Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

I really like this one girl and her friend recommends that I don't ask her on a date so I haven't yet. However, I just really am attracted to her and it's difficult being around her for me because I'm afraid that I might mess up somehow and cause her to dislike me. The weird thing is that this girl isn't so conventionally pretty, maybe like a 6/7 out of 10 but her personality makes her a 10/10 for me. It's very rare to see a person who is actually genuine and I admire her greatly for it. I confessed this to her while I was drunk a few nights ago (we were sitting together and talking about stuff, it wasn't something like just telling her out of the blue) and I was tearing up for some reason. reading over this it's a bit overdramatic but she's honestly just very special to me and I wish I could be half the person she is. I seriously don't get what attracts me so much to her because while her personality is wonderful, she's opposite my political views. I mean, she owns several bracelets with "Smash the Patriarchy" engraved on them and she's called me out for mansplaining before but I'm somehow fine with that even though if anyone else had done that, I would have been a bit annoyed. I decided not to ask her on a date until May or so so I can get in shape and otherwise improve myself for her and also to wait to see if this is a legitimate love or just a case of a really strong crush. Does this seem like a good plan or not?

Yikes, $4000 for a private event at the burlesque theater. Bollocks to that idea, I guess!

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;51739455]Yikes, $4000 for a private event at the burlesque theater. Bollocks to that idea, I guess![/QUOTE] Maybe have the wedding in a public park or something like that?

Yeah, we'll have to look into some options. Wary about having an outdoor wedding, though. Inclement weather could ruin the whole thing if we've got nowhere to take cover.

[QUOTE=Dirty_Ape;51728329]Do you mean she just plays it off as if it never happened? That's very Costanza of her. [/QUOTE] Ha, yeah that's pretty much what's going on. I'm being Costanza'd and it's completely thrown me for a loop. I've never experienced anything like this before. I suppose the best thing to do here is have a serious discussion about it, like mature adults. But it's still pretty funny in a way.

[QUOTE=Svinnik;51739421]I really like this one girl and her friend recommends that I don't ask her on a date so I haven't yet. However, I just really am attracted to her and it's difficult being around her for me because I'm afraid that I might mess up somehow and cause her to dislike me. The weird thing is that this girl isn't so conventionally pretty, maybe like a 6/7 out of 10 but her personality makes her a 10/10 for me. It's very rare to see a person who is actually genuine and I admire her greatly for it. I confessed this to her while I was drunk a few nights ago (we were sitting together and talking about stuff, it wasn't something like just telling her out of the blue) and I was tearing up for some reason. reading over this it's a bit overdramatic but she's honestly just very special to me and I wish I could be half the person she is. I seriously don't get what attracts me so much to her because while her personality is wonderful, she's opposite my political views. I mean, she owns several bracelets with "Smash the Patriarchy" engraved on them and she's called me out for mansplaining before but I'm somehow fine with that even though if anyone else had done that, I would have been a bit annoyed. I decided not to ask her on a date until May or so so I can get in shape and otherwise improve myself for her and also to wait to see if this is a legitimate love or just a case of a really strong crush. Does this seem like a good plan or not?[/QUOTE] Seems good to me, seeking to improve yourself is gonna be beneficial regardless of whether it will work out with this particular girl or not, both personally and when it comes to finding a mate. Being proactive is seen as an attractive trait to pretty much everyone. Just keep in mind that it won't be for nothing even if she turns out not to be interested, you'll have plenty of other opportunities (unless you're studying IT or engineering but that's another story.)

I didn't know there was such a thing as a fancy barn. The only barn-owner I know's barn is full of donkey turds.

She might just be uncomfortable with it for some other reason altogether, it's hard to know and probably best not to give it too much deep thought. If she doesn't like it, she doesn't like it, and trying to explore it or understand why probably won't make things any better. You can't talk to every person about every subject.

people who ghost are bad. added a friend of a friend i met a few months back on facebook last week, started shooting the shit, asked her if she wanted to grab dinner earlier in the week, got a "i would say yes, but car shopping", nothing after that and that was tuesday.

Long distance relationships are hard. Especially when you go to the bar almost every weekend.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51744222]Yeah, a friend of mine had one in a barn and it was just beautiful. "Rustic" they called it. [t]https://wwcdn.weddingwire.com/vendor/770001_775000/771017/thumbnails/800x800_1475574108100-florida-rustic-barn-weddings-009.jpg[/t] Something like this[/QUOTE] We had my senior prom in one of those -- they're very cool if you can find a spacious one.

[QUOTE=Pascall;51711781]Met my current boyfriend on there and we're talking about marriage at this point so I'd say it works fairly well. It just takes some persistence and some sifting through the weird people.[/QUOTE] Have any tips for guys on cupid?

What's an acceptable age gap? I've never really had this issue come up for me personally before, I'm 21 and have recently been getting to know a cool chick in a new circle of friends.. Was pretty happy with how things were going but just found out shes only 18 which seems a bit weird to me. I had assumed she was like 19-20. Not really sure how to feel about it but leaning pretty heavy towards backing off, if only out of.. I don't know, unspoken social rules?

[QUOTE=srobins;51747567]What's an acceptable age gap? I've never really had this issue come up for me personally before, I'm 21 and have recently been getting to know a cool chick in a new circle of friends.. Was pretty happy with how things were going but just found out shes only 18 which seems a bit weird to me. I had assumed she was like 19-20. Not really sure how to feel about it but leaning pretty heavy towards backing off, if only out of.. I don't know, unspoken social rules?[/QUOTE] 21-18 doesn't seem like too much of an age gap to me. Might be different for Americans though, I don't know. [editline]29th January 2017[/editline] Some people go by a rule that goes something like "half your age plus seven" as the minimum. Works alright for most ages IMO.

21 and 18 is alright, imo. That's only three years.

I guess I'm just a little iffy because we gave my buddy a lot of shit for dating a 17 year old when he was 20, but to be fair she was a bit.. Like, you could tell she was 17 after speaking with her, if that makes sense :v:

Would be a little weirder if you were younger, admittedly. Like if you were eighteen and she was fifteen. Age difference matters less between people the older they get. You wouldn't think twice about a 57 and a 60 year old. Just depends on context. 17 and 20 isn't too awful either, but I think high school student x college student can sometimes be hard to balance considering the vastly different perspectives even between high school seniors and college freshmen. But I think 18 - 21 is a good area to be in. No worries.

half your age plus seven is a decent rule but there are some ages where it's more okay than others for example 20 gives you 17, but 18 gives you 15, which is weird "half your age plus seven, provided the sum is above 17" is a better rule, 18 if you're above 21 granted, the older you get the weirder that gets. 40 dating 27 is a little weird

[QUOTE=E = MC Hammer;51747774]half your age plus seven is a decent rule but there are some ages where it's more okay than others for example 20 gives you 17, but 18 gives you 15, which is weird "half your age plus seven, provided the sum is above 17" is a better rule, 18 if you're above 21 granted, the older you get the weirder that gets. 40 dating 27 is a little weird[/QUOTE] 18 gives you 16 though? Bit on the limit but not as weird as 15. 17 gives 16 too provided you round up, and 16 gives 15. Seems rather well balanced to me.

my one problem with that specific gap is you're crossing legal drinking age

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;51747815]my one problem with that specific gap is you're crossing legal drinking age[/QUOTE] what's the issue teens start drinking a lot earlier and once they can legally do so they either cool it down (because it's not taboo) or they become borracho for life, but that's a small minority

[QUOTE=SebiWarrior;51747869]what's the issue teens start drinking a lot earlier and once they can legally do so they either cool it down (because it's not taboo) or they become borracho for life, but that's a small minority[/QUOTE] "hey wanna go out with some friends to a bar?" "oh"

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;51747815]my one problem with that specific gap is you're crossing legal drinking age[/QUOTE] As if a 21 years old limit made sense. Teens can drive huge-ass SUVs and use shotguns but god forbid they drink shitty beer.

Age wise I've honestly found it easier getting along with 18 and 19 year old girls at when I was 20-23 (24 and single now). Part of it came down to opportunity, but no one ever felt or complained it was weird. Course, life perspective can be fairly different, and so I've been writing off girls those age more and more as I get older. I look at it as them having a bit too many variables, they may move, might drastically change personality, etc. Always exceptions, but that's my general experience. [QUOTE=StrawberryClock;51711660]Anybody got any success using shit like OkCupid?[/QUOTE] I know this was about 6 days ago, but figured I'd share anyway. My perspective is I had low success. I only met and dated 1 girl, which only lasted about 4.5-5 months. I've gotten probably 15-20 number, but no dates after that. I also seemed to get more messages, ratings, profile views, etc. when I was younger and my profile wasn't as well thought-out. Even with constant effort and improvements to my profile, generally being more older and mature, and better approaches, I really didn't get much out of it. I blame the area I live in, it seems to be kind of low on my type/match. Theres always a higher amount of matches in towns/cities outside of my practical dating radius, towns like Boston and Concord. Still easily traveled to, but requires extra planning to make use of limited dating time. That's why I try to avoid girls farther than 30mins away, just starts to become impractical. But yeah, I liked how it gave you a match %, really changed how I look at people. Even though their system isn't perfect, it does get you in the ballpark, pending you and your match answered similar, high priority questions. It certainly seems better than Plenty Of Fish. Sometimes I've considered paid sites, but like I said my area comes off as hit or miss, so I always feel it will quickly turn in to a wasted expense.

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;51747874]"hey wanna go out with some friends to a bar?" "oh"[/QUOTE] again, dont see the issue me and my 18yo pals go drinking with 16yo girls, no problem of any sort so far

[QUOTE=SebiWarrior;51747896]again, dont see the issue me and my 18yo pals go drinking with 16yo girls, no problem of any sort so far[/QUOTE] <21 isn't allowed in bars in the US, you know that right

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;51747898]<21 isn't allowed in bars in the US, you know that right[/QUOTE] Going to bars as a major social aspect depends on where you live.

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;51747898]<21 isn't allowed in bars in the US, you know that right[/QUOTE] <18 aren't here, but two thirds of the time no bar here will be that anal about underage customers

[QUOTE=Zeb Brown;51745602]Have any tips for guys on cupid?[/QUOTE] Missed this earlier but from what I've noticed: - Don't open with something weird but also don't just say "hi". I had at least 30 "hi" or "hello" messages a day and I ignored all of them. - Don't get weirdly personal or stupid. Had a guy tell me I looked like someone who liked to be slapped. Take a guess about whether or not I messaged him back lol. - Be unique but don't only talk about yourself. You're messaging her to get to know her. Maybe share a little tidbit about yourself to relate back to her interests. - Be real. Don't fluff yourself up as some kind of hot shot or player or smooth talker if you aren't one. Just be relaxed and chill and you'll come across as more interesting than guys who are trying to call a girl a "lil mama" or some garbage like that. - Have good pictures! If your pictures suck, chances are, a girl isn't even gonna bother. I recommend outdoor pictures, pictures with friends, pictures with PETS were a huge plus for me since I love animals lol, and well lit pictures that aren't taken in a bathroom are all good. Have plenty of them! - Answer the little questions that OkCupid lets you answer. Those help when you're looking for matches and they help the girls figure out what you have in common and what you don't. - Don't rush into a first meeting. It's always good to talk for maybe a few days or a week before trying to set up a date. Some people are a little skittish about meeting right away. Others aren't! But it's always better to err on the side of caution imo. - Have a good bio but don't word vomit. A nice succinct summary for each little section with maybe 2-3 sentences is ideal! - Don't fucking put your computer as your most important thing to you in that section. Can't tell you how many times people put some dumb nonsense in that little "priority" list. I've always been more interested in people who put cool things like traveling or family or friends, etc. Something a little more in depth. If your computer really is your number one priority then at least don't be so blatant about it up front lol. Give yourself some credit. THAT'S all I can think of right now but if you guys need help building an OkCupid profile I'm always down to help people sorta buff theirs up, so to speak. Just get at me.

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;51747874]"hey wanna go out with some friends to a bar?" "oh"[/QUOTE] I really can't stand bar life anyway, much prefer private parties so that's not really even on my radar. I've gone bar hopping like 2-3 times with my buddies and each time I find myself just bored wishing I was somewhere else.