Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[QUOTE=arleitiss;51583982]Okay so that girl that contacted me after 3 years came over. We had a nice evening and we drove to small party of our friends. What we didn't know - her ex bf will be there. Here is a problem: I am 23, hes 19, hes a scumbagy lowlife who doesn't do shit in life but he refuses to let her go so he punched me twice and burst my lip. I walked off (because I cant punch him back, I usually resolve my conflicts with words and peaceful solutions and because if my workplace finds out I am involved in fights (visible by my burst lip) - I will be fired for bad publicity probably). Anyway, later on I picked her up and drove her home, she wanted to go to my place but I said lets call it a day and brought her home. Now its 3 AM, I am at home drinking alone. What the fuck do you do when you cant hit back without possibly serious consequences? Also some of my friends who were at party are saying that the girl said: "My lift got beaten up" I feel like just telling everybody to go fuck themselves straight forward but yeah, I don't know how to meet somebody new.[/QUOTE] In a very similar boat to you on the employment front buddy - it isn't easy! In my uni days I wouldn't shy away from a scrap if someone was pushing for one but now I have to behave properly. It's doubtful you will get fired for someone punching you - you can't necessarily prevent that, it' how you respond. Kicking the shit out of someone looks bad for the company, walking away doesn't. You just got to take the knocks and get better at avoiding fights. [editline]26th December 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=based;51584132]I still kinda miss my ex but I don't want to get back with her [editline]26th December 2016[/editline] What do[/QUOTE] Don't get back with her. Get on someone else.

Can somebody check my behavior and make sure I'm not being melodramatic or anything here? So that chick my buddy liked actually did end up having a thing for me; long story short we go to her apartment one night to party but she stays in her room to sleep since she has work the next day or something. While we're there her roommate shows me a text from her that says "omg srobins is so hot tbh" and stuff like that, I'm over the moon and have a great rest of my night, and we make plans to celebrate my 21st birthday at their place the following night. The next day she's flirting with me over text and Snapchat and things seem great, we finally meet up and head to their place, drink a little and we make out and drunkenly hold hands and all that throughout the night, we make it to bed but we're both in pretty bad shape at this point (I mean, I just turned 21, do the math) so we just fall asleep together. In the morning we start formulating plans to do shrooms together and decide Friday is a good night to do it. Friday rolls around, the magic hour comes and I show up ready to do shrooms with a cute girl. I bring a bunch of friends at her recommendation and we have a decent crowd of mostly my buddies and her and her roommates with like 4 of us all tripping hard. Here's the catch: Her roommate is babysitting her niece or something in the other room, and within like an hour, the girl I'm after disappears into the little girl's room and I don't see her for pretty much the entire rest of the night. She comes out at some point and is clearly trying to hint me into bed, but I'm pretty much in another universe so I just kind of play it down and hope she'll be around in an hour or two when I can remember how my legs work. She disappears again and I don't see her for the rest of the night, her roommate tells me she's freaking out and having a bad trip and says I really shouldn't go in that room to get her since her niece is there and I'm a weird older man on psychedelics :v: By the end of the night when everyone is coming down, her roommate goes in there and shows the girl I'm after something on her phone, which gets her to come out and immediately start texting her ex (lol). I guess her roommate matched with her ex on Tinder and his profile pic includes kissing her on the cheek. For the next hour or so she's just wandering around in the kitchen outraged and texting her ex. Me and my buddy get our stuff to leave and I kinda jokingly say to her on the way out "it was nice seeing you" (not being shitty, just kinda laughing as I say it) and she just smiles and says nothing while we walk out. At this point I'm thinking "alright, fuck it", but I decide to buy her roommate a little Christmas present because she babysat me while I was tripping and really did make it a great experience. The next day I nab the roommate a little gift and deliver it over, we chit chat for a minute and she invites me over that night to hang out and smoke a Christmas bowl, which I accept. I mean, what could go wrong? I get there in the evening and as I'm on my way over her roommate is texting me stuff like "____ is so excited!", "tonight will be wayyy more fun :)" and stuff like that, so obviously I'm pretty chuffed looking forward to smoking with this cute chick and making some magic happen. When I get there, I'm greeted briefly and then she goes back to wandering around on her phone texting this group of guys who are supposed to come over and bring more shrooms, while ranting and raving about how hot one of them is. Apparently everyone there is planning on doing shrooms all of a sudden, which I'm fine with because I enjoy the babysitting. Skipping ahead a bit, three grown ass men, one who looks like fucking thirty, show up at the door with no shrooms, no nothing, and the girl I'm there to see goes out for like 45 minutes to pick up some other drug. I'm left there with three really fucking lame dudes I've never met and her roommate who is on shrooms. At some point before the other girl even gets back I just pretended to get a text and bailed. I guess the reason I wrote this post is for some feedback like, am I being a baby? Or is this shit really as lame as I feel it is? After this I just have no interest in interacting with that chick, I've had one good experience when we were drunk and everything past that has been very.. I don't know, I just really haven't enjoyed it.

[QUOTE=Kabstrac;51586166]Sounds like a pretty lame ass time to me. Why don't you try doing something with this chick that doesn't involve just getting high or drunk with a bunch of people?[/QUOTE] Not to sound like a dick, but that's just kind of the crowd they're in. Like, they're party chicks, which is fine but I just can't really envision myself taking her out on a proper date, at least not after all this nonsense. The morning after we'd slept together (but not, like, [I]slept[/I] together) I had an interview and forgot something at their place, so I came back in the afternoon to pick it up. I had a really nice talk with her for like an hour and a half and felt a bit like there could be something there, but all the business about texting her ex while I'm on shrooms and then inviting three really weird dudes over to what I thought was a somewhat private night has definitely put me off.

so my 18 year old sister has a 35 year old boyfriend nice [editline]26th December 2016[/editline] totally not being taken advantage of

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;51579227]Working out isn't something that will work for eveyone, speaking from personal experience. This whole semester I've been on swimming class on my uni (I needed to since I have back problems), and I've actulally felt more depressed, stressed and tired than past springs. BUT, I think that the more general advice of "Dedicate to your own personal develpment and hobbies" is better advice for you, be it working out, drawing, painting, and a big etc. Join clubs and forums and shit, I think that's the key to get out of monotony.[/QUOTE] Exercise on its own might not help with depression for everyone, but that's not an excuse to not do it. Being productive will probably help with some stress but drawing and painting sure as hell aren't going to fix nutritional deficiencies/neurotransmitter imbalances that factor into mood disorder. Diet, sleep, and exercise are all crucial to physical as well as emotional health and are the first place I would start. As a side note: I've recently seen some studies showing a relationship between gut bacteria and depression. Vitamins/minerals aren't the only issue here - it seems that one of the huge causes of mood disorders in our society is simply that we cook the vast majority of our food and kill the bacteria in it. Just eating fresh and uncooked food can cause a huge difference in mood.

Raw yogurt, kefir and the like are quite good for that. And remember to not use antibiotics lighty.

[QUOTE=Lucasz;51578030]Eh, I just think it's a dick move if you chase/be a shark/pursue a girl who's taken. I had a girl make moves on me about 2 years ago. I ended up discovering she had a boyfriend after I slept with her. I was a dumb horny 18 year old, and probably should've known better, but it's too easy to beat myself up, so I won't do that. Long story short, check if the girl you're interested in is in a relationship, even if she's into you. It's not worth hurting yourself or her bf for![/QUOTE] In my book, if they're not married/engaged, then they're not taken

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51586654]Exercise on its own might not help with depression for everyone, but that's not an excuse to not do it. Being productive will probably help with some stress but drawing and painting sure as hell aren't going to fix nutritional deficiencies/neurotransmitter imbalances that factor into mood disorder. Diet, sleep, and exercise are all crucial to physical as well as emotional health and are the first place I would start. As a side note: I've recently seen some studies showing a relationship between gut bacteria and depression. Vitamins/minerals aren't the only issue here - it seems that one of the huge causes of mood disorders in our society is simply that we cook the vast majority of our food and kill the bacteria in it. Just eating fresh and uncooked food can cause a huge difference in mood.[/QUOTE] Just for some anecdotal evidence, I live in a house with 2 other dudes and all of us have some form of mental problem/illness. In my case and one of my housemates cases, we both go through periods of pretty severe depression and anxiety that can manifest in some similar ways - except for one. The problem he has is that he's been really depressed lately and it's basically because he doesn't place any value in his external conditions - lives nocturnally, his light in his room broke 6 months ago and he hasn't replaced it, doesn't do exercise, doesn't eat healthy. Generally has pasta with tomato sauce most nights and that's it. His psych told him the same thing - but idk, there doesn't seem to be much motivation for a turnaround. I'm probably being a bit judgemental but I care about the guy and I know from first hand experience how important these things can be to someone's mental state and it feels like he's blind to it Some people would probably say that the external conditions are caused by the depression and that's true to some extent - but I'm of the belief that it's very difficult to lift yourself out without doing something small to change your external conditions - the conditions you live in are so so important for your mental health and it's really important to remember that.

[QUOTE=killerteacup;51587015]Just for some anecdotal evidence, I live in a house with 2 other dudes and all of us have some form of mental problem/illness. In my case and one of my housemates cases, we both go through periods of pretty severe depression and anxiety that can manifest in some similar ways - except for one. The problem he has is that he's been really depressed lately and it's basically because he doesn't place any value in his external conditions - lives nocturnally, his light in his room broke 6 months ago and he hasn't replaced it, doesn't do exercise, doesn't eat healthy. Generally has pasta with tomato sauce most nights and that's it. His psych told him the same thing - but idk, there doesn't seem to be much motivation for a turnaround. I'm probably being a bit judgemental but I care about the guy and I know from first hand experience how important these things can be to someone's mental state and it feels like he's blind to it Some people would probably say that the external conditions are caused by the depression and that's true to some extent - but I'm of the belief that it's very difficult to lift yourself out without doing something small to change your external conditions - the conditions you live in are so so important for your mental health and it's really important to remember that.[/QUOTE] I know so many people like this who completely neglect their physical health and then act like they have 0 control over your mental health. It can be so frustrating when you care about someone in your life who is depressed and can't do anything but watch them ruin themselves. The comment I responded to frustrated me a bit in its phrasing because I know so many people who have dug themselves into a hole and completely neglected their health because they tried running [i]once[/i] or ate healthy for a week and didn't feel different. Everyone knows that healthy diet and exercise are good for you. Not sitting on your couch 18 hours a day is beneficial for every capable young adult. This is general knowledge. Just because you didn't notice a difference in mood after trying one thing for a little while doesn't mean it's not worth doing. Lack of motivation sucks, but it does not prevent you from doing things to improve your situation. All of us have control over our behavior. You can have an emotion and not act on it. It might make it harder, but depression does not control you.

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51586954]In my book, if they're not married/engaged, then they're not taken[/QUOTE] get a new book

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51586954]In my book, if they're not married/engaged, then they're not taken[/QUOTE] lol what the fuck

[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;51586268]so my 18 year old sister has a 35 year old boyfriend nice [editline]26th December 2016[/editline] totally not being taken advantage of[/QUOTE] My dad was like 35 and my mom was 19/20ish when they met, but it was my mother who approached my dad first and he looked like he was in his twenties still, he has some good genes. Still together today. Extreme gap and most likely going to end bad but not always the case.

Really sucks when the only connections you have around here are just people who want to smoke dope and do illegal shit all the time instead of just normally hang out. Can't really say "normally hang out" since i barely do that at all. No one ever calls me up to hang out , and usually if i want to bring people over to my place. My mom will have to ask a bajillion questions about who im inviting, and if it doesn't fit her preference. Then i can't have that person over. I seriously need to find friends in college once i go back this next semester. I guess another reason why i want to hang out with people is to actually know how people act normal around each other. Since ive been working on a story for the past few years, i can't never come up with proper dialogue or how people interact properly since i barely had shit when it came to friends and social interactions. Though that isn't my main reason on why i want to hang out with people. I've have been thinking of renting an apartment in Omaha over the summer. Basically i convinced my mom that i could do summer classes, though, its more of an excuse for me to stay healthy, hit the gym, and probably find a few friends. Hell maybe a girlfriend if i try hard enough to become social. Need to find someone before i go insane.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51587116]I know so many people like this who completely neglect their physical health and then act like they have 0 control over your mental health. It can be so frustrating when you care about someone in your life who is depressed and can't do anything but watch them ruin themselves. The comment I responded to frustrated me a bit in its phrasing because I know so many people who have dug themselves into a hole and completely neglected their health because they tried running [i]once[/i] or ate healthy for a week and didn't feel different. Everyone knows that healthy diet and exercise are good for you. Not sitting on your couch 18 hours a day is beneficial for every capable young adult. This is general knowledge. Just because you didn't notice a difference in mood after trying one thing for a little while doesn't mean it's not worth doing. Lack of motivation sucks, but it does not prevent you from doing things to improve your situation. All of us have control over our behavior. You can have an emotion and not act on it. It might make it harder, but depression does not control you.[/QUOTE] After advice from his psych, my housemate replaced his pasta and sauce with gnocchi instead. Big whoop. I didn't really notice many other changes except for he cooked eggs one night, so I get what you mean. Loads of people I've met or spoken to expect their mental health to be rectified through some sort of immediate reward, in one way or another. Whether that's because they say "Well, I cleaned my room once and didn't really feel better" or "I ate healthy one night and went on a run but I didn't feel better the next day", or my favourite - "I did go and visit the psychologist once or twice but they didn't understand me and nothing they said helped" People can have depression for years, or put on weight over the course of years. People have bad habits for a long time - but often expect things to just sort themselves out really quickly. Really doesn't work like that

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51586954]In my book, if they're not married/engaged, then they're not taken[/QUOTE] [IMG]http://i.imgur.com/6vApA.gif?noredirect[/IMG] [editline]27th December 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51587116]I know so many people like this who completely neglect their physical health and then act like they have 0 control over your mental health. It can be so frustrating when you care about someone in your life who is depressed and can't do anything but watch them ruin themselves. The comment I responded to frustrated me a bit in its phrasing because I know so many people who have dug themselves into a hole and completely neglected their health because they tried running [i]once[/i] or ate healthy for a week and didn't feel different. Everyone knows that healthy diet and exercise are good for you. Not sitting on your couch 18 hours a day is beneficial for every capable young adult. This is general knowledge. Just because you didn't notice a difference in mood after trying one thing for a little while doesn't mean it's not worth doing. Lack of motivation sucks, but it does not prevent you from doing things to improve your situation. All of us have control over our behavior. You can have an emotion and not act on it. It might make it harder, but depression does not control you.[/QUOTE] You can be surprised on how fucking bad depression can get.

[QUOTE=Deathtrooper2;51587615]You can be surprised on how fucking bad depression can get.[/QUOTE] No, I haven't forgotten. I spent enough of my teenage years being suicidal to know what it's like. I still am subject to random emotional fluctuations because of bipolar disorder. As insincere as I might sound, I know it sucks, but part of recovering from it is not treating yourself like a totally helpless victim. There are plenty of steps everyone can take in order to heal and depression itself is not preventing you from taking those steps, it's only making it harder. You are the only one who can climb out of that pit.

[QUOTE=Deathtrooper2;51587615]You can be surprised on how fucking bad depression can get.[/QUOTE] Depression sucks big balls, but ultimately, the only person who can help you get out of it is yourself. It's going to be a huge effort, but it's possible

[QUOTE=Deathtrooper2;51587615][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/6vApA.gif?noredirect[/IMG] [editline]27th December 2016[/editline] You can be surprised on how fucking bad depression can get.[/QUOTE] I'm in agreeance with Guy and I was diagnosed suicidal in June

[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;51586268]so my 18 year old sister has a 35 year old boyfriend nice [editline]26th December 2016[/editline] totally not being taken advantage of[/QUOTE] my 20 year old friend has a 44 year old boyfriend. I don't see that ending well to be honest but hey, if it's what she wants to do.

[QUOTE=killerteacup;51588399]I'm in agreeance with Guy and I was diagnosed suicidal in June[/QUOTE] Alright, just pointing out how bad it can fucking get, didn't say it was impossible to deal with. But some cases, it can be to the point you can barely get shit done.

Get the meds you need people.

I'm moving abroad to live closer to my girlfriend. I feel like I'm growing up.

So I'm at 2 months of living with my recent ex GF, things are finally looking up a bit and I'm not the mess of emotions I was a few weeks ago. Need to try and move out of this apartment asap. Now I've learned my lesson for moving in with your gf too soon.

so, its been a year since my only significant relationship ended. Im 22 now, and i know i shouldnt think this, but, is it ok to get a little anxious? i cant control this feeling that im looking for love in every corner, and it bothers me a lot, makes me tired, and i get this "you will never find something as good again" kind of thoughts. I know im very young still, but i cant shake all this preassure. Are there any forms or activities to cope with all this? i would really like to hear yours guys.

I am not the type of person that depends on love to be happy and Ill never get or understand those people who feen for love like some type of substance. I see it everywhere and it drives me crazy. I had a girlfriend like 2 months ago and we broke up after being together proper for like a month and a half. Of course I felt down and a little empty inside, but I realized how happy I made myself before I had a girlfriend. Yes it was a short lived relationship and I can't compare it to those who have had longer relationships, but the feeling of intimacy and closeness is always still there regardless of length. My main point is try to make yourself happy before you go and try to find someone to make happy. Independence is important for a strong relationship imo. Things that make me happy is money, guitar, weed etc. Find your happiness bruh

[QUOTE=autodesknoob;51589222]so, its been a year since my only significant relationship ended. Im 22 now, and i know i shouldnt think this, but, is it ok to get a little anxious? i cant control this feeling that im looking for love in every corner, and it bothers me a lot, makes me tired, and i get this "you will never find something as good again" kind of thoughts. I know im very young still, but i cant shake all this preassure. Are there any forms or activities to cope with all this? i would really like to hear yours guys.[/QUOTE] I don't think it's bad to have emotions, but thats just my opinion. I see them as informative.

[QUOTE=Lucasz;51589954]I don't think it's bad to have emotions, but thats just my opinion. I see them as informative.[/QUOTE] yeah....im mean...i think maybe im that anxious because its been a while, like, a year feels like a lot to still be this fucked.

Uh, been thinking about this girl for about a month now. She's been the only girl I've basically been writting to too. Long story short, we did a lot of texting, she did send some texts that more or less confirmed she was interested, like, talking about past relationships and that she's jelious that I pay attention to others girls and such, so I stopped and put her on first. I did A LOT OF stupid things ( and I got talked behind my back ) that basically ( I THINK ) killed whatever (if there was something) between us and she basically one day was friendly and then the next day she said she wants to be only friends, so I kinda more or less got over it, stopped bothering/texting her so much but she keeps on giving these mixed singals. I really doubt she's interested in me at all because of the side information I've heard that's she's been talking about me but still. I basically avoid her more or less, ignore her and she sometimes even texts me first, send me, these two-type messages that could be interpreted in not-just-friendly messages. Anywho how the hell do I get out of this shithole that I am in right now, I am 90% certain she's not interesed in me but I also do not really want to bother her with any "do want or not" texts because we havent really been speaking a lot lately. Do I just find some new woman? That's probably it lol, just lonely and horny >.> My head is such a mess right now and no its not love, just confusion and me not getting laid lately.

[QUOTE=autodesknoob;51589970]yeah....im mean...i think maybe im that anxious because its been a while, like, a year feels like a lot to still be this fucked.[/QUOTE] Ah, you could try accepting it's a lot to handle and try to find a way to express how you feel, and how to feel better about yourself. I personally keep my "issues" to myself and express by my hobbies: making and listening to music, exercising, and cooking. Caring for my own emotional needs pretty much allows me to handle next to any situation. Try it, maybe it works for you too. In short: chin up, I believe you can handle it

[QUOTE=keda009;51590118]Uh, been thinking about this girl for about a month now. She's been the only girl I've basically been writting to too. Long story short, we did a lot of texting, she did send some texts that more or less confirmed she was interested, like, talking about past relationships and that she's jelious that I pay attention to others girls and such, so I stopped and put her on first. I did A LOT OF stupid things ( and I got talked behind my back ) that basically ( I THINK ) killed whatever (if there was something) between us and she basically one day was friendly and then the next day she said she wants to be only friends, so I kinda more or less got over it, stopped bothering/texting her so much but she keeps on giving these mixed singals. I really doubt she's interested in me at all because of the side information I've heard that's she's been talking about me but still. I basically avoid her more or less, ignore her and she sometimes even texts me first, send me, these two-type messages that could be interpreted in not-just-friendly messages. Anywho how the hell do I get out of this shithole that I am in right now, I am 90% certain she's not interesed in me but I also do not really want to bother her with any "do want or not" texts because we havent really been speaking a lot lately. Do I just find some new woman? That's probably it lol, just lonely and horny >.> My head is such a mess right now and no its not love, just confusion and me not getting laid lately.[/QUOTE] is this a long-distance type thing? why not just ask if she wants to hang out or just be upfront and say a date.