Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;50092166]When you're in a relationship and you keep stacking unresolved drama, because you can't deal with emotions and talk shit over, even though you're not doing it on purpose, you're pretty much neglecting your partner's feelings and creating tension in the relationship. If it got to the point where your partner feels frustrated, because every time he tries solving an issue with you, he feels that he's stepping through a minefield and whatever wrong words he picks explode into even more frustration and drama, then you're being complicated. This is terrible. And it's not something you can expect your partner to be able to fix. I sure have been on that boat a few times with different people and it's hell. Instead it just becomes something emotionally exhausting in the relationship. No wonder he's starting to look for answers outside the relationship.[/QUOTE] Some people deal with that stuff on their own without talking about it. It doesn't mean the relationship is doomed. It just means she deals with her problems different than him.

The way I interpreted it, it seems he was refering to relationship issues rather than personal ones.

It's a bit of both, actually. My current plan is to be patient and be there for her until she's ready to open up.

[QUOTE=psychojake;50092671]It's a bit of both, actually. My current plan is to be patient and be there for her until she's ready to open up.[/QUOTE] If she wants to deal with her own stuff on her own, it's more than fair to let her. However you shouldn't feel hindered in telling her how you feel about the situation or certain aspects of the relationship. It's a bit unfair that you're bottling up all the stuff you want to discuss and all the change you want in the relationship. And it's not a crime to express this. I think you should tell her that. Let her know that you're not bringing stuff up to raise more issues, it's an integral part of opening up. Something couples should be able to do without issues. And that it's really important to you to talk relationship related issues through, without having it escalate in additional drama. (Because that is not your intention - make it clear). I think that's something every one can understand.

Well, she had a total meltdown this morning because several days ago I jokingly said that my friend's sister is hot. She said she's been torn apart about it since then but has kept it from me because she didn't want our relationship to feel bad. Now she's completely stonewalling me and saying that she's a terrible person and that I should just go date my friend's sister. I guess this is one of the complications of her [url=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder]BDD[/url] but it's so exhausting to not be able to talk to your partner about something as silly as this without them shutting off from you completely. I'm trying as hard as I can to be supportive without being overbearing, but it just isn't working. I recommended she start seeing her therapist again, but she was quick to shoot down that idea. I thought I was done with this overly dramatic shit in high school. I don't want to destroy myself in the process of helping to fix someone again.

[QUOTE=SurfLapras;50078671]Okay so I am really in a panic right now and I need advice on this situation as soon as possible because I honestly DO NOT know what the fuck is going on right now. So the other night my girlfriend and I were having just a usual casual movie night. She lives alone in an apartment so it's all cool and stuff with that so like we're typically able to do whatever we like wherever we like whenever we're hanging out. But anyway, we finished watching our movie and I was really feeling tired at this point because we were also several drinks in and I honestly just wanted to go off to sleep. She insisted that we watch another movie and me, being the charming guy I am, let her put on another movie. Anyway, between movies she asked if I wanted a snack and I figured I probably should eat something so I could sober up a little. So while she was in the kitchen she left her phone on the coffee table and someone started calling her. I decided to answer her phone. It was a number from our area code but I didn't recognize it. I answered it and immediately the person on the other line hung up. I thought nothing of it. I didn't tell her that someone called since I assumed it was a wrong number. Okay so we started eating popcorn and watching some shitty adam sandler film and we got about halfway through when we heard a loud knock on the door. She told me she would answer it and honestly it seemed as if she was expecting someone which I found odd and even told her I would answer it since it was like 2 in the morning. She insisted that I did not go to the door. So she goes out of the room and around the corner to where her front door is in the kitchen. Right when I heard her feet touch the hardwood floor of the kitchen this fuck on the outside of the door breaks the door off the fucking hinges and rushes into the kitchen, apparently socking my girlfriend in the face and then running into the living room yelling nonsense at me and then proceeding to try to rip me off the couch. I managed a good kick to his drunk face and got him on the ground. I hurried to the kitchen to make sure my girlfriend was alright and she started to tell me about the whole situation so she could fuck up my life even more than it already was from things she's done in the past. So apparently this guy has been seeing my girlfriend for who knows how fucking long, got shit faced and decided to drive over drunk to her apartment and attack her out of the assumption that I was the one in an affair. SO THIS DRUNK ASS GUY WAS APPARENTLY ALSO IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND AT THIS SAME TIME!! I didn't even bother to call the police at this point. I was just too shocked and I just don't even know what the fuck I was to do. I honestly got up and drove home despite being a little buzzed. Either way, I haven't talked to her since Saturday night when this all happened and she hasn't talked to me. I honestly really miss her and I'm concerned for her safety despite how filthy of a human being she was to me because that man had no self control it seemed. Should I even care at this point? I mean, it was a shit hole of a relationship anyway but I just don't know if I should try to help before Mr. "Please Knock" decides to barrel his way into someone's house again.[/QUOTE] I got so irritated on your behalf reading this shit; you have some calm nerves man. Kudos for taking it the way you did in the situation. Don't think I could stay sane in your position. Drop her like a rock imo

[QUOTE=psychojake;50094000]Well, she had a total meltdown this morning because several days ago I jokingly said that my friend's sister is hot. She said she's been torn apart about it since then but has kept it from me because she didn't want our relationship to feel bad. Now she's completely stonewalling me and saying that she's a terrible person and that I should just go date my friend's sister. I guess this is one of the complications of her [url=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder]BDD[/url] but it's so exhausting to not be able to talk to your partner about something as silly as this without them shutting off from you completely. I'm trying as hard as I can to be supportive without being overbearing, but it just isn't working. I recommended she start seeing her therapist again, but she was quick to shoot down that idea. I thought I was done with this overly dramatic shit in high school. I don't want to destroy myself in the process of helping to fix someone again.[/QUOTE] It's not your job to fix someone who's not willing to be fixed, in a relationship. If you're going to fix her into exhaustion, who'll be there for you? Isn't it suppose to be your partner? Help her out, sure, but don't let yourself get dragged down in the process.

You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped.

I could really use some advise or hear other people's experience with a partner who gets "bored" of her partner and no longer wants to date them. I have no fucking clue what this means and I'm scared shitless to loss my first girlfriend because I was too "boring". We've been dating for a couple of months now so I like her too much to just leave her out of fear of her leaving me and she assures me that she still likes me (currently anyway). Should I stay along for the ride and see where it takes me, for better or for worse, knowing there's a 50% chance of having my heart broken further down the line??

Pretty much that. If you're good at sharing eachother's company, basically any sort of leaving the front door can be an adventure. The hardest place to keep a conversation after a while is your living room, since there's nothing new to the location, nothing interesting to talk about unique to that place. Any conversation you can have on your couch; you can also have anywhere else. Most conversations that happen anywhere else can't be had on the couch.

If you have a shitton of photos and decorations you could talk endlessly about them.

so, since I've been on a venting streak i figure this is the best place for this story, I've never actually told anyone so you guys are the first to hear it. So back in middle school I had this friend, and we'd sleep over each others houses a lot and our parents were good friends (and still are, and I know his grandfather since we both have a shared passion for WWI). Anyway, so the last time I slept over his house was after he discovered masturbation, and well to cut a long story short, did so openly in front of me, tried to get me to do the same, and rubbed some of his semen on my leg even though I said no to all of it. I've always kept it to myself, and yeah I felt violated. i feel like thats part of the reason im so uncomfortable today with my sexuality is that encounter. it's always bugged me and made me feel bad. though, typing this up has helped a bit

Girlfriend was a little late on her period and I was flipping my shit thinking she might be pregnant and she was super worried. Bought 2 tests, both came back negative. Best 20 bucks I spent for a peace of mind.

Last week my ex and I were both waiting for the toilet at our student association's bar, and she started conversation by saying "we're okay, right?". So I told her that I felt like she had a problem with me, and she said she didn't, then she asked if I had a problem with her, I said I didn't. We hugged and it seems we're all good now. I congratulated her with her birthday yesterday, to which she replied kindly and later that night she called me because she got my spare key from a friend to pick up some stuff from my apartment. My guess is that if she's comfortable enough calling me to ask me about shit in my apartment, and pick it up all by herself, she's probably fine with me at this point. Nice to hear that she actually is trying to be friends again.

I need a wee bit of advice.. The girl I've been seeing asked me if I'd make things official, and I basically said I just wanted to wait and see where things go. We may as well be "dating" at this point but I don't really want to lock myself down and jump right back into being in a relationship seeing as I just split with my ex of like 3 years only a month or two ago. It makes me feel awful having to try and gently manage her expectations and at the same time I don't want to abandon our current "relationship" just because I feel weird.. But I do? I don't really know how to handle it really, I'd prefer if we could just keep doing what we're doing without making a monogamous commitment and taking on the little routines and obligations that come with being in a relationship. Any advice?

[QUOTE=srobins;50119069]I need a wee bit of advice.. The girl I've been seeing asked me if I'd make things official, and I basically said I just wanted to wait and see where things go. We may as well be "dating" at this point but I don't really want to lock myself down and jump right back into being in a relationship seeing as I just split with my ex of like 3 years only a month or two ago. It makes me feel awful having to try and gently manage her expectations and at the same time I don't want to abandon our current "relationship" just because I feel weird.. But I do? I don't really know how to handle it really, I'd prefer if we could just keep doing what we're doing without making a monogamous commitment and taking on the little routines and obligations that come with being in a relationship. Any advice?[/QUOTE] The only advice I can give you is telling her that you're not ready for a commitment yet and want to keep things as they are for a while. Tell her exactly what you've written there.

Well, my GF and I broke up. I hope it's for the better.

So I was holding up for our first time (and coincidentally my first time in general) for four days, then I thought fuck it feels like I will be shooting after like 5 seconds so I masturbated in the morning aaaaaand I couldn't keep it hard enough for the rest of the day. :goodjob: no seriously what the fuck do I do? she said it's ok if i finish quickly but I kinda want her to enjoy it too

Uh, use your hands? Maybe your tongue? Really, the idea of "Sex is over when the guy finishes" is such a lie.

I'm always way too dry to use my hand and she hates oral. Guess it's time to lube up Edit: whoops I was talking about keeping me hard, not helping her finish :v: I dunno before we started to date we both have been mostly masturbating by ourselves so I thought she'd enjoy something different for once. Too bad I don't think I can last long

Are your hands made of gravel

No, but it sometimes feels like my dick is made from masking tape's sticky side, like there's so much friction it prevents any kind of movement (obviously not just from my hands but from hers too)

Get lube. Seriously, lube is fucking magic, there's nothing wrong with using it, it makes everything work and feel better. Additionally, if you're going to be using condoms, lube is the way to go. Condoms usually break (or, if they don't, are uncomfortable) because there's not enough lubrication. Everybody should have lube in their sex arsenal :v:

So I'd like some advice There's this girl I'm friends with, who is also in a open relationship with one of my best friends. They live decently far apart so they just agreed anything goes so long as they love each other first and foremost. She's also the only person who can visit me at all since I moved away, as she gets free train rides. She's quite flirtatious, and we've already made out, and my friend is well aware of this, even asking me how to roll my r's because it turns her on (if you frequent the confess thread yeah it's the same girl). Not gonna lie, kinda want to fuck her. Now, I'd never actually ask "eyy you wan dik", but she is very open herself, on top of being a good friend. That and we occasionally erp and stuff because of the whole purring thing. What's mostly on my mind is how do I determine how far is too far? The last thing I want to do is make a wrong move and end up hurting her, and most of all my best friend, but it's also a hard thing to approach with either of them. Can't exactly ask him "hey is it okay if I fuck your girl", and asking her feels rather presumptuous of me. Should I do anything, or should I let her make a move if she is down for it? As I've said, she is rather flirtatious. Feel free to ask for additional details

[QUOTE=EuSKalduna;50125402]So I'd like some advice There's this girl I'm friends with, who is also in a open relationship with one of my best friends. They live decently far apart so they just agreed anything goes so long as they love each other first and foremost. She's also the only person who can visit me at all since I moved away, as she gets free train rides. She's quite flirtatious, and we've already made out, and my friend is well aware of this, even asking me how to roll my r's because it turns her on (if you frequent the confess thread yeah it's the same girl). Not gonna lie, kinda want to fuck her. Now, I'd never actually ask "eyy you wan dik", but she is very open herself, on top of being a good friend. That and we occasionally erp and stuff because of the whole purring thing. What's mostly on my mind is how do I determine how far is too far? The last thing I want to do is make a wrong move and end up hurting her, and most of all my best friend, but it's also a hard thing to approach with either of them. Can't exactly ask him "hey is it okay if I fuck your girl", and asking her feels rather presumptuous of me. Should I do anything, or should I let her make a move if she is down for it? As I've said, she is rather flirtatious. Feel free to ask for additional details[/QUOTE] Well, I was sort of in a similar position a few weeks back. And I use 'sort of' loosely here. Basically, a friend of mine who is the girlfriend to one of my best friends casually asked if I'd like to be in a threesome with them. We've always flirted and stuff, but it's just for fun and I have my friend's blessing. However a threesome was too much. I can only imagine how awkward it would get if we ended up in bed together. You're not quite doing a threesome the way I understand it. But I dare bet you'd end up in a similarly awkward position. Every time you'd look at her, you would be reminded about the sex you had; maybe you'd even feel like you cheated with her, even if her and your friend are in an open relationship. If you [I]really[/I] want to proceed with it, speak with your friend first. Be honest. Tell him what you basically just told us. It's super important that everyone involved is comfortable with it. That's my advice at least, and what I'd do.

[QUOTE=Spetsnaz95;50126536]Well, I was sort of in a similar position a few weeks back. And I use 'sort of' loosely here. Basically, a friend of mine who is the girlfriend to one of my best friends casually asked if I'd like to be in a threesome with them. We've always flirted and stuff, but it's just for fun and I have my friend's blessing. However a threesome was too much. I can only imagine how awkward it would get if we ended up in bed together. You're not quite doing a threesome the way I understand it. But I dare bet you'd end up in a similarly awkward position. Every time you'd look at her, you would be reminded about the sex you had; maybe you'd even feel like you cheated with her, even if her and your friend are in an open relationship. If you [I]really[/I] want to proceed with it, speak with your friend first. Be honest. Tell him what you basically just told us. It's super important that everyone involved is comfortable with it. That's my advice at least, and what I'd do.[/QUOTE] Good plan. I'll think on it. Cheers

[QUOTE='[LOA] SonofBrim;50124829']Get lube. Seriously, lube is fucking magic, there's nothing wrong with using it, it makes everything work and feel better. Additionally, if you're going to be using condoms, lube is the way to go. Condoms usually break (or, if they don't, are uncomfortable) because there's not enough lubrication. Everybody should have lube in their sex arsenal :v:[/QUOTE] Last two (different) bottles of lube I bought for the hands-on action really sucked, it dried out in like 10 seconds and became sticky. Is there some lube that doesn't do that and just keeps being slimy?

[url]http://www.amazon.co.uk/Liquid-Silk-Personal-Lubricant-250/dp/B002V08I1U/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1460631814&sr=8-1&keywords=silk+lube[/url] This one worked great for me

[QUOTE=damnatus;50129861]Last two (different) bottles of lube I bought for the hands-on action really sucked, it dried out in like 10 seconds and became sticky. Is there some lube that doesn't do that and just keeps being slimy?[/QUOTE] I've always had luck with KY products (specifically KY Jelly and generic equivalents), but I've heard the same complaints about them as well. It may help to shop around on the internet, I know you can get a huge variety of products on amazon.

you want things to do other than eat pizza and sex? that already sounds like a pretty good weekend away tbh. being able to pump away and not worry about anyone walking in is the best thing ever