Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

The last week has been kind of hell for me. I've not been getting any sleep in the grand scheme of things. My girlfriend is stressed out about her exams which she's failing and it's effecting me. When we talk it always ends up in how she's failing an exam or something, I don't know how to respond or what to tell her. She says she putting in the work but I feel like I can't say anything at the cost she'll just get more upset, I can't just be like 'bummer dude' and ignore how to help her. Every conversation other than the usual good morning usually deteriorates into how something has gone wrong with 'I'm so terrible' and other stuff along those lines. I can't tell if I'm not handling it correctly or there's something I can do better. It's not like I can feel the other stuff like [I]actually being with her[/I] either. I really don't like responding to messages at this point because it feels like a countdown to the next issue. Usually I'd just talk to her about this but on top of the exams I feel like I'd just be adding more to the list.

[QUOTE=ZombieDawgs;51909075]The last week has been kind of hell for me. I've not been getting any sleep in the grand scheme of things. My girlfriend is stressed out about her exams which she's failing and it's effecting me. When we talk it always ends up in how she's failing an exam or something, I don't know how to respond or what to tell her. She says she putting in the work but I feel like I can't say anything at the cost she'll just get more upset, I can't just be like 'bummer dude' and ignore how to help her. Every conversation other than the usual good morning usually deteriorates into how something has gone wrong with 'I'm so terrible' and other stuff along those lines. I can't tell if I'm not handling it correctly or there's something I can do better. It's not like I can feel the other stuff like [I]actually being with her[/I] either. I really don't like responding to messages at this point because it feels like a countdown to the next issue. Usually I'd just talk to her about this but on top of the exams I feel like I'd just be adding more to the list.[/QUOTE] While she mostly can only compare her level of knowledge to those around her, you can still try to compare her to people, in a general sense, that don't know what she knows. Highlight what she is good at, and what she does know, so as to invalidate her feelings. Hell, I cross that point more often than not with school. Some weeks I just feel so damn dense, and that it is largely out of my power to improve because I perceive having already putting in a big effort. In turns in to a pattern, compounding itself. While the root cause of my lack of understanding tends to be simple. The way I try to view exams is that there is always a restart. In way, it's good to learn your weaknesses, and while it expends more of your time and money, I don't think school is always a 1 shot deal. So perhaps suggesting that to her will make her feel less pressure for not doing too great.

[QUOTE=E = MC Hammer;51909038]i know myself and my girlfriend well enough to know there's no way in hell either of us would want/be okay with a threesome[/QUOTE] Nah, it's fine, I'm not bashing people for not treading that territory. I know it's pretty sensitive. Hell, my friend in question's GF actually once asked if I'd be interested in a threesome, which I politely turned down.

If you're looking for threesomes, join the millions of other couples on tinder looking for the same. As a woman looking for other women on tinder, about 40% of them are people in relationships looking for a third. (And another 50% are straight chicks looking for gal pals.)

lesson learned: don't fuck with a full bladder not enjoyable at all and it's so much easier to come >:(

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51911100]I mean, that depends on what you're into[/QUOTE] You aren't "screamin 4 da gold" for nothing.

So this is probably a dumb question but what counts as losing your virginity? I managed to take a girl home last night and I dont remember much but I know we had sex, I just never came, I dont know if she did either but I do remember I fingered her. I dont even remember her name or face oh my god [editline]5th March 2017[/editline] Are first times always this awkward? [editline]5th March 2017[/editline] I hope I didn't say something weird

I have no idea what counts as losing your virginity for my ex it was pretty much just having your genitalia touch, I think you need to actually fuck, but I don't know if there's a general consensus

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51916937]Don't worry about saying awkward things, yesterday I said "thank you" after intimacy. Apparently that's "a weird thing to say."[/QUOTE] That is weird to say to your partner.

Girlfriend just asked for a break between us, Said she felt like she was dating a friend and hadn't been feeling anything romantic for the past month. (been seeing eachother for around 3 now). We work opposite shifts, I monday to friday, and she works weekends and does college on weekdays so we never get to see eachother, aswell as living an hour away from eachother too which makes it extremely difficult for us to meet up. We've only seen eachother 3 times over the past 3 months although each time has been amazing for the both of us. She was saying how it's all her and shes a bit of a wreck right now, and how she doesn't want to waste my time with her. I've tried to convince her that none of it is a problem and that we can try and change things but she says that we shouldn't need to change and how I've "fallen really fast"(she didn't know how to explain what that meant), but she still really likes me and stuff. So idk what to really say as half of what she says she can't even explain. We went out for valentines and everything seemed fine, and we talk every day and everything seemed perfectly fine until the last couple days where she just seemed off. I've said to her it doesn't help that we barely get to see eachother and since she's moving out in a couple months I can come over on weekends then and we can spend the whole of saturday and sunday mornings and evening together since she works night shifts + her parents don't let me come round their house right now, but she didn't say anything about that. So Idk what to really say to her or do right now, she said she'll see how she feels in a couple weeks but to me it sounds like she doesn't really see it working out at all First proper relationship i've been in so I don't really have the experience on the topic at all and Idk what to do to help her

"We shouldn't need to change" kinda rings an alarm bell to me. A good relationship requires efforts, and her saying this kind of implies that she expects the relationship to be magical and effortless.

[QUOTE=_Axel;51917623]"We shouldn't need to change" kinda rings an alarm bell to me. A good relationship requires efforts, and her saying this kind of implies that she expects the relationship to be magical and effortless.[/QUOTE] Yeah, I said to her its about adapting to each other and stuff but she sort of ignored it, and the fact that this conversation has came out of nowhere, and shes gone straight to a break without letting us change and see how it goes makes me have no idea what the problem is

[QUOTE=Kamber56;51917701]Yeah, I said to her its about adapting to each other and stuff but she sort of ignored it, and the fact that this conversation has came out of nowhere, and shes gone straight to a break without letting us change and see how it goes makes me have no idea what the problem is[/QUOTE] sounds like she doesnt want to make any sort of effort

[QUOTE=MrJazzy;51916146]So this is probably a dumb question but what counts as losing your virginity? I managed to take a girl home last night and I dont remember much but I know we had sex, I just never came, I dont know if she did either but I do remember I fingered her. I dont even remember her name or face oh my god [editline]5th March 2017[/editline] Are first times always this awkward? [editline]5th March 2017[/editline] I hope I didn't say something weird[/QUOTE] Oh don't worry, mine was quite similar, alcohol and never actually coming included.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51916937]Don't worry about saying awkward things, yesterday I said "thank you" after intimacy. Apparently that's "a weird thing to say."[/QUOTE] just got for a high five, that's what i always do she gets mad every time i do it but if she high fives me back i know i did a good job

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51916937]Don't worry about saying awkward things, yesterday I said "thank you" after intimacy. Apparently that's "a weird thing to say."[/QUOTE] I had a girl say "wow thanks for fingering me"

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51916937]Don't worry about saying awkward things, yesterday I said "thank you" after intimacy. Apparently that's "a weird thing to say."[/QUOTE] I tend to say "You too" or such a lot when I get compliments during sex. I suck at dirty talk, the only thing I usually say is something like "WOW YOU FEEL GOOD." :v:

I'm too shy for dirty talk and I'm afraid I would be ridiculed

[QUOTE=SgtTupelo;51920075]I tend to say "You too" or such a lot when I get compliments during sex. I suck at dirty talk, the only thing I usually say is something like "WOW YOU FEEL GOOD." :v:[/QUOTE] I made the mistake of quoting Bender's "Shut up baby, I know it" to someone who didn't get the joke and hadn't watched Futurama. Took a lot of explaining and thank fuck the clip existed on YouTube. :v:

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51916937]Don't worry about saying awkward things, yesterday I said "thank you" after intimacy. Apparently that's "a weird thing to say."[/QUOTE] Embracing my Essex nature, I once said" phwoar mate" afterwards.

meh

[QUOTE=SgtTupelo;51920075]I tend to say "You too" or such a lot when I get compliments during sex. I suck at dirty talk, the only thing I usually say is something like "WOW YOU FEEL GOOD." :v:[/QUOTE] I once dirty-talked to my girlfriend about the dentist, it's all in the moment man.

Snippedy-doo dah

[QUOTE=Zombinie;51921644]How do you guys view losing your virginity? How did it change you? How should virginity in males be treated? Some people think that it is just an arbitrary barrier, and you should get it over with w/ a prostitute / hookup as soon as possible if you are having difficulty because it will help you "over" that barrier of fear give you more confidence in yourself, also making you less pressured to get to the sex because it's no longer a big deal. Others think that your virginity should be saved until you are with someone you really care about, making it a special, ceremonial event that you will remember for the rest of your life. [sp]I feel dumb, guilty, and embarrassed to say this but I am actually considering hooking up with a person on reddit (yes, I know, just please don't bully me I hate myself already), because part of me just wants to get it over with, I am awkward around women and I have this idea that maybe if I lose my virginity I will walk with new confidence or something. Like if I don't snag this opportunity to lose my V-card, I never will because I will never get un-awkward and etc etc. What's more, is that the person on reddit is a guy. Yeah. This makes me even more conflicted because I am 90% straight, and because of that I feel like my first experiences should be with a girl, otherwise I will be forever primarily gay which is not how I feel, but how could I say that I am not primarily gay if I lost my virginity to a guy?[/sp][/QUOTE] im not going to tell you some nonsense that "you should only lose your virginity to a girl you love deeply" but at least do it with someone you know and like. and losing your virginity wont make you more manly or whatever either. and yeah, do it with a girl if you believe yourself to be straight.. one emotional rollercoaster at a time.

Virginity is pretty arbitrary imo. As long as you're not pressuring yourself into losing it with someone who you don't really know just to say you've lost it, then do whatever you'd like. I'd always roll with having sex with someone you know and trust first, just to ensure that your first time isn't weird and awkward with some stranger, but hey, you do you. But losing your virginity won't magically instill you with confidence. If you're not confident now, it'll take a while before you are, regardless if you've had sex or not. Also you're not "primarily gay" if you lose your virginity to a guy. Do whatever you want? Maybe you're bisexual with a preference towards women? Either way is fine. Even straight people sometimes experiment before they assure themselves that they are straight. It's normal and healthy to explore different avenues just for funsies. There's nothing wrong or weird about it and anyone who says there is isn't really up to date on the concepts of sexuality as a fluid characteristic. Ultimately, go with what you feel. If you want your first time to be a hookup, that's fine. If you want it to be "special" that's also fine. If you want it to be with a guy or a girl, either one is fine. There are no rules about it.

When I wasn't a virgin anymore I felt exactly the same as when I still was Reality is always boring compared to our imagination

The morning after losing my virginity i woke up with a full beard, bulging biceps, and a strong desire to punch down trees for a living. Jk it doesnt actually change you at all. I guess maybe if you got roped into full domination bdsm blood orgy your first time, you might be a little changed. Point is, dont just do it cause you feel like you have to. If you actually want to, then do it. If not, fuck it. It doesnt make you any less of a person just because you havent stuck your willy in someone.

[QUOTE=Pascall;51921680]Virginity is pretty arbitrary imo. As long as you're not pressuring yourself into losing it with someone who you don't really know just to say you've lost it, then do whatever you'd like. I'd always roll with having sex with someone you know and trust first, just to ensure that your first time isn't weird and awkward with some stranger, but hey, you do you. But losing your virginity won't magically instill you with confidence. If you're not confident now, it'll take a while before you are, regardless if you've had sex or not. Also you're not "primarily gay" if you lose your virginity to a guy. Do whatever you want? Maybe you're bisexual with a preference towards women? Either way is fine. Even straight people sometimes experiment before they assure themselves that they are straight. It's normal and healthy to explore different avenues just for funsies. There's nothing wrong or weird about it and anyone who says there is isn't really up to date on the concepts of sexuality as a fluid characteristic. Ultimately, go with what you feel. If you want your first time to be a hookup, that's fine. If you want it to be "special" that's also fine. If you want it to be with a guy or a girl, either one is fine. There are no rules about it.[/QUOTE] Pretty much all of this. Dont do what I did :v:

I think it just has as much value as you personally give it. If it really boils down to nothing more than "I want to give sex a try" then there's no harm in pursuing a random hookup. Just be safe about it, you know, use protection and try not to get involved with someone really shady. But if it's in your nature to worry about this kind of thing, odds are you'll have something new to worry about even when it's over. You might find that it wasn't really sex itself that you wanted, but a loving relationship. Or maybe you don't want to be a non-virgin, but rather you want to be seen as desirable by lots of people. Don't feel too rushed to lose it unless that really is EXACTLY where your worries stop. That said, I also think it can be hard to look at it with that kind of perspective when you haven't been there yet. Other people can tell you "I regret rushing into my first time" or "Nothing changed for me after my first time" but everyone is going to have a different reaction to it based on their own personality and circumstances.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51924090]Virginity just feels like a negative concept. In my experience, only unexperienced highschoolers give a shit about it. Honestly, it doesn't matter and doesn't change anything about people.[/QUOTE] When I was in college I talked to a lot of people with varying amounts of sexual experience and based on my anecdotal evidence the only people who feel it doesn't matter are people who aren't virgins.