Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[QUOTE=RoboChimp;51904907]I thought asking for their number was intimidating, I thought it invoked paranoid worries about someone they don't know well having their number or something and the facebook page made them think I was looking at what their doing.[/QUOTE] Give them your phone number instead and tell them to text you. Puts less pressure on them.

I just said fuck it and invited her and another girl to come out with me and my friends tonight I like when I grow balls

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51905813]Give them your phone number instead and tell them to text you. Puts less pressure on them.[/QUOTE] That's really good advice. Although, doesn't it make the guy look shy or unassertive in contrast to straight-out asking for the girl's number? Probably comes down to how you say it anyway, right.

I think that comes down to execution either way you do it.

[QUOTE=Kindlinho;51905977]That's really good advice. Although, doesn't it make the guy look shy or unassertive in contrast to straight-out asking for the girl's number?[/QUOTE] I think it's more respectful. If you ask someone for their phone number you're putting them on the spot. If they're not interested, you're forcing them to either tell you off (which is something nobody wants to do and something that can be scary to do when you're a woman) or give you a fake number. Even if you see the person again later, asking them to text you instead gives them that plausible deniability of "oh I just forgot" or whatever and it's easier to drop. Also, so what if something seems "unassertive"? Would you rather be the guy obliviously pressuring a woman into a situation she doesn't want to be in? It's 2017, gender roles are (largely) dead. You can let women decide for themselves whether they want to keep talking to you. This idea that you need to be super macho and assertive isn't something women usually care about, it's a gender expectation that's perpetuated by other dudes.

Well, took the chance to travel a bit by visiting some friends who are working aboard and crashing in their places for a weekend. After petty drama with my oldest friends, and frustration at how employment is going for me, taking up an offer to visit and feeling welcome is neat, as is the chance of visiting other countries. I used to crush on one of those friends, and I'm glad a year and some months after that, she is just a friend who would gladly have me over for a weekend: When you are self-conscious and you lose somebody you believed is a friend explicity because said person realized you had a crush, it takes some time to heal, even if the proper answer ought to be indignation rather than anything else. I like who I am, and I cannot quite believe how much better I am since a year and a half ago. How many more people I have and care about, how many more things I am doing, or even daring to do, and how happier I am. Now, lets see if that classmate I have caught from time to time eyeing me, and who rapidly laughs at my jokes in the occasional times we end up having coffee together, has any meaning behind those...

Just lost my best two friends over a dumb misunderstanding. Things are looking irreconcilable. Am I being tested or something? Can life just fuck off for a little bit? Just as things were starting to look up

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51909654]Give it some time to let the heat and emotions die down, then jump back in for round 2 of "okay guys here's what I meant."[/QUOTE] I'm just so tired of dealing with all the bullshit and drama. We've been through so much but I've also put them through so much with my arrest and my general self-centered bullshit. I've grown to be a better man since then but the scars aren't nearly close to fading. I've hurt them and I've hurt my reputation. The last straw was a complete misunderstanding blown out of proportion by them but at the end of the day they had plenty of reason to be mad at me. I don't know. I'm so tired of this. I'm ready to move on to the next stage in life, whatever it holds. I'm sick of being judged by the mistakes I made in the past. I'm more than that.

So I'm in a weird situation. The situation being my entirety.. I just had my 22nd birthday a week ago, and still living at home. I'm confident that is the smart thing to do in this economy, and given British Columbia's extremely high living cost coupled with low wages. This on its own does not bother me, but then I stack it up to the fact I still do not drive ( again an economical reason, but there is a lot of laziness on my part), and the fact that I haven't had intimate contact with a female in 3 years. The closest thing to feeling the loving embrace of another living thing I've had since early 2014 is the occasional raccoon, and neighbors cat that comes around to sit with me and be fed... I've had my best friends all move away.. Fortunately 2 of them came back, and the other ones weren't too far so were spending more time as a group again.. Don't get the wrong idea, social anxiety is a bit of a problem for me, but I don't go out of my way to avoid people or talking to people, I love striking up random conversations with people.. But there has to be a certain vibe.. I know that "vibe" I refer to is partially my judgmental subconscious, but it's because I've been around alot of shitheads in my life, backstabbers, drug addicts, criminals, people with various psychological conditions, and I've also been around preppy people, people with wealth and high educations etc.. I always find myself in the middle. I graduated early from high-school, and then droped out of college in the first week. Teachers would say of me, "I hate it when I have a student in this spot" "He has alot of potential, more than he'll know, but the people he hangs around won't boost him up" " I've seen him excel and then I wouldn't see him for 3 days straight " When I graduated, I was among the only ones of my friends that were at the ceremony, keep in mind I finished 6 months early but still in the same grad class. Some gradded and didn't show, others dropped out, others were behind. We were and always have been kind of the odd group out of the school, we had a couple of tough guys, a couple of real nerdy guys, and a few ladies men... multi-racial, with a variety of interests. We got along with everyone just as quick as we could get in fights with them. In and out of trouble, always suspected of being behind the last shit show at the school. After high-school it mostly broke up, except for us that lived over here on this side of City. Were all in touch, but pursuing our own things. Anyways I've rambled enough. So immediately after high-school and dropping out of the college electrical course, my life sort of spiraled out of control... I was dating this beautiful girl from Las Vegas, I loved going out with the American girl, because people here talk shit about that, and maybe alot of people didn't see it coming. She also was really fun, alot more fun than I was, which I realize can be a problem but it goes both ways.. She loved drugs, and so did I, she loved watching porn, she loved sleepless nights with adventures that led to spontanious sex in a riskay place, she loved telling crazy stories of her life in vegas, and I listened.. All that shit was opening a new world for me, I was working out like crazy at this time, and working a job that I hated ( McDonalds). But with money coming in, all my friends hanging out a mile away, a decent life at home, and all my friends in one place all the time, in the house next to my parents. I had everything I wanted at 18 except little material things. It still was everything to me at the time. At this time I had deep love for Weed, and a drug called Dextromethorphan, that I took basically whenever I felt like it, without it becoming a daily habit. But a habit none the less. I downed about 200 bottles of cough syrup, and cough gels in-between 2012-2015. I'm not gonna go into why, but if anyone has been on an experience with DXM and enjoyed it they'll know of the warm euphoria I talk about. It became sort of an escape mechanism, whenever the stress of relationships or the stress of coming to age got to be too much, I'd go into a deep state of dissociation with the help of Lady-D. I'd smoke weed with it, but thats it. I was and am still extremley well read on the specific pharmacological profile of the molecule, aswell as anything I ever ingested at the time. Thats the only reason that I never was hospitalized, or never had any of it noticed by my parents ever. They just thought I was smoking the ganj.. You know where this is going, I became part of online communities, and just enjoyed making dates with myself to get blitzed out of my mind, or go out with friends totally mashed up on this stuff ( I disliked alcohol for the longest time because it made me ill and very depressed every time I had it, I begun to think I had some kind of allergy). I can ramble about my drug use for days but believe it or not, it was just a feature of my reality at the time, It didn't directly lead to my "downfall" and I will explain... The relationship with this girl started with a HUGE red-flag. She hosts a grad party at her house, her moms just really cool with the whole thing. 40-50 people showed up that night, but there was this one girl there that apparently had a crush on me since freshmen year. I had no idea, I wasn't in any of her classes or anything, but she had kind of been msging me on facebook at the time, but I was pretty interested in the host of the party. She had so much life and was really popular, and I just couldn't believe that she was attracted to me too.. The night before was the night I really met her, when she invited me over to her house to blaze and drink, after I approached her a few times in the school, knowing my friends probably told her I was head over heels drooling from the mouth turned on by this chick so she took it well I guess.. That night within 30 minutes of walking in the door she had me watching porn with her being all like "this would be better with our clothes off" and "wouldn't that be fun to try". This drove me wild, was almost like a fantasy to me, my last and only other girlfriend was wild in bed but very uhm... I don't know typical? If that's the word? She was too quiet for me I guess, I became more interested in hanging out with my friends and it ended after a few months. So this was exciting to me. At the party the next day, the girl who had crush on me finds me, shes piss drunk, and I've started to get a few in me, she was talking with the host ( my soon to be gf ), and turned around like OMG [myname]!!. The host says " You two know eachother ? ". I respond with " Uh not exactly haha ". I don't remember what happened next, but she had way too many drinks in her, and she was moaning all over me and grabbing at everything, as I tried to walk through the party saying there someone else. But before I knew it, everyone in the party saw so I said fuck it.. We start making out on the porch with me still trying to stop her, and I just gave in, she tells me lets walk to the park, but slams me against a mailbox just off to the left of the house and starts unbuttoning my shirt in the middle of the street. Im loving it, it was thrilling as hell, my ego started soaring to LEVELS THAT SHOULDN'T EVEN BE POSSIBLE... haha, all jokes aside, let me digress. I tried to convince her to walk down to the park, was 4-5 mins away, pitch black, would be perfect. All I remember was making it half way down that same road, before I feel her grab at my buttons at my shirt and give me a UFC style takedown onto this persons front yard. We start making out again, shes unbuttoning my pants but I don't want it to go down like this, right here... Okay yes I did but I know better than that. I close it up and whispered something like " uh uh uh, not so fast" she starts drunkenly saying this is all shes ever wanted. I slip my hand down her panties shes soaked, by this point shes full on screaming/moaning. I thought someone would hear us so I tried to get off, and pick her up about 3 times, until she said " please I'm gonna cum ". After like 2 minutes it was over, dick harder than tungsten at this point. She kind of just laid there for a minute smiling but I got so fucking nervous, we got up and started walking back to the house, everyone's grinding on each-other when I get back, people asking where we went and laughing. The usual, you know. I feel bad about what I just did, about the girl I just finger blasted and the girl I was supposed to be hooking up with that night. She did give me this rule "no sex with each-other if we've had sex with other people that day" sort of deal. So I thought stupidly that nothing would go wrong, but nothing DID go wrong as a direct result of that. The girl messaged me for a month after sending me nudes asking me to do..THAT again lol, kept telling me how thrilling it was, telling me she kept pleasuring herself to that memory for a long time apparently. What happened right after is what set the ship assail. I walk into the hosts room, shes under the covers, so is another body, he wouldn't come out of the covers, there was still people in the room, I guess watching them have sex? I kind of drunkenly say " well hey, I guess I should head home now", she responds really shocked sort of smiling "Okay, see you tommorow!!". I was one of the last people leaving the party, which now would be the other way around.. I was excited, angry, horny, and equally depressed. The only logical thing to do was to put in my headphones and B-line it to my friends house to snort some crushed amphetamines, instead of going home, cause ya know I like to solve problems.. I hang out at his house for an hour and get really fucked up at 3 am. Then I leave and just start walking miles down the goose trail. Texting both of them trying to set everything straight and clear my head at the same time. I remember sneezing like a maniac the whole walk. By the time I realize where I am, I'm at the city harbor, and the sun is up. So I walk back home. The next day, I was in a relationship with that girl "the host". We agreed not to see other people, and me and the other girl just eventually stopped talking. But "host" was always really suspicious I was fucking around with her, my ex, or a girl I had a crush on in middle/high-school. She had a right to be. It all was going good until we started hanging out with this dealer.. he at first lets us chill at his place and do coke, but the whole time he was just trying to get to my gf. I grew increasingly suspicious, one day at a park she kind of opened up to me that she sees a brother/father figure in him, she gets emotional while explaining it ( Her dad walked out on her... Daddy issues, big red-flag ). My parents decide we should take a family road trip down the west coast of the USA, I've never seen any of it up until that point, I found driving along the i5 interstate to be really.. emotional.. Its unlike anything I've ever seen in person, the mountains, the desert, the valleys, the orange trees, the weather etc.. It felt like this was home, right away.. In the car I start getting emotional because I had a strong gut feeling something was going on back home with my girl and my dealer. She'd text me every-night with paragraphs about how she loved me, missed me etc. I trusted her, and continued to trust her for the most part. When I got back I tried to ignore it, but some months went by, with little friction. Then one day in october of that year (2013), he gets jealous or something and emails me a video of him fingering what I gathered to be my woman. It was a dark 20-30 second video, I remember recognizing his bedshits, and her weed leaf belly button ring, and then that's where my memory just cuts off... I don't remember if there was something that prompted him to send me it, but he went crazy all of a sudden. All I could remember was the hours going by like minutes after seeing that, I don't remember where I went or what I did immediately, but I remember sitting in a manic state, listening to music that probably didn't help with the shit that started swirling around in my head. I remember her inviting me over after that and then not really saying anything, just putting on her makeup, but I stood there watching her in dead silence. My breathing started to break up, I started to feel really violent. She looks at me and says "You don't actually believe that shit do you? Oh my god!". She was lying through her teeth, I knew it, but I felt like I couldn't just walk away from this before I made it rain down fucking hell-fire. And thats exactly what followed. I started questioning her, she took off her belly ring and put a similar one on there to try and tell me its not the same! 18 years old, FULL of piss and vinegar, still am. But the difference between me now and then is I was liable to act irrationally out of raw emotion. I was ready to tear everyone's life down that was in these two bloodlines. The shit goes back and forth, I start threatening the dealer, threatening his family, eventually whatever those two had together imploded as a result of what I was doing, he was mad that she was sleeping in his bed, but not telling me to fuck off. One night she snaps at me " YOU ARE JUST AN EXPERT ON MAKING PEOPLE FEEL LIKE SHIT! I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW! ". I wasn't the ultimatum type, I probably started dropping hints about how I would fucking kill the guy and what not. I'm blowing up his phone, hes harassing her family, her family goes to the police, the dealer starts calling my parents and tries telling them that I'm a dealer too, and my stuff is shitty etc. In reality I was running him out of a lot of business because the people he sold to were my friends. But now I had the shit. Parents start sticking up for me and I decide this is the collaboration effort against him now, my family and her family against him. Meanwhile the girl I'm dating is in the middle of it, trying to pretend she isn't having a nervous breakdown because of it. The police seemed uninterested in this particular situation, so I knowing they had my file now, and I was technically a witness to this harassment, decide its time to take matters into my own hands... The drugs start flying, I'm snapping at everything that moves. All of a sudden everything neutralizes in my mind, and I realize, I'm gonna be the bad guy here... rather than calm down and take a few steps back, I calmed down decided, a price needs to be paid. That was me being rational.. I start talking to my friend who just got out of house arrest, and one night we got a enough liqour us, and in my pocket is a list of everything valuable he owns and where he keeps it, given to me by my girlfriend, she thought this was a better alternative than the gang beatdown that my friends almost did. One of my buddies was hanging around this massive group of degenerates that are still one of only 3 youth gangs registered in the police files here, and they were walking past his house, I'm talking a walking brigade of brass knuckled thugs who'd jump at the chance to fight anyone, anywhere. He called her, scared ofcourse, and that made her finally convince me the best thing to do was rob him dry (He had alot of her shit, but this is also the same woman who cheated on me). They never ended up doing it because my buddy tried to get a hold of me to make sure that was the right house, but I missed the text. Thank god? Fast forward two hours, I'm roaming around his block with a balaclava on my bike, a bottle of sugar/soap/milk, and a magazine + lighter. I was either going to fuck up his engine, or try and blow his car up by myself. He moved the car because he had stolen one of her phones, and read txt's between me and my girl about what I was planning.. My stupidity saved me repeatedly. He credited it for being "clever" but if I ever went near his car, I'd be a dead man. So the next night, were back at his place, me and Mr.House Arrest masks on, melee weapons etc. Ready to take hostages, and probably beat the guy up real good. But before we do it, I realize how many drugs I still have floating around in my system, and how he could go to prison for along time, being on probation, having just turned 18. So we leave. It's a quiet walk home. Things gradually unravel with the girl, she starts doing glass again, she had scars from a previous addiction when she still lived in vegas. We get really distant as both are lives start to collapse, she dealt with some personal loss, her grandpa I believe, I comforted her, and put everything in the past behind us, but her speed use started to become problamatic, before I knew it, I had been up for 3 days too, basically being with her at her job at the gas station all through her shift, even helping her with her work. She started to steal from her work, and become increasingly unpredictable. I finally gave her an ultimatum, since she had been using for 3 weeks, I told her I can't be around the stuff anymore, and if were gonna be together she needs to stop using, and so will I. I stopped immediatley, she kept going for a little bit, but thankfully she kicked the habbit. Soon after a tall handsome british guy came in, and she started spending time with him. Emotionally drained, I ended it after about 2 weeks of that. It didn't go so well, she started attacking every random girl on my facebook, commenting on everything they said on any of my pictures etc, starting fights with people who lived 2000 miles away even! Part of her wanted to stay with me, and it drove me insane. Litteraly, because I hadn't had sex or even kissed her in months, but I was with her all the time, I started thinking maybe shes sleeping with someone else? Who cares? I'm taking a break! I give myself some space, come home to the computer and the facepawnch, indulge in about 600mg of DXM almost every other night. Started having some real problems at home, remained unemployed until the April of the next year. Got into an altercation with one of my best friends because he was telling me I'm driving everyone away for some methhead, and how I've been ignoring my friends and such, so he comes down to my street after many facebook insults back and forth, and I attack them assuming I'm going to be 2 on oned. Get my face punched in, deviated septum for the past 3 years, just had surgery finally a week ago. Couldn't breath at all for the longest time.. Anyway after that, things slowly started to improve. I started working a new job, and got another one last year. After stopping the gym for 3 months, I got back on it, and started training and dieting like a professional, got in insane shape, but my kidneys and andrenal gland were really beaten up from the training program and the grinding routine I still have to this day. I've basically not had anything exciting happen in my life since. I've just been training, working, eating,working again, sleeping.. repeat. Endless cycle. I like to think my hardwork will take me places, I haven't touched any drugs other than weed since 2016. Not dealing with depression really, or anxiety.. But feel very apathetic after what happened in my life. I don't know how to love anymore, and I don't know how to initiate interactions with hot girls, I just start seeing what happened last time, and my mom telling me " Beautiful women will just break your heart" over and over again... I'm incredibly lonely, I feel very stable, very routine oriented, but sometimes I feel like Im walking on egg shells.. I feel like there is a lot of emotional baggage that I carry with me. I feel like the best years of my life are just being wasted working and lifting. My mom keeps telling me I need to findsomeone, god knows I do. But It seems the type of women Im attracted to are the un-relatable kind. I keep telling myself I will gain as much money and muscle as possible until I'm 30. Then I'll have what I want.. [editline]4th March 2017[/editline] Holy shit.. I didn't realize I had been writing this for hours.. It felt good to put that in writing.. Alot of it pointless, and my sentance structure is unbearable, but bless you're heart if you sat through all that just to get to that ending..

[QUOTE=Kel|oggs;51911468]So I'm in a weird situation. The situation being my entirety.. I just had my 22nd birthday a week ago, and still living at home. I'm confident that is the smart thing to do in this economy, and given British Columbia's extremely high living cost coupled with low wages. .........[/QUOTE] Fuck man, congrats on your no drug use and sorry about these crazy ladies. But damn, has this kind of shit happened to anyone else? It feels straight out of a movie or something.

[QUOTE=uwut;51911544]Fuck man, congrats on your no drug use and sorry about these crazy ladies. But damn, has this kind of shit happened to anyone else? It feels straight out of a movie or something.[/QUOTE] Similar shit happens to my friends on a weekly basis, but not like this. I'm sure it's not that rare though. Thanks for reading it though.

Fuck, so I'm stuck in a weird situation and I don't know what to do. Today is my and my gf's first year anniversary and, since she's in the US, we were trying to plan something to do. I've been trying to tell her since January or so that I want to do something more than just talk for 20-30 minutes on skype like we usually do. I had a full day of work planned for today, but managed to cancel it, so that I'd have time to talk to her. Yesterday, she says she will have "as much time as you want." Great, okay. Come today, "hey, I don't have much time, let's skype now before I run" and doesn't have time later. Am I in the wrong for being pissed for this happening? It's happened before and I explained it as a problem with the distance, but now I'm not even sure if I want to visit (have plans to fly out in just over a week, should still be able to cancel if need be). What should I do?

I don't really like any of my pics on Facebook but I want to add her. I'm going to ask if she wants to talk sometime after program

[QUOTE=HumbleTH;51912297]Fuck, so I'm stuck in a weird situation and I don't know what to do. Today is my and my gf's first year anniversary and, since she's in the US, we were trying to plan something to do. I've been trying to tell her since January or so that I want to do something more than just talk for 20-30 minutes on skype like we usually do. I had a full day of work planned for today, but managed to cancel it, so that I'd have time to talk to her. Yesterday, she says she will have "as much time as you want." Great, okay. Come today, "hey, I don't have much time, let's skype now before I run" and doesn't have time later. Am I in the wrong for being pissed for this happening? It's happened before and I explained it as a problem with the distance, but now I'm not even sure if I want to visit (have plans to fly out in just over a week, should still be able to cancel if need be). What should I do?[/QUOTE] Just tell her how u feel bruv

[QUOTE=HumbleTH;51912297]Fuck, so I'm stuck in a weird situation and I don't know what to do. Today is my and my gf's first year anniversary and, since she's in the US, we were trying to plan something to do. I've been trying to tell her since January or so that I want to do something more than just talk for 20-30 minutes on skype like we usually do. I had a full day of work planned for today, but managed to cancel it, so that I'd have time to talk to her. Yesterday, she says she will have "as much time as you want." Great, okay. Come today, "hey, I don't have much time, let's skype now before I run" and doesn't have time later. Am I in the wrong for being pissed for this happening? It's happened before and I explained it as a problem with the distance, but now I'm not even sure if I want to visit (have plans to fly out in just over a week, should still be able to cancel if need be). What should I do?[/QUOTE] id be mad if i missed a day of work just to spend time with someone only for them to flake out. if this becomes reoccuring then just say how you feel

[QUOTE=Crpto2007;51913321]I don't really like any of my pics on Facebook but I want to add her. I'm going to ask if she wants to talk sometime after program[/QUOTE] I know what you mean man, I don't like my pics after a while but I don't ever change them so like it makes me feel a lot less confident. I look like the 13-year-old kid I once was in my profile picture with Syndicate so yeah, very relatable. Problem is I'm so shy at fucking talking to girls and this girl I like, I was going to add her ages ago but she ended up adding me out of nowhere when I had no interest in her at all, after the Christmas before (2015). I had a way cringier photo back then but don't worry, just hit her up with a friend request and don't worry. Worrying more makes things go bad so don't let it get to you dude, that's my advice.

[QUOTE=sourcegamer101;51913563]id be mad if i missed a day of work just to spend time with someone only for them to flake out. if this becomes reoccuring then just say how you feel[/QUOTE] It happens quite a bit already, I can maybe recall one special occasion that our plans actually worked out.. She's at her grandparent's house today and just told me that she felt bad telling them she was going to talk to me. I have no idea how to react, I'm just angry now. I don't know if I still want to go. That's what I told her. What should I do?

[QUOTE=Kabstrac;51913587]Yo what're you talking about?[/QUOTE] What do you mean?

How do I get a girl in my 1 hour 15 minute long Spanish class interested in me? I like talking to her and all that, and I think she likes talking to me as well, it's just hard to get like conversational momentum going, if that makes any sense. 1 hour and 15 minutes in a classroom environment makes it tricky. The real issue is that we both have places to be both before and after class, usually.

[QUOTE=Zoran;51913951]How do I get a girl in my 1 hour 15 minute long Spanish class interested in me? I like talking to her and all that, and I think she likes talking to me as well, it's just hard to get like conversational momentum going, if that makes any sense. 1 hour and 15 minutes in a classroom environment makes it tricky. The real issue is that we both have places to be both before and after class, usually.[/QUOTE] I don't believe there's anything you can do either she finds you interesting or she doesn't, not much else I'm afraid

Man I've been going through a super weird time, socially. Like, just silently stopped contacting one friend I thought I'd be friends with for life (haven't talked in over a month), and re-started talking to a friend I thought I'd never speak to again. I'm trying to spread out and talk to more people, because all the weird shit I've been going through with friends has made me realize that keeping such a close-knit friend group throws a big chunk of my life into turmoil as soon as ANY drama arises. I even had somebody message me a good amount on Tinder even though I've been using the app a LOT less. And I can see what people mean about losing interest fast. Like, I found out this girl would be interested in meeting me, but I don't have any free time until next weekend. I feel like I should keep messaging her and keep the conversation going, but honestly it's a little hard to keep up the enthusiasm for a relative stranger. I feel like I should message more random small talk, not to keep HER from losing interest, but to keep MYSELF from losing interest.

I have no idea how to make new friends. I've severed ties with most of my friends from high school, as I just found it to be an unhealthy environment after so many years. I recently moved to California, and I've had a falling out with my only close friend out here. I feel alone all the time. I don't feel like I have anyone who actually has my back. And I'm so emotionally broken I can't even bother to fix it. I have absolutely no idea how I move on at this point.

[QUOTE=SebiWarrior;51913986]I don't believe there's anything you can do either she finds you interesting or she doesn't, not much else I'm afraid[/QUOTE] Eh. As a person, I believe she's interested in me. It's just that, by the time we actually get to topics that matter and such, class is over. I see what you mean though. That's a shame.

[QUOTE=Paincake;51914506]I have no idea how to make new friends. I've severed ties with most of my friends from high school, as I just found it to be an unhealthy environment after so many years. I recently moved to California, and I've had a falling out with my only close friend out here. I feel alone all the time. I don't feel like I have anyone who actually has my back. And I'm so emotionally broken I can't even bother to fix it. I have absolutely no idea how I move on at this point.[/QUOTE] Workmates, if you live in a city I'm certain there are clubs or groups that have your interests

[QUOTE=Zoran;51913951]How do I get a girl in my 1 hour 15 minute long Spanish class interested in me? I like talking to her and all that, and I think she likes talking to me as well, it's just hard to get like conversational momentum going, if that makes any sense. 1 hour and 15 minutes in a classroom environment makes it tricky. The real issue is that we both have places to be both before and after class, usually.[/QUOTE] If you don't wanna ask her out to coffee or something, ask if she wants to study Spanish and set up a time, and then talk.

coat tailing off my previous post. Does anyone have some good advice for letting go of a past long term relationship? The entire time she's been with someone else I've been fighting myself insanely hard to get past it and accept it, but there's some part of my brain that can't seem to... comprehend it. I don't really know how to explain it. I mean right now I can't go to sleep because she's staying the night with him, and all I can think about is where she is right now, in his bed with him, like she used to sleep with me. How can she do that with another person? I know it's so commonplace among normal human beings to have multiple partners over time but I can't accept that she's with someone else no matter how hard I try. I feel so lonely and it seriously hurts thinking about her with him, and I can't not think about it. I can't get a date myself, I don't have many if any friends besides those online, I have no hobbies other than video gaming which my depression makes really lackluster, I can't figure out any other hobbies I could possibly take up, I can't distract myself. So if I could just accept it and stop hurting over it I could at least make it to the next phase of my life that isn't hot garbage without feeling the constant need to off myself. So, what else can I do to get past this? It's been almost half a year now and I can't get over her. I still really, really love her. Granted living with her isn't helping but I feel like it's hold over me is still greater than it should be. I'm literally losing my sanity over this, it's so hopeless and frustrating and I wish something else would come already. I don't think I'm reacting to this like a normal person and I don't know how to change that. She's the only girl I've ever been with and I had an insanely deep bond with her, one that maybe was deeper on my end, but it was still a VERY serious bond to me. Everything we did together was special in my mind and I can't comprehend that she's doing those things with someone else. What do I do? I need to at least get by for a bit while I move out. Speaking of, it's hard to even pull the trigger and sign another lease because I can't stand the fact I'm moving away from her.

You gotta find new ways to feel good bro. Be it new friends, hobbies or just activities you enjoy. Gotta chase that positivity. Then you don't need a partner to make you feel happy about yourself. Makes it easy to begin a new relationship too once you get there. Pick something fun up like cooking, exercising, set some goals you wanna pursue and live life. I'm sure you can handle it, man.

keep yourself occupied. that's all you can really do. time is the only thing that'll really help (that and not living in the same place as her, seriously man get your own place)

[QUOTE=dcalde78;51916269]keep yourself occupied. that's all you can really do. time is the only thing that'll really help (that and not living in the same place as her, seriously man get your own place)[/QUOTE] Yeah I'm working on a new place and should be out by the end of of the month. [QUOTE=ljh;51916210]You gotta find new ways to feel good bro. Be it new friends, hobbies or just activities you enjoy. Gotta chase that positivity. Then you don't need a partner to make you feel happy about yourself. Makes it easy to begin a new relationship too once you get there. Pick something fun up like cooking, exercising, set some goals you wanna pursue and live life. I'm sure you can handle it, man.[/QUOTE] Maybe it'll be different once I live alone but I've had a really bad track record when it comes to getting myself into exercising, I never go out and have no where to go if I did so I don't have friends or a way to make them, I absolutely suck at cooking and have a hard to time just trying things because I hate wasting food, and I generally have no ambitions to set goals on. Is this normal? I just, can't figure out how to focus on the positive when there is none, and I can't seem to create it for myself. I think those are all good ideas and I don't want to just debunk everything you tell me since that doesn't really help me at all, I'm just trying to figure out what would work for me. I've tried a lot. Everything falls apart one way or another. At best I've managed to get into something like working out, but then one or two days roll around where I either can't do it or feel way too depressed to do it, and then I drop off completely. That's why I wish I had someone to lean on or some burning motivation to keep me going.

The reward system of the brain is lacking the chemical that makes you feel good, and thus you either feel bad or indifferent. Remember that, when you are feeling down, that the issue is that. Just like running out of ink for a printer will make the things you print different from what they should, running short of some NTs will make your mental picture (and thus your subjective reality) look different from what it is.