Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51781380]Yeah, but that's the best time to meet people - when you have 0 expectations for how things will play out. You can live in the moment and just enjoy talking to people for its own sake.[/QUOTE] Living in the moment is kinda hard to do rn. Now that graduation is looming, I'm starting to fully realize how much I loathe school. I especially hate my major (computer science). Having to go to bullshit lectures and doing worthless assignments all the time makes it kinda hard to stop and smell the roses. It's so taxing on the mind. I can't think about the things I want to think about.

[QUOTE=Trillo Lillo;51786847]Play videogames, digital animation and drawing[/QUOTE] Can I see any of your drawings/animations :o

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;51788422]Can I see any of your drawings/animations :o[/QUOTE] Sure, I'll pm you

My girlfriend lives 5 hours away from me and I haven't seen her in 2 weeks and will not see her until this month is over, she's working on a weird scheudle, so we barely text. She says she can live with this, but she notices that I do not like this situation at all, I even tell her that I need to see, feel and talk with the person I am with, she responds by telling me that during the year it will be the same or worse, since we will be very very busy with university, and we won't even have classes together anymore, so we will probably talk very little during the year. Sincerely, I can't be with someone if the talking-very-little-thing lasts indefenitely (She sounds pretty convinced that it will be the case, but I don't even know) and I feel I'm the only one who feels like this. I think I need some perspective on this, since I feel that my point of view is biased towards seeing only the bad things.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;51791173]My girlfriend lives 5 hours away from me and I haven't seen her in 2 weeks and will not see her until this month is over, she's working on a weird scheudle, so we barely text. She says she can live with this, but she notices that I do not like this situation at all, I even tell her that I need to see, feel and talk with the person I am with, she responds by telling me that during the year it will be the same or worse, since we will be very very busy with university, and we won't even have classes together anymore, so we will probably talk very little during the year. Sincerely, I can't be with someone if the talking-very-little-thing lasts indefenitely (She sounds pretty convinced that it will be the case, but I don't even know) and I feel I'm the only one who feels like this. I think I need some perspective on this, since I feel that my point of view is biased towards seeing only the bad things.[/QUOTE] It's pretty similar for me here. My girlfriend's in college, while I'm basically going between part time work (the only work option available for me rn) and online courses, and a lot of the time, it feels like she doesn't care much about spending time with me, even though I know that's not the case and it's just not as fulfilling as spending time with friends due to the distance. Are you still going to be 5 hours apart for university? If so, there's little chance it will be much better, but you need to talk about it with her more and decide on a compromise that fits both of you guys and you feel you can work with. While it's not optimal, if you think she's worth it, then by all means, it's worth going for.

For past few years and recently more frequently I've been having random thoughts about migrating. I just feel like Ireland isn't working out for me, I can do well in career aspect but the rest (social life, relationships, general feeling) is just shit. I only have two years working experience in IT though, currently on 45k a year but it feels like no matter how much I keep getting salary increase or promotion - I wont be happy here. My countries for consideration were: Canada, Iceland and Norway. From those you may think - why those? Well here is my logic: I love snow and cold (I mean absolutely fucking love it, I've travelled to French alps (until I got into legal shit and doubt I can go back) twice and now going to Austria next month. Ireland is shit because weather is mixed here, the cities feel way too old, abandoned? So: Norway: Good Economy, Good weather, spectacular culture and nature and just generally feels like neutral country (same as Ireland). But I don't know any Norwegian, I am only proficient in English, Russian, Ukrainian and Latvian. Canada: Same good points as Norway but problem here is that I heard it's extremely difficult to get in and to stay. Iceland: Not really sure, I guess because it's a remote location and feels away from everybody and also my type of climate. I am 23 but I am tired of Ireland for past 10 years of being here, feels like I am driven into depression :v: But it feels like a massive step and I don't even know where to begin the transition.

No, we're in the same university, but our scheudles will be so different that we may as well be 5 hours apart. I really need to talk this well with her, but all the means of communication we have is texting, and with her, it's hard to discuss important stuff via text since we have A LOT of misunderstandings.

So currently I'm in the sort of transition period between two SSRI's and I'm super fucked up, and yet I've been more communicative than ever with this girl I'm into, so basically I'm sitting here, she's actually being super open about something serious in her life and then there's that part of me that I can't control tugging at my pant leg. Going "Hey guy, remember me, it's been years! Oh yeah she also hates you" At least I got a somewhat serious conversation while this was going on. Fucking kill me.

[QUOTE=Milksprain;51791672]Hi, I'm Norwegian! You definitely don't need to speak any Norwegian at all to live in Norway. Everyone knows English. TV / films aren't dubbed unless it's for children and we're taught English from we're seven so everyone, except the eldest generation speaks and understands it very well.[/QUOTE] But I assume working requires proficient Norwegian?

Anyone help me with a message for one of those cards that go with flowers? Not for a girlfriend just a long term friend, want Message with a theme of encouragement, new start/new life but not overbearing I find it hard to express myself especially in written form I would ask her out but it's not good timing because if she agreed i will be in a situation where trust would be almost Impossible next month

[QUOTE=Blueridge;51787728]so im trying to get "in" in the circle of japanese students at my university, i met some of them while i was in japan and we've gone to the mall before the semester started right now ive been messaging the guys mostly but ive been thinking about messaging the girls in the group too. theres two girls in the group i think i cute, ive been talking to one of them but the other one gives me this weird feeling that prevents me from messaging her. idk, its like im scared or something. she hasn't done anything to make me thing bad of her, the only thing we've really done is i helped her find hand sanitizer in the target at the mall we were at while she asked me questions about america and where i come from. it's like theres something in me preventing me from doing what should be a simple task but i cant do it. a friend said it might be a crush but i doubt it because i usually have different reactions on crushes, plus ive known the other girl for longer so if anything i have a bigger crush on her.[/QUOTE] Just do it, what's the worst that could happen? It's just talking. You're not going to get closer if you don't talk to them.

[QUOTE=arleitiss;51791692]But I assume working requires proficient Norwegian?[/QUOTE] Depends on the job type, don't think it'd be a big problem IT.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;51791173]My girlfriend lives 5 hours away from me and I haven't seen her in 2 weeks and will not see her until this month is over, she's working on a weird scheudle, so we barely text. She says she can live with this, but she notices that I do not like this situation at all, I even tell her that I need to see, feel and talk with the person I am with, she responds by telling me that during the year it will be the same or worse, since we will be very very busy with university, and we won't even have classes together anymore, so we will probably talk very little during the year. Sincerely, I can't be with someone if the talking-very-little-thing lasts indefenitely (She sounds pretty convinced that it will be the case, but I don't even know) and I feel I'm the only one who feels like this. I think I need some perspective on this, since I feel that my point of view is biased towards seeing only the bad things.[/QUOTE] If she doesn't even have time to text you she's choosing not to. No one ever has 0 time in the world, they just choose to do other things. If she's telling you it's going to be the same shit for the next year, dump her man, you're wasting your own time and your feelings. It's going to weigh down on you a lot.

Don't you just hate it when a good friend of yours loses a certain character trait because they met their SO, fell in love and changed in a really short period of time

Bit of an issue On Saturday I was talking to this chick friend, we'd been getting closer as friends as she rejected me previously, she'd been up front about it Jokingly I said I would come over with food to watch a movie but after a few messages it became serious. I had no intention to go at her place bringing food just the two of us (her parents were home but i'd have been the only other person there) because to me that's something you do with your loved one I ended up telling her I wasn't feeling like doing it and now she's been ignoring me I don't wish to become too attached to her but at the same time I somewhat already am since I'm typing this message now I don't know if I should let her be

Just let her be, she sounds like she just might be after attention. Especially after ignoring you when you turned her down, which must be a shock for her. basic bitch bruh

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;51793347]If she doesn't even have time to text you she's choosing not to. No one ever has 0 time in the world, they just choose to do other things. If she's telling you it's going to be the same shit for the next year, dump her man, you're wasting your own time and your feelings. It's going to weigh down on you a lot.[/QUOTE] Maybe I redacted it wrong to give that impression, but she works from 5 pm to 4 am, so she wakes up pretty late and homestly, the thing that bothers me most is not knowing when we will see each other, you know, to date and have fun. About the year, I think I'm the one that will be busy the most, I took like 2 extra classes and one class requieres me to go to an observatory at the other side of the city (I chose this, too), without mentioning that I apllied for an assistant teacher spot , with a high chance of getting it (I don't know if you guys have those, they basically teach how to solve problems with students about the content of the class). So yeah, maybe I shouldn't have done that given that I'm in a relationship, but the last tjing I want is a relationship affecting my academic decisions. [editline]8th February 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=damnatus;51793448]Don't you just hate it when a good friend of yours loses a certain character trait because they met their SO, fell in love and changed in a really short period of time[/QUOTE] That happens a lot, honestly, but it's eventually going to pass, hopefully soon.

It might be worthwhile to break it off then dude. Get your academic life out of the way and if you are really meant to be, you can hit it off again in the future. It's not like you're having a successful relationship at the moment and it's a strain on both of you which may make it end badly. [editline]8th February 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=Milksprain;51794009]Maybe she genuinely just wanted to hang out with you and felt let down when you suddenly didn't want to follow through with it. Just give her some space, it's not the end of the world.[/QUOTE] Felt down doesn't mean you should ignore someone. If you want to play games with people then you aren't worth the time. You don't reject someone and then accept their advances suddenly at a later date and then get annoyed when you get rejected (even though he didn't even do that.) That aint cool

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;51794116]Felt down doesn't mean you should ignore someone. If you want to play games with people then you aren't worth the time. You don't reject someone and then accept their advances suddenly at a later date and then get annoyed when you get rejected (even though he didn't even do that.) That aint cool[/QUOTE] I think the same as Milksprain, however there's something I should add to the story a few months ago we had this discussion where she told me she wouldnt go out with me by herself because she wasnt comfortable being alone with me either she got over it or the fact that her parents would be home comforted her, however I dont think she should ignore me when I feel uncomfortable being "alone" with her

I don't understand why she would feel uncomfortable?? Does she have anxiety issues or something? and exactly, on the return side, you'd feel uncomfortable being alone in someone elses house when her parents are home too. Has she had boyfriends before? Does she know why you turned her down?

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;51794348]I don't understand why she would feel uncomfortable?? Does she have anxiety issues or something? and exactly, on the return side, you'd feel uncomfortable being alone in someone elses house when her parents are home too. Has she had boyfriends before? Does she know why you turned her down?[/QUOTE] I dont think she has? I just think at the time she hadnt bonded with me enough, which is totally understandable as I'm the first one who wouldnt go out alone with someone I dont feel comfortable with she's had a couple boyfriends but she says she hasnt had sex yet, but that's not the issue I think she didnt give me a chance to explain, as soon as I said I didnt feel like coming over she said goodnight I left her alone for a couple days, yesterday I sent a neutral message but she just read without replying

Then what I said above still stands. Someone playing games with you isn't worth the time of day. If you liked someone and they liked you back, there would be none of this. and if she hasn't bonded you yet why is she asking you to come round???? I'd expect a "why don't we go on a date instead" rather than inviting round to your house.

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;51794116]It might be worthwhile to break it off then dude. Get your academic life out of the way and if you are really meant to be, you can hit it off again in the future. It's not like you're having a successful relationship at the moment and it's a strain on both of you which may make it end badly. [/QUOTE] Well, my academic life will never be put of the way since I'm studying astronomy andnit's a very important thing to me. Do you think it's possible to have a good stable relationship without it affecting other sectors of your life?

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;51794116]It might be worthwhile to break it off then dude. Get your academic life out of the way and if you are really meant to be, you can hit it off again in the future. It's not like you're having a successful relationship at the moment and it's a strain on both of you which may make it end badly. [editline]8th February 2017[/editline] Felt down doesn't mean you should ignore someone. If you want to play games with people then you aren't worth the time. You don't reject someone and then accept their advances suddenly at a later date and then get annoyed when you get rejected (even though he didn't even do that.) That aint cool[/QUOTE] How are you both getting 'advances' and 'date' from this? You offered to hang out with her and bring some food. Unless your both clear it's a date anyone else would just assume it's hanging out with a friend. Blowing this way out of proportion.

Depends what was specifically said and the context but the vibe I got was not a friend, movie and food. and you don't ignore someone after they say no to coming round to watch a movie and food when it's a friend thing. It would be more understandable but not acceptable for her to ignore you if you turned her down and it was a 'date' kind of thing but if she is ignoring you and it's a friend pizza/movie then that's just stupid and even more of a reason to get rid. [editline]8th February 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=Cosa8888;51794594]Well, my academic life will never be put of the way since I'm studying astronomy andnit's a very important thing to me. Do you think it's possible to have a good stable relationship without it affecting other sectors of your life?[/QUOTE] Yeah it is possible but at a critical time like this it's really hard to have one, especially when you're both busy and it will be for a long time. You might ruin whatever spark you both have if you continue on with the way it currently is since it sounds like a huge strain on you both.

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;51794680]Depends what was specifically said and the context but the vibe I got was not a friend, movie and food. and you don't ignore someone after they say no to coming round to watch a movie and food when it's a friend thing. It would be more understandable but not acceptable for her to ignore you if you turned her down and it was a 'date' kind of thing but if she is ignoring you and it's a friend pizza/movie then that's just stupid and even more of a reason to get rid. [editline]8th February 2017[/editline] Yeah it is possible but at a critical time like this it's really hard to have one, especially when you're both busy and it will be for a long time. You might ruin whatever spark you both have if you continue on with the way it currently is since it sounds like a huge strain on you both.[/QUOTE] He was the one that brought up the idea of hanging out with her, then when she said yes he bailed. You keep saying it's because she's pissed he rejected her, I don't see that anywhere. And it's only been two days. That's hardly ignoring someone. Again you're blowing it out of proportion suggestion the friendship is over now.

[QUOTE=plunger435;51794644]How are you both getting 'advances' and 'date' from this? You offered to hang out with her and bring some food. Unless your both clear it's a date anyone else would just assume it's hanging out with a friend. Blowing this way out of proportion.[/QUOTE] it wasn't a date, she had literally told me she is not interested in me as a bf and I didn't offer anything, I meant it as a joke but apparently she just really liked the idea that she decided to do it I mean she was gonna stay home on the couch watching some movie with or without me I also feel like adding that I have never hanged out with someone just the two of us, literally the only one was my ex so I'm still new to it all and she is not someone I'd do anything with just by ourselves [editline]8th February 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=plunger435;51794707]He was the one that brought up the idea of hanging out with her, then when she said yes he bailed. You keep saying it's because she's pissed he rejected her, I don't see that anywhere. And it's only been two days. That's hardly ignoring someone. Again you're blowing it out of proportion suggestion the friendship is over now.[/QUOTE] when did I say the friendship's over I only wanted to ask if you felt like I needed to fix it or just wait it out

Why would you suddenly stop speaking to someone after they said they don't want to hang out?? A main thing we need to know is how long have you been friends? Do you meet up? Talk everyday/odd day? Hang it with a group or solo?

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;51794736]Why would you suddenly stop speaking to someone after they said they don't want to hang out?? [B]A main thing we need to know is how long have you been friends? Do you meet up? Talk everyday/odd day? Hang it with a group or solo?[/B][/QUOTE] They haven't spoken in two days. You're acting like she blocked him on all social media. And that second part is exactly what I mean by blowing it out of proportion.

and just wait it out, carry on with your own stuff. If she's actually just wanting to be friends and that's it then she should be fine. Though if she has actually stopped speaking to you after you said you didn't want to hang out (because of the reason you said) then that's really petty. You always have time to message people anyway and the only reason you don't is because you don't want to, end of. Everyone's done it at some point. [editline]8th February 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=plunger435;51794752]They haven't spoken in two days. You're acting like she blocked him on all social media. And that second part is exactly what I mean by blowing it out of proportion.[/QUOTE] The second part is getting more information on what the situation actually is since I don't know whether I'm coming or going. and, two days is a long time, she's read his message aswell. Depends on how 'close' friends they are, if they're acquaintances fair enough no issue.