Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[QUOTE=Kite_shugo;51500929]Man; my recent ex that I still live with (but hopefully not by the end of this month) is really obviously into this guy that her ex husband has been bringing to our apartment to chill (her ex husband comes over sometimes to watch my ex's son or just chill) and I am so not over her despite knowing that we most likely will never work with eachother relationship wise. My ex even treated me in a way for the last month that I really shouldn't feel in love with her anymore.. but I do. The worst part is I actually find the guy she likes really cool and would want to be his friend, so that fucks with me the most. I just have to be mature and let her be happy don't I? Cause it seems like interfering and trying to "prove my love" to her is just gonna push her away farther. I just wanna stop caring. Guess I won't be able to till she leaves my apartment.[/QUOTE] Is she on the lease?

[QUOTE=darksoul69;51500986]Is she on the lease?[/QUOTE] thankfully not - and the lease is up beginning of january. I feel it's gonna be a very long month

[QUOTE=Kite_shugo;51501005]thankfully not - and the lease is up beginning of january. I feel it's gonna be a very long month[/QUOTE] If shes not on the lease then I'm pretty sure she cant just invite people over without your permission. You have given her a written notice, right?

Update to anyone who cares: went to an afterparty since today was the last night of our show. Girl I liked didn't turn up, but I ended up super drunkenly bonding with her friend and she told me that she'd help hook me up with the girl I like, as the girl I like "finds me cute" which was awesome. So fingers crossed I'll soon get a chance to meet them over coffee or something. I found out she's quite a quiet person which is just frustrating because the more I find out about her, the more amazing she seems.

My ex who cheated on me ~5 months ago randomly contacted me out of the blue asking me to give her $400. I wish I could say there was more context to that but there's not. I don't know if she's that desperate or what, but I can't imagine what logic led her to think there was any possibility of that going well. I think she has a new boyfriend now too, so I kinda feel bad for that dude since she's made it clear that she hasn't changed much by doing something like this behind his back.

[QUOTE=Meller Yeller;51506844]My ex who cheated on me ~5 months ago randomly contacted me out of the blue asking me to give her $400. I wish I could say there was more context to that but there's not. I don't know if she's that desperate or what, but I can't imagine what logic led her to think there was any possibility of that going well. I think she has a new boyfriend now too, so I kinda feel bad for that dude since she's made it clear that she hasn't changed much by doing something like this behind his back.[/QUOTE] Wait literally just "give me $400", no reasons or excuses? The fuck is the logic behind that? Was she going downhill last time you saw her or what?

i quit smoking for good recently. i quit earlier in the year and that lasted about 2 months but i'm absolutely off it for good now. didn't even get help this time just decided to stop smoking and haven't felt like smoking since, its been fantastic. been feeling really good about everything in life, apart from the fact that i gained nearly 20 kg over the last year that i worked hard to get rid of through last year but i'm working on getting that sorted when i've saved up for a gym membership. had a rough couple of months but things are coming up great for me now. hang in there everyone going through a rough patch, theres always a rainbow at the end of a storm.

[QUOTE=Godzillan;51506859]Wait literally just "give me $400", no reasons or excuses? The fuck is the logic behind that? Was she going downhill last time you saw her or what?[/QUOTE] She said she was "in a rut" with no more description than that. I probably could have asked but I really just don't think I'm in a place yet where I can have any healthy contact. She lives with her parents so I know she's not in a completely terrible situation or anything. When she cheated and the relationship fell apart, it was in the midst of her struggling with anxiety and depression. Trying to be healthy and avoid social media/general contact, I don't know how things have gone. But if she hasn't gotten help then I wouldn't be surprised if she's continued to go downhill and it's somehow related.

Finally messaged that girl I matched up with not long ago, and it went well! We ended up texting for 4 hours and she's just as awkward and weird as me, which we both found super relieving. She seems to really like me as well. Something might actually come of this, which is such an amazing feeling. Finally breaking the ice was the worst part but I'm so glad I did.

[QUOTE=Meller Yeller;51507093]She said she was "in a rut" with no more description than that. I probably could have asked but I really just don't think I'm in a place yet where I can have any healthy contact. She lives with her parents so I know she's not in a completely terrible situation or anything. When she cheated and the relationship fell apart, it was in the midst of her struggling with anxiety and depression. Trying to be healthy and avoid social media/general contact, I don't know how things have gone. But if she hasn't gotten help then I wouldn't be surprised if she's continued to go downhill and it's somehow related.[/QUOTE] Good for you buddy, I'd ignore the shit out of her too. It's best for you.

I just spent an entire party getting hit on by two girls, then left, walked one of those girls home, and am now laying in my bed alone and very quickly sober. How do I even do this?

my friend is having a recurring health issue at the moment, he sent a message to his recent (damn pretty) tinder match saying that he was feeling miserable without specifying why, and she sent him nudes without him asking why can't these things happen to me

Taking my girlfriend to NYC for Christmas this year, and I was wondering if any of y'all have any coupley things in mind that we could do in the city. We're doing the obvious, of course (Central Park, Rockerfeller Center, Alice's Tea Cup, etc), but I was wondering if there's anything else that would be great. It's gonna be in mid January though, so I don't think any Christmas-related activities would work out. I just want this day to be perfect (we have a history of me planning dates and then fucking everything up) for us.

[QUOTE=mcgrath618;51517879]Taking my girlfriend to NYC for Christmas this year, and I was wondering if any of y'all have any coupley things in mind that we could do in the city. We're doing the obvious, of course (Central Park, Rockerfeller Center, Alice's Tea Cup, etc), but I was wondering if there's anything else that would be great. It's gonna be in mid January though, so I don't think any Christmas-related activities would work out. I just want this day to be perfect (we have a history of me planning dates and then fucking everything up) for us.[/QUOTE] Keep a lot of empty space in your schedule. If something is delayed not everything would be ruined then. NYC is pretty busy these days

[QUOTE=da space core;51517912]Keep a lot of empty space in your schedule. If something is delayed not everything would be ruined then. NYC is pretty busy these days[/QUOTE] This is true, I just want her to have a good NYC experience, since the last time she went she hated every second of it (family went to tourist traps, whiney friend, took cabs everywhere, etc)

I've never been to NYC, but aren't there those neat underground comedy clubs like the one featured in Louie? Or all those little "Worlds best Pizza" joints? If I wanted a non-touristy trip to NYC I'd just hit up the less traveled streets and find little gems like that. Lot of space to roam, however.

This girl I've been dating told me she's been confused what her sexual orientation is, I want to support her but I'm hurt. [editline]12th December 2016[/editline] She tells me she really likes me, but doesn't understand what she's feeling.

Did she... specify? Like is she leaning more towards other girls entirely or more bisexual?

She dated what was her best friend way before she met me for like a week, but she moved away and a long distance wasn't working out. She's coming back for Christmas, and she told me she has feelings coming back for her, but says she still does for me. She was a bit distant for the past week, and she said it was because she's scared to hurt either of us and I don't know how I am supposed to help her in this.

That's something she'll need to honestly figure out herself. You can't really influence her feelings on the subject, but you do need to let her know that unless she's of a mind to propose polyamory, that it's probably a situation that'll need to be addressed at some point. But you're within your right to be comfortable and happy and if her having feelings for someone else is going to be an issue (which, of course, it almost always becomes one), then you also have a right to let her know that. But ultimately it's something she'll have to deal with herself and no real amount of prompting from you will do much good if this is something she's really conflicted with.

I'm talking with like 4 different girls on tinder but it never really seems to go anywhere. I feel like, way less cool over text. I asked one of them if they'd like to casually grab a drink and she said this week is busy and she'll let me know... But she loves the idea. But I feel it still won't happen, doesn't matter but I wish people could just be like "nah, you seem cool but I don't think we'd click or I'm not looking for that right now""

Sometime at the mid - end of this month I achieve one year sober from alcohol!

[QUOTE=Glitchman;51523816]I'm talking with like 4 different girls on tinder but it never really seems to go anywhere. I feel like, way less cool over text. I asked one of them if they'd like to casually grab a drink and she said this week is busy and she'll let me know... But she loves the idea. But I feel it still won't happen, doesn't matter but I wish people could just be like "nah, you seem cool but I don't think we'd click or I'm not looking for that right now""[/QUOTE] I don't know how old you are and how education is in the US, but for me it's finals week and everybody is scrambling. Don't take it personally.

[QUOTE=austin0331;51524156]I don't know how old you are and how education is in the US, but for me it's finals week and everybody is scrambling. Don't take it personally.[/QUOTE] im 29 and usually talk to girls at least 24 [editline]13th December 2016[/editline] TRYINA BE HIP WITH THE TINDER

[QUOTE=Glitchman;51523816]I'm talking with like 4 different girls on tinder but it never really seems to go anywhere. I feel like, way less cool over text. I asked one of them if they'd like to casually grab a drink and she said this week is busy and she'll let me know... But she loves the idea. But I feel it still won't happen, doesn't matter but I wish people could just be like "nah, you seem cool but I don't think we'd click or I'm not looking for that right now""[/QUOTE] I'm kinda the same way. I'm not fun to talk to at all over text at first because I play it too safe. In person works fine though so I just try to get to the actual date part as quickly as possible (but not so quickly they're uncomfortable).

is it bad i rely on someone to be happy? its just my life wasnt good before her and now im happy with her

I think it's so weird how almost everybody on tinder just goes ghost sooner or later. Sometimes it's the moment you match, and sometimes it's right up to the start of the date. It's happened so much that I don't mind really, and I understand the feeling of not wanting to tell somebody "hey I had second thoughts/a better offer and don't want to do this anymore" but if I talked to somebody and had second thoughts, I'd at least unmatch them. It's an easy and non-confrontational way to show that you're not interested, and doesn't string people along with any false hope that you might still be around. I very rarely get a match though, so maybe with other people it's normal to have so many dozens upon dozens that you can't even keep track of who you're talking to from day to day.

Try some sites/apps other than Tinder. I wasn't getting any results on it so I tried out OkCupid and I found someone really good for me since it uses a matching system.

[QUOTE=austin0331;51525821]Try some sites/apps other than Tinder. I wasn't getting any results on it so I tried out OkCupid and I found someone really good for me since it uses a matching system.[/QUOTE] I wasn't as fond of OKC. I really prefer how Tinder requires you to establish mutual interest in some form before you have the option of messaging, instead of just letting anybody message anybody. That, and I've found that the people I get along with the best are not necessarily people who share my interests. Like the last person I was with, pretty much all we had in common was an interest in movies, but not even for the same reasons, and really I think it was the fact that we had so many differences that made each other so interesting to talk to. I have friends who have way more in common with me, but I just don't necessarily have the right chemistry with them. Not to say it's a matter of "opposites attract" or anything, but I just find that the amount I have in common with someone is totally independent of how well I get along with them. Some people, I have almost no common ground with them, but we can talk for hours about general random bullshit. Other people, we like all the same movies and hobbies and shit but I just can't STAND their demeanor.

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;51526655]I wasn't as fond of OKC. I really prefer how Tinder requires you to establish mutual interest in some form before you have the option of messaging, instead of just letting anybody message anybody.[/quote] OKC does the same thing, it shows you people in your area and lets you talk if you both match eachother. You can get unsolicited messages, yeah, but it still works generally the same. [QUOTE=Loofiloo;51526655] That, and I've found that the people I get along with the best are not necessarily people who share my interests. Like the last person I was with, pretty much all we had in common was an interest in movies, but not even for the same reasons, and really I think it was the fact that we had so many differences that made each other so interesting to talk to. I have friends who have way more in common with me, but I just don't necessarily have the right chemistry with them. Not to say it's a matter of "opposites attract" or anything, but I just find that the amount I have in common with someone is totally independent of how well I get along with them. Some people, I have almost no common ground with them, but we can talk for hours about general random bullshit. Other people, we like all the same movies and hobbies and shit but I just can't STAND their demeanor.[/QUOTE] Not many of the OKC questions I answered had that much to specific interests. A lot of it helps solidify what kind of relationship you're looking for. It seperates the people who are interested in a one night stand from those who want an actual relationship. Tinder is also really popular with the outgoing, party-happy teen audience. I find that I saw a lot more humble, genuine people on OKC (though that probably stems from that matching system again). You'll probably get a bit less of people ghosting because I feel it's a bit more of a mature site, as it's usually people's second choice when they realize Tinder isn't working so well for them.