Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

Not at all, just don't do it in a situation that might get her uncomfortable (Unable to run away), i.e. class.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;51878046]Not at all, just do it in a situation that might get her uncomfortable (Unable to run away), i.e. class.[/QUOTE] you mean.. don't? right? because i'm not gonna attempt to make her uncomfortable [editline]26th February 2017[/editline] i mean it'd be fun and all but she'd probably stab me with a fork or something

Honestly, just asking for a her number won't do you any harm. I done this to mutiple girls and never once got " I don't remember my number " or been given a fake number. last girl I asked gave me her number no problem and that was before I even knew she already had a boyfriend. It's even easier for you since you two are in the same work group and have the excuse to exchange numbers.

[QUOTE=moshimoshi;51878098]you mean.. don't? right? because i'm not gonna attempt to make her uncomfortable [editline]26th February 2017[/editline] i mean it'd be fun and all but she'd probably stab me with a fork or something[/QUOTE] Shit, I forget my don'ts sorry

Just ask for it on the way out of class. Gives her an easy out and doesn't make it awkward.

So, basically, my best friend for 10 years is unable to deal with interpersonal issues and his method of approaching them is basically ignoring them, and taking offense if the other party tries to tackle them, answering with just silence and maybe an immature joke. Guy has this tendency to show support by saying whatever the other party may want to hear; no harsh truths, no arguments, nothing; just silence and distance if he feels wronged, but not even a mention of his feelings, and he seems to expect the same in return. He already lost contact with some of his best friends as well: One of them, after he spent a whole week trying to get her to do a 100 km trip to go to an event, got annoyed due to him wanting to go home when said event was still underway because he was somewhat ill, and he decided to cut contact because "how dare her get annoyed, I was there for her when she was ill!". Another one, he felt betrayed because said friend rolled with a jab about some UST rather than going out and defending him (despite said jab being a friendly one), had the typical arguments a couple have with his girlfriend, and was apologetic about landing a job. And I just can't be supportive anymore. The guy is full on paranoid about his circle of friends due to percieved betrayals, at his 27 years he uses denial as the main way to deal with emotional issues, his relationship with his 19 year old girlfriend is pretty much based on telling her how great everything she does is (because arguments are bad or something), and it is just not worth it. I drove him a total of 800 km in a single summer as favors for couple issues, yet he never felt like going to the beach next to home. If I had reacted like he does to stuff he dislikes, I would have cut contact years ago, but, of course, that would be ridiculously petty. Now, I am tired. I am tired of paranoia, I am tired of listening but never being listened, I am tired of swallow feedback. And, the tripping point, was him taking 15 minutes to reply to a heartfell rebuttal with an "I only know I am hungry lol". After he started the conversation, and after years of priding himself on having some depth. Guess he took to heart the advice somebody almost 8 years his junior told him when they started dating, "don't be so serious". And thus he started to type that way, because who needs self-identity when the person you are trying to please tells you to do stuff in a way. And venting done. I'd like to be able to help him get his shit together, but to fix those issues you ought to stop pretending they don't exist.

I can't stop thinking about this girl. We're best friends but we do stuff a normal couple does. It's kind of a complicated relationship but it works

How long have you known her?

We used to go to school together and I sent her a friend request on Facebook awhile ago and then she messaged me. We have been talking everyday and got really close with each other.

As long as you two are both in it for the same reasons. If not, watch that infatuation, fam.

I'm sure we will do good. What we have right now is really great. I think we're both in for the same reason

[QUOTE=usaokay;51880909]When is the best time to ask a girl out?[/QUOTE] Yesterday, and if you didn't do it yesterday. As soon as possible. I'm assuming you and this girl already know eachother a little and have spent atleast some time together?

So the woman I was going to go rock climbing with next Sunday invited me to do something this week instead. I am currently laughing at the fact that my first lesbian date is now going to be in a trampoline park.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51882990]What is it that made you consider a lesbian date?[/QUOTE] maybe she's a lesbian

probably the fact she likes girls I guess [editline]27th February 2017[/editline] fuk

Lots of reasons that I've done a very good job of ignoring for the past... 13 years or so. I've always been more attracted to women, but all of the women I've had crushes on in the past have been straight so I never really explored that. I've always been super embarrassed about the possibility of seeming "creepy" to girls I was attracted to. I've also always had a much easier time getting along with guys but I'm realizing that it's partly because I really don't give a fuck about what guys think of me because I don't want anything from them. Out of all of the men I have dated, I have been sexually attracted to precisely one of them. Except for that one, pretty much every romantic relationship I have been in has basically been me saying "yeah, alright" because I enjoyed the guy's company and was ambivalent enough about the idea of sex to just go with it.

Got a tinder match and she messaged me first (surprisingly not a bot!) because she's into the Grateful Dead like me, we got to talking about it and other things and have been talking off an on. Already I'm starting to crush on this girl and I don't like it. Seeing as she messaged me first and we've had a pretty good conversation I think my chances are decent, I'm just not really sure how to proceed from here. She's also a freshman and I'm a junior. Don't know if I should ask her out to coffee, or just to hang out or what. I guess I'll figure it out. Fuck, I forgot how nerve-wracking this stupid game is...

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;51884004]Got a tinder match and she messaged me first (surprisingly not a bot!) because she's into the Grateful Dead like me, we got to talking about it and other things and have been talking off an on. Already I'm starting to crush on this girl and I don't like it. Seeing as she messaged me first and we've had a pretty good conversation I think my chances are decent, I'm just not really sure how to proceed from here. She's also a freshman and I'm a junior. Don't know if I should ask her out to coffee, or just to hang out or what. I guess I'll figure it out. Fuck, I forgot how nerve-wracking this stupid game is...[/QUOTE] Ask her out for a drink

[QUOTE=killerteacup;51884069]Ask her out for a drink[/QUOTE] I would but she's underage and I'm on probation and can't drink. [editline]27th February 2017[/editline] Also forgot to mention she takes a while to reply sometimes and while logically I know that's no big deal my brain won't stop nagging me that it means she's not interested.

update from last time i posted i met her last week at the same spot again and we talked for a bit. as we left i asked her if she wanted to go to the outlet mall nearby, she said yes but later in the week she told me that she thought it would be a good idea if other japanese students could come and see the mall (i never said it was a date or just us or anything so i had this coming, also a friend said she might have felt uncomfortable getting in a car with me as we don't know each other too well yet), so i invited the other girls i met in japan and i drove them to the mall. i didn't really know what to do or say, i just stayed in the mens section of the stores we went to while they checked everything out. we went to a restaurant and i talked some more but my awkwardness was preventing me from saying too much. shes going out of state for spring break and there's a bunch of midterms/labs i have this week so i probably won't see her until after break. after that though ill try asking her out on a date. i'm guessing if she's willing to hang out and do things like go to the mall she at least thinks of me as a friend, but i have a hard time guessing if she likes me any more than that. might as well end the guessing and find out for myself

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;51884164]I would but she's underage and I'm on probation and can't drink. [editline]27th February 2017[/editline] Also forgot to mention she takes a while to reply sometimes and while logically I know that's no big deal my brain won't stop nagging me that it means she's not interested.[/QUOTE] Dunno if this is just where I live, but at my work I often get dates that don't drink any alcohol. They have a cup of thee or coffee and just talk for hours. Maybe that's something for you?

Most of the dates I've been on have just been to coffee shops. I personally prefer being sober when I'm trying to make a good impression.

depends what's around you I guess. pretty much the only social thing to do where I live is drink. there's the occasional gig, but they're held in pubs for the most part, which leads to drinking. such is life in the middle of the north sea

I fucked up. I got all emotional while texting a girl and ended up sounding like a complete jackass without thinking of the context of the conversation. Got quite the reaction from her. I already apologized but I don't feel it was enough. I'm thinking about asking about how was her holiday next week and apologize again for being a brainless idiot.

And now she hasn't responded in a while. I think I bored her. RIP. This is my main gripe with tinder. If I meet a girl in person I feel I have much better chances, because I'm a more engaging and funny person in person compared to over text.

I told her I'll always be there for her and that made her really happy. I'm not going to fuck up with our friendship and I'm sure she will stay around for awhile. Im trying to do right by her.

soo much fucking drama happened over the last few days with my friends, and while im not directly involved, it is still weird to see it unfold it requires so much context and explaining, akin to the length of a short book. all i can say is only 1 of both of them is a snake and i put it on my fucking life that it is who i think it is

[QUOTE=sourcegamer101;51893148]soo much fucking drama happened over the last few days with my friends, and while im not directly involved, it is still weird to see it unfold it requires so much context and explaining, akin to the length of a short book. all i can say is only 1 of both of them is a snake and i put it on my fucking life that it is who i think it is[/QUOTE] me too, there has been so much drama in the past weeks it's fucking embarassing we're all stressed and nervous

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51883201]Lots of reasons that I've done a very good job of ignoring for the past... 13 years or so. I've always been more attracted to women, but all of the women I've had crushes on in the past have been straight so I never really explored that. I've always been super embarrassed about the possibility of seeming "creepy" to girls I was attracted to. I've also always had a much easier time getting along with guys but I'm realizing that it's partly because I really don't give a fuck about what guys think of me because I don't want anything from them. Out of all of the men I have dated, I have been sexually attracted to precisely one of them. Except for that one, pretty much every romantic relationship I have been in has basically been me saying "yeah, alright" because I enjoyed the guy's company and was ambivalent enough about the idea of sex to just go with it.[/QUOTE] Hey, at least you're coming to terms with it now instead of later! It could have taken you much longer. My new broker didn't accept her sexuality until she was already approaching middle age, and was married with two kids. Good luck with your new relationship. I hope it works out well for you!

I lied to myself that I wasn't bisexual up until last year. I made myself feel disgusting for having certain thoughts