Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[QUOTE=Zeos;51893988]I lied to myself that I wasn't bisexual up until last year. I made myself feel disgusting for having certain thoughts[/QUOTE] I'm still like partially in that zone? I think I'm largely still asexual in terms of sexual contact but romantically I think I could date a guy or a girl (obvs if I wasn't already dating someone). But having been raised in a conservative/republican/Christian household with a pastor for a Father definitely doesn't make it easy to come to terms with it. Don't think I'll ever actually "come out" to my parents or my family. I don't see a need for it.

I ended up never asking the girl for her number, cus i'm a massive vagina when it comes to this. i've been considering just adding her on facebook, but at the same time i feel like it might be a bit creepy, even though we were in group and class together for all of like 4 days. i feel like adding her on fb would seem kinda pathetic, and i can't imagine myself doing anything but looking pathetic. i dont know what the fuck im doing

[QUOTE=moshimoshi;51894250]I ended up never asking the girl for her number, cus i'm a massive vagina when it comes to this. i've been considering just adding her on facebook, but at the same time i feel like it might be a bit creepy, even though we were in group and class together for all of like 4 days. i feel like adding her on fb would seem kinda pathetic, and i can't imagine myself doing anything but looking pathetic. i dont know what the fuck im doing[/QUOTE] dude I've done worse I can send it after one day with the excuse "hey you [I]just[/I] were in my suggested friends on fb" or I can wait 4 years to do it. literally, didnt give a crap about the girl for 4 years and just now want to get to know her, out of the blue you're doing fine

im also sorta thinking about her being in a male dominated field, she was literally the only girl in my class, and im p sure 98% of the people in our field are guys, so she probably gets a bunch of attention already and feel like she probably wouldn't appreciate more of it. but what the hell do i know. so many dumb excuses

I've slowly learned, in talking with the girl I'm interested in, that we have the same taste in nearly everything and it's fucking weird.

[QUOTE=Zeos;51895418]I've slowly learned, in talking with the girl I'm interested in, that we have the same taste in nearly everything and it's fucking weird.[/QUOTE] get it in boyyyyyyy

[QUOTE=Zeos;51895418]I've slowly learned, in talking with the girl I'm interested in, that we have the same taste in nearly everything and it's fucking weird.[/QUOTE] I'm in the same situation with this Nubian queen dude, we're like two peas in a pod. It's fuckin' lit.

I ended whatever thing I had going on with this girl. I hope I'm making the right decision

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;51896813]I ended whatever thing I had going on with this girl. I hope I'm making the right decision[/QUOTE] wtf why u make like 2 posts a day about how great you seem to feel about it???

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;51896813]I ended whatever thing I had going on with this girl. I hope I'm making the right decision[/QUOTE] Can I just say your posts over the last few weeks read kind of like an ARG where I feel like I should be looking for clues in each sentence to find the coordinates of the lost fortune. It's concerning in more than one way

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;51896813]I ended whatever thing I had going on with this girl. I hope I'm making the right decision[/QUOTE] For the past week every daily post you make to this thread has been about how much you like her, how much she means to you, and how happy she makes you. What gives

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;51896813]I ended whatever thing I had going on with this girl. I hope I'm making the right decision[/QUOTE] Context can be found in this guys posts in the depression thread if anyone is confused

[QUOTE=austin0331;51897756]For the past week every daily post you make to this thread has been about how much you like her, how much she means to you, and how happy she makes you. What gives[/QUOTE] She did make me happy and she is a nice girl it's just I found someone else I feel more comfortable with. I already feel bad about it but I don't think she was interested in a relationship with me. She showed mixed signals about that a lot of the time. I just want a relationship and I feel like it's not going anywhere. I think she just wanted to be a friends with benefits sort of thing

I didn't read the depression thread, but just think before you hop in a relationship with someone. If you're not really comfortable with yourself how can anyone else be comfortable with you? You might have entered a spiral where you'll constantly find new girls that are comfortable with you because over time the girl you thought were great will have faded in your eyes and you'll seek and/or find someone new.

[QUOTE=IQ-Guldfisk;51898234]I didn't read the depression thread, but just think before you hop in a relationship with someone. If you're not really comfortable with yourself how can anyone else be comfortable with you? You might have entered a spiral where you'll constantly find new girls that are comfortable with you because over time the girl you thought were great will have faded in your eyes and you'll seek and/or find someone new.[/QUOTE] The spiral isn't a problem if he likes it that way And I was able to last years with my ex while not being comfortable with myself, it's not a strict rule

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;51890372]And now she hasn't responded in a while. I think I bored her. RIP. This is my main gripe with tinder. If I meet a girl in person I feel I have much better chances, because I'm a more engaging and funny person in person compared to over text.[/QUOTE] Need to strike while the iron is hot. Talking to people on tinder takes a lot of emotional drain for very little reward so its best to get off tinder asap

How do I approach someone whom I never meet except when we're in class? I honestly don't want everybody to know I have an interest in getting to know her, but there is no other opportunity for us to chat what do

People will notice eventually but then again is not like it really matters. Just strike up a conversation like you would any other person.

[QUOTE=killerteacup;51898846]Need to strike while the iron is hot. Talking to people on tinder takes a lot of emotional drain for very little reward so its best to get off tinder asap[/QUOTE] Yeah, I'm not super muscular or in a fraternity so I don't know why I expected success in the first place

[QUOTE=Wealth + Taste;51901432]Yeah, I'm not super muscular or in a fraternity so I don't know why I expected success in the first place[/QUOTE] You 100% do not need to be muscular or in a fraternity to be successful on tinder. I am absolutely not either of those things. [editline]2nd March 2017[/editline] As killer said you need to move off tinder asap. Even if it's just for a quick coffee or something it gets the conversation much more personal and interesting.

Okay, I'm not solely looking for a girl to date but where are some places I can go to meet people? Besides the school library, It feels too weird to walk up to someone and start talking to them. Long story short I'm a timid, damn giant of a man, and currently wrapping up my two year program at a local community college 24 year old. Its an applied engineering program so all of my classes are sausage fests. So no girls. I'm not really interested in any of the clubs on campus and I work during the day and go to school in the evening, I can't make it to most of the functions on campus due to the timing. I'm not a big fan of going to bars without going with friends. Most of my hobbies are geeky, but I do go out swing dancing every once in a while but the place usually only consist of old folks or highschoolers. I've thought about making a Tinder for S&G but wouldn't know what to put or how to keep a conversation interesting. This sounds pitiful but could use some advice.

I just got a membership to my art museum so I'll let you know how that spot is. I heard chicks dig art.

[QUOTE=Branflakes;51903568]Okay, I'm not solely looking for a girl to date but where are some places I can go to meet people? Besides the school library, It feels too weird to walk up to someone and start talking to them. Long story short I'm a timid, damn giant of a man, and currently wrapping up my two year program at a local community college 24 year old. Its an applied engineering program so all of my classes are sausage fests. So no girls. I'm not really interested in any of the clubs on campus and I work during the day and go to school in the evening, I can't make it to most of the functions on campus due to the timing. I'm not a big fan of going to bars without going with friends. Most of my hobbies are geeky, but I do go out swing dancing every once in a while but the place usually only consist of old folks or highschoolers. I've thought about making a Tinder for S&G but wouldn't know what to put or how to keep a conversation interesting. This sounds pitiful but could use some advice.[/QUOTE] Maybe try getting into the local music scene? It's kind of a overly specific suggestion since it depends heavily on whether you're into that or not, but it's a pretty great way of meeting cool people in your area. Going to big acts at the main venues you can still meet people pretty easily, but I feel like it's way easier at house shows since half the people are just there to hang out anyway. Plus its incredibly cheap and if you [I]do[/I] enjoy live music, you get to see live music all the time!

Is it less threatening to ask for a number, email or facebook?

None of those are threatening really

[QUOTE=srobins;51904117]None of those are threatening really[/QUOTE] This but to add onto it, just ask for a phone number or facebook tbh. I'd personally think it was weird if someone asked me for my email and they weren't like someone I was networking with on a professional level. And at that point I'd be wondering why they didn't have/expect business cards or like, idk, even my linkedin is less weird than my plain email tbh.

I guess I want to vent here once again, although I never seem to be able to take your guys' advice. I don't know what it is with me, no matter how hard I try I always fall out of habits. I try to use the stuff you guys say to improve stuff but I just can't do it. And that's on me and I kind of hate myself for it but I'd like to vent, at least, because just saying something and being acknowledged seems to give me a slight push forward, at least. So,basically I was with this girl for like 4 years with one or two on/offs and in the end we decided to just go FWB. Not that we really called it that, or anything, but we lived together since she helped me with moving to Tucson (hated where I lived and worked previously) so we kind of acted like a couple but didn't call ourselves a couple. However, the way our apartment was we had our own rooms and 2 other roommates, so it sort of just felt like we were neighbors in a way. Then I made the mistake of moving with her when we left that place and we got a 2 person apartment together. It was great while it lasted but it didn't take long for her to start seeing someone else and that destroyed me and still is. Yes, I knew it would happen sooner or later and yeah, we mutually agreed to not be together. But it still hurt a *lot*. But the thing is, it took this much for me to realize, in seeing glimpses of her relationship with this guy, that she never really gave me a chance - she goes out and does things with him all the time, she's made a genuine effort to get into his interests, she hangs out with him and his friends all the time, and that realization hurt even more. Over our 5-6 *years* together, she never gave me that chance. She'd watch movies and stuff with me or she'd watch me play a game when I asked but she never asked to. She never asked to go out somewhere, to do anything, it was all me really. So then I think, the reason our relationship ended up where it did was because she really didn't give me, or us, the chance to really become something more. It ended up just being sex mostly, and eating together and watching videos. But now this guy comes along and she's all over the place with him. I was her best, and literally only, friend, and now I see she never really cared for me at all. It was so easy for her to turn her back on me. When I told her all that it was absolutely no skin off her back to just forget it all and stop interacting with me. She didn't mind at all. I hate her for that, but I still love her. So now I'm living with her and I have this constant flurry of emotions enveloping me at all times, I have severe regret and wish things had gone differently and I just wish she'd given me that chance, and I've been depressed for months. All I do in my free time is game and eat junk food. I feel like shit. And I can't stop wondering *why* she didn't give me a chance. I've been trying to use OKCupid but with absolutely no luck. Whenever I try to message a girl I get either no response or exactly one response, and I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I try to be interesting and jokey and I ask questions without coming on like an interviewer, but they either don't respond or respond with complete disinterest and don't progress the conversation at all. I've had girls that we both liked eachother and STILL she made ZERO effort to even talk to me. I don't know what's wrong with me, I KNOW there's SOMETHING wrong with me but I cannot figure out what it is that no one even gives me the time of day. I'm moving out soon and I hope things improve a bit from there but I can only imagine my mental health declining when I live completely alone and isolated. I don't have friends other than on Steam and I don't go out. And lately I've felt so drained of energy, today it's been a legitimate chore to just walk down the hall from my bedroom to my computer. I don't even feel like I can stand at some points. My life is a fucking MESS and I can't DO anything about it. I feel like I need a rock, someone or some sort of motivation that can keep me improving myself, but I'm completely on my own and I can't keep myself going. I've tried COUNTLESS times in the past to improve things and I ALWAYS fall off. I have no motivation, I'm depressed, and I have no one here for me. So I dunno what I'm supposed to do. Life fucking sucks and I honestly genuinely hate it but I try to work with what I have since I'm here and it doesn't work out for me. I guess I'm going to just go ahead with moving and see where that goes but I doubt anything will change. And I really don't want to leave her, though I know I have to. I doubt anyone would want to read this ridiculous wall of text but I had to say something to someone. I'm exhausted.

[QUOTE=F.X Clampazzo;51904206]This but to add onto it, just ask for a phone number or facebook tbh. I'd personally think it was weird if someone asked me for my email and they weren't like someone I was networking with on a professional level. And at that point I'd be wondering why they didn't have/expect business cards or like, idk, even my linkedin is less weird than my plain email tbh.[/QUOTE]I thought asking for their number was intimidating, I thought it invoked paranoid worries about someone they don't know well having their number or something and the facebook page made them think I was looking at what their doing.

If I talk with someone occasionally then sure they can have my phone number. Otherwise, no. I don't like to give my personal information to people I don't know. So for me personally either be acquanted with me or have a valid reason to need my contact info. (Like for business, uni, or social activities.)

[QUOTE=SoftHearted;51901352]People will notice eventually but then again is not like it really matters. Just strike up a conversation like you would any other person.[/QUOTE] well it kinda does for me I only have this group of friends, and everyone in the group loves to say mean things about her expect for one guy (we dont get along that well) who kinda dated her and is too often around her