Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

Little rant sorry

[QUOTE=Dave_Parker;52223954]Just remove her, it's not worth the headache. I had a girl ghost me after 2 weeks of dating, then 2 weeks after that I find out she's still telling everyone we're together.[/QUOTE] Yeah....someone like that is just using you as a placeholder for something better to come along. You deserve to be someone's priority, not an option.

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Hooked up with a 40 year old sexologist yesterday. Sex was great but I don't think the cougar thing is for me, it just feels weird. She drove me home an hour ago and it was the most uncomfortable time this year, didn't know what to talk about. Now it just seems surreal. Doesn't matter, had sex I guess :s:

Well, you tried it (with a MILF nonetheless :weeb:), and you found out it wasn't for you. That's valuable experience gained.

So I'm sitting here, prepping for my week away on the Scottish mainland for my birthday, seeing my friends that have moved away and seeing Iron Maiden 2 days in a row. I'm totally psyched to go, I've been waiting ages for it. This morning I get the news that my grandad, who's fought DVT, blood clots, vein transplants, gangrene, cancer and much more besides in recent years, has been taken into hospital overnight and things aren't looking great. He lives down in Dorset, right on the south coast of England. I'd make the trip down as I have a spare day, but I can't afford it. This trip was going to cost me all my money as it is, I can't spare a penny. It wouldn't be hard to make the journey as I'd be on the mainland anyway, but thanks to being laid off last November, and having to take a £4k a year pay cut, I can't afford anything more. Not exactly what I expected from this week. [editline]14th May 2017[/editline] well, we just got the news that he died about an hour ago. fuck.

my ex and I realised we're still into each other. with an emphasis on we still love each other. i swear in all these years i have never feel this burning sesation for any other person, even now that i've tried to move away and disapear from her life. I just hope she is not trying to screw me, its going to be a disaster if this turns out to be a lie.

Why is it that I can't accept any decision that I make? There was this chick who I was friends with, we were kinda close. the problem was that while talking with her was super satisfying, I would also feel very upset when she said something that would ignite my envy I decided I didn't deserve to feel upset all the time because I envy all she has and I stopped talking to her. But this decision to this day still bothers me I'll be forced to see her in the school's hallways till I leave in about a month or so, hopefully after this this specific problem fixes itself, but the precedent exists and I dont know how to break it

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[QUOTE=SebiWarrior;52227052]Why is it that I can't accept any decision that I make? There was this chick who I was friends with, we were kinda close. the problem was that while talking with her was super satisfying, I would also feel very upset when she said something that would ignite my envy I decided I didn't deserve to feel upset all the time because I envy all she has and I stopped talking to her. But this decision to this day still bothers me I'll be forced to see her in the school's hallways till I leave in about a month or so, hopefully after this this specific problem fixes itself, but the precedent exists and I dont know how to break it[/QUOTE] What did she make you feel envious about? Seems a bit of a dick move to do that to someone else without letting them know it's their fault, man.

[QUOTE=snookypookums;52227480]What did she make you feel envious about? Seems a bit of a dick move to do that to someone else without letting them know it's their fault, man.[/QUOTE] I know the fault lies with me. I get envious about worthless things, and in fact it's the reason why I can't enjoy the friendship She would talk a lot, and while it did indeed bother me when she told other people very private things I said (or anyone else said for that matter) I could simply not tell her things But she would also boast about her friends, the guys who keep trying to get her attention et cetera I had already warned her twice that anytime she said such things it made me angry and sad (because I don't get any attention from anyone, making me feel worthless and not loved) and while she always promised to watch it, she never did

[QUOTE=SebiWarrior;52227611]I know the fault lies with me. I get envious about worthless things, and in fact it's the reason why I can't enjoy the friendship She would talk a lot, and while it did indeed bother me when she told other people very private things I said (or anyone else said for that matter) I could simply not tell her things But she would also boast about her friends, the guys who keep trying to get her attention et cetera I had already warned her twice that anytime she said such things it made me angry and sad (because I don't get any attention from anyone, making me feel worthless and not loved) and while she always promised to watch it, she never did[/QUOTE] In light of the above context, she seems a bit crappy to call a friend, tbh. I guess that while you're partly at fault for just ghosting on her, she wasn't really any better either. But still, you should probably tell her why you're walking away so she knows what she's doing is wrong.

The real question is: Will she give a shit thought? I mean I don't think you need to explain yourself before completely ghosting her. It should be obvious from the get-go that she acted wrongly torwards you just with the act alone. Sometimes ghosting someone reveals who they truly are. If she actually cared she would be trying to make amends or at least she would try to talk to you.

[QUOTE=Metaru;52227043]my ex and I realised we're still into each other. with an emphasis on we still love each other. i swear in all these years i have never feel this burning sesation for any other person, even now that i've tried to move away and disapear from her life. I just hope she is not trying to screw me, its going to be a disaster if this turns out to be a lie.[/QUOTE] this turned out to be a terrible thing. how does one deal with someone that thinks that self-imposed arrogance is a substitute for selfsteem? should i really care for someone who think i have to "prove myself"?

Hi, I've asked something like this a long time ago, but it's a pressing issue and I just wanted some advice. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now, but one source of problems and anxiety on my end is her recreational drug use. What should I do about this? It's not a "problem" for her she's not addicted to anything or any nonsense she just does it occasionally for fun but the people she hangs out with are shitty and do shitty stuff. Am I supposed to try and be more open-minded? I don't want to tell her to do anything because I don't think that's fair but I just have a bad history with family and friends including a couple deaths so the whole thing has a super sour taste for me. I love this girl a ton, but I don't know how to get over that

[QUOTE=snookypookums;52229693]In light of the above context, she seems a bit crappy to call a friend, tbh. I guess that while you're partly at fault for just ghosting on her, she wasn't really any better either. But still, you should probably tell her why you're walking away so she knows what she's doing is wrong.[/QUOTE] I did not ghost her, I guess I didn't explain it properly We had a very long discussion about why I could not be around her, we had the very same discussion everytime it happened she knew very well but things didn't change while she didn't accept my decision and fought against it we're now apart [editline]15th May 2017[/editline] she also had this issue: she always overstepped the boundaries of the relationship it felt more like a romantic entanglement without sex than friendship. and this happens with pretty much every one of her male friends (except of course the ones she's actually romantically interested in) she got to know pretty much every guy in our class and only one of them is still friends with her. she is overwhelming

I've struck out on three tinder matches in a row. Which sucks because they're the only three I've gotten. My ice breaker probably just wasn't good enough. I did what comes naturally to me and went with pure honesty, like "hey I noticed x about you, question or compliment about x?" type stuff, but obviously with three no responses in a row, that isn't going to get their attention. So if I can't just be normal and start a natural conversation, I guess I have to manipulate the situation by playing some sort of game. So how do I formulate an opener that will be more likely to garner a response within the confines of this game that I'm failing at? I was thinking about something deeper so she has various ways she could go with it, but succinct enough so it stands out. So my idea was "What motivates you?" Or "What moves you?". How likely is that to actually start a conversation? I know that I personally would have a lot to say to a question like that. But I would also have a lot to say to virtually anyone who talks to me who isn't homeless so I don't know what that means. You can see I'm not hilarious. I would just go for it, but I will have to wait until I get another match first, which might take a while, and if that sounds like a dumb idea I'd rather not waste my next match and be 0/4, so I'm taking any suggestions. I'm starting to feel like screw the online thing and just go meet people normally cuz I've had better success with that....

I've gave up on online dating, it's just so fickle. I was having big text conversations with 2/3 girls and they all just stop replying to me. I check what I sent and it's literally a reply to their question and me sending another relevant question I think I'm just gonna give up on women overall for now.

Honestly, that's pretty normal even with woman that you get know in real life. I was talking with one of my friends yesterday and he said the same happens to him all the time. You just get used to it after a while. Best to move on and whatever has to happen happens in time. [editline]16th May 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=Metaru;52229902]should i really care for someone who think i have to "prove myself"?[/QUOTE] That's probably a rethorical question, but no you really shouldn't care for that. During my time in Highschool I was surrounded everyday by people like that. You don't owe anything to anyone other than yourself.

I would legit go gay if I didn't like boobs so much. Why can't people just be straightforward. I think the best way for me to find someone is to just chill and go with the flow and I'll eventually meet the right person. Being alone sucks tho but I have started hanging out with my friends more.

[QUOTE=J Paul;52234038]I've struck out on three tinder matches in a row. Which sucks because they're the only three I've gotten. My ice breaker probably just wasn't good enough. I did what comes naturally to me and went with pure honesty, like "hey I noticed x about you, question or compliment about x?" type stuff, but obviously with three no responses in a row, that isn't going to get their attention. So if I can't just be normal and start a natural conversation, I guess I have to manipulate the situation by playing some sort of game. So how do I formulate an opener that will be more likely to garner a response within the confines of this game that I'm failing at? I was thinking about something deeper so she has various ways she could go with it, but succinct enough so it stands out. So my idea was "What motivates you?" Or "What moves you?". How likely is that to actually start a conversation? I know that I personally would have a lot to say to a question like that. But I would also have a lot to say to virtually anyone who talks to me who isn't homeless so I don't know what that means. You can see I'm not hilarious. I would just go for it, but I will have to wait until I get another match first, which might take a while, and if that sounds like a dumb idea I'd rather not waste my next match and be 0/4, so I'm taking any suggestions. I'm starting to feel like screw the online thing and just go meet people normally cuz I've had better success with that....[/QUOTE] pro tip: When you don't get a response, it's [i]usually[/i] not because the other person saw your message and was like "I don't like this message so I'm not going to respond." I think it's more often that people just aren't that invested in the app, some people just play around with it for fun and have no intention of messaging anyone. There's never going to be any opener that's guaranteed to get a response. Not like those ads on the internet that go "This ONE SIMPLE TRICK will make ANY WOMAN sleep with you!" Matches might be few and far between, but I think it's important to not give them too heavy of consideration until someone actually DOES decide to respond

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;52235989]pro tip: When you don't get a response, it's [i]usually[/i] not because the other person saw your message and was like "I don't like this message so I'm not going to respond." I think it's more often that people just aren't that invested in the app, some people just play around with it for fun and have no intention of messaging anyone. There's never going to be any opener that's guaranteed to get a response. Not like those ads on the internet that go "This ONE SIMPLE TRICK will make ANY WOMAN sleep with you!" Matches might be few and far between, but I think it's important to not give them too heavy of consideration until someone actually DOES decide to respond[/QUOTE] Right, yeah, that makes sense. I read this one thing that said the average woman on tinder gets over a few dozen messages a day. So it probably just got lost in the pile. It's alright though thanks anyway I just deleted all my dating app accounts and uninstalled them. I need to find a game I can actually compete in or maybe even win.

Sometimes I get a message and I don't know how to reply to it so I decide to come back to it later. Then I forget to ever respond.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;52238112]Sometimes I get a message and I don't know how to reply to it so I decide to come back to it later. Then I forget to ever respond.[/QUOTE] In my case, I usually get a message that is so borderline mono-syllabalic that I go "Well, fuck this, so much for her being "a great conversationalist", I got other shit to do and immediately de-prioritize her until I'm on the shitter with my phone and I've already seen most of my visited subreddits. :v: I don't even care about online dating anymore because I've been told that I have a much better, attractive presence in person. I feel like the discovery element is completely lost in online elements, and the fickleness is real - Since the pool to choose from is so large and readily accessible, there's very little incentive to actually even bother, to be honest. You can be freshest, roundest peach, but someone will still either a) not like peaches or b) Think you're not her preferred shade of peach. :v: So now, I just go out with friends, go to events that force me to social (more recently, this has involved me going to CIIP sessions in preparation for moving to Canada and it turns out a lot of single women are there too, so woo for me :dance:) and just....be comfortable with myself as a person. I've also begun taking up small steps to learn practical things - one practical thing a week. For example, this week, it's going to be learn how to sew a button and mend/darn torn clothing by myself. Next week, I'm going to choose something simple and yet important.

Alright so i started talking with this girl online and she lives in the US while i live in the UK. She added me and i didnt really think anything of it. We continued talking, exchanging pictures, and well she said i look nice, that i'm cute etc... Nobody have really said that to me before. She is nice as well, but she seems to be struggling from low self esteem, confidence and some other things, and she constantly apologizes and when i say nice things to hear she tells me that she is very happy that i think that way about her. She also told me that she was abused by her first and only boyfriend. But today she asked me if i'd be willing to meet, that she would visit me with her friend because she is getting a graduation gift from her family. She also said that she constantly thinks of me and said that she really likes me as more than just friends. Now i've met people from online before, but it was me who travelled to them and they weren't from another continent... Either way i don't mind meeting her but i feel like she might end up dissapointed or that this whole thing might fall apart due to distance leaving us both heartbroken in the end. I mean for me money is not an issue at the moment but i don't know... I've never had this before. I like her too and years ago i would have felt the same way she does, but after so many dissapointments i can't help but feel scared that it might end up like all the others. What should i do? I've heard stories of people managing huge LDRs for years and then eventually moving together and marrying. This girl is almost perfect for me and we have a lot in common as well, im starting to like her more but i'm scared because i don't want to end up heartbroken, and i've never been in a relationship before.

Invite her to the UK. What's to lose? Best case scenario, you meet your future wife in person. Worst case, you get to be a good tour guide to the UK for some foreigners. I feel like I missed my chances to find a girlfriend. I was a social recluse in high school and I didn't have any luck with girls there. As an adult, I don't want to meet women at bars or clubs because either A) they're shitty because they hang around bars waiting to be picked up or B) they're already taken. And online dating is weird because nobody ever gets back with the messages I send. How should I find a girlfriend? I guess college you can meet people but would I really spend thousands on an education just to meet a significant other? Or has my ship sailed and I should focus on hobbies and other things?

[QUOTE=Blazyd;52202199]The girl who was so thirsty for me suddenly becomes weird and distant once I got home from college and come time to actually hang out she goes silent. like she literally asked me to fuck and kept sending me "ugh I miss you so much" "pls kiss me" texts and now she like barely even responds anymore ????????[/QUOTE] Since the thirsty girl ghosted me I'm probably just gonna forget about her because I started talking to one of her friends - who I hung out with today. I was so nervous to hang out with her because I'm terrible at meeting new people, but as soon as I picked her up it was like an instant hit-off basically. We went to the mall for a couple hours to eat and shop. She's super cool, laid back, so easy to get along with, and is actually way more attractive than her insta pics show her to be, so I was pleasantly surprised (I mean, she's very good looking anyway, but more-so in person if that makes sense). A part of me was even considering cancelling our hanging out today because I was just too anxious about the whole thing, but I fought through that feeling and it worked out way better than I could've expected. That anxiousness went away after only a few minutes of being with her. Since it worked out, I'll text her again and hopefully she'll be down to go out more!

[QUOTE=Kabstrac;52227895]Really sorry to hear that. Your grandfather sounds like a true fighter. I'm sure he would still hope that you can find enjoyment in your week coming up. Hope you're doing alright[/QUOTE] he fought like a champ but I think the cancer really weakened him to the point where he just couldn't do it any more. the funeral isn't too far away, probably a week or two, but I wouldn't miss that for anything. I did have a good time away though, and there's some good memories to look back on and remember this whole time. mostly Iron Maiden's stage setting catching fire twice in one show.

Alright I have 3 scenarios. There's this chick that I sometimes sit next to in this writing class I'm taking at uni. We kinda talk every once in a while and she's giving me positive signals.... at least I think. Might be reading into it too much. I'm thinking about asking her if she wants to grab lunch, but idk if she likes me or is just being friendly or something 1. I was drawing [url=http://i.imgur.com/szjhGl3.png]this pic[/url] in photoshop. I was just bored while the prof was lecturing, dicking around and recreating the class in Photoshop. The "8 likes ;)" thing made her laugh. And then she took a pic of it and saved it to her phone 2. I was hella sick and I sneezed really loudly like 4 or 5 times in a row. She asked me if I was ok and I was like "i dunno" and she laughed 3. I was eating some oats out of a bag and she randomly asked me about it and wanted to try some Any insight would be appreciated. I feel like these are green lights, but idk she seems to be pretty outgoing so maybe I'm just reading into it too much.

I think you're probably reading into it too much but it's possible that she's trying to interact with you especially.