Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

No formalities what You have the power to change the relationship with your parents if you really want to or you can carry on treating them like they don't mean much to you. Money won't mean jack to your parents in comparison to a kiss/hug dude

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;51854487]No formalities what You have the power to change the relationship with your parents if you really want to or you can carry on treating them like they don't mean much to you. Money won't mean jack to your parents in comparison to a kiss/hug dude[/QUOTE] I know and I don't really know why I feel that way but I've felt like that since I can remember my early days

Then you should try to do something about it. I understand how it's engrained into you since you've been doing it since you're a kid but it probably upsets your parents a lot.

Perhaps you should tell them this, and allow them to ask questions.

I wish we were able to hangout today but she's working late. I like being around her and I think we should hang out more.

man dating is exhausting I've been talking to this girl and I asked her out and she said yes, but then we were flirting and she was talking about cheap flights to cambodia, and I was like wow, now I need to make sure that our night beats partying at cambodia, and if I can't do that, then we might as well just go to cambodia for our first date haha funny joke, then she stopped replying idk what the hell is that about

[QUOTE=killerteacup;51855694]man dating is exhausting I've been talking to this girl and I asked her out and she said yes, but then we were flirting and she was talking about cheap flights to cambodia, and I was like wow, now I need to make sure that our night beats partying at cambodia, and if I can't do that, then we might as well just go to cambodia for our first date haha funny joke, then she stopped replying idk what the hell is that about[/QUOTE] Did you ask her out in person, and I'm assuming the flirting is being done via messaging of some sort? People are probably gonna disagree with me here (they always did back in the day when I was more frequent in these kinds of threads) but in my experience, it's very easy to make the flame burn out before you even get on the road. Basically, when you ask someone out, they're at a small peak of interest with you. The more time passes between you getting a "yes," and actually going out, the more that interest is going to wane. Non-physical interaction also has this effect, talking in person most likely isn't gonna make it die out, but I've found messaging too much via text or online or whatever before the date is a good way to burn her/him out before it comes around. Ways to avoid this: When you ask someone out, make it for a near-future time. As in, instead of asking them to do something next week, make it this weekend. It might put more pressure on their schedule, but it reduces the amount of time they have to develop second thoughts. Reduce the amount of non-physical interaction with that person between getting the yes and the actual date. I know it can be tough, you get the yes, you're fucking hyped, and you just wanna talk to them all the time oh man I'm so excited for that date. You're gonna burn them out more often than not. Take a breather, if you see them in person then chat away, but don't sit there and message them every day. If they're initiating it, cool beans, but otherwise just relax. You got the date and it will most likely happen, the arrow is on the trajectory for a bullseye don't sit there and try to make adjustments because you're excited, you're gonna fuck it up.

[QUOTE=MaverickIB;51856324]Did you ask her out in person, and I'm assuming the flirting is being done via messaging of some sort? People are probably gonna disagree with me here (they always did back in the day when I was more frequent in these kinds of threads) but in my experience, it's very easy to make the flame burn out before you even get on the road. Basically, when you ask someone out, they're at a small peak of interest with you. The more time passes between you getting a "yes," and actually going out, the more that interest is going to wane. Non-physical interaction also has this effect, talking in person most likely isn't gonna make it die out, but I've found messaging too much via text or online or whatever before the date is a good way to burn her/him out before it comes around. Ways to avoid this: When you ask someone out, make it for a near-future time. As in, instead of asking them to do something next week, make it this weekend. It might put more pressure on their schedule, but it reduces the amount of time they have to develop second thoughts. Reduce the amount of non-physical interaction with that person between getting the yes and the actual date. I know it can be tough, you get the yes, you're fucking hyped, and you just wanna talk to them all the time oh man I'm so excited for that date. You're gonna burn them out more often than not. Take a breather, if you see them in person then chat away, but don't sit there and message them every day. If they're initiating it, cool beans, but otherwise just relax. You got the date and it will most likely happen, the arrow is on the trajectory for a bullseye don't sit there and try to make adjustments because you're excited, you're gonna fuck it up.[/QUOTE] This is via dating app, I asked her out after about a week of messaging, set it for this Thursday False alarm tho as it turns out she was having phone troubles, she got through to me, told me and gave me her number to prevent future problems. So nvm we are good

Man, If there's something I hate more than being flat out rejected is being ghosted by the girl that seemed to be into you. Is pretty much the same feeling you get when you study a entire month for a test just to get a 0 on your report card. I'm seriously thinking of just focusing on my professional carrer. I already wasted too much time with stupid shit like this.

sent a message asking if she wanted to hang out yesterday, no response so basically im done for now. id like to imagine this would be much easier if i was in her friend circle a bit more(i know of some of her friends and talk to them, but we do little together besides that). if she sends me a message, or if i see her in person by chance then great, but i feel like it's pointless for me to keep trying until either of those things happen. there's a field trip coming up this weekend that im going to, she might go as well but im not sure. if she does though then ill know for sure where i stand with her, otherwise ill be enjoying the trip with some friends i met in japan edit:not even an hour after posting this and beginning to give up she sends a message saying she'd be down for hanging out holy shit i cant handle this rollercoaster

I hope I never lose her as a friend I would be really upset. I shouldn't worry about that though. It's just it causes me anxiety

For the first time in awhile I have a pretty active social life with different groups of friends and that feels pretty nice. I'm typically really introverted which is fine, but I do enjoy hanging out with people.

I had a while due to my ex and then later just existing in Mississippi were I was not socially active in real life at all. Haven't really made any random friends here yet but I hang out with work people a few days a week at the minimum and do pretty much everything with them.

I don't have much of a social life. I only hang out with the girl I like but that's fine with me.

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;51860839]I don't have much of a social life. I only hang out with the girl I like but that's fine with me.[/QUOTE] Being friends with just one compatible person is nice, but don't forget to always expand your horizons! Surrounding yourself with those who can offer multiple perspectives and come from different walks of life can only improve your abilities- good friends are a priceless boon.

[QUOTE=arleitiss;51844613]Welp, new shit happened in my life (3rd time this week) The girl I used to like - is getting engaged. We dont talk for past 3 years and it makes no difference to me but still makes me feel depressed. On a bright side: I restored my social networks because someone knowing that I like someone is now least of my sources of stress...[/QUOTE] is a bit of a downer, and kind of a masked trick. We tend to compare our lifes and feel this kind of urge and sadness about the ones you had interest about getting now to the point they achieved something i feel im years away of achieving: real love and a relationship. Yesterday i was sad for the silliest thing in the world. My ex who i know its been in a relationship for at least a couple months changer her facebook status to point out she is in a relationship with her new boyfriend. Instant feeling of anxiety and failure, like if im not on that point it means shes better or something. I realize though, that my life has been very different to hers, and i have learnt a shit ton. Its been the most fulfilling time of my life. That doesnt mean the happiest, but i have grown so much im literally somebody else, in the best of ways. And, to be honest, if i still feel kinda sad about the breakup, even a little envy (sometimes for sexiest reason like "sure, pretty women have it better since she dated all the men she wanted because ovbiously no one is gonna tell no to her) i realize that while i have these feelings, im not gonna be able to be that open in a new relationship. Like what, im gonna feel a little down about my ex and im gonna be unable to tell the girl im dating why im feeling that way? Best you can do is take the pain, relax, and not let it have an impact in your life decisions, like feeling you have to date people just because your ex is dating someone. My life is a very different place, and the path im walking is going into another directions, and for the best so why change that because someones having a happy life?

[QUOTE=autodesknoob;51864465]is a bit of a downer, and kind of a masked trick. We tend to compare our lifes and feel this kind of urge and sadness about the ones you had interest about getting now to the point they achieved something i feel im years away of achieving: real love and a relationship. Yesterday i was sad for the silliest thing in the world. My ex who i know its been in a relationship for at least a couple months changer her facebook status to point out she is in a relationship with her new boyfriend. Instant feeling of anxiety and failure, like if im not on that point it means shes better or something. I realize though, that my life has been very different to hers, and i have learnt a shit ton. Its been the most fulfilling time of my life. That doesnt mean the happiest, but i have grown so much im literally somebody else, in the best of ways. And, to be honest, if i still feel kinda sad about the breakup, even a little envy (sometimes for sexiest reason like "sure, pretty women have it better since she dated all the men she wanted because ovbiously no one is gonna tell no to her) i realize that while i have these feelings, im not gonna be able to be that open in a new relationship. Like what, im gonna feel a little down about my ex and im gonna be unable to tell the girl im dating why im feeling that way? Best you can do is take the pain, relax, and not let it have an impact in your life decisions, like feeling you have to date people just because your ex is dating someone. My life is a very different place, and the path im walking is going into another directions, and for the best so why change that because someones having a happy life?[/QUOTE] There's nothing sexist about admitting that women more easily obtain relationships then men because that's a fact. However, what I do like is that you're able to rationalize this fact, accept it, and move on. Whenever I want to feel better about some problem, I rationalize it. Women have it easier obtaining relationships because that's just the way society is set up, and there isn't much anyone can do about it. It also means you can't compare yourself to women because men have their own standards. You should compare yourself to other men instead, although preferably, you should set your own standards. Overall, you have a great attitude towards your situation, an atittude I share myself.

Oh boy! I thought I was the only one that believed that woman usually get in relationships easier than men do. Glad to hear I'm not alone on that topic.

There's also the fact that the one constant and possibly most shared thought in humanity is probably "pussy" doesnt help us men

[QUOTE=SebiWarrior;51865092]There's also the fact that the one constant and possibly most shared thought in humanity is probably "pussy" doesnt help us men[/QUOTE] Well when the average dudebro's dating advice comes from manswers and the crew at Buffalo wild wings, its easier to see where this comes from in the modern sense.

[QUOTE=killerteacup;51856853]This is via dating app, I asked her out after about a week of messaging, set it for this Thursday False alarm tho as it turns out she was having phone troubles, she got through to me, told me and gave me her number to prevent future problems. So nvm we are good[/QUOTE] Update: she looked different to her pics, but I didn't want to blow her off so we went out and got drunk. Really drunk. I have nail marks in my neck now and I regret the whole experience

[QUOTE=C. Blades;51865176]Well when the average dudebro's dating advice comes from manswers and the crew at Buffalo wild wings, its easier to see where this comes from in the modern sense.[/QUOTE] Thought you said "man sewers" at first.

A GIRL JUST CAME UP TO ME AND GAVE ME HER NU<MBER WHAURG#%B$K!!! Gonna wait three days. That's the rule right?

[QUOTE=Zombinie;51866201]A GIRL JUST CAME UP TO ME AND GAVE ME HER NU<MBER WHAURG#%B$K!!! Gonna wait three days. That's the rule right?[/QUOTE] I would personally do something sooner than later

[QUOTE=da space core;51866320]I would personally do something sooner than later[/QUOTE] Two days? She said to text her "this weekend" I am going to "help her study", but then what do I do?

[QUOTE=Zombinie;51866366]Two days? She said to text her "this weekend"[/QUOTE] The three day rule just basically equates to "don't come off as needy and be there 24/7" - you can text her sooner than that without coming off as too needy or eager. In this case, waiting a few hours would be fine I bet. Just... you know, have other stuff going on in your life too and don't stop everything to roll out the carpet for her if she talks to you.

[QUOTE=Zombinie;51866201]A GIRL JUST CAME UP TO ME AND GAVE ME HER NU<MBER WHAURG#%B$K!!! Gonna wait three days. That's the rule right?[/QUOTE] text her now

[QUOTE=KillRay;51866384]text her now[/QUOTE] Well I mean she gave me the number asking me to text her later so we could study together (I asked her friend and apparently she totally wants to go out with me). What would I text? "Looking forward to studying in two days?" like nothing is planned until then so what would I even say?

[QUOTE=KillRay;51866384]text her now[/QUOTE] Yeah, I'm with KillRay in this case. As I said, just don't [I]always[/I] be super quick to respond each time. People suggest things like three day rule in the first place because it's supposed to show that you have other things going on in your life. [editline]23rd February 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=Zombinie;51866406]Well I mean she gave me the number asking me to text her later so we could study together (I asked her friend and apparently she totally wants to go out with me). What would I text? "Looking forward to studying in two days?" like nothing is planned until then so what would I even say?[/QUOTE] Just lead in with small talk, but avoid starting off with "looking forward to studying" as that's kinda awkward to start a first time text conversation with. If you don't know her but she "wants to study" then she might be leading into an excuse for you to visit. If you share a mutual class, it might be both - meaning, she does wanna study [I]some[/I] but also wants to have you over. The context of your post is a bit vague; you make it sound like a random encounter at first, but then you mention knowing her friend?

[QUOTE=BlindSniper17;51866426] If you don't know her but she "wants to study" then she might be leading into an excuse for you to visit. If you share a mutual class, it might be both - meaning, she does wanna study [I]some[/I] but also wants to have you over. The context of your post is a bit vague; you make it sound like a random encounter at first, but then you mention knowing her friend?[/QUOTE] Should have explained more Yes, we share a class, but according to her friend and her demeanor this is much more than an interest in just studying. (also I would never actually say "looking forward to studying" that was a bad example on purpose to show how lost I am) I think I will just say something along the lines of "Hey this is X, is this the right number?" just to get the first text out of the way for more context, we are both Freshman in college living in the same dorm, and I do actually plan on studying together in a lounge, she does not seem like the kind of lady to "have me over" off the bat like that