Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

After finally having the reasons for my break up revealed to me, and in what ways I was a failure, I've finally been able to delete every single picture of my ex for good. Suppressing depression is hard, but I finally can move on good and proper. Wish me luck

[QUOTE=EuSKalduna;49778128]After finally having the reasons for my break up revealed to me, and in what ways I was a failure, I've finally been able to delete every single picture of my ex for good. Suppressing depression is hard, but I finally can move on good and proper. Wish me luck[/QUOTE] One of the problems with suppressing emotions is that we usually end up with additional negative emotions when we fail to suppress our issues. It's kind of counterproductive to feel bad because you feel bad. Suppression also does not resolve our emotional baggage - it's a constant drain of energy while we try to force ourselves not to think about something. Suppressing things when you don't have time to deal with them, like when you're at work, is a decent temporary solution. When you're at home and have time to address your emotions, I suggest writing in a journal or talking to someone about your thoughts. Sometimes just acknowledging and thinking through the things that are bothering you will lessen their emotional impact on you.

[QUOTE=EuSKalduna;49778128]After finally having the reasons for my break up revealed to me, and in what ways I was a failure, I've finally been able to delete every single picture of my ex for good. Suppressing depression is hard, but I finally can move on good and proper. Wish me luck[/QUOTE] Don't suppress it, accept that you're going to feel like shit for a week or so otherwise you'll never truly get over it.

yeah, solve your problems in order to move on. if you keep them at bay or ignore them they'll eventuslly come back and kick you even harder and at the worst time.

[QUOTE=fauster;49776881]I wasn't nervous at all, she was a little bit. Shes on birth control, but yeah I went through 3 condoms and then just said fuck it, I'll try without one, and still no avail. I will definitely use lube next time though. She did guide me multiple times but when I pushed it in it slipped right back out, or she'll yelp in pain causing me to stop. Communication wasn't an issue. We both told each other what we wanted, if we enjoyed what we were doing, and gave others some advice. The whole situation felt very natural, apart from the actual penetration part.[/QUOTE] Make sure she is properly aroused (go down on her) before trying penetration, the vaginas exams a lot when it's aroused. Also use lube, and put her on top so she can control how fast and deep it goes in. For bj's , for me it takes a while until you can be so relaxed with a girl that I can cum from just oral. What always works is oral with an extra helping hand. (This usually feels better anyway).

Is it normal to feel regret and like a complete monster after breaking up with your two-year girlfriend when she's still madly in love with you? I don't know if I actually regret it or if I just really really miss having her to talk to. I don't feel like I have anybody now and it's naff

I think usually it's the latter of the two since you go from having someone to talk to about anything, whenever you want or need to, to not having that (at least with them). Might be the case that you are regretting it but not knowing the situation, it's hard to tell.

[QUOTE=Dan2593;49780313]she's still madly in love with you?[/QUOTE] the real question here is, are you in love with her?

so my girlfriend has been on the pill for like 2 years now but maybe only a month ago they switched her to a different one and since then she has had literally zero sex drive whatsoever and I'm not exaggerating and among other things she's having tons of mood swings and been more depressed than I've ever seen her. she was never like this while on the pill before so is this something to do with the new one in general or just something from switching? it's the same dosage or whatever so I'm not really sure what's going on but it's putting a massive strain on our relationship lately

[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;49782344]so my girlfriend has been on the pill for like 2 years now but maybe only a month ago they switched her to a different one and since then she has had literally zero sex drive whatsoever and I'm not exaggerating and among other things she's having tons of mood swings and been more depressed than I've ever seen her. she was never like this while on the pill before so is this something to do with the new one in general or just something from switching? it's the same dosage or whatever so I'm not really sure what's going on but it's putting a massive strain on our relationship lately[/QUOTE] Do you know what the names of both pills are?

previous was gianvi, current loryna

whats a good way to open a conversation on tinder?

[QUOTE=Pat.Lithium;49783196]whats a good way to open a conversation on tinder?[/QUOTE] "Ayy bby wan sum fuk?" [sp]Seriously just ask her how her day is, if you can try and ask her about some of her interests"[/sp]

[QUOTE=E = MC Hammer;49745000]So...that was a weird end to the day. GF and I went out for most of the day then came back to my place and made tacos (she mostly did the work and i tried to not burn my own house down) and then we watched a movie on my couch and then things kind of got heated so i was like "hey this couch is not very comfortable but my bed's p sweet wink wink" and she was like "yeah let's do that" but once we got in my room she kind of quieted down and started shaking a bit and was just like "i'm kind of scared" and then we had a LONG conversation (bear in mind we had a conversation yesterday about like boundaries and consent and shit) but in the middle of that conversation she was just like "look i like you a lot and i really want to do this but ive always been really bad with physical contact, like i couldn't even hug people until my senior year of high school" and i told her that my priority is her being happy and comfortable and that i didn't wnat to push her into anything and i didnt think she was weird or broken or whatever etc etc (i'm a good person, i know) and she calmed down and then we ate some ice cream and i drove her back home[/QUOTE] hi so i have an update to this kind of similar thing happened last night, this time i wanted to make sure she was cool with whatever was happening so i made sure to not really push anything but this time she was the one that was escalating it so i figured it was alright. eventually we stopped again and she was still shaking a little which i noticed (that's why i stopped doing anything) and we just talked about it a bit so i got a bit more insight into the whole thing. it's not that she's uncomfortable or whatever or that she's not enjoying herself. she is, it's just new territory and she's not entirely sure how to handle it. so we're working on it. baby steps, etc. i think she believes me about just wanting her to be comfortable and feel safe or whatever so she knows i'm not expecting her to go outside her comfort zone or whatever so basically i think we're in a good place and i'm not in a huge hurry to do anything

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49778592]One of the problems with suppressing emotions is that we usually end up with additional negative emotions when we fail to suppress our issues. It's kind of counterproductive to feel bad because you feel bad. Suppression also does not resolve our emotional baggage - it's a constant drain of energy while we try to force ourselves not to think about something. Suppressing things when you don't have time to deal with them, like when you're at work, is a decent temporary solution. When you're at home and have time to address your emotions, I suggest writing in a journal or talking to someone about your thoughts. Sometimes just acknowledging and thinking through the things that are bothering you will lessen their emotional impact on you.[/QUOTE] GF broke up with me like 2 months ago. Yesterday a friend asked me why i still had pictures with her on my pc and why i didnt delete them yet. I told him it was kind of naive to wipe all out and pretend it didnt happen. TO me, it was a long and important part of my life and it took a very real place. Im not gonna forget that or pretend it didnt happen, ill instead keep it as what i was and keep going, thinking it was something i won and not something i lost.

[QUOTE=autodesknoob;49786721]GF broke up with me like 2 months ago. Yesterday a friend asked me why i still had pictures with her on my pc and why i didnt delete them yet. I told him it was kind of naive to wipe all out and pretend it didnt happen. TO me, it was a long and important part of my life and it took a very real place. Im not gonna forget that or pretend it didnt happen, ill instead keep it as what i was and keep going, thinking it was something i won and not something i lost.[/QUOTE] I think that's an important thing. People asked me why I didn't just throw out everything that I had from my first GF. I had a lot of things kicking about in my room from the entirety of the relationship and when she lived with me. I put everything into a box and it went into the loft. Plenty of stuff went in there. Stuffed toys, DVD box sets, various nick nacks. I got a new watch the christmas after she left, so the one I had that she bought me as a present for our first valentines went in there. My blackberry I had when I was in college and got so I could use BBM and text for free went in there. The chrome, initialled plectrum she got me. Music she liked and the few photos we had of us together. And a bracelet with "I love you" engraved on it. Everything had a sentimental value. I can't pretend those 3 years didn't happen, nor do I want to but I didn't want reminders kicking about. So I boxed it up, put it out of sight and started trying to move on. Maybe someday, I'll crack open that box after forgetting about it, and I'll look back on fond memories.

i've got a box with polaroids, movie tickets and birthday gifts in my bottom draw myself. I find it's a good way to move on because having that kind of thing sitting around bringing back memories is shitty, but just throwing it all away is equally shitty.

[QUOTE=Pat.Lithium;49783196]whats a good way to open a conversation on tinder?[/QUOTE] My mate's apparently had amazing results lately by opening up with a, "Hey I'm just looking for a chick for my parents to bang. They're pretty hot for their age" or something. Can't remember exactly what line he uses but it's something retarded like that. Apparently it saves a heap of time for him because only chicks that could put up with his shit respond positively.

[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;49782344]so my girlfriend has been on the pill for like 2 years now but maybe only a month ago they switched her to a different one and since then she has had literally zero sex drive whatsoever and I'm not exaggerating and among other things she's having tons of mood swings and been more depressed than I've ever seen her. she was never like this while on the pill before so is this something to do with the new one in general or just something from switching? it's the same dosage or whatever so I'm not really sure what's going on but it's putting a massive strain on our relationship lately[/QUOTE] This is not due to changing this is her reaction to this specific pill. My gf had the same. Tried 3 different pills and in the end just quit them altogether about a year agi. It was an eye opener, we haven't had a fight since then, while we fought about once a week before. Her hair got thicker and her sex drive increased. Only issue was that her hormones went haywire and took half a year to stabilise.

[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;49782344]so my girlfriend has been on the pill for like 2 years now but maybe only a month ago they switched her to a different one and since then she has had literally zero sex drive whatsoever and I'm not exaggerating and among other things she's having tons of mood swings and been more depressed than I've ever seen her. she was never like this while on the pill before so is this something to do with the new one in general or just something from switching? it's the same dosage or whatever so I'm not really sure what's going on but it's putting a massive strain on our relationship lately[/QUOTE] Her new pill could be throwin her hormone balance out of wack, if it doesn't stabilize, teller she ought to switch. Try an IUD, they're a lot more convenient and more effective than other birth control (aside from just not having sex). They're a rough start for some of them, but the one that uses the copper wires doesn't have any hormones (IIRC), so it won't cause her to act different than normal.

[QUOTE=MuTAnT;49787780]My mate's apparently had amazing results lately by opening up with a, "Hey I'm just looking for a chick for my parents to bang. They're pretty hot for their age" or something. Can't remember exactly what line he uses but it's something retarded like that. Apparently it saves a heap of time for him because only chicks that could put up with his shit respond positively.[/QUOTE] can relate to this. anyone worth your time will go past a dumb joke and is actually interested. everyone else is just on tinder for the sake of getting an ego boost.

[QUOTE=VIOLATION_SNG;49782344]so my girlfriend has been on the pill for like 2 years now but maybe only a month ago they switched her to a different one and since then she has had literally zero sex drive whatsoever and I'm not exaggerating and among other things she's having tons of mood swings and been more depressed than I've ever seen her. she was never like this while on the pill before so is this something to do with the new one in general or just something from switching? it's the same dosage or whatever so I'm not really sure what's going on but it's putting a massive strain on our relationship lately[/QUOTE] Could be just the transition, or it is entirely possible that this new pill is capital B BAD for her and she needs off it ASAP and on to another one. BC pills are different blends of chick hormones crammed into teeny little pellets of chemically potent crap tasting powder. Each pill affects each girl differently which is why there are no fewer than 30 metric assloads of different pills. Why was she switched, any idea?

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;49791461]If you skip a day, how long does it take for birth control to get back on track, on average?[/QUOTE] Takes my GF several days before she doesn't mention it anymore. If you're wondering about its effect on raw sexytimes, wait a week.

Hey guys, My girlfriend of nearly 1 1/2 years moved to university a few months ago and quite recently she's been tempted by the student life. Last month she invited me to move in with her and her student friends but cut me out of the deal after saying she wanted more space, not long after admitting that she found herself being attracted to other people (to be fair I admitted the same) and got kissed by one of the dudes she's moving in with. A week after the moving in thing, she made out with the same dude who kissed her for a bit at a club and has told me that she really wants to experiment, as in she wants to have one night stands like other students. We're basically about to go into an open relationship primarily for her benefit. Now that all sounds blunt and normally one would do a full 180 at this point, but we have been very happy for the time we've been together (although her low self-esteem is the source of 90% of fallouts) and we do care about each other. The above was all discussed very tearfully and she made clear that she wants only me as her boyfriend, but wants the sexual freedom of an open relationship - I speculate this is in part to us being 2 hrs away + I do 45hrs a week in work, and she has always had an extremely high libido while sex was never important to me (we do it roughly once when we meet up but one of her exes would do it literally 10 times a day). She isn't a spiteful person but just confused at the moment, so we're trying to make arrangements so that she can still be with me but not feel restricted either while we're still long distance, as we plan to go back to normal once we live together. I don't feel that awful about the whole proposal in all honestly, more with the timing and pace of it (cutting me off moving in, kissing dude, asking for space all in a couple weeks) so it's a bit of a shock in that regard. TL;DR: long-distance gf wants the full student experience (sex) but wants me too so we're doing an open relationship, I'm mostly okay with it as I'm pretty open anyway but want advice on adjusting to the sudden change.

[QUOTE=FunkyDarkKnight;49798904]Hey guys, TL;DR: long-distance gf wants the full student experience (sex) but wants me too so we're doing an open relationship, I'm mostly okay with it as I'm pretty open anyway but want advice on adjusting to the sudden change.[/QUOTE] She wants all the things that comes with relationships, but she also wants to fuck everyone... So you are basically just a back-up plan, I wouldn't be fine with that kind of relationship.

[QUOTE=FunkyDarkKnight;49798904]Hey guys, My girlfriend of nearly 1 1/2 years moved to university a few months ago and quite recently she's been tempted by the student life. Last month she invited me to move in with her and her student friends but cut me out of the deal after saying she wanted more space, not long after admitting that she found herself being attracted to other people (to be fair I admitted the same) and got kissed by one of the dudes she's moving in with. A week after the moving in thing, she made out with the same dude who kissed her for a bit at a club and has told me that she really wants to experiment, as in she wants to have one night stands like other students. We're basically about to go into an open relationship primarily for her benefit. Now that all sounds blunt and normally one would do a full 180 at this point, but we have been very happy for the time we've been together (although her low self-esteem is the source of 90% of fallouts) and we do care about each other. The above was all discussed very tearfully and she made clear that she wants only me as her boyfriend, but wants the sexual freedom of an open relationship - I speculate this is in part to us being 2 hrs away + I do 45hrs a week in work, and she has always had an extremely high libido while sex was never important to me (we do it roughly once when we meet up but one of her exes would do it literally 10 times a day). She isn't a spiteful person but just confused at the moment, so we're trying to make arrangements so that she can still be with me but not feel restricted either while we're still long distance, as we plan to go back to normal once we live together. I don't feel that awful about the whole proposal in all honestly, more with the timing and pace of it (cutting me off moving in, kissing dude, asking for space all in a couple weeks) so it's a bit of a shock in that regard. TL;DR: long-distance gf wants the full student experience (sex) but wants me too so we're doing an open relationship, I'm mostly okay with it as I'm pretty open anyway but want advice on adjusting to the sudden change.[/QUOTE] If i were you i'd let her choose. She seems to want you as a back up incase her one night stands does not work out. Either you and her or nothing at all. I mean, i don't think you will be fine by thinking she is probably fucking another guy right now. It will probably make you feel like shit.

[QUOTE=FunkyDarkKnight;49798904]Hey guys, My girlfriend of nearly 1 1/2 years moved to university a few months ago and quite recently she's been tempted by the student life. Last month she invited me to move in with her and her student friends but cut me out of the deal after saying she wanted more space, not long after admitting that she found herself being attracted to other people (to be fair I admitted the same) and got kissed by one of the dudes she's moving in with. A week after the moving in thing, she made out with the same dude who kissed her for a bit at a club and has told me that she really wants to experiment, as in she wants to have one night stands like other students. We're basically about to go into an open relationship primarily for her benefit. Now that all sounds blunt and normally one would do a full 180 at this point, but we have been very happy for the time we've been together (although her low self-esteem is the source of 90% of fallouts) and we do care about each other. The above was all discussed very tearfully and she made clear that she wants only me as her boyfriend, but wants the sexual freedom of an open relationship - I speculate this is in part to us being 2 hrs away + I do 45hrs a week in work, and she has always had an extremely high libido while sex was never important to me (we do it roughly once when we meet up but one of her exes would do it literally 10 times a day). She isn't a spiteful person but just confused at the moment, so we're trying to make arrangements so that she can still be with me but not feel restricted either while we're still long distance, as we plan to go back to normal once we live together. I don't feel that awful about the whole proposal in all honestly, more with the timing and pace of it (cutting me off moving in, kissing dude, asking for space all in a couple weeks) so it's a bit of a shock in that regard. TL;DR: long-distance gf wants the full student experience (sex) but wants me too so we're doing an open relationship, I'm mostly okay with it as I'm pretty open anyway but want advice on adjusting to the sudden change.[/QUOTE] if it doesnt bother you, go ahead. A person like me though, would`nt even get near that kind of stuff. I thought about things i was "Missing out" for being in a relationship but always came back into thinking that what i got, true and sincere love with someone i shared all those precious things, was better. If you get the guts that this will ruin your relationship, then dont, but if you really dont care, go ahead.

I know for sure that her plan isn't to have me on the side, it's a bit hard to explain the trust we have for each other but I absolutely understand that it looks like a straight up no-no. It's not that I'm worried about, it's just that she's very hormonal and often needs sex to reaffirm our bond, so in that sense I'm worried she could end up falling for someone else. I'm okay with it being just for sex and sex only, falling in love is another issue entirely - she did fall for me while in a relationship so the possibility is there. Hence I'm encouraging her to take some time to think about it. Her happiness is paramount because she's often quite miserable around me (maybe because I remind her of her restrictive life back in our town) and I fear she's getting bored of my company, she did mention not feelig the 'butterflies' she felt before anymore but reassures me I'm far too good to lose. I can often tell she's bored around me, so I worry that because I'm always good to her and let her do what she wants she can't really break up with me, which is worse IMO. I am keeping a positive outlook however. I'm on the bus right now to see her in a couple hours, I'd appreciate any more feedback you guys have, thanks for the responses thus far.

what is even the point if there is absolutely no difference between you and the rest of the people she fucks. "I care about her" "she bonds our relationship with sex" "i dont even mind sex". an open relationship would be understandable to someone because you two feel like exploring other aspects of your lives, but in this case it sounds more like you agreeing on doing this just for her sake, and exclusively of your sake in fear she'll find someone else. If i were you, i'd cut contact with that kind of person because eventually she'll drag you into her low selfsteem issues - only to find how irrelevant you are to her. your "positive outlook" is more of a negation of your current status, and how you're being used and manipulated. I mean what is even the point, by now you're not better than an emotional crutch to someone else.

[QUOTE=FunkyDarkKnight;49799537] [B]Her happiness is paramount because she's often quite miserable around me[/B] (maybe because I remind her of her restrictive life back in our town) and I fear she's getting bored of my company, she did mention not feelig the 'butterflies' she felt before anymore but reassures me I'm far too good to lose. [B]I can often tell she's bored around me[/B], so I worry that because I'm always good to her and let her do what she wants she can't really break up with me, which is worse IMO. I am keeping a positive outlook however. [/QUOTE] Uhh, yeah, this sounds like the end of whatever relationship you have going on right now.