Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[QUOTE=Branflakes;51949116]The other day I stopped at a store and there was this girl working one of the registers. I've seen her at the local CC a few times, decided to walk up to her register; because why not? I mentioned that she looked familiar because of above and found out why I haven't seen her around lately in some classes. Didn't really get much time to talk to her since there were people behind me, wasn't even able to mention my name, but found out she switched to regular engineering classes. After that it was see you around. Next time i'm there I'll try to ask what classes and when she has them, since most of mine are in the evening. If it helps she smiled. I know its taboo to kinda get to know someone while they're at work but that's all I have to go off. Any advice?[/QUOTE] time for my regularly scheduled "people in customer service positions are literally paid to smile when interacting with customers"

[QUOTE=Blazyd;51928303]I can't make any friends at college but I just made a new girl friend back home. She posted her snapchat name on her insta story and I added her then one day she replied to one of my snap stories and we started talking and now we plan to hang out next week over my spring break!! We were talking and she texted me like "I was gonna ask you to get chinese food w me but forgot you're at college" so I know she's interesting in hanging out. Gotta love girls that take the initiative and ask you first to do stuff. I wish it was that easy to make friends here at college, though.[/QUOTE] So we were supposed to hang out yesterday but suddenly my texts won't even deliver to her. She made a snapchat story early yesterday saying "someone please lend me a gun so I can shoot myself". I sent 2 texts that are still undelivered and 1 snapchat that remains unopened. I wonder if something happened to her phone maybe? :/

[QUOTE=Blazyd;51949344]So we were supposed to hang out yesterday but suddenly my texts won't even deliver to her. She made a snapchat story early yesterday saying "someone please lend me a gun so I can shoot myself". I sent 2 texts that are still undelivered and 1 snapchat that remains unopened. I wonder if something happened to her phone maybe? :/[/QUOTE] Sadly I don't think there's anything wrong with her phone. Idk what kind of phone you or her have but with Iphones if the number you are texting has you blocked it just wont deliver (dunno about other phone types). It happened to my best friend with a guy she liked, texts suddenly weren't getting delivered and snaps unopened. Then a couple weeks after he messages her and says he's not really interested anymore and found someone else. You can only guess how well that went over with her...

just gonna dump this for anyone: if you're snap friends with someone, and all of a sudden you can't see their score, they unfriended you if you're snap friends with someone, and all of a sudden the conversation disappears, they've blocked you

On imessage it says "delivered" when you send a text to another person with an iphone. We both have iphones, so my texts send but the little "delivered" message doesn't show up so that means she isn't receiving them. Our last convo was friday when I texted her "you wanna do something tomorrow night?? I'll be home" and she said "yes!!!!" (exact words) [QUOTE=LordCrypto;51949393]just gonna dump this for anyone: if you're snap friends with someone, and all of a sudden you can't see their score, they unfriended you if you're snap friends with someone, and all of a sudden the conversation disappears, they've blocked you[/QUOTE] wasn't unfriended or blocked

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;51949338]time for my regularly scheduled "people in customer service positions are literally paid to smile when interacting with customers"[/QUOTE] Wasn't a force customer service position smile, if I run into her again I run into her again.

[QUOTE=Branflakes;51949517]Wasn't a force customer service position smile, if I run into her again I run into her again.[/QUOTE] you just said you've hardly seen her how do you know that it wasn't a customer service smile

I don't, probably just blind optimism.

rule one of flirting with people you don't know in customer service positions: don't i realize this sounds kind of harsh and not situation specific, but generally if you don't have a pre-existing relationship with the person, don't bother trying to ask them about their schedule, or ask them on a date. the hit rate is so low as to be pointless.

[QUOTE=Blazyd;51949394]On imessage it says "delivered" when you send a text to another person with an iphone. We both have iphones, so my texts send but the little "delivered" message doesn't show up so that means she isn't receiving them. Our last convo was friday when I texted her "you wanna do something tomorrow night?? I'll be home" and she said "yes!!!!" (exact words) wasn't unfriended or blocked[/QUOTE] don't forget that we now live in an age where a single drop of a phone can render it unusable. if the texts aren't getting through, it would suggest something is wrong with the phone (this is from my limited memory of my iPhone 5c from 3 years ago though so I could be wrong)

Well, the conversation that went by yesterday made me think I had been a bit of an asshole last year, so I checked it up. [url=https://facepunch.com/showthread.php?t=1482859&p=49706143&viewfull=1#post49706143]Tell me, was this really much of a douchebag move?[/url] I am fully satisfied with the way things went through, I generated no drama and ended up making some good friends, but I feel somewhat dirty, even if it is just hindsight.

Hey guys, I need help. And desperately. I have a girlfriend (Going 6 months now) and it's been going.. alright, I guess. When we got together she immediately told me she is a difficult girlfriend, I was like "that's what all girls say, so whatever", but it's true. Let me start with the beginning. After we got together she told me she was into DDLG, not knowing what it was I kinda just rolled with it and now I'm stuck as a "Daddy" in this relationship, which is alright by me, because I get to be the boss, which I prefer anyway, except for the super clingy stuff. She also told me straight away she was diagnosed with borderline, a mental illness which is really, really difficult to describe. Now you know these 2 things, let's get to the story. So we started dating 6 months ago, things were going great. She told me she was into DDLG and I just rolled with it, until she came up with a lot of stuffies, basically robbing me from all my money (50 bucks+ each month) that I have left after paying everything I have to pay. (insurances etc.) I, of course, don't like it, but it makes her happy. After I realized this , it kinda made me sad. Every morning I woke up with the feeling "I don't have any money..". I also realized that after a month, she gets kinda grumpy again, and when I give her a new gift, she's all happy again, for a month. So that's that. 2nd thing: She takes up a lot of my time. Like, a lot. I am in class with her, so basically I see her at school, and I spend every moment with her. I can't spend any time with friends because I normally sit next to her. It's alright, but right now, I'd like to spend more time with my friends. So fast forward to about a week ago. I tell her I wanna be less clingy in class, and sit separate a little bit more often, so we can both work on friendships with other people. She freaks out, saying "am I not good enough?" and that kinda stuff. I kinda predicted this already, because she's very clingy and needy. But she also threatened to kill herself because of that. That is what freaked me out. Since then I've woken up and immediately thought "Well, the day really starts when I text my girlfriend. Then things will get tough". I don't like the fact that I have to text her. I like the quietness. But I love it when she's around me, we have fun. I talked to an online buddy of mine, which I play Rust with, and he said "I'm telling you this because you're a good kid, get out of that relationship, as quick as possible, it'll affect your mental health, it's not good." This is what confused me about my relationship. I love my girlfriend, but I also don't want to fuck up my mental health because of this. I just want to know you guys your opinion on this. What should I do? I feel like i'm stuck in this relationship and I don't want this anymore, but I also love her a lot, don't want to hurt her, and when she's around me, it's all fun. TL:DR: I think my girlfriend is mentally abusing me and I don't know what to do.

Have to clean up my twitter from edgy memes. I had someone ask if I could model for them, she asked for my insta and twitter. I gave her both without thinking about what was on my twitter, we set up and date and time and a few moments later she blocks me. I'm pretty sure what was on my twitter had done it because there is nothing weird on my insta and nothing weird on my snapchat.

[QUOTE=Rozelsky;51950259]Hey guys, I need help. And desperately. I have a girlfriend (Going 6 months now) and it's been going.. alright, I guess. When we got together she immediately told me she is a difficult girlfriend, I was like "that's what all girls say, so whatever", but it's true. Let me start with the beginning. After we got together she told me she was into DDLG, not knowing what it was I kinda just rolled with it and now I'm stuck as a "Daddy" in this relationship, which is alright by me, because I get to be the boss, which I prefer anyway, except for the super clingy stuff. She also told me straight away she was diagnosed with borderline, a mental illness which is really, really difficult to describe. Now you know these 2 things, let's get to the story. So we started dating 6 months ago, things were going great. She told me she was into DDLG and I just rolled with it, until she came up with a lot of stuffies, basically robbing me from all my money (50 bucks+ each month) that I have left after paying everything I have to pay. (insurances etc.) I, of course, don't like it, but it makes her happy. After I realized this , it kinda made me sad. Every morning I woke up with the feeling "I don't have any money..". I also realized that after a month, she gets kinda grumpy again, and when I give her a new gift, she's all happy again, for a month. So that's that. 2nd thing: She takes up a lot of my time. Like, a lot. I am in class with her, so basically I see her at school, and I spend every moment with her. I can't spend any time with friends because I normally sit next to her. It's alright, but right now, I'd like to spend more time with my friends. So fast forward to about a week ago. I tell her I wanna be less clingy in class, and sit separate a little bit more often, so we can both work on friendships with other people. She freaks out, saying "am I not good enough?" and that kinda stuff. I kinda predicted this already, because she's very clingy and needy. But she also threatened to kill herself because of that. That is what freaked me out. Since then I've woken up and immediately thought "Well, the day really starts when I text my girlfriend. Then things will get tough". I don't like the fact that I have to text her. I like the quietness. But I love it when she's around me, we have fun. I talked to an online buddy of mine, which I play Rust with, and he said "I'm telling you this because you're a good kid, get out of that relationship, as quick as possible, it'll affect your mental health, it's not good." This is what confused me about my relationship. I love my girlfriend, but I also don't want to fuck up my mental health because of this. I just want to know you guys your opinion on this. What should I do? I feel like i'm stuck in this relationship and I don't want this anymore, but I also love her a lot, don't want to hurt her, and when she's around me, it's all fun. TL:DR: I think my girlfriend is mentally abusing me and I don't know what to do.[/QUOTE] Yeah, I'm going to agree with your Rust buddy on this one. I know that the whole 'daddy/little girl' thing is a kink and that's cool 'n' all, but it sounds like you're not getting much out of it and she seems to be overly clingy and gold-diggerish. If you've already tried talking it out and can't come to agreement, think it's time to break it up. It doesn't sound healthy.

Hey, so I'm 20 and at uni, never been the outgoing sort, so never been on a date or done anything with a girl before. Worked with this girl on a 2 week work experience placement near home just under 2 years and she seemed something special. Anyway, I got her on Facebook at the time but never got round to doing anything about it. I'd like to try to meet up with her when I'm back home, but have I left it too late or doesn't it hurt to send a message and see? It may be that she doesn't remember me, I dunno, I guess I'd only find out by messaging. Just wanted to know your thoughts I guess, is it too long ago, is it a bit odd?

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51950419]Leave. In similar situations, one person is clingy and shit because they're using the other person as a mental crutch. Her insecurities, lack of friends, lack of goals, they all end up being solved by the same person (i.e. you) and that is not healthy. Not only does it harm her because she can't learn to become dependent, it harms you because you get the blunt force of all of her issues. Does this sound like it describes her?[/QUOTE] Fuckin' hell you just described her better than I ever could. But I love her, and don't want to hurt her. Her mom already sort of bullies her and I don't want her to harm herself because of me or that her mom will say "this is why he left you". I don't want that. How do I fix this?

[QUOTE=skidude;51950525]Hey, so I'm 20 and at uni, never been the outgoing sort, so never been on a date or done anything with a girl before. Worked with this girl on a 2 week work experience placement near home just under 2 years and she seemed something special. Anyway, I got her on Facebook at the time but never got round to doing anything about it. I'd like to try to meet up with her when I'm back home, but have I left it too late or doesn't it hurt to send a message and see? It may be that she doesn't remember me, I dunno, I guess I'd only find out by messaging. Just wanted to know your thoughts I guess, is it too long ago, is it a bit odd?[/QUOTE] I don't see the harm in sending a message.

[QUOTE=Rozelsky;51950625]Fuckin' hell you just described her better than I ever could. But I love her, and don't want to hurt her. Her mom already sort of bullies her and I don't want her to harm herself because of me or that her mom will say "this is why he left you". I don't want that. How do I fix this?[/QUOTE] you don't you are sticking your dick in crazy, and the longer you stick your dick in crazy the more likely the crazy turns into a blender and then there goes your dick

[QUOTE=Rozelsky;51950625]Fuckin' hell you just described her better than I ever could. But I love her, and don't want to hurt her. Her mom already sort of bullies her and I don't want her to harm herself because of me or that her mom will say "this is why he left you". I don't want that. How do I fix this?[/QUOTE] Not your responsibility You can't fix her family issues anyway, you're no god

Might see her Wednesday after all it doesn't say blizzard anymore but rain/snow

[QUOTE=SebiWarrior;51950659]Not your responsibility You can't fix her family issues anyway, you're no god[/QUOTE] I learned this the hard way with a lot of girls i've dated. You can't fix everyone. You can't control everything. You can't solve another person's family crisis. Sometimes you just gotta know when to step away and cut your losses for your own health and safety and mental sanity.

DD/LG only ever works if both people are actually on board with it. Sounds like you kinda just went along with what she wanted which is never good. That and the fact that she's pretty much robbing you blind and acting ridiculous about whether or not you leave her, you're definitely not in for a good time. You may hurt her by leaving her, but ultimately, if she has the capacity to harm herself or worse, then that's not your responsibility. You're not a therapist, you're not a negotiator, you don't have the qualifications to stop her from doing these things and no one should expect you to. If you really think she's in danger from herself, you call the police and let them know that she might need a home visit to make sure she's not gonna hurt herself at some point. That's the best you or anyone else can do. Get out and get out fast. Especially since it seems like you're pretty young still? I wouldn't engage in kink stuff outside of the bedroom unless it's 100% your thing tbh. That's always fuckin' weird if only one person is into it and you can tell the other is screamin' for help internally.

[QUOTE=Rozelsky;51950625]I don't want her to harm herself because of me[/QUOTE] One thing you really need to have clear is that if you break up with somebody and they do something self-harmful, that is not YOUR fault. You can't be blamed for what somebody does alone, on their own time. The very act of putting you in that position is wrong for somebody to do, whether they actually mean it or not. It's extremely manipulative. Arguably even malicious.

[QUOTE=Pascall;51950752] You may hurt her by leaving her, but ultimately, if she has the capacity to harm herself or worse, then that's not your responsibility. You're not a therapist, you're not a negotiator, you don't have the qualifications to stop her from doing these things and no one should expect you to. If you really think she's in danger from herself, you call the police and let them know that she might need a home visit to make sure she's not gonna hurt herself at some point. That's the best you or anyone else can do. Get out and get out fast. Especially since it seems like you're pretty young still? I wouldn't engage in kink stuff outside of the bedroom unless it's 100% your thing tbh. That's always fuckin' weird if only one person is into it and you can tell the other is screamin' for help internally.[/QUOTE] I am pretty young indeed, 17, and I know this relationship is not gonna be forever, but it just keeps getting more and more difficult. As for outside of the bedroom, well, she calls me "Daddy" outside, and on pictures on snapchat. At first it was kinda getting used to. I am still not a 100% comfortable with it, but I just roll with it as it again, makes her happy. I really wanna cut ties but again, she's in my class, so we see each other 24/7, and I kinda just don't have the balls to hurt her like that.

[QUOTE=Rozelsky;51952302]I am pretty young indeed, 17, and I know this relationship is not gonna be forever, but it just keeps getting more and more difficult. As for outside of the bedroom, well, she calls me "Daddy" outside, and on pictures on snapchat. At first it was kinda getting used to. I am still not a 100% comfortable with it, but I just roll with it as it again, makes her happy. I really wanna cut ties but again, she's in my class, so we see each other 24/7, and I kinda just don't have the balls to hurt her like that.[/QUOTE] Well, do you see it getting any better? If not, you'll inevitably have to do it anyway. Just get it over with, really.

[QUOTE=FlameCow;51952381]Anybody have advice on getting over romantic feelings for a best friend? About a year ago, I told her that I have romantic feelings for her - she was uninterested. I feel like I only have two options: get over her, or cut contact; but those feelings have only gotten stronger and we've been close friends for nearly five years.[/QUOTE] I had a similar thing and once I was told no I just directed my focus towards other things. Prioritized her less when hanging in our group of friends. And just tried to feel comfortable with being single again and that worked for me. With a best friend I suppose it's more difficult because you're probably hanging alone together. I kind of have to agree with you on your options there, cut contact, (try to) get over her or maybe even talk to her about it. Say that you've tried to like lose feelings for her and it's not working so you'll have to like see each other less and say if you want to keep being friends or not. Tough situation, I hope it works out for you.

a few weeks ago i said some terrible shit to a bunch of people i am/was friends with relating to me not giving a shit about their problems causing me to lose them and now i fucking regret opening my mouth and saying dumb bullshit what can i do to mend this or do i just need to rely on time and stuff?

[QUOTE=fruxodaily;51952929]a few weeks ago i said some terrible shit to a bunch of people i am/was friends with relating to me not giving a shit about their problems causing me to lose them and now i fucking regret opening my mouth and saying dumb bullshit what can i do to mend this or do i just need to rely on time and stuff?[/QUOTE] Apologize. Give a shit about their problems. Listen. If you don't do any of this, time will only make the wound deeper, not heal.

[QUOTE=snookypookums;51953000]Apologize. Give a shit about their problems. Listen. If you don't do any of this, time will only make the wound deeper, not heal.[/QUOTE] ive apologised to one of them, the other im giving more time bc i know he will lash back either as roast or whatever because thats his nature i just dont know what to do AFTER that

Lately I've been having some issues with being separated from my SO, it makes me tense and anxious. Its even worse if she's out with friends while I'm rotting away at home. It makes me feel so ill but at the same time I don't understand why since she's not doing anything bad. I think I've become that person who uses their partner as a mental crutch. The smallest details makes me fear the biggest things and if I've set any expectations for how my day will go with her and it drifts slightly, I get irritated. Most of the time once the feelings start to fade I often find myself thinking that I was being incredibly irrational. I sort of understand why I feel the way I do, but I rarely think my reaction to it, being internally or shared, is appropriate. I don't think she has ever lied to me but yet I have issues trusting her when she says something. I don't think she'd lie at all when it comes to more serious topics but small things like excuses for whatever it might be gets me all suspicious. Most of the time I make up some sort of scenario up in my head that involves something negative about me that makes her make excuses. What do I do about this? I'm never 100% sure when I'm reacting appropriately or not but what I can say is that I react inappropriately a little too often. Even if I'm justified in reacting its usually always a little too much reacting. I'm not even sure if what I'm writing here is true or not since my SO claims that she understands why I react the way I do most of the time. I feel the opposite though, that I can't justify my reactions all the time. I'm afraid that if I really fit the bill of being the partner who uses their partner as a mental crutch, then maybe I'm just hitting the right spots to convince her that I'm justified in doing what I do, I don't even know.