Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

[QUOTE=Kierany9;52407221]That's bollocks. Plenty of girls want men just like that, and all the better if you find one because that means she loves you for who you really are.[/QUOTE] i love kesha and corgis and i have a girlfriend (somehow)

Where is the vagina?

[QUOTE=Kavita;52412142]Where is the vagina?[/QUOTE] Up the butt

lower than you think

I am looking for a man, for sex, if you are interesting to me then write me here [URL="http://sex911.top/marys85"]http://sex911.top/marys85[/URL] I earn well and I have a BMW car. All I need from you is a good company and sex. If the link [url]http://sex911.top/marys85[/url] does not work then copy and paste into the browser. [highlight](User was permabanned for this post ("Hot damn Im ready - Bot" - Craptasket))[/highlight]

BMW? I'm sold!

If they have a BMW they must only be able to do anal

[QUOTE=E = MC Hammer;52412166]lower than you think[/QUOTE] This, uh, this was actually true for me. :v:

yeah that's why i said it, it's always lower than guys think because guys only have weiners as references and those are higher up, relatively speaking

alright fine mister science man

I'm going to make a long post. pls read So I've been dating my girlfriend for like...5 months now or so, but tbh there are numerous problems and I'm trying to figure out if they're dealbreakers so maybe you guys can help me out. I'm used to being in relationships where the problems are generally the same - overdependence, anxiety and suchlike, depression, and so on. So I have a history of pretty complicated relationships. I like this girl, but I can't figure out if we make a good team. I do a lot of things for her that I don't feel are reciprocated. For example, I think it's important to take an interest in the things your partner likes. You don't have to become master of them or be passionate, but you do at least have to be willing to give them a go or listen to your partner speak about them. I listen to her speak about her dogs 24/7, who she loves, and I think that's great. I like dogs too, but I'm primarily a cat person. If I mention to her something about cats, she straight up does not want to hear about it. She hates cats, which sucks for me, because I really, really want to get a cat one day soon. I had a cat for my entire childhood, he got put down when I was 22 and I've missed him ever since. Turns out she's a bit allergic, and so I tried to talk to her about it and basically her reaction is summed up as 'I hate cats, I am allergic, do what you want but if you get a cat I will not be happy about it and I definitely won't be that cat's friend'. She can get a bit judgy if I mention something 'nerdy' or if I'm sharing a part of my life that I am really interested in, but doesn't sit inside her interests, she completely switches off. She's a bit thick-skinned so I feel like it's probably a joke sometimes, but I really don't like it. I'm not about to stop what I'm doing, so I'm sitting in a situation where I don't feel like I can share things with her that I'm passionate about. Also, it's really, really hard to communicate with her. I have pretty bad anxiety, and some trust issues stemming from previous relationship disasters, so communication is very important to me. But trying to communicate with her is like pulling teeth. Last night I took her out to dinner. She stayed the night, as she usually does, and we planned to spend the morning together, until she informed me that she had to go home very early the next day (She usually has to go home very early, but this week she said she would plan so she didn't have to, and then she had to anyway. She didn't tell me until I brought it up at dinner). Here's a summarised transcript of our conversation that followed: [I]"I feel like we don't see each other much. You're pretty busy though, so I get that, but I think I'd like to spend a bit more time with you" "oh, ok" "...Are you okay with that? Or are you happy with the way things are?" "Yeah, I guess" "Right, okay. I know both of us are pretty introverted, so I don't want to demand too much of you is all" "ok" [/I] Silence ensues, she changes the subject, I have to bring it back. [I] "I suppose me staying at yours would be weird, because you live with your parents." "Yeah, my morning schedule is busy" "Okay, how about weekdays? Have you considered staying over at mine on a weekday and heading to work from mine the next day as I live closer to your work?" "I can't do that, because of the dogs" "Okay, well...what about lunch breaks? I have time off in the week so I could visit you at lunch" "You could do that" "Is that something you would enjoy?" "Yeah" [/I] So yeah. It's like having to extract things from her one by one and it's frustrating. Finally, the sex is worrying me, because it hurts her for me to insert. We don't have sex very often at all (in fact we had sex twice this weekend, but this is the first time in 3-4 weeks. and we haven't been dating that long), and when we do it causes her pain. Last night I asked her about it. Turns out, it has always hurt her with everyone, but she's never troubled to get it checked out. I find that pretty concerning. There are definitely good parts to our relationship. She's a structured person, and I'm not, I'm more emotional. I think we could make a good team and balance each other out quite well. These problems are pretty glaring to me though and I just don't know if there's a resolution for them. Relationships take work, but I feel like I'm doing quite a bit of work while she isn't doing as much. tl;dr New relationship, some pretty glaring concerns, I don't know if they're bad or if I'm blowing it all out of proportion.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;52422734]I'm allergic to cats and my girlfriend is a cat person. She cleans the litter, I get to enjoy having a cat (and I got over the allergies, since we keep it clean and it is a shorthair cat). A relationship is all about compromise. I let her have a cat, she agreed to a no-shoes household![/QUOTE] The allergies I'm not really worried about, I think we could overcome that. It's more that she sort of said she'd be pissed if I got one which I don't think is particularly accepting. She likes us doing what she wants to do. I went and saw a horror movie with her and that's not my scene at all - but I went because I knew she would enjoy it. The following week I asked her to come to a light festival with me and she flat out refused because she doesn't like it. Stuff like that. The problem is, should I be less willing to do stuff I'm not into for her sake, or should she be more willing to do stuff I like for my sake? [QUOTE=The golden;52422774]Here is what I've taken away from what you've said: You would like to do things together and work as a team but she would rather just do whatever she wants regardless. You put in more emotional investment into the relationship and she isn't returning it. [/QUOTE] That's a good summary [QUOTE=The golden;52422774] It's possible she could just be astronomically terrible at communicating but I don't really know if that is the case here. Maybe?[/QUOTE] I'm 100% certain this is a definite part of it. We actually did this love languages thing towards the start of our relationship independently of each other, but as it turns out, my major method for expressing affection is using "words of affirmation", whereas hers is "acts of service", and then we both match on quality time as our second biggest method. We brought that up and she said that she wanted me to give acts of service a go, and she would give using words a go. Since then, I've booked tables online for us, bought foods for us to cook, I even cleared out a drawer in my room and filled it with some towels, toothbrush, shampoo and other stuff so that she could feel more comfortable when she stayed over. I do a thorough clean out of the house before she stays which I know she appreciates. None of that stuff is natural to me so it took some thought, but I did it. All that, and I still feel uncomfortable talking to her, because she's not forthcoming at all with communication. [QUOTE=The golden;52422774] But really you need to ask yourself how you feel about the situation and if you would like it to continue. A relationship needs equal work from all involved parties or it will fall apart. A lot of people think "Oh I"ll just take more of the relationship burden on my partners behalf" yeeeaahh.... doesn't quite work that way. You've only been with her for 5 months and you're already feeling the strain that a lopsided relationship causes. [/QUOTE] This is what I'm acutely aware of. I'm not confident in my opinion here because I have a tendency to be a bit over invested and anxious in relationships, and I don't want to condemn her if she's not that way. But with every week that goes by I'm more convinced that this isn't [I]just[/I] me dramatising things, that it is actually becoming a problem for me [QUOTE=The golden;52422774] Do you think she could invest more into the relationship? Do you think she might not want to or does want to? What do you think could be done about it? Is it worth it? These are some questions to ask yourself because she is unlikely to answer them.[/QUOTE] I think she could invest more, but we haven't known each other that long. We've known each other for as long as we've dated - 5 months. I don't know how what will happen if she does invest more but I'm not 100% confident that it would go well. She has not been in a relationship for many years, and has never been in a long term one. I think she's quite set in her ways, and probably won't turn around anytime soon and suddenly be more communicative and open to compromise. The only thing I can do is talk to her about it. So far, those talks haven't gone well. When I asked her about the sex stuff she pretty much shut the whole conversation down. She doesn't respond productively if I need to talk about these things either. In person I feel like I'm getting stonewalled, over text I'm lucky if she even replies

[QUOTE=killerteacup;52422876] -Problems- [/QUOTE] It's pretty hard to keep a good relationship if she doesn't communicate about problems she has. They're going to boil up and then in a few months theres a good chance she'll have some sort of breakdown where everything comes out all at once. (atleast in my experience) If she doesn't let you talk about the things you have a passion for, I'd also say that's a problem. Have you talked to her about that? You've only been dating for 5 months, but there's a good chance these problems won't change or go away in the future, and it honestly doesn't sound like this situation is making you happy.

[QUOTE=killerteacup;52422613]Finally, the sex is worrying me, because it hurts her for me to insert. We don't have sex very often at all (in fact we had sex twice this weekend, but this is the first time in 3-4 weeks. and we haven't been dating that long), and when we do it causes her pain. Last night I asked her about it. Turns out, it has always hurt her with everyone, but she's never troubled to get it checked out. I find that pretty concerning.[/QUOTE] Sounds like vaginismus to me...

apparently when i give hickeys they're perfectly circular girl i'm seeing basically dared me to give her a hickey, went straight for the neck, she woke up the next morning and texted me a picture saying "its just really even and spherical[sic]"

[QUOTE=_Axel;52399540]Update on this. We spent the 4-day weekend after that whole discussion together and had a good time, she was much more cuddly and happy than before. After the second day she told me she was sorry for saying what she said about open relationships and the like. It was an accumulation of small issues (quoted one being a big one) that coupled with the distance gave her doubts about being happy with me. But that weekend and the following ones comforted her about it. The bad part is that she feels sad when I go back to Liege and has trouble sleeping for a couple of days afterwards. We've been having a bit of non-penetrative fun since then, but she didn't feel ready to try PIV sex again. Yesterday, she told me by text that she wanted to have sex with me again, and we talked a bit about her thinking we should stop "making a big deal out of it", that I should stop asking her if she was alright every 15 seconds while we were doing it. While talking about this, the quoted event was brought back up at some point. She told me it really was a terrible thing for her, and that every once in a while when she thinks back about it she feels very angry at me, even though she says she shouldn't. She also said that while she does sometimes want to have sex with me when I'm away, it fades away when I'm actually here. I don't know what I can do, aside from telling her it's something I deeply regret, and feel awful about, and that I'm sorry she had to endure that. I don't know how to stop her from being angry towards me when talking about this, I think it's justified, but I don't know how to heal what I hurt.[/QUOTE] I'm having a breakdown right now. Was this rape? Am I a rapist? She told me she had done a little bit of research and she thinks she experienced dissociation during the event. Asked her the source she'd been looking up but she didn't want to tell me, she said she was afraid it would hurt me. Turns out she was looking at videos about the psychological impact of rape, and it was similar to what she felt. She said she feels lost, she loves me and wants us to remain together, but she doesn't know if she can recover while still being with me. We have an appointment with a therapist on the 13th, she was strictly opposed to it at first but then she agreed because it was important for me. I am deeply mad at myself for inflicting this upon the one I love, and was seeing myself spending the rest of my life with. This is a complete nightmare.

If you weren't aware of her disassociation, she was consenting when you asked her throughout the encounter despite her misgivings, and had not communicated with you at some point until after, there's no reason to believe that you went into the situation with intent to skirt around the topic of consent. So no, it's not rape and you're not a rapist. A lot of her issues stem from her inability to handle her condition, and that's fair. But if she at all makes you consider the notion that because you were unaware of how it made her feel, that you somehow took advantage, I don't think that blame lay on you. But nor does it lay on her. A two-way lack of communication can sometimes cause a bit of a flub, but I wouldn't consider it rape. Though I can't remember the details of what you're talking about specifically, so.

-snip-

[QUOTE=LordCrypto;52424904]apparently when i give hickeys they're perfectly circular girl i'm seeing basically dared me to give her a hickey, went straight for the neck, she woke up the next morning and texted me a picture saying "its just really even and spherical[sic]"[/QUOTE] Hot. I love when my bf does that.

[QUOTE=Pascall;52425661]If you weren't aware of her disassociation, she was consenting when you asked her throughout the encounter despite her misgivings, and had not communicated with you at some point until after, there's no reason to believe that you went into the situation with intent to skirt around the topic of consent. So no, it's not rape and you're not a rapist. A lot of her issues stem from her inability to handle her condition, and that's fair. But if she at all makes you consider the notion that because you were unaware of how it made her feel, that you somehow took advantage, I don't think that blame lay on you. But nor does it lay on her. A two-way lack of communication can sometimes cause a bit of a flub, but I wouldn't consider it rape. Though I can't remember the details of what you're talking about specifically, so.[/QUOTE] We were doing missionary and I was weighting down on her too hard, she said it prevented her from speaking and telling me to stop. Shortly after that she went into a dissociation state.

[QUOTE=_Axel;52426996]We were doing missionary and I was weighting down on her too hard, she said it prevented her from speaking and telling me to stop. Shortly after that she went into a dissociation state.[/QUOTE] That's not rape under the pretense that it was an accident. You couldn't have known she wasn't able to speak and she should be aware that you didn't do it on purpose. Like I said, it's a two way miscommunication barrier that just ended up causing a shitty scenario. Talk to the therapist and see what they say, but definitely don't peg yourself as a rapist just because of an accident.

there are literally about three bajillion ways to get someone's attention if you can't talk i don't want to say she's overreacting, but she kinda is

My ex once told me to stop doing what I was doing when she was tied and gagged, so she could've let you known another way

[QUOTE=_Axel;52426996]We were doing missionary and I was weighting down on her too hard, she said it prevented her from speaking and telling me to stop. Shortly after that she went into a dissociation state.[/QUOTE] What, she couldnt tap you on the shoulder or something to get your attention? That seems like a shitty excuse to me.

[QUOTE=killerteacup;52422613]wall of text[/QUOTE] In my opinion a successful relationship is a one where you'd still be best friends if you didn't find each other romantically attractive, if you know what I mean. If you're with a girl that you mostly look at and talk to as your girlfriend and not your best friend, you're gonna have some problems down the line. Especially when the sexual attraction starts fading with age.

[QUOTE=killerteacup;52422876]problems[/QUOTE] So, an update on my predicament: Basically, the next time I saw her (today at lunch) she broke up with me, citing she is not ready for a relationship, and doesn't know how to properly communicate and needs to work on that on her own time. I'm sad about it, but I'm not devastated, and I'm also a little relieved. I'm glad she was honest with both herself and me enough not to waste our time. She's a lovely person with a few problems in the relationship department so I hope it ends up better for her in the long run, but it was pretty clear I wasn't going to get what I wanted.

[QUOTE=TheFilmSlacker;52437416]Going on five years with her now and I've always been a shrimp, but after moving to the city I've had access to a lot more exercising shit, not to mention that I've had to lift a lot of heavy stuff at my job. I'm genuinely proud of how far we've come, especially in the past year after the challenges we've had to face together. We're opening up a lot of exciting doors in our sex life, not to mention our jobs and I'm only loving her more and more every day.[/QUOTE] Mo gains, mo problems. Or something like that. [QUOTE=killerteacup;52437438]she broke up with me, citing she is not ready for a relationship[/QUOTE] Sorry to hear that. [QUOTE=killerteacup;52437438]I'm sad about it, but I'm not devastated, and I'm also a little relieved..[/QUOTE] Yeah. Those feelings come in waves.

There is a psychological effect, basically it overrides the "this is gross" aspect, with regards to sexual things specifically. Does anybody know the name of this effect? I read about it a while ago, I know it has a specific name, but for the life of me I can't remember what it is.

i think that's called being real horny

Well in a previous post, I mentioned a girl that worked at a local resturant. Good news! We have been dating since April! Bad news! I'm getting the cheater vibe. Sex was daily and great. Now its never cuz she is too tired or sick. She has also been ditching me lately to hang out with friends(which I respect) but it has gotten to be constant. I don't over do things. We have been on a couple trips out of town and stuff. Its been great, but this sudden change happened when she went out one night with her friends to a concert and was gone til 4-5 am. The next day we hung out, I stayed the night. We went to have sex and she refused to let me go down. She is usually all for it. Then when we started I noticed she was swollen and had white bally material all over my dick. She claimed she had to use a leaf to wipe or something and it irritated her. She blew off our plans off 4 times in the past 2-3 days due to being sick or wanting alone time(which I respect personal time, I enjoy it as well). Im kinda lost right now. I'm getting that gut feeling. When we are together everything is fine, but she seems to just want to get me out the door quickly when its time for me to go. Help me out guys and gals..