Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[QUOTE=snookypookums;52140029]I'm no doctor, so maybe Zonesylvania can explain this, but how the dickens could he walk without having to work through possible muscular atrophy if he's never been able to walk in his life? In my case, after the motorcycle accident, I couldn't (or rather, wasn't) allowed to walk for a few months because of screws and the like in my knee. The first time I stood up and tried to take a step forward, I fell flat on my face. :v: Was he still undergoing some sort of physiotherapy to get him to walk when this happened?[/QUOTE] I'm happy for him as well, but I'm drawing a blank here just as much as you are. It's possible for a determined enough individual to overcome what we would normally call a crippling deformity or damage. One such example was Glenn Cunningham, who was so badly burned in an accident the doctors thought he would never walk again, after intense therapy he began to walk as well as run, and won a silver medal in the Olympics, as well as set a world record for the mile run that stood 3 years before it was broken. But this example doesnt apply here, since he underwent years of physiotherapy too.

Was it an unassisted walk? Or like, leaning up against the pews? Good for him, regardless.

[QUOTE=OvB;52140287]Was it an unassisted walk? Or like, leaning up against the pews? Good for him, regardless.[/QUOTE] Yes in the video they showed us his uncle held him abit by the arm because they were afraid of him falling but he walked like he have never done before. For a more detailed information. He did not get enough oxygen on birth but it never affected his brain but only his muscles in his entire body, he speaks heavily and can't move properly. He struggles badly when he want to do something like a hold a cup. And now they told us he went and took a shower all by himself in the morning.

I'm not a doctor, but it kind of sounds like some kind of cerebral palsy. If that's the case, it's pretty great that he's suddenly mobile. I've never heard of that happening before.

I fucking hate everything related to health and hospitals now, I've never been to hospital in my life over 23 years, my health is perfect (in terms of immune system) but recently after my visit, I came out experiencing all of this shit at same time: All the fucking wires (literally a lump of 4/5 cables) attached to electrodes or some shit and if one of them disconnects as I moved - the fucking alarm of some sort went off. Fucking 3 A-Lines inserted at same time (for fuck knows what reason, which I then tore out as my high moments started) Chest tube (which now thinking even about it makes me feel anxious and stressed/cringey, a fucking tube sticking out from inside of you, that's fucking scary) Blood packs being connected to veins (it's crazy for me to imagine that was someone's blood, someone who donated it) Oxygen thing that site at your nose (I hated this shit, first time it was put on - my lugns felt like they are tearing apart as I was breathing in, so I took it off until nurses saw it and said that they will staple it to me if they have to (in a joke way)) Also had CSF leak, basically if I was standing or sitting and looked down at my feet - I had infinite amounts of transparent liquid coming from my nose, which I learned just recently - was fluid that's located around brain and apparently I had a hole/crack between the place where brain is held and upper nose so something like that caused it which is crazy for me to imagine. Oh and I have new phobia - if I ever see someone walking towards me with a long ass needle and telling me to lie down on my side - I will run, just run without looking back, that was most painful shit I've ever experienced, some liquid taken from my back :v: My favorite part was intensive care unit, it was neat and most comfortable, it had it's own AC which I could control, a plasma TV with cable, it felt like heaven after being moved there from general place where it felt like train in India. I am getting health insurance from now on, you always tell yourself: "Ah nothing will happen to me" until shit hits the fan :v: Also was assigned blood tests twice a day, nothing worse than some fucker who misses vein and has to stab you again

[QUOTE=Jackpody;52135507]Hey people. I've been lurking in this thread for years reading all the interesting content all of you post, but I have personally not had the need to post here myself until now. I should start by introducing myself - hi, I'm Chris and I'm 20 years old. I'm a totally normal person who studies at the University of Copenhagen and goes to party on Fridays. I have a two jobs and I have some cool hobbies like art, acting and working on cars. With that out of the way, I really want to get into a relationship again after my most recent broke up back in November 2014. I have no issues speaking with people at parties and I always tend to find someone cool to hang out with. Normally, we tend to hit off at the party and we go for a dance or a drink and everything feels totes cool at the party. However, I always end up not asking if I can have their number or their Facebook profile because I shy out as we leave. It just ends with a "Man, it was great to meet you and stay safe" or something along those lines and I just feel like it ruins everything as I'm expected to make the first move. I'll give a little anecdote from the party I went to just a few hours ago. A gal from my team at Uni had brought one of her collegues to the party. She was great, we talked and she seemed really nice and we shared a lot of interests. We hung out for ours and she's great. However, once again, I totally pussy out at the end because I just don't have the balls to ask for her number or profile. I get this nervous voice saying "What if she won't give you it?" or "Isn't it weird because she's a collegue of one of my good friends?" or "What if she'll laugh at me with her collegue?". I don't think anything would happen, it's just that little voice. When I introduced myself, she even started with "Oh hi Chris! So you're the Chris I've been told about". I was wondering if I should ask my friend from the Uni team what her collegue thought about yesterday, but that seems a tad weird as well. They're both great friends just like I am a great friend of her on the team. Here lies the question - what would you people do in this situation? I've tried sending a friend request if I've met someone I hit off with but first the day after and it always ends up awkwardly, as if they don't have any interest in having a conversation on Face. It also seems a little creepy to add them a a day or two later without having asked prior (but maybe that's just me?).[/QUOTE] honestly it sounds like you're in a position to express interest. if she doesn't want to give you her number then tough, if she wants to giggle about you with her friends then whatever, that's not too mature on her part imo. but I think it's a perfectly fine, adult thing for you to be a little more upfront with these girls. and to me, getting a number/etc while you're still with them in person sounds better than finding them on FB the day after or something.

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[QUOTE=Bucketboy;52140314]Yes in the video they showed us his uncle held him abit by the arm because they were afraid of him falling but he walked like he have never done before. For a more detailed information. He did not get enough oxygen on birth but it never affected his brain but only his muscles in his entire body, he speaks heavily and can't move properly. He struggles badly when he want to do something like a hold a cup. And now they told us he went and took a shower all by himself in the morning.[/QUOTE] That sounds amazing. Even something as simple as showering properly requires a lot of mobility and coordination/strength in the right musculature. I think he has been misdiagnosed because walking and showering by himself in that time span seems to good to be true. Anyways, good on him!

[QUOTE=Blazyd;52117430]So we're doing these persuasive speeches in this class and this girl is gonna give hers on why you should take up rock climbing and I was thinking the day she presents to after class just be like "yo, you convinced me, let's go rock climbing??" or something with only a few weeks of school left I have literally nothing to lose[/QUOTE] I got her number!!!

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;52144456]So, story time. I go to Wendys usually twice a week, as it is adjacent to my campus. I always go with a friend, or my girlfriend. Sometimes I go with Becky after we workout at the gym, sometimes I meet my very pregnant friend Kelsy so we can catchup and just talk trash about things, sometimes I meet my girlfriend there because I enjoy seeing her. The other day, of the manager's waved me over and whispered "I don't meet to be rude, but I'm just wondering.. how many girlfriends do you have? You come in with a different girl everyday!" I didn't even think how funny my Wendy's habits looked :v:[/QUOTE] playa playaaaaa

So, after 2 nights bunking over at a friend's 20 m2 room in Paris and having her as a free tour guide, I had to get up at 6:15 AM to make it in time to the airport. Tried to be somewhat quiet and took a quick shower, but to no avail: Upon exiting the bathroom, I saw coffee being made and my friend going all "don't worry I'll just go back to bed later". I often have a persistent feeling of being an unwanted presence, or at least a prescindible one, due to some bad experiences at a quite crucial time. Between this kind of small details, and the meaningful talks that peppered the visit, I feel that feeling going away, and my worth surging. People beyond my immediate family care for me, and I have less trouble seeing it. Also, people with the constitution of a wiry stick figure are not supposed to snore, I believed.

I tried to explain a star wars meme I saw to a moderately attractive male today, but all I could really get out was "Ewan McGregor is great" after rambling for a while. This is why I shouldn't talk to anybody else ever.

I need to fix myself so I can become worthy of love and there are too many things wrong with me, I don't need to list them because they are all the obvious internet autist traits. I'm stuck and can't seem to mature, every time I try to move forward I get pulled back or give up. [editline]24th April 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=gustavholst;52145399]I tried to explain a star wars meme I saw to a moderately attractive male today, but all I could really get out was "Ewan McGregor is great" after rambling for a while. This is why I shouldn't talk to anybody else ever.[/QUOTE] This is where the fun ends.

I feel ashamed, because i feel bitter that the classmate i asked out postponed our coffee date for next week, even though her reasons are completely valid and i, similarly, have a pretty busy schedule this week. I guess it's a combination of: having an expectation (of just going out with someone) go unfulfilled, and: what feels like an unhealthy amount of paranoia on my part, a fear that she's really uninterested and that i'm possibly fundamentally unappealing. I should do some check the facts and mindfulness. It just feels easier to be mildly miserable and ignore when things are more complex and less clear cut than they feel.

Oh lol, turns out she has a boyfriend. The hesitation was because she wasn't quite sure if i was asking her out or just to get coffee as friends. So i wasn't wrong in reading signs of interest, it was just on a friendly level and not a dating one. Honestly that's a relief, because i was afraid there was going to be this weird cloudy unknowable distance that i wouldn't be able to understand or help. That's what worries me most, the idea that i'll make someone uncomfortable, they'll judge me, i won't know why, and i won't be able to improve. Realizing that she is genuinely friendly to me and unwilling to date because of a commitment is a weight off. My worries can really get a hold of me. The other thing is, it's quite possible that one day i will make someone uncomfortable like that and they'll respond negatively, and it's not the end of the world if i do, and i can still work on improving myself without self-punishment and excess shame, with the right emotional regulation skills.

Went to get a hair cut earlier today. Hadn't been to the place before. Got this really cute hairdresser who was pretty much completely quiet while cutting my hair (most hairdressers seem to talk endlessly, in my experience). Didn't think much of it, but about halfway through she blurted out "So... what are you doing this weekend?". We started talking and now I've got a date coming up. First time [i]I'm[/i] the one getting picked up when there's no alcohol involved.

[QUOTE=siviz4;52149752]Went to get a hair cut earlier today. Hadn't been to the place before. Got this really cute hairdresser who was pretty much completely quiet while cutting my hair (most hairdressers seem to talk endlessly, in my experience). Didn't think much of it, but about halfway through she blurted out "So... what are you doing this weekend?". We started talking and now I've got a date coming up. First time [i]I'm[/i] the one getting picked up when there's no alcohol involved.[/QUOTE] If this was me I'd probably just be like "oh probably nothing." and then go home and not realize what she meant till like 3 weeks later.

[QUOTE=Jackpody;52135507]Hey people. I've been lurking in this thread for years reading all the interesting content all of you post, but I have personally not had the need to post here myself until now. I should start by introducing myself - hi, I'm Chris and I'm 20 years old. I'm a totally normal person who studies at the University of Copenhagen and goes to party on Fridays. I have a two jobs and I have some cool hobbies like art, acting and working on cars. With that out of the way, I really want to get into a relationship again after my most recent broke up back in November 2014. I have no issues speaking with people at parties and I always tend to find someone cool to hang out with. Normally, we tend to hit off at the party and we go for a dance or a drink and everything feels totes cool at the party. However, I always end up not asking if I can have their number or their Facebook profile because I shy out as we leave. It just ends with a "Man, it was great to meet you and stay safe" or something along those lines and I just feel like it ruins everything as I'm expected to make the first move. I'll give a little anecdote from the party I went to just a few hours ago. A gal from my team at Uni had brought one of her collegues to the party. She was great, we talked and she seemed really nice and we shared a lot of interests. We hung out for ours and she's great. However, once again, I totally pussy out at the end because I just don't have the balls to ask for her number or profile. I get this nervous voice saying "What if she won't give you it?" or "Isn't it weird because she's a collegue of one of my good friends?" or "What if she'll laugh at me with her collegue?". I don't think anything would happen, it's just that little voice. When I introduced myself, she even started with "Oh hi Chris! So you're the Chris I've been told about". I was wondering if I should ask my friend from the Uni team what her collegue thought about yesterday, but that seems a tad weird as well. They're both great friends just like I am a great friend of her on the team. Here lies the question - what would you people do in this situation? I've tried sending a friend request if I've met someone I hit off with but first the day after and it always ends up awkwardly, as if they don't have any interest in having a conversation on Face. It also seems a little creepy to add them a a day or two later without having asked prior (but maybe that's just me?).[/QUOTE] Honestly? If it happens again, remember past experiences, admit you don't want regret. To yourself. And then just straight up ask them if they want to go out for a drink/chat sometime. Start low, get to know eachother. About the pussy out thing : big chance the people you talk to at parties will [B]not [/B]remember you or the party or even care to think about it too much. And if she says no, WOOP DE FUCKING DO. YOU TRIED. MOVE ON. No use sitting on your ass. Trust me, I did that for over 6 years and I'm regretting it now. people don't get numbers/rejected ALL THE TIME. If I made a book about how many times a girl has told me to fuck off for some asinine reason in my life, I'd be J.R.R motherfucking omega Tolkin. At one point you learn to live with it and realize that life is not easy, but nothing is important enough to start breaking yourself over. Certainly not trying to hook up, you've got a billion chances to do it.

[QUOTE=OvB;52149777]If this was me I'd probably just be like "oh probably nothing." and then go home and not realize what she meant till like 3 weeks later.[/QUOTE] To be fair, I wasn't sure either at first.

Hey, I have zero experience with relationships and stuff but something has been on my mind a while and I was wondering if you guys could give me some advice. So last semester I met a guy and at some point during the semester he asked me out. I said no at first, with the reasoning that I wasn't really interested in anything like that and that I was busy. Since then it's been pestering me because I really like him, and I'd like to pursue, but he dropped out of my university and moved out the end of last year. He's like a 40 minute drive away still, however. Is this something I should bring up to him? My feelings are just kinda all over the place and I dunno what to really do. He is planning on coming down at some point this summer to hang out, should I talk to him then?

[QUOTE=snookypookums;52115631]:wideeye: Good god, man. Seek help ASAP. Here's some numbers you can reach in the US: Dude, you really need someone to vent to. A lot of us here (including me) are willing to step up to the plate if it means you getting it off your chest. You've made it this far, there's nothing that cataclysmic to warrant ending yourself.[/QUOTE] Things are kind of cool now. I have a tendency to internalize my issues, and I'm really not the vent kind of type. A nice stroll on the beach resolved much of the tensions. Albit, there are some other underlying legal issues I am facing right now which is eating me alive however that is not relevant to this thread.

I feel so pathetic, I'm starting to think this undying love I have for this one girl will be my curse to carry to the grave. I always end up coming back to her and I always find myself uncapable of being in love with another person. I talked to one of my friends a few weeks back (almost cried) and he pretty much said " You need to get over her dude! You can't keep going like this. Always in pain because of one girl". I agree with him but is never easy. I don't know I still hate myself for being so weak and not being able to completely overcome all of this. It's so shameful and ridiculous that I'm still suffering for someone who probably doesn't even care about me as much anymore. Someone who definitely had more boyfriends in her life that I could possibly count. I'm not looking for advice or anything. This is mostly me venting since I really need to right now.

[QUOTE=SoftHearted;52151005]I feel so pathetic, I'm starting to think this undying love I have for this one girl will be my curse to carry to the grave. I always end up coming back to her and I always find myself uncapable of being in love with another person. I talked to one of my friends a few weeks back (almost cried) and he pretty much said " You need to get over her dude! You can't keep going like this. Always in pain because of one girl". I agree with him but is never easy. I don't know I still hate myself for being so weak and not being able to completely overcome all of this. It's so shameful and ridiculous that I'm still suffering for someone who probably doesn't even care about me as much anymore. Someone who definitely had more boyfriends in her life that I could possibly count. I'm not looking for advice or anything. This is mostly me venting since I really need to right now.[/QUOTE] I used to say the same thing since i found my most recent ex and fell for her even harder. There will be someone out there who will surprise you.

[QUOTE=LordyLord;52150432]Hey, I have zero experience with relationships and stuff but something has been on my mind a while and I was wondering if you guys could give me some advice. So last semester I met a guy and at some point during the semester he asked me out. I said no at first, with the reasoning that I wasn't really interested in anything like that and that I was busy. Since then it's been pestering me because I really like him, and I'd like to pursue, but he dropped out of my university and moved out the end of last year. He's like a 40 minute drive away still, however. Is this something I should bring up to him? My feelings are just kinda all over the place and I dunno what to really do. He is planning on coming down at some point this summer to hang out, should I talk to him then?[/QUOTE] Of course, what's even the question? If you want to see him give him a ring and make some plans for when he comes to visit, why not right? Have some fun.

~snip~

I found that forcing yourself to be social is the best way to get over social anxiety. I remember just last semester I had no real friends that I hung out with outside of class, and asking people to do things was almost impossible. I pained over asking my closest friend if he wanted to go to a bar... I never asked him. Queue this semester, I forced myself to hang out. Had him over for the Superbowl. We started going to the bar together, met more friend's, started eating lunch out with them 3 times a week. I started volunteering, and going to campus events. Just about the only thing I didn't get was a romantic relationship... You just have to stick your neck out and have some faith. It'll take some time but you'll get there.

Whats works for me when I get down or feel that way, is just force myself to be social. Go to parties, bars, hang with people, have some drinks, force yourself to talk some girls (or guys), make mistakes, go with the flow, learn from mistakes. Life is about living.

I'm going on a date on Saturday woop I've stopped thinking about my ex now, deleted pictures, unfollowed her on stuff, etc... and I've realised how much of a one sided relationship it was. I'm hella glad to be out of that mess.

So a good 7.5/10 and I have been seeing each other around campus and giving each other smiles for a while now. Yesterday, I was sitting my campus's cafeteria, and she was sitting in the booth directly in front of me and there's a dude sitting in the booth directly behind me. I was figuring out a way to start a conversation next time I saw her since walking up to somebody's booth seems weird. Dude directly behind me begins snorting phlegm and blowing his nose obnoxiously loud for ten minutes straight. Now she sits on the other side of the cafeteria. God dammit.

[QUOTE=Smug Bastard;52153396]So a good 7.5/10 and I have been seeing each other around campus and giving each other smiles for a while now. Yesterday, I was sitting my campus's cafeteria, and she was sitting in the booth directly in front of me and there's a dude sitting in the booth directly behind me. I was figuring out a way to start a conversation next time I saw her since walking up to somebody's booth seems weird. Dude directly behind me begins snorting phlegm and blowing his nose obnoxiously loud for ten minutes straight. Now she sits on the other side of the cafeteria. God dammit.[/QUOTE] I'm gonna start saying this Giving numbers to how much you like appearance is kind of completely childish Either you like it or you don't. Going "woooah 10/10 ew look at that 7/10" is degrading to others and TO YOURSELF.