Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

Also hopefully have a date in the next week+, girl I've been speaking to said yeah but she's going to see family this week and might not be available this weekend. Also got two other girls numbers which I'm speaking to at the moment. Let's hope it goes well

I made a dating profile on OkCupid for kicks, but I'm bad at describing myself in a short and sweet manner. I hate to ask but could someone help me out?

[QUOTE=Branflakes;52286223]I made a dating profile on OkCupid for kicks, but I'm bad at describing myself in a short and sweet manner. I hate to ask but could someone help me out?[/QUOTE] show us what you got

Okay. Recent graduate from local CC with an AAS in electronics. Plan to attend 4 year soon, work in a co-op with a local company doing repairs. Slightly nerdy, love history. Sounds funny but I wear funny 70 year old clothing and do historical reenactments. I'm no dancing with the stars but when I get some free time I go out swing/ballroom dancing. Hobbies include hiking, camping, biking, trying out new and weird foods, some what gym, I enjoy traveling when I get the chance. Not crazy about politics. Not really religious. Care free and easy going.

Far from an expert but you're basically just listing things about yourself which doesn't really read very well. I'd probably avoid mentioning politics, religion etc as well, you can cross that bridge when you come to it. I'd find the most important and interesting things in there and focus on those. If you're talking about things you like don't try and justify them with "it sounds funny" or whatever because that makes them think it's weird rather than just a fun thing you like doing.

[QUOTE=Branflakes;52286427]Okay. Recent graduate from local CC with an AAS in electronics. Plan to attend 4 year soon, work in a co-op with a local company doing repairs. Slightly nerdy, love history. Sounds funny but I wear funny 70 year old clothing and do historical reenactments. I'm no dancing with the stars but when I get some free time I go out swing/ballroom dancing. Hobbies include hiking, camping, biking, trying out new and weird foods, some what gym, I enjoy traveling when I get the chance. Not crazy about politics. Not really religious. Care free and easy going.[/QUOTE] Problem here is that the person that knows you most is you, we could write you a funny or witty bio, but if that's not who you are you're probably not going to be talking with a lot of your matches. I'd personally go with "Slightly nerdy, love history. Sounds funny but I wear funny 70 year old clothing and do historical reenactments. I'm no dancing with the stars but when I get some free time I go out swing/ballroom dancing" as that shows some fun and interesting hobbies as well as show a bit who you are. Things like work and education can be brought up for a first date if things go quiet.

I have a problem. I keep getting jealous whenever my neighbor from the room next to mine gets her boyfriend over. She's a friend and I'm happy for her but at the same time I feel like shit. I don't think it will ever go away.

[QUOTE=maeZtro;52287801]I have a problem. I keep getting jealous whenever my neighbor from the room next to mine gets her boyfriend over. She's a friend and I'm happy for her but at the same time I feel like shit. I don't think it will ever go away.[/QUOTE] It will when you have your own SO, at least it does for me

[QUOTE=SebiWarrior;52287802]It will when you have your own SO, at least it does for me[/QUOTE] The thing is, whenever I've met someone new and slept with them I start thinking about her and fuck it up. It's been like this for almost a year now. I'm moving to a larger room at the other end of the house in a few days so hopefully that will help a little bit.

It was my birthday today and day is almost over. Not sure how to feel, every year it's same feeling. From one perspective - it's just a normal day. From another: I woke up, I went to work, I came home, I played CSGO, I spoke to friend on Discord and I will go to sleep soon, I did nothing special today. Pretty much like every other day in my life except I am getting extra amount of messages and calls. This happens every year, and every year I keep thinking: I should find a hobby and do something to avoid having repetative days but then I just end up not doing anything and thinking exactly same thing on my next birthday.

[QUOTE=arleitiss;52288615]It was my birthday today and day is almost over. Not sure how to feel, every year it's same feeling. From one perspective - it's just a normal day. From another: I woke up, I went to work, I came home, I played CSGO, I spoke to friend on Discord and I will go to sleep soon, I did nothing special today. Pretty much like every other day in my life except I am getting extra amount of messages and calls. This happens every year, and every year I keep thinking: I should find a hobby and do something to avoid having repetative days but then I just end up not doing anything and thinking exactly same thing on my next birthday.[/QUOTE] Ain't really no solution expect going out and doing something - try bouldering or climbing for example, if there's a place near you. Or take a bike trip with a friend. Go see a movie. Drive somewhere and bring lunch. Sometimes I feel the same way, but you really only have the fun you make yourself. I think it's more than normal to feel stuck in the grind, but you kinda just have to make the best of a life that is, on average, almost strictly routine. [editline]29th May 2017[/editline] [QUOTE=Fourm Shark;52288854]So one thing particularly has been bugging me about my girlfriend. We had went to her friends house and hung out with a few people i never really spoken to before. Im not really a social person so i tend to stay quiet. I felt pressure to talk but because i dont really have anything to say, i kinda just make light jokes and observations awkwardly. Now i know her friend, longer than my girlfriend has known her so she was really the only one i felt comfortable talking to. So i make some joke comments that could be taken negatively. I thought we were close enough to just joke around but i guess not. They talked about this with my girlfriend about how i was being really negative towards her friend, and she berated me for it days later. This felt like it came out of the blue. I was told that i didnt need to apologize for it because it wasnt that big of a deal. If it wasnt that big of a deal i feel like i wouldnt have heard about it like that. I apologized to her friend over text and in person. However, since then its been brought up like 3 times, and it feels like every comment i make is being scrutinized and taken negatively by my girlfriend. Its annoying me because it makes me feel like a shitty person whenever she brings it up, but feel we should be over it by now.[/QUOTE] It's a good idea to keep in mind that shockingly few people are good at detecting sarcasm and irony. My family basically runs on that shit, but you really have to know your crowd, sadly. Just try to put it behind you, and your GF should probably grow up and stop giving you shit for it.

Matched with a girl on tinder and we plan to go out hiking and take pictures together so that's good!! I get a decent amount of matches but they never amount to anything so if we actually hang out that'll be my first tinder success.

Meh, back to square one on OkCupid when people give me various excuses for dropping our already planned date. Same song and dance blah blah blah. What's with people always getting cold feet for no discernible reason? [editline]29th May 2017[/editline] If I was paranoid at this point I'd blame this on a city-wide conspiracy to break my spirit. Unfortunately that would be too interesting, the truth is much more simple and boring: people just can't commit to shit even when the stakes are completely nil.

I'm in Jerusalem and I saw this cute Orthodox girl so I pretended to be lost in order to talk to her. I think we hit it off but I'm not sure. When I "found" the place I'm staying at, I asked her for her number since she seemed to know where things were around the part of Jerusalem I'm staying at. She gave it to me and I'm considering texting her asking her to recommend me a good place to eat and wording it in a way that implies that we should eat together. Any suggestions for how to word the text?

[QUOTE=Svinnik;52290182]I'm in Jerusalem and I saw this cute Orthodox girl so I pretended to be lost in order to talk to her. I think we hit it off but I'm not sure. When I "found" the place I'm staying at, I asked her for her number since she seemed to know where things were around the part of Jerusalem I'm staying at. She gave it to me and I'm considering texting her asking her to recommend me a good place to eat and wording it in a way that implies that we should eat together. Any suggestions for how to word the text?[/QUOTE] Maybe something along the lines of "You seem to know your way around the city, would you like to show me around?". If she agrees, at some point you'll have to grab some food anyway, and this way you don't risk her just saying "Ahab's Kosher Crepe Deluxe Bistro is pretty good, enjoy yourself!", because you don't have to imply anything, you're being upfront about wanting to meet her.

[QUOTE=GoDong-DK;52290248]Maybe something along the lines of "You seem to know your way around the city, would you like to show me around?". If she agrees, at some point you'll have to grab some food anyway, and this way you don't risk her just saying "Ahab's Kosher Crepe Deluxe Bistro is pretty good, enjoy yourself!", because you don't have to imply anything, you're being upfront about wanting to meet her.[/QUOTE] What I was thinking is asking her, "Hey, can you take me to any good places to eat?" and going from there

Oh hey, guess who confused friendship with affection again. Just fuck off with it. I don't want it. I got dudes to be friends with.

[QUOTE=damnatus;52291272]Oh hey, guess who confused friendship with affection again. Just fuck off with it. I don't want it. I got dudes to be friends with.[/QUOTE] I'd hate to turn down anyone who wants to be friends with me, guy or girl, even if I was looking for a relationship.

If you can't accept friendship from someone who is genuinely offering it, then you might have bigger problems fam. Friendship isn't a consolation prize. [editline]30th May 2017[/editline] Far as I can tell, whoever you're talking about dodged a bullet.

If you can't appreciate someone on as basic a level as a friend, then you couldn't ever appreciate them in a relationship anyway.

So I've been feeling kind of down recently thinking about my relationships and what not. I think I'm in the same boat that a lot of people are, where you're really worried that you won't find anyone for you and general thoughts like that. I keep telling myself that it's an irrational fear and that thinking like that will only make it come true. But then I start thinking about how the thing with the last girl, which has been my only semi-serious relationship thus far, just sort of happened naturally and took very little effort on my part. One one hand I can say that it's a very positive sign because it means that I'm at least a little bit likable and might be appealing to future girls too. On the other hand I get really worried and sad that I don't have any other female friends, and haven't yet met another girl like the last one, and am still a virgin (although at least not kissless), etc etc... The list goes on. Obviously as a horny 20 year old I know I'm blowing all this fear way out of proportion but that doesn't stop me from thinking about it occasionally and getting down on myself. Also probably doesn't help that I've been striking out on tinder and this summer doesn't easily allow for me to go out and meet people. I'm just hoping that once I'm back at school I'll be able to at the very least have better tinder luck and maybe find someone that I can actually get serious with for once. Anyway that's my vent for this week. I don't know how all my posts end up being multiple paragraphs but I'd appreciate insight if anyone else has dealt with this early-twenties relationship anxiety as well.

^ You sound pretty desperate for companionship. I don't think it would be a good thing for you right now. If you think about a long-lasting relationship with someone, it comes from a positive motivation to be with them (for example: common interests, common goals, supportive of one another, good sex, etc). Jumping into a relationship with a girl with the mindset of "idk if anybody else will like me :(" would not be fair to her, or yourself. I'd get that shit sorted out first.

[QUOTE=Not64;52294068]^ You sound pretty desperate for companionship. I don't think it would be a good thing for you right now. If you think about a long-lasting relationship with someone, it comes from a positive motivation to be with them (for example: common interests, common goals, supportive of one another, good sex, etc). Jumping into a relationship with a girl with the mindset of "idk if anybody else will like me :(" would not be fair to her, or yourself. I'd get that shit sorted out first.[/QUOTE] I don't really think he gives off that signal, to be honest. Personally I think it's pretty normal to have an "early twenties' crisis" because you're at a point where you're becoming way more reliant on yourself to make choices; am I studying the right thing, am I gonna get a job? Your social circle grows less obvious, when you don't have a class like in high school, and suddenly you have more of a personal responsibility to meet new people. I just came out of a 3.5 year long relationship, and despite that fact I'm also sometimes having thoughts like "will anyone ever love me again?". I think it's basically best to just take it chill, be proactive about meeting new people, but let things develop organically.

[QUOTE=Pascall;52291746]If you can't accept friendship from someone who is genuinely offering it, then you might have bigger problems fam. Friendship isn't a consolation prize. [editline]30th May 2017[/editline] Far as I can tell, whoever you're talking about dodged a bullet.[/QUOTE] I wasn't offered anything (nor did I), it's a friendly work (study, actually) relationship that happened by itself. Not like I'm against it or plan to deliberately ruin it, I just don't want it to go any closer. I've been burned many times in the past because every time a girl considers me worthy enough to open up to I start to develop feelings, and then it's hell. So I'm more or less protecting them from myself.

This girl I've been speaking to for around a week now has said she would want to meet up for coffee/drinks However I'm still confused as to whether she is actually interested. She barely talks all day, though we end up doing big texts/multiple questions to make up for it and now she's not replied for two days. Surely if you're interested you would be replying quite frequently and wanting to get to know that person. I feel like asking her if she is interested in this whole thing Would rather not waste my time

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;52295099]This girl I've been speaking to for around a week now has said she would want to meet up for coffee/drinks However I'm still confused as to whether she is actually interested. She barely talks all day, though we end up doing big texts/multiple questions to make up for it and now she's not replied for two days. Surely if you're interested you would be replying quite frequently and wanting to get to know that person. I feel like asking her if she is interested in this whole thing Would rather not waste my time[/QUOTE] Some people just suck at responding to texts, don't check their phone much and/or are doing other stuff. Sometimes I'll be doing something for a while, check my phone and read a message but not have time to respond then forget about it for a bit. Nothing to do with the other person, I'm just busy. I wouldn't read too much into it.

[QUOTE=TrannyAlert;52295099]This girl I've been speaking to for around a week now has said she would want to meet up for coffee/drinks However I'm still confused as to whether she is actually interested. She barely talks all day, though we end up doing big texts/multiple questions to make up for it and now she's not replied for two days. Surely if you're interested you would be replying quite frequently and wanting to get to know that person. I feel like asking her if she is interested in this whole thing Would rather not waste my time[/QUOTE] If it's been a week and she is the one asking you, she's interested. If she weren't, she's had plenty of time to stop responding.

Well I mean I was the one asking and she said yeah. but yeah, we will see how it goes and if she does respond

Can confirm I am one of those people who completely forgets to respond to texts for days [editline]31st May 2017[/editline] Also why I have like 15 tinder matches I keep forgetting to message

Welp, I have a bit of trouble asking people how are they going (as I assume they have better things to do and thus I am intruding), or answering when people ask me how am I going (as I think I shouldn't really bore them with details, and they probably are going to ask me something else afterwards). This sucks, as I genuinely like to get up to date with people and care about their welbeing, and of course other people care about myself. Guess I have to work on this, step by step.