Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

[QUOTE=uber.;52152556]...She said it's not my fault and I didn't do anything in particular, that she has a high opinion of me and she's not leaving me for anyone else. But it's just something she had to do. To say that I still have issues accepting her decision would be a huge understatement.[/QUOTE] I feel for ya, sorry you had to go through that. I was in a very similar situation a few years back, except the out of nowhere breakup came after about 3 and a half years. While it doesn't make these people "bad," it's a really shitty thing to do when you're in a fairly serious relationship. Literally any amount of communication, even if it doesn't change the outcome, can make a situation like that less confusing and hurtful. I'm sure nobody ends a relationship out of nowhere with these intentions, but I really do think it's just a cruel or at the very least irresponsible thing to do (once again only for more serious, communication driven relationships). For what it's worth, the conclusion I came to after my experience was that if that is going to happen at all, it's probably a good thing in the end. If your partner isn't going to communicate those feelings before they're ready to end it entirely, they're probably not ready for that sort of a relationship. It just sucks that a lot of hurt goes into figuring that out.

I think I've said this here before but the best relationship advice I've ever gotten is that you should treat your relationship like its a 60/40 split and if you both treat it like you're the 60 then it'll only improve because you're BOTH working to make it better

[QUOTE=thermobaric;52152624] I'm 20, she's 22. [/QUOTE] you'll be fine. it happened to me and plenty people. you might even see yourself in the same spot one day and you'll understand that it was something you had to do. chances are that she just kept things going seeing how you felt about it (hence why she didn't mention anything about it to you), or that she simply couldn't handle breaking up until she found the courage to do so. in any case, give it time, dont fall for any suspicious and just live your live keeping your distance from her.

Once again, thanks lads. This would've ended way different if it wasn't for your advice.

My LDR girlfriend forgot both our anniversary in February and my birthday yesterday. Even though I went up to see her and planned entire trips around seeing her both times the previous year.

So im slowly learning about bondage is and my girlfriend really love it, but it felt weird when i tried to do the "usual" bondage stuff like pinning, tying her wrists, being super dominant, ect. she does like it but im still confused by it. been reading about bondage stuff and its mostly talking about the sexual aspect, but since my girlfriend is an asexual, we mostly do pretty light bondage stuff and i cant seem to find anything about that lol.

Thats because you're talking about domination, not bondage. The later is all about restraining someone by means of ropes an other artifacts, not just taking control over someone.

I wish I found someone who enjoyed it, but the girls I'm around are all pretty bossy

I got mono on exam week :s: but the other person(s) didn't, luckily

[QUOTE=e_k_M;52180654]So im slowly learning about bondage is and my girlfriend really love it, but it felt weird when i tried to do the "usual" bondage stuff like pinning, tying her wrists, being super dominant, ect. she does like it but im still confused by it. been reading about bondage stuff and its mostly talking about the sexual aspect, but since my girlfriend is an asexual, we mostly do pretty light bondage stuff and i cant seem to find anything about that lol.[/QUOTE] I'm currently in the same exact situation, I'm just kind of confused about that business. Being dominant is okay but I don't know anything about the tools or anything, should probably just invest in some soft handcuffs I guess.

I've been with my SO for about 6 months now and I must say, it's the most adult relationship I've been in. Everything has been pretty great except for fluctuating levels of communication when we're not in person and a couple of personality quirks that we have that we're still getting used to. Despite all of this, and I feel shitty for feeling like this, but in the past couple of weeks I've felt like I'm getting bored of the relationship. They're going back home for 3 months for summer break very soon and I'm weary going from seeing each other nearly everyday to maintaining our relationship over the phone for a while. The distance is about 2 hours by car, but I can't leave the city very often since I'm working the residence halls for the summer students. I feel kinda gloomy about the whole distance thing but it may just be the Finals stress overtaking me. Not sure what kind of thoughts I'm looking for, to be honest it was nice to vent all of this. I need some more time to process, but has anyone had similar feelings?

[QUOTE=psychojake;52184105]I've been with my SO for about 6 months now and I must say, it's the most adult relationship I've been in. Everything has been pretty great except for fluctuating levels of communication when we're not in person and a couple of personality quirks that we have that we're still getting used to. Despite all of this, and I feel shitty for feeling like this, but in the past couple of weeks I've felt like I'm getting bored of the relationship. They're going back home for 3 months for summer break very soon and I'm weary going from seeing each other nearly everyday to maintaining our relationship over the phone for a while. The distance is about 2 hours by car, but I can't leave the city very often since I'm working the residence halls for the summer students. I feel kinda gloomy about the whole distance thing but it may just be the Finals stress overtaking me. Not sure what kind of thoughts I'm looking for, to be honest it was nice to vent all of this. I need some more time to process, but has anyone had similar feelings?[/QUOTE] yeah i went through this after about 7 months with my gf. we'd been living together for almost 2 months when i thought i was bored of the relationship. it was partially because of an old friend who started talking to me and made me think of what could have been. ended up talking to her about how i feel, she went to stay at her friend's for a couple days. then i came and got her and the relationship has been better than ever. we've been living together for almost a year now. [editline]4th May 2017[/editline] its kind of weird to think about breaking up with her even if i was sick of the relationship at this point, because it just smooths itself out over time the further away from her i feel my self drifting.

[QUOTE=Kabstrac;52184947]For the girl I love, 2 hrs by car is nothing and I used to bus for 4 hours every other day just to see her. If you aren't willing to do that, then you're not fully committed to the relationship imo. Then again, I'm an all in kind of person. I make the time for the people I care about, because at the end of my life the way I treated the people around me is what will stick[/QUOTE] That shouldn't be a realistic expectation from or for anyone.

I know people who travel 1-2 hours (one way) to work. It makes sense that North American's would be more accustom to driving that far than Europeans. I can drive for two hours in one direction and be in the same metropolitan area.

[QUOTE=Kabstrac;52185134]Idk, I think 2 hours is nothing honestly, and I don't really consider 2hr travel time LDR. And let me clarify, I meant if he is not willing to visit her once in a while due to 2 hr travel time, then he isn't committed, not what I did.[/QUOTE] Look man, I've got school and a job, I'm lucky to get a day off. 2 hrs travel is a crapload for me.

Everything is relevant. Travelling somewhere that takes 30 minutes in this country and you'll have people going "uuugh, that's so far away!"

[QUOTE=Metaru;52181105]Thats because you're talking about domination, not bondage. The later is all about restraining someone by means of ropes an other artifacts, not just taking control over someone.[/QUOTE] its mixed thing for her since she's interested in being a "hostage/prisioner" of sort, so i kinda have be dominate and also use ropes and such? its still feels weird to me, but im glad she's happy. it was weird that she was insulting me and calling me names while she was stuggling, i know she's just "playing her part" and when i told her about it she apologized furiously. She felt really sad because she thought she hurt my feelings. [QUOTE=Calkkuna;52183449]I'm currently in the same exact situation, I'm just kind of confused about that business. Being dominant is okay but I don't know anything about the tools or anything, should probably just invest in some soft handcuffs I guess.[/QUOTE] im out of the country right now so its going to be a while to try other stuff with her again. seeing my other friends with their SO being close toghether makes me really jelous. i cant wait to finally be close to her like my friends

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;52185247]Look man, I've got school and a job, I'm lucky to get a day off. 2 hrs travel is a crapload for me.[/QUOTE] This, I regularly have to work nights and my SO doesn't have a vehicle, so my only option is to drive up to them and that being difficult isn't a lack of commitment more so than tricky logistics.

[QUOTE=Spetsnaz95;52185390]Everything is relevant. Travelling somewhere that takes 30 minutes in this country and you'll have people going "uuugh, that's so far away!"[/QUOTE] I mean 30 mins is what it takes me to go to school everyday but I would never call it a commute and a 2hr drive isnt ldr imo, but its subjective when its that short a time

[QUOTE=_Axel;52131778]There's something I'm a little bit confused about. My GF is somewhat bi (her being attracted by girls being the exception rather than the rule) though she hasn't experienced that side of things sexually (only dated a friend of hers a few times). And while I wouldn't be able to forgive her if she had relations with another man, I'm not exactly rebuked by the idea of her doing things with another woman, somewhat the opposite actually. I know some people do open relationships, which I certainly wouldn't be confortable with if it meant she could sleep with other men, but I'm wondering if I would actually be confortable with letting her experience some lesbian relations. When I think about it I feel it would be alright for me, but it's kinda weird to me that I'm okay with one gender and not the other. I can't really explain it, which makes me fear there could be a difference between what I think I would feel and what I would actually feel should it happen.[/QUOTE] I know this is a late response but hi, I was in your situation about a year ago (or thinking about similar things) with my SO. She and I have been together for 4 years, and she recently came out as bi (though I had already known she wasn't straight for quite some time). We have never had any major relationship issues and we always tried to be mature about arguments, and so through a process that involved a lot of long talks and the right person coming along at the right time we decided to give non-monogamy/polyamory a try and it has been very successful, so just a few points I can answer from having directly dealt with them myself: Open relationships / non-monogamous life-styles are seriously not for everyone and if you have never had even the most subconscious desire to be with more than just one person or ever felt feelings for another person while in a relationship and been unsure why you feel so conflicted, then it probably isn't for you. Before you even think about letting her do anything with another person, you have to run through every possible situation. What if she likes it? What if she wants more? What if she wants to make your relationship permanently open? What if she eventually has interest in not just seeking out women, but men as well? What are your ground rules? What happens if your rules get broken? And as part of thinking about every possible situation, you have to think of every outcome. Are you ready to communicate openly and honestly, without a filter at all times? Are you ready for the possibility that her sexual desire for women could eventually shift to a romantic one? Are you ready for a turbulent rollercoaster of emotions that you have to train yourself to conquer day by day? If your answer to any of these is anything but a positive response, then you might still be fine in the long run, as long as your answer to open and honest communication, for both of you, is a hard and honest yes, because once that door is open nothing is ever the same, and you have to commit to loving your partner unconditionally and always put the primary relationship first, and all your feelings second. There are a lot of things I didn't see myself feeling or agreeing with when we first started, and the same is true of her. Just experimenting with it opened the door to both of us being more comfortable with it, as long as we maintained a careful pace. The trip to getting where we are now was hard and arduous, and I messed up a lot because of my promiscuity but it was always handled maturely and with minimal shouting, which is the way it has to be, 90% of the time (90% because human nature doesn't always let us be our best self). As a result I've been more emotionally fulfilled by being able to seek physical and romantic affection from more people, and my SO is able to experience being with women, and is able to work on making herself less dependent. It can change your life and it can be positive, only if you're willing to trudge through a swamp of feelings and possibly ruin your relationship. But again, if you're both able to handle communicating smartly and with compassion, your relationship will only become stronger, open relationship or not. [editline]4th May 2017[/editline] also having threesomes is a pretty sick bonus if the new partner is into you

kinky sex is the best sex.

[QUOTE=Metaru;52188376]kinky sex is the best sex.[/QUOTE] No. Cuddly sex is.

Prom's tomorrow [t]http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/205/294/587.jpg[/t] big mood

[QUOTE=Kierany9;52189478]No. Cuddly sex is.[/QUOTE] One does not rule out the other.

[QUOTE=Kierany9;52189478]No. Cuddly sex is.[/QUOTE] What if my kink is cuddling?

So, I've been with this woman for about 7 months or so. We decided to make the leap to move in together, and we've been a bit stressed about it. This is my first time moving in with a SO. Our relationship is super healthy, but finances are tight. She's paying off student loans and credit card debt, and I'm working for stock options and promises while I collect unemployment. We did our expenses, and we'll be able to get by just fine, but there won't be much money left over for us to save. Also, she tends to like nice things. Any tips?

[QUOTE=devcon;52190722]So, I've been with this woman for about 7 months or so. We decided to make the leap to move in together, and we've been a bit stressed about it. This is my first time moving in with a SO. Our relationship is super healthy, but finances are tight. She's paying off student loans and credit card debt, and I'm working for stock options and promises while I collect unemployment. We did our expenses, and we'll be able to get by just fine, but there won't be much money left over for us to save. Also, she tends to like nice things. Any tips?[/QUOTE] imo unless you have some kind of safety net or something, you should probably wait a while until you're both in a better place to afford it. There's a lot more expenses than you think will come up when you're living on your own even if you think you've considered all the variables, and living together will challenge your relationship in ways you didn't expect, which finances will only exacerbate. Take a year, save some money on both ends and try to see if you can't land a secure job, then revisit it. The worst thing is being stuck in a never ending cycle of making it paycheck to paycheck and not being able to put away anything.

[QUOTE=devcon;52190722]So, I've been with this woman for about 7 months or so. We decided to make the leap to move in together, and we've been a bit stressed about it. This is my first time moving in with a SO. Our relationship is super healthy, but finances are tight. She's paying off student loans and credit card debt, and I'm working for stock options and promises while I collect unemployment. We did our expenses, and we'll be able to get by just fine, but there won't be much money left over for us to save. Also, she tends to like nice things. Any tips?[/QUOTE] If there's nothing left to save you're in for a rough ride of it.

my girlfriend and i are talking about moving in together in August/September-ish, i'm sure it's going to be...interesting. i'm excited but also i think living together presents challenges that aren't always there when you're not living together so i'm curious to see how that really turns out,

So yesterday I went out with some friends and one of their roommates. She was dropping obvious hints all night but also occasionally talked about her boyfriend and was seemingly avoiding meeting up with him last night. End of the night happened, we had a great time, hints got even more obvious but I just stayed on her couch anyways. I made the correct choice, right?