Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[QUOTE=huntingrifle;52094876]I realized in the situation I'm in, the girl I like can't and won't reciprocate feelings for me. It feels sort-of heartbreaking because I really did like this girl even after just one hookup, but it's because I know our personalities really line up and that one hookup made me realize how much I did like her.[/QUOTE] Don't put effort in such a one sided relationship. It doesn't last for long.

[QUOTE=fritzel;52094973]Don't put effort in such a one sided relationship. It doesn't last for long.[/QUOTE] That's the thing; it wasn't one-sided until drama happened and we had a "falling out". I'm not an optimist, but I tried hoping something would work out in the end.

[QUOTE=huntingrifle;52095004]That's the thing; it wasn't one-sided until drama happened and we had a "falling out". I'm not an optimist, but I tried hoping something would work out in the end.[/QUOTE] I have been there. I see how you tried to fix everything. That's a good thing that you actually cared enough to make it better. Makes you a better person. Don't put yourself through this now when the other person is not responsive. Relax for a while.

So I'm in a bit of a rut. I really love this girl. Like, for real. We'd been dating for over 10 months until last night, when she told me that I was an anxious wreck and was making everything a big deal. Thing is, I was doing all of that as a response to me thinking that she was ending the relationship. So I became my own self fulfilling prophecy. Thing is, I still am going to two separate proms with her within the next month. And I still really love her. Like a lot. And I think she still loves me. We broke up at a party last night, but after we had, we ended up connecting a bit more. I want to show her that I can be a not anxious wreck (I am going to be seeing my therapist for it now) and that I can still be the me I was when we fell in love. She agreed at the party to go on a picnic with me. I figured I'd take her, we'd have a fun time, and then I'd read her out a long block of text I've written telling her everything. Not me crawling back begging to her, but asking her to keep an open mind in these next few weeks, because I'll be fucked if I'm going to let this relationship die because of some stupid behavior of mine. What do?

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;52094937]Found out my ex had been thinking about what it would be like to be with a guy from work (the one she cheated on me with) for 2 weeks before she even broke up with me... whelp[/QUOTE] Forget that ho and what she's thinking or did. You can, and will find better out there, someone who's loyal.

[QUOTE=mcgrath618;52095187]So I'm in a bit of a rut. I really love this girl. Like, for real. We'd been dating for over 10 months until last night, when she told me that I was an anxious wreck and was making everything a big deal. Thing is, I was doing all of that as a response to me thinking that she was ending the relationship. So I became my own self fulfilling prophecy. Thing is, I still am going to two separate proms with her within the next month. And I still really love her. Like a lot. And I think she still loves me. We broke up at a party last night, but after we had, we ended up connecting a bit more. I want to show her that I can be a not anxious wreck (I am going to be seeing my therapist for it now) and that I can still be the me I was when we fell in love. She agreed at the party to go on a picnic with me. I figured I'd take her, we'd have a fun time, and then I'd read her out a long block of text I've written telling her everything. Not me crawling back begging to her, but asking her to keep an open mind in these next few weeks, because I'll be fucked if I'm going to let this relationship die because of some stupid behavior of mine. What do?[/QUOTE] Sounds good, but be sure about reading her that block of text - either it will clear up everything and be sweet, or it will make you look like... like an anxious wreck. Sometimes less is more, and perhaps you could show improvement instead of reading her a book that promises improvement.

[QUOTE=mcgrath618;52095187]So I'm in a bit of a rut. I really love this girl. Like, for real. We'd been dating for over 10 months until last night, when she told me that [B]I was an anxious wreck and was making everything a big deal.[/B] Thing is, I was doing all of that as a response to me thinking that she was ending the relationship. So I became my own self fulfilling prophecy. Thing is, I still am going to two separate proms with her within the next month. And I still really love her. Like a lot. And I think she still loves me. We broke up at a party last night, but after we had, we ended up connecting a bit more. I want to show her that I can be a not anxious wreck (I am going to be seeing my therapist for it now) and that I can still be the me I was when we fell in love. She agreed at the party to go on a picnic with me. I figured I'd take her, we'd have a fun time, and then [B]I'd read her out a long block of text I've written telling her everything.[/B] Not me crawling back begging to her, but asking her to keep an open mind in these next few weeks, because I'll be fucked if I'm going to let this relationship die because of some stupid behavior of mine. What do?[/QUOTE] In all honesty, having a "long block of text" prepared for the occasion sounds like making a big deal out of it. I don't doubt that it IS a big deal for you, but given what she's said about the situation, you might be better off just talking more candidly about what you're going through and making it a discussion than approaching it with so much gravity.

living has with my ex for 6 mos has changed me as a person in ways I never thought possible

[QUOTE=Hilton;52087082]I miss my ex so bad. We were together only 8 months and I brokeup with her a bit over 2 months ago even as she begged me to give it another chance. Now she's over it and starting to move on and I'm realizing how much I love her, how much she means to me and how I shouldn't have thrown it away over small mistakes. But now it's irrepairable and I can't get her back. Starting to feel very depressed over this.[/QUOTE] In my experience (as a dumpee) in this situation, it is very difficult (well usually), from this perspective. Mainly because it's not only down to the situations/problems that broke you up in the first place, but also down to how that break up was gone about. If that break up was gone about in the absolute wrong way, such as text as an example, then you've basically cremated that bridge unfortunately. This makes it hard for the dumpee because whilst it is likely they may still have feels, there is an important element of not running before you can walk, where they need to think about self respect too, and are cautious of you out of fear of getting hurt again. If that makes sense. Also, you can't know for sure that she's over it, she might just be trying to get on with her life, or putting on an act, equally you could be right, and so what, good for her - she deserves to be happy and so do you. I'm really sorry that you feel that way, and it is a sucky situation, I am sure, but everyone makes mistakes, and if there's truly no way of repairing it, then it's best to focus on finding yourself, and finding something that doesn't rely on a relationship/someone else to make you happy, before considering finding someone new. I am not at all saying any of this is definitely "right" or whatever, I mean, I'm still trying to get over my ex too (we split a year or so ago), but this is just from my personal experience and what I think. I am not a professional, but you've also gotta consider it's relatively fresh break up and you will start to feel lonely, so it may just be general loneliness feelings. Either way, it's important to focus on self - improvement, and take a breather, and just establish who you are and what you want, taking up new opportunities. The right person will come eventually. If she was the right person, maybe further down the line you'll both find an appropriate way of sorting things but for now focus on yourself. Sorry for lengthy post.

moments like today make me wish facebook just had a tinder feature on it.

[QUOTE=GisG56;52095768]In my experience (as a dumpee) in this situation, it is very difficult (well usually), from this perspective. Mainly because it's not only down to the situations/problems that broke you up in the first place, but also down to how that break up was gone about. If that break up was gone about in the absolute wrong way, such as text as an example, then you've basically cremated that bridge unfortunately. This makes it hard for the dumpee because whilst it is likely they may still have feels, there is an important element of not running before you can walk, where they need to think about self respect too, and are cautious of you out of fear of getting hurt again. If that makes sense. Also, you can't know for sure that she's over it, she might just be trying to get on with her life, or putting on an act, equally you could be right, and so what, good for her - she deserves to be happy and so do you. I'm really sorry that you feel that way, and it is a sucky situation, I am sure, but everyone makes mistakes, and if there's truly no way of repairing it, then it's best to focus on finding yourself, and finding something that doesn't rely on a relationship/someone else to make you happy, before considering finding someone new. I am not at all saying any of this is definitely "right" or whatever, I mean, I'm still trying to get over my ex too (we split a year or so ago), but this is just from my personal experience and what I think. I am not a professional, but you've also gotta consider it's relatively fresh break up and you will start to feel lonely, so it may just be general loneliness feelings. Either way, it's important to focus on self - improvement, and take a breather, and just establish who you are and what you want, taking up new opportunities. The right person will come eventually. If she was the right person, maybe further down the line you'll both find an appropriate way of sorting things but for now focus on yourself. Sorry for lengthy post.[/QUOTE] Yeah you're very right about all of that. I guess all I can do is focus on me and if she really was as special as I think she was then I'll find her some time down the road, but I guess I can't count on it...

[QUOTE=The Rifleman;52095193]Forget that ho and what she's thinking or did. You can, and will find better out there, someone who's loyal.[/QUOTE] Thing is the shock is how much she's changed over the years. I was 20 she was 17 Now 22 and 19 The girl I fell in love with could have never even done something like that if she tried. People change man, shit is confusing. She's picked up all her stuff today which was a HELL of a lot and I gave her a hug and said "I hope you have a good life." Going to meet a mate now to chill out

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;52098219]Thing is the shock is how much she's changed over the years. I was 20 she was 17 Now 22 and 19 The girl I fell in love with could have never even done something like that if she tried. People change man, shit is confusing. She's picked up all her stuff today which was a HELL of a lot and I gave her a hug and said "I hope you have a good life." Going to meet a mate now to chill out[/QUOTE] Were here for you man if you need anyone. Sorry :/

Just had another flashback to funny moments when I was delirious in hospital. (And one horror story, a bit long but oh well, if somebody is up for a read) [Short version in the end] Funny Moments: 1) After falling from the balcony (Keep in mind that it was my decision to jump but it was in dream because in my dream I was in some organ harvesting illegal hospital place) so only way out was jumping across roofs from balcony) I woke up in same hospital but irl (not dreaming) and my parents told me name of hospital that had same name in dream. I told them: Are you fucking stupid? We need to get out of here, once you're here there is no way out... i) I was hallucinating big time, one of hallucinations was that I am citizen of US ii) Another hallucination was that I had built myself in a computer into retina and I could open UI when I think about right click (weird shit). Anyway - I opened my eye computer, used Tor to connect to encrypt traffic and emailed to US embassy saying I am kept hostage (because I assumed this organ harvesting hospital was monitoring traffic outgoing, and they fucking did!). After a bit - IT of hospital spoke to me and asked what did I send, I didn't tell them so I was waiting for rescue (which never came). 2nd Hallucination was more serious: Just few hours before jumping from balcony, I was on my laptop trying to login (but being fully delirious - I tried about 50 passwords and none of them was right even though when I came to my senses - I remembered it instantly), anyway - when real spazzing out kicked in (When my senses switched from Irl to Dream) at that moment I felt that this place is some dodgy organ harvest plant - I put down my laptop, stood up and tore all systems out from veins, blood was poruing all down on floor and I walked out the main door but was stopped by what appears to be security and was put down into bed. I took my phone, wanted to call police and tell them I am being kept hostage in this organ harvester plant but phone was dead battery (thank fuck, imagine you - being dispatcher and receiving a call from dude that's high on fuck knows what and tells his liver is being harvested as we speak) Horror Part: I realized I am trapped there in hospital but I was right next to balcony (3rd floor), so I decided I rather jump and break few bones but have chance to escape than stay and die. So I broke down window from balcony and jumped out, landed on my back and it was painful but I crawled forward few meters before (I guess passing out, it was all dream version anyway but nurses say that's exactly how it happened) but after being scraped off asphalt - I was spazzing out and still dreaming: I was picked up by these organ harvesters, I realized I am about to die, they brought my down to drain and let me bleed out (I guess to have less mess when getting rid of body), they were causing a lot of pain to my now shattered back by moving me around, I kept telling them: Just let me fucking die already, you got what you wanted. They kept saying no and when I was blacking out - they kept waking me up. It felt like all life is leaving my body, literally tunnel thing you hear about, but they kept waking me up and doing more painful shit. After what seemed like I died - I got my concious transfered into body of another victim of this organ harvesting place, and I had to live through same shit again and again, they kept draining blood, moving me around with fractured back, and awaking me and not letting me die. This kept repeating again and again and I realized I am probably (on some weird ass VR at my PC, so when I died again and was transfering to new body - There was like an intermission where I was in front of PC), when I was in one of these intermissions - I smashed up my PC to absolute pieces, ripped out internet cables and routers from my house and smashed every electronic but I kept getting dragged into new victins body every time. When I got put into new victims body - I instantly awoke and was being drained blood or some shit so I started not awaking and pretending I didn't get put into new body so they dont wake me up but fuckers knew I was inside and felt everything so started moving me around again. Towards end - I was put into one of these assholes new born babies and could control him and told them if they dont stop this - I will smack my (their kids) head against floor so they agreed. Next moment I awoke being barely able to move due to back pains but some people were around me and cameras too, I was on youtube or some shit involved in some reality/tv shit show and I was one of the participants or some shit, they then released me in a new body and gave me 14 million. They were cutting my hair and it was painful as fuck. Anyway - in reality when doctors scraped me off asphalt, I was turned and moved around a lot for xrays to see internal damage (like broken bones, internal bleeding, skull fractures and brain damages and shit) that's why I felt like some assholes kept moving me to cause more pain on purpose. Bleeding out - I had few packets of blood pumped into me. Calling my name, waking me up constantly to feel pain - It was doctors trying to keep me half-awake. Painful hair cut - It was stiches put into my head. Cause of these glitches: Low sodium level + strong painkillers given in hospital to which I had side effects. Life advice: If you ever have low sodium symptoms - go to fucking hospital immediately. I didn't and tried curing it by drinking lots of water (usual treatment) but as it turns out - it's opposite to what you need to do, limit your fluid intake (I was kept on 1 litre per day and then thirsted to death but not given any liquids once I reached my limit). Low sodium levels will fuck you up. Also: Don't walk home on side of the road when drunk. short story: Funnies: 1) I emailed US embassy telling I am hostage in irish hospital) (emailed from my eye computer) 2) I tried calling cops saying I am hostage in legit hospital where I am being held. Horrors: 1) I was stuck in endless loop of soul transfer after death into new victims every time and felt it eveyr time. Advice: If you ever hear something is fucked up with your sodium levels - Go to doctor, don't fucking ignore it and hope it passes. My low sodium shit kicked in when I was sitting at home after first accident - holding cup of tea and out of sudden my muscles went weak and cup fell from my hand and I couldn't move.

[QUOTE=Hilton;52096932]Yeah you're very right about all of that. I guess all I can do is focus on me and if she really was as special as I think she was then I'll find her some time down the road, but I guess I can't count on it...[/QUOTE] I understand it's a lot to take in, and a lot easier said than done. I think in some way, most dumpers will feel a bit of guilt at some point, and there's always "what ifs" and this is especially in situations where they made the decision too rashly, or in a heated argument (which is never the best time to make such a large 'future of the relationship' decision). But you made a decision at the end of the day, and that decision is likely to have damaged the other person usually profoundly more (unless it was mutual), and especially if it's done in a bad way. It's a difficult one for sure... Yeah definitely. But I wouldn't expect her to come running, or to contact you first - because as much as I am sure she wants to, she also has a support system helping her get on with life normally, and she also needs to have self-respect as I mentioned before. I'd say give it time, and time will tell. If your feelings change, then great, and you can move on. If they don't, then maybe try attempt fixing things. You're on the right side of it to initiate fixing things. A lot of the time the dumpee doesn't really have a say in that, when they should really. Or at least I didn't/don't. Relationships ending are ridiculously and annoyingly complex a lot of the time, especially if they're long term, and there is no definite answer to getting over them, and what you shared. Definitely focus on yourself though, and making new friends, try meet some new people and try a new hobby, exercise, make sure you're getting out and about and don't become too isolated (I don't mean just going to clubs and drinking every single week/most of the week, because a lot of the time, that can make you feel worse - alcohol is a depressant after all, and you may do something you regret. But just get out, explore somewhere local or in the world, I think it's good for you, no matter how you're feeling). I'm sure you've heard all this billions of times, but it honestly cannot be more true. It may/ may not get rid of the feelings, but it keeps you busy, which leaves less time to over think and make stupid decisions. :smile: As I said before, this is just down to personal experience. I'm not a professional, or a whizz kid, or whatever. But I hope that I have helped, or at least comforted you in some way that will help you see things from both sides, and hopefully start moving forward, rather than backward. :smile:

[QUOTE=Pascall;52081708]I met my two best friends here on FP and we've been friends for about seven years now. All you gotta really do is ask them what's up! Don't push yourself to be their "friend", just have a chat. But don't be obnoxious or anything. Generally I go by the rule of, if they don't seem to be busy but aren't giving me much conversational feedback, they're not really interested in chatting. So I move on to talk to someone else. Of course I don't really talk to anyone on this godforsaken website anymore now that I found my two close friends lmao but I'm not closed off to conversation. As long as the person I'm talking to isn't under 16 tho that's kinda weird when you're almost ten years older than them.[/QUOTE] as sound advice as that is I'm still finding myself stressing out over little details do you think it would come across better if I'm reaching out to them on FP itself, or adding them on Steam/Discord? I'm better chatting with someone live instead of via PM/visitor messages but I don't want to come across as weird or something adding them out of the blue :s:

I'd say adding on Discord or Steam is probably more preferable. PMing through FP seems weird to me lol.

[QUOTE=Pascall;52102010]I'd say adding on Discord or Steam is probably more preferable. PMing through FP seems weird to me lol.[/QUOTE] I figured as such, but the couple times I've actually gotten to know people here in the past it started off through chat on FP. don't remember how any of that actually went, though. thanks for all the input, cheers. think I can figure out stuff from here

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;52094937]Found out my ex had been thinking about what it would be like to be with a guy from work (the one she cheated on me with) for 2 weeks before she even broke up with me... whelp[/QUOTE] Similar bout years ago. Had a girlfriend for almost a year. When college came and I got a job we found less time for each other. When that happened she went to her best friend and started dating without my knowledge. When I broke up with her due to how busy we were, the very next week I found out she got engaged. I admit I cried like a total bitch in the men's room. I didn't want to see her face again. I still did because we lived in the same area but she moved last year so now its a bit better not having to see her every three days a week. Good news is that there was a new girl I met last year that I got a crush on. We're chatting for now but I feel like now isn't the time to admit my feelings. [QUOTE=Pascall;52102010]I'd say adding on Discord or Steam is probably more preferable. PMing through FP seems weird to me lol.[/QUOTE] Worse case is when she knows you go here and found this thread. THEN you're in deep shit.

[QUOTE=maddogsamurai;52103922]Worse case is when she knows you go here and found this thread. THEN you're in deep shit.[/QUOTE] That brings up an interesting point. Has someone ever found out they were being talked about in this thread?

[QUOTE=elevate;52104273]That brings up an interesting point. Has someone ever found out they were being talked about in this thread?[/QUOTE] I thought an ex of mine read what I'd said about her on here, but I think that was just me being paranoid. mind you, the only other people I'd spoken to about what had happened at the time were my friends that don't speak to her, I've no idea how she found out basically, but she got mad at me anyway lel. it's an odd thing, having someone get mad at you for being concerned about them

[QUOTE=dcalde78;52104716]I thought an ex of mine read what I'd said about her on here, but I think that was just me being paranoid. mind you, the only other people I'd spoken to about what had happened at the time were my friends that don't speak to her, I've no idea how she found out basically, but she got mad at me anyway lel. it's an odd thing, having someone get mad at you for being concerned about them[/QUOTE] I, too, have had my ex read stuff that I wrote about them on here. I was dumb and didn't think they read the same threads or even remembered my username. I was embarrassed, but now I guess I don't care.

well as far as I know she didn't know my username or even the name of the site, she just saw me browsing late at night just before she went to sleep. I've genuinely no idea how she found out, but I don't really care. someone who gets angry about you caring about them isn't really the best person to know. and apparently I hold some kind of power over her, my workmate was out last friday, saw her out and mentioned I might be out that night, her face sank like a stone, he teased her saying I might be out on the saturday, and when whe went out to the same bar on saturday, she went in really nervously, scanning the place for me before she went in. I find this very odd given the circumstances in which she left me.

Most of the people I'm related to don't even know that this site exists. That's why is such a great place to vent for me.

[QUOTE=SoftHearted;52105794]Most of the people I'm related to don't even know that this site exists. That's why is such a great place to vent for me.[/QUOTE] I just tell my friends "I make a bunch of SFM models for would-be animators"(not word for word) and that's it.

I invited one of my friends. Worst. Mistake. Ever. :v: I miss it being a place I could post without it interacting with real life.

I can't tell you the number of times I've read a long post in this thread and thought "Holy shit this sounds EXACTLY like someone I know, is this person secretly a FP member?" Then I look at their flagdog and they're in a totally different country

Guys, I know this may be unrelated to relationships, but do any of you have experience with teaching maths to 13-14 years old kids? I joined a proyect that helps a couple of schools with math classes for kids that are interested, and I was asigned kids that age. The thing is I've never taught kids anything in my life, but I don't want to go in blind and if I could hear some of the advice you guys may have, I would be very grateful.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;52106852]Guys, I know this may be unrelated to relationships, but do any of you have experience with teaching maths to 13-14 years old kids? I joined a proyect that helps a couple of schools with math classes for kids that are interested, and I was asigned kids that age. The thing is I've never taught kids anything in my life, but I don't want to go in blind and if I could hear some of the advice you guys may have, I would be very grateful.[/QUOTE] I did it when i was in sixth form. Generally the most successful strategy i found with them was to use the fact that they wanted to act up and look cool to the older person to make them do maths. It was kinda hard to do but the first week one of the kids completed literally all of the work two thirds of the way through the lesson.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;52106852]Guys, I know this may be unrelated to relationships, but do any of you have experience with teaching maths to 13-14 years old kids? I joined a proyect that helps a couple of schools with math classes for kids that are interested, and I was asigned kids that age. The thing is I've never taught kids anything in my life, but I don't want to go in blind and if I could hear some of the advice you guys may have, I would be very grateful.[/QUOTE] Bio teacher over here, currently preparing state exams and making some money out of private lessons: The key is being flexible with the subject, and, if you have few students, try to know them. If you know the subject and you know the student, you can mold the subject to the student, and spur the student for the subject. 12-13 year olds are at what level, basic algebra or already up to second degree equations?