Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

[QUOTE=phygon;50412552]I know it's just so hard to accept. She's *almost* perfect for me but she's just.... not right for me. I ended up spilling the beans and she's in a really bad state, she wants to give it another week with knowing my grievances to see if anything can change. I agreed because I want her to be able to at least be sort of happy during the rest of her visit. I feel like such a cunt even though I couldn't have predicted this.[/QUOTE] literally went through the same thing a few weeks ago. Feel pretty awful about it but at the end of the day the primary responsibility you have is looking after yourself

Huh. I went through a break up with a similar situation a couple weeks ago, too. Long story short, I started having weird feelings so I told her about it and waited two weeks for them to pass but they didn't so I broke up with her. She was head over heels for me and her mental health crashed down when I broke up with her. I don't regret my actions but I feel guilty, just like my first big break up. Phygon or Killerteacup if you guys ever want to talk and mull over feelings, feel free to PM me.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;50401907]What do you guys think of sexting?[/QUOTE] The only sexual interraction I ever get so.... It's AWESOME.

Okay, so here's a thing. My friend has been obsessed with this girl from school for ... months now. He shares one or two classes with her in a week, but never even spoke to her. When he told me, and before I knew her name (He gave me some clues and made me figure it out myself) I continuously encouraged him. Then I found out who she was. And discussed with my other friends. The consensus was that... she's way out of his league. And probably not his type, either. He formed an ideal of her and even though I know little about her, the stuff I know clashes with his interests. He's really shy, doesn't like people that much, but is decent at conversation (Or maybe that's just my biased view because I'm terrible at that). Also we often talk about various philosophical topics, his favourites being meaninglessness of life and uh... suicide... (before he found his "one" these conversations were way more prevalent) though he never struck me as someone who would actually do it. At least for the time being. Right. My question is what would be better for him? To just never climb over himself and not try to talk to her because (according to the majority) he's doomed to fail? Would being rejected be better than that? (He did mention that the most important part is to actually try and talk to her, no matter the outcome, I don't know how much of that is true.) And should I be honest about his chances, even though I've been unintentionally misleading him about them for... months? Right now I'm tying to tell him off it as subtly as possible, but it seems he's determined to do something the next time he meets her. And next week is the last chance to meet her in school.

And now she's trying to change herself emotionally and be a better fit for me but I feel like it's a mistake... .But on the other hand, I'd feel like I gave up too easily if I just dropped it here seeing as she's willing to make a huge effort. I just don't want to hurt her but I also want to not hurt myself.

[QUOTE=Roxerg;50412755] Right. My question is what would be better for him? To just never climb over himself and not try to talk to her because (according to the majority) he's doomed to fail? [/QUOTE] It really depends on his attitude. It's always a good thing to talk to a girl, even if she's way out of your league just for the sake of experience and overcoming your shyness. Talking to girls is an skill on its own, which requires repeated failure in order to get success. If he gets that idea and doesn't get too disappointed, I would encourage him to just go to her and try his luck. But, since you told that he likes talking about meaninglessness and suicide, he seems like the person who would get really disappointed in life from every setback, especially when the girl he had a crush on for months denies him. Best thing you could do is make sure that he has the right mindset when he goes for it. And if he fails, tell him he did a great job because it's a step in the right direction.

[QUOTE=thermobaric;50413027] Best thing you could do is make sure that he has the right mindset when he goes for it. And if he fails, tell him he did a great job because it's a step in the right direction.[/QUOTE] Yeah, that's probably the way to go. The part about it being a skill is a really good point, should be able to convince him about it being a useful experience either way... Probably. Thanks!

[QUOTE=phygon;50412879]And now she's trying to change herself emotionally and be a better fit for me but I feel like it's a mistake... .But on the other hand, I'd feel like I gave up too easily if I just dropped it here seeing as she's willing to make a huge effort. I just don't want to hurt her but I also want to not hurt myself.[/QUOTE] You didn't talk to her about the issue before deciding to break up? I can't see what's wrong with her wanting to make a change, if she manages to do it, it would be great becauE the issue would be gone, and if she doesn't, well, that would be it.

There's a difference between "changing yourself" and "working on improvement". No one should be forced to change for the benefit of their partner, but everyone should be willing to learn and improve.

So my GF is supposed to go to the gynecologist this Tuesday to try and see if there's any grave problem at the source of our impossibility to make love, but now she's telling me she really doesn't want to go because she doesn't want to be touched by someone else... I want to help her solve her problem any way I can but I feel like I'm running out of options. If I can't even motivate her enough to get a medical exam I don't know what I can do.

Is it a fear of ANYONE touching her or a fear of a male doctor touching her? I'm not super comfortable with male gynos just because. It's a little uncomfortable and their hands tend to be bigger than women's. Female gynos are super nice because they tend to know what it's like having to sit there and be touched and probed out of necessity. So they might make her feel a little more at ease. But yeah idk if she refuses to get a medical exam, especially if it's a legitimate medical condition that's preventing you two from having proper sex, then there probably isn't a whole lot you can do, unless you want to forego the act entirely. But I don't think you want to do that.

I knew a girl that refused to get her smear test for some reason. I never understood why. Yes it might be a bit awkward, having a complete stranger have a look around there but even with that worry, the benefits of having it done surely outweighed the awkwardness and fear of it. If there was anything wrong it would be caught early and be easier to treat and if there wasn't then it's peace of mind. on a different note my friend is trying to set me up with someone for sex, and it could easily happen I don't know how to feel about this

[QUOTE=Pascall;50413985]Is it a fear of ANYONE touching her or a fear of a male doctor touching her? I'm not super comfortable with male gynos just because. It's a little uncomfortable and their hands tend to be bigger than women's. Female gynos are super nice because they tend to know what it's like having to sit there and be touched and probed out of necessity. So they might make her feel a little more at ease. But yeah idk if she refuses to get a medical exam, especially if it's a legitimate medical condition that's preventing you two from having proper sex, then there probably isn't a whole lot you can do, unless you want to forego the act entirely. But I don't think you want to do that.[/QUOTE] Well her appointment is with a female doctor so I don't know. She's never been to a gyno before but from what she's heard she expects it's going to be uncomfortable. I felt she was not well so I managed to convince her to come over so we could talk a bit. As expected she was pretty sad and cried, she said she was losing hope of us being able to do it, said she didn't feel the urge to try anymore (though I suppose that's temporary since yesterday night we were dry humping and it excited her very much, same when I touched her and told her naughty things so that's probably her being depressed which gives her this impression? I don't know.) I told her that if nothing turned up at the gyno, we could see a sexologist, to which she reacted by saying she didn't want to because she wouldn't know what to say to her. I told her that's the entire point of seeing psychologists in the first place, to help us put words on our problems to try and understand them better. Not sure if that convinced her, but as far as I know sexologists are the go-to professionals to treat vaginismus? I don't really know anymore. Anyway we had a bit of a hugging time so she feels a bit better now, but I'm still concerned about this.

[QUOTE=_Axel;50414767]Well her appointment is with a female doctor so I don't know. She's never been to a gyno before but from what she's heard she expects it's going to be uncomfortable. I felt she was not well so I managed to convince her to come over so we could talk a bit. As expected she was pretty sad and cried, she said she was losing hope of us being able to do it, said she didn't feel the urge to try anymore (though I suppose that's temporary since yesterday night we were dry humping and it excited her very much, same when I touched her and told her naughty things so that's probably her being depressed which gives her this impression? I don't know.) I told her that if nothing turned up at the gyno, we could see a sexologist, to which she reacted by saying she didn't want to because she wouldn't know what to say to her. I told her that's the entire point of seeing psychologists in the first place, to help us put words on our problems to try and understand them better. Not sure if that convinced her, but as far as I know sexologists are the go-to professionals to treat vaginismus? I don't really know anymore. Anyway we had a bit of a hugging time so she feels a bit better now, but I'm still concerned about this.[/QUOTE] I mean it's uncomfortable, but it's not painful or anything unless there's something wrong. Even then, a gyno visit doesn't take very long anyway. Typically, you're in and out because they got other stuff to do.

[QUOTE=Pascall;50413947]There's a difference between "changing yourself" and "working on improvement". No one should be forced to change for the benefit of their partner, but everyone should be willing to learn and improve.[/QUOTE] I know, I've told her many times that she shouldn't ever change for me, and I can't tell if this is just improvement or changing. It's just that at this point, I don't know if I'm willing to put in the effort to "improve" her or if I should just find someone who is already more compatible with me. [QUOTE=Cosa8888;50413943]You didn't talk to her about the issue before deciding to break up? I can't see what's wrong with her wanting to make a change, if she manages to do it, it would be great becauE the issue would be gone, and if she doesn't, well, that would be it.[/QUOTE] I did. And she made some progress, and then it regressed again. Several times. I think that part of it is just that in some ways our personalities are incompatible but I can't tell.

Well I just came back from my cinema date, and I actually did what you guys said: ask her if she sees us just as friends or if there is more than that. Sadly she told me she saw me just as a great friend. But I'm really happy how it turned out. There was this slight disappointment of course, but we finally know what we can expect from each other and being able to stay friends is great since I love hanging out with her in general. I learned a lot, and finally my wallet can get some rest. Thanks for the advice lads, it really helped out in the end.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50415646]For a while, I've been kinda bored of the conversations me and my girlfriend have. It was like the same back-and-forth "i love you" "I love you too" "I miss you" "I miss you too" But I talked to her about it, and now she's really trying to have interesting conversations, and I love it. Some are silly, some are genuine, but it's [I]different[/I] and good. Communication is key to all human interaction, folks.[/QUOTE] I find that this happens from time to time, especially when I spend long periods with her alone. Just really run out of interesting topics to talk about.

How likely is it for a pregnancy to result from butt stuff? Like finishing in the butt?

[QUOTE=Bleach Qeef;50420420]How likely is it for a pregnancy to result from butt stuff? Like finishing in the butt?[/QUOTE] that's how gay babies are born

[QUOTE=Bleach Qeef;50420420]How likely is it for a pregnancy to result from butt stuff? Like finishing in the butt?[/QUOTE] Depends. Did you start with unprotected vaginal without ejaculation?

It can kinda uh, migrate a bit depending on the circumstance. Think it's very unlikely though unless you started unprotected vaginal first.

Had the best date of my life. Felt like in a romcom. Kiss for good bye. Two days later I get a message "I had a nice day but i'm not into you so lets don't get this further" wtf

[QUOTE=Riller;50421175]Depends. Did you start with unprotected vaginal without ejaculation?[/QUOTE] Yeah, migrated from that to the butt for the grand finale, girl said none of it migrated to her lady parts but who knows.

Pre-cum can contain a little bit of sperm too

-prolly shouldnt post that :v: - Yeah, precum can get girls preggers. Small chance but still

If sex ed taught me anything, then any and all unprotected vaginal sex will get the girl 1000% pregnant. You have a 10000% higher chance to get pregnant doing the pullout-method than you do mapping ovulation, doing fertility treatment and specializing your sexual positions to work with gravity to ease the flow. Science facts. TL;DR, she's probably already preggers with triplets.

My girlfriend and I broke up last night. Really thought things would be different this time. You always see that sorta stuff happen to other people, and probably see a lot of it on here as well, but I suppose I didn't think it would happen to me again.

[QUOTE=thermobaric;50417531]Well I just came back from my cinema date, and I actually did what you guys said: ask her if she sees us just as friends or if there is more than that. Sadly she told me she saw me just as a great friend. But I'm really happy how it turned out. There was this slight disappointment of course, but we finally know what we can expect from each other and being able to stay friends is great since I love hanging out with her in general. I learned a lot, and finally my wallet can get some rest. Thanks for the advice lads, it really helped out in the end.[/QUOTE] Let this be a lesson to everyone that just manning up and being blunt will get you a lot further than stressing over an issue [editline]31st May 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Killuah;50421330]Had the best date of my life. Felt like in a romcom. Kiss for good bye. Two days later I get a message "I had a nice day but i'm not into you so lets don't get this further" wtf[/QUOTE] What she means is that she just found someone else. Look on the bright side, at least you're not going to have to deal with women who will change partners at the drop of a hat. [editline]31st May 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=cheesylard;50409532]Shouldn't you be happy you made someone's life better? Why would you want to undo that?[/QUOTE] If you live your life for someone else and don't have any focus on your own happiness, then you're gonna have a bad time.

so I delivered my ex a letter today. [t]http://i.imgur.com/zaLNmv2.jpg[/t] /context/ she's leaving to work on a cruise in a couple weeks and won't come back to town, she's going out in the world. hope she gets the best man, brave new world ahead.

Seems kinda desperate to me man, but I don't know your relationship.