Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

Bang on the copier. Accidentally press the copy-one-thousand-copies button. Zany hijinks will ensue.

I did never think Tinder would ever work. Almost a month ago I found a giel and we have been dating her for like 4 days in a row and today will probably be the same. Feels good man, first time going so far with a girl and we are both cool together.

Even though tinder is pretty much like finding a needle in a haystack, you do hear these stories quite often. I stopped using it a couple of months ago but I remembered that actually going on a date every once in a while really helps you with your social skills and confidence, even though the dates themselves might turn out to be pretty shitty. Speaking of dating, what do you guys generally think of those pickup artists? I regularly watch this guy called tyler from rsd. This guy actually has a really inspiring view on how you should actually work on yourself before you can actually attract a quality men/women, by being positive minded, eating healthy, exercising and generally investing in your future self. He even makes jokes about himself being a balding ginger who can actually pick up girls about anywhere, just because of his appearance and attitude. He proves that anyone can get a quality lover, especially if you put time and effort in yourself. I don't think anyone could deny that there is a lot of truth in there: how can you expect someone to put time & effort in you if you don't even do it yourself. That Julian guy is crazy though. The shit he pulled off when he was pushing girls to have sex was really low.

[QUOTE=thermobaric;50051250]Even though tinder is pretty much like finding a needle in a haystack, you do hear these stories quite often. I stopped using it a couple of months ago but I remembered that actually going on a date every once in a while really helps you with your social skills and confidence, even though the dates themselves might turn out to be pretty shitty. Speaking of dating, what do you guys generally think of those pickup artists? I regularly watch this guy called tyler from rsd. This guy actually has a really inspiring view on how you should actually work on yourself before you can actually attract a quality men/women, by being positive minded, eating healthy, exercising and generally investing in your future self. He even makes jokes about himself being a balding ginger who can actually pick up girls about anywhere, just because of his appearance and attitude. He proves that anyone can get a quality lover, especially if you put time and effort in yourself. I don't think anyone could deny that there is a lot of truth in there: how can you expect someone to put time & effort in you if you don't even do it yourself. That Julian guy is crazy though. The shit he pulled off when he was pushing girls to have sex was really low.[/QUOTE] imo there's better places to get the same information from pick-up artists without having to trudge through the weirdly manipulative and hateful lens they see the world through. A lot of the principles PUA advocate are aligned with mainstream self-help ideology and are principles you can learn and apply via more reputable and articulate authors while avoiding the weird PUA mindset where you're following a strict game-plan rather than just enjoying the company of other human beings.

[QUOTE=thermobaric;50039122]It's probably to prevent employees from acting like lovebirds instead of actually working. As long as you act professional it'll be fine.[/QUOTE] It's because if they end up having a bad break up it can fuck up their professional relationship and drag others into it as well.

[QUOTE=plunger435;50052187]It's because if they end up having a bad break up it can fuck up their professional relationship and drag others into it as well.[/QUOTE] Don't shit where you eat as my mother would say.

[QUOTE=thermobaric;50051250]Even though tinder is pretty much like finding a needle in a haystack, you do hear these stories quite often. I stopped using it a couple of months ago but I remembered that actually going on a date every once in a while really helps you with your social skills and confidence, even though the dates themselves might turn out to be pretty shitty. Speaking of dating, what do you guys generally think of those pickup artists? I regularly watch this guy called tyler from rsd. This guy actually has a really inspiring view on how you should actually work on yourself before you can actually attract a quality men/women, by being positive minded, eating healthy, exercising and generally investing in your future self. He even makes jokes about himself being a balding ginger who can actually pick up girls about anywhere, just because of his appearance and attitude. He proves that anyone can get a quality lover, especially if you put time and effort in yourself. I don't think anyone could deny that there is a lot of truth in there: how can you expect someone to put time & effort in you if you don't even do it yourself. That Julian guy is crazy though. The shit he pulled off when he was pushing girls to have sex was really low.[/QUOTE] What is a "quality woman"?

I guess that's different for every person but overall a women who you have real chemistry with, who you are really attracted to, who has a strong personality which fills your flaws (and the other way around too, of course) and has a lot of the same views you have on life. Your personal 10/10, and not just the looks but the actual whole picture. Of course nobody is perfect but that doesn't mean you can't pursue it.

[QUOTE=thermobaric;50053276]I guess that's different for every person but overall a women who you have real chemistry with, who you are really attracted to, who has a strong personality which fills your flaws (and the other way around too, of course) and has a lot of the same views you have on life. Your personal 10/10, and not just the looks but the actual whole picture. Of course nobody is perfect but that doesn't mean you can't pursue it.[/QUOTE] Why in the world would you pursue an SO by random chance then (ie meeting on the street)? If you're looking for overall compatibility, wouldn't a dating site where you answer questions and are matched on them, or meeting friends of friends, be a better idea?

[QUOTE=Disseminate;50059719]Why in the world would you pursue an SO by random chance then (ie meeting on the street)? If you're looking for overall compatibility, wouldn't a dating site where you answer questions and are matched on them, or meeting friends of friends, be a better idea?[/QUOTE] Just speaking from personal experience, I have found about five different guys on OKC who I considered physically attractive (after having a profile active for about a month), and meet about five attractive guys a day just at my rock climbing gym. And the guys at my gym tend to be easier to talk to.

[QUOTE=Disseminate;50059719]Why in the world would you pursue an SO by random chance then (ie meeting on the street)? If you're looking for overall compatibility, wouldn't a dating site where you answer questions and are matched on them, or meeting friends of friends, be a better idea?[/QUOTE] Well first off, finding a girl/boyfriend is really random. You just have to happen to walk into a potential one when meeting friends of friends or on a dating site. I personally find dating sites really devious, since you lack the ability to judge one of the most important aspects of a relationship: chemistry. You can't deny that first impressions on dating sites are really focussed on physical appearance, rather than the whole package. And of course looks matter, but having chemistry can be a game changer. About the 'matching' thing on dating sites, I have 0 experience with it but I don't think a simpel database and algorithm can predict attraction. Matching values? Sure, but not chemistry. The whole idea of 'picking up girls' is to enhance your social skills and force you to meet more girls than you would normally do. And as we know, attraction is random. But you can increase the probability of success by meeting more potential girls. And if you go out with a couple of friends, you'll probably have a great time too. Pick up artists are just guys who find joy in the whole process of finding a girl. You can call them lame, and say that they look at the world through a manipulative and hateful lens (which might be true in some cases like Julian Blanc), but they do have a lot of experience and know what works for them to achieve their goal. If you should see them as the ultimate example and do everything they say? Nah, but there might be a couple of things they say which will work for you too.

[QUOTE=thermobaric;50060419]I personally find dating sites really devious, since you lack the ability to judge one of the most important aspects of a relationship: chemistry. You can't deny that first impressions on dating sites are really focussed on physical appearance, rather than the whole package. And of course looks matter, but having chemistry can be a game changer. About the 'matching' thing on dating sites, I have 0 experience with it but I don't think a simpel database and algorithm can predict attraction. Matching values? Sure, but not chemistry.[/QUOTE] That's why you MEET the people. That's why you DATE the people on the DATING site. To find that stuff out. You don't just exchange messages online for weeks and then go "ok we're in a relationship now"

Have you ever tried dating sites? Lmao women dont have to do jackshit en get 20+ messages a day and guys 1 or 2 if they're lucky. What do women do? They pick the 5 best looking ones and let themselves get treated like queens for an evening (of course not paying for anything, thats the job of the guy). And if one of them is good she'll go on a second date. If not the process will repeat. Dont believe me? Read guy manly's last posts in this tread. I'm not hating on women. I would've done the same if I were one of them. But as a average looking guy i'm not gonna go that rabbit hole. Sure, you'll find a girl if you spend hours and hours sending messages. But I rather go out and meet 10+ girls at least who actually give me a shot to show who I really am, instead of reading 'not interested' in my inbox or nothing at all.

Why are you so bitter? I would consider myself pretty average looking and I've gotten plenty of matches on Tinder, I've even made a couple of friends. And I'm chile, where Tinder is barely known around here.

I gave up on dating sites and apps after realizing that I wasn't ever getting any sort of real conversation out of anyone. And pretty much right after I gave up on them, I went to a small party hosted by a friend, and met this really cute and smart girl there - we're getting coffee in a week. Just as friends, but the conversation I've had with her has been nice and natural and 2 ways, the exact opposite of my experience on dating sites.

[QUOTE=thermobaric;50060784]Have you ever tried dating sites? Lmao women dont have to do jackshit en get 20+ messages a day and guys 1 or 2 if they're lucky. What do women do? They pick the 5 best looking ones and let themselves get treated like queens for an evening (of course not paying for anything, thats the job of the guy). And if one of them is good she'll go on a second date. If not the process will repeat. Dont believe me? Read guy manly's last posts in this tread. I'm not hating on women. I would've done the same if I were one of them. But as a average looking guy i'm not gonna go that rabbit hole. Sure, you'll find a girl if you spend hours and hours sending messages. But I rather go out and meet 10+ girls at least who actually give me a shot to show who I really am, instead of reading 'not interested' in my inbox or nothing at all.[/QUOTE] Feel free to project your own bitter stereotypes on me because I happen to not be attracted to most of the guys I speak to online... Saying "don't believe me?" and then using my post as an example doesn't work when 99% of what you just said is shit you just made up and has no relevance to anything I've said here. I think part of the issue is that on dating sites the focus is (obviously) more on dating. People are more open to conversation when the assumption isn't that you're hitting on them. It's easier to get to know someone when there aren't assumptions about what your relationship to each other is going to be. I personally have made a few friends through dating sites and will talk to people I'm not necessarily attracted to anyway, the issue for me is that most of them don't want to just be friends. Also, when you're a bitter jackass assuming the worst about every woman you talk to on a dating site simply because you're on a dating site, it tends to come through in your profile and messages. And it's a lot easier to disengage from a conversation online than it is in person.

[QUOTE=Cosa8888;50060889]Why are you so bitter? I would consider myself pretty average looking and I've gotten plenty of matches on Tinder[/QUOTE] Sigh, you might be right I am pretty bitter if it's about dating sites. I personally didn't have that great success with them (well, got a fwb with tinder but she had lots of problems. too long to explain but it ended up pretty bad). It's just that dating sites feel very rigged towards women, to the point that women have almost more than 20 times the amount of attention a equally looking guy would get. And then the fact that guys have to pay for all their dates pisses me off. I'm lucky to live in a country where it's getting 'kind of' a habbit to split the bill, but jesus christ.. I'm gonna spare you a story on how much it irritated me to pay for everything when I went on a lunch date with a girl who told me her father was some millionaire executive who payed everything for her, ON our actual date. But ah well, at least I can actually laugh at how much stupid shit happened in my dating life. Guess that's the reason why I might sound bitter from time to time :v: [editline]3rd April 2016[/editline] Whoa whoa i'm not stereotyping you for the fact that you aren't attracted to guys you met online, I gave you as an example to show that most women find it completely normal that the guy pays for everything (should've made that more clear though) And it's not like i'm pulling this shit out of my ass, check any tinder account of a girl and you'll see that they have x times as many matches as you do. and having no 'relevance' oh please, when a guy asks you if your wallet hurts you say [QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49974509]Two coffee dates, rock climbing (which was free for me because guest pass), drinks (which I didn't pay for), and dinner (which I didn't pay for).[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=thermobaric;50061283]and having no 'relevance' oh please, when a guy asks you if your wallet hurts you say[/QUOTE] You're missing the part where I pulled out my wallet on both of those dates I didn't pay for and had the guy refuse to let me pay.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;50061427]You're missing the part where I pulled out my wallet on both of those dates I didn't pay for and had the guy refuse to let me pay.[/QUOTE] Oh shit.. well I'm sorry for taking you as an example then. When i read that a while ago i felt kinda provoked. You guys might actually be right about me being bitter, it's just that I kinda lost the hope in myself ever getting a decent girl. Sometimes it just feels so good to vent here by acting like a bitter crybaby

I got ghosted by the only two guys I met online and considered dating material (each after the first date). Now the two people I have crushes on are my friend who has a girlfriend and my TA who I am a research assistant for. I feel ya.

[QUOTE=thermobaric;50061283]And then the fact that guys have to pay for all their dates pisses me off. I'm lucky to live in a country where it's getting 'kind of' a habbit to split the bill, but jesus christ.. I'm gonna spare you a story on how much it irritated me to pay for everything when I went on a lunch date with a girl who told me her father was some millionaire executive who payed everything for her, ON our actual date.[/QUOTE] If you're so hung up on the idea of paying for a date, you could always suggest a date where money isn't involved. You could spend time outdoors, walk around at a mall, find a free concert, comedy show, museum, festival, etc. And if you suggest dates like these, you get the added bonus of weeding out any shallow people who just want to show up to a restaurant and be fed for free.

[QUOTE=Loofiloo;50061486]If you're so hung up on the idea of paying for a date, you could always suggest a date where money isn't involved. You could spend time outdoors, walk around at a mall, find a free concert, comedy show, museum, festival, etc. And if you suggest dates like these, you get the added bonus of weeding out any shallow people who just want to show up to a restaurant and be fed for free.[/QUOTE] Or just get over it, honestly. I don't think it's necessarily "fair" that men are expected to pay for everything, but unless you're taking your Tinder matches to the steakhouse, is it really going to kill you to pay? I pay for my male friends half the time just out of generosity, why is it such a big deal to pay for your date? Consider it an act of kindness rather than an obligation.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;50061476]I got ghosted by the only two guys I met online and considered dating material (each after the first date). Now the two people I have crushes on are my friend who has a girlfriend and my TA who I am a research assistant for. I feel ya.[/QUOTE] Thats why i dislike dating apps. You get ghosted a lot more because you're constantly matching with people that might be more attracted too, but since everythings based off attraction with these apps and not chemistry, sometimes you breeze through people that you might not even get a chance to discover chemistry. I've done it before at least. I went on an amazing date a few days ago, we made out multiple times, hung out for a good solid 8 hours. And now i think im getting ghosted, things are fading. Oh well. Still sucks though, but i've done it myself a few times.

I'm mostly focusing on meeting people in real life at this point - I occasionally message someone on OKC just to chat but I rarely expect anything to come from it anymore. There are a ton of attractive guys who go to my rock climbing gym and I've found it's an easier environment to meet people in. Everyone tends to be really nice and encouraging there. I thought the ghosting thing was really shitty until I basically did it to someone (he kept texting me at 3am when he knew I wake up at 8 and wouldn't take a hint to leave me alone) and then realized that I might have come off as clingy with the first guy who ghosted me. I don't really like it when someone I'm seeing is texting me every day, so in hindsight I can't really blame him.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50063194]You don't like everyday texts? I've been texting my girlfriend for 5 years straight, excluding when phones break[/QUOTE] I talk to my best friend of 8 years usually every two days or so. The only other person I even text is my friend from school, and all we text about is when we're going to go climbing together. My ex used to send me good morning texts every day, though, which was nice.

Made out with the guy I've been seeing and I think we really like each other but now I have to have the awkward "I'm ace" conversation with him because I don't want to be THAT person who ends up being like "haha no sex ! ! ! !" out of nowhere. I always feel kinda shitty having to explain it though. [editline]3rd April 2016[/editline] Finished the conversation up and he's willing to give it a shot so... I guess I'll see where it goes! We're not even dating so much as just seeing each other right now so I'm just gonna kinda roll with it. And if it works out it does, if it doesn't, it doesn't. I just feel better with it all being out in the open.

i don't understand what that means

I'm asexual and do not have sex and it is a conversation I have to have with people I'm interested in because I don't want them to get the wrong idea and then be disappointed or upset when nothing happens sexually. Does that explain it better.

it does, yes

if you don't mind talking about it how did you come to the conclusion you were asexual? not trying to be an arsehole, genuinely interested