Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[quote] You keep making it sound like people are purely defined and controlled by their subconscious impulses and are incapable of any sort of self-control.[/QUOTE] If nothing else, this conversation is helping me introspect - I do and have had issues, but not in the way you might think. The opposite, if anything. I'm more of the belief that the sort of self-control you speak of is unnecessary at best, or worse, self-limiting. Before you jump to the conclusion that I'm saying you should try and shag anything that moves whether or not you're attracted to them, consequences be damned, I'm not. What I am saying is that entertaining such thoughts will help you get in there when there's someone you really do want. It also helps you maintain a point of reference for how well you are able to pursue such goals. This can again be applied outside of sex and relationships. To quote Mattis (Or the TF2 sniper, whatever you fancy), "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.", ie have a plan achieve whatever you may want whether that be a relationship, a professional position, a one night stand or beating your high score at Snake. But this is tangential, time to get back on track (Ed: or not). Those subconscious impulses, in my experience, have been a lot more reliable than "rational" thought. In other words, trusting your gut feelings will inspire you to positive action more often and more effectively than thinking - critical thinking is best leveraged to inform that instinct, not override it. The more congruent your conscious thought with instinct, the more successful you will be. [quote]As for whether or not I'd be ok with a girlfriend hanging out with a group of guys, honestly I probably wouldn't have any issue with it. If you're getting jealous because she's hanging around with males then it sounds like you have trust issues.[/quote] Suuure. Well, not to say that trust issues aren't a thing - but I question your honesty. Trust should be earned, not given (THAT is a trust issue), and you can't guarantee in this hypothetical scenario that it would be earned. Rest of this post was gonna be a boatload of questions, but taking it to PMs

Dude literally everything about your stance is [QUOTE=Morbo!!!;52899492]something I've yet to witness or experience myself.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Morbo!!!;52899630]Both my best mates[/QUOTE] A) Anecdotal [QUOTE=Morbo!!!;52899688]Can you? I don't believe that[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Morbo!!!;52899822]Suuure.[/QUOTE] B) "I refuse to believe an opposing stance under any conditions" You come in with your anecdotal evidence, and when multiple people come in with opposing anecdotes, you go "nope, nuh-uh, that didn't happen, you're either lying or delusional"

honestly, i just feel bad for people that don't have any platonic relationships with members of the opposite sex because you're probably missing out on some great friendships

[QUOTE=Live2becool;52899561]What's everyone's opinion on asking someone out while they are working? I can't remember the amount of times I was immensely interested in someone at a coffee shop or store... but didn't say anything because they were currently working. I never see these people outside of their job, so I never get a chance to ask them out. What do you guys/gals do? Nothing too? I've always thought it to be something people preferred to not happen.[/QUOTE] I wouldn't if I were you. As someone who's been behind the counter before you have to understand that we're essentially paid to be nice and flirty with customers, but it's incredibly uncomfortable when the customers ask you out because there's really no where else for you to go. Especially if they're a regular you'll be seeing often.

If you’re seriously convinced that heterosexual people of opposing sexes can’t maintain a friendship without attraction being a factor, you really need to meet more people.

[QUOTE=Morbo!!!;52899822]If nothing else, this conversation is helping me introspect - I do and have had issues, but not in the way you might think. The opposite, if anything. I'm more of the belief that the sort of self-control you speak of is unnecessary at best, or worse, self-limiting. Before you jump to the conclusion that I'm saying you should try and shag anything that moves whether or not you're attracted to them, consequences be damned, I'm not. What I am saying is that entertaining such thoughts will help you get in there when there's someone you really do want. It also helps you maintain a point of reference for how well you are able to pursue such goals. This can again be applied outside of sex and relationships. To quote Mattis (Or the TF2 sniper, whatever you fancy), "Be polite, be professional, but have a plan to kill everybody you meet.", ie have a plan achieve whatever you may want whether that be a relationship, a professional position, a one night stand or beating your high score at Snake. But this is tangential, time to get back on track (Ed: or not). Those subconscious impulses, in my experience, have been a lot more reliable than "rational" thought. In other words, trusting your gut feelings will inspire you to positive action more often and more effectively than thinking - critical thinking is best leveraged to inform that instinct, not override it. The more congruent your conscious thought with instinct, the more successful you will be. Suuure. Well, not to say that trust issues aren't a thing - but I question your honesty. Trust should be earned, not given (THAT is a trust issue), and you can't guarantee in this hypothetical scenario that it would be earned. Rest of this post was gonna be a boatload of questions, but taking it to PMs[/QUOTE] wtf [editline]17th November 2017[/editline] honestly if this is genuinely how you view being just friends with girls , i don't think you should be speaking to them half of your posts read like some sort of parody im struggling to figure out if you're being serious

Was included in a thank you email across company. I joined company 2 months ago as software engineer and I was assigned to fix few bugs for certain app for hospital but as I started working on it - I realized it's initial design is way off which makes it extremely hard to work around and fix bugs so I proceeded to re-design entire app and re-done it fully. It passed all tests instantly, it was so stable - they requested another duplicate of app with slight modifications - so I did that too and it passed all tests without a single bug back. So they decided to proceed with including these two apps in release this month (which is usually not done as apps are still unstable to submit so soon) but they were kind of important, so apps got deployed on customers site and they went live (it's a milestone as apps get delivered in bathes every 8 months). So I got mentioned in company thank you email/announcement. I've never felt so happy, it feels really great and gives me a sense of accomplishment considering I am new to company (for reference - other person who started 2 months sooner than me - is still being mentored by senior staff) so it feels great, gives me great confidence and motivation to improve and work further. So there is that going for me, which is nice.

[QUOTE=Marzipas;52900225]wtf [editline]17th November 2017[/editline] honestly if this is genuinely how you view being just friends with girls , i don't think you should be speaking to them half of your posts read like some sort of parody im struggling to figure out if you're being serious[/QUOTE] Its like something out of the niceguys subreddit

[QUOTE=Live2becool;52899561]What's everyone's opinion on asking someone out while they are working? I can't remember the amount of times I was immensely interested in someone at a coffee shop or store... but didn't say anything because they were currently working. I never see these people outside of their job, so I never get a chance to ask them out. What do you guys/gals do? Nothing too? I've always thought it to be something people preferred to not happen.[/QUOTE] From every girl I've ever worked with: Do Not.

I don't think I articulated myself well enough to convey my point, I mean the posts I made are disjointed as fuck. But twist it whichever way you feel and make whatever assumptions about me you like. The short version is, of the friendships I've had with girls, few if any of them have been particularly lasting or meaningful compared to those with other men. I guess saying so must make me a complete sociopath, right

No, it just means that your experiences are not universal and there are plenty of people in existence who are fully capable of having adult relationships with other people of the opposite sex without romantic or sexual interest involved.

My friend from Alaska is coming by to my place in a few days. It's his first time in Canada and i don't really know where to show him around since Edmonton is a pretty boring place (for me at least). Any advice for me?

[QUOTE=Rummy.SM;52900344]My friend from Alaska is coming by to my place in a few days. It's his first time in Canada and i don't really know where to show him around since Edmonton is a pretty boring place (for me at least). Any advice for me?[/QUOTE] If you can take leave, go on a road trip or explore nearby areas, nature is great in Canada

[QUOTE=Ignhelper;52900351]If you can take leave, go on a road trip or explore nearby areas, nature is great in Canada[/QUOTE] Sadly that can't happen, I don't have a car. Heck aside from visiting some Countries I never really busted out of the Edmonton Bubble for about 11 years of my life and even then i lived in Montreal for long before then. I was thinking about showing him around West Edmonton Mall for a start.

[QUOTE=Rummy.SM;52900365]Sadly that can't happen, I don't have a car. Heck aside from visiting some Countries I never really busted out of the Edmonton Bubble for about 11 years of my life and even then i lived in Montreal for long before then. I was thinking about showing him around West Edmonton Mall for a start.[/QUOTE] How long is he staying? Why not rent a car? Or take the train?

[QUOTE=Morbo!!!;52900327]I don't think I articulated myself well enough to convey my point, I mean the posts I made are disjointed as fuck. But twist it whichever way you feel and make whatever assumptions about me you like. The short version is, of the friendships I've had with girls, few if any of them have been particularly lasting or meaningful compared to those with other men. I guess saying so must make me a complete sociopath, right[/QUOTE] I feel you morbo, u right bra. And you aren't a sociopath lol. It depends on how you grew up and stuff I bet. I have a good friend that's a girl and if it weren't for her having a boyfriend of many years things might have been very different. But I stuck around and it payed off. A platonic girl friend is somethin else. Tho I feel what ur sayin and ur absolutely correct

[QUOTE=Rummy.SM;52900344]My friend from Alaska is coming by to my place in a few days. It's his first time in Canada and i don't really know where to show him around since Edmonton is a pretty boring place (for me at least). Any advice for me?[/QUOTE] I've never been to Canada so I can't say for sure if you're right that you actually live in a boring city or not. But you should try thinking outside of the box; what is boring and the usual for you could be interesting to someone who's never been to Edmonton before. When you live for somewhere long enough, all the things that tourists find magical are the usual for you, or you're stuck in a routine that you forget how great parts of the city that you usually don't see can be. Just looking at the website for Edmonton, it looks like it could be one of those fun-to-visit cities, though. You guys have an armory, a few stadiums, outdoor ice skating rinks, a bunch of parks, a museum, a zoo. For someone not used to seeing all of that, I'm sure going around sight seeing will be a great time.

[QUOTE=Morbo!!!;52899492]To rephrase, I don't think a friendship (assuming heterosexuality - and I stress the word friendship as opposed to acquaintance or professional relationship) between a guy and a girl could ever function the same as a friendship between two men or two women. Again, there's going to be attraction from at least one party if not both. To reiterate, that's not to say it's strong enough either way to perceptibly mean anything, but in such cases I'd question how that friendship came to be in the first place; it'd be the exception that proves the rule in my eyes and something I've yet to witness or experience myself. Not that there's anything wrong with those exceptions. Reciprocation necessitates one party put something forward in the first place. It's the unconscious acknowledegment of the possibility of attraction, and subsequent assessment thereof. Any form of relationship you have with someone of your preferred sex is going to be formed in that context [B]How certain can you be that she's not attracted to you at any level beyond insignificant, or vice-versa? Is she conventionally attractive; are you? I'm only posting about this because it's healthy to challenge our beliefs, but I'd appreciate some greater context to take this as one for my own. [/B] That said, attractiveness plays into intersexual relationships beyond how the two interact directly with one another. Surround yourself with attractive people of the opposite/preferred sex and you can be perceived as more attractive, by others as well as yourself. It's incidental "wingman"ing. If this is directed to me, that's exactly what I'm saying. You might be attracted to them, that doesn't mean the opposite's going to be true. And you're in for a shit ride if your "strategy" is to make friends with a person you're attracted to (at least if they're the only person you're making an effort with, re: above). If love and lust are magical, you gotta be the magician. More people do than you may realise unconsciously or not, but I think I mistook what you said in the first place. If you want to avoid developing feelings for female friends, you're going to want those feelings fulfilled by someone else in the first place.[/QUOTE] because we literally discussed it one time in the car and we know that we're not sexually interested in each other or romantically interested in each other

[QUOTE=Kabstrac;52900448]Lol Edmonton gross. But yeah the mall is gonna be your best bet. And if you know any good restaurants and such bring him there.[/QUOTE] Yeah Edmonton is pretty gross. But a positive is that the stars glimmer a plenty lot. [QUOTE=Ignhelper;52900433]How long is he staying? Why not rent a car? Or take the train?[/QUOTE] Taking the Train to places. [QUOTE=BrandoJack;52900484]-long response-[/QUOTE] I mean one of the places I thought of going to was a Local Poutine store since I always obess about Poutine (It's my favorite meal) and I have considered taking him in for go-karting but I feel like I might be over-planning. Plus it's cold out right now so more outdoors places are a no go. [t]https://s3-media4.fl.yelpcdn.com/bphoto/Ak5ODrKHzVYa3a5ruNdw4Q/348s.jpg[/t]

I fucking hate when people play games with me and leave me emotionally in the dark like if you have a problem fucking tell me and lets fix it, i thought the petty shit was for kids

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;52900518]because we literally discussed it one time in the car and we know that we're not sexually interested in each other or romantically interested in each other[/QUOTE] I can corroborate this, my best friend of three years is a girl and we are definitely not each others types, I know for a fact neither of us are interested in each other romantically.

[QUOTE=Rhenae;52900304]From every girl I've ever worked with: Do Not.[/QUOTE] from the ones i've worked with though: depends if you're hot

I feel like I've gotten into this weird rut with a friend and I don't know what to do. She and I have been best friends for about 2-3 years now basically. We're really close, in fact I'm not sure I've ever been as close to anybody as I've been to her. It was a sexual relationship at one point too, which probably counts for something, but now she has a boyfriend (going on 1 year) and she and I are still friends. We don't see each other a lot, (around once a month these days) but we always hit one kind of emotional extreme or another every time we meet up. Like we will have the time of our lives doing pretty much anything, we make lots of jokes and she has told me I'm the only person who's ever been able to make her laugh so much that she literally pees herself a little. So, when we have a good day, we have a great day. But when we have a bad day, we have a miserable day. For a long time we've been comfortable enough to talk to each other about any kind of trouble we've gone through, or any heavy emotions we've felt, but I almost feel like we SHOULDN'T be that comfortable. Like being totally emotionally uninhibited with each other, in some weird way, just makes it harder on each other. I don't want to go into all the details just because this is already turning into a long-ass post, but she and I hung out tonight, and it turned into one of those heavy emotional days at the end, and when I got home she had texted me that she feels like she always ends up hurting me when we spend time together anymore, and she needs space and we should take a break, and really... I don't disagree. The same thoughts were going through my head on my own drive home. So I'm not sure what I need to ask here. Do you think it's possible to be TOO close to a friend? Is there anything we could be doing differently? Is this some NGE "hedgehog's dilemma" bullshit? Am I goddamn Shinji?

[QUOTE=Fire Kracker;52902405]from the ones i've worked with though: depends if you're hot[/QUOTE] Depending on the girl, that's a "Get Out Of Being A Creep Free" card.

I hate who I am, everything about myself, I strongly dislike being alive, and my most common thought is that I really wish I had been aborted. I'm very short, ugly, socially retarded, extremely poor, no hope of upward mobility because not only am I an idiot, I also hate everything and can't even think of anything I would want to pursue as a career (pretty much guaranteed to dislike any work I ever fall into because I'm lazy piece of shit and I'm only there for money, and I hate that I have to make money to live, so there's just no passion for anything whatsoever), I have few hobbies and I'm not good at any of them nor do I really enjoy them, I have fucked up teeth, I mean it just goes on and on. And I tell people all this but they tell me that in reality, none of that stuff matters, what really matters with women is being confident. So how am I supposed to develop any confidence when I hate everything about myself, don't want to be me, don't want to be any potential future version of me, don't like the idea of being alive, and I have generally nothing to look forward to in life? Basically I'm completely worthless and I have no idea where to start to try to build any self worth or confidence because there's nothing I should be confident about, and changing things about myself just leads to more failure because I still continue to hate everything about myself no matter how it might change. [editline]18th November 2017[/editline] I've deleted all of the women off of my Facebook also because all of them ignore me anyway, but I know they won't even notice I've unfriended them. I mean if I can't even get a response or sometimes can't even get a "seen" notification, they're probably not going to be looking to send me a message any time soon and notice we're not friends anymore. Which just sucks. I mean there's just no options for me besides this ugly fat girl that I really don't even like, not even remotely attracted to, but I keep her around and use her for company and sex because I'm lonely and sad so I take whatever I can get, plus I'm a shitty person. She deserves better. She should be with someone who likes her. Just like I should be too, rather than just both of us settling and being totally dissatisfied.

[QUOTE=J Paul;52902535]I hate who I am, everything about myself, I strongly dislike being alive, and my most common thought is that I really wish I had been aborted. I'm very short, ugly, socially retarded, extremely poor, no hope of upward mobility because not only am I an idiot, I also hate everything and can't even think of anything I would want to pursue as a career (pretty much guaranteed to dislike any work I ever fall into because I'm lazy piece of shit and I'm only there for money, and I hate that I have to make money to live, so there's just no passion for anything whatsoever), I have few hobbies and I'm not good at any of them nor do I really enjoy them, I have fucked up teeth, I mean it just goes on and on. And I tell people all this but they tell me that in reality, none of that stuff matters, what really matters with women is being confident. So how am I supposed to develop any confidence when I hate everything about myself, don't want to be me, don't want to be any potential future version of me, don't like the idea of being alive, and I have generally nothing to look forward to in life? Basically I'm completely worthless and I have no idea where to start to try to build any self worth or confidence because there's nothing I should be confident about, and changing things about myself just leads to more failure because I still continue to hate everything about myself no matter how it might change. [editline]18th November 2017[/editline] I've deleted all of the women off of my Facebook also because all of them ignore me anyway, but I know they won't even notice I've unfriended them. I mean if I can't even get a response or sometimes can't even get a "seen" notification, they're probably not going to be looking to send me a message any time soon and notice we're not friends anymore. Which just sucks. I mean there's just no options for me besides this ugly fat girl that I really don't even like, not even remotely attracted to, but I keep her around and use her for company and sex because I'm lonely and sad so I take whatever I can get, plus I'm a shitty person. She deserves better. She should be with someone who likes her. Just like I should be too, rather than just both of us settling and being totally dissatisfied.[/QUOTE] You are being pretty hard on yourself here buddy. I unfortunately don't have time to sit down and pick this apart with you (sorry :( )but safe to say, I recognise those thoughts and actually you're kind of spot on in your own thinking, in a very twisted way - you need to be happy with yourself first! The rest will follow.

[QUOTE=J Paul;52902535]I hate who I am, everything about myself, I strongly dislike being alive, and my most common thought is that I really wish I had been aborted. I'm very short, ugly, socially retarded, extremely poor, no hope of upward mobility because not only am I an idiot, I also hate everything and can't even think of anything I would want to pursue as a career (pretty much guaranteed to dislike any work I ever fall into because I'm lazy piece of shit and I'm only there for money, and I hate that I have to make money to live, so there's just no passion for anything whatsoever), I have few hobbies and I'm not good at any of them nor do I really enjoy them, I have fucked up teeth, I mean it just goes on and on. And I tell people all this but they tell me that in reality, none of that stuff matters, what really matters with women is being confident. So how am I supposed to develop any confidence when I hate everything about myself, don't want to be me, don't want to be any potential future version of me, don't like the idea of being alive, and I have generally nothing to look forward to in life? Basically I'm completely worthless and I have no idea where to start to try to build any self worth or confidence because there's nothing I should be confident about, and changing things about myself just leads to more failure because I still continue to hate everything about myself no matter how it might change. [editline]18th November 2017[/editline] I've deleted all of the women off of my Facebook also because all of them ignore me anyway, but I know they won't even notice I've unfriended them. I mean if I can't even get a response or sometimes can't even get a "seen" notification, they're probably not going to be looking to send me a message any time soon and notice we're not friends anymore. Which just sucks. I mean there's just no options for me besides this ugly fat girl that I really don't even like, not even remotely attracted to, but I keep her around and use her for company and sex because I'm lonely and sad so I take whatever I can get, plus I'm a shitty person. She deserves better. She should be with someone who likes her. Just like I should be too, rather than just both of us settling and being totally dissatisfied.[/QUOTE] Have you considered seeing someone about this? You seem to have a very negative and IMO wrong view of the world. I think you are correct in one thing though, it's pretty much hopeless to find any kind of lasting relationship with someone when you don't like yourself and I think that's where you have to start. You can move up just like so many people have done before you, just realize that it will be hard and take time. Cultivate gratitude and try to look at the world in a more positive light. I personally liked the exercise of writing down 5 things I'm grateful or proud of on a note and looking at it everyday when I had similar problems. Furthermore I think social media might be giving you a false sense of everything. People only show off their good sides on sites like FB so you subconsciously get the impression that everyone but you are perfect. You might actually be happier if you delete your social media accounts altogether. Also, start working out if you haven't already. If you need any guidance with training you can PM me. Might take a while for me to answer though, I have a shitload to do in school.

[QUOTE=maeZtro;52902595]Have you considered seeing someone about this? You seem to have a very negative and IMO wrong view of the world. I think you are correct in one thing though, it's pretty much hopeless to find any kind of lasting relationship with someone when you don't like yourself and I think that's where you have to start. You can move up just like so many people have done before you, just realize that it will be hard and take time. Cultivate gratitude and try to look at the world in a more positive light. I personally liked the exercise of writing down 5 things I'm grateful or proud of on a note and looking at it everyday when I had similar problems. Furthermore I think social media might be giving you a false sense of everything. People only show off their good sides on sites like FB so you subconsciously get the impression that everyone but you are perfect. You might actually be happier if you delete your social media accounts altogether. Also, start working out if you haven't already. If you need any guidance with training you can PM me. Might take a while for me to answer though, I have a shitload to do in school.[/QUOTE] I was seeing a therapist but I'm pretty sure he dumped me. He told me basically that I'll be better off just preparing to be alone and miserable my whole life because if it's meant to be, it will be, and if it isn't, it won't. Which means something good just might not ever happen so there's no reason to focus on it. Some people never find someone. And then he told me we should start trying to find an end point and then one more session after that was my last one. It made me really sad because he was like the only person I really looked forward to seeing even if it was only once a week for an hour and I had to pay for it. I wish I could think of five things. Hell just one would do. I can't think of anything without feeling negative emotion. I took a big five personality assessment, actually I did a bunch of them just to make sure, and on all of them, I scored like zero to one percent for all of the personality traits except for neuroticism/negative emotion, for which I scored nearly 100%. It's like all I have is negativity. Yeah I hate social media. I just hate being social in general. More often than not, even if it's real life, I just feel like I'm watching life from the sidelines and that it's never going to be good like that for me. I've tried working out a little bit but I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm very short anyway so it doesn't really help much. I can be the most jacked little ball of muscle but all a regular size guy needs to do is be kinda in shape and I can't compete. It just didn't feel like there was anything to be gained by it because I still didn't like myself and I never got to a point where I thought I was showing any improvement, and if there was any it didn't make me feel better. Like when people told me I was improving, it actually made me feel more self conscious. So I stopped. I just don't know that I'll ever be happy with myself because I'll always be me and I fundamentally don't like anything about myself.

[QUOTE=J Paul;52902613]Text[/QUOTE] That guy shouldn't be a therapist, that's just awful. Maybe try to find a new one. You can start with small stuff like I'm proud of my ability to express myself in text. You seem to be a pretty good writer to me. Or I'm grateful for X family member being around. Working out is not just about getting jacked even though it will help with women. Moderate intensity cardio has been shown to be as useful as anti-depressive medicine in making people happier. And you will get more energetic in just a few weeks. This will up your attractiveness and you will get more stuff done. Walking briskly and running in short intervals on a treadmill for 30 min just two times a week can have tremendous results. And you will have one more thing to be proud of. But if you are overweight or just starting out maybe just walking 30 min briskly everyday will have a big positive effect. If you can just get into a more positive mindset it can have a domino effect since people like to be around happy people with "good vibes". [editline]18th November 2017[/editline] Cardio also have positive effects on decisions making and in lay mans terms will make you a smarter and more eloquent guy over time.

[QUOTE=maeZtro;52902643]That guy shouldn't be a therapist, that's just awful. Maybe try to find a new one. You can start with small stuff like I'm proud of my ability to express myself in text. You seem to be a pretty good writer to me. Or I'm grateful for X family member being around. Working out is not just about getting jacked even though it will help with women. Moderate intensity cardio has been shown to be as useful as anti-depressive medicine in making people happier. And you will get more energetic in just a few weeks. This will up your attractiveness and you will get more stuff done. Walking briskly and running in short intervals on a treadmill for 30 min just two times a week can have tremendous results. And you will have one more thing to be proud of. But if you are overweight or just starting out maybe just walking 30 min briskly everyday will have a big positive effect. If you can just get into a more positive mindset it can have a domino effect since people like to be around happy people with "good vibes". [editline]18th November 2017[/editline] Cardio also have positive effects on decisions making and in lay mans terms will make you a smarter and more eloquent guy over time.[/QUOTE] Well I mean I can sprint for a mile straight, usually more. I'm super skinny, I'm not overweight. I can do pullups all day and I can run until long after everyone else is tired. But it's probably just because I have no mass to move so it's not really any work. I'm awful at expressing myself in text but hey I appreciate that you think I'm good at it, that's very nice. I'll never be properly educated because while I might put a bit of effort into a pity party like this, I'll never actually put any hard work and effort into something worthwhile that'll teach me a valid skill. That's just not like me. I've never been able to do that. I'm a high school dropout and my GPA when I exited was like 0.2 so yeah I'm never going to do anything with all this typing. It's as worthless as I am. And I wish my family wouldn't have existed. If my grandparents could have gotten an abortion or adopted out, I'm sure things would be better without us. I don't know how to be more positive. My entire day is filled with thoughts, and actual spoken utterances of things like "there's no reason for me to be alive", "I hate being alive", "I hate everything", "I hate being me", etc. And life is not that bad at all. I'm incredibly comfortable and live in a first world country where I can be this level of disaster and I still get to be warm and fed every night. If there were justice in the world, some hard working immigrants would be living here instead of me, they deserve it. My life is fucking amazing compared to a vast majority of human existence. Most people who have existed have had it much worse than me. Yet I really wish I had just been aborted.