Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

[QUOTE=Levelog;52193741]So yesterday I went out with some friends and one of their roommates. She was dropping obvious hints all night but also occasionally talked about her boyfriend and was seemingly avoiding meeting up with him last night. End of the night happened, we had a great time, hints got even more obvious but I just stayed on her couch anyways. I made the correct choice, right?[/QUOTE] If someone is willing to cheat to be with you, then they will be willing to cheat on you as well

[QUOTE=da space core;52194009]If someone is willing to cheat to be with you, then they will be willing to cheat on you as well[/QUOTE] I mean this whole situation wasn't going to be a relationship thing, just a hookup. [editline]6th May 2017[/editline] But yeah, I've been in pretty much every possible position on the whole cheating thing and I just prefer to avoid it.

Is there any way to actually deal with sexual desire? I got expelled from school indirectly because of this and I can't even drive anymore, it's gotten so bad.

That sounds like something you'd need to see a doctor for if your libido is that out of control.

I saw the campus therapist when my grades started slipping, he was more concerned with my depression and completely disregarded my libido.

See an actual GP. They might help you more.

Couldn't stop thinking about sex, couldn't concentrate in class and actually learn anything, did horribly on tests, grade point average was too low too many consecutive semesters. It's an underwhelming story.

Been with this girl relatively long distance for a few weeks now. The distance sucks but I'm used to it and pretty much adore her. I feel we have a lot in common, even if the way we met sort of makes those things we share seem a little shallow. Anyway, I'm sort of in a weird position I guess. We've been on a few dates, made out a few times, and I guess she likes me. But, she doesn't want to commit? As in she doesn't want us to say we're boyfriend and girlfriend yet. Last thing I want is to push her, but I can't help the feeling that there's something about me she must not like if she isn't willing. She has had bad experiences dating other guys in the past. I still get the feeling that I'm doing something wrong though. Is this a normal thing? I'm pretty new to dating since I was with the same girl throughout high school and most of college, so maybe I'm overreacting.

[QUOTE=Ardosos;52198076]Couldn't stop thinking about sex, couldn't concentrate in class and actually learn anything, did horribly on tests, grade point average was too low too many consecutive semesters. It's an underwhelming story.[/QUOTE] Was expecting something far worse tbh. Best advice is probably (as said above) see a GP and get some more hobbies to focus on

[QUOTE=CodeMe;52198125]Been with this girl relatively long distance for a few weeks now. The distance sucks but I'm used to it and pretty much adore her. I feel we have a lot in common, even if the way we met sort of makes those things we share seem a little shallow. Anyway, I'm sort of in a weird position I guess. We've been on a few dates, made out a few times, and I guess she likes me. But, she doesn't want to commit? As in she doesn't want us to say we're boyfriend and girlfriend yet. Last thing I want is to push her, but I can't help the feeling that there's something about me she must not like if she isn't willing. She has had bad experiences dating other guys in the past. I still get the feeling that I'm doing something wrong though. Is this a normal thing? I'm pretty new to dating since I was with the same girl throughout high school and most of college, so maybe I'm overreacting.[/QUOTE] Long distance can do that to you. As someone who just got out of a 1 1/2 year long LDR, the feeling of committing to something or someone when you can only see them rarely is kinda difficult. Plus if you've only been together for a few weeks, and she's had bad experiences in the past, she probably wants to test the waters first. Don't let her waste your time if it gets to a few months or so, though. At that point you're just going on dates with a friend and not a girlfriend.

[QUOTE=CodeMe;52198125]Been with this girl relatively long distance for a few weeks now. The distance sucks but I'm used to it and pretty much adore her. I feel we have a lot in common, even if the way we met sort of makes those things we share seem a little shallow. Anyway, I'm sort of in a weird position I guess. We've been on a few dates, made out a few times, and I guess she likes me. But, she doesn't want to commit? As in she doesn't want us to say we're boyfriend and girlfriend yet. Last thing I want is to push her, but I can't help the feeling that there's something about me she must not like if she isn't willing. She has had bad experiences dating other guys in the past. I still get the feeling that I'm doing something wrong though. Is this a normal thing? I'm pretty new to dating since I was with the same girl throughout high school and most of college, so maybe I'm overreacting.[/QUOTE] just keep doing what you think is best. it's easy to get bogged down in your own feelings when it comes to starting a new relationship of any kind, but i've learned that the easiest way to push someone away is making an assumption about them, because in your own mind this creates an environment where you can more easily extrapolate things like "if they don't want to be with me, they must not like me", and "what am i doing wrong that makes them not want to be with me" and negative self-questioning along those lines. there's no rush to start anything, so just roll with the relationship as it comes. you could always straight up ask her, as it seems like you're at the point where a relationship would normally make the decision to move to the next step and it's obviously bothering you. just be like "hey so I like you, i think you like me too from the time we've spent together, are you interested in a relationship right now or would you rather just stay friends? I'm happy to be either but it's just been something on my mind and i'd like to hear what you think about it". plus you'll show that you're willing to be honest and straightforward with your feelings, which if she's interested, will be a plus

Been with my SO for over a year now living together and we got through all the beginning troubles of living together but recently in the last month or so we've been at our throats about stupid shit and I feel like she'll grill me on little things until I snap. I'm honestly not sure if she's the one for me anymore and I'm not sure what to do. I feel trapped and I'm sitting here breaking down in the bathroom not knowing what to do. Do I move out and try to get on with my life or see if things work out? I just don't want to give up on something good because of a month of containing 4 or 5 arguments over stupid shit. I feel a little hopeless since I moved out here and have no vehicle and no friends. Maybe her and I just need more space because we're around each other 24/7. I'm just desperate for an end to the arguments and stress

So I'm still trying to get over the fact that my ex broke up with me roughly a month ago. I noticed each day that I'm starting to slowly feel better and better, so that's a good thing. But I also noticed that I can't completely let go of her. And that's not something which is going to ruin me, I think. We've been writing each other every now and then and met two times. I don't get the impression that she's just trying to toy with me, she definitely made up her mind and shows that trough her actions. What I also needed was closure. She made up her mind and broke up with me before even showing any sign of it. She still says that she noticed that her feelings for me were getting weaker and weaker and that she noticed that she was getting angry at me for really small things and that she doesn't want to treat me unfairly so she wanted to break up with me before things would get worse. However, what she also told me was that during the last two or three months when she was looking for a job she'd a lot of time to think about our relationship. And that made me mad, it geniunely did. Because I knew she had some issues during that time and she simply didn't mention it to me. Her point is that there's lots of things that bother her which she doesn't want to talk about to anyone cause it would just make things worse for her instead of actually helping, like her looking for job since early this year. Is it just me or is it really not that surprising when you treat your relationship like a burden which just takes up time and you already have lots of other things and problems that require time and effort to deal with that at some point you feel like you're forced to end the relationship? And she also told me little things that she didn't like (like my humor getting immature at times and how she thinks I'm a bit naive) that were apparently piling up but sound so insignificant that I was trying really hard to not shake my head because it sounded so ridiculous breaking up after 15 months because of that. Her exact words were that she saw no future for our relationship. I laughed a bit... Oh. And the reason she decided to suddenly break up with me instead of actually trying to change things? She thought there was nothing we (or rather I) could do and she didn't want to put pressure on me by letting me know she was having doubts or even thinking about breaking up with me. Worst part is I still care about her. I honestly do. She never treated me unfairly except for how she broke up with me. And she told me that she still thinks of me every day. So that's a good thing, I guess. I'm pretty much very honest and open to her and told her that while I won't say no to somebody else if the opportunity comes, she shouldn't think that she scared me away for all eternity. Welp, that's a wall of text.

I'm falling for this cute girl that works as a custodian in the same building as I work in. We went out a couple weeks ago to walk around Old Town Alexandria and shoot the shit. We walked around talking forever, we went to get ice cream and the whole time I was so focused on her face and cute accent and trying to understand what she was saying that I let ice cream melt all over my shoes. It was funny though, she got worried about me being angry about my shoes, but I was so infatuated with her I just smiled and shrugged it off. We walked around for a while longer, then stopped at a bar for food and drink to talk more. After a beer and some artichoke dip at last call, I took her back home and dropped her off. I went for a hug the next week and she seemed very awkward about it and texted me later not to do that, that she doesn't get that attached to friends. I texted her that I really like her and that I don't want to just be friends. When I next saw her she had an adorable grin on her face as I walked by. She texted back that she isn't looking for a boyfriend or relationship and that she considers me a good friend. We've been texting every day since, small talk, a little more getting to know each other, and as it turns out she is still in love with her ex. I want to be supportive, I told her that it sounded similar to my last relationship and that I was sorry she was going through that. Currently, she's "working on herself" by "keeping busy". I think she wants to remain faithful to her ex and that is why she kind of avoids me. It doesn't help that her ex lives in the apartment we maintain. Something about cute el salvadorian immigrants just gets me :drool: I want to tell her that I will make her forget about him, but she's so damn adorable and good I don't want to come off as harassing to her.

Just be a good friend and make yourself open for if she wants to talk.

[QUOTE=uber.;52201041]So I'm still trying to get over the fact that my ex broke up with me roughly a month ago. I noticed each day that I'm starting to slowly feel better and better, so that's a good thing. But I also noticed that I can't completely let go of her. And that's not something which is going to ruin me, I think. We've been writing each other every now and then and met two times. I don't get the impression that she's just trying to toy with me, she definitely made up her mind and shows that trough her actions. What I also needed was closure. She made up her mind and broke up with me before even showing any sign of it. She still says that she noticed that her feelings for me were getting weaker and weaker and that she noticed that she was getting angry at me for really small things and that she doesn't want to treat me unfairly so she wanted to break up with me before things would get worse. However, what she also told me was that during the last two or three months when she was looking for a job she'd a lot of time to think about our relationship. And that made me mad, it geniunely did. Because I knew she had some issues during that time and she simply didn't mention it to me. Her point is that there's lots of things that bother her which she doesn't want to talk about to anyone cause it would just make things worse for her instead of actually helping, like her looking for job since early this year. Is it just me or is it really not that surprising when you treat your relationship like a burden which just takes up time and you already have lots of other things and problems that require time and effort to deal with that at some point you feel like you're forced to end the relationship? And she also told me little things that she didn't like (like my humor getting immature at times and how she thinks I'm a bit naive) that were apparently piling up but sound so insignificant that I was trying really hard to not shake my head because it sounded so ridiculous breaking up after 15 months because of that. Her exact words were that she saw no future for our relationship. I laughed a bit... Oh. And the reason she decided to suddenly break up with me instead of actually trying to change things? She thought there was nothing we (or rather I) could do and she didn't want to put pressure on me by letting me know she was having doubts or even thinking about breaking up with me. Worst part is I still care about her. I honestly do. She never treated me unfairly except for how she broke up with me. And she told me that she still thinks of me every day. So that's a good thing, I guess. I'm pretty much very honest and open to her and told her that while I won't say no to somebody else if the opportunity comes, she shouldn't think that she scared me away for all eternity. Welp, that's a wall of text.[/QUOTE] this is something i only recently figured out (i mean really recent like last week i had an epiphany). its hard to explain but i wasn't over most of the girls from my past, whether it be ex's or missed opportunities because i cant read people, then i had a thought that most people go through the same thing and never get over, and that i can decide to feel how i want to feel if i try hard enough. rationalizing it so i could see how good things are despite bad things happening in my past has made me a lot happier. its also made me not give a shit about what people think of me for similar reasons. if i am capable of having insecurities, anyone is, i shouldn't worry about what people think because they are just as worried about what i think of them. i think its something that people eventually go through, it just takes some strength and willpower to be who you want to be.

It vecomes easier over time. The more people you get over the sooner you realise the end of a relationship its not the end of your life. It is hard as hell to some people and its hard to overcome some people as well. One should not feel bad about that though- once you get invested in people its almost traumatic to severe that connection.

And I guess it also depends on the person a lot. Like, I was 23 when our relationship began and now I'm 25. That was my first girlfriend. Which is partially due to me not going out a lot (it's not that I have social anxiety or anything, compared to my ex I'm carefree in that regard) and me being picky. I mean, we all probably have certain expectations when it comes to a partner. I know that if I want to become attached to someone then that person needs to vaguely fit those. I like natural looks, i.e. barely (if any) make-up, and brains. But most importantly, I just want someone who's a nerd. Doesn't even matter if it's games, books, movies or tv shows. It just feels right to have a general overlap in that area. edit I may be wrong tho, so if any of you have a differing opinion I'll gladly hear it.

I've found myself quite unable to move early on. Mostly because my mindset, at the time, was that there would not be anyone else better than said person. Time would prove me wrong.

Just had my first casual hook-up in a long time. I'd been talking with this girl over the last little while, and had only met up once before, for coffee. It's the first time I've been actually aware that it's a "hang-out and fuck once in a while" casual situation, and not starting a serious relationship or anything. My instincts are to try to date her though and I hope I don't over-text her or anything and freak her out.

I'm having an extremely hard time getting over this girl I've been talking to for the past couple of months. She's made it clear she doesn't like me back, and I've accepted that logically, but my brain just continues to taunt me with very conflicting feelings that's left this liking lingering. Don't really know how to overcome this obstacle

[QUOTE=4yourmalice;52214356]Just had my first casual hook-up in a long time. I'd been talking with this girl over the last little while, and had only met up once before, for coffee. It's the first time I've been actually aware that it's a "hang-out and fuck once in a while" casual situation, and not starting a serious relationship or anything. My instincts are to try to date her though and I hope I don't over-text her or anything and freak her out.[/QUOTE] If she's worth it, sure, worst thing that can happen is that she's not interested and you'll have to make up your mind whether you can deal with having that sort of a "relationship". I do know that feeling though, the one that you're afraid of basically imposing on someone. I've had that many times with my ex. Best way to cope with that is to think for a few minutes what you actually want to write her, send that message, and then just wait for her to reply. Waiting is the important part.

[QUOTE=uber.;52218074]If she's worth it, sure, worst thing that can happen is that she's not interested and you'll have to make up your mind whether you can deal with having that sort of a "relationship". I do know that feeling though, the one that you're afraid of basically imposing on someone. I've had that many times with my ex. Best way to cope with that is to think for a few minutes what you actually want to write her, send that message, and then just wait for her to reply. Waiting is the important part.[/QUOTE] Guess the first thing to figure out is if this was a "one and done' kinda deal for her, or if she wants it to be regular occurrence for a while. As we spend more time like that together, I'll know more how I actually feel about her and what direction to pursue. Do you mean waiting to message is important, like hold off for a while? Or do you mean waiting for her to reply as you stare at your phone? Cause that part drives me nuts.

Dont let your expectations drive you. Act based on facts alone. The more you speculate about it, the more tangents youll create and the futher youll wander away from reality. Aka: dont overthink it. Just roll with it

[QUOTE=4yourmalice;52218371]Guess the first thing to figure out is if this was a "one and done' kinda deal for her, or if she wants it to be regular occurrence for a while. As we spend more time like that together, I'll know more how I actually feel about her and what direction to pursue. Do you mean waiting to message is important, like hold off for a while? Or do you mean waiting for her to reply as you stare at your phone? Cause that part drives me nuts.[/QUOTE] Sounds good, honestly. Stare at your phone or run around in circles in your flat. Whatever floats your boat.

Howdy so im not going to explain all the details but in the last few days me and my gf have been through a lot of shit, mostly because of me and my shit personality, i always said sorry and tried to fix stuff up but today i fucked up so hard so i got mad at her for something i wont mention, so i just stood there and smoked like 4 cigs in a row, she came to me and hugged me from behind but i didnt care. I then spent 30 minutes on my phone talking to other people while she was walking around trying to be noticed. At a certain point she said "wanna go back home?" and i got up realizing i fucked up and tried saying no sorry etc but she got so mad and we ended up both crying, then she handed me my shit and kicked me out despite me trying to fix the situation. i texted her later and she said shes very mad, felt humiliated and says she cant believe i treated her that way, i tried convincing her and spitting up some bullshit like my life is stressing sorry etc she now wants to be left alone for a few days because shes so mad and sad at me and said she wants me to do something to get forgiven or i wont hear back from her again because she said she hates that i never care about her etc i have no clue what to do, i thought about bringing her one of those mornings at the seaside, hold her and talk and say some romantic shit and how i feel sorry but i dont know if thats enough any ideas? whoever gives me the best idea, if it works, i'll send u a few beers with paypal thanks a lot pals

she got mad at me because she didnt want me to go on a vacation with my friends. I said "ok, whatever" then she said she was going on a vacation with her friends. I flipped out because what the fuck, really?! she later told me i could have been going with them or she wouldnt go at all but that was later when i ignored her and damage was already done

How old are you two? This seems very "teenager".

Yeah, I'm 18, she's 17 :v:

Yeah this just sounds like one or both of you acting like children.