Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[QUOTE=Blueridge;52852046]stuff[/QUOTE] We started messaging each other more often, but the topics are more focused towards school than anything else. On Tuesday I asked her if she was busy, she said she was working on a presentation with her group. I mentioned what I wanted to do - go get dinner - and she said she would like to go but wasn't sure when they would be done. We ended up scheduling to go get dinner today. It went pretty okay - she was really talkative and told me a bunch of stuff she's planning to do in the next few weeks. When I drove her back to her place I said something like "I like doing things with you", she said yeah and then thanked me and walked to her dorm. I'm not too sure what to do, like I want to move forward (if she's down for it of course) but at the same time I've never done this whole dating thing before so I don't know how to approach it. Right now I'm thinking of just asking her what she thinks of us sometime next week. I have until Thursday to do it, as she leaves for the rest of the week to a career fair in Boston.

There's this Dutch girl I like, and I mean REALLY like, but I live in the UK and we have only spoken for a month. She is definitely receptive to me but says she wants to meet first before determining if she likes likes me. What do?

[QUOTE=Dan The Man;52879338]There's this Dutch girl I like, and I mean REALLY like, but I live in the UK and we have only spoken for a month. She is definitely receptive to me but says she wants to meet first before determining if she likes likes me. What do?[/QUOTE] Meet her. Ya dingus. [editline]11th November 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=Blueridge;52878782]We started messaging each other more often, but the topics are more focused towards school than anything else. On Tuesday I asked her if she was busy, she said she was working on a presentation with her group. I mentioned what I wanted to do - go get dinner - and she said she would like to go but wasn't sure when they would be done. We ended up scheduling to go get dinner today. It went pretty okay - she was really talkative and told me a bunch of stuff she's planning to do in the next few weeks. When I drove her back to her place I said something like "I like doing things with you", she said yeah and then thanked me and walked to her dorm. I'm not too sure what to do, like I want to move forward (if she's down for it of course) but at the same time I've never done this whole dating thing before so I don't know how to approach it. Right now I'm thinking of just asking her what she thinks of us sometime next week. I have until Thursday to do it, as she leaves for the rest of the week to a career fair in Boston.[/QUOTE] Maybe say something like "How about we grab dinner again, but this time we call it a date?" That way, whatever happens you will at least have an answer as to whether she is romantically interested.

[QUOTE=NeonpieDFTBA;52872581]Update on this, none of them have apologised, and I haven't spoken to my best friend since. I messaged him this morning to tell him to fix it but he's ignoring it. I can't understand how he can go from my best mate who spends weeks organising my birthday, who I have a holiday booked with, who I trusted completely to this fucking shit. I'm at a loss.[/QUOTE] Final post about this, firstly, after I asked they all apologised. I shouldn't have had to ask but at least they did in the end. My best mate and I spoke today and he took complete responsibility and accepted that he'd massively screwed up. He let me be the one to decide how we deal with everything. We're not sorted but I think we can get there. Also, it's not something you really want to test, but it turned out that my support network caught me really well. My older sister and home friends have been supporting me all week, and my Dad literally dropped everything to drive 150 miles each way and take me home when I called him. [img]https://facepunch.com/fp/ratings/heart.png[/img]

I'm not sure if this is applicable to this thread, but does anyone have tips on setting up your tinder profile I never even used my real name on facebook until recently so I'm kinda anxious about it looking good enough

[QUOTE=WhyNott;52880628]I'm not sure if this is applicable to this thread, but does anyone have tips on setting up your tinder profile I never even used my real name on facebook until recently so I'm kinda anxious about it looking good enough[/QUOTE] Have a variety of photos showing you doing things, i.e. I took most of mine while on holiday so they're in pretty places/show me doing things other than being in my room. Also, it's better to have a small number of users really like your profile than have everyone go 'that's alright', especially when that small number of users are more likely to actually be people you'll have success talking to and beyond. As a general tip, Tinder is going to be shallow and involves basically mass filtering of people based on really superficial information, so if you start letting it affect your self esteem or obsessing over it, you're probably best off uninstalling it for a bit.

I got chest pain lately because of stress and anxiety. I should try and calm down, but I can't because my chest hurts and it scares me

As some of you may possibly remember, about a month ago me and my girlfriend of ~4 months mutually broke up on what were supposed to be good terms. I wanted to go no contact so I could get over her, but we share a mutual friend group, so it's been very rough. Basically, my ex and her best friend (mutual friends with me, part of the friend group) have been upset with me and the situation as a whole. I haven't been acting as maturely as I want to, but basically they are misinterpreting many things that I am doing, believing that I am trying to sabotage plans and other stuff. I wrote down my feelings explaining my point of view, which felt very good, but I'm wondering now if it would be a good idea to share it with my ex. I know I technically don't owe her any kind of explanation, but considering that no contact seems out of the question right now, I figured it might be a good idea to at least try to minimize tension. Should I share it with her, or just keep it to myself? I'm not sure.

[QUOTE=Bathtub;52880826]As some of you may possibly remember, about a month ago me and my girlfriend of ~4 months mutually broke up on what were supposed to be good terms. I wanted to go no contact so I could get over her, but we share a mutual friend group, so it's been very rough. Basically, my ex and her best friend (mutual friends with me, part of the friend group) have been upset with me and the situation as a whole. I haven't been acting as maturely as I want to, but basically they are misinterpreting many things that I am doing, believing that I am trying to sabotage plans and other stuff. I wrote down my feelings explaining my point of view, which felt very good, but I'm wondering now if it would be a good idea to share it with my ex. I know I technically don't owe her any kind of explanation, but considering that no contact seems out of the question right now, I figured it might be a good idea to at least try to minimize tension. Should I share it with her, or just keep it to myself? I'm not sure.[/QUOTE] It's probably just your ex rationalising reasons for the breakup in the first place. Saying/doing nothing is better at this point than something you might regret or have used against you. [QUOTE=Dan The Man;52879338]There's this Dutch girl I like, and I mean REALLY like, but I live in the UK and we have only spoken for a month. She is definitely receptive to me but says she wants to meet first before determining if she likes likes me. What do?[/QUOTE] Does she live in the Netherlands? Not worth your time. Long-distance relationships are nothing but a safety blanket and blue-balls, unless you agree to not be exclusive. If she's in the UK for a significant length of time, different story, but unless one of you plans on permanently moving one way or the other, still not worth it.

There's this girl at work I've been talking to for a few weeks now. She was kind of shy at first, but the more we talked, both in passing and during breaks the more I feel like we're clicking. We have a similar sense of humor and personalitys. She's gorgeous and I honestly can't stop thinking about her, but she's got a boyfriend. I don't want to overstep my bounds and at the very least wreck a friendship.

[QUOTE=danjee;52857454]Tinder's been treating me pretty well so far. I met a girl for coffee today and I think we hit it off nicely. I enjoyed the talk and she was even prettier than her pics. We exchanged numbers and parted ways. Like a 99% chance we'll meet again, she's texting me about music and concerts currently. thoughts: is she being a little quick, with the concert talk ? she texts a little more nonchalantly than she talks, she's just a little more reserved IRL than thru text I'd totally like to hang with her again but I also have tinder matches and convos that interest me, what's a tidy way to reconcile these things ? she's 19 I'm 22, I'll be damned if it's not a bummer when people aren't 21 yet[/QUOTE] some followup on this.. I've met up with the girl three times now, all one-on-one and we just go and do stuff in the city. We text in some capacity nearly everyday. We have not gotten physical other than hugs goodbye & once while we were chilling we pretty much sat so close we were touching. Our conversations are geared towards learning about each other but often in fun or flirty spirit. I don't know if I'm dating this girl or if we're friends. I get the feeling she likes me a lot but she's not very assertive (nor am I) so if she has romantic intentions then she's not very forward about them. As for myself, I could see getting romantic but I could also see just maintaining a friendship with her (is this in itself indicative at all?). Like, I'm new to this city and dating as a whole so I'm clean slate as hell; Tinder's been going a lot better for me than I imagined so while I definitely want to have a relationship with this girl in some capacity, I don't know if I should "go for" her or continue to screw around with Tinder. The lack of clarity has for the time being kept me from messaging on Tinder however. I feel like I'm in a game of blackjack and I don't know whether to hit or stand, as awful as that sounds. obvs it's necessary to communicate with her about it, but I still want to hear what you guys think [editline]12th November 2017[/editline] instant moment of clarity: I think I'd be more comfortable going on first dates with more girls before trying to get with one, as she is pretty much the first girl I've dated. is that reasonable. but then, how in the world would I recover from that if I told her this—like, "yep, I didn't see anyone else that looked good so I'm free now!!" feels sleazy.

[QUOTE=WhyNott;52880628]I'm not sure if this is applicable to this thread, but does anyone have tips on setting up your tinder profile I never even used my real name on facebook until recently so I'm kinda anxious about it looking good enough[/QUOTE] The setup that worked best for me was one serious picture, full body. The second picture of me smiling, third picture a group picture, and my final picture a picture of a dog. My bio was one of those 'review' bios. If you don't know what that means, I just wrote some funny things about my personality as a review. For example: 'Why are you always so sarcastic?' - My coworker Suzy. Usually works better to have something funny as bio rather than a serious list of things

I feel very trapped in my current relationship. We started seeing eachother over the summer, but then school came around and I go to college out of state and she goes to college in my home city so the next time I'll be able to see her is in December for winter break. But the thing is she likes me a lot more than I like her, and she's aware of this and it makes her upset. I already told her I don't want to have a serious relationship but I still want to be friends. But she's literally in love with me and the slightest mention of another girl (even if I'm just friends with them) makes her jealous/upset. I know we're technically not dating but it still feels like we are and I'd feel bad if I try to find a different girl because I don't want to hurt her feelings. When school came around and we split off I told her we can both do whatever we want at college but she keeps saying she doesn't want to do anything with other guys and only likes me. If I decide to break it off, I know she won't take it good and it'll ruin our friendship and I don't want that to happen because she's literally one of the only people I talk to and one of the few people I hang out with all the time. But if I stay, she's going to keep putting pressure on me to take our relationship to the next level (something I don't want to do with her). I like her a lot, but not enough for me to be seriously involved, if that makes sense. So now I see my two options are: 1. break it off and lose her as a friend. or 2. agree to get serious with her which I don't want to do.

[QUOTE=Blazyd;52882702]I feel very trapped in my current relationship. We started seeing eachother over the summer, but then school came around and I go to college out of state and she goes to college in my home city so the next time I'll be able to see her is in December for winter break. But the thing is she likes me a lot more than I like her, and she's aware of this and it makes her upset. I already told her I don't want to have a serious relationship but I still want to be friends. But she's literally in love with me and the slightest mention of another girl (even if I'm just friends with them) makes her jealous/upset. I know we're technically not dating but it still feels like we are and I'd feel bad if I try to find a different girl because I don't want to hurt her feelings. When school came around and we split off I told her we can both do whatever we want at college but she keeps saying she doesn't want to do anything with other guys and only likes me. If I decide to break it off, I know she won't take it good and it'll ruin our friendship and I don't want that to happen because she's literally one of the only people I talk to and one of the few people I hang out with all the time. But if I stay, she's going to keep putting pressure on me to take our relationship to the next level (something I don't want to do with her). I like her a lot, but not enough for me to be seriously involved, if that makes sense. So now I see my two options are: 1. break it off and lose her as a friend. or 2. agree to get serious with her which I don't want to do.[/QUOTE] Break off with her. You should not let her dictate what [I]you[/I] want. Honestly, she doesn't sound like a real friend if she's essentially giving you an ultimatum.

[QUOTE=Blazyd;52882702]I feel very trapped in my current relationship. We started seeing eachother over the summer, but then school came around and I go to college out of state and she goes to college in my home city so the next time I'll be able to see her is in December for winter break. But the thing is she likes me a lot more than I like her, and she's aware of this and it makes her upset. I already told her I don't want to have a serious relationship but I still want to be friends. But she's literally in love with me and the slightest mention of another girl (even if I'm just friends with them) makes her jealous/upset. I know we're technically not dating but it still feels like we are and I'd feel bad if I try to find a different girl because I don't want to hurt her feelings. When school came around and we split off I told her we can both do whatever we want at college but she keeps saying she doesn't want to do anything with other guys and only likes me. If I decide to break it off, I know she won't take it good and it'll ruin our friendship and I don't want that to happen because she's literally one of the only people I talk to and one of the few people I hang out with all the time. But if I stay, she's going to keep putting pressure on me to take our relationship to the next level (something I don't want to do with her). I like her a lot, but not enough for me to be seriously involved, if that makes sense. So now I see my two options are: 1. break it off and lose her as a friend. or 2. agree to get serious with her which I don't want to do.[/QUOTE] I was that person in my last relationship. My girlfriend just broke up with me about two weeks ago completely. I didn't take it good - for my own good, I went no contact and removed her off of everything I could think of, so I wouldn't be tempted to say anything. It sucked, but it also helped me. She was pretty much the only person I talked to outside of my roommates and I was lost for the first few days. Thankfully though, everyone I know here supported me through it and I actually became more outgoing thanks to it, gaining a lot more people I could talk to than before. Before, we first talked about staying friends, but I was like your friend - I just wanted to be in the relationship and loved her more than she loved me. Now I'm coming around and opening up more and more to staying friends. I know it's more anecdotal evidence than anything and this probably sounds like a mess, but maybe she'll come around and be open to staying friends after a while.

[QUOTE=Blazyd;52882702]I feel very trapped in my current relationship. We started seeing eachother over the summer, but then school came around and I go to college out of state and she goes to college in my home city so the next time I'll be able to see her is in December for winter break. But the thing is she likes me a lot more than I like her, and she's aware of this and it makes her upset. I already told her I don't want to have a serious relationship but I still want to be friends. But she's literally in love with me and the slightest mention of another girl (even if I'm just friends with them) makes her jealous/upset. I know we're technically not dating but it still feels like we are and I'd feel bad if I try to find a different girl because I don't want to hurt her feelings. When school came around and we split off I told her we can both do whatever we want at college but she keeps saying she doesn't want to do anything with other guys and only likes me. If I decide to break it off, I know she won't take it good and it'll ruin our friendship and I don't want that to happen because she's literally one of the only people I talk to and one of the few people I hang out with all the time. But if I stay, she's going to keep putting pressure on me to take our relationship to the next level (something I don't want to do with her). I like her a lot, but not enough for me to be seriously involved, if that makes sense. So now I see my two options are: 1. break it off and lose her as a friend. or 2. agree to get serious with her which I don't want to do.[/QUOTE] You have to bite the bullet and break it off, mate. You can't stay in a relationship for the other party's benefit - that's not how relationships work. It will be difficult, but it definitely sounds like you know this is the inevitable outcome already.

[QUOTE=Zombinie;52879435]Meet her. Ya dingus. [editline]11th November 2017[/editline] Maybe say something like "How about we grab dinner again, but this time we call it a date?" That way, whatever happens you will at least have an answer as to whether she is romantically interested.[/QUOTE] I'd feel pretty awkward if I had to say its a date :s: Not that asking her up front about it wouldn't be awkward either - but in that scenario I think we can both be more honest with each other.

[QUOTE=Dan The Man;52882793]You have to bite the bullet and break it off, mate. You can't stay in a relationship for the other party's benefit - that's not how relationships work. It will be difficult, but it definitely sounds like you know this is the inevitable outcome already.[/QUOTE] I know that's how it'll eventually end, I just want to make it easier on both of us somehow. It's just hard breaking up with one of the only people you talk to. I like her, and I like her company, but we're just on different pages and the longer I keep this up the more uncomfortable I become in keeping the relationship. I see her in person next in about a month when I go home. We already told each other we'll talk about it more in person then so I'm really hoping we can figure out where we'll go from here.

Ok, so I don't know if this is the right thread for this, but I gotta get this off my chest. I have had a good friend for about 5 years (Let's call him Dave), and he has had a girlfriend for about ten years, let's call her Nancy. They just moved into a new apartment. Right before they moved in though, Nancy came out as a trans-man. They both agreed to end the relationship on good terms, and had no other choice but to move into the new apartment, since the contract was signed and all that stuff. For the rest of the story I'm going to use the female pronoun for his ex, just to make the story easier to follow, it's not that I don't fully support Nancy's sexual identity, it just gets confusing when I lay out the entire story. So they start moving into a new apartment, and Nancy immediately gets herself a new girlfriend. Dave fully supports her, and is glad for her. He tells me this several times, so many times in a single evening in fact, that "I doth think thou protest too much" if you know what I mean. So Dave is now living with his ex gf, now turned trans man, and Nancy's new gf semi-regularly comes over. Dave is also becoming friends with this new gf, and often joins them with other friends on trips and stuff (I just got back from the new Gf's birthday party, which we all went to) The new gf also comes over semi-regularly (she lives a bit aways) and they (she and Nancy) have loud sex, using toys that Dave has previously bought for himself and Nancy. What a fucking shitty situation for Dave to be in, right? He now has to look for a new place to stay, even though he did all the (large amount of) work with preparing the new apartment, Nancy being away with her new gf for more than half the time these last few months, so he'll move out just because the apartment is a two person deal, and it'll be easier for Nancy's new gf to move in. I never thought I'd actually be using this word ironically, but he's becoming a massive cuck. I feel so bad for his situation, the whole thing is so surrealy complicated. I wanna ask him to cut all ties with the whole fucking situation, but he's blindly insisting on being totally cool with everything, and he wants to stay friends with both Nancy and her new gf. I want to sit down with him and talk some hard sense into him, but I have no idea how to even approach it.

[QUOTE=danjee;52857454]Tinder's been treating me pretty well so far. I met a girl for coffee today and I think we hit it off nicely. I enjoyed the talk and she was even prettier than her pics. We exchanged numbers and parted ways. Like a 99% chance we'll meet again, she's texting me about music and concerts currently. thoughts: is she being a little quick, with the concert talk ? she texts a little more nonchalantly than she talks, she's just a little more reserved IRL than thru text I'd totally like to hang with her again but I also have tinder matches and convos that interest me, what's a tidy way to reconcile these things ? she's 19 I'm 22, I'll be damned if it's not a bummer when people aren't 21 yet[/QUOTE] I happened to do the same thing about 2 weeks ago where I met a girl from this small town that's about 20 miles away from where I live. We pretty much did the same thing and I did ask for advice here the day before, but I didn't get to read any replies before I left to go there though I felt like it went pretty well. We click pretty well which is great and I do like her a lot, seemed like she liked me quite a bit too. Problem is, I tried messaging her after a bit and she just hasn't replied for some reason. She did say she wouldn't be able to respond because of a party later that day in the evening. I did in the end attempt to get hold of her on snapchat during the weekend but seemed like she wasn't on it until Monday as I tried to get hold of her again to her leaving me on seen. Not too sure what to do really, I have given myself about 2 weeks away from her now in hopes she would pop up but nothing really happened so yeah. Should I try popping up to her again now it's been a while? Kinda stuck on this one.

[QUOTE=xeo xeo;52884021]Ok, so I don't know if this is the right thread for this, but I gotta get this off my chest. I have had a good friend for about 5 years (Let's call him Dave), and he has had a girlfriend for about ten years, let's call her Nancy. They just moved into a new apartment. Right before they moved in though, Nancy came out as a trans-man. They both agreed to end the relationship on good terms, and had no other choice but to move into the new apartment, since the contract was signed and all that stuff. For the rest of the story I'm going to use the female pronoun for his ex, just to make the story easier to follow, it's not that I don't fully support Nancy's sexual identity, it just gets confusing when I lay out the entire story. So they start moving into a new apartment, and Nancy immediately gets herself a new girlfriend. Dave fully supports her, and is glad for her. He tells me this several times, so many times in a single evening in fact, that "I doth think thou protest too much" if you know what I mean. So Dave is now living with his ex gf, now turned trans man, and Nancy's new gf semi-regularly comes over. Dave is also becoming friends with this new gf, and often joins them with other friends on trips and stuff (I just got back from the new Gf's birthday party, which we all went to) The new gf also comes over semi-regularly (she lives a bit aways) and they (she and Nancy) have loud sex, using toys that Dave has previously bought for himself and Nancy. What a fucking shitty situation for Dave to be in, right? He now has to look for a new place to stay, even though he did all the (large amount of) work with preparing the new apartment, Nancy being away with her new gf for more than half the time these last few months, so he'll move out just because the apartment is a two person deal, and it'll be easier for Nancy's new gf to move in. I never thought I'd actually be using this word ironically, but he's becoming a massive cuck. I feel so bad for his situation, the whole thing is so surrealy complicated. I wanna ask him to cut all ties with the whole fucking situation, but he's blindly insisting on being totally cool with everything, and he wants to stay friends with both Nancy and her new gf. I want to sit down with him and talk some hard sense into him, but I have no idea how to even approach it.[/QUOTE] That is really shitty for Dave. Nancy is a huge dick in this story, Nancy waited far too long to come out and say the truth, while I will never know what it feels like to be trans and have the mindset of a man in a womans body or vice versa I do believe it doesn't just happen over night so Nancy probably had a ton of time to tell Dave about this but I guess Nancy just wanted the new apartment? I feel bad for Dave if he actually has nowhere else to go what can he actually do..

Hey all, first time posting here so apologies if this doesn't really fit with the general flow of the thread. So, I've been taking driver's lessons for almost a year now and I've slowly been taking steps getting closer to my final exam. To provide some important background information: I've been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder years ago, which is the name for a wide collection of disorders. As a result I had to take a driving test last month that determined if I'm mentally in a fit state to drive. This test took place in the city next to my hometown which is significantly busier and was at 3 PM, so traffic was about to heat up before rush hour. Me and my instructor went to the examination office while I was driving. To make matters worse I ran a red light by accident, at an intersection that was monitored by a speed camera. We both got ourselves shocked that neither of us stopped for the light turning orange, but that quickly turned into annoyance from my instructor as HE would have to pay the ticket. As a result I got pretty shaken up and felt like shit, because by law he would have to pay the ticket. As a result I was feeling guilty the whole time as we were still going to the examination office. The actual driving test took place with an examiner and a trainee who went with us for observation. Once we stepped into the vehicle my feeling of guilt evaporated and I started to calm down. What I noticed is that I felt completely relaxed and drove a whole lot better than when my instructor is driving along with me. Overall I was scanning the road ahead much better, instantly recognized potential hazards that prompt me to change the car's speed to a appropriate pace and I've been looking in my mirrors until they nearly fell off at occasional intervals. After the test the examiner actually complimented me that I was checking my surroundings around the vehicle really good and overall the ride went very smooth and relaxed. The kicker is that I drive quite chaotic and 'rushed' during my normal lessons with my instructor. I check my surroundings piss poorly compared to how I performed at the driving test, I stare ahead of me quite often and I forget to check my mirrors most of the time, unless I have to take a turn, where you have to check your inner mirror, left / right exterior mirror, then your left / right blind spot and use the turn signal. To conclude this long threaded story, could it be that my instructor somehow affects my driving skills? So to say he's a really energetic type and I can chat along with him about whatever pretty well. I can't shake this feeling that his vibe somehow affects my peace of mind as I'm driving. I want to discuss these thoughts with my instructor but I really don't want to give him a giant 'fuck you' feeling since we've been working towards my license for almost a full year already. Edit: to clarify, the driving test I had did not determine if I passed to get my drivers license, but rather the ability to get it. The test merely focused on automation of clutching, shifting gears and so on, and division of attention and predicting what other drivers do on the road.

[QUOTE=Merijnwitje;52886209]Hey all, first time posting here so apologies if this doesn't really fit with the general flow of the thread. So, I've been taking driver's lessons for almost a year now and I've slowly been taking steps getting closer to my final exam. To provide some important background information: I've been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder years ago, which is the name for a wide collection of disorders. As a result I had to take a driving test last month that determined if I'm mentally in a fit state to drive. This test took place in the city next to my hometown which is significantly busier and was at 3 PM, so traffic was about to heat up before rush hour. Me and my instructor went to the examination office while I was driving. To make matters worse I ran a red light by accident, at an intersection that was monitored by a speed camera. We both got ourselves shocked that neither of us stopped for the light turning orange, but that quickly turned into annoyance from my instructor as HE would have to pay the ticket. As a result I got pretty shaken up and felt like shit, because by law he would have to pay the ticket. As a result I was feeling guilty the whole time as we were still going to the examination office. The actual driving test took place with an examiner and a trainee who went with us for observation. Once we stepped into the vehicle my feeling of guilt evaporated and I started to calm down. What I noticed is that I felt completely relaxed and drove a whole lot better than when my instructor is driving along with me. Overall I was scanning the road ahead much better, instantly recognized potential hazards that prompt me to change the car's speed to a appropriate pace and I've been looking in my mirrors until they nearly fell off at occasional intervals. After the test the examiner actually complimented me that I was checking my surroundings around the vehicle really good and overall the ride went very smooth and relaxed. The kicker is that I drive quite chaotic and 'rushed' during my normal lessons with my instructor. I check my surroundings piss poorly compared to how I performed at the driving test, I stare ahead of me quite often and I forget to check my mirrors most of the time, unless I have to take a turn, where you have to check your inner mirror, left / right exterior mirror, then your left / right blind spot and use the turn signal. To conclude this long threaded story, could it be that my instructor somehow affects my driving skills? So to say he's a really energetic type and I can chat along with him about whatever pretty well. I can't shake this feeling that his vibe somehow affects my peace of mind as I'm driving. I want to discuss these thoughts with my instructor but I really don't want to give him a giant 'fuck you' feeling since we've been working towards my license for almost a full year already.[/QUOTE] I feel somewhat qualified to answer, as I'm also autistic, and also learned to drive from an instructor, in this case, one provided for me by the WV Division of Rehabilitative Services. My instructor could be blunt at times, especially when I did something wrong, yet would praise me if I drove well for the day. I felt nervous at first, but got used to him the more we drove together. By the time we prepared for the test, I drove as well as I ever have. You might be overthinking things. You should perform better during a test than during a normal drive, as the pressure is on to pass. Yet there are chances that your instructor may be stressing you out because he isn't a good personality fit. Why would you tell him though if you're probably done with him after you pass your exam?

The test I took wasn't to qualify me for my drivers license, but to permit me to take the exam. I still have to take an exam before I get my license.

[QUOTE=Merijnwitje;52886680]The test I took wasn't to qualify me for my drivers license, but to permit me to take the exam. I still have to take an exam before I get my license.[/QUOTE] You have to take an exam to qualify for the exam? what the heck

[QUOTE=Merijnwitje;52886209]To provide some important background information: I've been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder years ago, which is the name for a wide collection of disorders. As a result I had to take a driving test last month that determined if I'm mentally in a fit state to drive.[/QUOTE] I'm actually very curious about this part, since this is the first I've ever heard of it, and I want to know if it's probably something I should look into. Not just because I'm also somewhere along the spectrum, but because I have so much anxiety about the thought of driving that it seems like something I should get evaluated for. But to answer your question; your instructor could possibly be affecting your driving skills. How do you think his vibe is affecting your peace of mind, though? Does it cause you to feel more stressed, or too relaxed?

I know one thing, that I will never ever date with a girl online anymore, it sucks. Tried few times, lived in different counties, not far but still was a pain, so finally anyway we break up because of lacjing attention/distance/cold in the relationship. Never ever again.

[QUOTE=BrandoJack;52887761]I'm actually very curious about this part, since this is the first I've ever heard of it, and I want to know if it's probably something I should look into. Not just because I'm also somewhere along the spectrum, but because I have so much anxiety about the thought of driving that it seems like something I should get evaluated for. But to answer your question; your instructor could possibly be affecting your driving skills. How do you think his vibe is affecting your peace of mind, though? Does it cause you to feel more stressed, or too relaxed?[/QUOTE] I donno, I had the feeling I was getting rushed. The kicker is I had a lesson today at 8 AM in the morning and it went pretty well and I felt a lot more relaxed. Maybe it's just me overthinking things because I want to get my license so fucking badly :v: The major difference today compared to the past lessons is that this was at the start of the week instead of at the end of the week when I am mostly worn out and tired. Maybe it's safe to rule out it's not my instructor somehow affecting me. Thank you guys for reading my troubles though! I might as well take the liberty of further diving into how the law here works with drivers in training. Sorry to the mods for going off-topic here however. Before you get permission to take the final exam, you need to fill in a medical document which has questions listed to nail down if you have any physical, psychological issues or take any medicine that could interfere with your driving abilities. In my case I had to fill in that I have Autism as it is a potential issue. I am more or less forced to do this as you have to sign the document to full truth, and if you would apply for the exam and the examiner has suspicions. My disorder is on my medical record to begin with so it could easily be figured out. Once I filled in the document and sent it to the CBR (Central Bureau of Driving Skills), I had to make an appointment with my general practitioner to sign a paper to confirm I have autism. I've sent this letter over to the CBR, and a few weeks passed. I then got assigned to a specific doctor at a hospital to make an appointment there who had to evaluate my mental state. That appointment costed me 188 euros for merely 15 minutes. The questions were as following: "How many lessons have you already taken? "20". Do you drive with an automatic or manual gearbox?" "Manual." "Do you have any specific difficulties in your daily life?". As I was looking over to my mom I simply told the guy "Not really, I have my social anxieties sometimes but any other than that I can't say so.". "Alright, I see no reason why you shouldn't be able to drive. After you complete the payment for this appointment this document will be sent out to the CBR." Fast forward again about a month or two later, I finally got an invitation to plan a driving test. With my Autism Spectrum Disorder in mind, this test would evaluate my automation of clutching, shifting gears and so on, and division of attention and predicting what other drivers do on the road. I passed the test with flying colors and I was declared in a fit state to drive. My brother also had to undertake this test as he has Aspergers, and once he gets his driver's license it will remain valid for five years. He would have to re-take this test every 5 years then. And the kicker? The time between the CBR receiving the document where I mentioned I have autism, and their decision took 5 fucking months for me! As for your anxiety, if it's not listed as a diagnosis on your medical record, don't mention it. If you start taking drivers lessons or are already taking them, tell your (future) instructor your troubles. He / she should take this into account and simply spend more lessons with you to get you more confident on the road. When I had my first tryout with my instructor I filled in him on who I am and I already told him that I probably will need more lessons than average before I would be ready to take the exam. Which is indeed the case as I'm already taking lessons for almost a year now.

-snipe-

Do you think relationship is unstable/doomed if one half doubts/questions whether the other half is right for them from time to time and has doubts about it?