Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

Hey guys. So I've been with my girlfriend for about 5 months and been close with her for about a year. So we get along great when she's feeling good. And our relationship is fantastic when its good. However sadly its not always great; now its not good more often than not. She is constantly in need of my attention and expects me to spend all my free time talking with her and hanging out with her; she even gets upset when I do work for Uni instead of talking to her. I could handle it for a good 4 months but in the last month its really starting to get too me because I wanna be able to get back to some of my hobbies and hang out with friends occasionally instead of always her. But she always gets annoyed or jealous at that. I haven't brought it up with her. Also she suffers from depression and usually once or twice a day she gets in a really depressed mood and is really snarky and just plain mean. I can understand that she's depressed but when she's actually rude too me or hurtful I can't just see it as a result of depression. She means so much too me but this is getting really hard to keep maintaining; and like I said when things are good its amazing. What should I do?

[QUOTE=bs8814;49944353]Hey guys. So I've been with my girlfriend for about 5 months and been close with her for about a year. So we get along great when she's feeling good. And our relationship is fantastic when its good. However sadly its not always great; now its not good more often than not. She is constantly in need of my attention and expects me to spend all my free time talking with her and hanging out with her; she even gets upset when I do work for Uni instead of talking to her. I could handle it for a good 4 months but in the last month its really starting to get too me because I wanna be able to get back to some of my hobbies and hang out with friends occasionally instead of always her. But she always gets annoyed or jealous at that. I haven't brought it up with her. Also she suffers from depression and usually once or twice a day she gets in a really depressed mood and is really snarky and just plain mean. I can understand that she's depressed but when she's actually rude too me or hurtful I can't just see it as a result of depression. She means so much too me but this is getting really hard to keep maintaining; and like I said when things are good its amazing. What should I do?[/QUOTE] Step 1: talk to her about it. Can't really say when the best time is, but if you don't talk to her about it then you can't really complain about it more than once. Step 2: reliant on result of 1.

[QUOTE=bs8814;49944353]Hey guys. So I've been with my girlfriend for about 5 months and been close with her for about a year. So we get along great when she's feeling good. And our relationship is fantastic when its good. However sadly its not always great; now its not good more often than not. She is constantly in need of my attention and expects me to spend all my free time talking with her and hanging out with her; she even gets upset when I do work for Uni instead of talking to her. I could handle it for a good 4 months but in the last month its really starting to get too me because I wanna be able to get back to some of my hobbies and hang out with friends occasionally instead of always her. But she always gets annoyed or jealous at that. I haven't brought it up with her. Also she suffers from depression and usually once or twice a day she gets in a really depressed mood and is really snarky and just plain mean. I can understand that she's depressed but when she's actually rude too me or hurtful I can't just see it as a result of depression. She means so much too me but this is getting really hard to keep maintaining; and like I said when things are good its amazing. What should I do?[/QUOTE] Had this exact sort of relationship with a girl for about 4 months. Got sick of it and broke it off with her because I couldn't take it. Her depression just became an excuse for her to be a bitch and her jealousy of me having hobbies and an 80hr a week job drove me insane. Me leaving at 4am for a 18 hour day ahead of me became a fucking endeavor because of spouts of "you care about your job more than me" or, "you don't love me enough", and shit like that. I work far to hard and far to long to come home to an SO thats going to bitch at me that I work too much. I know that most people here will say that a relationship like that is to be expected with someone with depression and that you should just put up with it because they're still a beautiful person despite it and they can't help it yadayadayadayada.... A relationship like that is toxic and wont end well. If shes getting in the way of you being yourself, or worse, in the way of your work and/or college despite being asked not to, then you need to break it off or slow down with her. [editline]16th March 2016[/editline] I know people here don't like the thought of breaking up and want to work relationships out but not all relationships are worth repairing.

[img]https://i.imgur.com/qhO235D.png[/img] nopenopenope

You're raking them in, christ.

I also got a message from a guy who reminded me that I'm a cute gamer girl three times in his first message and mentions on his profile that he is a "cunning linguist". These are just the people who are intelligent enough to type a grammatically correct sentence, too - I haven't even read the profiles that are in chatspeak or run-on sentences.

Girlfriend hinted towards possible anal in the future after previously being an absolute no towards it. I'm not even really interested in the buttsex, but still a lil' giddy over the change-of-heart.

[QUOTE=Riller;49947247]Girlfriend hinted towards possible anal in the future after previously being an absolute no towards it. I'm not even really interested in the buttsex, but still a lil' giddy over the change-of-heart.[/QUOTE] Definitely the most overrated sexual deviancy tbh. I remember feeling similar to a kid who just found out Santa Claus wasn't real, like I'd been lied to my entire life lol

Had my girlfriend call me daddy for the first time.. Definitely not a bad thing by me, just wasn't expecting it cause her exact words were "I'd never be able to say it with a straight face" and then proved herself wrong :smile: Aaaaaand she wanted me to be really dominant so I attempted putting my hand around her neck, applying slight pressure, come to find out, she really loved it. But anywho, 2 questions I have to ask. Good lubes that are safe with condoms that don't get dry too quickly? And how to last a bit longer? Really wanna figure this out because we HAVE to use protection every time since she can't get on birth control yet. Also planning on stocking up on Plan B pills just in case.

[QUOTE=Zerokateo;49948209]I attempted putting my hand around her neck, applying slight pressure, come to find out, she really loved it. [/QUOTE] i'm super sure that ever girl is into this, even just a little bit.

[QUOTE=Pat.Lithium;49948303]i'm super sure that ever girl is into this, even just a little bit.[/QUOTE] Never tried it until yesterday though, was never really comfortable when I was 16/17.

[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;49944539]Step 1: talk to her about it. Can't really say when the best time is, but if you don't talk to her about it then you can't really complain about it more than once. Step 2: reliant on result of 1.[/QUOTE] So I brought up the depression thing with her and she basically got super defensive and kept saying everyone gets angry at her for being depressed. I kept saying that I'm on your side but sometimes the things you say can be hurtful. And she ended the convo by saying I'm not on her side. [editline]17th March 2016[/editline] Basically she doesn't think she does anything and I'm just angry at her for being depressed.

So I lurk this thread quite a bit but I've never posted in here, honestly I just would like some advice right now from people completely outside of my friend circle. So me and my girlfriend of a couple months get a-long pretty well together, we can talk to each-other for hours about mindless shit and it doesn't get boring, we got quite a few common interests and hobbies, and the sex is pretty good and frequent so there's no complaints there. So yeah overall I really enjoy this relationship we've got (especially after being in some kinda sketchy ones before her) and this brings me to my problem well, she's had pretty bad anxiety all her life, she's a very socially confident person and is really good at making new friends but she very rarely get's like serious, and even then it's always from an outsiders perspective, so I always got the impression she's kept her problems very close to herself and nobody else (she doesn't even like talking to me about that stuff either). Anyway she told me she used to cut herself a bit on her left wrist when she was younger (and you can still see the scars), and I swear (not 100%) that I've started to notice more cuts on her wrist then their was before, and I'm just not sure how to approach her about it.

[QUOTE=Slim Charles;49949319]So I lurk this thread quite a bit but I've never posted in here, honestly I just would like some advice right now from people completely outside of my friend circle. So me and my girlfriend of a couple months get a-long pretty well together, we can talk to each-other for hours about mindless shit and it doesn't get boring, we got quite a few common interests and hobbies, and the sex is pretty good and frequent so there's no complaints there. So yeah overall I really enjoy this relationship we've got (especially after being in some kinda sketchy ones before her) and this brings me to my problem well, she's had pretty bad anxiety all her life, she's a very socially confident person and is really good at making new friends but she very rarely get's like serious, and even then it's always from an outsiders perspective, so I always got the impression she's kept her problems very close to herself and nobody else (she doesn't even like talking to me about that stuff either). Anyway she told me she used to cut herself a bit on her left wrist when she was younger (and you can still see the scars), and I swear (not 100%) that I've started to notice more cuts on her wrist then their was before, and I'm just not sure how to approach her about it.[/QUOTE] Honestly the only thing you can do is make it abundantly clear that you're supportive and available if she wants to talk or anything. My ex also used to cut and a few months into our relationship when she was getting ready to move the state with her parents I noticed she had fresh cuts on her arm, she just got defensive and didn't want to talk about it but I just said if she gets upset or anything she can call me any time and I'll take care of it. I imagine your girlfriend will probably have a similar response: defensive and not very open to discussion. All you can do is be understanding rather than judgmental and make yourself available without giving off the vibe that you're irritated you have to put up with this sort of thing. [editline]17th March 2016[/editline] At the end of the day she's a big girl and nothing you can say will magically make her decide to stop. She'll just have to learn to cope with her emotions better and hopefully you can be an outlet to help her do so.

[QUOTE=bs8814;49949028]So I brought up the depression thing with her and she basically got super defensive and kept saying everyone gets angry at her for being depressed. I kept saying that I'm on your side but sometimes the things you say can be hurtful. And she ended the convo by saying I'm not on her side. [editline]17th March 2016[/editline] Basically she doesn't think she does anything and I'm just angry at her for being depressed.[/QUOTE] Might sound harsh but I recommend hitting the eject button. Just based on her behaviour (and myself having spent a long time with a girl very similar to her), I would say it's really not worth it. Especially if you're fighting more than you're getting along. Seriously, what's the point in spending time with someone if it's going to upset both of you? Obligation? Itll suck at first, but spoiler alert if she's awful at communication and cooperation, things aren't going to get any better.

[QUOTE=bs8814;49949028]So I brought up the depression thing with her and she basically got super defensive and kept saying everyone gets angry at her for being depressed. I kept saying that I'm on your side but sometimes the things you say can be hurtful. And she ended the convo by saying I'm not on her side. [editline]17th March 2016[/editline] Basically she doesn't think she does anything and I'm just angry at her for being depressed.[/QUOTE] Would you happen to know if she's ever been diagnosed as borderline? This doesn't just sound like a depression-related issue.

[QUOTE=srobins;49948056]Definitely the most overrated sexual deviancy tbh. I remember feeling similar to a kid who just found out Santa Claus wasn't real, like I'd been lied to my entire life lol[/QUOTE] It's more the fact that she's being more open and adventurous that I'm hyped about. For the last year it's been my job to propose new stuff in bed every single time with a "Eeehhh I'm not sure.." sort of response to it, so her taking initiative to something sex-relating is pretty rad.

[QUOTE=bs8814;49949028]So I brought up the depression thing with her and she basically got super defensive and kept saying everyone gets angry at her for being depressed. I kept saying that I'm on your side but sometimes the things you say can be hurtful. And she ended the convo by saying I'm not on her side. [editline]17th March 2016[/editline] Basically she doesn't think she does anything and I'm just angry at her for being depressed.[/QUOTE] Yeah... I'm sorry but for one reason for another, may not even be related to anything you did or didn't do, she doesn't trust you and won't take responsibility for her actions. A healthy relationship [I]relies[/I] on communication and trust, and she's refusing both. You can stick it out and try to build that if you just really want to but honestly if she's not willing to open up [I]at all[/I] then for your sake you just need to bail.

I can say with absolute certainty that my girlfriend will never ever be into any Dad play or whatever it's called. It was ascertained to me at her brothers wedding, when her Dad came over and said really loudly; "Come on ***, have a dance! Its your song!" and he danced with her to "Blurred Lines". May well have been the highlight of the whole wedding.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49946896][img]https://i.imgur.com/qhO235D.png[/img] nopenopenope[/QUOTE] What is this? Tinder? I can hardly believe how different Tinder is as a woman. My girlfriend was showing me her account from before we started dating, and it is just incredible. I had, like, twenty or so conversations on mine, yeah? She had over six hundred! Just endless rows of random dudes sending her weird shit she never replied to. Most of them were awkward, some of them were amazing. One dude had a profile picture where he was holding a baby panda, and my girl sent him: "Oh my god! Is that a real panda?!" He replied: "yeah bitch suck my fat cock" That was the entire conversation. Anything else would have cheapened the moment. How it ended up being me she got interested in I'll never know, but we just celebrated our two year anniversary!

Are you still with that "itty bitty weeb" girl, BDA?

[QUOTE=cyclocius;49950568]I can say with absolute certainty that my girlfriend will never ever be into any Dad play or whatever it's called. It was ascertained to me at her brothers wedding, when her Dad came over and said really loudly; "Come on ***, have a dance! Its your song!" and he danced with her to "I know you want it". May well have been the highlight of the whole wedding.[/QUOTE] Ohmygod speaking of marriage, couple of things. One, saw two of my friends get engaged this past weekend, it was awesome. But what totally made the whole thing was another friend who was not only told beforehand (unlike most of us who had no idea) that it was happening, but it happened 30 minutes early and she completely space-cadeted and forgot it was happening and [I]still[/I] had her 100% unfiltered reacton. I wish I could embed damn facebook videos because its amazing. Also, I'm gonna pop the question. My life has exponentially improved through her help, and hers has improved with mine. We fit with each other well, we support each other, we build each other up and we both can't imagine a future without the other. When we move out in either late may/june, as soon as I get a moment free I'm going to drop on one knee and ask her to marry me. I've been shopping for a ring, I know what [I]style[/I] of ring to get her but I'm having a hard time finding one that fits the style. But I will find one.

[QUOTE=S31-Syntax;49950713]Ohmygod speaking of marriage, couple of things. One, saw two of my friends get engaged this past weekend, it was awesome. But what totally made the whole thing was another friend who was not only told beforehand (unlike most of us who had no idea) that it was happening, but it happened 30 minutes early and she completely space-cadeted and forgot it was happening and [I]still[/I] had her 100% unfiltered reacton. I wish I could embed damn facebook videos because its amazing. Also, I'm gonna pop the question. My life has exponentially improved through her help, and hers has improved with mine. We fit with each other well, we support each other, we build each other up and we both can't imagine a future without the other. When we move out in either late may/june, as soon as I get a moment free I'm going to drop on one knee and ask her to marry me. I've been shopping for a ring, I know what [I]style[/I] of ring to get her but I'm having a hard time finding one that fits the style. But I will find one.[/QUOTE] I'm thinking I'm gonna do that soon too. Just gotta: Ask her father Get a ring Think up a good setup

[QUOTE=Birdman101;49950805]I'm thinking I'm gonna do that soon too. Just gotta: [B]Ask her father[/B] Get a ring Think up a good setup[/QUOTE] tbh that's really possessive, she's not her father's property - nor yours. you don't need to ask him "permission" imo.

It's a tradition thing. Lots of families see it as a sign of respect. It's not always a possessive act.

Aye, I'm probably going to end up asking my girlfriends Mum first, her Dad lives in Australia and is so little a part of her life outside of a monthly email asking if she needs anything.

[QUOTE=bdd458;49951259]tbh that's really possessive, she's not her father's property - nor yours. you don't need to ask him "permission" imo.[/QUOTE] You don't need to, but it's a meaningful gesture and given that marriage is largely a symbolic ceremonial ordeal, it's probably a good idea to go through all the motions. I'm sure the father would appreciate it, and if he says no you can just tell him to fuck off and propose anyway. It's just a gesture to him, really.

[QUOTE=srobins;49951871]You don't need to, but it's a meaningful gesture and given that marriage is largely a symbolic ceremonial ordeal, it's probably a good idea to go through all the motions. I'm sure the father would appreciate it, and if he says no you can just tell him to fuck off and propose anyway. It's just a gesture to him, really.[/QUOTE] Exactly. The whole point of the wedding is a massive dedicated ceremony celebrating the joining of two families. If you didn't care about the ceremony and just wanted to get married then you just go to the courthouse, sign the shit, and talk to the judge. Bam. Married. No frills. I'm going to ask her father simply because it would be [I]nice[/I] if I had his blessing because its always good to be on good terms with in-laws, but I'm also making it damn clear that I don't [I]need[/I] a damn thing from him. I'm proposing with or without his approval. I'll probably get his blessing anyway because we're tight but you gotta make your position clear.

Trying to break up with someone for what's essentially the first time. Not sure how exactly to go about doing this. LDR (2hr drive) of roughly three months. Any advice?

Jesus Christ, that worm of a kid who I was talking about prior decided to message me trying to talk like civil people. Are you kidding me? This guy who's tried to move in on my ex while we were together is trying to act like the good guy in this. I don't know if he's scared of me hurting him or he's trying to get a rise out of me but what is his problem? I straight up responded and made it clear he shouldn't contact me and his friend messaged me telling me not to threaten him and that we wouldn't be hearing from either of them again. WTF is wrong with these people, I've decided I want nothing to do with either my ex or anyone she knows. I don't want to be involved in their shit life. Edit: To give you some background on this kid he put all his effort in trying to worm his way into my then GF's life to which he succeeded causing my relationship to suffer tremendously. Even after I asked him to back off because he was causing problems he agreed to then did the complete opposite. For reasons unknown he decided to make someone else's relationship his buisseness, this guys a literal parasite.