Super Friendly Social and Love Advice v8 - Stop spamming her with texts. - General

[QUOTE=Daniel Smith;52357101]I live in a small town of like 50k and I'm probably a 6/10 in attractiveness and have always used what I thought of as my best picture, and never get match. I'm just not made for casual sex, but genuine relationships don't seem to be any easier to get. Gotta work on getting a full time job and a car.[/QUOTE] Make sure you have more than 1 picture tho. Like have a face shot plus a couple full body shots. When I first got a tinder I had only like 2 pics and they weren't that great so I ended up with like only 1 match over a long time span. Then I got a few really good pics: a couple full body and a couple face pics and since that I've gotten 13 matches in the past 3 weeks. If I see an attractive girl but she only has a face pic, I'll still usually swipe left because I can't help the feeling she's hiding something by not showing all of her. One face pic can be so deceiving to what they really are, especially if they use snapchat filters.

I wouldn't say superficial, you have to be physically attracted to someone for there to be chemistry, for lack of a better word

[QUOTE=Blazyd;52360742]Make sure you have more than 1 picture tho. Like have a face shot plus a couple full body shots. When I first got a tinder I had only like 2 pics and they weren't that great so I ended up with like only 1 match over a long time span. Then I got a few really good pics: a couple full body and a couple face pics and since that I've gotten 13 matches in the past 3 weeks.[/QUOTE] I do fortunately have really buff legs because I walk all the time but I also have a gut and skinny arms, it looks like three bodies in one. Gotta lay off the pop and start doing sit ups before I feel comfortable with full body shots. [QUOTE=Blazyd;52360742]If I see an attractive girl but she only has a face pic, I'll still usually swipe left because I can't help the feeling she's hiding something by not showing all of her. One face pic can be so deceiving to what they really are, especially if they use snapchat filters.[/QUOTE] That's true, It's annoying when a girl has a cute face in her main photo but ends up being waaaay overweight once you see more pics, I'll admit I'm a hypocrite.

It's been 2 to 3 years. Is there any harm in trying to reconnect with my ex?

Depends on how you guys broke up in the first place and also in what sort of situation your ex is in. Have they met someone since you guys split? Do they have kids? Are they working/going to school? Gotta make sure that you're not gonna poke your head in while they have a bunch of other stuff going on because then you likely won't be a huge priority.

[QUOTE=Pascall;52363254]Depends on how you guys broke up in the first place and also in what sort of situation your ex is in. Have they met someone since you guys split? Do they have kids? Are they working/going to school? Gotta make sure that you're not gonna poke your head in while they have a bunch of other stuff going on because then you likely won't be a huge priority.[/QUOTE] We broke up because we met online and got really close but in the end she lied about her age. I was 19 she was 16. At first I was fine with it but eventually my gut told me to leave so I did in the worst way possible by not saying anything and just cutting all communication. A few months later I tried reaching back to explain and at first she was okay but then out of nowhere she wanted nothing to do with me which I understood. I tried reaching out a few more times but the message was clear. Leaving her especially the way I did I honestly regret it so much. I really don't care if we go back to being in a relationship or not, I just want to be friends again. I haven't spoken to her in 2 or 3 years now so part of me thinks that she'll no longer hold that grudge but I'm still terrified and confused. I just dont know what to do. I don't know what she's doing at all now except that she's in Florence studying art for the summer.

Might have a little bit of risk involved since cutting all contact is a pretty shitty way of ending a relationship, though I kind of understand why you did it? It's a bit jarring to have someone lie about their age to you. But I'd say you could probably go for it. Don't go in with any real expectations though. She might talk to you, she might not.

Just hit the request button. The feel like you're jumping off a cliff is driving me nuts. I hate all this anxiety.

[QUOTE=Pascall;52355687]Is it strange to be broken up with someone and yet still not really want to seek anyone else out? My boyfriend and I broke up because he was moving a little too fast in terms of settling down, wanting me to move in with him and get married soon despite me not even having a proper job, finished school, or literally ever moved out of my parents house. I still have feelings for him but I just needed to take some time to finish all this shit I started and try to establish myself in the working world. I worry a little bit that he might decide he's ready to move on but I wouldn't be bitter or anything. ANYWAY I was just wondering if that was weird is all. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯[/QUOTE] I'm fairly similar at the moment. All that shit is on the backburner, haven't been in a serious relationship since I broke up with my ex of 4 years a bit shy of 2 years ago. It's fine to just focus on other things. [editline]15th June 2017[/editline] Woah there was another page there

I think that throughout my life I've tried my hardest to fail I have had no motivation to do anything for years now. I've barely studied what was required for school When i should have failed, and I've had a few occasions, i was always saved by their "kindness". In middle school where there was no basis to let me keep going, they still allowed me to go forward. Same a couple years back I believe what this amounted to is that until this fails me, i won't change the way i do things. The sad part is i am aware of it and am unable to find the strength to change: this only makes me suffer more Failure would make me responsible, but I can't fail because of my damn family and I am stuck in this situation

I have final job interview on monday and it's a game changer for me. If I pass: Everything stays as it is and life goes on. If I fail: I have to get out of rental property as I wont be able to afford it anymore (My savings are depleted since I've lost job) so I will go around friends/shelter places. I passed first two interviews for this job: Phone Screening and Technical Interview. On monday it's the last interview with HR about company values and I guess they want to see my personality. I have high doubts I will pass (I am used to assuming worst case scenarios), one of the hiring managers (who setup the last interview) said there is no preparation for me required besides read about companies values as we will go through it and that's about it. I guess I will read about values and remember to show the best I can be. It's scary and stressful as hell that 45 minutes of talking will determine my further life path. When I think about it and the more I think about it - I go insane and start to panic and shaking so I am literally sleeping, eating, watching TV and playing PC games (While I still can) to take my mind off it.

[QUOTE=arleitiss;52364877]I have final job interview on monday and it's a game changer for me. If I pass: Everything stays as it is and life goes on. If I fail: I have to get out of rental property as I wont be able to afford it anymore (My savings are depleted since I've lost job) so I will go around friends/shelter places. I passed first two interviews for this job: Phone Screening and Technical Interview. On monday it's the last interview with HR about company values and I guess they want to see my personality. I have high doubts I will pass (I am used to assuming worst case scenarios), one of the hiring managers (who setup the last interview) said there is no preparation for me required besides read about companies values as we will go through it and that's about it. I guess I will read about values and remember to show the best I can be. It's scary and stressful as hell that 45 minutes of talking will determine my further life path. When I think about it and the more I think about it - I go insane and start to panic and shaking so I am literally sleeping, eating, watching TV and playing PC games (While I still can) to take my mind off it.[/QUOTE] The best thing you can do for the culture and value fit interview is to relax and be nice, honest and open. You'll nail it, I'm sure. It's more of a formality than anything else - they just want to know if you're easy enough to get along with. So be easy to get along with and you'll be a-ok

Pretty sure she blocked me. It's been 3 years and I've never been able to get over this.

I've been taking a few ballroom lessons for a while just for something to do, I'm an odd man out. So the instructor invited someone out from this dance group she runs so I would have a partner, it just so happens that I ran into this girl a few weeks back and some dance in the garden thing. I know I'm overthinking this but I want to try asking her out for coffee or something. I'm interested in joining that dance club she's in but I'm afraid that if she shoots me down it might be awkward at the events. Even though if it doesn't workout I'm sure nothing bad would happen. This sounds bad writing this but as for asking her all I need to do is just ask her after the lesson if she would be interested in grabbing coffee or tea sometime?

[QUOTE=Branflakes;52371378]I've been taking a few ballroom lessons for a while just for something to do, I'm an odd man out. So the instructor invited someone out from this dance group she runs so I would have a partner, it just so happens that I ran into this girl a few weeks back and some dance in the garden thing. I know I'm overthinking this but I want to try asking her out for coffee or something. I'm interested in joining that dance club she's in but I'm afraid that if she shoots me down it might be awkward at the events. Even though if it doesn't workout I'm sure nothing bad would happen. This sounds bad writing this but as for asking her all I need to do is just ask her after the lesson if she would be interested in grabbing coffee or tea sometime?[/QUOTE] If she says yes, say when, like "what about Saturday afternoon?" Have some free time ready for a date otherwise you'll have to call her back, which might be difficult. I haven't understood everything but you might wanna think twice about joining her dance group, as you said it'll probably lead to awkward situation. See me talking about this kind of thing, I never date anyone x)

It's a group hosted by the dance instructor, the one girl happens to be in it too. If you were unsure what I meant?

You're both probably pretty mature people, if you ask her out for coffee like a normal person and she declines like a normal person, I'm sure it won't be a big deal. Just don't obsess over it, or make it a big deal. A casual 'Hey, would you like to grab coffee with me next sunday?' is enough

I try not to think about loneliness too much, it became a much smaller problem since I decided it would be for the best to be just friends with my ex, but sometimes I can't help but think that eventually I'll have to settle for someone who's too mature to be my perfect SO. It doesn't look like it's gonna happen in the near future, as I'm trying to focus on my career (aka finishing the damn uni and then maybe finding a non burger flipper job), but it will be a problem when I'm over 30. In Russia most girls are raised basically to find a wealthy enough man and settle with him, have kids and that's it. But I don't want that, I want to have dumb fun that I missed on when I was a teen. But by this age most girls have had enough and want different things from life. To hell with all this settling. But the only alternative is being alone

Where can you rank old high school mates if they don't tell you about a High school reunion until they post pics of it the next day? Next to garbage? Chum? Literal shitheads? To think I called them cool and thought that we had things going in our classes and our history. At least my college buddies don't leave me out of parties or never bother to call. I swear those kids are like walking child prodigies with fake shining smiles 24/7.

[QUOTE=arleitiss;52364877]I have final job interview on monday and it's a game changer for me. If I pass: Everything stays as it is and life goes on. If I fail: I have to get out of rental property as I wont be able to afford it anymore (My savings are depleted since I've lost job) so I will go around friends/shelter places. I passed first two interviews for this job: Phone Screening and Technical Interview. On monday it's the last interview with HR about company values and I guess they want to see my personality. I have high doubts I will pass (I am used to assuming worst case scenarios), one of the hiring managers (who setup the last interview) said there is no preparation for me required besides read about companies values as we will go through it and that's about it. I guess I will read about values and remember to show the best I can be. It's scary and stressful as hell that 45 minutes of talking will determine my further life path. When I think about it and the more I think about it - I go insane and start to panic and shaking so I am literally sleeping, eating, watching TV and playing PC games (While I still can) to take my mind off it.[/QUOTE] Did the interview. I had two interviews actually, one with hiring manager and one with HR. Hiring Manager interview as kind of ez, just went through my CV with previous experiences, knowledge and what I am interested in learning in future or where I am interested to take my career, she seemed quite pleased with answers. 2nd interview was with HR, this one was a bit more trickier, mind games to be more precise. She went through my personality and how would I handle different problems, she also asked about companies values or what do I know about it (I learned about its values last night) I knew I will be asked about companies values so prior to that question I answered all questions in a way that would indicate that I belong and match companies values (such as - Be open minded to other peoples ideas) so I answered questions with real examples from my past experience and in the end she said: When you were telling me about Y it sounded a lot like you're open minded person to other peoples ideas so I would say I aced companies values and my personality part. Your 3 strongest qualities: Responsiveness/Helpfulness - I am always responsive to emails and respond to them as soon as possible, I always help out if I can and gave examples (Back in college people always asked me about Java and PHP as I knew them well so I always helped people) Perfectionism - I pay attention to detail and always seek excellence to it's absolute extend. Technical Curiosity - I am always curious to experiment with different code to see outcome and differences in terms of performance. Gave example where I programmed CSGO integration with my home lighting kit which changed/lit my house lights based on game situations so she seemed quite impressed by that. And many more examples where my curiosity lead to learning. 1 Weakness: Perfectionism - While good but also tends to make me get obsessed with one problem and not let it go until I finish it. and one more just to be fair as I've used perfectionism in strenghts, 2nd weakness : {I forgot what I said here but it was reasonable and she was pleased with answer} Overall it seems that it went well, she said that they both will submit their review to Recruiter in company and will let me know within a week. 1st Interview: hone Screening. 2nd Test: Online programming test (ez) 3rd Test: IQ Test Online (ez-ish) 4th Interview: Technical Interview (theoretical around programming) Today: 5th Interview: Interview with hiring manager. 6th Interview: Interview with HR. First 4 are pass (otherwise I wouldn't have reached 5th and 6th) So yeah, overall it took 2 hours. Kind of funny to remember when in school we were told interviews in real world will take 2-3 hours and it seemed like OMFG wtf, what do you talk about for 2-3 hours? In reality - it's fucking ez to talk about things you know and enjoy for 2-3 hours.

whoa, can't believe this thread is still kicking. i'm aries, used to be active from like 2008 to 2012, when mikfoz was still a guy and TH89 wrote songs about raptors and - god help us - pony swag. It's crazy to think 5 years have gone by like nothing. i may pop in and chat more, i may not. i basically just wanted to say how cool it is checking my old account and seeing communities like this still thriving with one or two familiar names still connecting. i signed up for facepunch nearly a decade ago, when i was 14, and the fact it's still a thing has blown my mind. you're all wonderful people and without you facepunch is nothing. have a great day, guys and gals.

I'm getting too desensitized to rejection. Okay, so I'm living in Scotland, I'm 23, never had a relationship before, and I just don't really interact much with people. It's mostly because I don't have much in common with them, but I do enjoy other people's companies, I try to be humble and cheery, but I don't really start anything. So I met someone online, who is also in Scotland, and we really liked each other. We had almost everything in common. Though it only lasted a couple of days, I felt like my connection with this one person has been supreme and powerful. I got distressed yesterday when they weren't answering to me on Discord, I had to ask someone else to send a message to them to check on them - and apparently it shit the bed and they didn't get any messages from me because the servers are prone to do that, or they've ignored me. So they blocked me this morning. Now I'm feeling hurt from the fact that I couldn't leave a goodbye and I was looking for some people to leave a message from me to them, but I think I'm just going to stop and drop it. The awful thing is, again, I saw this coming and I don't feel in as much pain from the fact that they don't want to hear from me anymore. But then again, there is an odd feeling in my chest that's gnawing at me. I don't know anymore though, I'm just tired and confused now.

[QUOTE=GlebGuy;52381144]I'm getting too desensitized to rejection. Okay, so I'm living in Scotland, I'm 23, never had a relationship before, and I just don't really interact much with people. It's mostly because I don't have much in common with them, but I do enjoy other people's companies, I try to be humble and cheery, but I don't really start anything. So I met someone online, who is also in Scotland, and we really liked each other. We had almost everything in common. Though it only lasted a couple of days, I felt like my connection with this one person has been supreme and powerful. I got distressed yesterday when they weren't answering to me on Discord, I had to ask someone else to send a message to them to check on them - and apparently it shit the bed and they didn't get any messages from me because the servers are prone to do that, or they've ignored me. So they blocked me this morning. Now I'm feeling hurt from the fact that I couldn't leave a goodbye and I was looking for some people to leave a message from me to them, but I think I'm just going to stop and drop it. The awful thing is, again, I saw this coming and I don't feel in as much pain from the fact that they don't want to hear from me anymore. But then again, there is an odd feeling in my chest that's gnawing at me. I don't know anymore though, I'm just tired and confused now.[/QUOTE] If someone doesn't want to talk to you why would you think using an intermediary is a good idea?

[QUOTE=plunger435;52381159]If someone doesn't want to talk to you why would you think using an intermediary is a good idea?[/QUOTE] I only wanted to leave one last message for them. I wanted them to know that I wish for them the best of things, good luck and fortune. I really care for them and the least I would want is for them to know, to think about those words for only one second and that's it. Edit: In any case, I'm dropping that now.

[QUOTE=GlebGuy;52381171]I only wanted to leave one last message for them. I wanted them to know that I wish for them the best of things, good luck and fortune. I really care for them and the least I would want is for them to know, to think about those words for only one second and that's it. Edit: In any case, I'm dropping that now.[/QUOTE] It's nice sentiment, but if it's at the point where they're blocking you all that will come across as is creepy

Looking at engagement rings as we speak. Originally I was to be the last one to even find a girlfriend (typical lonely nerd who always sat infront of the computer, never ever went out, exercised or got a job until like 21) out of my siblings. And now I have an excellent permanent job, I'm healthy, I have a loving girlfriend while my siblings struggle with online dating and steady jobs. Life sure changes, huh? I'm looking forward to my mom passing out. :v:

[QUOTE=GlebGuy;52381171]I only wanted to leave one last message for them. I wanted them to know that I wish for them the best of things, good luck and fortune. I really care for them and the least I would want is for them to know, to think about those words for only one second and that's it. Edit: In any case, I'm dropping that now.[/QUOTE] I know exactly how you feel. I've been trying to find a way to leave a last message to someone I need to get away from for months now. They haven't blocked me or anything but it's still a pretty similar situation. So anyways, Is it wrong that I don't feel compelled at all to get into a relationship? There's plenty of stuff that's been turning me away from that recently. I'm 20 years old now and I never been in a relationship and honestly I don't really care. I have been chained so long to one person in my life that all the "magic" that could exist in a potential relationship kinda just faded away. I don't see it anymore as a MUST in my life. I even made a tinder account sometime ago but never really bothered to check again after a while. Kinda didn't care for it anymore. Maybe I should force myself to start dating even thought I don't really feel like it? I get into a lot of social situations nowadays with friends but never really met another girl that made me feel that "spark" again. I guess just got tired of the whole thing after I grew older. Which I will admit is something I have been wanting for a long time now.

[QUOTE=SoftHearted;52381327]I know exactly how you feel. I've been trying to find a way to leave a last message to someone I need to get away from for months now. They haven't blocked me or anything but it's still a pretty similar situation. So anyways, Is it wrong that I don't feel compelled at all to get into a relationship? There's plenty of stuff that's been turning me away from that recently. I'm 20 years old now and I never been in a relationship and honestly I don't really care. I have been chained so long to one person in my life that all the "magic" that could exist in a potential relationship kinda just faded away. I don't see it anymore as a MUST in my life. I even made a tinder account sometime ago but never really bothered to check again after a while. Kinda didn't care for it anymore. Maybe I should force myself to start dating even thought I don't really feel like it? I get into a lot of social situations nowadays with friends but never really met another girl that made me feel that "spark" again. I guess just got tired of the whole thing after I grew older. Which I will admit is something I have been wanting for a long time now.[/QUOTE] If you don't feel it, don't pursue it. That's all I can tell you. If you'll force yourself to love and date someone, it will only end in tears.

I need a little advice. Recently a girl from high school I never talked to much sort of connected with me many years later through mutual friends. My group of friends and hers got everyone together for a hang out and that's where her and I began talking. We got to know each other and now just recently it escalated into physical territory. Thing is I'm concerned with how I'm approaching this, because right now I don't know what I'm feeling about her. My mind is in a haze about the whole thing, like I'm unsure of myself. She has a great personality and we click on a lot of things but it's like at the back of my mind I feel like I'm not attracted to her, and I'm not feeling a spark or anything. I don't know what the Hell's wrong with me or what I should do about it. I don't want to string this girl along and then absolutely crush her feelings. My last ex did that to me and I cannot do that to someone else.

Is it odd that I'm considering asking someone out who I have no common interests with? We seem to get along really well anyway.