Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

[QUOTE=_Axel;51781746]My GF is also worried about the pose, she says it can be super painful. Also risks of infection, and having to wait 3 months before removing it. Is that accurate?[/QUOTE] Never heard about risks of infection or a 3 month wait on removal but I never considered getting mine removed anyway. Mine hurt like an absolute bitch for my first few periods with it but it gets better over time. Menstrual cramps get worse and I sometimes get cramps after sex. I think some positions used to cause pain for me as well. I rarely notice pain from it anymore. All that said, I think it's worth the 12 years of not having to worry about pregnancy.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51781766]Never heard about risks of infection or a 3 month wait on removal but I never considered getting mine removed anyway. Mine hurt like an absolute bitch for my first few periods with it but it gets better over time. Menstrual cramps get worse and I sometimes get cramps after sex. I think some positions used to cause pain for me as well. I rarely notice pain from it anymore. All that said, I think it's worth the 12 years of not having to worry about pregnancy.[/QUOTE] Yeah, that's the reason we're looking into it. The pill would have been a viable alternative but she keeps forgetting to take it... Is the reduced pain over time an actual reduction in pain or is it just due to getting used to it?

[QUOTE=_Axel;51781808]Is the reduced pain over time an actual reduction in pain or is it just due to getting used to it?[/QUOTE] I'd say it's the same thing. I would recommend it if she's willing to endure some pain and discomfort for the first few months. It's worse for some women than others.

[QUOTE=_Axel;51781808]Yeah, that's the reason we're looking into it. The pill would have been a viable alternative but she keeps forgetting to take it... Is the reduced pain over time an actual reduction in pain or is it just due to getting used to it?[/QUOTE] Isn't there an arm implant she can get?

right this isn't deep advice or anything, just dunno the best way to handle this lol so the girl I'm seeing currently was going to come to mine this weekend and I was going to cook dinner, and we'd said it'd be a kinda valentinesy day thing. Sadly, a family thing popped up so she won't be able to make it, but instead we've agreed I'll go over this sunday and we'll do something during the day, and she said she'd like to come over for the dinner the weekend after (we live in different towns but its not that far) I'm obvs going to give her something for valentines day on this sunday when I see her, but my only worry is that since our original plan was to do dinner which is rescheduled to the next week, that if she was going to get me something she'd do it then and not this sunday, and while I really don't mind even if she didn't get me anything, I just worry that she'd feel bad if I turned up with something this week and she didn't have anything? I mean that's just how I'd feel were it the other way round, so idk how best to handle it so that nothing awkward happens.

Just go with the flow dude, can't overthink every situatoin too much. If she feels awkward because she didn't have anything, assure her it's okay. Just do what you was planning to with the start and see what happens.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51781766]Never heard about risks of infection or a 3 month wait on removal but I never considered getting mine removed anyway. Mine hurt like an absolute bitch for my first few periods with it but it gets better over time. Menstrual cramps get worse and I sometimes get cramps after sex. I think some positions used to cause pain for me as well. I rarely notice pain from it anymore. [I]All that said, I think it's worth the 12 years of not having to worry about pregnancy.[/I][/QUOTE] Wait, what? I thought IUD's only lasted for like 5 years tops?

[QUOTE=healthpoint;51785723]Wait, what? I thought IUD's only lasted for like 5 years tops?[/QUOTE] There are two kinds. Mirena is the one that releases hormones and it lasts about 5-7 years IIRC. I have Paragard which is a copper IUD and lasts about 12 years. [QUOTE=Svinnik;51783912]Isn't there an arm implant she can get?[/QUOTE] Implanon releases progestin into the bloodstream which is the same hormone used in depo-provera. Depo-provera is known to cause bone density loss. The damage is compounded the longer you are on the shot and there is a risk of it not being completely reversible. Bone density loss is a massive risk for a woman to take considering we are already at risk for osteoporosis later in life due to menopause. I would not mess with implanon until there is more conclusive research on whether it carries the same risks. [QUOTE=Kabstrac;51784611]Also what about nuvaring?[/QUOTE] Nuvaring increases the risk of blood clots, heart attack, and stroke (as do birth control pills). Personally... I don't like putting drugs into my system, especially hormones. I went with Paragard because I wanted a non-hormonal birth control. All hormonal birth control methods carry their own risks that extend way beyond pregnancy. Paragard naturally carries its own risks but any worst-case scenario with Paragard would pretty much be restricted to damaging your reproductive system in some way (which doesn't concern me much seeing as I don't plan to reproduce). I would take a few months of localized pain that I can understand over introducing hormones into my system any day.

Does Paragard have any side effects? I've been wanting to get on birth control on the chance that I'll give sex a try sometime in the future but the hormonal stuff doesn't seem enticing at all.

Paragard is just a T-shaped copper wire, so all of its side effects are just from the discomfort of having a chunk of metal chilling in your uterus. It can cause cramping, heavier periods, bleeding between periods, and back pain. Apparently there's also a risk for anemia but that's nothing a healthy diet/vitamin supplements can't fix. I personally stopped experiencing significant pain with it after 2 or 3 months. During that time it was hard for me to do any strenuous exercise like running without getting bad cramps. After a few months it ceased to bother me.

My girlfriends looking at Paragard now since she's on the implant and she's had period for 8+ months constantly and stomach cramps everynight

[QUOTE=Marzipas;51784665]right this isn't deep advice or anything, just dunno the best way to handle this lol so the girl I'm seeing currently was going to come to mine this weekend and I was going to cook dinner, and we'd said it'd be a kinda valentinesy day thing. Sadly, a family thing popped up so she won't be able to make it, but instead we've agreed I'll go over this sunday and we'll do something during the day, and she said she'd like to come over for the dinner the weekend after (we live in different towns but its not that far) I'm obvs going to give her something for valentines day on this sunday when I see her, but my only worry is that since our original plan was to do dinner which is rescheduled to the next week, that if she was going to get me something she'd do it then and not this sunday, and while I really don't mind even if she didn't get me anything, I just worry that she'd feel bad if I turned up with something this week and she didn't have anything? I mean that's just how I'd feel were it the other way round, so idk how best to handle it so that nothing awkward happens.[/QUOTE] if you give her a gift and she feels bad that she doesn't have one for you and you assure her that it's okay and she understands that, you guys will only end up closer

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51785942]Paragard is just a T-shaped copper wire, so all of its side effects are just from the discomfort of having a chunk of metal chilling in your uterus. [B]It can cause cramping, heavier periods, bleeding between periods, and back pain[/B]. Apparently there's also a risk for anemia but that's nothing a healthy diet/vitamin supplements can't fix. I personally stopped experiencing significant pain with it after 2 or 3 months. During that time it was hard for me to do any strenuous exercise like running without getting bad cramps. After a few months it ceased to bother me.[/QUOTE] Damn. I already deal with all of these things to the point where I'm in pain a lot of days out of the month. I dunno how well I'd deal with them being amplified lol.

[QUOTE=Pascall;51786940]Damn. I already deal with all of these things to the point where I'm in pain a lot of days out of the month. I dunno how well I'd deal with them being amplified lol.[/QUOTE] There are a lot of dietary factors in cramps that might be worth looking into. Magnesium deficiency is pretty common in this country thanks to our food culture and is a factor in cramps, muscle spasms, migraines, tremors, restlessness/dizziness/confusion... the list goes on. The reason why women are told to eat dark chocolate when they're on their periods is because of the high magnesium content in cacao - getting more magnesium in your diet can stop menstrual cramps. Vitamin D deficiency can also lead to muscle pain/weakness. I would strongly recommend looking up food sources for magnesium and vitamin D and seeing if you're getting an adequate amount of them. There are some other nutrients like omega 3 fatty acids, vitamin B6, zinc, and vitamin E that I've heard can help as well (though none of those vitamins are things you would probably be deficient in unless you're on a specific diet).

Could use some advice on how to get someone off my mind, I fucked up and I guess she lost the feelings for me and moved on to someone else. But I can't help having the thought of her either cross my mind once a day or the first thought on my mind when I wake up. I've gotten over people before but it took almost a year for the feelings to die afterwards.

Other than like burying yourself in work, hobbies or friends there's not a great deal else but time to get them off your mind.

True, it'll just take time. But we are involved in same hobbies and group of friends, i guess just play it cool.

is it bad that i don't date anyone under the age of 21?

depends on how old you are but that seems like a good policy no matter what

I dated an 18 year old as a 21 year old and it was fine. I actually thought she was the same age as me, I was surprised to find out that she was that young but it didn't really change my opinion of her. I'm coming up for 24 now and generally I don't think I would go for anyone younger than 20.

long distancing it with girlfriend back in my hometown. fuck this yearning

I've been thinking about things a lot recently, and I don't really know if I like sex anymore. The thought of intercourse doesn't really do anything for me. I masturbate once in a while, but it feels more like letting off steam than something I want to do every day. But my girlfriend and I haven't had sex in a while and I don't want her to think it's because I'm not interested in her anymore - I have no interest in ending the relationship, and it's not like I'm not attracted to her. I'm also fairly certain I'm not gay either, because the thought of sex with men is even less appealing. I want to talk to her about it, but I don't want to say the wrong thing, and she's also been stressed out about life lately and I don't want to pile more things on, so I'm not sure what approach I should take.

[QUOTE=Schmaaa;51790959]I've been thinking about things a lot recently, and I don't really know if I like sex anymore. The thought of intercourse doesn't really do anything for me. I masturbate once in a while, but it feels more like letting off steam than something I want to do every day. But my girlfriend and I haven't had sex in a while and I don't want her to think it's because I'm not interested in her anymore - I have no interest in ending the relationship, and it's not like I'm not attracted to her. I'm also fairly certain I'm not gay either, because the thought of sex with men is even less appealing. I want to talk to her about it, but I don't want to say the wrong thing, and she's also been stressed out about life lately and I don't want to pile more things on, so I'm not sure what approach I should take.[/QUOTE] I had the same feeling about a year ago, and I never did tell my girlfriend at the time since she was never really into sex. I would recommend approaching the topic with her slowly and being as open as possible as to let her know that it's nothing she's done and its just a general feeling you have with nothing to worry about. It's fine to have a decline in sexual feeling -- most guys have a peak near the mid-point to the end of puberty, then suddenly drop off on sexual drive. If you start experiencing other issues with fatigue or a slowing of muscle growth. I would see a doctor since it could be related to your testosterone levels.

Hi, it's been a long time since I posted something around here. Though I don't know how to deal with this situation... My GF and I have been together for a whooping 8 months. We've been happy altogether, some family shit popped up, it's a long distance relationship but it's only 100km away, so I get to see her every weekend. There's this guy, though. She told me he tried something with her before we met, they never even kissed, but he's a pain in the ass. Dude's extremely childish, even went as far as sending her a private message praising her smile (with obvious malicious intent) on a weekend, when we were obviously going to be together. Despite various attempts made by her, he still insists on talking with her. It would be okay if all his talks are about how good she looks, etc. It looks like he is trying to affect us at some level, we talked a lot about this and what it all means to us, and came to a conclusion that no, I feel jealous to some extent, but that I'm confident enough to realize that I'm angry not because I think she's going to leave me or something, but because he's being a [b]pain in the ass[/b] and his intentions are bad. Dude's 27 year old but acts like a teenager. Tomorrow morning I had the last of it since 6:30am he called her from a different phone, and kept sending her messages. The fuck do I do? If we keep blocking him, he'll come back. He's blocked me everywhere except from this phone he called her from, now I at least have a way of contacting him.

[QUOTE=Fingers!!!;51793574]Hi, it's been a long time since I posted something around here. Though I don't know how to deal with this situation... My GF and I have been together for a whooping 8 months. We've been happy altogether, some family shit popped up, it's a long distance relationship but it's only 100km away, so I get to see her every weekend. There's this guy, though. She told me he tried something with her before we met, they never even kissed, but he's a pain in the ass. Dude's extremely childish, even went as far as sending her a private message praising her smile (with obvious malicious intent) on a weekend, when we were obviously going to be together. Despite various attempts made by her, he still insists on talking with her. It would be okay if all his talks are about how good she looks, etc. It looks like he is trying to affect us at some level, we talked a lot about this and what it all means to us, and came to a conclusion that no, I feel jealous to some extent, but that I'm confident enough to realize that I'm angry not because I think she's going to leave me or something, but because he's being a [b]pain in the ass[/b] and his intentions are bad. Dude's 27 year old but acts like a teenager. Tomorrow morning I had the last of it since 6:30am he called her from a different phone, and kept sending her messages. The fuck do I do? If we keep blocking him, he'll come back. He's blocked me everywhere except from this phone he called her from, now I at least have a way of contacting him.[/QUOTE] Isn't that harrasment? Maybe you should notify the police.

[QUOTE=_Axel;51793582]Isn't that harrasment? Maybe you should notify the police.[/QUOTE] Been heavily considering this.

If you've been blocking him everywhere and such and you both don't want any contact with him, call the police and he if contacts again, tell him that you've notified the police. Easiest solution dude.

I'm thinking about hitting up my "ex". It's in quotes because I wouldn't exactly have classified her as my girlfriend. It was mostly just sex. We both put up this mask (goofiness) around other people because of social anxiety issues. And I think I've finally found the source to mine. I thought I was transgender. Since age 12 up until like.... 6 months ago (turns out I was deeply addicted to porn). That belief poisoned every aspect of my life; I kept it completely bottled up inside me. Because of this I was incapable of viewing social interactions and life in a normal context. It's almost as if I've been in a trance for 10 years and am now slowly waking up. I feel like she's the only person I could talk to about that stuff because it seemed like she put up the same kind of mask I did. And she's bi too, and once told me she wanted to be a guy when she was younger She said she wanted to be friends at first (about 1.5 years ago), but I developed feelings for her over the course of our 3-month "relationship", so I psuedo-cut contact. And that kinda killed everything. We messaged a couple times, but it was just me asking for closure (and her giving me that closure). I'm thinking about texting her asking if she's still around and if she wants to get lunch or dinner. But I have no clue how to bring this up with her. Hell, I dont even know if I should. And idk if she'd want to see me

Well if you weren't in a proper relationship just message her. Just start with a normal conversation about her life, etc If she continues to talk to you and seems interesting in conversing with you, ask if she wants to get lunch and dinner.

[QUOTE=dds98;51803266]I'm thinking about hitting up my "ex". It's in quotes because I wouldn't exactly have classified her as my girlfriend. It was mostly just sex. We both put up this mask (goofiness) around other people because of social anxiety issues. And I think I've finally found the source to mine. I thought I was transgender. Since age 12 up until like.... 6 months ago (turns out I was deeply addicted to porn). That belief poisoned every aspect of my life; I kept it completely bottled up inside me. Because of this I was incapable of viewing social interactions and life in a normal context. It's almost as if I've been in a trance for 10 years and am now slowly waking up. I feel like she's the only person I could talk to about that stuff because it seemed like she put up the same kind of mask I did. And she's bi too, and once told me she wanted to be a guy when she was younger She said she wanted to be friends at first (about 1.5 years ago), but I developed feelings for her over the course of our 3-month "relationship", so I psuedo-cut contact. And that kinda killed everything. We messaged a couple times, but it was just me asking for closure (and her giving me that closure). I'm thinking about texting her asking if she's still around and if she wants to get lunch or dinner. But I have no clue how to bring this up with her. Hell, I dont even know if I should. And idk if she'd want to see me[/QUOTE] Hey, good on you man, it sounds like youve got some stuff figured out. As for getting back with the girl, dont overthink it. Just ask her if shes still interested.