Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[QUOTE=Sir Whoopsalot;51475487]What goes through someone's head to make them think that telling a girl she's real MILF material when she's older is going to get them laid?[/QUOTE] You're assuming something went through his head and stayed there.

So back in July my ex broke up with me. We go for a month without really talking to each other and then school started at the end of August and we hit it off again. We haven't been physically involved, but we're emotionally close and that's what is eating at me lately. Back then I asked why she didn't want to start "dating" and she said it was because I might potentially leave in a year because I don't want to stay in Ohio anymore after I graduate Fall 2017. That would crush her. We hangout throughout entire semester, calling and texting each other when we're not together. We share a lot of the same views, both make each other laugh, and are really good friends for each other. That's the problem though. Lately, I don't feel this anymore. Not because of the lack of physical, but because she drinks. And when she drinks, she tells me things she wouldn't sober like that she loves me. We go to her friend's wedding, she gets drunk, we dance, and she kisses me. I leave the venue a little while after to go back to my hotel room because I don't handle alcohol well. She comes into my room because I gave her a key. She starts crying to me about how she wishes wasn't so emotionally damaged. We lie there cuddling for the rest of the night. This is sort of the routine though, she talks about how I am different from all the other people she's dated or been friends with. I listen and I take care of her by reminding her that everything is going to be okay. She goes through a bottle of wine by herself in a little over 3 days. Her rum doesn't last as long. She's responsible with her money. She never over does drinking to the point of blackout and/or vomiting. She says she drinks to feel emotion and that her birth control she takes for her PMDD makes her feel nothing. When I asked her yesterday if she remembers kissing me or saying she loved me at the wedding she said she doesn't remember. I feel like her memory isn't that great either... she soberly said,"Oh yeah, you're from New York City, do you miss it?" I. uh. what. I've never been to NYC. And I explained that to her and she said," Oh my mistake. My memory is pretty garbage." We go out for dinner the other night and she says that we're sort of kind of dating, but that she doesn't want to do anything until she gets her medication right, perhaps an anti-anxiety/depressant drug for when her benefits kick in January at her technical writing co-op turned job. I like her, but it feels like I am being used as her emotional crutch. We originally broke up because she said the label of girlfriend stressed her out and I reminded her of that when she brought up that we could date again. "It will be different because I'll have the right medication." I keep telling her that maybe a therapist would be good too because she clearly needs more help than medication and myself can provide. I know I need to talk to her about what this is. I'm waiting until after finals are over next week. I feel like this isn't healthy for me, but I don't want her to not get better. What do I do?

So my long distance relationship is still very well up and running. We've been keeping the flame alive (I don't know how), and it's going to be almost a year that we're together. It's been tough not to be able to be with her everyday, specially during those months when we're extra swamped with work, but we're managing to stay together and every day is a blessing. We see each other at an average of two weekends a month (or more), and the "problem" is, she's going on Erasmus to Germany next year. Initially I was scared that it would be impossible for us to see each other, but then I checked and the plane trip is actually cheaper than what I already pay to meet her where she lives. The irony eh?

I hate shitty texters Got this girl's number and she seems really nice and into me in person but she's a really inconsistent texter, sometimes she'll reply in a few minutes, sometimes several hours. The record so far is 20, and I only got her number last Friday. I keep thinking that's a sign she's not interested, but the thing is, when she does respond, she sounds interested and engaged. She responded to one of my last texts at like 3:30 AM, if that means anything. Maybe I should stop reading so much into this? I'm not even into this girl yet, not even sure if I want to date her but these stupid little thing still bother me for some reason. I should really try harder to not care what other people think about me.

She's probably just bad at texting, like you said. If she still seems interested in actually talking despite not really being on-time with responses, then I wouldn't look too much into her going a while without replying. Maybe she has stuff to do. I'm bad at texting when I'm playing a game or watching something and then I just kind of forget to respond sometimes. It happens.

i suck at texting most of the time but i still really enjoy chatting with people through text people are busy a lot of the time. the fact that she is actually responding to you is pretty good, she at least enjoys conversing

i had that exact thing with someone lol, we were having a good chat, she seemed interested because she was always asking questions about me and wrote fairly long replies, then a week ago I responded to one such message and she's still not read it. I mean its a shame cuz I was enjoying talking to her but it is what it is. long delays don't bother me but i dont foresee another message from her in the future now tbh. it never felt like she was trying to wind down the conversation at all, i mean her last message had loads of questions that just came out of the blue. it feels a bit strange to be fair but guess she just wasn't fussed.

I hate people who are bad at texting like keep your phone next to you at a high volume and remember that there's another person on the other side writing you stuff

I'm terrible at texting people. Seems like text communication is easier for people I know exclusively online while face to face is easier for people I know in person. Feel like I've missed out on a lot of conversation because of that cause texting feels like a norm of our generation. [editline]5th December 2016[/editline] Like, trying to arrange things with bud feels strange through text.

Missing a text is fine, I do it all the time. I'll be nonstop messaging someone and then get distracted, have my phone on the desk on silent for hours and forget about it. But it sucks fat cock when you're on Messenger, you can actually SEE when the person sees your message. I've had people say "oh that's weird, I didn't actually see it" and that's bullshit. The chat only marks itself as read when you interact with the chatbox like clicking in it, or basically doing anything with it that makes the (1) on the header go away. It would be impossible to not see the message. Although I wouldn't put it past Facebook to glitch and make it look like it's been seen without them interacting with it, often the person has still been online inbetween the time you sent it and you confronting them. Are people not as much inclinded to make notifications go away as much as I am?

[QUOTE=Kabstrac;51482014]I don't mind bad texters, but I hate people who lie about not seeing them when you damn well know they're on their phone. Particularly when it's a pressing matter or your arranging something and need answers within a few minutes or even hours[/QUOTE] One of my closest friends is amazing to be around in person and a really sweet person, always cheers me up when I'm down etc, but he is a complete dick about texting. I refuse to believe that 80% of my texts to him "somehow got deleted by my phone" when he has managed to respond to all of the important things. [editline]5th December 2016[/editline] Also, he's (allegedly) in my D&D group, but I have run 4 sessions of my campaign so far and he has not shown up. We've started to joke about how one day he's gonna show up with his level 8 character when everyone else is level 20 and about to kill a god or something and we'll have to send him to the forest to fight boars for the next few weeks.

All my exes used to complain to me about how I'm super cold over text. I always told them they were exaggerating because I was such a sweet guy in person. Looking back I start remembering about how may times I responded with just a "yup" or a "ok" to huge carefully composed and meaningful texts because I was distracted doing something else and too dyslexic to even make sense of such huge walls of text. Well, they were right but fuck those hoes. My girlfriend kinda start doing the same with me in the beginning of the relationship and then telling me I was like that too, so it was kind of a karma hit for both of us, like watching ourselves in the mirror and getting slapped by a reflection that yelled "wake the fuck up". So now we're barely decent texters and keep an everyday window of conversation.

Right. So I've got this girl I want to talk to - classic situation with no idea how to approach it. I have her for one class, which I have the final sessions of tomorrow (Tuesday) and Thursday. Since I've been putting it off to the last minute, those are the last two times I know I'm going to see her and I want to see if I can at least put my foot in the door before we all go off for Winter break and I may not see her again. She sits across the room from me in the class I have her for, the path to my seat runs right past her. I almost never see her anywhere else, she seems to get to the class a little early and stays a little late to work on assignments, and she's always sitting by her friend from Saudi Arabia who I'm a little nervous to say anything in front of for some reason. She and I seem to have a fair bit in common, we both enjoy writing, we're both military brats, and we both seem shy as hell. I know most of this from a powerpoint we each had to give as an assignment at the beginning of the year, I was thinking of maybe using that as a conversation starter but I have no idea how to go about doing that. What do you think I should do here? How should I approach this, what should I say?

[QUOTE=racerfan;51484565]Right. So I've got this girl I want to talk to - classic situation with no idea how to approach it. I have her for one class, which I have the final sessions of tomorrow (Tuesday) and Thursday. Since I've been putting it off to the last minute, those are the last two times I know I'm going to see her and I want to see if I can at least put my foot in the door before we all go off for Winter break and I may not see her again. She sits across the room from me in the class I have her for, the path to my seat runs right past her. I almost never see her anywhere else, she seems to get to the class a little early and stays a little late to work on assignments, and she's always sitting by her friend from Saudi Arabia who I'm a little nervous to say anything in front of for some reason. She and I seem to have a fair bit in common, we both enjoy writing, we're both military brats, and we both seem shy as hell. I know most of this from a powerpoint we each had to give as an assignment at the beginning of the year, I was thinking of maybe using that as a conversation starter but I have no idea how to go about doing that. What do you think I should do here? How should I approach this, what should I say?[/QUOTE] I think you mentioning the powerpoint would come off as a bit creepy, since it was at the beginning of the year. Just go up to her, say hi, and start talking. Try to get her facebook, so you can text over the holiday?

[QUOTE=HumbleTH;51484753]I think you mentioning the powerpoint would come off as a bit creepy, since it was at the beginning of the year. Just go up to her, say hi, and start talking. Try to get her facebook, so you can text over the holiday?[/QUOTE] The issue here is "start talking". I have that same problem due to shyness. After you get the courage to present yourself and get her name, it's pretty much downhill from there - I'm awful about small talk. My first date was mainly talking about movies and series/tv shows, and video games, because she also played them and we had those in common. If she didn't have any of those i'd be pretty much screwed, but there were some awkward silence seconds here and there along the couple of hours. Oh and the bartender jumped in on our conversation once and said "oh cool, I watch that too." and my reaction was like "come one dude, really? I'm on a date here." just inner thought I never said that to him.

[QUOTE=racerfan;51484565]Right. So I've got this girl I want to talk to - classic situation with no idea how to approach it. I have her for one class, which I have the final sessions of tomorrow (Tuesday) and Thursday. Since I've been putting it off to the last minute, those are the last two times I know I'm going to see her and I want to see if I can at least put my foot in the door before we all go off for Winter break and I may not see her again. She sits across the room from me in the class I have her for, the path to my seat runs right past her. I almost never see her anywhere else, she seems to get to the class a little early and stays a little late to work on assignments, and she's always sitting by her friend from Saudi Arabia who I'm a little nervous to say anything in front of for some reason. She and I seem to have a fair bit in common, we both enjoy writing, we're both military brats, and we both seem shy as hell. I know most of this from a powerpoint we each had to give as an assignment at the beginning of the year, I was thinking of maybe using that as a conversation starter but I have no idea how to go about doing that. What do you think I should do here? How should I approach this, what should I say?[/QUOTE] To repeat the people above me- start talking. I was in a very similar situation where I was interested in a girl and was going back and forth over whether she liked me or it was worth me even trying - and I never made anything out of it, and the class we had together ended. Just last week I saw her in the student center and went over to talk to her, not expecting anything out of it- and I ended up with her number. Just try, it can't hurt.

[QUOTE=Dahaka32;51485471]The issue here is "start talking". I have that same problem due to shyness. After you get the courage to present yourself and get her name, it's pretty much downhill from there - I'm awful about small talk.[/QUOTE] True, how about you start by asking her what she's doing for the holidays? I have pretty much no experience with this though - same as above, being shy resulted in my only conversation starters being asking for homework and group work.

Alright so I posted earlier about how I was messaging someone last week, and throughout it all they seemed fairly happy to chat, they always inquired, asked new questions and it felt like they wanted to keep the conversation open, however I sent a message last week and it's still not been read. I do admit to feeling a bit bummed over that, and I'm not wanting to harass or overthink things at all, but I remember them telling me they had an exam this week, so d'you think it'd be weird if I messaged them hoping it went well on the day? Or should I just leave it. Keep in mind I only met her in person once at a party and spoke to her for a bit, but we'd been messaging for a good week or so after it. She was always slow to reply but I just put that down to her probs not using fb much because I know a lot of people who do that. halp im terrible at this

[QUOTE=Marzipas;51486867]Alright so I posted earlier about how I was messaging someone last week, and throughout it all they seemed fairly happy to chat, they always inquired, asked new questions and it felt like they wanted to keep the conversation open, however I sent a message last week and it's still not been read. I do admit to feeling a bit bummed over that, and I'm not wanting to harass or overthink things at all, but I remember them telling me they had an exam this week, so d'you think it'd be weird if I messaged them hoping it went well on the day? Or should I just leave it. Keep in mind I only met her in person once at a party and spoke to her for a bit, but we'd been messaging for a good week or so after it. She was always slow to reply but I just put that down to her probs not using fb much because I know a lot of people who do that. halp im terrible at this[/QUOTE] Yeah that's not a bad idea, so long as there's a few days between the messages. Bear in mind they may not be responding because they are busy studying!

anyone got tips on distancing yourself from your emotions about somebody you love so dearly, but have to let go because you feel like you're suffocating her with your feelings?

Had a coffee date planned for 10 AM this morning with someone I met on Tinder, I ended up fucking my alarm up and waking up at 11:30. She wasn't angry but she was upset; treating her to dinner on Friday as an apology/alternate date. :v:

Need advice. Started helping out in our university drama society. Noticed this one girl that posted regularly on the FB page. Naturally, I click her profile and think "she's pretty cute", she's also single. I think nothing of it, keep attending plays and helping backstage. Then on one of our show's opening nights, she's sitting in the front and I can see her through a gap in the curtains. At this point, I get smitten. At the interval, I walk out to the bathroom and in the hallway she is walking back towards the hall. I hold the door open for her, she says thanks, I say you're welcome, then spend the rest of the walk thinking "Damn, she's absolutely gorgeous". What I wanna ask you guys is: one of her close girl friends is a pretty chummy friend of mine, though I've only known her for a couple of weeks. Would it be hugely childish / a turn-off if I were to ask her friend about this girl I'm really into? She doesn't really take part in many of the stuff in uni atm because she's not acting in any of the plays. It makes bumping into her really difficult, so I thought I'd raise it with her friend and hope she picks up on the fact I'm attracted to her friend. But then I worry this might come across as immature. If she was a backstage helper like I was, it'd be really easy to get to know her and strike up a conversation, but she mainly acts in plays and she hasn't chosen to act in any of these semester's plays. As it stands, I don't have many opportunities where I can bump into her. We've got an afterparty coming up this week where all the actors and stagehands will be going, but I've no idea if she'll be there. I kinda wanna get the chance to meet her before we break up for holidays in the hopes that I can do stuff over Christmas to get to know her better, but at this point I'm feeling pretty pessimistic. I've held back from talking to her friend about it because I just feel it'd be a really immature thing to do (like highschool days where you'd tell your crushes best friend about your crush, knowing damn well it'd get back to your crush), but I'm sorta stuck as it is. If I had it my way, I'd say hi to her in person, but I legitimately don't see her around uni. [editline]7th December 2016[/editline] I mean I could just throw her an add on FB but 1) I hate adding people I haven't actually introduced myself to IRL and 2) it'd be hella weird On the topic of the Drama society, it's great. But a lot of the single guys are being passive-aggressive. I don't think they like me upsetting the balance. The guys who are in relationships are awesome, and drama people in general are a great bunch of people. There's this one fat guy who doesn't wash and for the longest time I thought it was the old and dusty props that smelled bad, but it's just him. He flirts with all the girls and they get on well with him, but he creepily stares at their asses when they aren't looking. I caught him the other night rolling his eyes at me, making it out to our tech director like I was fucking shit up, even though I wasn't. He also has a bad habit of shunning me from helping out backstage by taking the props I'm meant to take out on stage so I'm left there twiddling my thumbs. I can't really do much about it cause he's been there for a solid few years and I've only been there a few weeks. We carried a prop out on stage together as the show was in progress, and he purposefully didn't give me a heads up when I was gonna bump into stuff and actors (I was walking backwards and couldn't see shit as it was during a blackout). It really annoyed me, and then I got told to watch where I'm going, even though I couldn't help it. I told him next time we carry things on together, to make sure he doesn't push as hard as he was and to give me heads up if there are stuff in the way. Shit sucks, yo.

[QUOTE=austin0331;51482138]Missing a text is fine, I do it all the time. I'll be nonstop messaging someone and then get distracted, have my phone on the desk on silent for hours and forget about it. But it sucks fat cock when you're on Messenger, you can actually SEE when the person sees your message. I've had people say "oh that's weird, I didn't actually see it" and that's bullshit. The chat only marks itself as read when you interact with the chatbox like clicking in it, or basically doing anything with it that makes the (1) on the header go away. It would be impossible to not see the message. Although I wouldn't put it past Facebook to glitch and make it look like it's been seen without them interacting with it, often the person has still been online inbetween the time you sent it and you confronting them. Are people not as much inclinded to make notifications go away as much as I am?[/QUOTE] Similar deposition with texting. Makes it even worse when the people you chat with on FB and IRL are only in one spot on campus and meeting them is a chance once in a blue moon. I'm chatting with people and this one person I met who doesn't go to the same college is a day away via public transportation. I'm gonna try and meet them over the weekend at this hang out and see where this goes.

Speaking of texting, I was sitting with a friend in a silent study room, sitting maybe 6 feet away from them. We were trying to talk through texts. It's interesting to see how long it actually can take for a text to go through. There were a few that took a minute or two, and she sent me one that has yet to actually make it to me. She handed me her phone, and showed it to me instead. Idk if it's in the texting purgatory somewhere, or what. We switched to FB messenger but soon found good old pen, paper, and charades worked the best. I try not to expect a quick reply from the first text. And give people the benefit of the doubt when I don't get reply's for awhile.

[QUOTE=OvB;51496209]Speaking of texting, I was sitting with a friend in a silent study room, sitting maybe 6 feet away from them. We were trying to talk through texts. It's interesting to see how long it actually can take for a text to go through. There were a few that took a minute or two, and she sent me one that has yet to actually make it to me. She handed me her phone, and showed it to me instead. Idk if it's in the texting purgatory somewhere, or what. We switched to FB messenger but soon found good old pen, paper, and charades worked the best. I try not to expect a quick reply from the first text. And give people the benefit of the doubt when I don't get reply's for awhile.[/QUOTE] That's probably more to do with bad phone signal seeing as you were both sitting in a silent study room (in what I assume is a library). My phone reception is shit when I'm in the uni.

[QUOTE=loopoo;51497068]That's probably more to do with bad phone signal seeing as you were both sitting in a silent study room (in what I assume is a library). My phone reception is shit when I'm in the uni.[/QUOTE] That's kinda what I mean. In a normal situation you don't know where your friend might be. They might be in the library, they might be in that super old campus building made of stone, or they might be in a bomb shelter. There's a handful of totally legit reasons for a person to not contact you back. Especially when you're both at a Uni which ironically always seems to have shitty reception.

Sometimes I feel like I'm living in a bad movie lol. My friend is a huge ladies man and has recently decided he actually likes and I guess wants to go steady with some chick who I happen to get on really well with. Every time we meet up she seems very flirty and acts more excited about me being there than him. Out of respect for my friend I'm obviously not going after her but.. If it weren't for the fact that he apparently has a thing for her, I'd be on it in a heartbeat. Shit really sucks man! [editline]8th December 2016[/editline] In a way it's annoying largely because he's still going after other chicks simultaneously, but he's expressed that he "actually likes" this girl. It's like, if you're going to actually start dating this chick then fine, but I feel like otherwise it should be fair game. I can't tell if I'm being a shit friend or overly accommodating.

[QUOTE=racerfan;51484565]Right. So I've got this girl I want to talk to - classic situation with no idea how to approach it.[/QUOTE] I've learned a little more about this girl from a project we each had to do on Tuesday...apparently she's four years older than I thought she was, and by extension four years older than me. I'd heard a rumor that she's already dating someone, which in that case is more than likely true then. I still want to try to become friends with her however, and I'm going to try to say something to her today like you all said. I'm terrible at small talk however, and I'm stuck trying to think of things I could talk to her about. I found out she has a childhood dream of running a specialty bookstore or something like that, which I was planning to start off a conversation with her by asking about that. I've been trying to think of what questions I could ask her about it, however the only thing I've been able to think of so far is asking how she came up with the idea for it. What else do you think I ask? If I can get a couple of questions in to start with I could probably bullshit my way into a full conversation. Another thing, I don't want to lose touch with her after the break, how should I go about asking her for something I can keep contact with her on? I think asking for her number might come off wrong if this is the first time I'm talking to her all semester, maybe I could ask for her snapchat?

Just gonna post the obvious here: It really sucks when your boss is insanely attractive.

Man; my recent ex that I still live with (but hopefully not by the end of this month) is really obviously into this guy that her ex husband has been bringing to our apartment to chill (her ex husband comes over sometimes to watch my ex's son or just chill) and I am so not over her despite knowing that we most likely will never work with eachother relationship wise. My ex even treated me in a way for the last month that I really shouldn't feel in love with her anymore.. but I do. The worst part is I actually find the guy she likes really cool and would want to be his friend, so that fucks with me the most. I just have to be mature and let her be happy don't I? Cause it seems like interfering and trying to "prove my love" to her is just gonna push her away farther. I just wanna stop caring. Guess I won't be able to till she leaves my apartment.