Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

I can't ejaculate when having sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. I have only been sexually active once a few months before we found each others(I did use a condom) that was with an escort, didn't come there either. Never really had sex besides these few times. I have been masturbating almost daily since I hit puberty somewhere around my mid 12's and I have been a habit smoker since early 2014, I am capable of ejaculating when masturbating. Was first scared because I thought I had literally destroyed my libido with my rather heavy nicotine addiction. Oh yeah, I periodically smoke cannabis too and drink a beer every now and then. It is likely psychosomatic of nature because I also get distracted a lot when we are having sex despite really fucking wanting her. Has anyone experienced this themselves? If so, how did you get over it?

stop masturbating so often, don't drink or smoke weed before you have sex seriously masturbation isn't necessarily unhealthy or anything but doing it on the daily will make sex less pleasurable tbh try going a week without masturbation, then try having sex. If you've already tried that IDK what else to say.. is there anything specific about the sex it self that you don't find enjoyable?

[QUOTE=thermobaric;50264783]Winking on the other hand is impossible to do without looking like a retard with a tic. I wonder, do you guys wink? It's a really good way to flirt if done good imo if you know how to pull it off in style :v:[/QUOTE] It works (for the most part) if you can make it look effortless. If you scrunch up half your face while doing it, you will look like you're having a stroke.

[QUOTE=NeverGoWest;50267176]I can't ejaculate when having sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. I have only been sexually active once a few months before we found each others(I did use a condom) that was with an escort, didn't come there either. Never really had sex besides these few times. I have been masturbating almost daily since I hit puberty somewhere around my mid 12's and I have been a habit smoker since early 2014, I am capable of ejaculating when masturbating. Was first scared because I thought I had literally destroyed my libido with my rather heavy nicotine addiction. Oh yeah, I periodically smoke cannabis too and drink a beer every now and then. It is likely psychosomatic of nature because I also get distracted a lot when we are having sex despite really fucking wanting her. Has anyone experienced this themselves? If so, how did you get over it?[/QUOTE] Quit jerkin it for a week then try again.

[QUOTE=elasticity;50267177]stop masturbating so often, don't drink or smoke weed before you have sex seriously masturbation isn't necessarily unhealthy or anything but doing it on the daily will make sex less pleasurable tbh try going a week without masturbation, then try having sex. If you've already tried that IDK what else to say.. is there anything specific about the sex it self that you don't find enjoyable?[/QUOTE] It feels nowhere near as good as jerking off, I think its mostly a matter of habit. She has some permanent knee injuries that make some positions not very nice for her to do so I guess it is a matter of experimentation.

[QUOTE=Cyke Lon bee;50268952]Quit jerkin it for a week then try again.[/QUOTE] I don't think that someone who states [I]I have been masturbating almost daily since I hit puberty somewhere around my mid 12's[/I] would just so easily wake up, take a shower and hit te bunker late at night for a week so smoothly. [QUOTE=NeverGoWest;50269776]It feels nowhere near as good as jerking off, I think its mostly a matter of habit. She has some permanent knee injuries that make some positions not very nice for her to do so I guess it is a matter of experimentation.[/QUOTE] Well mate, it looks like it's time to try some stand-up positions. Seriously, if done right it can be awesome for both parts.

to be fair we've basically all been jerking it daily since we were like 12 but when you consider the alternative, it's really not that hard to just stop doing it

[QUOTE=NeverGoWest;50267176]I can't ejaculate when having sexual intercourse with my girlfriend. I have only been sexually active once a few months before we found each others(I did use a condom) that was with an escort, didn't come there either. Never really had sex besides these few times. I have been masturbating almost daily since I hit puberty somewhere around my mid 12's and I have been a habit smoker since early 2014, I am capable of ejaculating when masturbating. Was first scared because I thought I had literally destroyed my libido with my rather heavy nicotine addiction. Oh yeah, I periodically smoke cannabis too and drink a beer every now and then. It is likely psychosomatic of nature because I also get distracted a lot when we are having sex despite really fucking wanting her. Has anyone experienced this themselves? If so, how did you get over it?[/QUOTE] I had this exact problem when I first started having sex. It continued for a few months. It wasn't all bad as I got to spaff on my gf's tits a fair amount and that's always good. But eventually I just started being able to cum. It takes me a while (quickest was about 20 minutes at the least), but I can actually finish now.

[QUOTE=E = MC Hammer;50270086]but when you consider the alternative, it's really not that hard to just stop doing it[/QUOTE] well if you [I]really[/I] consider the alternative you most likely gonna end up doing it

[QUOTE=E = MC Hammer;50270086]to be fair we've basically all been jerking it daily since we were like 12[/QUOTE] I never did until I was almost 16, and I always thought this was weird. I didn't have any reason not to do it either, I just never felt like trying it until then

Thanks guys, I'll keep that in mind, we should probably also talk more about it. We both have a lot of intimacy issues from the past so its a really big thing for us that we have finally found intimacy and trust in each others.

I loved my girlfriend and have good memories of our time together. But then I left for Army basic training and at the end of it, find out she's basically a bum. She lost her job and got kicked out of her sister's place. I want to help her get back on her feet, but I feel like the magic is gone. I'm starting to want to meet other girls. But I feel guilty as shit because the memories of our past haunt me. I don't know if I should just give up on her since she went off the deep end. I don't know if I can fall in love with another girl knowing that she's out there having a hard time.

Would you guys consider me an asshole because i walked out on a date who spent 90% of her time going on her phone texting/emailing.

Naw. That's kinda shitty of your date to do. Unless they were keeping tabs on a dying/sickly relative or something, there's no reason for them to be doing that.

[QUOTE=Pascall;50282398]Naw. That's kinda shitty of your date to do. Unless they were keeping tabs on a dying/sickly relative or something, there's no reason for them to be doing that.[/QUOTE] I'll explain the story a bit more So i went on a date for the first time in quite a while, a person who i have known for about half a year. I've never been much of a "Dater" all of my relationships have just been spontaneous and happened out of nowhere, one minute they are just a mate and then we end up getting together randomly at some point. (Granted thats been twice, but both lasted about 2 years and we split on good terms so i dont see much of a problem of rushing and such) However, in the end i walked out of the date and haven't actually spoken to her properly since (besides explaining why i did it) I feel like an asshole, but i justify it due to the nature of how she was behaving, i have a thing about using phones. I own a simple one, just so i can be contacted in emergencies, it's an essential part of modern society but i dont have time to sit on my phone gazing at stuff when i'm out spending time with people (It's also another reason i chose to never own a facebook) but right from the start this friend keeps whipping out her phone to reply to texts, coming back into the conversation, i let it slide a few times but after a while (bout an hour) of doing this over and over she recieves a phone call and answers it, i decided enough was enough, i let her roll out the conversation (It could of been an emergency for all i knew) but all it was was a conversation about what she was up to, found it extremely rude so paid my part of the bill and left, told her if she wasn't going to take the fact i took a day off work and took them out somewhere they wanted only for them to spend most of it on there phone constantly talking to other people it is a waste of both our times.

You're not at fault then. I mean I've said it before that sometimes when I'm out and about, I'll need to be on my phone because I'm on call for issues at work a lot of the time and I'm reachable to them via text and e-mail. And that maybe is a viable excuse for some older people who have jobs/careers/etc. Or commitments at home like kids or family. But if she's just answering the phone to tell her friend what's up, then nah that's pretty rude. If she can't justify that kinda thing, then either she was just disinterested to begin with, or she's oblivious to social etiquette.

[QUOTE=Pascall;50282435]You're not at fault then. I mean I've said it before that sometimes when I'm out and about, I'll need to be on my phone because I'm on call for issues at work a lot of the time and I'm reachable to them via text and e-mail. And that maybe is a viable excuse for some older people who have jobs/careers/etc. Or commitments at home like kids or family. But if she's just answering the phone to tell her friend what's up, then nah that's pretty rude. If she can't justify that kinda thing, then either she was just disinterested to begin with, or she's oblivious to social etiquette.[/QUOTE] Exactly, it is definitely important to have one nowdays, times change etc. But for me it's solely for emergencies and if its just a casual message i'll answer it when im free.

I get annoyed if someone even looks at their phone during a date without telling me why. It's incredibly rude. Taking a call during a date is fucking absurd. You had every right to walk out.

i left my phone in my car for the first four dates

Went to girlfriend's birthday party yesterday, had a great time but was getting kind of weird vibes from two of her male friends that showed up. She told me after we left that one of them had written in her birthday card "for the girl that left an impression on me" and hadn't realized she wasn't single anymore lol, and the other guy asked her to come to church with him the next morning like 3-4 times in front of me.. After the 4th time he pushed the church thing I just said "wait, is this real? Is this a joke or are you serious?" and he got upset and left. I kinda felt like a dick but he was being a complete douche to me the entire time and the church thing is just like.. Who asks somebody to church? Moreover, who keeps pressing it after being told no 3 times?

on that phone subject I'm also super strict on that never pulling it out/using it on dates especially if im out to dinner somewhere. it's one of the biggest things that irks me honestly, but thankfully at this point after 3 years my girlfriend is also like me in that regard. in the beginning she used to be a pretty big offender though

I don't mind that kind of thing as much if it's just explained to me what's going on. Like "o shit I told my mom I'd message her before 3 and I never did it." Just acknowledging it goes a long way to me. But even with that, if it starts happening repeatedly, I'm still going to get annoyed. I would call somebody out on it before walking out, but I don't blame you.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;50283688]I get annoyed if someone even looks at their phone during a date without telling me why. It's incredibly rude. Taking a call during a date is fucking absurd. You had every right to walk out.[/QUOTE] it truly depends on the situation, and it's important to address it accordingly i'd say I do agree though that taking a call during a date is absurd and flat out rude, the other thing i'd put on par with that is Facebook/social media

Speaking from a communication theory standpoint, phones are a barrier which prevents the effective flow of communication. How can people expect to forge meaningful relationships with those around them by choosing to invest in impersonal communications on a phone over the interpersonal communication they are supposedly having at that moment? I can understand if someone excuses themselves to quickly reply to an important message or take an important call. However if this is not the case then there is really no excuse. It frankly demonstrates poor social etiquette and communication skills. As well as a lack of interest in the person they are with. I don't blame you for walking out at all. If someone is prioritising the happenings on their phone over spending time with me then why should I waste my time giving them my attention when there is someone else out there more deserving of it.

I ended up with another problem from this though. A girl I spend a lot of time with would use her phone constantly when we hung out, and one night she could tell something was bothering me so I finally called her out and said it bothers me that she's on the phone so much when spending time with me. She was really nice and diplomatic and understanding about it that first time, even apologized and put it aside for the night... But now, if we're spending time together and I just LOOK at her wrong when she's using her phone, she'll do this obnoxious passive-aggressive heavy sigh and dramatically toss the phone aside. Sometimes it's when I'm not even trying to make a comment on it. It's like, you trade one asshole act for another. I wouldn't really say it's an improvement.

You sound like a bunch of old men. "Damned technology no one can form meaningful relationships anymore bluh bluh bluh." I get it on dates they're meant to be personal and it is straight up rude to ignore your date. But when you're hanging with an established partner or just chilling with friends it shows some serious insecurity issues having problems with people handling their phones. We're in an age where information is all over the fucking place and you can keep in contact with anyone almost anywhere. Who are you to say you're more important than anyone else with physical proximity as the sole reason. You're the barrier to communication not phones.

[QUOTE=UzumakaiPatch;50285665]You sound like a bunch of old men. "Damned technology no one can form meaningful relationships anymore bluh bluh bluh." I get it on dates they're meant to be personal and it is straight up rude to ignore your date. But when you're hanging with an established partner or just chilling with friends it shows some serious insecurity issues having problems with people handling their phones. We're in an age where information is all over the fucking place and you can keep in contact with anyone almost anywhere. Who are you to say you're more important than anyone else with physical proximity as the sole reason. You're the barrier to communication not phones.[/QUOTE] No one even said phones are the problem. Some people just choose to use them in a way that inhibits communication. Of course its normal to use your phone if you're just hanging around, but when you're engaged in conversation and someone whips out their phone to text other people, it is a barrier to communication. Interpersonal communication is more than just verbal it consists of eye contact, body language, etc. and using a phone to talk to other people mid conversation shuts down some of those things. Maybe, it's just me but in my experience if someone is constantly on their phone (other than needing to be on it for something important), it shows that they are disinterested with what is happening in front of them.

I don't see what's the problem with answering a phone call during a date if it's important. I work for my dad and the company is in pretty bad shape so I just have to answer. Period. And it's not like I take too much time answering because I know I just have to keep in touch with what's happening. My job depends on it. But, of course, I say something to the other person like, "I'm sorry, but it's important, can you excuse me for a second" and ask for permission to take the call while apologizing, because I understand how much of a buzzkill it is for the other person who made herself available to be there. But in my case I just have to take the call. However, I never check my phone, I never pick it up to just browse facebook or any other stuff. It's rude and I can do it at home. Nor do I ever take calls from anyone who isn't important. But yeah, I've had dates where the other person just picks up her phone to chat with her friends, or just answers the phone to some friend who wants to gossip and talks for hours. And I'm thinking like "for fuck's sake, I drove here for this shit". When that happens I completely lose interest. I start browsing facebook to and I just stop pretending I care about the other person. One time, I just payed for my drinks and left.

[QUOTE=UzumakaiPatch;50285665]You sound like a bunch of old men. "Damned technology no one can form meaningful relationships anymore bluh bluh bluh." I get it on dates they're meant to be personal and it is straight up rude to ignore your date. But when you're hanging with an established partner or just chilling with friends it shows some serious insecurity issues having problems with people handling their phones. We're in an age where information is all over the fucking place and you can keep in contact with anyone almost anywhere. Who are you to say you're more important than anyone else with physical proximity as the sole reason. You're the barrier to communication not phones.[/QUOTE] When you are staring at a phone screen, you are not paying attention to your physical surroundings. It's as simple as that. You'll miss out on a lot of memories sacrificing the precious time you have with your loved ones to stare at a device you can access any time you want. [editline]9th May 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;50286565]I don't see what's the problem with answering a phone call during a date if it's important.[/QUOTE] I don't think anyone here has disagreed with "if it's important".

A really good guy of mine told me to go for this girl I've talked to quite a bit, they had a small fling but it sort of ended because they weren't getting anywhere. Apparently he gave it one last shot, but she talked a lot about me. It was really awkward when he came up, hope I didn't ruin anything for him, but he strongly encouraged me to go for her, saying I have a good chance. anyway so now I'm gonna hang out with her tomorrow and I'm afraid I might lock up. I'm usually really good at leading conversations and having fun and all that jazz, but seeing as she's the first girl I've actually really wanted to get something going with in along time I might be kinda nervous. Can't really think of anything to talk about right now. Just worried I won't have an initiator for conversations that can actually be meaningful... but it will probably come naturally.. I hope... just really don't wanna fuck it up.