[QUOTE=arleitiss;52892270]Do you think relationship is unstable/doomed if one half doubts/questions whether the other half is right for them from time to time and has doubts about it?[/QUOTE]
I'm no expert but it would be pretty silly if you were always 100% sure about something, especially a major life choice like relationships. If they're constantly unsatisfied and pine for something else, that's a problem. Occasionally wondering if there's something better is just human nature, at least that's how I see it.
I talked to a couple of people for advice on my situation and got almost the same thing from all of them, which was more or less "your call, but ____ might work". One of the ideas I got that seemed like the best plan when I initially heard it was to send her a card telling her my feelings, love letter style. Just to check my sanity, I talked to a few people about it and they said it wasn't a bad idea, as in Japan (from their words) love letters like the one I was planning on sending is common there. I took the big risk that love letter plans tend to have and wrote one, saying "I like you, I want to spend more time with you, and was wondering what your thoughts are", which I think is pretty low on the cringe-scale. She texted me with a question for her resume, I then suggested we meet up and work on it in person and she agreed. After I was done helping her I gave her the card, and she seemed really happy when I showed it to her. She was smiling the entire time she read it, and then thanked me and asked me to give her some time to think over it.
So now I wait.
Is it weird or creepy to ask a girl whether or not they want to try and start a relationship?
Basically I met this girl online we talked for a while, we met in person a where pretty good, and we've been talking almost daily since, but I don't know if she just be friends or wants to try and be something more than that.
Is it wrong to ask, and if not what could I saw not appear like a creep?
Congrats dude[QUOTE=Blueridge;52894607]I talked to a couple of people for advice on my situation and got almost the same thing from all of them, which was more or less "your call, but ____ might work". One of the ideas I got that seemed like the best plan when I initially heard it was to send her a card telling her my feelings, love letter style. Just to check my sanity, I talked to a few people about it and they said it wasn't a bad idea, as in Japan (from their words) love letters like the one I was planning on sending is common there. I took the big risk that love letter plans tend to have and wrote one, saying "I like you, I want to spend more time with you, and was wondering what your thoughts are", which I think is pretty low on the cringe-scale. She texted me with a question for her resume, I then suggested we meet up and work on it in person and she agreed. After I was done helping her I gave her the card, and she seemed really happy when I showed it to her. She was smiling the entire time she read it, and then thanked me and asked me to give her some time to think over it.
So now I wait.[/QUOTE]
[editline]15th November 2017[/editline]
[QUOTE=_Maverick_;52894672]Is it weird or creepy to ask a girl whether or not they want to try and start a relationship?
Basically I met this girl online we talked for a while, we met in person a where pretty good, and we've been talking almost daily since, but I don't know if she just be friends or wants to try and be something more than that.
Is it wrong to ask, and if not what could I saw not appear like a creep?[/QUOTE]
You don't seem creepy, just do what's ez if ya have feelins
Is it cool to have a bit of a problem if the person youre with is on their phone frequently?
My gut is saying that its a little shunning/vein sometimes. Dont get me wrong, everybody has times where they're on their phone a lot because of genuinely important shit or if their just naturally busy, but i just cant shake the feeling that its sort of shunning when it feels like almost all the time, even more than me. I just want to know if its a issue with me or her, or even both.
[QUOTE=sourcegamer101;52894882]Is it cool to have a bit of a problem if the person youre with is on their phone frequently?
My gut is saying that its a little shunning/vein sometimes. Dont get me wrong, everybody has times where they're on their phone a lot because of genuinely important shit or if their just naturally busy, but i just cant shake the feeling that its sort of shunning when it feels like almost all the time, even more than me. I just want to know if its a issue with me or her, or even both.[/QUOTE]
relax and let her come to you. enjoy yourself!
in other words, you should be focused on having a good time regardless of how others are treating you. it's all about vibes man. if she isn't right for you, don't be afraid to do things for yourself. join cross country or learn the guitar.
Quick note: I [I]might[/I] not be online to make the next one of these threads, so if someone wants to make it on the chance that I'm not around, let me know?
Ty ty.
[QUOTE=_Maverick_;52894672]Is it weird or creepy to ask a girl whether or not they want to try and start a relationship?
Basically I met this girl online we talked for a while, we met in person a where pretty good, and we've been talking almost daily since, but I don't know if she just be friends or wants to try and be something more than that.
Is it wrong to ask, and if not what could I saw not appear like a creep?[/QUOTE]
It's not creepy to ask this at all, the majority of relationships stem from a really good friendship, I know that is how I got my GF. The difference is, with it being online, is that it kind of has to be asked into order for something to happen if that makes sense, most of the time when it's in person and you see that person everyday it just happens naturally because of how close you are. I would just ask and see what happens, it's worse if you have feelings for her and you don't ask because then she will know something is up and it will create tension.
[QUOTE=Blueridge;52894607]I talked to a couple of people for advice on my situation and got almost the same thing from all of them, which was more or less "your call, but ____ might work". One of the ideas I got that seemed like the best plan when I initially heard it was to send her a card telling her my feelings, love letter style. Just to check my sanity, I talked to a few people about it and they said it wasn't a bad idea, as in Japan (from their words) love letters like the one I was planning on sending is common there. I took the big risk that love letter plans tend to have and wrote one, saying "I like you, I want to spend more time with you, and was wondering what your thoughts are", which I think is pretty low on the cringe-scale. She texted me with a question for her resume, I then suggested we meet up and work on it in person and she agreed. After I was done helping her I gave her the card, and she seemed really happy when I showed it to her. She was smiling the entire time she read it, and then thanked me and asked me to give her some time to think over it.
So now I wait.[/QUOTE]
This is really heartwarming, proud of you , brother
[QUOTE=sourcegamer101;52894882]Is it cool to have a bit of a problem if the person youre with is on their phone frequently?
My gut is saying that its a little shunning/vein sometimes. Dont get me wrong, everybody has times where they're on their phone a lot because of genuinely important shit or if their just naturally busy, but i just cant shake the feeling that its sort of shunning when it feels like almost all the time, even more than me. I just want to know if its a issue with me or her, or even both.[/QUOTE]
I think I remember talking about this in the thread before, but I've always thought it was rude to be using the phone a lot when you're hanging out with somebody, especially if it's just the two of you.
But weirdly, it's now seeming to me like a generational shift. I'm in my late 20s, and was dating a girl in her early 20s who would do this all the time, and when I brought it up with her, she seemed totally understanding and even agreed that she doesn't like people doing that either, but at some later date, I looked over at her when she was texting all through a movie we were watching, and she just dramatically sighed and dropped her phone to the side like I was the asshole.
Hung out with another friend in his early/mid 20s and he was just [i]constantly[/i] looking at facebook on his phone, and it was his whole source of conversation topics. This was in a group, so I'd say less rude, but still.
I don't know a lot of younger people who actually make it a point to put away their phone in other people's presence, and while I still think it's rude, I get the feeling it's going to be an outdated sentiment before long.
If someone you're dating is sat there looking at their phone, they're either extremely vapid or just testing you. Whatever you do don't just sit there and allow it; depending on the situation, do something mischievous and snap their attention back to the real world. If they go straight back to the phone, cut your losses and walk, or skip to this step if you're not that invested. No point entertaining someone who gets more gratification out the number of likes they have on their millionth facebook post than interacting with the person right in front of them.
[QUOTE=Morbo!!!;52896551]If someone you're dating is sat there looking at their phone, they're either extremely vapid or just testing you. Whatever you do don't just sit there and allow it; depending on the situation, do something mischievous and snap their attention back to the real world. If they go straight back to the phone, cut your losses and walk, or skip to this step if you're not that invested. No point entertaining someone who gets more gratification out the number of likes they have on their millionth facebook post than interacting with the person right in front of them.[/QUOTE]
Agreed. Being on the phone for prolonged periods of time during a date is really disrespectful. I think I've already mentioned this here once, but that happened to me years ago when I was out walking with one of my dates so I pulled up my phone and pretended I was talking to someone. "Hey! no I'm just here with this boring woman who is on her phone all the time". She put away the phone and said she was sorry. Don't ever let a woman (or a man) step all over you on a date.
Being in a relationship and seeing each other often is different. My GF is on her phone a lot because she has a shitload of work at her job and she's writing her masters thesis. She's trying to get transferred to Stockholm permanently so we can see each other more and even though it bugs me some times I just swallow it and do something else. It will be better when she's done with her thesis and besides, you can't expect someone to give you all of their undivided attention all the time if you spend entire days together.
It's official, I can't possibly have a relationship with a girl as a friend. Is just not happening. I always end up being awkward about it and just end up ruining the entire thing.
I know I'm probably gonna sound like a complete idiot but I think is virtually impossible for me to just be friends with a girl without me not developing some kind of crush on them and making myself feel like shit in the process.
[QUOTE=billeh!;52894901] enjoy yourself!
in other words, you should be focused on having a good time regardless of how others are treating you. it's all about vibes man. if she isn't right for you, don't be afraid to do things for yourself. join cross country or learn the guitar.[/QUOTE]
Prioritising your own enjoyment of life over that of anybody else's is the most essential component to being an attractive man. Coincidentally it will give you the best chance of getting what you want outside of sex and relationships.
That said,
[quote]relax and let her come to you.[/quote]
You gotta put in some kind of effort if you wanna smash. In other words, include her in that fun.
[editline]16th November 2017[/editline]
[QUOTE=SoftHearted;52896925]It's official, I can't possibly have a relationship with a girl as a friend. Is just not happening. I always end up being awkward about it and just end up ruining the entire thing.
I know I'm probably gonna sound like a complete idiot but I think is virtually impossible for me to just be friends with a girl without me not developing some kind of crush on them and making myself feel like shit in the process.[/QUOTE]
I kinda don't believe in platonic friendship between hetero men and women (and I assume homosexual relationships function the same). There's always going to be attraction between them. It might not be particularly strong, or reciprocated one way or the other, but it's there because genitals and/or orientation are compatible. You're not an idiot for being attracted to someone, but you are an idiot (sorry) for thinking that being their friend is going to end up with them reciprocating that attraction. That said, if you are already in a sexual relationship with someone, those platonic friendships become more plausible (at least from your end) because your needs are met in this regard.
[QUOTE=Morbo!!!;52897305]Prioritising your own enjoyment of life over that of anybody else's is the most essential component to being an attractive man. Coincidentally it will give you the best chance of getting what you want outside of sex and relationships.
That said,
You gotta put in some kind of effort if you wanna smash. In other words, include her in that fun.
[editline]16th November 2017[/editline]
I kinda don't believe in platonic friendship between hetero men and women (and I assume homosexual relationships function the same). There's always going to be attraction between them. It might not be particularly strong, or reciprocated one way or the other, but it's there because genitals and/or orientation are compatible. You're not an idiot for being attracted to someone, but you are an idiot (sorry) for thinking that being their friend is going to end up with them reciprocating that attraction. That said, if you are already in a sexual relationship with someone, those platonic friendships become more plausible (at least from your end) because your needs are met in this regard.[/QUOTE]
To add, it can be a hellish experience to be friends with a girl that you're attracted to, but it is possible to be friends with a girl and not have sex with her... which seems true to heart (fo me)
tbt what I said here may not be suitable for everyone, just follow your heart, one way or the other
[QUOTE=Morbo!!!;52897305]I kinda don't believe in platonic friendship between hetero men and women (and I assume homosexual relationships function the same). There's always going to be attraction between them. It might not be particularly strong, or reciprocated one way or the other, but it's there because genitals and/or orientation are compatible. You're not an idiot for being attracted to someone, but you are an idiot (sorry) for thinking that being their friend is going to end up with them reciprocating that attraction. That said, if you are already in a sexual relationship with someone, those platonic friendships become more plausible (at least from your end) because your needs are met in this regard.[/QUOTE]
Trust me, I never befriend anyone expecting something back from them. That's just low in a lot of aspects. I've been this way before way too many times and is specially umcomfortable for me since most of the time they are in a relationship already and it makes me feel even more like shit for developing some kind of crush that I know will never be recipocrated.
Also not trying to paint myself as a saint but I always try to put myself in other people's shoes. I wouldn't like being a relationship just for the person to start going out with some dude she just met.
[QUOTE=Morbo!!!;52897305]I kinda don't believe in platonic friendship between hetero men and women (and I assume homosexual relationships function the same). There's always going to be attraction between them. It might not be particularly strong, or reciprocated one way or the other, but it's there because genitals and/or orientation are compatible. You're not an idiot for being attracted to someone, but you are an idiot (sorry) for thinking that being their friend is going to end up with them reciprocating that attraction. That said, if you are already in a sexual relationship with someone, those platonic friendships become more plausible (at least from your end) because your needs are met in this regard.[/QUOTE]
I'm sorry but this is a crock of shit. You're not always going to feel attracted to someone just because they're whatever sex you're attracted to. Unless you're a raging ball of sex and hormones it's entirely possible to not feel an attraction to someone of your preferred sex.
[QUOTE=Morbo!!!;52897305]It might not be particularly strong, or reciprocated one way or the other[/QUOTE]
if it's possible to not be reciprocal then it's possible to have a zero-attraction relationship lmao
[QUOTE=Morbo!!!;52897305]Prioritising your own enjoyment of life over that of anybody else's is the most essential component to being an attractive man. Coincidentally it will give you the best chance of getting what you want outside of sex and relationships.
That said,
You gotta put in some kind of effort if you wanna smash. In other words, include her in that fun.
[editline]16th November 2017[/editline]
I kinda don't believe in platonic friendship between hetero men and women (and I assume homosexual relationships function the same). There's always going to be attraction between them. It might not be particularly strong, or reciprocated one way or the other, but it's there because genitals and/or orientation are compatible. You're not an idiot for being attracted to someone, but you are an idiot (sorry) for thinking that being their friend is going to end up with them reciprocating that attraction. That said, if you are already in a sexual relationship with someone, those platonic friendships become more plausible (at least from your end) because your needs are met in this regard.[/QUOTE]
i have had a completely platonic friendship with a woman for going on a year now
you're so unbelievable wrong
Lmao women don't have to love you back just because you got a crush on some of them
They are capable of making their own independent decision, this is 2017, not 1548
[QUOTE=Anderan;52899158]I'm sorry but this is a crock of shit. You're not always going to feel attracted to someone just because they're whatever sex you're attracted to. Unless you're a raging ball of sex and hormones it's entirely possible to not feel an attraction to someone of your preferred sex.[/QUOTE]
To rephrase, I don't think a friendship (assuming heterosexuality - and I stress the word friendship as opposed to acquaintance or professional relationship) between a guy and a girl could ever function the same as a friendship between two men or two women. Again, there's going to be attraction from at least one party if not both. To reiterate, that's not to say it's strong enough either way to perceptibly mean anything, but in such cases I'd question how that friendship came to be in the first place; it'd be the exception that proves the rule in my eyes and something I've yet to witness or experience myself. Not that there's anything wrong with those exceptions.
[QUOTE=danjee;52899249]if it's possible to not be reciprocal then it's possible to have a zero-attraction relationship lmao[/QUOTE]
Reciprocation necessitates one party put something forward in the first place.
[QUOTE=Anderan;52899158]I'm sorry but this is a crock of shit. You're not always going to feel attracted to someone just because they're whatever sex you're attracted to. Unless you're a raging ball of sex and hormones it's entirely possible to not feel an attraction to someone of your preferred sex.
[/QUOTE]
It's the unconscious acknowledegment of the possibility of attraction, and subsequent assessment thereof. Any form of relationship you have with someone of your preferred sex is going to be formed in that context
[QUOTE=LordCrypto;52899265]i have had a completely platonic friendship with a woman for going on a year now[/QUOTE]
How certain can you be that she's not attracted to you at any level beyond insignificant, or vice-versa? Is she conventionally attractive; are you? I'm only posting about this because it's healthy to challenge our beliefs, but I'd appreciate some greater context to take this as one for my own.
That said, attractiveness plays into intersexual relationships beyond how the two interact directly with one another. Surround yourself with attractive people of the opposite/preferred sex and you can be perceived as more attractive, by others as well as yourself. It's incidental "wingman"ing.
[QUOTE=Ignhelper;52899296]Lmao women don't have to love you back just because you got a crush on some of them[/QUOTE]
If this is directed to me, that's exactly what I'm saying. You might be attracted to them, that doesn't mean the opposite's going to be true. And you're in for a shit ride if your "strategy" is to make friends with a person you're attracted to (at least if they're the only person you're making an effort with, re: above). If love and lust are magical, you gotta be the magician.
[QUOTE=SoftHearted;52898989]Trust me, I never befriend anyone expecting something back from them. [/QUOTE]
More people do than you may realise unconsciously or not, but I think I mistook what you said in the first place. If you want to avoid developing feelings for female friends, you're going to want those feelings fulfilled by someone else in the first place.
What's everyone's opinion on asking someone out while they are working? I can't remember the amount of times I was immensely interested in someone at a coffee shop or store... but didn't say anything because they were currently working. I never see these people outside of their job, so I never get a chance to ask them out.
What do you guys/gals do? Nothing too? I've always thought it to be something people preferred to not happen.
[QUOTE=Live2becool;52899561]What's everyone's opinion on asking someone out while they are working? I can't remember the amount of times I was immensely interested in someone at a coffee shop or store... but didn't say anything because they were currently working. I never see these people outside of their job, so I never get a chance to ask them out.
What do you guys/gals do? Nothing too? I've always thought it to be something people preferred to not happen.[/QUOTE]
You can try, but I don't gurantee success. F&B people often get people asking them out, especially people working in bars.
But chances are really silm.
[QUOTE=Live2becool;52899561]What's everyone's opinion on asking someone out while they are working? I can't remember the amount of times I was immensely interested in someone at a coffee shop or store... but didn't say anything because they were currently working. I never see these people outside of their job, so it just kind of sucks to not try asking them out.
What do you guys/gals do? Nothing too?[/QUOTE]
It depends on the environment if you will. Is it busy? Are they preoccupied?
Being a regular customer and therefore a familiar face would help, otherwise professional standards would make it difficult for you to engage with them, but you do have to engage with them beyond just customer-employee interaction. It's a tightrope though, too forward and you'd probably get kicked out at best, too little and you wouldn't hold their interest.
[QUOTE=Morbo!!!;52899492]It's the unconscious acknowledgement of the possibility of attraction, and subsequent assessment thereof. Any form of relationship you have with someone of your preferred sex is going to be formed in that context[/QUOTE]
I honestly have no idea what you're trying to say. That every male attracted to women will unconsciously try to fuck their female friends and that every friendship will be influenced by this? Because you're gonna need to actual cite some evidence for that claim.
[QUOTE=Anderan;52899580]I honestly have no idea what you're trying to say. That every male attracted to women will unconsciously try to fuck their female friends and that every friendship will be influenced by this? Because you're gonna need to actual cite some evidence for that claim.[/QUOTE]
No - well, sort of actually. But more that how attractive someone of your preferred sex is plays a role in how the relationship between you would form, and that your motivations and desire to form that relationship, and what kind of relationship you would desire, change based on how attractive you find them and your [I]expectation[/I] (not necessarily the reality) of the inverse. Again, most of this isn't happening in the conscious mind, it's not a logical "If>then" deduction, your id and ego fill in the blanks.
Both my best mates are independent, successful and physically attractive, but most importantly, very charismatic. They're both "friends" with a lot of girls - and I can't think of any one who could be seen as unattractive, except those who are incidental. Of those, I can think of few who wouldn't want to have sexual relations with them were they each not in committed relationships and few with whom they wouldn't reciprocate.
So beyond that and this [quote]That said, attractiveness plays into intersexual relationships beyond how the two interact directly with one another. Surround yourself with attractive people of the opposite/preferred sex and you can be perceived as more attractive, by others as well as yourself. It's incidental "wingman"ing.[/quote] in what capacity are they friends and why? Why do they and those girls enjoy one anothers' company? It's certainly not for the same reasons they're friends with each other with me. You might characterise these sorts of people as shallow, superficial or narcissistic and those elements are certainly present to a degree, but but by no means define the entire character of either my friends or the company they hold.
To bring it back round, yes, I do believe that desire (or lack thereof) plays a part in why men and women are friends (Not counting "incidental friendships", ie people you hang out with through mutual friends)
[QUOTE=Morbo!!!;52899630]No - well, sort of actually. But more that how attractive someone of your preferred sex is plays a role in how the relationship between you would form, and that your motivations and desire to form that relationship, and what kind of relationship you would desire, change based on how attractive you find them and your [I]expectation[/I] (not necessarily the reality) of the inverse. Again, most of this isn't happening in the conscious mind, it's not a logical "If>then" deduction, your id and ego fill in the blanks.
Both my best mates are independent, successful and physically attractive, but most importantly, very charismatic. They're both "friends" with a lot of girls - and I can't think of any one who could be seen as unattractive, except those who are incidental. Of those, I can think of few who wouldn't want to have sexual relations with them were they each not in committed relationships and few with whom they wouldn't reciprocate.
So beyond that and this in what capacity are they friends and why? Why do they and those girls enjoy one anothers' company? It's certainly not for the same reasons they're friends with each other with me. You might characterise these sorts of people as shallow, superficial or narcissistic and those elements are certainly present to a degree, but but by no means define the entire character of either my friends or the company they hold.
To bring it back round, yes, I do believe that desire (or lack thereof) plays a part in why men and women are friends (Not counting "incidental friendships", ie people you hang out with through mutual friends)[/QUOTE]
So do you have anything beyond anecdotes to back any of this up? As far as I can tell you're basically saying attractive people will only be friends with other attractive people and that this will naturally mean that they would be willing to have relations with each other because they inevitably meet their ideal.
Except this is still a crock of shit because not everyone is that shallow or forms relations based entirely upon whether or not people meet their ideal. Simple repeated contact can be enough to form relations and I personally have been friends with females that I was never even slightly interested in sexually or engaging in a relationship in. We were friends because we shared interests or interacted regularly. You can very much be a hetero male and look at a female and not think "You know, I'd probably fuck her".
Not everybody's end goal is to find a romantic relationship or further their appeal to potential partners.
[QUOTE=Anderan;52899645]So do you have anything beyond anecdotes to back any of this up?[/quote]
Nope. I'm not trying to convince you of anything, I'm expressing my view.
[quote]Except this is still a crock of shit because not everyone is that shallow or forms relations based entirely upon whether or not people meet their ideal. [/quote]
Except that's not what I said.
[quote]
Simple repeated contact can be enough to form relations and I personally have been friends with females that I was never even slightly interested in sexually or engaging in a relationship in. We were friends because we shared interests or interacted regularly. [/quote]
Fair enough, but were any of them hot? Let's assume they are, and say for the sake of hypotheticals that you're in a relationship, and meet up to share your interests and interact regularly. Would the first assumption of your partner be that you're cheating on her with them? I think it's reasonable to say so.
Now if these friends were male, that wouldn't be the case (unless you were bi I suppose).
Now let's flip it around, and your girlfriend was regularly meeting up with a group of dudes to idk, go bowling or indulge some other hobby. Are you telling me you wouldn't have an inkling of suspicion in such a case? But it wouldn't be the same if it was other girls, would it.
Or, be the third party in this scenario. You go bowling with your friends, one of whom is a girl with a boyfriend. Do you reckon he'd be 100% happy and cool about her hanging out with a group of guys without him? How would that affect her interaction with that group?
[quote]You can very much be a hetero male and look at a female and not think "You know, I'd probably fuck her".[/QUOTE] Can you? I don't believe that - well, I don't believe that you can look at a girl and on some level assess [I]whether[/I] you would - and again, this isn't necessarily conscious thought. At least I never haven't.
[QUOTE=Morbo!!!;52899688]Fair enough, but were any of them hot? Let's assume they are, and say for the sake of hypotheticals that you're in a relationship, and meet up to share your interests and interact regularly. Would the first assumption of your partner be that you're cheating on her with them? I think it's reasonable to say so.
Now if these friends were male, that wouldn't be the case (unless you were bi I suppose).
Now let's flip it around, and your girlfriend was regularly meeting up with a group of dudes to idk, go bowling or indulge some other hobby. Are you telling me you wouldn't have an inkling of suspicion in such a case? But it wouldn't be the same if it was other girls, would it.
Or, be the third party in this scenario. You go bowling with your friends, one of whom is a girl with a boyfriend. Do you reckon he'd be 100% happy and cool about her hanging out with a group of guys without him? How would that affect her interaction with that group?[/quote]
Some of them were what one could call attractive, some weren't, some where probably somewhere in the middle but I never gave enough of a shit to really think about it. The ones that were attractive I never made any sort of advances towards because I never felt any real interest in having a relationship with them. As for whether or not I'd be ok with a girlfriend hanging out with a group of guys, honestly I probably wouldn't have any issue with it. If you're getting jealous because she's hanging around with males then it sounds like you have trust issues.
[quote]Can you? I don't believe that - well, I don't believe that you can look at a girl and on some level assess [I]whether[/I] you would - and again, this isn't necessarily conscious thought. At least I never haven't.[/QUOTE]
Yea a lot of this just sounds like you projecting some of your own issues or feelings. And even if you do look at someone and decide whether or not you'd have a relationship with them unless you have zero self-control those minor thoughts do not necessarily have to have any significant impact on your relationship.
You keep making it sound like people are purely defined and controlled by their subconscious impulses and are incapable of any sort of self-control.
[editline]17th November 2017[/editline]
Hell I'm not reminded of an incident with a co-worker I had. I was friendly with a female coworker and so another coworker started asking me when i was going to make a move on her and I only felt incredibly confused at the time because the idea of having a relationship with her never once crossed my mind. Even after he said something the prospect of a relationship with her wasn't even remotely of interest to me.
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Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts.
