Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

[QUOTE=Bleach Qeef;50426762]Seems kinda desperate to me man, but I don't know your relationship.[/QUOTE] tl:dr story type :pyramid:

I was just always taught and I believe myself that ex's are ex's and going no contact is the best solution. Your done, she's done, don't cause anymore unnecessary stress for either of you. I've seen so many of my friends do it and it just causes this really long and needlessly drawn out process of separation when it could've just been ended.

I only cared for dating people I'm friends with first, for a number of reasons, like, having someone to talk to about shit that it's not only sentimental. Friendship lasts longer than romance, I guess, I think it's fine to bid farewell.

My gf's mom added me on facebook. *panic*

poke her

It's funny because she has the same name as my girlfriend. I'm afraid I'll drunk text her one day by mistake and send her a dick pic.

[QUOTE=Mr. N;50411817]Just had sex with a best friend of a best friend of mine after like 2 months of tension. Now I think we are seeing eachother kinda but I'm not sure what's going on but I'm ok with it.[/QUOTE] Now we are going to explore an abandoned insane asylum. Romance.

I added my gf's mom to my Facebook as well and she started to comment on photos like [QUOTE]"Oh you both look like such a happy couple,,,, seems you had a beautiful day,,,,, much love from me and my husband [tagging husbanbd] xxx"[/QUOTE] Removed her a week later and she hasn't noticed yet

Ignore bullshit that LDR's do not work out. They can work out, they just require dedication, love, honesty, loyalty, and above all communication (and respect). Communication is so important in LDR, and if that's lost, you can really lose your tracks, and things get complicated. I am speaking from perspective of a rather tremendous failure of a LDR, which in itself was made complicated due to illness' etc. I still have a positive out look on LDR's, you just have to be with someone who is truly dedicated, loves you, and respects you, and are aware that relationships all have set backs, and that it's a team effort. I am gutted that mine fell through the gutter (by text), but I am kind of glad I didn't end up properly settling down and having children with someone who didn't love me anymore. The one thing I will say is, if one of you have personal difficulty, it may be daunting at first, but try your best to be there for that person as much as you can. You do not have to be an emotional crutch, supporting someone is different to that. Supporting someone is telling them that they will get through it, it's distracting them if they're thinking of things that they do not want to think or speak about, it's checking up on them to see how their day was, spending quality time together, and just letting them know that you're there. In addition, it is also important to recognise when your partner is no longer interested, and it is better to nip that in the bud sooner rather than later. Especially, if they are mistreating you because of them being so indecisive. I will add too that no relationship should be one-sided, you deserve an equal relationship. Don't take no bullshit! :)

[QUOTE=GisG56;50429498]Ignore bullshit that LDR's do not work out. They can work out, they just require dedication, love, honesty, loyalty, and above all communication (and respect). Communication is so important in LDR, and if that's lost, you can really lose your tracks, and things get complicated. I am speaking from perspective of a rather tremendous failure of a LDR, which in itself was made complicated due to illness' etc. I still have a positive out look on LDR's, you just have to be with someone who is truly dedicated, loves you, and respects you, and are aware that relationships all have set backs, and that it's a team effort. I am gutted that mine fell through the gutter (by text), but I am kind of glad I didn't end up properly settling down and having children with someone who didn't love me anymore. The one thing I will say is, if one of you have personal difficulty, it may be daunting at first, but try your best to be there for that person as much as you can. You do not have to be an emotional crutch, supporting someone is different to that. Supporting someone is telling them that they will get through it, it's distracting them if they're thinking of things that they do not want to think or speak about, it's checking up on them to see how their day was, spending quality time together, and just letting them know that you're there. In addition, it is also important to recognise when your partner is no longer interested, and it is better to nip that in the bud sooner rather than later. Especially, if they are mistreating you because of them being so indecisive. I will add too that no relationship should be one-sided, you deserve an equal relationship. Don't take no bullshit! :)[/QUOTE] I can attest to this. I'm in a long distance relationship. About 300Km apart. It's tough. It requires you to be strong and not easily prone to drama. But if you absolutely love each other and talk things through, it works. I've been together with what seems to be the perfect woman (in every aspect) since March. It's going great even though we haven't seen each other for a month now (due to her school). It's been working and it feels real. But you can't let negativity and pessimism take over and things have to be taken with much more patience than with a close distance relationship. From my personal experience, I can't say that there are rules for making it work, but there are surely things that you should take in consideration in order for things to work. In my case, I think that openness about issues, feelings, insecurities is absolutely crucial. Don't be afraid of being afraid, share it. It's important to know what you're both looking for and reach an understanding on what you both like and want. Keep in mind that in a LDR things take a while more to sink in because of the lack of physical presence to confirm what you're feeling. Another thing you should keep in mind when in a LDR is not to rush things when you're together. You'll have time for great experiences, so there's no use in rushing things to be perfect while stressing out on the fact that you only have that weekend to see each other. LDR couples tend to shove everything in the little time they are together, and focus too much on making things feel perfect in those brief moments of togetherness. And it becomes stressful. When you're together, just chill. And I mean it. Act like you'd act in a normal relationship. Take a nap together, watch a movie, do boring couple stuff together. You don't need to make a huge ceremony, dine at expensive restaurants and all that every time you're together. You have to accept that you have the time to do everything you want to do together it will just take a little more time than with a normal couple. Communication is crucial. I text/chat/skype with my girlfriend everyday. I'm not saying you should make it a routine but it's important to feel connected. And it's crucial to make plans for the future. Work for the relationship in order for it to go somewhere instead of being in the state of LDR forever. [editline]31st May 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=darth-veger;50429458]I added my gf's mom to my Facebook as well and she started to comment on photos like Removed her a week later and she hasn't noticed yet[/QUOTE] Mine commented in a photo of us together: "Look, it's Ken (my gf) and Snow White (me). What sort of movie is this" I keep her around because she has a good sense of humor and likes stuff that I post.

I've been in a (semi-) LDR for close to 2 years and it's fantastic. In fact, it's better than previous relationships I've had that were closer to home (biking distance). Thing is, as Behemoth pointed out, acting as if you see each other every day has been the best way to deal with it. Don't stress out that you miss out on certain things that other couples might do sooner/faster/whatever. Take it easy and appreciate being together first and foremost. Trust trumps communication, and recognize the fact that your lives are more separate than you'd might like them to be. It's the truth, and no reason to dance around it. As long as he/she gives you that special feeling when you're together, it's all good.

tbh people who get into LDRs with someone they've never actually met in person before baffle me. I'd understand getting into an LDR if you were in a strong, longstanding relationship beforehand, and circumstances caused you both to have to be apart for a while. I genuinely couldn't do an LDR if there wasn't a "light at the end of the tunnel" scenario. Knowing that it'd only be a year or something until we were back together again would make it worthwhile. Otherwise, I think LDRs are more stress than they're worth.

I'll confess that I feel scared sometimes about things not working out and reading about other people's experiences on how it's working out makes me feel really hopeful. Yeah, for example, me and my girlfriend have been talking about what have been our sweetest memories of us both, I told her that I loved the fact that I felt totally comfortable falling asleep next to her watching a shitty movie. She responded that she liked that I felt that way because she's absolutely crazy with things to be perfect, like she isn't doing enough. I'm usually the one telling her to calm down and chill. And it's been working much much better since we both established that we didn't want to stress ourselves in squeezing every special "do together" thing in a couple of days. Also her mom liked me a lot and let's me stay at her place for some weeks now and then (which is great). My parents and friends also like my girlfriend a lot, which helps. (More my parents, I couldn't care less about what my friends think) - but surprisingly, my parents who are very strict about not letting women sleep with me in the same bed, let her sleep with me in my room right away.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;50429595]I can attest to this. I'm in a long distance relationship. About 300Km apart. It's tough. It requires you to be strong and not easily prone to drama. But if you absolutely love each other and talk things through, it works. I've been together with what seems to be the perfect woman (in every aspect) since March. It's going great even though we haven't seen each other for a month now (due to her school). It's been working and it feels real. But you can't let negativity and pessimism take over and things have to be taken with much more patience than with a close distance relationship. From my personal experience, I can't say that there are rules for making it work, but there are surely things that you should take in consideration in order for things to work. In my case, I think that openness about issues, feelings, insecurities is absolutely crucial. Don't be afraid of being afraid, share it. It's important to know what you're both looking for and reach an understanding on what you both like and want. Keep in mind that in a LDR things take a while more to sink in because of the lack of physical presence to confirm what you're feeling. Another thing you should keep in mind when in a LDR is not to rush things when you're together. You'll have time for great experiences, so there's no use in rushing things to be perfect while stressing out on the fact that you only have that weekend to see each other. LDR couples tend to shove everything in the little time they are together, and focus too much on making things feel perfect in those brief moments of togetherness. And it becomes stressful. When you're together, just chill. And I mean it. Act like you'd act in a normal relationship. Take a nap together, watch a movie, do boring couple stuff together. You don't need to make a huge ceremony, dine at expensive restaurants and all that every time you're together. You have to accept that you have the time to do everything you want to do together it will just take a little more time than with a normal couple. Communication is crucial. I text/chat/skype with my girlfriend everyday. I'm not saying you should make it a routine but it's important to feel connected. And it's crucial to make plans for the future. Work for the relationship in order for it to go somewhere instead of being in the state of LDR forever. [/QUOTE] Exactly!! Definitely. You cannot get through when you are not positive and cannot talk through problems!! suppressing problems and not communicating is the worst thing to do. Aw that sounds lovely, I am really happy that you have someone who appreciates, loves and accepts you :) I hope you guys last. Definitely. Unfortunately, the guy that I love didn't have the patience, and I was hard to deal with though things were just getting better and he decided to end things. As I said I am gutted, but then I guess it means I can find someone who truly loves me and accepts and supports me. Yes of course there isn't a fine set of rules how it works, but there are general guidelines such as communication, care, support, love, honest, commitment etc. Defo! openness and ability to talk through issues, and not attack each other is absolutely vital. I mean with my situation, we were together almost a year before ldr so it was transition which was tough, but it would've been okay. I guess I was just too optimistic, and though I knew he was unsure about his feelings, I was hoping he'd weigh out positives and negatives, and notice that there were a shit ton more positives. Yeah I agree with that too. It becomes so stressful that it's like a chore, and you shouldn't get too attached either because otherwise it takes over your life, and if that ends, then it ruins your life. It hasn't "ruined my life". I can still survive, I have food and water etc, but I don't want to be without him, so in a way it has ruined everything for me currently. Yeah, we used to do that early days... It's important to have personal space too, not only for the other person but for yourself too because otherwise you lose yourself. That's very good that you do that. I am sure she feels very loved, and appreciated; it is important to give her personal space when she needs it too though. That explains why it's going so well for you guys, and I am happy to hear that. I agree... I agree with all of what you are saying, just sucks it's all over now, and not really in my control, ,I cannot do anything to change his mind. Going to take a while to get through this but I should be okay. [editline]31st May 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;50429853]I'll confess that I feel scared sometimes about things not working out and reading about other people's experiences on how it's working out makes me feel really hopeful. Yeah, for example, me and my girlfriend have been talking about what have been our sweetest memories of us both, I told her that I loved the fact that I felt totally comfortable falling asleep next to her watching a shitty movie. She responded that she liked that I felt that way because she's absolutely crazy with things to be perfect, like she isn't doing enough. I'm usually the one telling her to calm down and chill. And it's been working much much better since we both established that we didn't want to stress ourselves in squeezing every special "do together" thing in a couple of days. Also her mom liked me a lot and let's me stay at her place for some weeks now and then (which is great). My parents and friends also like my girlfriend a lot, which helps. (More my parents, I couldn't care less about what my friends think) - but surprisingly, my parents who are very strict about not letting women sleep with me in the same bed, let her sleep with me in my room right away.[/QUOTE] You do not need to feel bad about feeling scared. It's natural to feel a bit wobbly in a relationship where you spend a lot of time away from each other. It sucks. But it's also important not to dwell in negativity, otherwise, the worst thing that could happen, will happen. That's a good idea. Making sure that you not only have a catch up, but that you're actually actively doing positive activities together. It's good that you get on with her family and friends. I used to think I got on with my ex's family and friends, though I am not sure now. It was hard because he couldn't really come round mine until recently due to personal family issues. I guess I wish that he did get to know them, and they got to know him better. I think deep down, I know it was probably for the best, especially if he wasn't feeling it, but I'm devastated about it. It was the last thing I wanted to happen, and despite our ups and downs, every time I saw him in person, it was that feeling that everyone says; "like seeing your food coming in a restaurant" (not to objectify him or anything, just trying to explain the feeling). He made me very happy, distance made things a bit rocky (though it wasn't really the distance that was the issue, it was more other factors that affected how well it would of functioned so far away). Anyways, I don't really want to go too far into it, I feel like I am talking about it too much and saying too much. The last thing I will say though is that the end of it was both mine and his loss. We lost a fantastic relationship and connection that we had built together and at quite a rash decision as well. He made a bad choice for the both of us. Whether he'll ever admit or see that, I don't know - I doubt it.

Well, thanks for your input. Don't feel bad about telling us about your experience. If there's a place for saying "too much" this is it. We actually have a plan. A light at the end of the tunnel. I'm thinking about moving to her city once I'm done with my degree. It will take a year. (it will probably take a bit more than that). Also transport is pretty cheap. So it's doable.

hey facepunch im gonna get my peebis wet for the first time next month what do i do about hair i was told shaving comes with owwies and itchies do i just like trim it like some kind of basement fashionista

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;50431640]Well, thanks for your input. Don't feel bad about telling us about your experience. If there's a place for saying "too much" this is it. We actually have a plan. A light at the end of the tunnel. I'm thinking about moving to her city once I'm done with my degree. It will take a year. (it will probably take a bit more than that). Also transport is pretty cheap. So it's doable.[/QUOTE] That's so lovely! Good luck to you both :)

the easiest and quickest way is to get a trimmer and take it down so there's very little left. no regrowth itch and you're far less likely to cut yourself doing it. I've shaved for years and never had an issue but it isn't for everyone

Hey guys, I could really use some advice on meeting more girls. For some reason I've never been able to get to know a lot of them, even though I'm not scared of meeting them. t's just that I rarely get the opportunity to meet girls. You may be thinking 'well, just go out more' but sadly most of my friends aren't interested in that, and the ones who are are either international classmates (which my study consists of for ~70%) which don't like bars (because everyone speaks dutch), and friends who wanna go home early because the trains stop driving to our villages after midnight. I'll probably join a student association in the beginning of the next year of my studies to meet new people to go out with, but that's still gonna take 3 months. Any suggestions for meeting girls in the mean time? I've tried tinder before but oh god I've had a terrible experience with it. I got some matches but most of the time the girls didn't reply, and when they did they weren't interested in actually dating. I've had a couple of dates but after all the hassle I didn't feel like it was worth the trouble. Maybe it was because I didn't put in enough ~effort~ for my pictures and bio, but jeez 3 decent pics of yourself isn't sufficient to please them apparently. I kinda feel like giving it another shot, but do you guys think it's worth it? It feels like a shithole of constant disappointment.

[QUOTE=thermobaric;50433099]Hey guys, I could really use some advice on meeting more girls. For some reason I've never been able to get to know a lot of them, even though I'm not scared of meeting them. t's just that I rarely get the opportunity to meet girls. You may be thinking 'well, just go out more' but sadly most of my friends aren't interested in that, and the ones who are are either international classmates (which my study consists of for ~70%) which don't like bars (because everyone speaks dutch), and friends who wanna go home early because the trains stop driving to our villages after midnight. I'll probably join a student association in the beginning of the next year of my studies to meet new people to go out with, but that's still gonna take 3 months. Any suggestions for meeting girls in the mean time? I've tried tinder before but oh god I've had a terrible experience with it. I got some matches but most of the time the girls didn't reply, and when they did they weren't interested in actually dating. I've had a couple of dates but after all the hassle I didn't feel like it was worth the trouble. Maybe it was because I didn't put in enough ~effort~ for my pictures and bio, but jeez 3 decent pics of yourself isn't sufficient to please them apparently. I kinda feel like giving it another shot, but do you guys think it's worth it? It feels like a shithole of constant disappointment.[/QUOTE] OKC? Everyone's looking to date on it

[QUOTE=dcalde78;50432480]the easiest and quickest way is to get a trimmer and take it down so there's very little left. no regrowth itch and you're far less likely to cut yourself doing it. I've shaved for years and never had an issue but it isn't for everyone[/QUOTE] If I trim too short I get mad itches. Also answering the guy asking what he should do about pubic hair: it's entirely up to you. Some people like going completely hairless, but I personally find it weird looking and only do it rarely (if she explicitly asks). Most of the time I'll trim everything short and then shave all the edges / the gonads so it's nice and neat. Don't forget to shave your gooch

[QUOTE=loopoo;50429852]I genuinely couldn't do an LDR if there wasn't a "light at the end of the tunnel" scenario.[/QUOTE] The thing is, even when there is a "light at the end of the tunnel", it's often at a huge risk to one person. Moving away from your other friends or family to be with a partner is an incredible gamble and relying entirely on your partner for social support is a huge weight on a relationship. You have no idea how living with someone is going to work out until you've actually done it. In a LDR you have almost no impact on each other's lives past your relatives being aware of the other's existence. You won't know how you or your partner will respond to conflicts over things like chores and money until it happens, and when you're living together it's much more difficult to back out if things don't work.

I guess I should clarify what a "light at the end of the tunnel" situation is to me: I was studying for two years in a place, but I fucked up and had to go away for a year to resit some exams. We did the LDR for the year I was away and then when I got back it was A-okay. I guess uprooting your entire life for someone isn't the best decision, but my entire life was where she was to begin with so I wasn't giving anything up.

for whatever reason I'm finding myself really hesitant to be in a relationship again I think it's because my last one ended so poorly but I have real cold feet about this and I don't know why the girl's pretty great, she's cute, hella funny and smart, career driven and a massive nerd and all these things should be getting me going but there's this jitter in my head that doesn't feel like I'll be happy. I can't tell if it's just the usual self destructive feelings. Been missing my ex like crazy again for whatever reason which is bullshit because I thought I was over that there's this terrible part of me that realizes I'm 20 and wants to just mess around and have fun with the world but I know that'd leave me unhappy too. I've been stressing m'self sick lately and I don't want to ruin smoething but I know I'm going to.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;50434592]The thing is, even when there is a "light at the end of the tunnel", it's often at a huge risk to one person. Moving away from your other friends or family to be with a partner is an incredible gamble and relying entirely on your partner for social support is a huge weight on a relationship. You have no idea how living with someone is going to work out until you've actually done it. In a LDR you have almost no impact on each other's lives past your relatives being aware of the other's existence. You won't know how you or your partner will respond to conflicts over things like chores and money until it happens, and when you're living together it's much more difficult to back out if things don't work.[/QUOTE] In my case it isn't that big of a deal to move close to her. I love my city but I'm well aware of the fact that this isn't the place for me. And eventually every one of my friends will move away from here too. Moving to her city once I'm done with the degree is not going to be such a big deal for me either. I have friends and family up there that I haven't been able to see in almost a year. I'm sure a lot of water's going to run under the bridge. And I don't plan on moving in with her right away if things go in that direction. I'll find a place of my own and see how things go from there. If it goes wrong I don't think any of us will reach a point of no return. I don't know where I want to go and live. I just know I feel isolated here. I'd rather be taking this risk a thousand times more than be stuck here any longer. If things go wrong, I'll ve ready to accept that.

I will try not to project my own history onto your situation - any more than I already have, at least - but all the same, be careful. You need to think about what will happen if you break up while living together and how you will deal with it. I moved far away from my own family and there have been many times where I had absolutely no friends in this area whatsoever. There have been a couple times when I was too ill to really take care of myself for several days at a time and it can be really scary knowing that you have nobody in the area who can help you when you need it. The thought has crossed my mind a handful of times that I could die alone in my apartment and it might be a couple weeks before anyone figures it out.

I appreciate the input and I've been very down to earth about the possibility of it going wrong. I'm being careful as I go because this is all very new to me. Actually I would never feel isolated since I'd have close friends around. We actually discuss our insecurities as a couple very openly and explore every possibility and we seem to reach a very down to earth consensus. Our families are very supportive too. It seems that it has everything to go right. (at least so far). And as long as it's going in a good direction I don't see a motive to not pursue this even further. As far as we're concerned we love each other, and things are doing great. None of us feels any stress into making things happen and we're aware of the difficulties. I think she's a person worth keeping, she's... special. She's caring and a true companion and she feels the same about me. If I could have a word for this relationship, that word would be freedom. I feel absolutely free. Everything feels new and fresh. She unlocked good things in me that were blocked out by insecurities, and the fun thing is that she feels the same way about me. And even though I have proven to be very delusional and hot headed, this time I'm not saying it lightly. Our lives aren't that incompatible and living in her city isn't such an irreversible thing to be honest. I don't feel nervous or anxious about it. I'm not planing on living with her right away, we both have our families and our careers and I absolutely support her independence. Breaking up with her would be tough as hell, I understand that, I'm aware of that and I'm being careful. So as far as I'm concerned I'm finishing my degree here, hopefully in a year and then move to her city and try to work and rent a place, and then we'll see how things work out from there and how natural it will feel to move in together. That's why we're keeping it cool, we have an understanding that there's no need to rush things.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;50429426]It's funny because she has the same name as my girlfriend. I'm afraid I'll drunk text her one day by mistake and send her a dick pic.[/QUOTE] A drunk mistake, or a drunk opportunity?

So I just asked this girl out on a date. She said yes!

I just had a girl on tinder tell me she just broke up with her bf and is looking to hook up. This is only like the 8th person to match with me and I have never hooked up with a relative stranger, much less even met anybody from tinder. How do I tell if this is legit?