Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

that depends on how close of friends/acquaintances you are with this person, i would think next time you're talking to them just be like "damn she's cute af give her my number so i can suck on her toes" and see where that gets you

posted this shit a while back [quote]you guys got tips or advice on how to break it off with my best friend? i never thought id say this lol i know it wont be clean, but id rather something get done rather than nothing ive had bad vibes from him starting last year and im finally seeing how manipulative and fake he really is. now after a few months it has became really bad and more obvious than ever. The disrespect towards me, how different he acts around other people compared to just me, the small lies and the manipulative emotional tactics he uses. Ive seen him pull it off on many people and they never see through it. he keeps fucking with freshman girls and never stops. he keeps fucking with this one girl that used to like him. he didnt like her back, but had the idea to message her and make her like him again, only for my friend to say fucked up shit again, then she hates him, blocks him from FB, and repeat. like 3 times now. we were going to hang out with someone weve not talked to in a while. his way of fitting in is ignoring me the whole time and treating me like the third wheel. whenever id try to get a word out id get a insult back or no response and get ignored. ive been there for him many times only to be treated with plain disrespect and shit. nigga says hes there for me but feels like he never is and guilt trips me for small little things hes done for me in the past. small things. unfortunately im in a tough position right now. im fresh out of high school and looking for work and he keeps wanting to hangout with me. ive started to dread it every time but still say yes hoping for something to change. definition of fucking insanity. i want to tell all of this to him but i dont have the guts to do it yet. me writing this here will help me remember what to say as well wow, rereading this really makes me realize how bad he really is lmao which is why im asking for advice here, then ill drop all of this onto him when i get the good chance, aka having a job/stable income for a year and maybe try to get into a community college afterwards. i feel much better getting this off my chest Edit: theres much more about him than listed here but i havent bothered elaborating that much[/quote] im considering it said he change but what the fuck kind of person asks me to chill and proceeds to talk to other people on the phone right in front of me for hours and does shit he knows i dont enjoy. im in the fucking room with you and you cant even find time to talk with me. i literally have no fun when hanging out with this dude anymore and its always me thats mad when i bring up these small problems and quips of disrespect and not him. it should have been a red flag when he was trying to get jealousy out of me. nigga dont "respect me" he uses me and moves on which is just a good way of saying that im getting left behind

[QUOTE=sourcegamer101;51224365]posted this shit a while back im considering it said he change but what the fuck kind of person asks me to chill and proceeds to talk to other people on the phone right in front of me for hours and does shit he knows i dont enjoy. im in the fucking room with you and you cant even find time to talk with me. i literally have no fun when hanging out with this dude anymore and its always me thats mad when i bring up these small problems and quips of disrespect and not him. it should have been a red flag when he was trying to get jealousy out of me. nigga dont "respect me" he uses me and moves on which is just a good way of saying that im getting left behind[/QUOTE] Guy sounds like an asshole. Ditch him fast

[QUOTE=killerteacup;51224445]Guy sounds like an asshole. Ditch him fast[/QUOTE] i really have no excuse at this point, my only problem with doing so is the loose ends and connections with other friends ive built up over the years. i can either tough it out till im out of school and get a good job or do it now with messy consequences

[QUOTE=sourcegamer101;51224508]i really have no excuse at this point, my only problem with doing so is the loose ends and connections with other friends ive built up over the years. i can either tough it out till im out of school and get a good job or do it now with messy consequences[/QUOTE] You might talk to those mutual friends about it first, they might think he's as much of an asshole as you do.

[QUOTE=killerteacup;51220745]Yeah it hurts. You care about her. But trust your gut. If you think you can make it work go for it, but take my advice and don't make a decision tonight. Have some breathing space to clear your head and try and think rationally about it.[/QUOTE] i thought about it and realised i was a fool. i havent been treating her right but i still love her very much and she still loves me very much. its my fault for letting it get this way so i drove out to see her to tell her i love her and that im going to work harder on our relationship because i wasnt putting a whole lot of effort in before. i feel like this whole ordeal strengthened our relationship and i had a taste of what its like without her and i didnt like it. so tldr: all g, im gonna work harder and i'm extremely happy now, depression has blown away.

also thanks to everyone for the advice. i was sitting at my mates workplace waiting for him to finish so i could take him home and affirmation by savage garden came on the radio, then i stopped stressing and knew what i wanted to do.

[QUOTE=Pat.Lithium;51225948]also thanks to everyone for the advice. i was sitting at my mates workplace waiting for him to finish so i could take him home and affirmation by savage garden came on the radio, then i stopped stressing and knew what i wanted to do.[/QUOTE] never a more australian sentence

So that coffee date that this girl in my class asked me out to actually went pretty ok. It lasted around 5 hours and we basically walked around the campus just talking and exploring around the park. At the end she said she enjoyed it and said we should do it again, and also invited me to this thing that the city does called Fort Fright, which is like a haunted house kinda thing that this historic site does every Halloween with her and her friends. Though that was on Friday, and I messaged her on Saturday saying I had a good time and agreed that we should do it again aswell, it says she's seen it but hasn't responded. The past 3 days in class she hasn't approached me at all either. Should I approach her and ask her if she's changed her mind or how she felt it went? I'm getting these vibes from her like she's trying to avoid me or something but I'm not too sure.

If she hasn't messaged back and hasn't approached you, it's likely that she might have changed her mind about being interested. There's a chance that she's just forgetful or has other things going on, but it's not worth badgering her about it.

Should I not at least try once? Especially since she was the one who asked me? I just don't want things to be awkward in class. I was thinking of just asking her how she's doing and if she's changed her mind about me, but that doesn't sound right. She took a chance and tried seeing how I was like, but I feel like I should at least get confirmation, right? Instead of ignoring me? I don't want to come off assertive and I wanna do it in person since I've learned my lesson about double texting. If any of that sounds ignorant or selfish, I'm sorry. I'm just new to this whole scene. I don't know how these things are supposed to work and that's why I'm here.

It's not ignorant or selfish. Figuring out proper social etiquette for these things is sometimes hard for some people. I'd say, personally, that having someone confront me about that sort of thing in person is definitely not a comfortable situation. It's difficult to have an "out" in that case. And it's easy to feel a little obligated to talk to a person when I might not necessarily want to. At the very least, you could text her ONCE, letting her know to let you know if she still wants to hang out. If she gets back to you, then great, if she doesn't, then it's likely she changed her mind. All girls are different, but like I said, for me personally? I would rather deal with something like that through text because in person it can get a little uncomfortable.

Alright, cool. Thanks for your advice. I think I will text her back and let her know to let me know if she wants to do it again, but I'll wait a couple more days just in case she decides to approach me in class. She should've just followed the "don't shit where you eat" mentality. Seeing her every day and working in groups are gonna be a little more awkward than they used to if she decides to not respond. I'm totally content just being friends. I just hate having to assume everything, as a guy. I like being told upfront if something works or not.

[QUOTE=austin0331;51226764]Alright, cool. Thanks for your advice. I think I will text her back and let her know to let me know if she wants to do it again, but I'll wait a couple more days just in case she decides to approach me in class. She should've just followed the "don't shit where you eat" mentality. Seeing her every day and working in groups are gonna be a little more awkward than they used to if she decides to not respond. I'm totally content just being friends. I just hate having to assume everything, as a guy. I like being told upfront if something works or not.[/QUOTE] Nonono Ignore her for now. If she really wanted to have anything to do with you she'll contact you herself. Then act all normal like it's nothing. If not then fuck it, just leave her. Remember you're the man. You don't wag your tail; they wag theirs.

well now im conflicted [QUOTE=hakimhakim;51226842]Remember you're the man. You don't wag your tail; they wag theirs.[/QUOTE] Really? Why can't it be both ways? Girls can oggle over guys and guys can oggle over girls. I see no reason to not show any interest back. That seems like it would be dick-ish, as if the date meant nothing to me.

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51226842]Nonono Ignore her for now. If she really wanted to have anything to do with you she'll contact you herself. Then act all normal like it's nothing. If not then fuck it, just leave her. Remember you're the man. You don't wag your tail; they wag theirs.[/QUOTE] Women and men both have different standards and practices for how they like to handle relationships and interactions surrounding them. Neither should be tied down to an arbitrary role just because someone says they should.

[QUOTE=austin0331;51226853]well now im conflicted Really? Why can't it be both ways? Girls can oggle over guys and guys can oggle over girls. I see no reason to not show any interest back. That seems like it would be dick-ish, as if the date meant nothing to me.[/QUOTE] Let's just say that if you're one of my friend, I would want to see you as a sort of 'independent' man. I had a friend who has been led around by a girl whose not really interested, and it did not end well. You already showed your interest during the walk. It's a lie if she can't see that. If she hadn't shown special kind of interest after that, then you should not too (even though you actually are). Otherwise you could came across as creepy, or it will be awkward later. Just talk normally if you just happened to came across her outside. Tell her that the last time was nice, and if she's up to it you guys can go out together again to do something incidental that occurs at that time, such as new movies coming out.

So my GF just dumped me.. Don't know why I'm posting here but I guess I just need to vent a bit... She was here over the summer where we met, and we agreed to keep to a long distance relationship while she was gone, we really felt we loved each other, shit I still do. But after a month that she was away she changed, saying she doesn't know what she feels for me anymore, being really defensive and stuff. So a few days ago she told me she wants me, but wants me to be beside her always, and she would rather be single than have someone miles away that she can't touch. Seeing other couples made her sad and stuff like that. Over our relationship I bought her a lot of shit, new iphone, camera, flowers, sent her a little bit of money and shit like that and while she loved them, she started to feel trapped in the relationship. I told her that I'm not going to message her and to think about what she really wants because at the end of the day I just want her to be happy, later in the day she gave me a bunch of typical excuses like "You deserve someone more mature, who will be able to truly love you and care for you" and removed the facebook relationship and all of the pictures of us together. Yesterday her mother and sister found out and took my side, getting angry at her for doing that, and accepting gifts if she wasn't going to commit to it. Later on she messaged me and appologised saying she wants to be together again, I forgave her but I saw right away that was all just a facade, she said things like "I must be with you" and "Everything is always going to be okay from now on" and "I'm really happy, because you're happy and everyone around us is happy" and shit like that. She basically did it not to look bad in front of her friends and family. Today I told her I'm not buying it and I know something is still wrong and I want to make it okay, whatever I have to do. She went away for a while and this is our last conversation more or less: "Forgive me. I smoked weed" - Her "What??" (Worth noting she forbid me from ever smoking weed again after we got into a relationship) "My classmates offered some, I didn't decline" ":/" "I feel awful. Smoked 3 times this week. My head is wrecked from the stress" "At least you're saying the truth now" "I want to be alone for a while, I'm telling you. And I don't want you to stress" "I just don't want you to feel bad... I'll not bother you" "See this is why I have a headache. You whine all the time and try to suck up to me, it's fucking annoying me" "*Thumbs up emoji*" "You are being too cute with me. I'm bored of you running after me all the time. You have to tell me things as they are. I don't want your empathy. You're too nice with me. I want to be hurt and so on because that's what I'm used to. Understand, I'm crying day after day because I want to be alone for a while. I'm sick of everything. I can't explain it, but I feel like shit" "*Crying laughing emoji* Okay then. Bye" "Thanks for understanding" "I don't understand a thing, but I'm also fed up trying so hard for you. "Ok" "Go cry, smoke your fucking weed" "I will, bye" "I'm not gonna run after you no more, not going to message you. That's all I wanted to hear, I feel better now than when you were bullshitting about feeling great. You can be alone all you want ;) Or look for new company, I don't give a shit." And that's it, she removed me from friends too. Normally I wouldn't be as harsh, but I thought hey, you want me to be a piece of shit, I will. Not proud of it but I'm fucking sick of the "you're too nice for me" bullshit. Truth be told all I'm waiting for now is for her to message me and apologise, and hell I'd probably still forgive her, I still love her, in fact she's the first girl I fell for, I never truly cared that much for my past girlfriends, but with her is different. I feel fucking awful now, she pulled me out of weed and depression and it's probably just a matter of the time before I'm back down that rabbithole again. I guess love truly does make you do stupid things...

If you acted like that towards her it's pretty likely that what you feel is not "love" at all

[QUOTE=Buck.;51227156]So my GF just dumped me.. Don't know why I'm posting here but I guess I just need to vent a bit... She was here over the summer where we met, and we agreed to keep to a long distance relationship while she was gone, we really felt we loved each other, shit I still do. But after a month that she was away she changed, saying she doesn't know what she feels for me anymore, being really defensive and stuff. So a few days ago she told me she wants me, but wants me to be beside her always, and she would rather be single than have someone miles away that she can't touch. Seeing other couples made her sad and stuff like that. Over our relationship I bought her a lot of shit, new iphone, camera, flowers, sent her a little bit of money and shit like that and while she loved them, she started to feel trapped in the relationship. I told her that I'm not going to message her and to think about what she really wants because at the end of the day I just want her to be happy, later in the day she gave me a bunch of typical excuses like "You deserve someone more mature, who will be able to truly love you and care for you" and removed the facebook relationship and all of the pictures of us together. Yesterday her mother and sister found out and took my side, getting angry at her for doing that, and accepting gifts if she wasn't going to commit to it. Later on she messaged me and appologised saying she wants to be together again, I forgave her but I saw right away that was all just a facade, she said things like "I must be with you" and "Everything is always going to be okay from now on" and "I'm really happy, because you're happy and everyone around us is happy" and shit like that. She basically did it not to look bad in front of her friends and family. Today I told her I'm not buying it and I know something is still wrong and I want to make it okay, whatever I have to do. She went away for a while and this is our last conversation more or less: "Forgive me. I smoked weed" - Her "What??" (Worth noting she forbid me from ever smoking weed again after we got into a relationship) "My classmates offered some, I didn't decline" ":/" "I feel awful. Smoked 3 times this week. My head is wrecked from the stress" "At least you're saying the truth now" "I want to be alone for a while, I'm telling you. And I don't want you to stress" "I just don't want you to feel bad... I'll not bother you" "See this is why I have a headache. You whine all the time and try to suck up to me, it's fucking annoying me" "*Thumbs up emoji*" "You are being too cute with me. I'm bored of you running after me all the time. You have to tell me things as they are. I don't want your empathy. You're too nice with me. I want to be hurt and so on because that's what I'm used to. Understand, I'm crying day after day because I want to be alone for a while. I'm sick of everything. I can't explain it, but I feel like shit" "*Crying laughing emoji* Okay then. Bye" "Thanks for understanding" "I don't understand a thing, but I'm also fed up trying so hard for you. "Ok" "Go cry, smoke your fucking weed" "I will, bye" "I'm not gonna run after you no more, not going to message you. That's all I wanted to hear, I feel better now than when you were bullshitting about feeling great. You can be alone all you want ;) Or look for new company, I don't give a shit." And that's it, she removed me from friends too. Normally I wouldn't be as harsh, but I thought hey, you want me to be a piece of shit, I will. Not proud of it but I'm fucking sick of the "you're too nice for me" bullshit. Truth be told all I'm waiting for now is for her to message me and apologise, and hell I'd probably still forgive her, I still love her, in fact she's the first girl I fell for, I never truly cared that much for my past girlfriends, but with her is different. I feel fucking awful now, she pulled me out of weed and depression and it's probably just a matter of the time before I'm back down that rabbithole again. I guess love truly does make you do stupid things...[/QUOTE] How would you know her parents and sister feel that way if it's long distance?

[QUOTE=austin0331;51226764]Alright, cool. Thanks for your advice. I think I will text her back and let her know to let me know if she wants to do it again, but I'll wait a couple more days just in case she decides to approach me in class. She should've just followed the "don't shit where you eat" mentality. Seeing her every day and working in groups are gonna be a little more awkward than they used to if she decides to not respond. I'm totally content just being friends. I just hate having to assume everything, as a guy. I like being told upfront if something works or not.[/QUOTE] If I'm understanding correctly, you still haven't gone to the Fort Fright thing? If so, asking her if she's still up for it would work.

[QUOTE=Buck.;51227156]wall[/QUOTE] you made the right choice, don't worry. she was stringing you along with melodrama, not worth it at all. if you think smoking weed is negatively impacting your life you really should do away with it for your own sake, not for anyone else's, also. now stay true to what you said and do not talk to her; it's clear you're not meant to be so you need to drop it. there'll never be any real closure, but time will make it very abundant that you'll have made the right decision.

[QUOTE=plunger435;51227849]How would you know her parents and sister feel that way if it's long distance?[/QUOTE] Because I talked to her sister.

[QUOTE=Buck.;51227156]So my GF just dumped me.. Don't know why I'm posting here but I guess I just need to vent a bit... She was here over the summer where we met, and we agreed to keep to a long distance relationship while she was gone, we really felt we loved each other, shit I still do. But after a month that she was away she changed, saying she doesn't know what she feels for me anymore, being really defensive and stuff. So a few days ago she told me she wants me, but wants me to be beside her always, and she would rather be single than have someone miles away that she can't touch. Seeing other couples made her sad and stuff like that. Over our relationship I bought her a lot of shit, new iphone, camera, flowers, sent her a little bit of money and shit like that and while she loved them, she started to feel trapped in the relationship. I told her that I'm not going to message her and to think about what she really wants because at the end of the day I just want her to be happy, later in the day she gave me a bunch of typical excuses like "You deserve someone more mature, who will be able to truly love you and care for you" and removed the facebook relationship and all of the pictures of us together. Yesterday her mother and sister found out and took my side, getting angry at her for doing that, and accepting gifts if she wasn't going to commit to it. Later on she messaged me and appologised saying she wants to be together again, I forgave her but I saw right away that was all just a facade, she said things like "I must be with you" and "Everything is always going to be okay from now on" and "I'm really happy, because you're happy and everyone around us is happy" and shit like that. She basically did it not to look bad in front of her friends and family. Today I told her I'm not buying it and I know something is still wrong and I want to make it okay, whatever I have to do. She went away for a while and this is our last conversation more or less: "Forgive me. I smoked weed" - Her "What??" (Worth noting she forbid me from ever smoking weed again after we got into a relationship) "My classmates offered some, I didn't decline" ":/" "I feel awful. Smoked 3 times this week. My head is wrecked from the stress" "At least you're saying the truth now" "I want to be alone for a while, I'm telling you. And I don't want you to stress" "I just don't want you to feel bad... I'll not bother you" "See this is why I have a headache. You whine all the time and try to suck up to me, it's fucking annoying me" "*Thumbs up emoji*" "You are being too cute with me. I'm bored of you running after me all the time. You have to tell me things as they are. I don't want your empathy. You're too nice with me. I want to be hurt and so on because that's what I'm used to. Understand, I'm crying day after day because I want to be alone for a while. I'm sick of everything. I can't explain it, but I feel like shit" "*Crying laughing emoji* Okay then. Bye" "Thanks for understanding" "I don't understand a thing, but I'm also fed up trying so hard for you. "Ok" "Go cry, smoke your fucking weed" "I will, bye" "I'm not gonna run after you no more, not going to message you. That's all I wanted to hear, I feel better now than when you were bullshitting about feeling great. You can be alone all you want ;) Or look for new company, I don't give a shit." And that's it, she removed me from friends too. Normally I wouldn't be as harsh, but I thought hey, you want me to be a piece of shit, I will. Not proud of it but I'm fucking sick of the "you're too nice for me" bullshit. Truth be told all I'm waiting for now is for her to message me and apologise, and hell I'd probably still forgive her, I still love her, in fact she's the first girl I fell for, I never truly cared that much for my past girlfriends, but with her is different. I feel fucking awful now, she pulled me out of weed and depression and it's probably just a matter of the time before I'm back down that rabbithole again. I guess love truly does make you do stupid things...[/QUOTE] This sounds a little childish on both ends. The passive aggressive chatlog was a little bit much for my tastes, and plus who lets their partner "forbid" them from smoking weed? It sounds like this is all for the best because you two don't sound even remotely in love from what you've described here. [editline]19th October 2016[/editline] Like, sitting around waiting for her to apologize and get back together is just stupid, and acting like it's inevitable for you to become a depressed pothead without her is also stupid and melodramatic. Sounds like you had a mediocre long distance relationship that you thought was amazing because it was better than being alone. You should just get on with your life and be happy that you managed to improve yourself in the process.

A little harshly put but tbh I sort of agree. You both seem a little immature for a long distance relationship to work appropriately. It's better if you're apart, from an outside perspective.

[QUOTE=HumbleTH;51227990]If I'm understanding correctly, you still haven't gone to the Fort Fright thing? If so, asking her if she's still up for it would work.[/QUOTE] I wouldn't want to ask that because if she doesn't want me to go anymore, I don't want to put her through the stress of trying to find a way to un-invite me. I've been thinking of simply saying "hey, if you're still interested and want to hang out again sometime you can just let me know. I won't be upset if you don't" still not sure about the 2nd part of that but I feel that's the best thing to say without trying to be accusing her of ignoring me or implying anything. I want a response more than anything, not just to see her again.

[QUOTE=austin0331;51228767]I wouldn't want to ask that because if she doesn't want me to go anymore, I don't want to put her through the stress of trying to find a way to un-invite me. I've been thinking of simply saying "hey, if you're still interested and want to hang out again sometime you can just let me know. I won't be upset if you don't" still not sure about the 2nd part of that but I feel that's the best thing to say without trying to be accusing her of ignoring me or implying anything. I want a response more than anything, not just to see her again.[/QUOTE] I think talking to her in person and asking what's up will probably give you the clarification you need, since she's less likely to go ghost on you then.

[QUOTE=austin0331;51228767]I wouldn't want to ask that because if she doesn't want me to go anymore, I don't want to put her through the stress of trying to find a way to un-invite me. I've been thinking of simply saying "hey, if you're still interested and want to hang out again sometime you can just let me know. I won't be upset if you don't" still not sure about the 2nd part of that but I feel that's the best thing to say without trying to be accusing her of ignoring me or implying anything. I want a response more than anything, not just to see her again.[/QUOTE] It sounds like you're getting really really wrapped up in this, so let me see if I have the story straight. You two spent time together a few days ago She invited you to an event at a near-future time You messaged her not long after, saying it would be fun to hang out again She did not respond to this message Now you assume that she wants nothing to do with you and would very much like to un-invite you to the event she suggested before, and in fact would like to never talk to you again? Let me know if I skimmed over any event or got the timetable screwed up but it sounds extremely like you're jumping to conclusions on something that is probably just a really small misunderstanding or miscoummunication. Like, I personally don't always text somebody back unless they're asking me a question or saying something that REALLY warrants a response. If somebody says to me "we should hang out soon" I'm not going to immediately lay out my work schedule for the next two weeks along with an array of places to hang out and things to do. I might just go "yeah" or "definitely" or even say nothing if I'm busy or distracted. I don't think you said anything that really urgently warranted a response but you talk like her not responding to that message must mean she hopes you die.

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;51229188]It sounds like you're getting really really wrapped up in this, so let me see if I have the story straight. You two spent time together a few days ago She invited you to an event at a near-future time You messaged her not long after, saying it would be fun to hang out again She did not respond to this message Now you assume that she wants nothing to do with you and would very much like to un-invite you to the event she suggested before, and in fact would like to never talk to you again? Let me know if I skimmed over any event or got the timetable screwed up but it sounds extremely like you're jumping to conclusions on something that is probably just a really small misunderstanding or miscoummunication. Like, I personally don't always text somebody back unless they're asking me a question or saying something that REALLY warrants a response. If somebody says to me "we should hang out soon" I'm not going to immediately lay out my work schedule for the next two weeks along with an array of places to hang out and things to do. I might just go "yeah" or "definitely" or even say nothing if I'm busy or distracted. I don't think you said anything that really urgently warranted a response but you talk like her not responding to that message must mean she hopes you die.[/QUOTE] nah man I'm just curious why she just hasn't said anything. Nothing from her online or in person for a few days just seems a bit weird to me. It seems like I'm majorly worrying myself over it I guess so I'll try to keep it cool. I'm 20 years old and it was my first real date so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ [sp]plus I tend to self-consciously worry myself super easily which might be my problem, which i'm trying to work on[/sp]

So 2-3 weeks ago, my dad wanted to introduce me to the daughter of one of his friends. I asked why and all he told me was that she was interested in meeting me and that we should just “talk.” So I kinda gave him a vague answer and he took that as a yes and decided to send her my phone number. Generally I dislike my dad and his attempts at being involved with my life, especially since I enlisted in the Army a year ago and currently living on my own. If anything, I’m more annoyed with his helicopter parent tendencies and whatever he considers to be “the best” for me. So of course I regarded the situation with suspicion since usually something idiotic is afoot. Nowadays I regard any girl who is suddenly interested in me with suspicion, given my status as a single soldier, since I’ve heard of girls who married soldiers just for the extra money and free healthcare that comes with marrying a soldier. On top of that, I'm already interested in a few girls and just didn't want to meet one who I've never had any past experience with. My initial assumption about the girl that I was gonna meet was that she’s someone from my home state. 2 days after I talked to my dad, I got a phone call from a Vietnamese phone number and found out that the girl lives in Vietnam and is learning to speak English. Even better is the fact that I can’t speak Vietnamese well so I wouldn’t be able to communicate as fluently in either language. I managed to video call her every once in a while despite our schedules being polar opposites. Now, last Friday I got text messege at around 8:30 PM-ish from the girl telling me how she “really really” likes me. Just note that I met her less than a month ago, so I saw a lot of red flags going up and didn’t respond to her. I went to my first line supervisor at work to ask for advice and he told me that I should cut her loose before things drag out. My only problem with doing this is that I don’t know how to explain why I don’t want to reciprocate her feelings given my limited fluency in Vietnamese and her limited fluency in English. However, I do want to be straightforward and blunt just so the message is clear that I’m not interested in her.