Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

[QUOTE=_Axel;51826023]Are there good sex positions to accommodate for girth? So far my GF and I have been only doing missionary but it still hurts a bit for her, which makes it difficult to derive pleasure from it. I suppose size is something one gets used to after a while but it would be best if it could be pleasant for both parties until then.[/QUOTE] Gratuitous lubing is the answer to all of your problems.

havent had gf but a girl I know wants to fuck without being gf i dunno [editline]16th February 2017[/editline] she basically wants a friends with benefits type of thing and all my paranoia makes me think about is that theres some sort of catch

A lot of people who prefer hook-ups view mutual exclusivity/relationships as the "catch" in those situations.

[QUOTE=Araknid;51830433]havent had gf but a girl I know wants to fuck without being gf i dunno [editline]16th February 2017[/editline] she basically wants a friends with benefits type of thing and all my paranoia makes me think about is that theres some sort of catch[/QUOTE] the only catch is if you or her end up copping feelings for one another after the sex, especially if it's one sided

[QUOTE=Araknid;51830433]havent had gf but a girl I know wants to fuck without being gf i dunno [editline]16th February 2017[/editline] she basically wants a friends with benefits type of thing and all my paranoia makes me think about is that theres some sort of catch[/QUOTE] No real catch, just don't instantly become obsessed 40-texts-a-day -creep towards her. Keep your relationship the same, with occasional sex. As in, uh, friends with benefits like you said. :v:

thanks lads, I'll have to see how it goes

Update: We're on a break now. I feel like shit and I've made her feel like shit. Where do you even go from here.

[QUOTE=josm;51833598]Update: We're on a break now. I feel like shit and I've made her feel like shit. Where do you even go from here.[/QUOTE] Give each other some space. Then come back a few days later and try to tackle the problem. Get some advice from different people and see some different perspectives on it. Make sure people are being honest with you. I don't generally condone "being on a break" because of the implications, but if you mean you're just giving each other time away from each other, then that's fine. It's salvageable, you just need to give yourself some time to think about the issue in another way.

[QUOTE=Pascall;51833646]Give each other some space. Then come back a few days later and try to tackle the problem. Get some advice from different people and see some different perspectives on it. Make sure people are being honest with you. I don't generally condone "being on a break" because of the implications, but if you mean you're just giving each other time away from each other, then that's fine. It's salvageable, you just need to give yourself some time to think about the issue in another way.[/QUOTE] We're definitely giving each other space and we said it was good that we were having some time away just to think. If we give it another go and "start again" then we promised to be honest about our problems (our own problems, not problems with each other). But thanks, that helped.

Girlfriend never came over for valentines day... dumped me the next day. feelsbadman.

SNIP pui

My ex guilted me into hanging out with her on valentine's day, and as much as I didn't want to because I would've rather been playing For Honor, I had a good time. I kinda feel garbage though, I think I pressured her into kissing me and I'm not sure if she wanted to. Stuff like that always bothers me more than it should.

what

I'm really worried that politics will break my girlfriend and I up. We have such a great relationship, and get along really well. I understand he very much because of how similar she is to me, and she fills out a lot of things I wanted in a girl. The only problem is we couldn't have more polar opposite political views, especially regarding Trump and the media. Once Pandora's Box was opened, it's caused friction if we ever got onto the subject. It doesn't help that I'm always reading up on it, so I'm very informed on the subject and eager to get into it. I don't want to put her on a pedestal, but she couldn't be a more perfect girl for me. It's just this one thing that [i]really[/i] divides us, and it worries me that it'll ruin an otherwise fantastic relationship.

Oh yeah, I intended to tell you guys how my Valentine's Day went. So: We walked to a place we were supposed to eat at. It's like 3km away from us (we live pretty much next to each other). We went there, saw the line leading outside and went "Well fuck this." She said she knows a place bit further away that's probably empty. We walk there, it's another 3km. Line leading outside. Shit. We decided "Well fuck it." and walked back to my place, ate something and boned all night. So in the end, we walked around 12km for funsies then banged. Romantic, huh? :v:

[QUOTE=Flazer210;51834119]My ex guilted me into hanging out with her on valentine's day, and as much as I didn't want to because I would've rather been playing For Honor, I had a good time. I kinda feel garbage though, I think I pressured her into kissing me and I'm not sure if she wanted to. Stuff like that always bothers me more than it should.[/QUOTE] Yeah, an awkward kiss with someone you value less than gaming time on Valentine's Day is just such a waste of time.

[QUOTE=KillerJaguar;51834758]I'm really worried that politics will break my girlfriend and I up. We have such a great relationship, and get along really well. I understand he very much because of how similar she is to me, and she fills out a lot of things I wanted in a girl. The only problem is we couldn't have more polar opposite political views, especially regarding Trump and the media. Once Pandora's Box was opened, it's caused friction if we ever got onto the subject. It doesn't help that I'm always reading up on it, so I'm very informed on the subject and eager to get into it. I don't want to put her on a pedestal, but she couldn't be a more perfect girl for me. It's just this one thing that [i]really[/i] divides us, and it worries me that it'll ruin an otherwise fantastic relationship.[/QUOTE] Just don't talk about politics with your GF. I've a friend who has some very different views on how things should work than his GF, but instead of getting mad at each other and arguing about it, they've just agreed they'll not talk about it.

[QUOTE=Spetsnaz95;51835305]Just don't talk about politics with your GF. I've a friend who has some very different views on how things should work than his GF, but instead of getting mad at each other and arguing about it, they've just agreed they'll not talk about it.[/QUOTE] I discovered that a non-dualist attitude towards politics is the most beneficial way to handle a conversation after meeting a girl who was so actively engaged in anarchism, that it made it easier for me to maintain the buddhist practice where letting go of every attachment to any political group that was by her standards; Mandatory.

[QUOTE=Spetsnaz95;51835305]Just don't talk about politics with your GF. I've a friend who has some very different views on how things should work than his GF, but instead of getting mad at each other and arguing about it, they've just agreed they'll not talk about it.[/QUOTE] It's kinda hard to, since it keeps bleeding into conversations. We're both very up to date on things and spend a lot of time reading up on it, but we interpret the same things we read differently. Case in point, we got into an argument last night about Trump's press conference and I saw it as a trainwreck and she saw it as Trump telling off the media as it is. I'm especially concerned about this because I've already lost some friends who were too drunk on the Kool-Aid, so now I'm worried it might destroy an otherwise great relationship. Avoiding the topic feels like it'll just build up a lot of resentment.

[QUOTE=KillerJaguar;51835681]It's kinda hard to, since it keeps bleeding into conversations. We're both very up to date on things and spend a lot of time reading up on it, but we interpret the same things we read differently. Case in point, we got into an argument last night about Trump's press conference and I saw it as a trainwreck and she saw it as Trump telling off the media as it is. I'm especially concerned about this because I've already lost some friends who were too drunk on the Kool-Aid, so now I'm worried it might destroy an otherwise great relationship. Avoiding the topic feels like it'll just build up a lot of resentment.[/QUOTE] Unfortunately, you really cant avoid political differences, they will come up. By not talking about it you are merely delaying it. I suggest you to start working backwards. Start by finding what matters to the both of you, what morals you support, i promise you will find some common ground. Once you established that, have the mindset that politics is just the "how" of implementing your morals to law, and keep any debates to "I think this way to be more effective" rather than "you are wrong"

[QUOTE=da space core;51836038]Unfortunately, you really cant avoid political differences, they will come up. By not talking about it you are merely delaying it. I suggest you to start working backwards. Start by finding what matters to the both of you, what morals you support, i promise you will find some common ground. Once you established that, have the mindset that politics is just the "how" of implementing your morals to law, and keep any debates to "I think this way to be more effective" rather than "you are wrong"[/QUOTE] But with the massive polarization happening lately, I think it's hard to find any common ground. She's admittedly pretty racist and xenophobic, and wholeheartedly supports Trump and denounces anything the media does. I don't think we can find any common ground on this subject because, as she says, "sucks to be a liberal right now." This is the only problem that's ever come up in our relationship, but it's such a strong and polarizing one that I fear it could break apart everything. [editline].[/editline] I'm not trying to derail the thread into another politics/Trump thread, but it's becoming such a large issue that its bleeding into every facet of life.

[QUOTE=KillerJaguar;51838789]But with the massive polarization happening lately, I think it's hard to find any common ground. She's admittedly pretty racist and xenophobic, and wholeheartedly supports Trump and denounces anything the media does. I don't think we can find any common ground on this subject because, as she says, "sucks to be a liberal right now." This is the only problem that's ever come up in our relationship, but it's such a strong and polarizing one that I fear it could break apart everything. [editline].[/editline] I'm not trying to derail the thread into another politics/Trump thread, but it's becoming such a large issue that its bleeding into every facet of life.[/QUOTE] I can only speak for myself, but I sure wouldn't date someone who is, in your own words, racist and xenophobic, as well as being blindly loyal to a madman (seemingly at least). You really should talk to her about it. I stand by what I said earlier: get an agreement with her that you will not discuss politics so as to avoid stupid arguments.

[QUOTE=KillerJaguar;51838789]But with the massive polarization happening lately, I think it's hard to find any common ground. She's admittedly pretty racist and xenophobic, and wholeheartedly supports Trump and denounces anything the media does. I don't think we can find any common ground on this subject because, as she says, "sucks to be a liberal right now." This is the only problem that's ever come up in our relationship, but it's such a strong and polarizing one that I fear it could break apart everything. [editline].[/editline] I'm not trying to derail the thread into another politics/Trump thread, but it's becoming such a large issue that its bleeding into every facet of life.[/QUOTE] Lets put trump aside for a moment. I had friends who supported trump, but since they supported him for """logical""" reasons (like getting back at pc culture or whatever) some level of debate was possible and we could remain friends. But, if she actually is racist and xenophobic (and im not talking about making the occasional dumb joke, im talking about a clear negative bias towards people of different color and origin), then your relationship probably wont last. Im not saying it is impossible for her to change, perhaps she will with your help, but you must not count on it. If she chooses to continue being racist and xenophobic instead of being with you, just be sure that you dont blame yourself. Its not something like politics where you can have an occasional heated debate then set aside. Being racist and xenophobic is indicative of a much larger problem, and it WILL get in the way of your relationship if not fixed. I really wish you the best of luck with her, just dont beat up yourself if it doesn't work out.

To be fair I don't think that's something you can just "turn off", that's something she was probably raised with and you can't do much about that

[QUOTE=da space core;51840675]Lets put trump aside for a moment. I had friends who supported trump, but since they supported him for """logical""" reasons (like getting back at pc culture or whatever) some level of debate was possible and we could remain friends. But, if she actually is racist and xenophobic (and im not talking about making the occasional dumb joke, im talking about a clear negative bias towards people of different color and origin), then your relationship probably wont last. Im not saying it is impossible for her to change, perhaps she will with your help, but you must not count on it. If she chooses to continue being racist and xenophobic instead of being with you, just be sure that you dont blame yourself. Its not something like politics where you can have an occasional heated debate then set aside. Being racist and xenophobic is indicative of a much larger problem, and it WILL get in the way of your relationship if not fixed. I really wish you the best of luck with her, just dont beat up yourself if it doesn't work out.[/QUOTE] Well she keeps her racism mostly to herself. She doesn't really act on anything as far as I've seen. But she has no problems saying "stinking niggers" or "mouth-breathing Muslim" seriously. She's half-white and half-Vietnamese, but she grew up in bad neighborhoods which gave her her prejudices. This is something that's been sidelined since November, when the election finished and Trump won. It all got ignored up until recently when things have been getting more politically heated in the world.

If my girlfriend called someone a "stinking nigger" and meant it there would be a me-shaped cloud of smoke where I used to be standing because I'd be long gone.

I would be gone so fast holy shit. Is she from this century. Why would you ever willingly put yourself through that. People can reform sure, but your girlfriend pretty much sucks.

[QUOTE=Kabstrac;51841208]but guys she's perfect besides being extremely racist[/QUOTE] Because I'm only focusing on the bad, otherwise I wouldn't be saying anything at all

[QUOTE=KillerJaguar;51840961]Well she keeps her racism mostly to herself. She doesn't really act on anything as far as I've seen. But she has no problems saying "stinking niggers" or "mouth-breathing Muslim" seriously. She's half-white and half-Vietnamese, but she grew up in bad neighborhoods which gave her her prejudices. This is something that's been sidelined since November, when the election finished and Trump won. It all got ignored up until recently when things have been getting more politically heated in the world.[/QUOTE] Alright, allow me to be blunt then. Ask her directly, if she believes that blacks/muslims/whatever are inherently worse people. Do not beat around the bush, ask straight. If she says "no" or something of the sort, then I would say that theres still a reasonable chance. If she says "yes, i believe those people are all..." then just end it immediately. Save yourself from a world of pain later on. Use your own judgment of course, you know her better than anyone here, but dont lie to yourself.

[QUOTE=da space core;51841233]Alright, allow me to be blunt then. Ask her directly, if she believes that blacks/muslims/whatever are inherently worse people. Do not beat around the bush, ask straight. If she says "no" or something of the sort, then I would say that theres still a reasonable chance. If she says "yes, i believe those people are all..." then just end it immediately. Save yourself from a world of pain later on. Use your own judgment of course, you know her better than anyone here, but dont lie to yourself.[/QUOTE] A world of pain from what exactly? Severely clashing ideologies?