Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

I'm so fucking mad at myself because I know this is exclusively my fault I could've left her alone but I pushed and I pushed because I was so happy just to see her talking and I thought it would help and all I did in the end was make things so much worse. She went from goodbye to hate Fuck. It's so easy after its done to say but I wish I could've stopped myself I hate fucking anxiety disorders. I wasn't thinking Even remotely rationally and did all of this in a bout of panic and I've potentially fucked it all up forever adhfhahah

Well, now you learned a lesson and hopefully next time you'll get out of it with much more dignity. No one is born knowing how to deal with a situation like that the good way. I sure didn't, and I regret spazzing out on a lot of stuff when me and my ex broke up. But now it's been so much time and a lot of good stuff happened between then and now for it to matter. So it will get better and you'll grow stronger out of this. Some people take more time than others getting used to the fact that it's over. Don't worry. You don't know about the future. Things change a lot and maybe you can be friends or friendly in the future. But don't think about a friendship with your ex at this time. Get that idea out of your head for at least a couple of years. the good thing about life, and rejection is that one way or the other we always grow out of it with dignity in the end. for example, I once had a relationship with a girl I was absolutely crazy about. When she broke up with me my world fell apart and I completely panicked. I did the cringiest and stupidest thing to win her back but, at the time it just made her hate me even further for it. Then I moved on, had sex with other people, and a lot of time passed by for it to matter anymore. About two years from the conflict I contacted her, apologizing for all the stupidest shit I've done to her after the breakup and she did so too. Now we're friends. We don't talk everyday, we don't think about each other everyday or even every month. But we like to know about each other from time to time, and whenever there's a festival we usually find space for her tent in my camp or vice versa. What I'm trying to say isn't that you should pursue a friendship with your ex now or keeping your hopes up, otherwise you won't move on. What I'm saying is that, no matter how shitty it may have ended, how embarrassing were your attitudes, as time passes, none of that crap will make a difference in the future. And one day you'll feel good to pass by your ex in the street, say hello, smile, and then go about your business. And you'll think "wow, to think I was one day mad about her and now I just said hello like she's just some other person", and you'll feel good. People usually, sooner or later, get in the right place in our hearts and minds, no matter how confusing it is when shit hits us.

[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;49440751]She's just doing you a favor.[/QUOTE] It was pretty mean to tell him that she was fucking another guy. Sure, the "don't talk to me" part is alright, but the rest was absolutely unneccesary.

It was pretty mean to harass an ex that specifically told him to give him space 2 days ago.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;49441771]It was pretty mean to tell him that she was fucking another guy. Sure, the "don't talk to me" part is alright, but the rest was absolutely unneccesary.[/QUOTE] If he's harassing her to the point where she has to tell him shes fucking someone else and she has no interest in talking to him, let alone fucking him, and he pushes her so far she actually has to contact her phone carrier to have his number blocked, then shes completely justified in telling him shes fucking someone else to try and get him to leave her alone. The sad part here isn't that she told him that, it's that he kept harassing her after that. Kid doesn't know when to stop.

I don't want an argument about this. I had a panic attack and was well aware I did the wrong thing. I made a mistake, I'm an idiot. I was lonely on new years and slightly selfish. I knew she was casually dating someone. That was part of the reason I've freaked out so much. Something about hearing she doesn't love him hurts. She just blocked facehook. I'm not texting her because I'm not that stupid And for the record just so my words arent misconstrued, I told her how jealous I was that she's in love with someone else, and she told me very clearly she has aomeone else, but they're not in love. I asked what she meant and she told me it's none of my business to know, which I'm assuming as sex because I'm immature. She wasn't trying to hurt me I don't think. Yes, it fucking stings to imagine my old girlfriend sucking someone off, nonetheless one of her male friends but there's nothing I can do about it She's right about most of it. I did sound desperate and sad, and I have no idea why I was trying to talk to her. I fucked up. She told me I make her feel shitty talking to me. I don't blame her , who wants to feel trapped with an ex boyfriend who missed her and isn't moving on healthily I don't blame her at all. It hurts and I fucked up. At best I can hope long down the line we can see each other. I left a lot of books at her house

Go to therapy instead of blaming it on panic attacks. And there's nothing wrong about having sex with someone, let her have her own life. Delete her number and everything else because I imagine you will do this again. You can get new books. Don't use them as an excuse later down the line.

I'm aware I'm handling all of this shittily. I'm not proud of any of this and I'm well, well, well aware how pathetic I've come out of all of this. I'm on meds for panic attacks and anxieties don't worry. I'm not looking for excuses but rather explanations. I know there's nothing wrong with her sleeping with someone else. I lost my virginity to her and I think my mind is having trouble imagining her with someone else just because right now I hold her in this kind of sacred place. That's something I absolutely have to get over. I know I have done pretty much the worst stuff every step of the way and have handled this like a fucking step for step guide of how not to do anything I'm not looking for sympathy because I did the wrong thing. I'm sort of just venting and apologizing to the world on this [editline]2nd January 2016[/editline] Honestly, I think 100% of this comes from she was the first girl I've dated and itd been 2 years and its a shock to come back to reality. I haven't had the experiences to deal with it well. That's no excuse, I just I dont know I'm young and shitty and feel bad.

[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;49442026]Go to therapy instead of blaming it on panic attacks. And there's nothing wrong about having sex with someone, let her have her own life. Delete her number and everything else because I imagine you will do this again. You can get new books. Don't use them as an excuse later down the line.[/QUOTE] Panic attacks can be pretty bad dude and if he had one its a little shit to be like 'well stop blaming your decisions on panic attacks!!' Guys, coming on a little harsh. Lay off a bit he's fully aware. [QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;49441983]I don't want an argument about this. I had a panic attack and was well aware I did the wrong thing. I made a mistake, I'm an idiot. I was lonely on new years and slightly selfish. I knew she was casually dating someone. That was part of the reason I've freaked out so much. Something about hearing she doesn't love him hurts. She just blocked facehook. I'm not texting her because I'm not that stupid And for the record just so my words arent misconstrued, I told her how jealous I was that she's in love with someone else, and she told me very clearly she has aomeone else, but they're not in love. I asked what she meant and she told me it's none of my business to know, which I'm assuming as sex because I'm immature. She wasn't trying to hurt me I don't think. Yes, it fucking stings to imagine my angel sucking someone off, nonetheless one of her male friends but there's nothing I can do about it She's right about most of it. I did sound desperate and sad, and I have no idea why I was trying to talk to her. I fucked up. She told me I make her feel shitty talking to me. I don't blame her , who wants to feel trapped with an ex boyfriend who missed her and isn't moving on healthily I don't blame her at all. It hurts and I fucked up. At best I can hope long down the line we can see each other. I left a lot of books at her house[/QUOTE] she's not your angel dude she's your ex girlfriend. She left you. That's the reality. She only told you these things because you asked, and while i'm aware you know it was a mistake, just for future reference - once someone dumps you, they have absolutely no emotional obligation to you whatsoever. They can do what they want. It's not their business to care about how jealous it makes you, and when you do say stuff like that to her, it's generally a little thing called emotional blackmail. But you seem to understand that so I won't rant on about it any longer. Just focus on getting better. Get therapy. If you do have an anxiety disorder that is making this happen, then you need to address it. If it isn't anxiety and you're just not moving on healthily, then you need to address that too. Delete her number, remove her from facebook. Stop worrying about the books. Buy new ones. If you can't afford them, get [I]somebody else to give you your books through her. Do not contact her.[/I] Try to stop thinking about her. Go out with friends and enjoy the parts of your life you've neglected over the last few years. Get in a casual relationship of your own. [editline]3rd January 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;49442066] Honestly, I think 100% of this comes from she was the first girl I've dated and itd been 2 years and its a shock to come back to reality. I haven't had the experiences to deal with it well. That's no excuse, I just I dont know I'm young and shitty and feel bad.[/QUOTE] One thing I probably should say is that what you're going through isn't at all unique. This happens to everyone so don't feel like you're some special kind of idiot. The people telling you this stuff have all been through it - that's how they know. People are being harsh here because yeah, you fucked up, but people have fucked up waaaaaaaay worse after their first breakup. So don't sit there and hate on yourself forever. It was a mistake but you can learn from it and grow and be damned sure that all your relationships from now on are going to be a hell of a lot better after you figure this one out. for example after my first long term relationship, my girlfriend cheated on me and i still wanted to stay with her. So she cheated on me, then dumped me, then went out for a date with the guy she cheated on me with, two weeks after we broke up - not because she liked him (she met him at a uni party and made out with him there), but because she 'wanted to see what it felt like'. When I learnt they were on a date at the uni, I was on campus, so I stormed over, completely ruined her date, screamed at both of them, and in a fit of tears told her she was the most evil person I'd ever met. So go figure. You'll be right eventually dude. Just try to work through it, stay away from her and figure out who you are again.

[QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;49441983]I don't want an argument about this. I had a panic attack and was well aware I did the wrong thing. I made a mistake, I'm an idiot. I was lonely on new years and slightly selfish. I knew she was casually dating someone. That was part of the reason I've freaked out so much. Something about hearing she doesn't love him hurts. She just blocked facehook. I'm not texting her because I'm not that stupid And for the record just so my words arent misconstrued, I told her how jealous I was that she's in love with someone else, and she told me very clearly she has aomeone else, but they're not in love. I asked what she meant and she told me it's none of my business to know, which I'm assuming as sex because I'm immature. She wasn't trying to hurt me I don't think. Yes, it fucking stings to imagine my angel sucking someone off, nonetheless one of her male friends but there's nothing I can do about it She's right about most of it. I did sound desperate and sad, and I have no idea why I was trying to talk to her. I fucked up. She told me I make her feel shitty talking to me. I don't blame her , who wants to feel trapped with an ex boyfriend who missed her and isn't moving on healthily I don't blame her at all. It hurts and I fucked up. At best I can hope long down the line we can see each other. I left a lot of books at her house[/QUOTE] jesus fucking christ dood, if you're this torn up over her then you need to remove her from your life. If you want your books back ask her to mail them to you or leave them at your place, but after that break all contact, take her off facebook, delete her phone number, kick her off skype, remove her off your snapchat, and forget she existed. It's not about you, knowing that you're acting like such a little shit over the whole situation probably makes her feel guilty or like a piece of shit, just like she told you. Quit being a selfish piss baby and grow up.

[QUOTE=Cyke Lon bee;49442115]jesus fucking christ dood, if you're this torn up over her then you need to remove her from your life. If you want your books back ask her to mail them to you or leave them at your place, but after that break all contact, take her off facebook, delete her phone number, kick her off skype, remove her off your snapchat, and forget she existed. It's not about you, knowing that you're acting like such a little shit over the whole situation probably makes her feel guilty or like a piece of shit, just like she told you. Quit being a selfish piss baby and grow up.[/QUOTE] do us a favour and stop trying to be so edgy and have some respect for the guy yeah we all get it including him, might i add so lets stop playing who can shit on this guy the most and actually do some helping

[QUOTE=killerteacup;49442128]do us a favour and stop trying to be so edgy and have some damn respect[/QUOTE] Its harsh, sure, but he's right. He needs her out of his life because it is wrecking his ability to function on a daily basis. Rest of the thread tried telling him he needs to stop, don't contact her, move on, and he ignored every single one of you and did it anyway. Then he did it again, and again, until she blocked him. He's not being edgy, he's being realistic.

[QUOTE=killerteacup;49442128]do us a favour and stop trying to be so edgy and have some damn respect yeah we all get it including him, might i add so lets stop playing who can shit on this guy the most and actually do some helping[/QUOTE] I'm not being edgy or trying to shit on him, I'm being realistic. This person is wrecking his life and hes willingly letting her do that, and like I just said, he's making her feel like shit because of how he's acting about it. Everybody is losing because of how he's acting. He's hurting himself and he's hurting his ex and he's turning himself into an emotional wreck because he's acting extremely immature.

[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;49442141]Its harsh, sure, but he's right. He needs her out of his life because it is wrecking his ability to function on a daily basis. Rest of the thread tried telling him he needs to stop, don't contact her, move on, and he ignored every single one of you and did it anyway. Then he did it again, and again, until she blocked him. He's not being edgy, he's being realistic.[/QUOTE] literally the guy is sitting there going 'yeah i fucked up big time i get it now I should never have done it i am going to stop now' and calling him a selfish piss baby is not helping anyone at all like its not going to happen again because she blocked him from everything so

[QUOTE=killerteacup;49442161]literally the guy is sitting there going 'yeah i fucked up big time i get it now I should never have done it i am going to stop now' and calling him a selfish piss baby is not helping anyone at all like its literally not going to happen again because she blocked him from everything so[/QUOTE] I called him selfish because he was acting selfish. I didn't hear or read his conversation with his ex but it's plainly obvious that she was trying to tell him in very unsubtle ways she didn't want to have any contact with him when he was acting how he was acting. But he continued to harass her to the point that she had to block him. Dood needs to grow up.

[QUOTE=killerteacup;49442161]literally the guy is sitting there going 'yeah i fucked up big time i get it now I should never have done it i am going to stop now' and calling him a selfish piss baby is not helping anyone at all like its literally not going to happen again because she blocked him from everything so[/QUOTE] Did he delete her number? No? It'll happen again.

[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;49442208]Did he delete her number? No? It'll happen again.[/QUOTE] she has literally blocked him off everything [editline]3rd January 2016[/editline] anyway i'm fair sure he gets the message by now. Sure, call him an idiot once or twice but that's no excuse to dogpile on the guy - that's not fair

[QUOTE=killerteacup;49442230]she has literally blocked him off everything[/QUOTE] yea cause he selfishly harassed her and forced her to do that.

I think the problem is, she shouldn't have to go as far as block him off of everything. The guy fucked up, sure, but there's a level of accountability where just admitting that you fucked up doesn't mean much when you continue to see a girl who obviously wants nothing to do with you as your "angel". It's a little creepy, honestly. Admitting that you fucked up is only step one. You don't get to play the victim when you are obviously the problem. You need to recognize that you need to change something and stop sitting around repeating "I messed up" without doing anything about it or making any effort to get better or recover from it. That's my take on it. Doesn't mean to gang up on him, of course not, but idk I'd get real tired too of hearing "yeah I fucked up" and then hearing excuse after excuse as to why what happened happened.

[QUOTE=killerteacup;49442230]she has literally blocked him off everything [/QUOTE] Really? What makes you think that? [editline]2nd January 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Pascall;49442270] That's my take on it. Doesn't mean to gang up on him, of course not, but idk I'd get real tired too of hearing "yeah I fucked up" and then hearing excuse after excuse as to why what happened happened.[/QUOTE] It's just a defense mecahnism to deflect responsibility, a lot of people do it, [I]especially[/I] when it's under the scrutiny of a third party, like on different shows or public forums.

[QUOTE=Oscar Lima Echo;49442331]Really? What makes you think that?[/QUOTE] isn't that what he said? anyway it seems I'm in the minority here, and as I haven't really been involved much with his situation before now I guess I can see that you guys have a point on reflection. I agree 100% that it was selfish and harassment but I guess my perspective is different as I haven't been participating in what you're saying has been an uphill battle so I just figured he was take advice on board. Won't snip my posts but will concede your point. Sorry for havin a go [editline]3rd January 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Pascall;49442270]I think the problem is, she shouldn't have to go as far as block him off of everything. The guy fucked up, sure, but there's a level of accountability where just admitting that you fucked up doesn't mean much when you continue to see a girl who obviously wants nothing to do with you as your "angel". It's a little creepy, honestly. Admitting that you fucked up is only step one. You don't get to play the victim when you are obviously the problem. You need to recognize that you need to change something and stop sitting around repeating "I messed up" without doing anything about it or making any effort to get better or recover from it. That's my take on it. Doesn't mean to gang up on him, of course not, but idk I'd get real tired too of hearing "yeah I fucked up" and then hearing excuse after excuse as to why what happened happened.[/QUOTE] Yeah don't get me wrong i feel for the girl here pretty bad. Not a great way to be about her

[QUOTE=killerteacup;49442355]isn't that what he said? anyway it seems I'm in the minority here, and as I haven't really been involved much with his situation before now I guess I can see that you guys have a point on reflection. I agree 100% that it was selfish and harassment but I guess my perspective is different as I haven't been participating in what you're saying has been an uphill battle so I just figured he was take advice on board. Won't snip my posts but will concede your point. Sorry for havin a go [editline]3rd January 2016[/editline] Yeah don't get me wrong i feel for the girl here pretty bad[/QUOTE] Don't beat yourself up man, endless single sided conversations are boring

[QUOTE=metallics;49442369]Don't beat yourself up man, endless single sided conversations are boring[/QUOTE] this is true let's just say i'm being the devils avocado

I don't know what to add beyond admitting my mistakes and apologizing for all of it and trying to move on I've been out of school, a majority of my friends are all gone for winter break I haven't been occupied so I haven't been distracting myself I'm sorry. I don't know what to say to help make this right for you guys other than that I'm completely aware I fucked everything for everyone out of selfishness [editline]2nd January 2016[/editline] I know it's a lot to ask but please, let's move on from this as a whole. I don't think there's anything new that can be said I behaved incredibly inappropriatsly.

yeah surely somebody else has some problem we can talk about

[QUOTE=killerteacup;49442355]isn't that what he said?[/QUOTE] No, but I see the post where someone else said she did, so it's understandable. [QUOTE=killerteacup;49442355] anyway it seems I'm in the minority here, and as I haven't really been involved much with his situation before now I guess I can see that you guys have a point on reflection. I agree 100% that it was selfish and harassment but I guess my perspective is different as I haven't been participating in what you're saying has been an uphill battle so I just figured he was take advice on board. Won't snip my posts but will concede your point. Sorry for havin a go[/QUOTE] That's fair. I think it's too easy to always assume that whoever's posting is the good guy.

also just reiterate you should delete her fuckin number but ANYWAY

[QUOTE=killerteacup;49442372]this is true let's just say i'm being the devils avocado[/QUOTE] [img]http://drawception.com/pub/panels/2015/4-11/NnbFNN5rfX-2.png[/img]

[QUOTE=killerteacup;49442395]also just reiterate you should delete her fuckin number but ANYWAY[/QUOTE] I've learbed. I feel terrible about all of this. I'm not the good guy and I'm hoping if anything can come about of this it's that someone can look at me as a really good example of what not to fucking do.

[QUOTE=Dick Slamfist;49442408]I've learbed. I feel terrible about all of this. I'm not the good guy and I'm hoping if anything can come about of this it's that someone can look at me as a really good example of what not to fucking do.[/QUOTE] Something I've had to learn the hard way is situations aren't black and white. [I]yeah syntax no shit[/I] I mean, your situation doesn't really have a "bad guy" or "good guy". You both have issues. Your issues in this situation got the better of you and made a bad situation worse, but that doesn't mean you're super fucked. Live and learn. If you find yourself wanting to do this again, remember what happened when you did, and then do something else. As said before, find a hobby. Anything to distract yourself from her. Papercraft, photography, lego sets, carpentry, hell I've found that a full time job is incredibly therapeutic in that regard. Last time I got dumped, the biggest thing that kept me from shorcutting off the overpass was my job and those that I worked with. It also helped that my best friend at the time was a coworker, so he was there too and helped immensely.