Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

[QUOTE=Zar;50286806]A really good guy of mine told me to go for this girl I've talked to quite a bit, they had a small fling but it sort of ended because they weren't getting anywhere. Apparently he gave it one last shot, but she talked a lot about me. It was really awkward when he came up, hope I didn't ruin anything for him, but he strongly encouraged me to go for her, saying I have a good chance. anyway so now I'm gonna hang out with her tomorrow and I'm afraid I might lock up. I'm usually really good at leading conversations and having fun and all that jazz, but seeing as she's the first girl I've actually really wanted to get something going with in along time I might be kinda nervous. Can't really think of anything to talk about right now. Just worried I won't have an initiator for conversations that can actually be meaningful... but it will probably come naturally.. I hope... just really don't wanna fuck it up.[/QUOTE] You're avatar fits

Tbh I think one big thing to remember when you're going out on dates is that no one expects you to be an epitome of perfection. It's okay to fuck up sometimes. On my first date with this guy I was talking to for a while, I tripped over my own damn feet and ran into a wall. It was embarrassing, but kinda gave him an excuse to check on me and get a little closer and then we laughed about it later. It's okay to mess up. If a person is going to judge you for one small mistake or a few moments of nervousness, then I'm not sure that's a person you really wanna be sticking around anyway? I'm always the nervous one on dates tbh if there was someone more nervous than me, it'd be welcome lmao. Just don't be weird or creepy and you'll probably be okay! Even if the date doesn't ultimately work out. There's nothing wrong with being nervous or feeling like you made a mistake or two.

[QUOTE=Zar;50286806]A really good guy of mine told me to go for this girl I've talked to quite a bit, they had a small fling but it sort of ended because they weren't getting anywhere. Apparently he gave it one last shot, but she talked a lot about me. It was really awkward when he came up, hope I didn't ruin anything for him, but he strongly encouraged me to go for her, saying I have a good chance. anyway so now I'm gonna hang out with her tomorrow and I'm afraid I might lock up. I'm usually really good at leading conversations and having fun and all that jazz, but seeing as she's the first girl I've actually really wanted to get something going with in along time I might be kinda nervous. Can't really think of anything to talk about right now. Just worried I won't have an initiator for conversations that can actually be meaningful... but it will probably come naturally.. I hope... just really don't wanna fuck it up.[/QUOTE] Man I don't even know what your common interests are and I can't barge out something cliché as [I]be yourself[/I] or [I]try to have a good time and it'll work itself out[/I], I mean, those are good tips but you already know that. If you're good on leading conversations keep in mind not to talk everlastingly much, try to end your acts with a question - it might be about how she feels about the subject per say or if she has any memory that relates to that. Whenever I hit a silence point on a date, I always ask something like [I]"so what do you prefer, lasagna or spaghetti?[/I] or [I]sith or jedi?[/I] - which greatly depends on the personality of the date in question - and then proceed to talk about food or ficticious ideologies. Always worked - [I]well, for me at least[/I] edit: Talk about food. [B]People love to talk about food.[/B]

oh yeah I'm just feel like I'm about to go into surgery with a 50% chance of motherfuckin dyin'. as in, I probably have a shot with this amazing girl, first girl I've cared about in a long time, and I'm too worried thinking about not screwing up that I can't just be myself

Try doing this then: What's the best case scenario, what's the worst case scenario, and what's in the middle of the two? Usually, the thing in the middle of the best and worst case scenarios is what's PROBABLY gonna happen. Doing this does wonders for my anxiety sometimes so it might help you visualize a more realistic outcome than you somehow screwing up so monumentally that she never wants to speak to you again. Even if a date doesn't ultimately go the right way, it's not like it's automatically going to bar you from ever talking to or trying again.

I've gone on dates with a few people who treated it like an audition. They would basically sit back and wait for me to impress them. Those people are called assholes. The point of dating isn't to try and impress someone as much as possible, it's to meet someone you're compatible with, and compatibility isn't something you can fake.

do girls appreciate [B]Mix CDs[/B] with her favorite songs on it as a birthday gift?

Mixtapes are still pretty cute. I mean I don't have a tape player and I'm not sure who does but... Maybe a Mix CD? lol.

[QUOTE=Pascall;50287960]Maybe a Mix CD? lol.[/QUOTE] yeah i meant that lol sorry

[QUOTE=Kannata;50287892]do girls appreciate [B]Mix CDs[/B] with her favorite songs on it as a birthday gift?[/QUOTE] I got a MixCd from my ex-gf last year, it was named Mixxxtape and I listen to it 'till this day

[QUOTE=MxOAgentJohnson;50282418]I'll explain the story a bit more So i went on a date for the first time in quite a while, a person who i have known for about half a year. I've never been much of a "Dater" all of my relationships have just been spontaneous and happened out of nowhere, one minute they are just a mate and then we end up getting together randomly at some point. (Granted thats been twice, but both lasted about 2 years and we split on good terms so i dont see much of a problem of rushing and such) However, in the end i walked out of the date and haven't actually spoken to her properly since (besides explaining why i did it) I feel like an asshole, but i justify it due to the nature of how she was behaving, i have a thing about using phones. I own a simple one, just so i can be contacted in emergencies, it's an essential part of modern society but i dont have time to sit on my phone gazing at stuff when i'm out spending time with people (It's also another reason i chose to never own a facebook) but right from the start this friend keeps whipping out her phone to reply to texts, coming back into the conversation, i let it slide a few times but after a while (bout an hour) of doing this over and over she recieves a phone call and answers it, i decided enough was enough, i let her roll out the conversation (It could of been an emergency for all i knew) but all it was was a conversation about what she was up to, found it extremely rude so paid my part of the bill and left, told her if she wasn't going to take the fact i took a day off work and took them out somewhere they wanted only for them to spend most of it on there phone constantly talking to other people it is a waste of both our times.[/QUOTE] I get angry when people start talking on the phone or texting non stop when I'm talking to them. Once this woman I know kept bringing up great things to talk about and just stopped listening to what I was saying and texted like 4 X in a row. I became really mad so I picked up my own phone and pretended to talk on it loudly and said something like "Yeah, I'm here with this super boring girl who can't leave her phone alone". She chuckled, put her phone away and said sorry. Now this wasn't a date or anything but I bet you could use it on one. Worst case scenario she becomes offended but then she's an asshole anyway.

First tip advice: Make the girl play Dark Souls. She'll hate it, get mad, seek comfort in you, and then you just hug her, pick up the controller and utterly decimate whatever she's struggling against and she'll be so impressed and think you're some ultra king of reflexes and stuff. Prerequisite is that she already plays some games. The benefits lie in that you'll establish the tone of the relationship while also making her feel better when she feels bad, which causes a strong psychological connection of trust or someshit I dunno it worked okay Source: First date with my gf of 2 years (To this day she finds Dark Souls awful though)

[QUOTE=Zondac;50288661]First tip advice: Make the girl play Dark Souls. She'll hate it, get mad, seek comfort in you, and then you just hug her, pick up the controller and utterly decimate whatever she's struggling against and she'll be so impressed and think you're some ultra king of reflexes and stuff. Prerequisite is that she already plays some games. The benefits lie in that you'll establish the tone of the relationship while also making her feel better when she feels bad, which causes a strong psychological connection of trust or someshit I dunno it worked okay Source: First date with my gf of 2 years ([B]To this day she finds Dark Souls awful though[/B])[/QUOTE] my ex loved it and managed to get to sen's a lot of good fun comes out of playing together, you either joke about each other or you respond to situations. its actually a sociable activity

Dark Souls is life. I tried to get my ex into it and he got mad at me when we did co-op (DS2) because I didn't want to completely carry him and was deliberately attacking less/letting him go ahead of me. And I got mad at him because he wanted to be carried and completely missed the point of playing a Soulsborne game. 0/10 would not do again. [editline]9th May 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Zondac;50288661]First tip advice: Make the girl play Dark Souls. She'll hate it, get mad, seek comfort in you, and then you just hug her, pick up the controller and utterly decimate whatever she's struggling against and she'll be so impressed and think you're some ultra king of reflexes and stuff. Prerequisite is that she already plays some games. The benefits lie in that you'll establish the tone of the relationship while also making her feel better when she feels bad, which causes a strong psychological connection of trust or someshit I dunno it worked okay[/QUOTE] When you put it like that, you really make it sound like negging.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;50290158]When you put it like that, you really make it sound like negging.[/QUOTE] Eeeeh, kinda but not really, it's not JUST about making them feel insecure, in fact that's not part of it at all, it's about making them feel frustrated or angry first so that you can offer relief. I picked it up from my job in sales, actually. Can definitely see where you're coming from though, but my role in that date was only to try to make her feel more and more okay with her shortcomings, as her confidence already was super low due to some bad shit happening recently before us meeting. This way, I kinda made her notice that if she's struggling with something she'll have someone to lean on, which while is manipulative for sure, never made anything worse, in fact it only helped her and now we've moved to a different part of the country together because we know we can depend on each other for support. All works out in the end, just gotta know your own intentions and goals.

Honestly that sounds a little creepy. I assumed you were joking but apparently not.. Manufacturing frustrating scenarios so that you can help ease insecurity and frustration you purposefully created seems kinda weird IMO.

[QUOTE=Zondac;50290258]Eeeeh, kinda but not really, it's not JUST about making them feel insecure, in fact that's not part of it at all, it's about making them feel frustrated or angry first so that you can offer relief. I picked it up from my job in sales, actually. Can definitely see where you're coming from though, but my role in that date was only to try to make her feel more and more okay with her shortcomings, as her confidence already was super low due to some bad shit happening recently before us meeting. This way, I kinda made her notice that if she's struggling with something she'll have someone to lean on, which while is manipulative for sure, never made anything worse, in fact it only helped her and now we've moved to a different part of the country together because we know we can depend on each other for support. All works out in the end, just gotta know your own intentions and goals.[/QUOTE] I'd say you shouldn't intentionally apply sales manipulation tactics to dates imo, even if your intentions are good. it's fine if these things happen naturally or casually as you interact (i.e. the dark souls example, say she wants to try the game and then that situation just unfolds on it's own, fairo), but going out of your way to set the scenario up for your own benefit just because you want that specific result doesn't sit comfortably in mind.

"Its okay little peasant girl, Ill handle this"

That's literally what sociopaths do fyi

[B]D[/B] Dark Souls [B]E[/B] Enjoy her discomfort [B]N[/B] Now she lets you play [B]N[/B] Neg her while killing the world with giantdad [B]I[/B] Instill sense of wonder at your good skills [B]S[/B] Sob as she realizes you're a dick and leaves you for someone who will play angry birds with her good system

[QUOTE=phygon;50291255]That's literally what sociopaths do fyi[/QUOTE] She's got a kink for dominant sociopaths so it's all part of the idea. Like, we have a bdsm petplay based relationship, so if you wanna talk about fucked up ways to pick up girls I'm your guy

You're pushing it too far maaan!! [sp]kidding, bdsm is the best. Petplay though....[/sp]

[QUOTE=elasticity;50290354] but going out of your way to set the scenario up for your own benefit just because you want that specific result doesn't sit comfortably in mind.[/QUOTE] Doesn't have to! Honestly, first dates are mostly manipulation no matter how you put it. You may want to say that first dates are about showing what kind of person you are and finding out what kind of person they are, but it's so skewed towards "this is the kind of person I try to be" instead of "this is the kind of person I am" so honestly, do what works and let the rest fall into place later. That said, there's no "going out of your place to cause a situation" going on by asking if she wants to play a game that's already in your system cause you were playing it before she arrived :p it just so happened to have that effect as well [editline]10th May 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=SebiWarrior;50291310][sp]kidding, bdsm is the best. Petplay though....[/sp][/QUOTE] Is better

[QUOTE=Zondac;50291318]You may want to say that first dates are about showing what kind of person you are and finding out what kind of person they are, but it's so skewed towards "this is the kind of person I try to be" instead of "this is the kind of person I am" so honestly, do what works and let the rest fall into place later.[/QUOTE] So what do you believe is the distinction between the person you are and the person you're trying to be? People generally don't lie about their morals. They also usually won't outright lie about their lifestyle, though they might exaggerate in some ways. Also, different personality traits emerge based on the situation you're in - just because you don't always behave the same way you present yourself to one person doesn't necessarily make you dishonest or manipulative. Having transparent goals (like impressing someone you're interested in when you're both aware of the situation) is different than acting based on goals the other person is unaware of.

I had a girlfriend a few years ago who wanted to get into Fighting Games, as i was always on SF4, so i used to teach her. I knew she wasnt interested and just wanted to share something with me so i just played causally, was good fun but i told her she didnt have to force herself to play something she wasnt interested in.

oh hey I hung out with that girl today, never actually had any 1on1 time with her before, she's p cool like her even more now. probably gonna have a good chance with her this friday, think I want to try and get something serious on. like her very much. we had a few beers and just talked while enjoying the weather. she messaged me saying thanks for beers and today when she was on her way home, got a good feeling about it.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;50292546]So what do you believe is the distinction between the person you are and the person you're trying to be? People generally don't lie about their morals. They also usually won't outright lie about their lifestyle, though they might exaggerate in some ways. Also, different personality traits emerge based on the situation you're in - just because you don't always behave the same way you present yourself to one person doesn't necessarily make you dishonest or manipulative. Having transparent goals (like impressing someone you're interested in when you're both aware of the situation) is different than acting based on goals the other person is unaware of.[/QUOTE] Yeah, I know. I agree completely. What I'm saying is I put little faith into first dates because of those exaggerations. I prefer to just make the dates into actually just hanging out and chilling, makes the rest of the relationship far more casual and friendly too, and flaws are easier to bring up and embrace, which in normal first dates tend to be completely repressed, something I find a little sad. Gives the person a very artificial feel. [editline]10th May 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50292643]Making all these artificial situations tends to bite you in the ass eventually. You begin to be someone completely different around her. Not just an off-branch personality, but one soley based on situations you pre-determine.[/QUOTE] The trick is not making it too artificial. I just plain am the kind of guy who likes to play games, especially with other people, and I like teaching things to people and I'm also a manipulative kinda guy. Not using any "fake" personality or anything to do it, just using the parts of who I am that work with the situation at hand. Mostly cause planning ahead takes effort, so it's more improv manipulation

[QUOTE=Kannata;50287892]do girls appreciate [B]Mix CDs[/B] with her favorite songs on it as a birthday gift?[/QUOTE] Fuck putting her favorite music on the CDs. Put your favorite music on them and convert her.

[QUOTE=chocolatedrop;50296019]Fuck putting her favorite music on the CDs. Put your favorite music on them and convert her.[/QUOTE] Write the lyrics of songs on your dick. I don't know what that'll accomplish, but if all else fails. Just hit em with a pizza box.

Met a really nice girl in the bar yesterday. We've been talking for like 2 hours while all of my friends were looking "when are they going to kiss", but me being me didn't go for it. Forgot to ask for her number, so added her on Facebook. Let's play the waiting game. I had never met or seen her before yesterday and the way I got in contact with her was her saying that guys usually weren't able to undo bras with one hand. I said "it isn't that hard, is it?", and she said "well, give it a go". So I did, succeeded, and that's how we got talking. She was less impressed about me not being able to get it back on under her shirt :')