Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[QUOTE=Blueridge;51946409]this is a flawed argument, by your tale it seems like it was more or less over by the time the new guy came around. it's completely different if one party becomes emotionally detached from the relationship. you don't know what exactly happened with your friend and the girl, at least i think you don't because you (conveniently) left out any details of their relationship. [/QUOTE] Of course I don't know ALL of them. But I know enough. Both my friend and his gf were, like the best couple in our department. Her parent even approved of him, he's like their family's already. After they started working separately, we began to see her fb wall being commented persistently by the guy. And by that time, the girl began to indirectly hinted that they are not really get along with each other anymore. My friends still make back and forth trip to visit her, but most of the time he received cold shoulder treatment, and the girl complaining about random stuff. Starts blaming him and stuff. They are both doctors, no significance difference of life-plan between them. Just the usual get a job->get married. The traditional life. And it's pretty understandable that she left my friend. The new guy seem to be way more good-looking, and looks rich. Even had the same job as my friend. Seems like a decent guy overall. They both uncannily played the same game, only the new guy won. And when did I butt in their relationship? All I do is unfriended her, a trash cleanup. She isnt even a good acquaintance of mine, no loss there. [QUOTE=Pascall;51946505] you're a grade-A obtuse piece of garbage and you shouldn't be dating anyone until you can grow up and realize that the world doesn't revolve around you and your needs, ya self-entitled dingbat.[/QUOTE] Isn't this flaming?

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51946531] [B]Isn't this flaming?[/B][/QUOTE] the royal you is my favorite way to avoid flaming :)

Aside from what Pascall already said, how fucking desperate do you have to be to waste your time courting someone who is already taken?

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51946531] Isn't this flaming?[/QUOTE] Not talking to anyone in particular but if the shoe fits, my man.

TBH a pair of mates of mine became a couple despite him having a long-term relationship with a different girl, but the way they clicked together was incredible, it was blatantly obvious they had feelings for each other, and keeping the other relationship going would end up in unhappiness for all three parties. So, you may end up in a relationship with somebody who already is in a relationship, but people who are in a relationship are pretty much the exact opposite of potential partners; leave them be, their relationship is not your business. And don't try to ruin a relationship so you may try to reap benefits: A person who would ruin somebody else's relationships is just an egotistical asshole who doesn't really care about others.

[QUOTE=Eriorguez;51946654]So, you may end up in a relationship with somebody who already is in a relationship, but people who are in a relationship are pretty much the exact opposite of potential partners; leave them be, their relationship is not your business. And don't try to ruin a relationship so you may try to reap benefits: A person who would ruin somebody else's relationships is just an egotistical asshole who doesn't really care about others.[/QUOTE] Shit like this also has karma come out in full force. If a guy/girl emotionally/physically cheats with you, the interloper, while they're in a relationship with someone else - consider it a near certainty that [I]that's [/I]how it'll end for the two of you as well. I've watched it happen to two dudes I was acquainted with. He thought he was being the "alpha dog" that went out and got what he wanted. Both of them wrecked long term relationships to try and get with someone, both were tossed by the wayside, poorer and very ashamed of their decision when Captain Hindsight showed up to remind them of what shameful pricks they both were. Mind you, this isn't me absolving the women in this case - the only person I felt sorry for was the guy getting cheated on. It takes two to cheat, so as despicable as the guy is, the woman has equal share of the blame. It'd be different if she felt something was there (without you hitting on her constantly) and decided she wanted more from her relationship (and had, in fairness, tried to work with her partner to get), but you don't become the wedge in someone else's relationship; that's just a shitty thing to do for the guy and you're not really being a friend/care about the girl either. In human culture, this is considered a dick move.

I think about her a lot. It was really surprising this happened but the first day I saw her I got feelings for her. It would be really nice if I could see her more so I got to ask her if she wants to be friends on Facebook and see where it goes from there. She lives quite a distance from me though but i don't think that's going to be an issue because it's not that far.

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51946531]Isn't this flaming?[/QUOTE] Yeah where are the mods????

[QUOTE=hakimhakim]And with that he did not have official dibs on her[/quote] [quote]I say dannySketch should go for it. May the best man win.[/QUOTE] [quote]My friend and the new guy played the same game; competing for her heart.[/quote] [quote]He won her fair and square[/quote] [quote]They both uncannily played the same game, only the new guy won.[/quote] Is it alien to you that not everyone treats relationships like a fucking tournament? Here's a tip: if you want to treat women as actual human beings instead of trophies in some sort of competition, then respect their relationship choices [editline]12th March 2017[/editline] And we can't forget about the guy you're trying to fuck over, too. You're being an opportunistic douchebag if you choose to 'play a game' they never signed up for. As if this objectifying "competition" mentality wasn't disgusting enough on its own, it's not like you can claim you know what 'fair and square' even means in this situation like you have, because the whole setup makes it necessary for you to go behind the guy's back to win your neanderthal contest

If she has any sense, she'll scoff him off anyways. I obviously don't condemn trying to "win someone over" from another guy (love isn't a fucking game), but the last thing to win a girl over would be a mom and sister magic show date lmao

whatever happened to a good old fashioned gentlemen's duel are we all soft

if you're going to treat women like objects to be won, really you should just buy a fleshlight instead

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51947378]Hakim, you're treating women like they're some object to be won. It is disgusting. They are people. You must take their feelings into consideration. If you were friends or truely cared about them beyond what you can get out of the relationship, you would do that.[/QUOTE] Nope I dont, you did. They have as much freedom as anybody, and can choose anybody. By thinking that the girl is your right to be monopolized, and you're the best man for her, thus preventing her by looking into better options by shitting on her and the new guy, now that's treating them as objects, not to mention self-entitled. Beside, a girl usually won't break up with her bf, THEN finding a new guy. Most of the time, if for whatever reason she's open to new options WHILE in a relationship, she'll usually weight her options first, no breaking up right away. She evaluates the guys whom she know into her, and THEN decides to break up if she wanted the new guy. Totally understandable, because she wouldn't be sure if the next guy is definitely better, so she'll rather keep her current state of relationship as a security, and only officially move on if she's convinced of the new guy. Trying to get her to like you is not equal to destroying people happiness/feelings. She would have to weigh her options first, and then she'll get to choose which would bring her more happiness (no matter what the actual results will be). In many cases it's an improvement. Her current relationship is not static. It could be stale, or fiery hot, or worsening, or improving. Goal of life could change. Of course it would make sense for her to change her prospect and priorities over time. Of course it would be ideal if the usual flow would be --> in relationship --> break up --> finds new relationship But in the real world that is not the case. Phases would get mixed. Peoples will be unsure. Life gets complicated. Most of the time it would be -- In relationship (happy)--> plateau/Disparity (in relationship) --> looking for options (still in relationship) ---> stays/leave the relationship/form new relationship Only when she totally abhor the current guy, will she ditch him without looking for new relationship first (as a backup)

you're gross, hakim.

[QUOTE=LaughingStock;51947294]whatever happened to a good old fashioned gentlemen's duel are we all soft[/QUOTE] Well, you could still have it, but then once you're done with the duel, the policeman on scene will shoot the duel winner in the face and [I]he'll[/I] be the one dating your crush. Is that what you want? Farva dating your sweetie? :v: [URL="http://baylorlariat.com/2013/02/19/viewpoint-duke-it-out-mutual-combat-duels-still-allowed-in-texas/"]Seriously though, this is an interesting article about dueling and naturally, Texas's need to feel "speshul" in this regard.[/URL]

Went out drinking friday night with the new group of friends i talked about last post. Damn it was a gr8 time. After that early morning i got a call from an old friend who somehow remembered me and asked me to go running with her. Nothing like going for a jog while still having alcohol in your blood. It's amazing how everything is working out now.

[QUOTE=LaughingStock;51947294]whatever happened to a good old fashioned gentlemen's duel are we all soft[/QUOTE] This sounds fun, as someone who spars 2x a week, maybe Hakim wants to challenge me for my non-existant girlfriend

I was planning on writing an entire post about trying to 'steal' someone away, but why bother. If you seriously try you're scum.

yeah that's really not cool at all trying to fuck over someone's relationship up by trying to get with her

Hakim, I totally get where you're coming from, but I totally understand why you're getting so much hate for it. Personally I wouldn't ever approach someone who I knew was occupied. But at the same I think there is a lot of absolute opinions in this thread that's not beneficial for the discussion. Stuff that just isn't helpful that only serves to kill discussions, such as: [QUOTE=Limed00d;51947979]you're gross, hakim.[/QUOTE] I think that instead of jumping to conclusions think another extra second before posting. There are no absolute rules when it comes to stuff like this, only opinions. And while I agree with that you shouldn't go after people who already have partners I'm in no way going to insult someone for having a different opinion than me. People come from different cultures, have different experiences and values as well as different philosophies in life. If something isn't criminal, why should you insult them for that? It's quite a toxic attitude in here at the moment and I'm failing to see how it will accomplish anything. You won't convince anyone what you believe is right and you cannot grow as a person and widen your own way of thinking if you don't even try to see something from someone else's perspective. With that said, I'd like to say that I wouldn't want to be together with someone I've "won" while they were together with someone else because if that person has done it once what's stopping them from doing it again? It's like a get treated the way you treat other mindset I have when it comes to this because I sure wouldn't want someone going after my partner. [QUOTE=Pascall;51946505] If you're gonna be out here trying to end a relationship purely for your benefit then I don't care what you think about yourself or how righteous you feel it is to take advantage and push yourself onto someone who is already committed, you're a grade-A obtuse piece of garbage and you shouldn't be dating anyone until you can grow up and realize that the world doesn't revolve around you and your needs, ya self-entitled dingbat.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Pascall;51946598]Not talking to anyone in particular but if the shoe fits, my man.[/QUOTE] Uhm, if you used that logic you could make it apparently obvious you're flaming someone while you're "Not talking to anyone in particular". I'm fairly certain I've seen people get banned for that. [editline]12th March 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;51948155]I was planning on writing an entire post about trying to 'steal' someone away, but why bother. If you seriously try you're scum.[/QUOTE] Another example of how to not leave a good post. This is actually worse because you're not even giving your thought on the issue you are just insulting someone.

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51945471]How is that bad? How do you know that dannySketch can't do better than her current boyfriend, or give her better happiness? It's just bf-gf relationship, there no black and white. No paper signed, no official obligations. And with that he did not have official dibs on her. If he's serious and want to get other man's paws off her, then get her a ring. And if she really likes her current bf, then she'll stay true to him. If she thinks danny is better, then she'll go for him. She got her choice. It's not danny 'stealing' her; he just give her more 'options' I say dannySketch should go for it. May the best man win.[/QUOTE] God I hate people that treat relationships like it's some sort of dong measurement contest. Is just sad.

i don't completely disagree with hakim, she does have a right to choose if they cheat on me fuck'm, they have every right to say no at any point, I resist so much fucking temptation, tell people no, because i know it'll hurt my SO, and they can't even reject one person, not even caring about how you'll feel in the end, throwing away 2 years in a weekend, and they won't even have the decency or empathy to tell you straight up, you find it in their god damn messages, and in a mistake they accidentally send you a message meant for the other person and to whoever's doing it, if she'll cheat for you she'll cheat on you and that's all you deserve(or if he'll cheat for you, he'll cheat on you, whatever your preference) i hope they experience heartbreak on the level i've felt, staring at the ceiling, mind blank loyalty and sincerity is hard to find these days and i wish i didn't care

This reminds me of the weird Zen Tao Buddhist guy who used to post here

Very thought-provoking post, IQ-Guldfisk. However, this argument between hakimhakim and the rest of this thread reminds me of the arguments between liberals and conservatives or atheists and theists. We all have strong beliefs that cannot be changed through arguments. The only way strong beliefs change is through change in our internal or external environments, and I do not see hakimhakim doing either of those.

[QUOTE=hakimhakim;51947961]Beside, a girl usually won't break up with her bf, THEN finding a new guy. Most of the time, if for whatever reason she's open to new options WHILE in a relationship, she'll usually weight her options first, no breaking up right away. She evaluates the guys whom she know into her, and THEN decides to break up if she wanted the new guy.[/QUOTE] This is the part I have an issue with. The assumption that all women feel the need to be in a relationship 100% of the time and will only leave one if they're entering a new one. It pains me that you don't realize how sexist this is.

If he wants to have a different opinion that's fine, but the rest of the thread is within their right to have the opinion that people who do that are scumbags. If someone wants to play the "it's just my opinion" card, then everyone else can as well.

[QUOTE=Pascall;51948994]If he wants to have a different opinion that's fine, but the rest of the thread is within their right to have the opinion that people who do that are scumbags. If someone wants to play the "it's just my opinion" card, then everyone else can as well.[/QUOTE] Yes, of course. My point is that if that's your only opinion perhaps you should consider not posting. All it does is divide you even further from whoever you are talking to and in this case it created sort of a mob mentality which leads to nothing except for both sides flinging shit instead of having a constructive discussion.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51949030]This entire board is opinions. Some people just have really bad, misguided, never works in reality opinions and deservingly need to be called out on that. ESPECIALLY in a thread like this where there are lurkers who may actually try to follow someone's bad advice. We do not need more bad relationship advice in the world. This dude talks about women like they're some predictable machine. "Oh well here is what girls REALLY think about in a relationship..." like dude, you are not in their head. Not every girl is the same. Because they're[I] people[/I]. And [I]people[/I] are unique.[/QUOTE] Yes! I agree with you! But can you see the difference between a post like this: [QUOTE=Fire Kracker;51948728]i don't completely disagree with hakim, she does have a right to choose if they cheat on me fuck'm, they have every right to say no at any point, I resist so much fucking temptation, tell people no, because i know it'll hurt my SO, and they can't even reject one person, not even caring about how you'll feel in the end, throwing away 2 years in a weekend, and they won't even have the decency or empathy to tell you straight up, you find it in their god damn messages, and in a mistake they accidentally send you a message meant for the other person and to whoever's doing it, if she'll cheat for you she'll cheat on you and that's all you deserve(or if he'll cheat for you, he'll cheat on you, whatever your preference) i hope they experience heartbreak on the level i've felt, staring at the ceiling, mind blank loyalty and sincerity is hard to find these days and i wish i didn't care[/QUOTE] And this? [QUOTE=Araknid;51946448]what hakim is saying is the dumbest shit I've read in a while[/QUOTE] Perhaps I was unclear, I want you all to lay out your opinions and tie them to your experiences, your cultural background and your view on life. That way we will actually get proper advice that people can relate to, take to heart and learn from. Someone asking "should I do X and Y" and people only replying "Do Y" doesn't really explain what they are basing that suggestion on. Personally I think you would want some context as to why you should do, or as in this case why you shouldn't do something.

My opinion is that anyone who flirts with someone already in a relationship reeks of a desperation that discards social norms like I think I'm quite desperate and pathetic, trying to find a girl left and right just so I don't feel lonely and not loved, but if I can't find a single girl interested in me I don't think I'd find someone who's in a relationship [editline]12th March 2017[/editline] plus I'd feel pretty shitty knowing I've "snatched a girl from another guy", whatever this sexist sentence means anyway

The other day I stopped at a store and there was this girl working one of the registers. I've seen her at the local CC a few times, decided to walk up to her register; because why not? I mentioned that she looked familiar because of above and found out why I haven't seen her around lately in some classes. Didn't really get much time to talk to her since there were people behind me, wasn't even able to mention my name, but found out she switched to regular engineering classes. After that it was see you around. Next time i'm there I'll try to ask what classes and when she has them, since most of mine are in the evening. If it helps she smiled. I know its taboo to kinda get to know someone while they're at work but that's all I have to go off. Any advice?