Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

[quote]HEY. My data is all fucked up so you can't text/IM unless I have Wifi and I've been driving all day. I'm at McDonald's now but I'm about to drive again to --- so I should be good to message on here [facebook] in a few. *redacted* just called me about you, I'm sorry I didn't give you a heads up. And yeah I didn't mean to take you off snapchat! I didn't know why my stuff wasn't working so I was janking around with my apps.[/quote] crisis averted all of you were right but her friend (*redacted*) texted me earlier and she asked "how's *gf* doing?" and I said "i don't fucking know" because she had just removed me off snapchat (later discovered that she deleted her snapchat app itself) and I was about to just go into a ball and die because that meant she didn't want anything to do with me. so the friend called her and told her that i said that, so then she messaged me and called me. it was a little awkward explaining what happened, because only now i realize it was a seriously dumb thing to dwell over. but everything is good now.

[QUOTE=NixNax123;49633175]crisis averted all of you were right but her friend (*redacted*) texted me earlier and she asked "how's *gf* doing?" and I said "i don't fucking know" because she had just removed me off snapchat (later discovered that she deleted her snapchat app itself) and I was about to just go into a ball and die because that meant she didn't want anything to do with me. so the friend called her and told her that i said that, so then she messaged me and called me. it was a little awkward explaining what happened, because only now i realize it was a seriously dumb thing to dwell over. but everything is good now.[/QUOTE] See man, just needed to take a deep breath and let it go. Those thoughts drove you to tell her friend how you were feeling, turning her into a proxy and possibly misconstruing your feelings about the situation. On a side note, this is a major problem with social media. You thought she'd deleted you from snapchat, so you wanted to "go into a ball and die"? Damn dude, I know you're exaggerating but it's a stupid photo messaging platform. Never let social media take control and make you feel negative. Shit's like the devil on your shoulder and allows for easy misinterpretation of people's actions and intentions.

[QUOTE=Aetna;49633231]See man, just needed to take a deep breath and let it go. Those thoughts drove you to tell her friend how you were feeling, turning her into a proxy and possibly misconstruing your feelings about the situation. On a side note, this is a major problem with social media. You thought she'd deleted you from snapchat, so you wanted to "go into a ball and die"? Damn dude, I know you're exaggerating but it's a stupid photo messaging platform. Never let social media take control and make you feel negative. Shit's like the devil on your shoulder and allows for easy misinterpretation of people's actions and intentions.[/QUOTE] Oh it totally wasn't just that, just the fact that one of the possibilites on my mind was "she doesn't care to communicate with me anymore" and one of our main methods of communication was broken. It's all seriously dumb in hindsight. [editline]29th January 2016[/editline] And my friend is the one who brought her up first, I was actually coming to my senses and then she brought her up. And right then is when she removed me so I just was like "I don't fucking know" etc.

[QUOTE=NixNax123;49633282]Oh it totally wasn't just that, just the fact that one of the possibilites on my mind was "she doesn't care to communicate with me anymore" and one of our main methods of communication was broken. It's all seriously dumb in hindsight. [editline]29th January 2016[/editline] And my friend is the one who brought her up first, I was actually coming to my senses and then she brought her up. And right then is when she removed me so I just was like "I don't fucking know" etc.[/QUOTE] Everything turned out okay, so that's good. Maybe I'm just a bit more reserved about telling my friends how I'm feeling until I know it's worthwhile for them to know. I'd honestly be a little annoyed if someone reached out to a crush of mine without asking me first.

[QUOTE=Aetna;49633311]Everything turned out okay, so that's good. Maybe I'm just a bit more reserved about telling my friends how I'm feeling until I know it's worthwhile for them to know. I'd honestly be a little annoyed if someone reached out to a crush of mine without asking me first.[/QUOTE] Yeah if I didn't say anything it would've been a little less awkward and wouldn't have to tell her about this. But hopefully she understands that it was just a misunderstanding and overreaction and stuff. [editline]29th January 2016[/editline] Can someone calm me down and tell me it's all going to be okay.

You need to chill dude, nothing will drive someone away faster than acting hella anxious, especially when she's already said slow down. Just breathe

[QUOTE=No Party Hats;49634659]You need to chill dude, nothing will drive someone away faster than acting hella anxious, especially when she's already said slow down. Just breathe[/QUOTE] I haven't been obviously anxious to her. [quote](me) i'll talk to you all about it later, it was just a dumb overreaction of my part because of coincidences. (her) Coincidences? I just got there! (referring to place) I understand I think. The babe thing And then I don't talk (me) yeah. i wasn't mad about that, because i just told myself "oh somethings just wrong with her phone or something" because the conversation was left a little open. i just saw that i wasn't a friend on snapchat and then immediately went to "well damn" and was just kind of confused its stupid i know haha[/quote] So I'm pretty sure she knows it's all no big deal and I realize it was a dumb thing to even get sort of confused about. I think I handled it well!

Suddenly stopping communication for a day? That's like a regular occurrence for some girls. I have a tendency to overthink things too, but I've quickly learned not to recently with a specific person because of her texting patterns. Some people just aren't great at text conversations and/or don't like it. If I jumped to conclusions as much as I used to, I'd have gone insane with my latest situation. The gist of the story is: I had a date set with someone, she was running late so the exact time was up in the air and I was waiting for her to be ready, then... nothing. That was 2 weeks ago. I haven't heard a word since. As a note, we've been friends for like 6 months and she seemed really excited to go out, so I don't logically think that she meant for this to happen. She probably killed her phone again. I could easily go to catastrophic thinking and believe that she hates me, but it doesn't seem logical. On the other hand, I am trying to continue with life as usual and not let it get to me, just in case... I can't let it affect me negatively.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49629147]If any of you guys' boyfriend/girlfriend suddenly gained 200 pounds and had no intention of losing it, would that make you reconsider the relationship? (loopoo is except from this question because of chubbie-chase bias)[/QUOTE] Yes, I am totally not attracted to fat. For me attraction is an important part of sex and sex is an important part of the relationship. So her gaining 200 pounds for no reason would probably put strain on our relationship this way.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49636066]You gotta learn to handle things like that without jumping to conclusions. Paranoia will lead to worse issues than the ones you imagine![/QUOTE] I realize this now. Hopefully it doesn't put her off that much, but I made it seem like a small thing so it's OK..

[QUOTE=NixNax123;49637645]I realize this now. Hopefully it doesn't put her off that much, but I made it seem like a small thing so it's OK..[/QUOTE] Ehh. Seems like you were still overthinking when you wrote that last reply. Just don't do that again, because there's no point worrying about things like that.

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bruh idk how many times we gotta say this, chill. Girls are simple, the fact you're making posts like that means you haven't come to terms with it. It very well could -not- last forever, be ready for that cause it seems like this, might be your first major thing. If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

no I was just joking sorry

You really don't want to go into relationships with the notion that "this will last forever". It's setting you up for failure and the expectation that a relationship HAS to last forever to be successful. It shows that you're putting more emphasis on the actual label of "relationship" than the time you're spending with her. Relax a little bit, take it day by day, and don't impose near-impossible expectations on other people in order to give you a sense of stability.

I was just joking, I'm sorry. That isn't how I feel. I'm taking this more seriously and more confidently than I am portraying it.

Its no biggie man, were all here to help. Just make sure to keep it on the level

Her phone still isn't fixed but I'm not freaking out because I have no reason to and I have trust and faith in her. I know this will all turn out fine and something I won't even remember in a few weeks. [editline]31st January 2016[/editline] Mobile automerge :/ yeah thanks. I promise I'm trying to handle all of this as seriously as possible. In the end, it was just one mistake made during an overreaction. No big deal.

it doesn't seem like you are any more on the level than prior! [editline]31st January 2016[/editline] This might go against your ideas for relationships, but don't -think- about her. There's no reason to have the idea that her phones cocked in your head. Play some vidya, read, etc. A successful relationship is not about constantly thinking about the other person. I mean christ I plan on marrying gustavholst and 3/4 of our week were off doing our own thing. abscence makes the heart grow fonder, the less you focus on eachother the more meaningful your time will be together, for you -and- her

not sure if I understand properly but from what I gathered, you're currently close friends right now with attraction towards each other. she's asked you to take it slow, but you're already displaying "over-clingy bf" personality. like everyone else has said, if you don't slow it down and just go with the flow, you're gonna end up making her not want to take things further with you. we've all been in the position where the girl we like and are talking to a lot goes AWOL, try not to overreact and realise that they lead their own lives, shit happens, don't automatically jump to the worst thinking they suddenly hate your guts or whatever. if you end up pushing her away cause of how clingy you were, you'll end up kicking yourself over it for ages, especially if you two have a good thing going

got an unusual text this morning, the girl I like that had been seeing the mystery dude just said that she needs a new flatmate...

This might come off as kinda whingey I guess, but does anyone else have a problem with having a lack genuine affection? I've had girlfriends since my first real break-up, and while I still like what I like and try to do them good, I haven't really felt attachment to them. It's weird because I am now on top of everything instead of being an overemotional cling, I don't worry or hesitate about anything, I am becoming a flirt, and a lot people say that I've matured and all that. I just kinda feel nothing though, it's not a good thing, and I feel like a piece of shit.

[QUOTE=No Party Hats;49641913] This might go against your ideas for relationships, but don't -think- about her. There's no reason to have the idea that her phones cocked in your head. Play some vidya, read, etc. A successful relationship is not about constantly thinking about the other person. I mean christ I plan on marrying gustavholst and 3/4 of our week were off doing our own thing. abscence makes the heart grow fonder, the less you focus on eachother the more meaningful your time will be together, for you -and- her[/QUOTE] ok. this helped a shit ton. and it makes a lot of sense. the weird thing is i wasn't really thinking about her much until this happened, she was just someone who would text and call once in a while and it would be a good thing. this changes my outlook on things. thank you very much

So I matched on Tinder with this pretty girl from the UK who seems to be living nearby for some years now and already knows a thing or two of Portuguese. We've been chatting for a while now - she super liked me. But she stopped answering a while back. I hope she'll answer. I'm so ronery... :cry:

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;49644392]So I matched on Tinder with this pretty girl from the UK who seems to be living nearby for some years now and already knows a thing or two of Portuguese. We've been chatting for a while now - she super liked me. But she stopped answering a while back. I hope she'll answer. I'm so ronery... :cry:[/QUOTE] take a tip from me and get her off your mind immediately. live your own life and don't have any expectations. this way you won't be disappointed if she doesn't answer again, but you'll be pleasantly surprised if she does.

[QUOTE=NixNax123;49644449]take a tip from me and get her off your mind immediately. live your own life and don't have any expectations. this way you won't be disappointed if she doesn't answer again, but you'll be pleasantly surprised if she does.[/QUOTE] That was the point all along. I'm not getting all worked up over someone I've never met in my life. Was just joking a little.

Anyone know how to start a tinder conversation off? I feel like saying hi or hello will make it hard to get the conversation going.

[QUOTE=bigmansham;49645381]Anyone know how to start a tinder conversation off? I feel like saying hi or hello will make it hard to get the conversation going.[/QUOTE] Don't just say hello and wait for a response. Try picking something up from their profile. I think there are forum discussions about good conversation starters related to tinder. I personally go with whatever details they provide. If they're not interested in saying anything or are just expecting that you do all the work, fuck 'em. There are more. Think of it like finding a job. You get experience, you fuck up, you learn from mistakes. It won't matter because in a few days there'll be more people coming up on your Tinder, so take it chill.

[QUOTE=Mr. N;49643165]This might come off as kinda whingey I guess, but does anyone else have a problem with having a lack genuine affection? I've had girlfriends since my first real break-up, and while I still like what I like and try to do them good, I haven't really felt attachment to them. It's weird because I am now on top of everything instead of being an overemotional cling, I don't worry or hesitate about anything, I am becoming a flirt, and a lot people say that I've matured and all that. I just kinda feel nothing though, it's not a good thing, and I feel like a piece of shit.[/QUOTE] Holy shit, yeah, I have the same stuff as you. I just broke up with my first girlfriend since my first big break-up(back in September) because it didn't feel real at all to me. Like, I wanted to genuinely like her as much as she liked me, but the feelings just never came to me. [editline]31st January 2016[/editline] I want to form a new relationship and genuinely fall in love again, but the ghost of my past relationship lingers around.

That's called trauma, I guess. I've been in that state too, but it gets better. I mean you either gotta give it some time to get to know your partner better or you just haven't met a person that completely rocks your world.