Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[QUOTE=Adarrek;52241992]Alright so i started talking with this girl online and she lives in the US while i live in the UK. She added me and i didnt really think anything of it. We continued talking, exchanging pictures, and well she said i look nice, that i'm cute etc... Nobody have really said that to me before. She is nice as well, but she seems to be struggling from low self esteem, confidence and some other things, and she constantly apologizes and when i say nice things to hear she tells me that she is very happy that i think that way about her. She also told me that she was abused by her first and only boyfriend. But today she asked me if i'd be willing to meet, that she would visit me with her friend because she is getting a graduation gift from her family. She also said that she constantly thinks of me and said that she really likes me as more than just friends. Now i've met people from online before, but it was me who travelled to them and they weren't from another continent... Either way i don't mind meeting her but i feel like she might end up dissapointed or that this whole thing might fall apart due to distance leaving us both heartbroken in the end. I mean for me money is not an issue at the moment but i don't know... I've never had this before. I like her too and years ago i would have felt the same way she does, but after so many dissapointments i can't help but feel scared that it might end up like all the others. What should i do? I've heard stories of people managing huge LDRs for years and then eventually moving together and marrying. This girl is almost perfect for me and we have a lot in common as well, im starting to like her more but i'm scared because i don't want to end up heartbroken, and i've never been in a relationship before.[/QUOTE] I just wanted to give an update on this. We are still going to meet in August, and we also talk daily. She made it clear that she is really serious and won't cheat, she even told me that she is scared of losing me and me finding someone else near me. She also told me that she really loves me and wants to be with me. She reassures me that she won't cheat on me and she even put one of my pictures that i've sent her into a frame and keeps it on her desk. She still apologizes a lot for mundane things and always thinks that i'll stop liking her for something even though i reassured her that i won't or that she did something stupid or dumb. A small part of me likes this, and no i'm not going to use her or cheat on her or anything like that. I've realized that i love her too and she is everything i've ever wanted in a girl. If things go well for us and we really liked each other in person too i might visit her in December.

[QUOTE=Adarrek;52352847]I just wanted to give an update on this. We are still going to meet in August, and we also talk daily. She made it clear that she is really serious and won't cheat, she even told me that she is scared of losing me and me finding someone else near me. She also told me that she really loves me and wants to be with me. She reassures me that she won't cheat on me and she even put one of my pictures that i've sent her into a frame and keeps it on her desk. She still apologizes a lot for mundane things and always thinks that i'll stop liking her for something even though i reassured her that i won't or that she did something stupid or dumb. A small part of me likes this, and no i'm not going to use her or cheat on her or anything like that. I've realized that i love her too and she is everything i've ever wanted in a girl. If things go well for us and we really liked each other in person too i might visit her in December.[/QUOTE] That's really good for you man, hope it'll work out well. Wait and see in August !

[QUOTE=Adarrek;52352847]I just wanted to give an update on this. We are still going to meet in August, and we also talk daily. She made it clear that she is really serious and won't cheat, she even told me that she is scared of losing me and me finding someone else near me. She also told me that she really loves me and wants to be with me. She reassures me that she won't cheat on me and she even put one of my pictures that i've sent her into a frame and keeps it on her desk. She still apologizes a lot for mundane things and always thinks that i'll stop liking her for something even though i reassured her that i won't or that she did something stupid or dumb. A small part of me likes this, and no i'm not going to use her or cheat on her or anything like that. I've realized that i love her too and she is everything i've ever wanted in a girl. If things go well for us and we really liked each other in person too i might visit her in December.[/QUOTE] Is this the same girl who previously cheated on her now ex-boyfriend because she wanted to be with you? If so, red flags still showing.

I have a very common situation im dealing with and i wanted to ask for help on some forms of actions i could take to make this more mature and learn from it. 3 months ago i met a girl. Incredible, funny, smart, from my same uni. Never felt this connected to someone in my life, talking about art, emotions and everything i wished i could share with someone. We met every weekend for like 2 months straight and talked everyday. I, for that matter, fell in love with her pretty quickly, but i didnt know if she was on the same rail, so i expressed myself on that matter. She said she didnt felt the same way. Shes was out of her last relationship like 4 months and later said she felt she didnt know if she was gonna be able to love someone again. I felt kinda sorry for myself, and for her too. Since that, we still talk a lot and meet up. I havent been able to do it again for a while since uni has been a bitch and im busy. Shes been asking to meet and i, for some reason, been really, really missing her. Now, i have been in these kind of dynamics (call it friendzone idk) for years and years and in the end i end up just getting my ass out of there. But since those years, i actually was in a relationship, and learned a lot. I would get away, because im feeling extremely frustrated and kinda dumb for getting myself in this position all over again, but i do understand people dont owe me love in any sense, and its something i brought myself in without anyone else, but, i swear i have learned sooo much from her, and i can talk about stuff i cant with anyone else, she really really supports and loves everything im doing and accomplishing with my projects and its been a real gift for me this year that, as she told me, if i got away as any guy who seeks her for sex and leaves when thats not the case, it would crush her. Told me i helped her going through depression, that she never laughed so hard in her life like when she started meeting me and that i inspire her to take actions in her life and study what she loves, and noone did that for her in like never. In a rational sense, the mature thing is to accept what this is, cut my dreams (again, as always) down and accept her as the real friend she is, but im feeling like crap and weird more and more as time passes and i hate it, because im truly interested in her being the best version of herself, with or without me, she could be with someone else, i think i'd cheer her up in anything she wants, even going back with her ex, i dont know. How do i deal with these feelings? are there some actual exercises to approach myself on that change? to feel different? like, actual actions i can take part of to mature with this? Thanks

Reset Tinder, time to get back at it. [IMG]http://i.cubeupload.com/XoWcfQ.png[/IMG]

Grab dat pussy

Is it strange to be broken up with someone and yet still not really want to seek anyone else out? My boyfriend and I broke up because he was moving a little too fast in terms of settling down, wanting me to move in with him and get married soon despite me not even having a proper job, finished school, or literally ever moved out of my parents house. I still have feelings for him but I just needed to take some time to finish all this shit I started and try to establish myself in the working world. I worry a little bit that he might decide he's ready to move on but I wouldn't be bitter or anything. ANYWAY I was just wondering if that was weird is all. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Yeah I figured. I mean I definitely wanna move out eventually but I think I really want to try living on my own for even just a few months rather than go from being dependent on my parents to being dependent on a husband without ever experiencing having to live for myself. I'm not interesting in "exploring options" in terms of relationships, mainly because I'm not a very romantic person in general and doing that doesn't interest me in the least lol but I just need some time to kind of experience independence like most people do rather than just jumping into marriage right away. I figure that makes more sense for someone like me who's never been on her own before.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;52355759]Have you considered moving out with a friend? You don't have to go up and marry to move out of your parents, and it'd ease the financial burden. Less work required than a romantic relationship, too.[/QUOTE] That's what I'm considering. My best friend is a few years younger than me and plans on moving to Boston to go to University. I thought about heading out there with him if I could find a job and getting an apartment there. Maybe living with him for a few months or even a year or two. He's the only person I can see sharing a home with who I wouldn't get aggravated by lol. It hinges on whether or not I can find a job up there though and it's hard enough finding a job HERE to even get me started on making money so we'll see. I'm definitely open to it though.

[QUOTE=Pascall;52355850]That's what I'm considering. My best friend is a few years younger than me and plans on moving to Boston to go to University. I thought about heading out there with him if I could find a job and getting an apartment there. Maybe living with him for a few months or even a year or two. He's the only person I can see sharing a home with who I wouldn't get aggravated by lol. It hinges on whether or not I can find a job up there though and it's hard enough finding a job HERE to even get me started on making money so we'll see. I'm definitely open to it though.[/QUOTE] I dunno where you live in the US, but searching a job in several cities should deflnitly increase your chance to get one. For me it's pure logic. Have you considered other cities, maybe moving to a totally different part of the US ?

[QUOTE=farmatyr;52355491]Reset Tinder, time to get back at it. [url]https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/85825490/Sharex/Screenshots/2017-06/2017-06231058.png[/url][/QUOTE] Awkward, I'm still waiting for my first match. Been using it for 4 months.

[QUOTE=Eirheinger;52355901]I dunno where you live in the US, but searching a job in several cities should deflnitly increase your chance to get one. For me it's pure logic. Have you considered other cities, maybe moving to a totally different part of the US ?[/QUOTE] Boston would be a totally different part since I'm in South Texas right now. I just worry because I feel like the further I go the more stringent qualifications are gonna be lol. Idk if that's logical at all. I've just gotten excited by a lot of posted job opportunities that I'm totally qualified for only to see a big ol' "REQUIREMENT: BACHELOR'S DEGREE OR HIGHER" plastered on there. And I'm pretty sure that's the basis for why a lot of jobs don't get back to me. I try to apply anyway if I think I have the qualifications because I'm hoping the degree can be something they can be lenient on but that's never the case. Succs. But anyway I guess I'm just worried. I can't move until I graduate either way so I'm stuck here until May 2018 at the earliest.

[QUOTE=Pascall;52355911]Boston would be a totally different part since I'm in South Texas right now. I just worry because I feel like the further I go the more stringent qualifications are gonna be lol. Idk if that's logical at all. I've just gotten excited by a lot of posted job opportunities that I'm totally qualified for only to see a big ol' "REQUIREMENT: BACHELOR'S DEGREE OR HIGHER" plastered on there. And I'm pretty sure that's the basis for why a lot of jobs don't get back to me. I try to apply anyway if I think I have the qualifications because I'm hoping the degree can be something they can be lenient on but that's never the case. Succs. But anyway I guess I'm just worried. I can't move until I graduate either way so I'm stuck here until May 2018 at the earliest.[/QUOTE] American system seems pretty different from the French one, I struggle to understand school levels. Are you in "higher studies" (then you're between 18 and 25 yo) or you're nearly 18 ? Because maybe job offers don't reply to your participation based on your young age and/or inexperience. Otherwise, have you got professionnal experience in your past ? French job offers rely heavily on candidate's former jobs (that's how it worked for me as well, even though I'm 19) Don't know your domain of qualifications, but knowing people really helps to find job (again, worked for me). Haven't you got some family, or friend that work in some place that could use your skills ? Might be both the opportunity to move elsewhere and live on your own with a good (first) job [B]Edited :[/B] (In France, graduations that come after the national majority exam are mixed with professional integration, so you must find a partime, or a 2-4months fulltime internship to complete each year. This way, when you graduate, if you decide to find a job, maybe you already got one, otherwise it'll be easier because you've got (in general) a nice total of 2 years internship)

[QUOTE=Eirheinger;52355969]American system seems pretty different from the French one, I struggle to understand school levels. Are you in "higher studies" (then you're between 18 and 25 yo) or you're nearly 18 ? Because maybe job offers don't reply to your participation based on your young age and/or inexperience. Otherwise, have you got professionnal experience in your past ? French job offers rely heavily on candidate's former jobs (that's how it worked for me as well, even though I'm 19) Don't know your domain of qualifications, but knowing people really helps to find job (again, worked for me). Haven't you got some family, or friend that work in some place that could use your skills ? Might be both the opportunity to move elsewhere and live on your own with a good (first) job [B]Edited :[/B] (In France, graduations that come after the national majority exam are mixed with professional integration, so you must find a partime, or a 2-4months fulltime internship to complete each year. This way, when you graduate, if you decide to find a job, maybe you already got one, otherwise it'll be easier because you've got (in general) a nice total of 2 years internship)[/QUOTE] Oh no, I'm 25, about to be 26. I'm pretty old lol, I just took too long to choose a major in college so I'm a bit behind in terms of education. I'm at university right now, earning the secondary level of "degree" you can get. Two years of classes essentially adds up to an "Associates" degree and the second level is a Bachelor's. After that would be a Master's, then a PhD if your field has a doctorate program. I've had many jobs both paid and unpaid, have a lot of different qualifications in early education (ages 5-13), studio art, and various technical computer skills and my resume/CV reflects that. But here in America, a lot of well paid part time or full time jobs prefer a Bachelor's degree or higher and I'm still two semesters away from receiving that degree. It's a big barrier to getting a job that will pay me enough to afford health insurance. The job market here is vicious and brutal and being disabled and in school doesn't help that much either. I've basically got three huge obstacles preventing me from locking in a decent job.

Got a little question, which will probably sound obvious to a lot but for me it's literally my first date with someone ever so I don't really know what to do myself. I have been talking to this girl for almost a month now, asked her out for a coffee a while ago, when we meet once college is done for both of us and stuff so the date won't be for some time anyway. I've caught a lot of feelings for her and I still haven't admitted it because I'm undecided whether it's best to admit them as soon as possible or around when the date takes place. I've checked up some guides over on wikihow which I was recommended to some time ago when I had my good old high school crushes but I never really considered them at the time, and now that I've seen a few guides, I'm still kinda mixed about it all. So like, is it best to admit feelings as soon as possible or around when the date is, potentially asking her out and anything else that could happen? I'm so scared I'm gonna fuck it up on my first try even though I'm bound to make mistakes somewhere and with a girl I've started getting a huge liking for.

[QUOTE=Kindlinho;52355906]Awkward, I'm still waiting for my first match. Been using it for 4 months.[/QUOTE] pretty sure farmatyr is handsome squidward irl

[QUOTE=farmatyr;52355491]Reset Tinder, time to get back at it. [IMG]http://i.cubeupload.com/XoWcfQ.png[/IMG][/QUOTE] sorry but wtf? do you live in a big city or something? are you young Johnny Depp who traveled forward in time? how the fuck

Guys, I don't know what to do. It's been such a long time since I felt strong feelings towards someone, and I feel empty going on without them. I want to proclaim to the world about how great she is and how much I want to a relationship, but it's incredibly rude for a relationship just getting off the ground. When I saw her last, it ended on such a romantic note. I felt that I fucked up so hard trying to make a move and throw my arm around her during a movie. It ended up being me awkwardly apologizing about it and her brushing it off as no big deal, and dropping her off at home. We shared our first kiss after a month and a half of dating, and embraced ourselves for about five minutes until I let her go. Afterwards, my car decided to completely fuck itself up and I couldn't go anywhere for half an hour. I texted her asking to come back out, and we sat under the stars kissing and cuddling waiting for my car to not be a piece of shit so I could go home. My last relationship didn't even get as close to romantic or personal within the five months I was dating that person. Now that I experienced something so romantic (dramatic?), I just desire more of that experience and feel like I'm missing spending time with her. Should I keep a personal diary whenever I'm feeling this way? It's like I have a huge crush on her and things are going well, but an official "relationship" isn't agreed upon. [editline]13th June 2017[/editline] TL, DR: I want to talk about my experience with people, but I'm probably being annoying as shit. Read the last paragraph.

[QUOTE=BackSapper;52356661] TL, DR: I want to talk about my experience with people, but I'm probably being annoying as shit. Read the last paragraph.[/QUOTE] feel free to post that stuff here, that's what the thread is for don't worry about annoying people, if we want to read it we will and if we don't we won't.

Nah, i'm not talking bout you guys. Y'all are awesome. I've always came here to pour my heart out about my crushes, but it's something I don't want to fill up a whole thread with.

[QUOTE=Kabstrac;52356415]he got game. Or rather a good profile with good pics I live in moderately sized city and I was getting mad matches like farm is back in my single days[/QUOTE] I live in a small town of like 50k and I'm probably a 6/10 in attractiveness and have always used what I thought of as my best picture, and never get match. I'm just not made for casual sex, but genuine relationships don't seem to be any easier to get. Gotta work on getting a full time job and a car.

[QUOTE=Pascall;52356026]Oh no, I'm 25, about to be 26. I'm pretty old lol, I just took too long to choose a major in college so I'm a bit behind in terms of education. I'm at university right now, earning the secondary level of "degree" you can get. Two years of classes essentially adds up to an "Associates" degree and the second level is a Bachelor's. After that would be a Master's, then a PhD if your field has a doctorate program. I've had many jobs both paid and unpaid, have a lot of different qualifications in early education (ages 5-13), studio art, and various technical computer skills and my resume/CV reflects that. But here in America, a lot of well paid part time or full time jobs prefer a Bachelor's degree or higher and I'm still two semesters away from receiving that degree. It's a big barrier to getting a job that will pay me enough to afford health insurance. The job market here is vicious and brutal and being disabled and in school doesn't help that much either. I've basically got three huge obstacles preventing me from locking in a decent job.[/QUOTE] okay, so I assume people graduate at a national majority exam around 18, and then you choose what you want to do (like a university or college). Now you're an Associate and the next year you'll earn the Bachelor grade, am I right ? This job system seems rude, and given the fact that there's no medical financial help ([I]Sécurité Sociale[/I]) I understand your position. It's more practical to find a job where you live, because life won't cost you as much as in Boston. Knowing someone that can assure you a decent job might be the best solution for your right now. Surely you'd want to earn your bachelor before moving elsewhere ?

[QUOTE=Kabstrac;52357462]Any bigger cities nearby? And yes job + car does help a lot[/QUOTE] I'm an hour from Toronto and thirty minutes from a couple smallish cities, there is no proper transportation system in and out of this town so a car is definitely required, rent is very expensive here in the suburbs. Fortunately I work at one of the very few places in town with a union (Th union is kinda crap, but I could eventually make up to $25 an hour) just gotta get into a full time position. Still need a driver's license, too.

Americans graduate high school around 18 yeah. There's no exam for it though. If you got all your necessary classes done and you're not at a failing average, ya did it. Associates degrees take two years and a Bachelor's is another two years on top of that so it's SUPPOSED to be a four year degree. But lucky me, I've been in college since 2009 because I've hopped around in focus and wasn't sure what I wanted to do for several years. So I'm barely now about to get my Bachelor's in May of next year. Anyway yeah I need a job here for at least a while which probably won't come until after I get my degree. For now I have to settle on whatever scraps I can get. And I definitely don't know anyone who can get me a job, otherwise I would've asked lol. My mom works for a medical insurance company but I don't have any experience in the medical field and they want qualifications. My dad works for the Department of Defense so I can't exactly weasel my way in there either. I'm essentially between a rock and a hard place, really. Hard not to blame myself for it though.

[QUOTE=Pascall;52357597]Americans graduate high school around 18 yeah. There's no exam for it though. If you got all your necessary classes done and you're not at a failing average, ya did it. Associates degrees take two years and a Bachelor's is another two years on top of that so it's SUPPOSED to be a four year degree. But lucky me, I've been in college since 2009 because I've hopped around in focus and wasn't sure what I wanted to do for several years. So I'm barely now about to get my Bachelor's in May of next year. Anyway yeah I need a job here for at least a while which probably won't come until after I get my degree. For now I have to settle on whatever scraps I can get. And I definitely don't know anyone who can get me a job, otherwise I would've asked lol. My mom works for a medical insurance company but I don't have any experience in the medical field and they want qualifications. My dad works for the Department of Defense so I can't exactly weasel my way in there either. I'm essentially between a rock and a hard place, really. Hard not to blame myself for it though.[/QUOTE] Oh okay, here we've got Licence in 3 years, master with another 2 years, and 3 years after that to earn Doctorat (PhD) What's your field of qualification ? Surely you can find a part-time or so that could get you some money. I've done some research, and I found out that in the US the minimum salary for a +20yo student is about 7.25$/h while in a "in-service training" or internship (not clear to me which one is the translation of [I]stage[/I])

I have an Associates in Liberal Arts/General Studies and my Bachelor's will be in Studio Art. A part time would be fine for now and I DO have a part time that makes me $10 an hour but it's not a regular schedule and the work is very physical which I don't really have the strength for anymore. I only haven't quit because my job search so far has yielded no other options. I'm still looking though. I search at least three different sites that post leads for remote jobs, I check Reddit, Indeed, Monster, Glassdoor, and Snagajob almost daily. The job search wears on you. For the record, an insurance plan would cost me about $250 a month or more. I have to visit the doctor frequently because I get sick very often so I might even need a more expensive plan that offers more visits. I'm still learning how the marketplace works though.

[QUOTE=TheCrazyGoD;52356184]Got a little question, which will probably sound obvious to a lot but for me it's literally my first date with someone ever so I don't really know what to do myself. I have been talking to this girl for almost a month now, asked her out for a coffee a while ago, when we meet once college is done for both of us and stuff so the date won't be for some time anyway. I've caught a lot of feelings for her and I still haven't admitted it because I'm undecided whether it's best to admit them as soon as possible or around when the date takes place. I've checked up some guides over on wikihow which I was recommended to some time ago when I had my good old high school crushes but I never really considered them at the time, and now that I've seen a few guides, I'm still kinda mixed about it all. So like, is it best to admit feelings as soon as possible or around when the date is, potentially asking her out and anything else that could happen? I'm so scared I'm gonna fuck it up on my first try even though I'm bound to make mistakes somewhere and with a girl I've started getting a huge liking for.[/QUOTE] Don't go admitting any feelings as of yet fam You haven't even had a date yet. Basically just keep going on dates/meeting up, having fun and you will know if you click. It should just progress naturally after that, you can confess feelings through various means rather than directly

[QUOTE=BackSapper;52356661] TL, DR: I want to talk about my experience with people, but I'm probably being annoying as shit. Read the last paragraph.[/QUOTE] It might sound funny or insensitive, but I've come up with a guide to bitch about my problems to others during last summer when shit went down with my GF. 1) Try to look as sad as possible (considering the state I was, it's a given) 2) If you get asked whats up, try telling at least twice that you do not want to burden the person you're talking with because it's probably nothing, yet start looking more alarmed 3) Bitch about it 4) Do not bring it up EVER again unless brought up by the person you bitched to. But on a more serious note, if people ask whats wrong with you, tell your story, but don't be extra whiny. If they care about you, the questions about details will come, and it will smoothen up the conversation. Expressing your problems to others helps you [b]a lot[/b].

[QUOTE=Pascall;52357640]I have an Associates in Liberal Arts/General Studies and my Bachelor's will be in Studio Art. A part time would be fine for now and I DO have a part time that makes me $10 an hour but it's not a regular schedule and the work is very physical which I don't really have the strength for anymore. I only haven't quit because my job search so far has yielded no other options. I'm still looking though. I search at least three different sites that post leads for remote jobs, I check Reddit, Indeed, Monster, Glassdoor, and Snagajob almost daily. The job search wears on you. For the record, an insurance plan would cost me about $250 a month or more. I have to visit the doctor frequently because I get sick very often so I might even need a more expensive plan that offers more visits. I'm still learning how the marketplace works though.[/QUOTE] A remote job would be great for sure. But perhaps you check more websites

I mean all the others I listed are generally just for regular jobs instead of remote ones. Didn't list the sites I go to specifically for remote leads lol. But if I can find more job sites that don't just cross post leads from other websites I'll probably use that too.