Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;51944795]holy shit no stop this train of thought you're on[/QUOTE] gonna be honest, i've tried something similar. i didn't post about it because i don't need a pity party (or fp telling me it was unethical and stupid, i've already internalized that), but i tried to do something similar. want to know what happened? we actively ignore each other, i stepped down as president of a club she was VP of, and we've put friends in the middle of it there is no excuse for trying to play "steal yo girl"

[QUOTE=ZombieWaffle;51945020]It is not okay to try and take a person from what is likely a viable and loving relationship while that relationship is still active. Trying to break people out of their commitments for your own personal gain shows exactly how much you actually care about her.[/QUOTE] How is that bad? How do you know that dannySketch can't do better than her current boyfriend, or give her better happiness? It's just bf-gf relationship, there no black and white. No paper signed, no official obligations. And with that he did not have official dibs on her. If he's serious and want to get other man's paws off her, then get her a ring. And if she really likes her current bf, then she'll stay true to him. If she thinks danny is better, then she'll go for him. She got her choice. It's not danny 'stealing' her; he just give her more 'options' I say dannySketch should go for it. May the best man win.

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51945471]How is that bad? How do you know that dannySketch can't do better than her current boyfriend, or give her better happiness? It's just bf-gf relationship, there no black and white. No paper signed, no official obligations. And with that he did not have official dibs on her. If he's serious and want to get other man's paws off her, then get her a ring. And if she really likes her current bf, then she'll stay true to him. If she thinks danny is better, then she'll go for him. She got her choice. It's not danny 'stealing' her; he just give her more 'options' I say dannySketch should go for it. May the best man win.[/QUOTE] is this a real post? if you can steal someone from someone else, they can be stolen from you, end of story

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51945471]How is that bad? How do you know that dannySketch can't do better than her current boyfriend, or give her better happiness? It's just bf-gf relationship, there no black and white. No paper signed, no official obligations. And with that he did not have official dibs on her. If he's serious and want to get other man's paws off her, then get her a ring. And if she really likes her current bf, then she'll stay true to him. If she thinks danny is better, then she'll go for him. She got her choice. It's not danny 'stealing' her; he just give her more 'options' I say dannySketch should go for it. May the best man win.[/QUOTE] Welcome to douchebag school

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51945471]How is that bad? How do you know that dannySketch can't do better than her current boyfriend, or give her better happiness? It's just bf-gf relationship, there no black and white. No paper signed, no official obligations. And with that he did not have official dibs on her. If he's serious and want to get other man's paws off her, then get her a ring. And if she really likes her current bf, then she'll stay true to him. If she thinks danny is better, then she'll go for him. She got her choice. It's not danny 'stealing' her; he just give her more 'options' I say dannySketch should go for it. May the best man win.[/QUOTE] Haha no, don't listen to anything this guy says. He's proven time and time again that he has no clue what he's talking about.

Honestly it's kind of a dick move to go in between two people who are in a relationship. It has nothing to do with "if you steal, they can be stolen from you." bs. The issue is that forcing yourself in between a relationship puts pressure on the person you "care", or are so "in love" with. Basically you'll make the girl you like feel like crap because you're selfish and cannot handle your own emotions. Besides, have some moral integrity. Good luck starting a relationship with someone by making them feel like crap. It's manipulative as hell too, ffs.

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;51945512]is this a real post? if you can steal someone from someone else, they can be stolen from you, end of story[/QUOTE] As I said, it's not 'stealing' at all. If someone wanted to try to charm my gf away from me, then be my guest. If she thought the other guy is better after a serious and fair consideration, then by all means go with him. (I don't want to keep such unfaithful girl anyway) After all, I don't have that kind of authority over her. Even though we seemingly love each other, but i cannot deny the fact that the relationship was not backed with concrete proof. No black and white. No concrete obligations. Of course I would feel terrible, but I had to face reality. It's a different story if we're married though. By marrying, you're signing up for real responsibilities. You're building an official institution. An oath were made. An agreement was signed. That means the other person can't just pull out from the relationship as easily as they did. They had responsibilities to fullfill the oath. So, taking away another's wife would not be appropriate. There are various type of relationship with different type of privilege and responsibilities. Gotta differentiate between them, and keep grounded on reality.

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51945546]As I said, it's not 'stealing' at all. If someone wanted to try to charm my gf away from me, then be my guest. If she thought the other guy is better after a serious and fair consideration, then by all means go with him. (I don't want to keep such unfaithful girl anyway) It's a different story if we're married though. By marrying, you're signing up for real responsibilities. You're building an official institution. An oath were made. An agreement was signed. That means the other person can't just pull out from the relationship as easily as they did. They had responsibilities to fullfill the oath. So, taking away another's wife would not be appropriate. There are various type of relationship with different type of privilege and responsibilities. Gotta differentiate them, and keep grounded on reality.[/QUOTE] can i have the drugs you're on i've been looking for a quality high, and this seems to fit the bill

have you ever been on the receiving end of someone worming their way into your relationship and breaking it up I have and it was fucking horrible, doing that makes you the scummiest cunt of a person

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51945546]As I said, it's not 'stealing' at all. If someone wanted to try to charm my gf away from me, then be my guest. If she thought the other guy is better after a serious and fair consideration, then by all means go with him. It's a different story if we're married though. By marrying, you're signing up for real responsibilities. You're building an official institution. An oath were made. An agreement was signed. That means the other person can't just pull out from the relationship as easily as they did. They had responsibilities to fullfill the oath. So, taking away another's wife would not be appropriate.[/QUOTE] Your point is that unless you're married it's okay to have no loyalty to your partner? How can you even have a relationship with that attitude.

You want to be in her pants more than you want to be in her heart if you try to peel her away from her boyfriend. I've had feelings for a few friends that had boyfriends. It happens. It sucks. But if you actually respect the person you're not going to put their life in that much conflict just so you can 'ava go with them.

[QUOTE=dcalde78;51945558]have you ever been on the receiving end of someone worming their way into your relationship and breaking it up I have and it was fucking horrible, doing that makes you the scummiest cunt of a person[/QUOTE] I kind of did, about a month ago. No hard feelings; she lose interest. Of course it felt bad though (felt really bad actually :hammered: ), but I'm not such a prize either for her to swear undying loyalty to me without concrete ties [QUOTE=OvB;51945569]You want to be in her pants more than you want to be in her heart if you try to peel her away from her boyfriend. I've had feelings for a few friends that had boyfriends. It happens. It sucks. But if you actually respect the person you're not going to put their life in that much conflict just so you can 'ava go with them.[/QUOTE] DannySketch isnt trying to get in her pants. According to his post, he just wanted to invite her to a show of some sort that will also be attended by his mother+sister, and in the process, getting closer and win her heart.

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51945591]I kind of did, about a month ago. No hard feelings; she lose interest. Of course it felt bad though (felt really bad actually :hammered: ), but I'm not such a prize either for her to swear undying loyalty to me without concrete ties [B]DannySketch isnt trying to get in her pants. According to his post, he just wanted to invite her to a show of some sort that will also be attended by his mother+sister, and in the process, getting closer and win her heart[/B].[/QUOTE] so get to getting in her pants?

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51945546] If she thought the other guy is better after a serious and fair consideration, then by all means go with him. (I don't want to keep such unfaithful girl anyway)[/QUOTE] If you don't want to keep an "unfaithful" person then how can you reason that it's ok to pursue people who are in relationships? Because fyi, if they're entering into a relationship while they're already in one, they're inherently BEING unfaithful

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51945546]As I said, it's not 'stealing' at all. If someone wanted to try to charm my gf away from me, then be my guest. If she thought the other guy is better after a serious and fair consideration, then by all means go with him. (I don't want to keep such unfaithful girl anyway) After all, i don't have that kind of authority over her. Even though we seemingly love each other, but i cannot deny the fact that the relationship was not backed with concrete proof. No black and white. No concrete obligations. Of course I would feel terrible, but I had to face reality. It's a different story if we're married though. By marrying, you're signing up for real responsibilities. You're building an official institution. An oath were made. An agreement was signed. That means the other person can't just pull out from the relationship as easily as they did. They had responsibilities to fullfill the oath. So, taking away another's wife would not be appropriate. There are various type of relationship with different type of privilege and responsibilities. Gotta differentiate between them, and keep grounded on reality.[/QUOTE] you appear to view any form of commitment barring marriage as a lighthearted affair. i feel like this is a misguided viewpoint, people have valid reasons to not marry and yet still seriously commit long-term to another. when it comes to interpersonal relations a concrete foundation isn't a necessity. we are not building a house. we are building a set of emotions and feelings between two people, neither of which are exactly solid and are absolutely liable to change- but these feelings are definitely real and have a notable effect on the lives of the people that are subjected to them. by entering a relationship you are responsible for the other person socially, and to an extent emotionally, but not necessarily legally. marriage is a different matter entirely and is simply a legal basis through which people obtain benefits by becoming a single unit in the eyes of the law. it doesn't require any personal interest at all. it doesn't make a couple any more responsible. marriage is nearly as easily stripped away as it is created. 40-50% of marriages result in divorce according to American Psychological Administration. people like to attribute marriage as the ultimate state of any relationship but that does not by any means make marriage everyone's end goal, nor should it.

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;51945671]so get to getting in her pants?[/QUOTE] I can only say this for me, but 'trying to get her to like me' is not the same as 'trying to have sex with her'. When I like a person, the fact that she holds the same feelings toward me is the best thing in the deal. Others are just bonus. Sorry for asking this, but does all your pursuits were just to get in their pants?

[QUOTE=ZombieWaffle;51945684] marriage is a different matter entirely and is simply a legal basis through which people obtain benefits by becoming a single unit in the eyes of the law. it doesn't require any personal interest at all. it doesn't make a couple any more responsibility. .[/QUOTE] It does. Child support/guradianships, divisions of properties that were bought together, sharing or properties, ect, which all involves a lot of money, and time. Money is like, one of the most important thing? [editline]11th March 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=Loofiloo;51945675]If you don't want to keep an "unfaithful" person then how can you reason that it's ok to pursue people who are in relationships? Because fyi, if they're entering into a relationship while they're already in one, they're inherently BEING unfaithful[/QUOTE] They are being unfaithful to the [B]previous[/B] guy, not to me. She likes me more than that guy. There is no guarantee that she'll be unfaithful to every guy she met. Unfaithfulness is not a general state of a person towards everybody, it's an action towards another person .

Fuck it, I'll see her tomorrow, I'm going for it. Will post results

[QUOTE=dannyketch;51945750]Fuck it, I'll see her tomorrow, I'm going for it. Will post results[/QUOTE] make sure she's holding a drink in her hand so she can throw it in your face

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;51945766]make sure she's holding a drink in her hand so she can throw it in your face[/QUOTE] That's mean. They are just going to see a show with his mom, not doing a Jenna Jameson's taking it 4 ways simultaneously

I just lurk here to soak in some of the absolutely phenomenal insight and advice for these things as I have no proper experience in relationships. But even as inexperienced as I am, with just common sense I can tell that danny's idea is garbage and will just result in grief. And hakim's "advice" wouldn't sink for me even at my most desperate.

[QUOTE=dannyketch;51945750]Fuck it, I'll see her tomorrow, I'm going for it. Will post results[/QUOTE] I hope you do and I hope she leaves your life forever as a result. What a dumb fucking idea. "Let me attempt to slowly tear apart someone else's relationship for my own good".

... I still feel like an utter asshole for even pondering about trying to do something with a friend when the guy she was starting a relationship back then moved abroad, and I really admire how they grew closer even with a long distance relationship, as well as with their constant efforts to turn it short-distance even if only for a weekend at a time. The mentality some users are displaying is sickening, and utterly devaluating of fellow human beings.

[QUOTE=bdd458;51945827]I hope you do and I hope she leaves your life forever as a result. What a dumb fucking idea. "Let me attempt to slowly tear apart someone else's relationship for my own good".[/QUOTE] I used to like a girl from my old job but I looked at her Facebook and saw she had a boyfriend even though she flirted with me everyday. I never made a move on her because she was in a relationship

If you're out here trying to hit on someone already in a relationship, you're a shitheel tbh lmao. What a goober.

his big date idea is inviting her to a magic show with his mom and sister something tells me this ~master plan~ isn't really going anywhere

[QUOTE=Eriorguez;51945843]... I still feel like an utter asshole for even pondering about trying to do something with a friend when the guy she was starting a relationship back then moved abroad, and I really admire how they grew closer even with a long distance relationship, as well as with their constant efforts to turn it short-distance even if only for a weekend at a time. The mentality some users are displaying is sickening, and utterly devaluating of fellow human beings.[/QUOTE] I had a friend back in uni, and he had a gf there. They seems really serious, meeting each other family, planning for engagement, ect When we graduate, the gf seems to be sort of trying to end the relationship. We check her FB, and it's plain as day that theres's another guy hitting on her. My friend broke up not long after. More like the girl dumped him. Now, of course he was devastated. I felt exceedingly cross with her, even unfriended her on FB. But is it the new guy's fault thing end up that way? No, he just play it fair, and get her to like him more than she likes my friend. If she likes my friend more, she would have stayed with him. My friend and the new guy played the same game; competing for her heart. Did the new guy ruin my friend's relationship? Yes he did. But he loves her as much as my friends did. He's not being cruel or irresponsible to her. He seems to be putting on effort to make her happy. They're even engaged now. And last time I checked, she does looks happy and content. His action brings grief to my friend, but it's not a wrong move in and of itself. He won her fair and square. His act of going after her does not necessarily cause her grief. Now, my friend is engaged to his co-worker, planning to get married. He accept his losses,and moved on. He accepts it even better than me, which I admit still angry with her. He does not blame the new guy. Now that's how a gentleman handle relationships. Looking at DannySketch situation, I assumed that he's still a kid, a teen at most. Just give him a break, and let him learn. Crushing him now with insults wont benefit him. I understand that some of us might be insecure in the idea of having other guys hitting on our gf, but you can be assured that it will be inevitable at some point in life. Better improve yourself instead, be the best man

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51946355] Did the new guy ruin my friend's relationship? Yes he did. But he loves her as much as my friends did.[/QUOTE] this is a flawed argument, by your tale it seems like it was more or less over by the time the new guy came around. it's completely different if one party becomes emotionally detached from the relationship. you don't know what exactly happened with your friend and the girl, at least i think you don't because you (conveniently) left out any details of their relationship. what if they had different ideas for the future? what if something happened and made her rethink and ultimately cancel any plans she had with him? your tale leaves these details out, then spins the idea that the new guy started flirting with her regardless of her relationship status, and not because of it. i'm guessing you unfriended her out of some form of disgust, which just really proves our point - don't do this, because it makes one or both of you look like dicks. if you try to butt in on a relationship, and she calls you out on it, you now look like a dick and will probably lose any mutual friends if you try to butt in on a relationship, and it works, now you both look like assholes - you, for breaking the relationship up, and her for not only allowing it to happen but by not ending it with her current boyfriend on more respectable terms

what hakim is saying is the dumbest shit I've read in a while

The thing is, by showing that you can't [I]wait[/I] or [I]move on[/I], you're painting yourself as someone who has zero respect for people's attachments and relationships. Which is gross and not at all desirable? You hinge their relationship entirely on whether or not [I]you[/I] think it should end when their relationship has nothing to do with you. You're a self-centered dumbass with no capacity for empathy or respectful boundaries and you're more concerned with your wants and needs than you are with hers. If you're gonna be out here trying to end a relationship purely for your benefit then I don't care what you think about yourself or how righteous you feel it is to take advantage and push yourself onto someone who is already committed, you're a grade-A obtuse piece of garbage and you shouldn't be dating anyone until you can grow up and realize that the world doesn't revolve around you and your needs, ya self-entitled dingbat.