Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[QUOTE=ChaosUnleash;51610117]While I was at uni my parents moved house to somewhere hours away from the town I'd grown up in. When I graduated uni and moved back there I realised that the friends I'd made at uni all lived far away from each other and aside from the odd specific meet up that has taken effort to organise, we won't really see much of each other anymore. I got a job, it's about an hours drive from where I live. I'm the youngest there and because I'm new I don't really feel all that confident anyway, so I'm not really making 'friends', just workmates. I guess I am just really lonely. I don't know anyone who is less than a 2 drive from where I live. How do you meet new people when you don't know anyone? A few of my uni friends have suggested that I try dating apps such as Tinder - partly because they all think it's about time I got myself a girlfriend (I'm 22 and have NEVER really been interested in such things), but also because apparently it's a good way to meet and talk to people. Is there much truth to that? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to make new friends? I've always managed through school or uni, but now that they're all over and done with I just feel really isolated and alone.[/QUOTE] I would say Tinder is an expenditure for unknown results. Some experiences seem good, but it mostly serves as a hookup app. Don't let anyone influence you into starting a relationship when you don't think that you're interested or ready, it'll save you or someone else's feelings. Are there any events going on in your area? You could see if you could attend one of those, or ask your workmates if there's any way you could get to know people.

Got a date with a girl in a couple hours, and I'm still shaking off the NYE hangover. She joked about being hungover for this as well when we set it up, so hopefully that can be somewhat of an icebreaker and help smooth the initial meet. I don't have a pounding headache or anything, just a bit tired and dealing with a little bit of the "empty soul" feeling. Should be able to make decent enough conversation and hopefully come off as interesting enough. Edit : She just asked to reschedule for tomorrow instead, due to the hangover. I was excited to go out, but kinda glad I'll be in better shape for the first impression.

[QUOTE=ChaosUnleash;51610117]While I was at uni my parents moved house to somewhere hours away from the town I'd grown up in. When I graduated uni and moved back there I realised that the friends I'd made at uni all lived far away from each other and aside from the odd specific meet up that has taken effort to organise, we won't really see much of each other anymore. I got a job, it's about an hours drive from where I live. I'm the youngest there and because I'm new I don't really feel all that confident anyway, so I'm not really making 'friends', just workmates. I guess I am just really lonely. I don't know anyone who is less than a 2 drive from where I live. How do you meet new people when you don't know anyone? A few of my uni friends have suggested that I try dating apps such as Tinder - partly because they all think it's about time I got myself a girlfriend (I'm 22 and have NEVER really been interested in such things), but also because apparently it's a good way to meet and talk to people. Is there much truth to that? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to make new friends? I've always managed through school or uni, but now that they're all over and done with I just feel really isolated and alone.[/QUOTE] Making friends is hard, but I found that sometimes co-workers can be really good friends, but it takes time to get to know them. Tinder is fucking horrifying man, like rolling the dice, I mean there's a possibility to meet some nice people but ehh. Getting a girlfriend won't help loneliness. A lot of my friends are off at college or out of state, totally sucks but I try and make sure I stay in touch.

You all basically just said what I thought about the whole Tinder thing, so I'm probably going to avoid that for the time being. I'm trying to befriend my co-workers but it does indeed take time. I did see some board game club that was supposedly run in the evenings - even though I've never played anything like that before I was tempted to go just to try and meet some more local folk. It'd be a bit of a pain to get to because of my work hours and the travel time but I think I could manage it if I got up a little earlier and went into work early to then leave early... I'll look into it more! Thanks for the responses, it's helped me put stuff into perspective.

a point to make about tinder; there is the regular old hookup side to it but within the app there is also "tinder social" where you basically say "yo I'm going out with m8s, who is going out with their m8s and wants to meet up". not sure on how well that really works because I've never tried it, but then tinder has never worked for me anyway, I just get the "no one new in your area" screen most times :v:

Just got back from the date I mentioned yesterday. It felt pretty good, just paranoid about the first date awkwardness. It wasn't really all that awkward, but I'm over analyzing it I guess 'cause she does seem really great. We only went for coffee, but chatted pretty smoothly for 2 hours. I definitely want to follow up by taking her out for dinner and some sort of activity. How long do you guys think would be good to wait to text/call her? I was thinking tomorrow night.

I'd personally say 2-3 days. But that's because I prefer to have some room inbetween my dates.

[QUOTE=Lucasz;51616498]I'd personally say 2-3 days. But that's because I prefer to have some room inbetween my dates.[/QUOTE] I was only gonna contact her that soon. The actual date was gonna probably be her next days off which would end up being a week after the first one.

Dude don't wait to text her. If you both had a good time just text her right after, conversation doesn't have to stop just because you're apart. Just text her saying 'Hey, I had a really good time' and see what conversation happens from there

So I recently hung out with a friend's group of friends and I ended up making out with this girl who I went to high school with but only ever really talked to her on occasion, we were just a part of different friends groups. We were both pretty drunk. While we were drinking we got to talking about life, and it turned into flirting and before you know it we went into my friend's room. Unfortunately, I had work the next morning at 4:30 am so I told my friend to get me out of there by 10:30 no matter what. So while we were making out he came in and swooped me up. Ever since that party, when I hang out with that group she is EXTREMELY awkward towards me. She won't talk to me, she will be really short with any response that she gives and it seems like she just wants to avoid me at all costs. Tbh I think it would be cool to get to know her more, as she is a really cool person from what I talked to her about but I don't really have feelings for her. Because of this, I don't feel awkward about the situation at all. When we hang out I've tried to ease my way into a conversation with her like everything was normal buuuuut that never seems to work. What can I do, if anything, to make her feel less awkward? I don't feel awkward at all and I'm sad that she feels that way. I understand that she might be awkwarded out because she was drunk and she feels that she made a mistake or she's grossed out or something but I have no feelings toward her and I would like to get everything to back to normal

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;51617520]Dude don't wait to text her. If you both had a good time just text her right after, conversation doesn't have to stop just because you're apart. Just text her saying 'Hey, I had a really good time' and see what conversation happens from there[/QUOTE] Alright, I'll give her a shout today than.

[QUOTE=ChaosUnleash;51610117]While I was at uni my parents moved house to somewhere hours away from the town I'd grown up in. When I graduated uni and moved back there I realised that the friends I'd made at uni all lived far away from each other and aside from the odd specific meet up that has taken effort to organise, we won't really see much of each other anymore. I got a job, it's about an hours drive from where I live. I'm the youngest there and because I'm new I don't really feel all that confident anyway, so I'm not really making 'friends', just workmates. I guess I am just really lonely. I don't know anyone who is less than a 2 drive from where I live. How do you meet new people when you don't know anyone? A few of my uni friends have suggested that I try dating apps such as Tinder - partly because they all think it's about time I got myself a girlfriend (I'm 22 and have NEVER really been interested in such things), but also because apparently it's a good way to meet and talk to people. Is there much truth to that? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to make new friends? I've always managed through school or uni, but now that they're all over and done with I just feel really isolated and alone.[/QUOTE] I moved to a new city to start a job few years ago when I was 21-22ish, lost contact overnight with basically everyone I knew and at first spent most of my time alone aside from visiting my gf in uni every other weekend. All my workmates were my age but they commuted and lived quite far away so I never had a chance to do anything with them outside of work. Try to find events, classes, interesting things in your area that you can go to and attend. It might feel awkward doing some stuff but you can literally break ice by saying you recently moved here and you don't know anyone. I made a few friends through DOTA2's location based chat rooms that had lived in the city their whole lives, and through them I met more people on going out to the pub, friends of friends, we had LAN parties and went to stuff together. It's actually surprisingly easy to meet people on games, especially with so many subreddits for party finding kinda thing, if you play any major games you can probably find some people that live near you which is at least a start. When you think about it, usually you only need to make 1-2 friends and if they have an existing group you might gel with then you can be brought into the fold. My roommate at the time was also in a similar situation, he started taking some random Japanese and gymnastic classes and he built a pretty big friend group through that.

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;51617520]Dude don't wait to text her. If you both had a good time just text her right after, conversation doesn't have to stop just because you're apart. Just text her saying 'Hey, I had a really good time' and see what conversation happens from there[/QUOTE] ye, this. I've never understood why people say wait x amount of days. if you had a good time, you had a good time, noone's going to look at their phone in disgust a few hours after a date when they see you've just messaged them saying you had fun

[QUOTE=shadowdude14;51617544]So I recently hung out with a friend's group of friends and I ended up making out with this girl who I went to high school with but only ever really talked to her on occasion, we were just a part of different friends groups. We were both pretty drunk. While we were drinking we got to talking about life, and it turned into flirting and before you know it we went into my friend's room. Unfortunately, I had work the next morning at 4:30 am so I told my friend to get me out of there by 10:30 no matter what. So while we were making out he came in and swooped me up. Ever since that party, when I hang out with that group she is EXTREMELY awkward towards me. She won't talk to me, she will be really short with any response that she gives and it seems like she just wants to avoid me at all costs. Tbh I think it would be cool to get to know her more, as she is a really cool person from what I talked to her about but I don't really have feelings for her. Because of this, I don't feel awkward about the situation at all. When we hang out I've tried to ease my way into a conversation with her like everything was normal buuuuut that never seems to work. What can I do, if anything, to make her feel less awkward? I don't feel awkward at all and I'm sad that she feels that way. I understand that she might be awkwarded out because she was drunk and she feels that she made a mistake or she's grossed out or something but I have no feelings toward her and I would like to get everything to back to normal[/QUOTE] Just act her what's going on

How do you even start chatting with a girl you don't know or know for a few hours and haven't really talked lol. Like where do you go from after few basic questions without sounding too weird or going into too personal stuff

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51586954]In my book, if they're not married/engaged, then they're not taken[/QUOTE] Spoken like a true edgy teen I'd put money on you never having a relationship before.

[QUOTE=Marzipas;51617726]ye, this. I've never understood why people say wait x amount of days. if you had a good time, you had a good time, noone's going to look at their phone in disgust a few hours after a date when they see you've just messaged them saying you had fun[/QUOTE] Honestly I say it because I tend to be busy with my own hobbies or work and I assume it's the same for my date. It has nothing to do with feeling disgusted or whatnot. It's just I can get busy, I reckon it's the same for others.

Gonna put this in list format because it's easier for me now -Go on tinder date -Goes really really well -She leaves with family for a week -Texts me all the time saying she can't wait to see me again -finally gets back, we have a date set up -I had to postpone because I worked late -She said no problem and still wants to see me and she's excited -Unmatches me, stops responding -?

[QUOTE=Glitchman;51622584]Gonna put this in list format because it's easier for me now -Go on tinder date -Goes really really well -She leaves with family for a week -Texts me all the time saying she can't wait to see me again -finally gets back, we have a date set up -I had to postpone because I worked late -She said no problem and still wants to see me and she's excited -Unmatches me, stops responding -?[/QUOTE] She might have matched with some new guy, and is focusing on him instead. The problem with Tinder, is it gives people the idea that they have all these options for people to date. So they can drop anyone they meet almost instantly, because they see there's someone potentially better available. I texted the girl I went on that date with, a simple "I had a really great time last night :)" and she responded about 10 hours later with "Yeah it was fun." Right there I figured she wasn't feeling the way I was, but decided I might as well give it a shot and asked if she'd like to go out for dinner. She responds the next day, telling me she's still hung-up on her ex, and isn't ready to move on. It's all understandable, and I'm glad she didn't agree to a few more dates and allow stronger feelings to develop before she told me that. On to the next one I go!

How can you start gaining confidence? Is there a step by step tutorial for it?

[QUOTE=4yourmalice;51622885] I texted the girl I went on that date with, a simple "I had a really great time last night :)" and she responded about 10 hours later with "Yeah it was fun." Right there I figured she wasn't feeling the way I was, but decided I might as well give it a shot and asked if she'd like to go out for dinner. She responds the next day, telling me she's still hung-up on her ex, and isn't ready to move on. It's all understandable, and I'm glad she didn't agree to a few more dates and allow stronger feelings to develop before she told me that. On to the next one I go![/QUOTE] I had an experience exactly like this early last year. However, we went out on at least 5 dates before telling me that and stop responding my texts. [QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51622929]No, every single person is different. Just the basics: You have to enjoy your appearance, your attitude, and your general position in life.[/QUOTE] I'm going to die alone. :V

Once you're 30 and single the "die alone" thoughts become next-level real

[QUOTE=Glitchman;51623342]Once you're 30 and single the "die alone" thoughts become next-level real[/QUOTE] Stop using Tinder. Yeah it works for some people, but it's definitely not a good tool to create lasting relationships for the most of us. I would recommend meeting people through similar hobbies, interests etc. Join social clubs, events, etc. Hell,even help out doing charity, just go places and meet people. Tinder devalues relationships and there's so many people out there that will drop you so fast before even knowing you. It's honestly just hookups and shallow interest. I understand there are some exceptions out there and have creating some long lasting meaningful relationships, but i would definitely be putting it down as an exception to the rule, and not many people will come across that.

Hobbies? I work alone and it takes most of my time. I also live in one of the least populous places in the US. I had to turn to the online stuff because really it's the only way.

[QUOTE=Glitchman;51624813]Hobbies? I work alone and it takes most of my time. I also live in one of the least populous places in the US. I had to turn to the online stuff because really it's the only way.[/QUOTE] Well that really does suck, it'd be pretty tough finding someone in that predicament.

Edit. Wrong thread

im in a tight spot im gonna take this girl out but i literally only have 1 dollar in my wallet and I need some advice on some free shit to do for a first date. usually my go-to would be 'lets hit up the park' (bitches love parks) but its 2c degrees outside so that's kind of a last resort

hey as long as it's not pissing down rain with howling winds it could still be perfectly good

Feeling pretty low at the moment. I usually try to keep all my feelings pressed deep down, and it's worked so far, but today was just not the day. [B]Background:[/B] I'm 23, never had a date. Or, well, an "official" date (not one set up with any intentions). So, obviously no gf. I don't think I look too bad, but I don't get out a lot because my town is utter trash for young people. I'm convinced it's inhabited solely by kids, old people and mothers. There's three bars, all of them trash (one is even nicknamed "The Dive" so YA KNOW). The first college I went to is where I met the only girl I've loved and in hindsight also felt the same way. The second I went to (I did a different college course instead of going to university) was an entirely male class so no luck there. University was miserable. There was like, ~12 females to the ~70 males, all of whom were in relationships or gay, for the whole three years. I didn't go out alot in the first two years, but I did in the third year and met some great people, but Drunk Me doesn't really do the best of things, so I'd spend whole nights at a club with some fine looking ladies, then end it with "haha that was fun cya" and i'd scream myself to sleep when I realised what I just did. I've got a job now, and yeah sure there's some fine gals there but I'm not really sure if I want to mix work and private life, in case things go south. I like my work nice and boring and free of drama. Right, on to today. It's mostly to do with the first girl I mentioned. It's a typical story of a loser not reading the signs and missing an opportunity of a life time, we were very close, almost inseparable. One night we stayed up texting each other until four in the morning, for a grand total of [I]1,200 texts[/I] in one night. Anyway, she gets tired of waiting and moves on with her life, I spit my jealous dummy out like a bitch etc. ANYWAY, earlier last year, Drunk Me decides "Y'know what, I wonder what they're up to, let's friend them on Facebook." I'm almost certain they declined 'cause I could only ever see pages they liked, or the rare picture they'd post. And I just kept it around, don't know why. Any time I saw their name I felt a stinging pain coming up from my stomach. Maybe I thought it would give me confidence to say something, haha funny. Not so long ago I even saw them at Starbucks, and I just bugged out rather than say anything. (As an aside, dear god they'd changed, mainly they were almost fucking paralysed from the waist down. I thought it'd change the way I thought about them but it make me feel physically ill instead). Recently, they'd been liking those kinda posts about not forgetting old friends, remembering good times etc and again, I just brushed it off, y'know. They'd obviously moved on in life. But later today they posted a new profile pic and by god, they still look fucking amazing, and I thought "Right, gotta pull up your big boy pants and do it, apologise, and if things don't go right at least you tried.", typed out a message and all that. Then just deleted it. Removed them from my follow list and expunged all mention of them from my facebook. I just can't do it. I don't have any sort of social anxiety, I can talk to strangers and to crowds but just the thought of even talking to them makes my guts curl up into a knot. So, if I'm moving on, I don't even know where to begin. Most of the girls I'm interested in are either in relationships, or I highly suspect they are, or that even if we did hit it off, they'd find that outside of my warm, humorous exterior i'm a lazy fuck who spends his free time playing WoW/Diablo etc. and guzzling Mountain Dew and their reaction would pretty much be: [IMG]https://i.somethingawful.com/forumsystem/emoticons/emot-wtc.gif[/IMG] any advice? might as well start trying to change things now while it's the start of the year.

Wtf the girl that complained i cant be contacted declined my facebook invite. Fuck me thats one way to get blocked, playing a fucking mystery.