Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

[QUOTE=Snickerdoodle;49814592]This probably seems like a really weird request for advice, but does anyone have any tips on [I]reducing[/I] sex drive? I feel like it gets in the way.[/QUOTE] jerk off more or quit jerkin off all together.

Honestly you just gotta keep yourself busy with anything else. video games, cooking, hobbies, friends, anything. Cause just jerkin it doesn't cut it for me. Its a stopgap. It works for a little while, and then I have to do so every day, and then twice a day, and then I'm just... extremely pissed at everything for like 3 days, and then the cycle starts again.

Told my GF I'm bi. She thought that was fucking cool. We love each other even more now. She loves me because I trusted her with this info and I love her because she thinks that being bi makes me cooler or more unique or something along those lines. I'm happy with life. Its been great 4 months.

Bros quick problem situation: Basically met this girl well out of my league and we hit it off, we go to the unisex toilet ( dirty but both horny as fuck) and I couldn't get hard. This girl was hot as fuck and her bj felt amazing but I just couldn't get hard at all.. Can Valiums do this?

[QUOTE=Acid Rapper;49819771]Bros quick problem situation: Basically met this girl well out of my league and we hit it off, we go to the unisex toilet ( dirty but both horny as fuck) and I couldn't get hard. This girl was hot as fuck and her bj felt amazing but I just couldn't get hard at all.. Can Valiums do this?[/QUOTE] Doesn't sound unlikely since it's prescribed to help muscle bullshit, anything made to get you less tense or whatever could probably make your dick relax a bit too much too. But I don't know, much like you I can't be arsed to google side effects.

We really need something in the op talking about "I couldn't get hard" cases. You were probably nervous, seeing that you classify her as "way out of your league", or maybe it was a bad place, or a bad time. Be patient, and she should be patient too. Honestly, if she gets mad and leaves you I can assure you that it wasn't even worth it.

Girlfriend broke it off with me, said she wasn't feeling it anymore. Was great while it lasted I suppose, had been having doubts the last week. She said I didn't show my emotions enough. Anyone else experienced something similar to that?

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;49830612]Girlfriend broke it off with me, said she wasn't feeling it anymore. Was great while it lasted I suppose, had been having doubts the last week. She said I didn't show my emotions enough. Anyone else experienced something similar to that?[/QUOTE] Not with a girlfriend but a close female friend has said this about me. In my case, she told me it's mostly the negative emotions that I don't show enough. I'm always reluctant to make it clear when I'm angry or uncomfortable or something, and I admit I do this mostly because I don't want to start a pointless argument with somebody, or drag others into my bad feelings. This has happened several times when I'm out on the town with her. We'll randomly run into a group of her friends, and they all sit around talking about their own past experiences and mutual friends, and I have to sit there excluded from the group with nothing to contribute to the conversation. But I didn't want to tell her I felt uncomfortable in situations like that because I'd feel like I'm selfishly dragging her away from her friends, and keeping her from having fun. But she and I talked this out eventually. It just took a while, because the first one or two times it happened, she would ask me if I'm feeling ok, or if I'm bored or whatever, and I'd say I'm fine, just for her sake. A kind of eerie thing about this is that, a couple weeks ago, she told me that if we were dating, she would have broken up with me over stuff like this by now. It's only because we're "just friends" that she's willing to talk it out and actually work with me on these problems. Frankly I think she's got her priorities backwards on that matter, but that's just me.

That was mostly the reason that me and my SO broke it off too because I'm very bad at showing emotion or affection. It's an issue but I'm gonna try and work on it.

i expected that to be a problem with my GF since we're both really bad at flirting and i've always been weird about complimenting people, but i think we're both awkward enough that it cancels itself out somehow. i'm also really open about how I'm feeling, generally, and she's not, but i think we're both getting better at communicating with each other

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;49830612]Girlfriend broke it off with me, said she wasn't feeling it anymore. Was great while it lasted I suppose, had been having doubts the last week. She said I didn't show my emotions enough. Anyone else experienced something similar to that?[/QUOTE] I've been on the other end of that situation. I think she did you a favor by breaking it off as soon as possible, instead of leading you on. I just hope you don't hate her, and that you don't think she hates you. Sometimes it just doesn't work out between people. [QUOTE=Pascall;49831461]That was mostly the reason that me and my SO broke it off too because I'm very bad at showing emotion or affection. It's an issue but I'm gonna try and work on it.[/QUOTE] I'm the same way. I desire other people's attention and affection, but I just don't have too much of it to give myself.

I guess I can rejoice in the fact that I don't have that problem as it's barely two weeks since I was emotionally vulnerable to someone. Despite that it's not much over a year since someone whom did quite a number on my mental well-being, someone whom seemingly despised that I showed vulnerability.

well i finally confronted my doctor about wanting an STI check and my sexual problems, it was the family gp, was quite nervous got my blood test done and provided a urine sample, tomorrow ill get the results and what i can do to fix my situation im really nervous, ive had 9 sexual partners, my partner is a little worried and i am a little scared of telling the last 4-5 people ive had sex with that, if i test positive, that i have an STI has anyone been in the same boat?

[QUOTE=elevate;49833523]I've been on the other end of that situation. I think she did you a favor by breaking it off as soon as possible, instead of leading you on. I just hope you don't hate her, and that you don't think she hates you. Sometimes it just doesn't work out between people.[/QUOTE] I don't hate her, and she said she didn't hate me but still saw me as a friend. Although I probably won't contact her again because I think that would just hurt me. I'm glad we parted without hate tho. Before I went home we hugged and had a final kiss and she even offered me some food for the trip home. So we're probably alright in terms of that.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;49819928]We really need something in the op talking about "I couldn't get hard" cases. You were probably nervous, seeing that you classify her as "way out of your league", or maybe it was a bad place, or a bad time. Be patient, and she should be patient too. Honestly, if she gets mad and leaves you I can assure you that it wasn't even worth it.[/QUOTE] Considering he was trying to fuck her in a bathroom stall immediately after meeting her, they probably weren't concerned with starting a meaningful and long lasting relationship, but what do I know.

I'm p sure considering a meaningful and long lasting erection is all he wanted.

got my test results, clean of all STI's and anything nasty, in fact they said they detected nothing serious for general health and said im all good sexual problem wise, he redirected me to a doctor in Brisbane who is alledgely at the top of his game, so im going to try and get ahold of an appointment to see him

Had a really rollercoastery week, Turns out the girl I did everything with had zero feelings for me when I asked her out, bummed out for a while, spent time with a female friend that wanted to comfort me who ended up being amazing and somewhere in there we started liking eachother and she ended up asking me out, Now we've been doing stuff together and I can't remember what it was like being bummed

For the first time in my life, I actually met a girl who met every single criteria mentally and physically. We met up at a place where you do swing dancing and we had a blast and danced the entire night. I ended up asking her out on a date and we went on it last night. Needless to say, it was absolutely incredible, and I have never connected so well with someone in my entire life. It was phenomenal. She's super gorgeous, extremely funny, always happy and loves self improvement, travel and helping the world. Just as I do... However, after some heavy petting, making out and random adventures around town we wound back up at her car, around 1 am, where we went bowling earlier in the night. We sat in my car talking for a while and she brought up deal breakers. She said "I really really like you and I could see us going very far, but I need to know your deal breakers". So i said eh, no smoking, no bigotry, etc. When I asked for hers I could see that she was very disappointed. She said "Not believing in god" is a deal breaker. I explained my point of view on things that there is the possibility of a higher conscious but i certainly couldn't comprehend it, and i wouldn't call it "god". From there she got out of my car, we hugged for probably a good minute really tightly, kissed a few times and after trying to be a salesmen to her and convience her to not let this break a possible future together, she got in her car and drove away. She said "if you ever wanna find God, give me a call and we'll pick up where we left off" and i told her "If you change your mind, give me a call, because i'd love to see you again". Really sucks, I really sincerely wish I could believe in something like that, especially in this situation, but I cant. And it really fucking hurts that the greatest person i've ever met has walked away because i'm a deal breaker. I'm pretty hurt because of how well we connected and now seeing what could've been, won't be. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. :cry:

[QUOTE=fruxodaily;49836557]well i finally confronted my doctor about wanting an STI check and my sexual problems, it was the family gp, was quite nervous got my blood test done and provided a urine sample, tomorrow ill get the results and what i can do to fix my situation im really nervous, ive had 9 sexual partners, my partner is a little worried and i am a little scared of telling the last 4-5 people ive had sex with that, if i test positive, that i have an STI has anyone been in the same boat?[/QUOTE] I have, don't sweat it. Even if you do have something it's unlikely to be anything super serious, and the partners you'll be notifying are more likely to be thankful than angry at you. After all, it's not like you were aware of the situation when you were sleeping with them, and willingly gave it to them too with no concern for their health. I actually had to tell not only the girl that gave it to me that she DEFINITELY had an STD, but I had to tell another partner. I was so nervous when I called her, embarrassed, a lot of emotions. Within seconds I'd taken a deep breath and all was good. She thanked me and said she'd schedule an appointment right away and asked when we were hanging out next. Maybe a story of mine will help you feel better. I got chlamydia once a long time ago. Looking back on it now I laugh but it was a lot less funny at the time. I'd just ended my first serious relationship of several years - a long time coming, too. At that point I was 18 and really just wanted to see what sex was like with anyone but her. Messaged this girl on facebook who'd been commenting on my pictures a lot recently and calling me cute, lined up a date, went back to her place, shit was getting groovy. Only problem was I hadn't used a condom in a veeeery long time and I couldn't bust no matter how hard I tried, so I asked her if I could take it off. "Yes, if you want to, but my ex cheated on me a lot and I could have something, I haven't been tested but I probably should..." Mistakes were made. Two weeks later I'm at work, go to take a piss, and my tip is just glued to the inside of my boxers. I had to literally peel it away. I tried to dismiss it, but as a few more days went by the real symptoms began to appear, and oh fuck, the itch man. The itch was so god damn miserable. I went straight to urgent care, described my symptoms, and waited nervously in an exam room. I wait for what feels like forever, until a nurse steps into the room with a tray. He's young, probably only a few years older than me, and we lock eyes and I knew shit was about to get real. He sets down the tray, tells me he'll be right back, and steps out. I look at the tray in absolute horror, as there were three of these, and I had no idea what was about to happen but I had a pretty good idea: [t]http://i.imgur.com/w1VavKj.jpg[/t] The nurse comes back into the room, picks one up, and heaves a sigh. "Alright man, I'm going to be honest with you. I don't want to do this, you don't want to do this, but we have to stick these in your penis. Two are for cultures and one is to clean the lining of your urethra. Let's just get this over with as quickly as possible." I don't know if you can tell from the picture, but these things are like 11-12 inches long. In a sort of silent daze, I stand up, drop my pants, and whip it out. "Ok, hold open your penis and I'm going to insert this as far as I can. When it hurts too badly to continue, tell me, and we'll move on to the next one." Hands shaking, I spread my mushroom tip and the nurse wastes no time and just slides the thing right in there. I mean, REAL fucking quick-like, before I know it 8 inches of q-tip is occupying my penis and I'm met with the strangest sensation: pain, and relief. For 3 days the inside of my dick has been itching like a bad scab and it was almost like I had just scratched that itch. But then the fucking thing bottoms out, I let out a bit of a yelp, and with a yank he removes the q-tip. I look at him in horror and he looks back with the "don't be a little bitch" look and grabs the second one. Long story short, don't bang random hoes without a condom unless you're ok with the idea of a large q-tip being inserted into your dick. My friends still crack jokes when they have one night stands, saying shit like "Ah man, gonna have to ask Aetna for some q-tips!"

jesus fucking christ. I thought they just swabbed the inside of the tip.

[QUOTE=cyclocius;49853823]jesus fucking christ. I thought they just swabbed the inside of the tip.[/QUOTE] You're telling me... I had no idea what was supposed to happen. I figured a hefty dose of antibiotics (which came after), but not q-tips. Those fucking q-tips, man. I have nam flashbacks about them things.

[QUOTE=jangalomph;49851825]For the first time in my life, I actually met a girl who met every single criteria mentally and physically. We met up at a place where you do swing dancing and we had a blast and danced the entire night. I ended up asking her out on a date and we went on it last night. Needless to say, it was absolutely incredible, and I have never connected so well with someone in my entire life. It was phenomenal. She's super gorgeous, extremely funny, always happy and loves self improvement, travel and helping the world. Just as I do... However, after some heavy petting, making out and random adventures around town we wound back up at her car, around 1 am, where we went bowling earlier in the night. We sat in my car talking for a while and she brought up deal breakers. She said "I really really like you and I could see us going very far, but I need to know your deal breakers". So i said eh, no smoking, no bigotry, etc. When I asked for hers I could see that she was very disappointed. She said "Not believing in god" is a deal breaker. I explained my point of view on things that there is the possibility of a higher conscious but i certainly couldn't comprehend it, and i wouldn't call it "god". From there she got out of my car, we hugged for probably a good minute really tightly, kissed a few times and after trying to be a salesmen to her and convience her to not let this break a possible future together, she got in her car and drove away. She said "if you ever wanna find God, give me a call and we'll pick up where we left off" and i told her "If you change your mind, give me a call, because i'd love to see you again". Really sucks, I really sincerely wish I could believe in something like that, especially in this situation, but I cant. And it really fucking hurts that the greatest person i've ever met has walked away because i'm a deal breaker. I'm pretty hurt because of how well we connected and now seeing what could've been, won't be. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. :cry:[/QUOTE] That sucks man. :( but at least you were honest and it came up on the first date, it'd be a lot worse if you'd been dating for a while and it suddenly came out. I'm in a similar position, sort of. My family are all super religious and so am I, I guess, but not nearly to the extent they are and I think our beliefs differ a bit but it's never been a huge problem. The girl I'm dating now is Wiccan, though, which I don't really mind but I know we're basically sitting on a time bomb. Most of her family doesn't know about it, except her immediate family, because they rest of them are all super religious too, I think her aunt is a nun or some shit. So it's jut like a secret or something. I'm not really sure how to address it once it inevitably comes up but for now we're just not going to talk about it. I have no idea how my family would react but disowning me probably isn't entirely out of the picture tbh

I got questioned by several people yesterday if me and my ex actually did have sex. I wondered why, and turns out my ex is being a bit too openly saying she is still a virgin. Not that I really care if she denies something that happened, but more the fact that our mutual friends came to me and approached me like "You don't have to lie to us, we don't care either way". I was everything BUT pushing my ex to sex, one night she was very open about it and said she wanted to do it, despite both being tipsy / drunk. The next day she said she remembered all the night, a few nights later we talked about it again because I wondered why she never really showed any interest in anything related to sex and that except for that night. Turns out she said it was the alcohol, but she didn't regret it. This just proves that she knows it happened, so I don't know why she's now lying about it. But when I think back, it was already questionable if she was a virgin before I did it with her, because she said "I tried but it wouldn't work", I never really asked more about it. tl;dr I get annoyed mutual friends of me and ex now think I lied about having sex

[QUOTE=Aetna;49853703]STI story[/QUOTE] Fucking hell, my urethra hurts just having read that.

yeah that story fucked me up

My girlfriend is deeply depressed and it's an absolute nightmare, I want to make things right and help her out but it seems like an impossible task. There is no real help and it's hard to get her motivated for anything.

My girlfriend is moving house next week, she's never moved before and is stressing out about absolutely everything she possibly could. I'm going over to help her move, I suspect if even one of the things she's afraid of (ranging from the moving guys don't show up to the dead awakening and interrupting the move) then it'll put her in a foul mood. I'm getting stressed out by how stressed she is, is that normal? Just thinking about when we get our own place is now even more stressful.

[QUOTE=junker154;49858208]My girlfriend is deeply depressed and it's an absolute nightmare, I want to make things right and help her out but it seems like an impossible task. There is no real help and it's hard to get her motivated for anything.[/QUOTE] The first thing is that you have to get rid of the prospect of "making things right". Depression is, sometimes, a lifelong affliction and people who suffer from it will often go through very deep periods of depression whether or not there's an actual cause for it. Support when she needs it and maybe suggestions to seek professional help are really the extent of what a person can do for someone who suffers from depression. There's no means of just fixing it overnight and there's no real way to just cover it up and pretend like it doesn't exist because that has a tendency to make it worse. Sometimes all you can do is just be there. But if it's something you're not ready for or don't think you can handle, you should definitely have a conversation with yourself and figure out if you can really devote time and patience to someone with depression. It's not a horrible or selfish thing if you can't (some people might want to make you feel that way though) but it's better in the long run if you make absolutely sure that you want to stick it out with her.

We're at a point where we both live together and financial things mix up together. We talk about marriage and plan ahead, which makes things far more complicated. I try to be there for her and I support her in any possible way but it just looks like she isn't really willing to do anything to change her situation. As for the moment she is in this depressive loop where she doesn't have the will to do anything. She got a job now where I'm glad but it's only for 16 hours a week and half of the time she isn't going. Furthermore at home she does jack shit. She said she would at least help with the household but she does a bare minimum while I pay for everything and manage most of our stuff. I support her and try to be there for her but yesterday we had this talk because she simply ignored everything and she isn't talking to me. She ended up crying and having some really dark thoughts. I know how it feels because one time when I was unemployed and I pretty much failed at everything, I was in the same loop. You don't want to do anything and just hide yourself, living in misery. It's not the right way. Just right now she always talks about having a serious relationship and building a future together. How am I supposed to believe in such a concept if she doesn't do anything. She says she can't put up with the pressure at work because her life is such an eternal misery, she cannot cope with issues well and she needs professional help. This help is denied by healthcare, nor do her parents or anybody else want to help her out financially. I cannot pay for all of this either. It's a cycle that is unending. I know that I made the right choice when I got a decent job and started turning into somewhat of a human being again. Having a steady schedule and generally being occupied, it helps a lot but she doesn't believe in that. I'm sure that this might not work for everybody but feeling useful and being liked by people does help quite a bit. I'm not sure what to do at this moment.