Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

I can't wait for our concert coming up. I was surprised she managed to get us tickets before they sold out. It's going to be nice spending the time with her.

[QUOTE=redBadger;52081778]I suppose adding a girl randomly on facebook to strike up a conversation can be p weird considering I don't actually know the person :rollout:[/QUOTE] This girl was actually right behind me in line for food today and of course I got stuck in the wrong line and she jetted before I could pay for my food and say something. Gah!

I miss my ex so bad. We were together only 8 months and I brokeup with her a bit over 2 months ago even as she begged me to give it another chance. Now she's over it and starting to move on and I'm realizing how much I love her, how much she means to me and how I shouldn't have thrown it away over small mistakes. But now it's irrepairable and I can't get her back. Starting to feel very depressed over this.

I'll be visiting a friend for her birthday, but I'm not a native Dutch speaker. How can I mitigate embarrassment and/or attention grabbing? I'm contemplating ducking out early in the evening.

I think I'm starting to develop feelings for this girl who I really shouldn't because she has a boyfriend. We both went to this religious dinner thing with a group from school and I ended up drinking too much and she was caring for my drunk self the whole time and I really like her personality and we can make eachother laugh and have good convos etc etc etc (even when I'm not drunk!! I've known her since like the beginning of the school year from our schools religious program). I still like talking to her and being around her even knowing I can't be with her because I genuinely like who she is. Plus, we're both the same religion which actually matters to me (for dating, not just screwing around with. I fucked girls who are other religions and i don't care because I know I'm not gonna like marry them or anything, ya know???). Sucks I found a girl that hits all the nails on the head - pretty, good/similar personality, same religion, fun to be around and talk to, etc, and I can't go after her :(

[QUOTE=Blazyd;52087720]I think I'm starting to develop feelings for this girl who I really shouldn't because she has a boyfriend. We both went to this religious dinner thing with a group from school and I ended up drinking too much and she was caring for my drunk self the whole time and I really like her personality and we can make eachother laugh and have good convos etc etc etc (even when I'm not drunk!! I've known her since like the beginning of the school year from our schools religious program). I still like talking to her and being around her even knowing I can't be with her because I genuinely like who she is. Plus, we're both the same religion which actually matters to me (for dating, not just screwing around with. I fucked girls who are other religions and i don't care because I know I'm not gonna like marry them or anything, ya know???). Sucks I found a girl that hits all the nails on the head - pretty, good/similar personality, same religion, fun to be around and talk to, etc, and I can't go after her :([/QUOTE] Even soccer has a goal but that doesn't mean you can't score. For real though, if you feel like she's a good friend and you can talk to her, just talk. Maybe in the future she'll grow feelings for you too, I wouldn't rely on it but it might happen. Anyway, if she feels like she's a good friend to talk to, I'd just talk to her if possible.

Started talking to the girl I had coffee with on facebook to chat a bit and get a feel for the situation, we talked a bit and then she stopped replying so I don't think she's interested soo moving on I guess.

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;52089045]Started talking to the girl I had coffee with on facebook to chat a bit and get a feel for the situation, we talked a bit and then she stopped replying so I don't think she's interested soo moving on I guess.[/QUOTE] How long has she not replied for and what was the last thing you said.

Speaking of Facebook I'm seriously thinking about messaging again that one girl from Highschool I talked about it earlier here. I messaged her once while she was off and we mostly small talked about stuff. Mostly about books. left her a message when she was offline later asking if she had a discord or something else we could talk on and she responded saying she indeed had a discord acc. So I told her "Can you give it to me so I can add you up?" and no response after that point forward. Yep, not a good sign. I have been cool with it for a while but it really hit me hard. I'm honestly thinking about asking her about this again when she's online again once my semester is over. If she doesn't respond then I just give it up altogether. I don't want to seem desperate and just spam messages like I have nothing better to do. I think my biggest beef with the whole situation is that I don't have the guts to undo my friendship with her on FB if she ever decides to never respond. I just recently put her back in my life. I don't want to cut her off again.

Why would you move from Facebook to Discord? You can voice chat and shit on FB and that's more personal.

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;52089079]How long has she not replied for and what was the last thing you said.[/QUOTE] We were just talking about music and I was explaining my taste and views on music, a couple of days

My friend's girlfriend isn't talking to him about what's bothering her. I'm super concerned about it but my friend and I fought a lot about his previous girlfriend who I still contend was a shitter because she ignored him, cheated on him, and exploited him for rides, money, and food. I don't want to start more arguments and fuck up our friendship so close to graduation. Bit of context, the new girlfriend is reformed club-drug user who only smokes weed nowadays. She broke up with my friend because she didn't want to catch feelings before graduation, but after a week had passed, she got back together with him. However, during the one-week interim, she had sex with another guy. My friend knows this and refuses to get mad, yet I'm unaware if they've critically discussed how that might have hurt his feelings. Now she's being secretive and isolating my friend. Honestly, I'm not a huge fan of her. I want to talk to my friend about this but I don't want it to turn into a huge fight again. I want what's best for him, and I feel that he keeps getting into shitty relationships because he's not ready. He's a good guy, but I don't feel that he's mature enough to have a genuine romantic relationship that he wants. I want to express these feelings to him. How do?

Honestly, he's in charge of his own life and his own fuck ups. You can give him all the advice in the world but you can't control the decisions he makes. If he's gonna make mistakes then he should be allowed to do them on his own and under his own responsibility.

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;52089158]Why would you move from Facebook to Discord? You can voice chat and shit on FB and that's more personal.[/QUOTE] Personal taste I guess. I don't really care about the method as long as I can actually speak to her in more direct way that's not text. There's some things that I need to talk to her. And some of those things are actually very intimate concerning some mutual friends we have. But I still worry about making the impression that I'm a creep. She knows that I used to be into her in the past. I don't want her to think I have second intentions. I just really want to talk to her again but also don't want to seem pushy or desperate.

All my friends and family are suggesting that I sue the hospital as it's "outrageous how you get admitted with fractured shoulder for few days and end up with fractured back lying for a month and then they send you full bill to pay all because nurses who are supposed to watch everybody decided to go for a chat" I have mixed feelings about it tbh, from one side: Yeah, staff were supposed to be in room monitoring 6 people over night and I managed to stand up, walk away with needles, monitors and other fluid inputs connected, walk across whole room, yank balcony open and then climb over railing and jump without anybody noticing until last secoond. but from another side: They couldn't have known I would have such bizzare reactions to meds and surely person can't sit there for whole 12 hour shift watching everyone? I guess it happens? Any thoughts/tips?

[QUOTE=arleitiss;52089595]All my friends and family are suggesting that I sue the hospital as it's "outrageous how you get admitted with fractured shoulder for few days and end up with fractured back lying for a month and then they send you full bill to pay all because nurses who are supposed to watch everybody decided to go for a chat" I have mixed feelings about it tbh, from one side: Yeah, staff were supposed to be in room monitoring 6 people over night and I managed to stand up, walk away with needles, monitors and other fluid inputs connected, walk across whole room, yank balcony open and then climb over railing and jump without anybody noticing until last secoond. but from another side: They couldn't have known I would have such bizzare reactions to meds and surely person can't sit there for whole 12 hour shift watching everyone? I guess it happens? Any thoughts/tips?[/QUOTE] While they might've not been able to know how you'd react to meds, they still should've had someone monitoring you and the other patients. They've also probably had these situations before so there's no reason not to keep an eye out. It's always better safe than sorry especially if there's a risk of a patient risking their life due to hallucinatory side effects. They've got no excuse if the nurses really just "decided to go out for a chat".

[QUOTE=Rozelsky;52088201]Even soccer has a goal but that doesn't mean you can't score. For real though, if you feel like she's a good friend and you can talk to her, just talk. Maybe in the future she'll grow feelings for you too, I wouldn't rely on it but it might happen. Anyway, if she feels like she's a good friend to talk to, I'd just talk to her if possible.[/QUOTE] Going into friendships with this mentality is a recipe for failure.

If you aren't completely content with being just friends, then the friendship will not last.

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;52089264]We were just talking about music and I was explaining my taste and views on music, a couple of days[/QUOTE] Give it a week and message her again. If it drops off again leave it

I'm feeling a paranoid depressing struggle right now. My wife wants me to believe in the literal story of the bible, telling me that the big bang and evolution is bullshit and that I'm a dumb ass for believing in it. Previously, science could coexist in my mind with God because it didn't change that I had faith in a higher power over everything. I felt good spiritually, but my wife wants me to accept everything in the Bible word for word, so I'm filled with doubt. I don't know what view to adopt. I just want to be at peace with my reasonable intellect and spiritual well-being.

[QUOTE=Zombinie;52089730]If you aren't completely content with being just friends, then the friendship will not last.[/QUOTE] This really sucks to think about. A year ago, I was great friends with this girl and all of our friends would hang out all the time. Then this whole situation unfolded where she confessed her feelings to me, broke up with her long distance BF, we starting seeing each other. Then I think I either tried to go too fast, or got weird, or something, and she closed up and eventually as of Friday is now back in her LDR with her ex. Now I feel absolutely terrible because a) I missed out on a chance to have something awesome and b) now I'm not sure if I can still be friends. I really, really want to but I keep thinking back to the time we spent together and the things she said and it just makes me feel worse. We're planning on getting coffee tomorrow and talking about the whole thing, and I'm trying my best to plan out what I say so it doesn't sound like all I want is to just be back with her. Boy does this suck.

[QUOTE=chocolatedrop;52089808]I'm feeling a paranoid depressing struggle right now. My wife wants me to believe in the literal story of the bible, telling me that the big bang and evolution is bullshit and that I'm a dumb ass for believing in it. Previously, science could coexist in my mind with God because it didn't change that I had faith in a higher power over everything. I felt good spiritually, but my wife wants me to accept everything in the Bible word for word, so I'm filled with doubt. I don't know what view to adopt. I just want to be at peace with my reasonable intellect and spiritual well-being.[/QUOTE] I won't say anything about the bible vs science, but it's kinda fucked up your wife is forcing that decision on you. You're an independent thinker and should be allowed to make your own choice. She shouldn't be forcing you or pressuring you into something like that.

[QUOTE=chocolatedrop;52089808]I'm feeling a paranoid depressing struggle right now. My wife wants me to believe in the literal story of the bible, telling me that the big bang and evolution is bullshit and that I'm a dumb ass for believing in it. Previously, science could coexist in my mind with God because it didn't change that I had faith in a higher power over everything. I felt good spiritually, but my wife wants me to accept everything in the Bible word for word, so I'm filled with doubt. I don't know what view to adopt. I just want to be at peace with my reasonable intellect and spiritual well-being.[/QUOTE] The problem is not what she believes, it is that she refuses to listen or coexist with other people's viewpoints. If this doesn't change, its just going to get worse

[QUOTE=Rozelsky;52088201]Even soccer has a goal but that doesn't mean you can't score. For real though, if you feel like she's a good friend and you can talk to her, just talk. Maybe in the future she'll grow feelings for you too, I wouldn't rely on it but it might happen. Anyway, if she feels like she's a good friend to talk to, I'd just talk to her if possible.[/QUOTE] I mean I'm not going to actively pursue a relationship with her or talk to her about it because I have to remember she [I]does[/I] have a boyfriend and I'm not gonna be that guy to ruin a relationship. I'm sure she's happy with her bf, and I should want her to be happy, right?? Unless they break up I won't even try because I still respect their relationship even tho I wish it were with me instead.

[QUOTE=Blazyd;52090137]I mean I'm not going to actively pursue a relationship with her or talk to her about it because I have to remember she [I]does[/I] have a boyfriend and I'm not gonna be that guy to ruin a relationship. I'm sure she's happy with her bf, and I should want her to be happy, right?? Unless they break up I won't even try because I still respect their relationship even tho I wish it were with me instead.[/QUOTE] I'm in the exact same situation as you. I started to get to know this friend of mine who is dating a buddy of mine (he was out of country at the time) We first met through the swing dance club and we are both in the same group of friends. We have a lot of commonalities. (Catholic, Slovak-American, politically liberal, sarcastic, diagnosed with ADHD, INTP personalities, extremely nerdy, shy and introverted, brutally honest, dark hair, well read, enjoy jazz music, constantly raise our eyebrows to express confusion or amusement at the expense of others, make a lot of references that we both understand, tend to be somewhat negative, self critical, but selfless and kindhearted. It wasn't until I invited her to attend a dance on campus and studied with her during finals week that I realized we had a lot more in common, but I wholeheartedly believed our relationship was completely platonic. Then I went home for Christmas break and I eventually realized I had developed quite a crush on her personality. I recently started to go out more and I saw them both at two dances this past weekend, which made me feel melancholy again. I've started talking to some other girls I've seen on campus, and though I feel attracted to them, I don't think I'll find someone who I click with as well as her in the near future. I'm doing the right things, and putting myself out there, but I just haven't had much luck so far. Like you said, I'm not going to be that guy who sabotages a healthy relationship because I'm jealous. I respect their space and I want her to be happy, whether she spends her life with my friend, or somebody else. It's a painful choice and I wish I didn't love her so.

[QUOTE=papkee;52090036]This really sucks to think about. A year ago, I was great friends with this girl and all of our friends would hang out all the time. Then this whole situation unfolded where she confessed her feelings to me, broke up with her long distance BF, we starting seeing each other. Then I think I either tried to go too fast, or got weird, or something, and she closed up and eventually as of Friday is now back in her LDR with her ex. Now I feel absolutely terrible because a) I missed out on a chance to have something awesome and b) now I'm not sure if I can still be friends. I really, really want to but I keep thinking back to the time we spent together and the things she said and it just makes me feel worse. We're planning on getting coffee tomorrow and talking about the whole thing, and I'm trying my best to plan out what I say so it doesn't sound like all I want is to just be back with her. Boy does this suck.[/QUOTE] The more you try to convince her, the less likely it is going to be effective. Her ex game is too stronk.

[QUOTE=fritzel;52090735]The more you try to convince her, the less likely it is going to be effective. Her ex game is too stronk.[/QUOTE] Well that's why I don't want to do that then. I'm just trying to wrap my head around exactly what all happened, which is one of the main reasons I want to chat. Things just went so weird so quickly. Good friend with boyfriend, to person with feelings for me, to potential girlfriend, to distant friend, to distant friend with boyfriend again in the span of like two months.

[QUOTE=Blazyd;52090137]I mean I'm not going to actively pursue a relationship with her or talk to her about it because I have to remember she [I]does[/I] have a boyfriend and I'm not gonna be that guy to ruin a relationship. I'm sure she's happy with her bf, and I should want her to be happy, right?? Unless they break up I won't even try because I still respect their relationship even tho I wish it were with me instead.[/QUOTE] It's good you're not trying to screw their relationships up. What I was trying to say is, if you want to be friends, then be friends. If you're really into her, then don't do it. Don't bring yourself down for her.

I realized in the situation I'm in, the girl I like can't and won't reciprocate feelings for me. It feels sort-of heartbreaking because I really did like this girl even after just one hookup, but it's because I know our personalities really line up and that one hookup made me realize how much I did like her.

Found out my ex had been thinking about what it would be like to be with a guy from work (the one she cheated on me with) for 2 weeks before she even broke up with me... whelp