Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women"
5,001 replies, posted
Also one of the biggest factors is that she told me we would get back together eventually when she did break up with me. For a couple weeks before she started with the next dude she would come over, hang out, watch movies, and have sex and shit. And then when it did happen it was so cut and dry I started to get really bad. I guess those two weeks after we broke up were really unhealthy for me.
[QUOTE=Kabstrac;51550029]
Just ask her "Hey, I am just wondering how you'd feel about us dating?" Like seriously be straight up about it. You can fluff it up a bit and say that you're fine with just continuing as friends but you think there's potential and you just want to see where you stand in her eyes. That's how I would do it and how I have done it in the past (with success)[/QUOTE]
I think that's the only option I really have to find out, but I'm going to hold off till after the holiday stress.
[QUOTE=MrDestroyer;51556803]Also one of the biggest factors is that she told me we would get back together eventually when she did break up with me. For a couple weeks before she started with the next dude she would come over, hang out, watch movies, and have sex and shit. And then when it did happen it was so cut and dry I started to get really bad. I guess those two weeks after we broke up were really unhealthy for me.[/QUOTE]
She really strung you along eh?
You need to go no contact, period. No coming to her rescue, no checking up ect.
Reading a lot of these stories reminds me of a situation I was in about 2 years ago. Girlfriend of almost 4 years broke up with me out of the blue - she changed almost entirely (from my point of view, I'm sure she'd thought of it before) overnight. 9 that morning, it was the usual goodmornings and I love yous, 11AM she breaks up with me over the phone. Following a relationship with no fighting and very few problems.
My best piece of advice for dealing with something like this is to cut all contact. It doesn't even mean unfriending/blocking the person, but make sure that nothing they do can wiggle into your life unless they specifically seek you out. Unsubscribe to all their social media, etc. And then - if you can't rely on yourself to do this or they won't leave you alone - block/unfriend them.
Good relationships are founded on effort and communication. When someone gets up and leaves like that, they are clearly lacking on both of those fronts. It is not your job to make up for them, or go after them. As much as it hurts, in a situation like that, they've bailed on you, not the other way around. It doesn't make them bad people, relationships end this way for all kinds of reasons, but in the end that shit's on them. Clean up your life and move on without them as best you can, and - this is important - [I]if they did it in the first place, it was probably going to happen sooner or later anyway.[/I] Best to get "getting over them" over with and learn from it. From here, I feel like everyone deals with it differently. For me, I was heartbroken for a about a month - I maintained no contact, but it killed me. After that (and, funnily enough, right around the time she tried reaching out to me to talk), the nature of everything that happened started to sink in. I realized that I was willing to put much more effort into that relationship than she was, and a couple of other less than fantastic things about how she did things. I got [I]mad[/I], and cut contact completely for about a year to avoid being a dick.
2 years later and we get lunch sometimes. I've been in a different relationship for about a year now which is better in just about every way, and I've grown a lot. Moral of the story, these things absolutely SUCK, and there is nothing I can say/do to lessen the pain for any of you going through it. But, with time, whether it's weeks/months/years, you grow and heal. I whole-heartedly believe that these sorts of things almost always turn out for the best in the end too.
Hopefully the perspective from someone who's been into/out of that shit helps.
This may not have anything to do with the topic but it's both strange and cool that my grandparents have been married for 70 years. (They married young)
[QUOTE=Bucketboy;51560734]This may not have anything to do with the topic but it's both strange and cool that my grandparents have been married for 70 years. (They married young)[/QUOTE]
If both are alive, how old are they?
[QUOTE=Maksie99;51560918]If both are alive, how old are they?[/QUOTE]
They are alive and are in their late 80s.
[QUOTE=Bucketboy;51561231]They are alive and are in their late 80s.[/QUOTE]
So married before 20?
I think he was 17 And she was 15 yo. They ran away together and got married.
[QUOTE=Bucketboy;51561504]I think he was 17 And she was 15 yo. They ran away together and got married.[/QUOTE]
Oh the times where that stuff could work
And people wanted to anyways
Simpler times (?)
Guys, I could really use some advice.
So after many years of being single I've tried my hand at online dating, I've been talking with somebody and we've agreed to meet up for a date, one of the initial bumps I'm picking up is that she's shy - which is understandable but I'm not the greatest conversations on the first meetups.
The only reason I say this is that I'm writing a short paragraph of information on the stuff I like asking open questions etc, and I'm getting a sentence or two back, even when it's coming to organising the date itself. (normally I'd take this as a sign of disinterest but the opening line of her profile is "I'm shy" which is the only thing keeping me trying)
I'm thinking of just meeting up for a coffee or something for the first date but if we're both not great at conversations I think we might need a "distraction" as it were (take a tour of somewhere or something?). Any tips for keeping the conversation going on the first meetup? Any suggestions for how to tread carefully and not scare her off?
[QUOTE=A Glitch;51563199]Guys, I could really use some advice.
So after many years of being single I've tried my hand at online dating, I've been talking with somebody and we've agreed to meet up for a date, one of the initial bumps I'm picking up is that she's shy - which is understandable but I'm not the greatest conversations on the first meetups.
The only reason I say this is that I'm writing a short paragraph of information on the stuff I like asking open questions etc, and I'm getting a sentence or two back, even when it's coming to organising the date itself. (normally I'd take this as a sign of disinterest but the opening line of her profile is "I'm shy" which is the only thing keeping me trying)
I'm thinking of just meeting up for a coffee or something for the first date but if we're both not great at conversations I think we might need a "distraction" as it were (take a of somewhere or something?). Any tips for keeping the conversation going on the first meetup? Any suggestions for how to tread carefully and not scare her off?[/QUOTE]
At what point is she using the "shy" part as a crutch vs being actually interested?
However, if you think it's just her being shy, then take her somewhere conversation easily flows because it's not centered. Is there a board game cafe or something around you? Then it centers on the games instead of the possible silence.
Go somewhere where there's something for you two to actively be doing. Mini-golf, bowling, laser tag, etc.
You can still have fun with each other, still have conversation, but it also offers an alternative focus. It's also just a fun thing in case the actual chemistry itself isn't there. You can still have fun doing whatever it is that you're doing.
Just take it easy and don't be overly competitive or anything.
Dont be worried about silence just because there's a gap in the conversation doesn't mean you've gotta go out your way to fill it.
[QUOTE=A Glitch;51563199]Guys, I could really use some advice.
So after many years of being single I've tried my hand at online dating, I've been talking with somebody and we've agreed to meet up for a date, one of the initial bumps I'm picking up is that she's shy - which is understandable but I'm not the greatest conversations on the first meetups.
The only reason I say this is that I'm writing a short paragraph of information on the stuff I like asking open questions etc, and I'm getting a sentence or two back, even when it's coming to organising the date itself. (normally I'd take this as a sign of disinterest but the opening line of her profile is "I'm shy" which is the only thing keeping me trying)
I'm thinking of just meeting up for a coffee or something for the first date but if we're both not great at conversations I think we might need a "distraction" as it were (take a tour of somewhere or something?). Any tips for keeping the conversation going on the first meetup? Any suggestions for how to tread carefully and not scare her off?[/QUOTE]
You need to simply plow through it and try to loosen your lips as much as possible. As somebody who has dated and fucked many girls through services such as OkCupid and the likes, I'd say keeping the conversation going, with the use of bullshit such as "future aspirations/interests/getting to know one another" should suffice.
No joke minigolf is the best. Make a bet on it. "If I win at minigolf I get to have my way with you".
Then practice the whole week beforehand so you can destroy her.
I'm half joking as that worked for me once, and only once but minigolf or bowling are legit life savers top quality activities for first dates, as long as you actually enjoy them.
Mainly because I'm a petty man and I love to be overly competitive about something completely trivial on the first date. If they roll with and are totally okay with me being a cunt over something petty then I know they're sweet.
people who play games for fun disgust me, i play for 2 reasons:
-to get mad
-to win
any other reason and you are scum casuals
I'm disgustingly competitive and my girlfriend hates it. "it's not a competition" is the surefire way of identifying the loser.
Minigolf or bowling is a great idea though, you can shoot the shit while playing either and say "no barriers please" and look like a cool dude.
Are there any other sick games like minigolf and bowling to play? Laser tag seems like a close match too but that's about all I can think of.
Foosball is bad-ass but I couldn't play pool to save my life. Both are fair responses though.
Oh my first date with my girlfriend we went to Boomer's and played mini golf (she destroyed me) and video games (she also destroyed me)
I was so proud
First date with my current GF was going to a theme park with a good friend and his date who is coincidentally a good friend of my GF. I asked her out so smoothly that neither of us realized it was a date until the end.
Can't remember my first date with my first girlfriend, I asked her to prom and she split up with me before we went to that, we got photos together but that was it. First proper date was probably dinner somewhere.
First date with my second girlfriend was dinner out at a place that had just opened up here that turned out to be the exact same as the place that was there before it, but redecorated and rebranded.
There isn't much to do here.
[QUOTE=dcalde78;51574503]
There isn't much to do here.[/QUOTE]
go hiking?
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;51580290]go hiking?[/QUOTE]
It's funny, every time I took my ex hiking she wanted to turn around halfway up the trail. There was this one time we went for a hike up in Oregon and she made it all of .3 miles before turning around because "it's too hot".
Ironically she didn't view hiking or driving around the state as dates, either.
Go hiking, bring a blanket and find a nice secluded tree
Then do some stuff
First date with my current girlfriend was getting drunk together
10/10
[QUOTE=ScoutKing;51580290]go hiking?[/QUOTE]
there's a real narrow window for that kind of shit here. there's some good nature to be seen but the weather usually puts a stop to it.
[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;51581206]First date with my current girlfriend was getting drunk together
10/10[/QUOTE]
getting drunk with someone can be an incredible way to get to know them if you arent a creep
[editline]25th December 2016[/editline]
ive taken girls to the pub on dates before which sounds rough but you just get a few pints in loosten up the atmosphere and have a great convo
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