Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

[QUOTE=Kabstrac;51971011]If you think you have an STD and may have spread it, you should let them know that you are going to get tested and that they should either get tested as well or choose to wait until you have your results.[/QUOTE] Well I would have got it from her, there's no one else I'm having sex with, so I don't know if I should be mad or not

[QUOTE=notlabbet;51971129]Well I would have got it from her, there's no one else I'm having sex with, so I don't know if I should be mad or not[/QUOTE] [del]You should be mad.[/del] I would be mad if I were in your position.

in what fucking universe is "being mad" the wrong response to someone giving you an STD [editline]16th March 2017[/editline] i guess if they didn't know about it but even then id get mad

I just want to go to a doctor to be sure before I start pointing fingers, it could be a result of bad hygiene for all I know

I can't stop thinking about this scene [media]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDP696G_FiA[/media]

If she admits knowledge of the STD press charges. Dont let that fucking shit pass.

if I can book a table at one of the places I want to go to, date 2 is on the cards for this week

[QUOTE=chills2;51960425]OK guys so I need a little rant. and possibly some advice. Brutally honest, made the mistake of shitting where I eat and was kinda seeing a girl from work. She got out of a bad relationship around a year ago and wants to do the casual shit which kinda worked for a while but I made my peace with it since I'm pretty head over heels, we've fallen out multiple times and always end up back together but I blew up a little at her cause she was dating a few other guys and I felt like such a backup (in my defence I asked her to let me know when she did this so I could work through it and do something to distract myself), I just realised she needed the time to do the single stuff, one night stands etc, but I think dating is an entirely different thing and she doesn't seem to see it that way. Full disclosure I've fucked up before and slept with a girl I knew pretty much the same day as I stayed with her when I was drunk as shit. Anyway my point is I was honest with her about this and she hasn't been honest with me about the dating, she straight up lied to me and I felt like a big bag of shit, ended up arguing for a couple of hours and she was already pissed off at something else, now she won't even look at me let alone speak to me. Even though we're gonna try the friends thing again, I'm not entirely sure we're capable of it, she's told some of our mutual friends she's just trying to work through some stuff and I do wanna try and save this but I just don't wanna feel like a pushover in the end up. It's like, she's told her friends all about me and everything and I'm the same with her, and it's obvious to everyone how well we get along and all that but fuck man, I don't wanna be someone's backup. She acts all couply with me and gets annoyed about me being with other people but apparently it's not ok if I don't like her dating? Just trying to wait out the silence at the minute and see what happens. Rant kinda over, even if it was a little rambling, just I feel like shit these days and needed to get it out. Girls genuinely confuse the fuck out of me.[/QUOTE] You need to clarify with her what your relationship actually is. If it isn't or isn't going to be what you want it to be and she's not willing to commit to it then it's not really worth continuing it at least until she feels ready cause you will be the one losing out mostly. [QUOTE=Liota;51965512]is it normal to be super jealous? been with my gf for about 2 months and sometimes she says she goes out with a bunch of people from another town (especially on saturdays, which makes me pissed off considering its one of the few days i could enjoy fully with her) and it pisses me off so much i just go out with other girls secretly, although i think im overreacting and this shit might be ruining our relationship if she finds out or something but idk she knows im pissed off about it but i just say "sure if you want to go with them go ahead" because i dont want to sound like a dick, after all she can do what she wants but still any advices? its a bunch of guys she met at a party, they stole her mobile and sent me some texts, i was drunk and sent them very aggressive texts back and when she saw them she got so pissed off she wanted a "relationship pause" (or idk how that bullshit is called in english) but i managed to save it, from that day she goes out with them every once in a while and im still so angry about it[/QUOTE] Jealousy is fairly normal and can arguably be healthy unless it is too strong and causes problems where there is nothing to be reasonably suspicious about (After all if you are far too trusting then you open yourself to being used/exploited/lied to) If you aren't comfortable with it then say you aren't in a non hostile way / make it more about the fact that you'd rather spend that time with her. The wrong way to go about it is saying its fine then getting angry because its not fine and you have sat and stewed without saying anything. If you actually don't trust that she is committed enough to you to not cheat on you when she goes out and she wants to go out partying or whatever regardless of what you think then it might be a sign that you aren't going to be very compatible

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51984154]I would argue jealously is naturally unhealthy. Its direct root is low self-esteem. You are jealous because you think you're less desirable than someone else. It does not help relationships. It may be nice that someone gets jealous for you, but it is a sign of a crack in the wall.[/QUOTE] i agree. I didnt really know, but some events can trigger this kind of behavior. I was never a jealous guy in any form, but i think it was from being so sure i would never be dumped or something, that kind of confidence you get at the start of your first relationship where you take things from granted. Now, i have been kind of jealous in some forms (that i dont really act on, just feel it) and it really, really sucks, its very irrational and bothersome, and i hate it.

Saying its root is self esteem is a bit of an oversimplification imo, fear seems like a more suitable base for jealousy as the root is the fear of losing something. It depends if the reason for feeling it comes from an imaginary or exaggerated situation versus a real tangible threat, I would say low self esteem is one trigger for feeling irrational jealousy because it can cause you to perceive a threat that isn't there. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying it's healthy to suspect your partner is cheating every time they go out though, and intense jealousy is probably a sign of underlying issues and can be compared to an irrational fear. Either way the most important thing is how it manifests itself and how you deal with it. I would say being uncomfortable your gf going partying anyway and then getting drunken texts from guys you dont know on her phone could be a legit reason to feel some jealousy but there is a lot of context missing and really the most important thing you have to ask yourself is [i]if your jealousy stems from not trusting her/being scared due to paranoia, or if you actually have a good reason to not fully trust her[/I]. In any case lashing out in anger is the worst way to deal with it. I'm not a particularly jealous person anyways but I know 110% that I can trust my gf (of 6 years) just because of the kind of person she is. I'm perfectly fine with her going for lunch or dinner or to do whatever with one or more guy friends that I don't even know since there is no good reason to suspect anything, and if I did tell her I was uncomfortable with it she would talk about it rather than be angry. A lot of people see us as one of those 'relationship goals' type of couples, but we went through our fair share of rocky periods in the past to get here and still have arguments every so often now, but they are usually due to something external causing a build up of stress and its usually acknowledged that the arguments are dumb/meaningless but just triggered by bad moods.

I actually think it'd also be unhealthy to be 100% devoid of jealousy. If nobody felt any jealousy, then every relationship would be an open relationship. BUT most relationships are not, because most people do not want to see their partner involved with another person. Because it would make them jealous.

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;51985346]I actually think it'd also be unhealthy to be 100% devoid of jealousy. If nobody felt any jealousy, then every relationship would be an open relationship. BUT most relationships are not, because most people do not want to see their partner involved with another person. Because it would make them jealous.[/QUOTE] I mean, if I saw my gf making out with someone else I wouldn't feel jealous, but rather angry at her for being a cunt

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;51985346]I actually think it'd also be unhealthy to be 100% devoid of jealousy. If nobody felt any jealousy, then every relationship would be an open relationship. BUT most relationships are not, because most people do not want to see their partner involved with another person. Because it would make them jealous.[/QUOTE] In addition to this like I said a few posts ago, jealousy can also prevent you from blinding yourself to clues that something is amiss. It'd be perfectly normal to have feelings of jealousy if your gf/bf was spending (what you consider) too much time with someone from the opposite sex that you don't know and don't know their motives, especially if they have qualities you know your partner finds attractive because that is potentially a real threat to your relationship. Most people express this jealousy in a toxic, self defeating way though because being angry/aggressive about it right off the bat when you have no actual evidence that anything has gone on other than an uncomfortable feeling about the whole situation just serves to push the other person away and make you look like a horrible person, doubly so if your partner is completely innocent in having no feelings towards this other person so from their POV you are just persecuting them because of jealous paranoia.

Just an update, 3 bucks of antibiotics and I'm cured, if you get mad over that shit you're being dramatic. Also she's getting tested and we're stickin together

Jealousy isn't completely an unhealthy quality, over jealousy can be controlled. Just look at the situation truthfully and if there isn't any legit reason to worry then just do not react to those reoccurring thoughts of anxiety/jealousy, that way breaking the thought pattern of worry. Being scared of your partner doing something untrustworthy when its unlikely they will will just cause thaws in the relationship

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[QUOTE=cheesy_lard;51994955]So... I'm in a bit of a dry spell. Has anyone hit up an old fling (not gf) just straight up asking for sex? Like my ideal scenario would be texting her "hey you wanna bang?" and then her saying yes, and then I give her my address and she comes over and we bang. But that's just way too explicit of an initial text, esp. since I haven't seen her for like 2 years (and haven't texted her for a year). I was thinking about being like "hey you still around?", and if she responded positively, then I'd be like "you wanna get lunch or dinner or something?" But I don't really feel like going out on a date with her or whatever. I just wanna bang[/QUOTE] Ask her randomly to come hang out and watch a movie with you, initiate if you get any sign, and if not, just watch the movie.

whisky dick is all too real, yikes

[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;52010828]whisky dick is all too real, yikes[/QUOTE] Welcome to the "I'd have preferred not to figure that out first hand" club

i joined that club when i didnt think about putting down a towel for period sex my poor bed has never forgiven me

Are there any good free dating sites out there that actually works?

Girl in my math lecture randomly messaged me on Facebook last week saying she thought I was cool and that we should hang out sometime. We went out a few nights after, and she hands-down has the most overlapping general interest and music tastes of anyone I've ever met. Good sex is nice, too :p

im a fucking moron. i decided to look up my ex from a couple years ago to see how shes going. everything i suspected was true. she was cheating on me with her best friend, she started dating him 2 days after she broke up with me. i knew it was a bad idea to dig into it but fuck me that hit me hard. [editline]2nd April 2017[/editline] its like all the memories i had with her are ruined now, all those good ones are now shit because i know she was fucking around behind my back.

yeah, it ain't no fun digging up the past. I once looked up my ex's profile and it turned out that she'd taken a trip to new zealand, a trip we were planning to take together a couple of months before when we were still together. I'd so been looking forward to that, a chance to go somewhere totally new and unknown with the girl I loved. perhaps not to the same scale as what you've just come across, but none of it is fun. I don't look her up any more, it's not worth it. all I know that happened with the bloke she left me for is that she did the same thing to him (fell for someone else, no idea if cheating was involved but it wouldn't be a huge surprise), then he basically tried to kill her by forcing the car she was in off of the road. luckily she was fine, but she got mad at me for knowing what went on and discussing it with my friends (no idea how she found out about that since none of my friends ever really liked her or ever spoke to her). at least I took the break up better than that, by crying multiple times a day, every day for weeks.

[QUOTE=dcalde78;52048639] at least I took the break up better than that, by crying multiple times a day, every day for weeks.[/QUOTE] That actually makes me feel better about how I deal with rejection (and subsequently how crazy I feel). At least I didn't resort to attempted murder, so I have that going for me.

I was mad at the guy, he wormed his way into our relationship, said what she wanted to hear and she chose to leave me. Quite frankly I wanted to twat him right in the fucking face, but there was no point to it, I'd get in all sorts of shit and it wasn't worth it. Basically I withdrew from the world. I went to work in the morning, came home and ate, the rest of the time I was in my bedroom, unless I needed to shower or go to the toilet. I locked myself away and stewed in my own misery. Was it the best way to go about it? Looking back, nah, probably not. But I got by, and should it happen to me again, I know how to deal with this kind of shit now. It's all experience at the end of the way, good or bad. It helps you to develop and become a better person.

i took my break up pretty okay, i was fine in a few days. however if i had known that she had left me and gone straight to him it would have wrecked me back then.

I have an ex I'm on pretty good terms with but it still bugs me just slightly when I hear her talking about stuff she does with her new boyfriend that she used to do with me. Like last year we were trying out the whole Mario Party series in order, we stopped because she said she wasn't enjoying it that much, and a few weeks ago she told me in conversation that she and her current bf are playing through the whole Mario Party series. It kinda sucks, the stuff that sticks with you from old relationships. Like when a show that she and I watched on Netflix had a new season added, I didn't even start on it for a while because of this vague thought in the back of my head of "What if she comes over and wants to watch this?" Same thing with some food I bought recently, there was something I held off on cooking for a little while, because it was a food she really liked, and I had that same vague instinct of "What if she comes over?" It's weird because it's not from a perspective of "Maybe she and I will get back together" but just from the perspective of it being an old habit that I do without thinking. It sucks in that moment when I REALIZE why I'm doing it.

thats why im worried if i ever break up with my gf my life will be a mess. we've been living together for almost a year, i wouldn't know what to do with myself if i had to come home from work, make dinner for just me and then go to a bed with no one in it.

[video=youtube;IuV80wYRld0]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IuV80wYRld0[/video] This video presets and interesting take on why people leave other people. It relates to childhood and paternal love and how that first love influences our thoughts on our romantic love. On a personal note, I think this is why my last girlfriend left me. She had a terrible childhood, and I always tried my hardest to do right by her. I'm not sore over it anymore, I feel bad for her even, but I wish she had known the depths of why we didn't work out.