Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

was banging my girlfriend in a field overlooking the freeway when two cars hit each other and spun out didn't stop us but was some damn good post sex entertainment

Anyone have a chick so tight it kinda hurts your johnson? I'm no grizzly, but I mean my dick was kinda sore this morning

sometimes after sex my dick hurts for a while, yeah. like the shaft? i'd say it's the muscles but i dont think your dick has muscles. i don't know if she's particularly tight or anything, and i think position depends on it. does it happen every time?

FP, wish me luck! I'm 25, never had a girlfriend, and I asked a girl out. Our first date is tomorow to a tea shop, kind of nervous. Edit: Meant to post this in social advice thread, oops.

[QUOTE=_Kent_;52546352]FP, wish me luck! I'm 25, never had a girlfriend, and I asked a girl out. Our first date is tomorow to a tea shop, kind of nervous. Edit: Meant to post this in social advice thread, oops.[/QUOTE] Well if all goes well, you will be posting here as well at some point

I just finished spending a week with my girlfriend after the end of my internship, it started off pretty well with a couple of nice dates and some intense sex. But then she had to start to work her summer job while I'm at home, so we had significantly less time to spend together, and on top of that she made a few friends there that she spent Friday night with while I was with other friends. At that point I already thought she started acting weird. She went from imploring me to come back home near the end of my internship and begging me for sex to wanting time for herself and saying I'm too clingy at times. Other times she wanted to cuddle, and she said she wanted to fuck when she came back from hanging out on Friday, but said it passed by the time I went to the bathroom and came back. We originally planned to spend the next week end in Rouen, but we were pretty tired by the preceding night. We went there by car anyway which took two hours, once there it was raining and we only had shirts, we were hungry and it was too early to eat at restaurants , so we spent the next hour visiting the cathedral, then we ate and made way towards our Airbnb. But on the way here she had a nervous breakdown, started crying in my arms and saying she wanted to go back home and chill. I agreed, and she repeatedly asked whether I was disappointed by her, to which I repeatedly answered I wasn't. Once back home, we tried to take a nap together but she couldn't sleep. At some point she received a text from her friends proposing to hang out later in the evening. She asked me if she could go, saying she needed to "take her mind off things" (which when questioned later she told me meant "I didn't want to stay with you knowing that I disappointed you") to which I agreed but said I wanted her to come back early because I wanted to spend at least some time with her. She started preparing herself, putting on makeup and a sexy attire, asking me if she was pretty which lead to a little teasing session. When she left I thought she'd come back early and we'd resume that. But by 10:40 pm -she was supposed to meet them at 9:30 pm - she sent me a text saying [quote]GF: We just grouped together, I don't know when I'll come back, don't wait for me[/quote] Which annoyed me quite a bit, I responded [quote]Me: I suppose the last train of the night is your maximum? GF: Yeah, we'll see, don't worry.[/Quote] Last train was at 0:50 am. At 1 am, I called her, repeatedly, and on the fourth attempt she replied [Quote] GF: Yes, what is it? Me: I just wanted to check if you were OK. GF: Yeah, we're chilling near Notre-Dame, is there a problem? Me: You're not in the train? The last one left 10 minutes ago. GF: Really? Too bad, it's no big deal though, we'll take a Uber. Me: When do you think you'll be coming home? GF: I don't know! Me: Whatever, just send me a text when you come back.[/quote] [Quote]GF: I'm coming home, I'm taking a taxi - 3:11 am[/quote] She was home near 3:45 am. By then I was too tired to argue or anything, so I just asked her how it was. Apparently one of the guys was pretty drink and they had to babysit him for 2 hours before they took a Uber. She took a taxi with her female friend to come back home. At this point she's sending a text to her friend saying [Quote]No argument, that's weird [/quote] I saw that and asked her what she meant by that. She told me her friend had a hard time with her BF these days and told her he didn't argue with her when she came back at 4 am. We then went to bed, she stayed fully clothed (with my own hoodie, even). The next morning I wake up early, trying to make sense of whatever the fuck just happened. I asked her [quote]Me: When you sent that text last night, you were actually talking about me? Her: ...Yes Me: Why did you lie to me? Her: Did you expect me to tell you that to your face? Me: You think I'm a just a millstone round your neck, don't you?[/quote] Half an hour of sulking followed, then she went back to sleep. At this point I'm fucking fed up so I took her phone and checked her texts to try and understand what the fuck was going on. Those stood out: 1)[Quote]Female Friend: So you're down to hang out tonight? Her: Yeah, I'm just asking my roommate beforehand[/quote] 2)[quote]Her: You really think (Male Friend 1) is into me? Female Friend: Yeah, I talked about it with (Male Friend 2) who knows him well, he says it's really obvious. Why, you're interested? Her: I don't know, I just let events happen x)[/quote] 3)[quote](Talking to FF) Her: (MF1) said we could come to Dunkerque -His home city- in the near future, he's so sweet ! (She actually talked to me about that but was like "Going to this shithole? Haha he's funny") I'm tempted to put on my sexy high heel boots tonight [/quote] 4)[quote]MF1: *His invitation to Dunkerque* ;) Her: Is that supposed to be a seducing winky face? ;) MF1: Haha, it's whatever you want it to be ;)[/quote] I confronted her about 1), telling her I simply happened to come across it as she typed. She caught on "I typed it while in the bathroom, did you check my phone?" So I admitted to doing it, and told her about 2), she went on her phone to check it, and laughed "That's just some high school girl gossip, we just played truth or dare on Friday night and they made us dance with each other, so now it's a running gag". Didn't seem like much of a joke to me, but by then I felt so guilty about spying on her phone that I didn't bring up the rest. She proceeded to tell me I went beyond the limits, and broke her trust by doing it, that she felt pretty angry at me. She then ignored me for the better part of the day. At the end she resumed talking to me and we spent a decent evening. During the night we cuddled, and the next morning, before leaving, I told her [Quote]Me: I'm sorry for yesterday Her: Don't worry, it's alright Me: I love you Her: Me too[/quote] I'm just conflicted, on one hand I feel like she still has genuine feelings for me, but on the other hand as hindsight adds up I simply can't find a way to construe these texts as innocent. Am I just paranoid and see things where there's nothing? Is there some missing context that would explain it?

I've lost all forms of sex drive and enjoyment of sex, and it is seriously depressing me. Especially in light of a very bad sexual experience where I couldn't even be bothered to finish and she ignored me for the next few days after (even though we were moderately good aquatinces before). I really don't know how to cope with this absence or if it will ever resolve itself since it has seemingly been a growing issue for the past few years.

Bud she's trying to cheat on you, or okay with cheating on you and "letting events happen."

That "letting events happen" bit is a red flag big enough to use on a bull.

Sounds like a massive red flag to me, I'd get out if I were you

I think you'd better bail, my man. Or, at the very least, confront her about it. [editline]7th August 2017[/editline] And I mean, confront her about all the texts. Sure, it was a pretty dick move to look through her private conversations, which I'd normally not condone, but it's pretty fishy.

That's absolutely cheating behavior. She's acting like a coy 16-year-old. Get out of that relationship.

Definitely agree with the above, but admittedly I tend to lean heavily on that side anyways.

[QUOTE=_Axel;52548027][quote]Female Friend: So you're down to hang out tonight? Her: Yeah, I'm just asking my roommate beforehand[/quote][/QUOTE] Haha "high school gossip". It sounds like shes hiding her existing relationship even from her best friends so she can cheat on you with someone else. [quote]Her: You really think (Male Friend 1) is into me? Female Friend: Yeah, I talked about it with (Male Friend 2) who knows him well, he says it's really obvious. Why, you're interested? Her: I don't know, I just let events happen x)[/quote] Time to bail. Kick her out.

[QUOTE=_Axel;52548027]-clearly a girlfriend that's trying to cheat-[/QUOTE] I know it's been said multiple times but seriously, dump her and move on as soon as possible. It's not something you'll want to do but if you don't do it you're going to end up hurt down the line, wondering what you could have done to change things. Of course, this is assuming you told us everything exactly how it happened (if this is the case she's clearly angling to cheat on you). You don't want to be with somebody who's going to cheat on you and you can't do anything to change their behavior mid-relationship, regardless of what you think or how much you might care about her. At least if you're the one that dumps her ass it'll make it easier for you in the long run, you might not see that now but it's the best advice for you. [editline]7th August 2017[/editline] source: multiple friends who have cheated or been cheated on, cheaters don't feel remorse and those who were cheated on and dumped end up blaming themselves

[QUOTE=Hilton;52548068]Bud she's trying to cheat on you, or okay with cheating on you and "letting events happen."[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Trekintosh;52548135]That "letting events happen" bit is a red flag big enough to use on a bull.[/QUOTE] I don't recall if that was the exact wording but yeah it was something along the lines of "Events just happen to me" or "I just let events happen". [QUOTE=Pascall;52548172]That's absolutely cheating behavior. She's acting like a coy 16-year-old. Get out of that relationship.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Kabstrac;52549006]Wow fuck her honestly, completely disrespectful behaviour on her part. Spying on someone's phone is kind of crappy in most circumstances, but I think you were right to follow your instincts and I would've done the same. I wouldn't back down, I would get out.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=darksoul69;52548939]Time to bail. Kick her out.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;52548142]Sounds like a massive red flag to me, I'd get out if I were you[/QUOTE] I'm getting the feeling I should have listened to you guys the first time I talked about this relationship and its issues... I genuinely thought things were getting better after several months of hardship and two major crises, but if all it really takes for her to destroy it all is to cross the path of some other dude (who's going back to his home city at the end of the month anyway) then she was not worth the time and stress I spent trying to steer that ship back on its course, and definitely not worth any more of my attention. [QUOTE=Spetsnaz95;52548149]I think you'd better bail, my man. Or, at the very least, confront her about it. [editline]7th August 2017[/editline] And I mean, confront her about all the texts.[/QUOTE] That's what I plan to do, I think I'll write down everything revolting I find in these texts and put her nose in it next time we talk. Not to mention, shortly after I revealed to her that I looked at her phone I noticed that she was deleting specific texts while we were talking (I couldn't see the screen since I was facing her, but she was clearly picking stuff and then reaching the upper right corner of the screen), when I confronted her about it she said she was just deleting random spam and ISP messages. We'll see how true that is when I'll ask her to produce screenshots of the texts I mentioned. Not sure when that'll happen, though. I don't really feel like talking to her and that sentiment seems mutual, she hasn't texted me anything since she said "Cool" in response to my saying I arrived at Toulouse yesterday afternoon. [QUOTE]Sure, it was a pretty dick move to look through her private conversations, which I'd normally not condone, but it's pretty fishy.[/QUOTE] So those 4 texts are all fishy, right? I can't think of a reasonable explanation for any of them. But my deepest fear is that they end up [I]actually[/I] being innocent and that I end the relationship out of misplaced mistrust. Maybe I'm interpreting those texts this way because I was already worried about her acting weird? This is why I'm exposing them here, I don't want to miss an alternative explanation if there is one. [QUOTE=darksoul69;52548939]Haha "high school gossip". It sounds like shes hiding her existing relationship even from her best friends so she can cheat on you with someone else.[/QUOTE] I'm not sure about that, after all her "No argument, weird" text that she sent to her female friend wouldn't make much sense if I was just her roommate, roommates typically don't wait for each other when one goes out late at night. Perhaps she told them the truth [I]after[/I] I called her at 1 am to ask her what the fuck she was doing. I just don't know how to interpret her "Asking my roommate" text, it's just so fucking weird, must be some inside joke or something, possibly at my expense. [QUOTE=Valdor;52549835]I know it's been said multiple times but seriously, dump her and move on as soon as possible. It's not something you'll want to do but if you don't do it you're going to end up hurt down the line, wondering what you could have done to change things. Of course, this is assuming you told us everything exactly how it happened (if this is the case she's clearly angling to cheat on you). You don't want to be with somebody who's going to cheat on you and you can't do anything to change their behavior mid-relationship, regardless of what you think or how much you might care about her. At least if you're the one that dumps her ass it'll make it easier for you in the long run, you might not see that now but it's the best advice for you. [editline]7th August 2017[/editline] source: multiple friends who have cheated or been cheated on, cheaters don't feel remorse and those who were cheated on and dumped end up blaming themselves[/QUOTE] I think I've told the story as accurately as possible, I don't remember the [I]exact[/I] wording of the texts, hence why I think it's important to confront her about them, but I'm confident I clearly remember the gist of them. I just don't understand how she could be okay with doing this. She told me in the past about her terrible exes, one of which cheated on her (and sent her a photo and the name of the girl he did it with) which completely wrecked her for months, it just doesn't make sense that she'd be willing to inflict that on me. Maybe she thinks it's okay as long as I'm none the wiser?

don't confront just dump

i dont know why youd bother confronting tbh

Confrontation will just bring doubt into the equation for you, and create one big final negative explosion before the relationship ends. Just cut it off. There's no need to give her the time of day anymore.

Just dump her.

_Axel you'll be way better off without the stress and constant doubting of an unfaithful SO.

I think I'm just worried I'm making a mistake and misinterpreting all this. I think you're probably right in that confronting her will just amplify those doubts and allow her to manipulate me... But it's hard because I just don't want to act and regret it if it turns out those texts were innocent. [editline]9th August 2017[/editline] I just fear dumping her right off the bat without putting her to the test will leave me with "what if?" lingering thoughts after the fact and lead me to relapses.

You're not unjustified in feeling insecure about breaking up right away. I think that's pretty normal. But, you ask me, you open yourself to being manipulated. [B]Because[/B] you feel wary of breaking up with her, she could use your insecurity to manipulate you. Get rid of her. It's the best option, I think.

Hes already being manipulated. Just one example is the weekend trip to Rouen - she has a nervous breakdown and starts crying and wants to go home. And then when you're home her friends "suddenly" want to hang out that very evening. I'm sorry Axel but she was aware of those plans and the nervous breakdown was a planned move on her part so she could go back home and be with her friends. She would rather manipulate you and act like a child then be an adult and tell you she wants to hang out with her friends. I'm not even going to go over the texts. Everyone has chipped in on that subject. Dump her and move on.

[QUOTE=darksoul69;52554989]Hes already being manipulated. Just one example is the weekend trip to Rouen - she has a nervous breakdown and starts crying and wants to go home. And then when you're home her friends "suddenly" want to hang out that very evening. I'm sorry Axel but she was aware of those plans and the nervous breakdown was a planned move on her part so she could go back home and be with her friends. She would rather manipulate you and act like a child then be an adult and tell you she wants to hang out with her friends. I'm not even going to go over the texts. Everyone has chipped in on that subject. Dump her and move on.[/QUOTE] This is a succinct A* analysis

Didn't this girl also recently suggest that she should have sex with another person to (somehow) help the relationship? Or am I thinking of someone else?

[QUOTE=_Axel;52554898]I think I'm just worried I'm making a mistake and misinterpreting all this. I think you're probably right in that confronting her will just amplify those doubts and allow her to manipulate me... But it's hard because I just don't want to act and regret it if it turns out those texts were innocent. [editline]9th August 2017[/editline] I just fear dumping her right off the bat without putting her to the test will leave me with "what if?" lingering thoughts after the fact and lead me to relapses.[/QUOTE] If you are not doing this the next thing you will be regretting is that you didn't dump her earlier. Dude, years ago I found out that my first love ( jeez, even thought I'm gonna have my babies with er ) cheated on me ( later found out that it was going on for more than a few months ) and I dumped her the very next morning. There will be probably tears, a lot of what if ( maybe it isn't like that - actually you are trying to cheat on yourself with that thought ) shit, but in the reality, the sooner, the better. Gonna take some time to get over it, you find yourself thinking about her even years after, but it's worth it, if you think you are worth something.

You went too far in reading her texts, imo, but those texts were pretty clear. If you don't feel like you can trust her thats a major breakdown point in a relationship. Unless your happy to let her do whatever she wants (including other people) then you need to be able to trust her not to, and she clearly hasn't garnered that trust. TO be honest, its possible she was trying to bug you with staying out and start an argument so you would break up with her and she could pursue this guy, and she wouldn't be the one to have to break up, although that is more of a sketchy thing to say for sure it just wouldn't super surprise me? She can both care about you and be interested in someone else, thats totally a thing that can happen, but in a monogamous relationship you kinda gotta have a cut off point for that kind of thing.

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;52555148]Didn't this girl also recently suggest that she should have sex with another person to (somehow) help the relationship? Or am I thinking of someone else?[/QUOTE] That was in May of this year, yeah. At this time she said that was the only way to continue our relationship. Then we spent a week together and she felt better, told me to forget about that. A month later the second crisis happened (the whole "rape" and trauma thing), around that time she told me she "didn't see herself sleeping with a single man all her life". We spent [I]another[/I] week together a short while after, pretty harsh this time at first (she repeatedly went to sit on the other couch and do other shit while "we" were watching a movie, she told me to remove my arm from her while sleeping because she "couldn't breathe") but then it started getting better (we had sex where she could actually feel things, and after reluctantly going to a therapist she started hugging me again). At this point I told her I wouldn't mind trying an open relationship after all, she agreed at first but the very evening she texted me saying "Since things are getting better between us I think we should remain a closed relationship. I really care about you, I don't want to share you with other girls." to which I agreed. And now this.

[QUOTE=_Axel;52555572]That was in May of this year, yeah. At this time she said that was the only way to continue our relationship. Then we spent a week together and she felt better, told me to forget about that. A month later the second crisis happened (the whole "rape" and trauma thing), around that time she told me she "didn't see herself sleeping with a single man all her life". We spent [I]another[/I] week together a short while after, pretty harsh this time at first (she repeatedly went to sit on the other couch and do other shit while "we" were watching a movie, she told me to remove my arm from her while sleeping because she "couldn't breathe") but then it started getting better (we had sex where she could actually feel things, and after reluctantly going to a therapist she started hugging me again). At this point I told her I wouldn't mind trying an open relationship after all, she agreed at first but the very evening she texted me saying "Since things are getting better between us I think we should remain a closed relationship. I really care about you, I don't want to share you with other girls." to which I agreed. And now this.[/QUOTE] bin bin bin bin bin.