Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

[QUOTE=guterfreund;49488912]I feel like I have done something horrible. Two days ago my girlfriend and I were fooling around in my bed. We haven't been dating for long, but things have progressed really quickly, and I think we both have very strong feelings for each other. (Side note, we are both 17, so pretty young). We haven't had sex with each other, but have done everything but. Anyway, as we were fooling around, we both gradually got undressed, until we were both fully undressed. Eventually she started giving me a handjob, and after a while of that, she started rubbing my penis against the outside of her vagina. She kept doing this for a while, I guess until she got tired of being on top of me, so she went down onto her back and then pulled me down with her. She kept doing the same thing she was doing before, but eventually she moved her hands away, and so I kept doing it on my own. She told me to keep going, and I did, but one time I moved my hips back too far, so when they went back forward, my penis went partway into her vagina. She seemed to enjoy it, so I went a little farther, but she told me to stop, and I did immediately. And I thought it would be okay, but she began to cry. And I felt like a horrible, horrible person. I apologized profusely and explained that I never planned for that to happen, and told her I was so, so sorry, and she told me it was okay and that I mean the world to her. And after that we got dressed again and continued hanging out. And I brought it up two more times and told her how sorry I was, and each time she said I have nothing to be sorry about and that everything was okay. But at a random point later in the night she had tears in her eyes again, and I asked her if everything was okay, and she said it was, and I said that if there was anything she wanted to say that she could, and she said there was nothing. And I offered to drop her off at home and call it a day, and she very forwardly told me "no! Please, not yet. Its okay." I don't know what to think. I feel like I have committed a crime, and I can't stop thinking about it. I have no idea how I can truly reconcile with her. We had a conversation midway through the day (after that happened) and she told me that I am her favorite person in the world, and I mean everything to her. And that's just the thing - she still shows signs of affection, and she outwardly hasn't seemed upset since it happened, except the one time I looked over and saw she had tears in her eyes. What do I do? How badly have I fucked up? I don't think our relationship is over or anything, but I can't stop feeling horrible, and I am worried that she will now have feelings of resentment for what happened and toward me.[/QUOTE] is she christian or something what's the big deal [editline]8th January 2016[/editline] it'll be okay you didn't kill her parents or anything [editline]8th January 2016[/editline] unless you did?? then shame on you i guess

[QUOTE=Dysentery;49489134]is she christian or something what's the big deal [editline]8th January 2016[/editline] it'll be okay you didn't kill her parents or anything [editline]8th January 2016[/editline] unless you did?? then shame on you i guess[/QUOTE] the big deal is that when it happened she was crying a lot. I have only been in a few relationships, but I have never made a girl cry, and especially not after some sexual thing like that. She gave the impression that I hurt her emotionally, and it made me feel terrible. She is not christian, and has no values that would prevent her from being against something like that. But she has had some terrible, terrible boyfriends in the past, which she has only told me partly about. And I think that may have something to do with it. But because of her reaction, I feel like I have violated her, and it is not a good feeling

[QUOTE=guterfreund;49489377]the big deal is that when it happened she was crying a lot. I have only been in a few relationships, but I have never made a girl cry, and especially not after some sexual thing like that. She gave the impression that I hurt her emotionally, and it made me feel terrible. She is not christian, and has no values that would prevent her from being against something like that. But she has had some terrible, terrible boyfriends in the past, which she has only told me partly about. And I think that may have something to do with it. But because of her reaction, I feel like I have violated her, and it is not a good feeling[/QUOTE] If she's had past sexual trauma, it's possible she had a flashback or was reminded of a past experience. If this is the case, it sounds like she recognizes that you have no intent to harm her.

Man it's dumb but just trying to enjoy MGSV when I see my ex pops up online on PSN and in a second she goes offline and I check and realized she removed me It's the little reminders that suck.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49489032]Unless the IUD was inserted improperly/was pushed out, the copper part of the IUD should be entirely inside the uterus. There's a string that hangs out of the cervix for removal and it's possible that's what scraped you - however, the string softens over time, and after having it for a while you shouldn't notice it during sex.[/QUOTE] I honestly couldn't tell you what was really happening, all I knew is that I would pull my tool out and it would be bleeding with gashes in it, but like you said it was most likely the strings coming off of it. [editline]9th January 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=guterfreund;49489377]the big deal is that when it happened she was crying a lot. I have only been in a few relationships, but I have never made a girl cry, and especially not after some sexual thing like that. She gave the impression that I hurt her emotionally, and it made me feel terrible. She is not christian, and has no values that would prevent her from being against something like that. But she has had some terrible, terrible boyfriends in the past, which she has only told me partly about. And I think that may have something to do with it. But because of her reaction, I feel like I have violated her, and it is not a good feeling[/QUOTE] Sounds like she has some sort of trauma or views sex as a guilty thing she shouldn't do. Don't force her to talk about it but keep reminding her that you're there for her and you're not going to look down on her for something that happened to her that was out of her control, or something she did before she met you/started dating you. [editline]9th January 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Colteh;49489087]just hung out with a girl i really like for coffee for the first time ever, have no idea how to keep up stable contact without appearing super awkward/needy![/QUOTE] Ask for a follow up date and just let conversation flow like it normally would. If it dies off just pick it back up tomorrow or a few hours later. If shes interested she'll text back.

[QUOTE=guterfreund;49489377]the big deal is that when it happened she was crying a lot. I have only been in a few relationships, but I have never made a girl cry, and especially not after some sexual thing like that. She gave the impression that I hurt her emotionally, and it made me feel terrible. She is not christian, and has no values that would prevent her from being against something like that. But she has had some terrible, terrible boyfriends in the past, which she has only told me partly about. And I think that may have something to do with it. But because of her reaction, I feel like I have violated her, and it is not a good feeling[/QUOTE] You have not violated her, you stopped as soon as she expressed discomfort right? You should not do something that your partner don't want to do but we can't read minds, communication is a two way street as they say. Don't think about this too much just be more careful next time because she seems to have some issues.

I'm afraid that I'm so good at foreplay that I might give someone unrealistic expectations when I actually have sex with them. Like, what if she's so turned on and horny and then I just ruin all of it by not being able to find where to go in? Or only lasting a few minutes? Help :(

[QUOTE=NixNax123;49493118]not being able to find where to go in?[/QUOTE] pretty much impossible [quote]Or only lasting a few minutes? [/quote] it's not the end of the world if that happens. if it does keep happening there are various things you can try to remedy it (for example you can get condoms that numb your rod slightly or whatever to make you last longer). hell even just going slowly can help with it. try not to worry about it though, worrying makes everything worse. fuck knows how I managed to get it up, let alone even finish when I was suffering from stress/anxiety a couple of years ago.

[QUOTE=dcalde78;49493265]pretty much impossible it's not the end of the world if that happens. if it does keep happening there are various things you can try to remedy it (for example you can get condoms that numb your rod slightly or whatever to make you last longer). hell even just going slowly can help with it. try not to worry about it though, worrying makes everything worse. fuck knows how I managed to get it up, let alone even finish when I was suffering from stress/anxiety a couple of years ago.[/QUOTE] I guess I'm just worried because my first time was terrible because I had a hard time knowing where to get it in. So I don't want that to happen again. Thanks for the advice! I agree, I try my best not to suddenly have anxiety when I'm about to fuck but sometimes it just happens.

on a different note, the girl I've been speaking to said to me that she's seeing someone. I've been chatting to her every day for a while now and I asked what she was up to (I was working a half day today when I was supposed to be off, was going to see if I could get some time to hang out), I can't remember exactly what she said (we speak on snapchat, I'm not sure why when I have her on facebook...) but she did say she was meeting with someone she was seeing. so that's a tad disappointing. anything can happen though. story of my life though. either the girl I'm interested in is taken, or I have no idea they like me until it's way too late (back in my first year of secondary school I liked a girl, I found out 5 years later she liked me too :v:)

[QUOTE=NixNax123;49493118]I'm afraid that I'm so good at foreplay that I might give someone unrealistic expectations when I actually have sex with them. Like, what if she's so turned on and horny and then I just ruin all of it by not being able to find where to go in? Or only lasting a few minutes? Help :([/QUOTE] Foreplay is like pumping a supersoaker, the more you pump, the further their excitement goes when you start squirting that shit around. If you're good at foreplay, you're good at foreplay. Don't overthink it. It's a good trait. I'm good at foreplay but shit at sex, but still please cos I can get them wetter than an otters pocket and use foreplay techniques like fingering during the intercourse to get them off

[QUOTE=NixNax123;49493281]I guess I'm just worried because my first time was terrible because I had a hard time knowing where to get it in. So I don't want that to happen again. Thanks for the advice! I agree, I try my best not to suddenly have anxiety when I'm about to fuck but sometimes it just happens.[/QUOTE] seriously if you feel like you're going to bust too soon, just pause for a moment. kiss her, her boobs, whatever. just don't be thrusting yo. then once the "oh shit here it comes" feeling passes, carry on taking her to pound town

[QUOTE=guterfreund;49488912]I feel like I have done something horrible. Two days ago my girlfriend and I were fooling around in my bed. We haven't been dating for long, but things have progressed really quickly, and I think we both have very strong feelings for each other. (Side note, we are both 17, so pretty young). We haven't had sex with each other, but have done everything but. Anyway, as we were fooling around, we both gradually got undressed, until we were both fully undressed. Eventually she started giving me a handjob, and after a while of that, she started rubbing my penis against the outside of her vagina. She kept doing this for a while, I guess until she got tired of being on top of me, so she went down onto her back and then pulled me down with her. She kept doing the same thing she was doing before, but eventually she moved her hands away, and so I kept doing it on my own. She told me to keep going, and I did, but one time I moved my hips back too far, so when they went back forward, my penis went partway into her vagina. She seemed to enjoy it, so I went a little farther, but she told me to stop, and I did immediately. And I thought it would be okay, but she began to cry. And I felt like a horrible, horrible person. I apologized profusely and explained that I never planned for that to happen, and told her I was so, so sorry, and she told me it was okay and that I mean the world to her. And after that we got dressed again and continued hanging out. And I brought it up two more times and told her how sorry I was, and each time she said I have nothing to be sorry about and that everything was okay. But at a random point later in the night she had tears in her eyes again, and I asked her if everything was okay, and she said it was, and I said that if there was anything she wanted to say that she could, and she said there was nothing. And I offered to drop her off at home and call it a day, and she very forwardly told me "no! Please, not yet. Its okay." I don't know what to think. I feel like I have committed a crime, and I can't stop thinking about it. I have no idea how I can truly reconcile with her. We had a conversation midway through the day (after that happened) and she told me that I am her favorite person in the world, and I mean everything to her. And that's just the thing - she still shows signs of affection, and she outwardly hasn't seemed upset since it happened, except the one time I looked over and saw she had tears in her eyes. What do I do? How badly have I fucked up? I don't think our relationship is over or anything, but I can't stop feeling horrible, and I am worried that she will now have feelings of resentment for what happened and toward me.[/QUOTE] She's either very very VERY insecure about her body, or something happened to her in the past. However, sex shouldn't be traumatic, there's something not right with her. Try talking to her about it later on. Don't push the subject if she's not ready to talk yet and don't ask "is everything ok?", she will say "Yes". Address the subject "You know, I was thinking about last time and that didn't feel ok. I want to understand what happened". Talk about it. If she doesn't want to touch the subject, just give her time. See if it happens later on. I had that happen to me once when I was 18 and I felt the same way as you, but trust me, it's not your fault. Next time you're making out, and about to have sex, make her feel safe, ask her what makes her tick and allow her to guide you. Let her know that you'd never do anything to make her feel uncomfortable.

[QUOTE=dcalde78;49493305]seriously if you feel like you're going to bust too soon, just pause for a moment. kiss her, her boobs, whatever. just don't be thrusting yo. then once the "oh shit here it comes" feeling passes, carry on taking her to pound town[/QUOTE] 10 seconds of pause gives about a minute of go-time, so that's a great way to do it. [QUOTE=NixNax123;49493118]I'm afraid that I'm so good at foreplay that I might give someone unrealistic expectations when I actually have sex with them. Like, what if she's so turned on and horny and then I just ruin all of it by not being able to find where to go in? Or only lasting a few minutes? Help :([/QUOTE] About being too good at foreplay and then not doing well after-... That's less of a problem than being awful at foreplay AND awful when you get going. At least you did something right, then. That ain't ever a bad thing.

[QUOTE=dcalde78;49493285]on a different note, the girl I've been speaking to said to me that she's seeing someone. I've been chatting to her every day for a while now and I asked what she was up to (I was working a half day today when I was supposed to be off, was going to see if I could get some time to hang out), I can't remember exactly what she said (we speak on snapchat, I'm not sure why when I have her on facebook...) but she did say she was meeting with someone she was seeing. so that's a tad disappointing. anything can happen though. story of my life though. either the girl I'm interested in is taken, or I have no idea they like me until it's way too late (back in my first year of secondary school I liked a girl, I found out 5 years later she liked me too :v:)[/QUOTE] Shes probably using snapchat because the guy shes interested in might snoop through her phone at some point and she doesn't want evidence. And don't feel bad, at my first job I had an absolutely massive crush on a cashier, but had just no clue how to talk to her let alone ask her out. This was years ago and she shot me a message over facebook a month or so ago letting me know she was seriously interested but too shy to talk to me. At the same job, asked out a super quiet girl who I had been talking to for a bit and she got nervous and told me she was moving to another state in a week. She was still working in the same store a year later when I quit, and found out down the line she wanted to date me but was just too nervous.

[QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;49493358]Try talking to her about it later on. Don't push the subject if she's not ready to talk yet and don't ask "is everything ok?", she will say "Yes". Address the subject "You know, I was thinking about last time and that didn't feel ok. I want to understand what happened". Talk about it. If she doesn't want to touch the subject, just give her time. See if it happens later on.[/QUOTE] Nooooo... Don't force the subject. If she isn't ready to talk about it then don't make her discuss it.

[QUOTE=Cyke Lon bee;49493409]Shes probably using snapchat because the guy shes interested in might snoop through her phone at some point and she doesn't want evidence. And don't feel bad, at my first job I had an absolutely massive crush on a cashier, but had just no clue how to talk to her let alone ask her out. This was years ago and she shot me a message over facebook a month or so ago letting me know she was seriously interested but too shy to talk to me. At the same job, asked out a super quiet girl who I had been talking to for a bit and she got nervous and told me she was moving to another state in a week. She was still working in the same store a year later when I quit, and found out down the line she wanted to date me but was just too nervous.[/QUOTE] nah I doubt it's that, usually conversation stems from a snap and it just never moves from that to facebook or text. I'll just keep talking to her and see how things go. it might be a rebound thing since she's recently single, it might end up lasting, I don't know. if I get a shot, awesome. if not I'll have to suck it up and move on. I've gotten better at just taking the reins and going for it but at the same time I always just want to wait that little bit to see how things pan out, and then I end up doing nothing. I've tried it on with the same girl a couple of times (last time was November) and I've gotten nowhere there so I've realised there's no point in trying that again. working where I do now (car dealership/parts shop) I don't get to hold conversation with ladies (what few there are :v:) whereas working in the supermarket I used to, I could stand and chat to the girls I worked with (the girl I've been speaking to was one of them).

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49494034]Nooooo... Don't force the subject. If she isn't ready to talk about it then don't make her discuss it.[/QUOTE] Well, the thing is, after that she has been acting totally fine, like nothing is wrong. And she knew I felt distraught after I saw her lying there crying, so she has asked me a few time since then if I am okay. And to be honest, I am not. I don't know why I feel bad about this, because she has told me several times it is okay and it was just a mistake and it happened too early in our relationship. But I still feel like a bad person, because I keep thinking of exactly how it played out. When I recognized that I began to penetrate her, I did not immediately stop, but it felt good, so I continued until she actually told me to stop. But there was never any sort of consent given. She never said "hey I want to have sex today" or "hey, I feel like we are ready for this." It was just in the moment I felt like it would be okay, and I was wrong. And I think because of that I feel really guilty. Plus, given the fact that she cried randomly later that day, I don't know if she is just trying to comfort me by saying it is okay, or if she actually thinks that. But it seems like there is some sort of problem if what happened brought her to tears. I learned that her last boyfriend was very manipulative and lied to her a lot, and basically forced her to have sex with him early on in the relationship, and she cried at that point too. And that was the only other time she had sex, if you can still call it that. I guess it makes me feel bad too because I feel like I am as bad as that guy. It makes me feel even worse that we have only been dating for one month and this happened, because I think if that had not happened in that moment, and had happened a few months down the road, everything would be okay. But I am worried if we find ourselves in a situation like that again, we will be reminded of this time. And personally I keep thinking of the image of her lying there crying, and it makes me feel awful. I guess this is probably one of those things that will improve with time, but it definitely does not feel good in the moment. [editline]10th January 2016[/editline] and it's stupid too because she has told me it's okay and it still hasn't helped me not feel bad. I wish I could have just avoided this situation entirely.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49494034]Nooooo... Don't force the subject. If she isn't ready to talk about it then don't make her discuss it.[/QUOTE] I clearly said not to force it if she doesn't want to talk about it (later edited it though because I haven't noticed). However I don't think it should be such a bad idea for him to touch the subject just for the sake of testing the waters. If in fact she's not ready to talk about it, then drop it. Otherwise the discomfort will just linger in the air. I just think something must be done about it at least. I mean it sure isn't a comfortable topic for her, but I don't think it's not something you can just ignore and let go in a relationship if left unaddressed. What do you thing would be the best approach on this matter? [editline]10th January 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=guterfreund;49495171]Well, the thing is, after that she has been acting totally fine, like nothing is wrong. And she knew I felt distraught after I saw her lying there crying, so she has asked me a few time since then if I am okay. And to be honest, I am not. I don't know why I feel bad about this, because she has told me several times it is okay and it was just a mistake and it happened too early in our relationship. But I still feel like a bad person, because I keep thinking of exactly how it played out. When I recognized that I began to penetrate her, I did not immediately stop, but it felt good, so I continued until she actually told me to stop. But there was never any sort of consent given. She never said "hey I want to have sex today" or "hey, I feel like we are ready for this." It was just in the moment I felt like it would be okay, and I was wrong. And I think because of that I feel really guilty. Plus, given the fact that she cried randomly later that day, I don't know if she is just trying to comfort me by saying it is okay, or if she actually thinks that. But it seems like there is some sort of problem if what happened brought her to tears. I learned that her last boyfriend was very manipulative and lied to her a lot, and basically forced her to have sex with him early on in the relationship, and she cried at that point too. And that was the only other time she had sex, if you can still call it that. I guess it makes me feel bad too because I feel like I am as bad as that guy. It makes me feel even worse that we have only been dating for one month and this happened, because I think if that had not happened in that moment, and had happened a few months down the road, everything would be okay. But I am worried if we find ourselves in a situation like that again, we will be reminded of this time. And personally I keep thinking of the image of her lying there crying, and it makes me feel awful. I guess this is probably one of those things that will improve with time, but it definitely does not feel good in the moment. [editline]10th January 2016[/editline] and it's stupid too because she has told me it's okay and it still hasn't helped me not feel bad. I wish I could have just avoided this situation entirely.[/QUOTE] First of all, let me tell you something. Sex is sex. It occurs naturally and you don't need much ceremony to initiate the process. There is no need for a memo on the wall or an announcement - "We are going to have sex now, do you consent?". If you two were caught in the moment, started to get naked and it happened, I think all the events led you to believe it. Therefore it is not your fault that she reacted that way. I've been in the same situation with someone before and I know that you feel terrible. I know I did. And it was pretty much a similar episode. So what if you didn't stop right away, you were caught in the moment, you weren't expecting that to unfold, and I think that you've proven by now that it was never your intention to ignore her discomfort for your own pleasure. However you did stop and you did show her support and understanding afterwards. So you're doing good. She probably had a flashback of her previous relationship abuse. It is going to take some time for her to get used to sex as a pleasant and not traumatic experience. Also don't think that 1 month in a relationship is too soon to have sex. There is no "too soon to have sex", every relationship is different and each one evolves at it's own pace so there must be lots of couples out there having sex from day 1. Next time you're in an intimate situation, let her lead you instead. Give her control over the next steps during sex, ask her to guide you and all that and see how it goes.

[QUOTE=guterfreund;49495171]But there was never any sort of consent given. She never said "hey I want to have sex today" or "hey, I feel like we are ready for this." It was just in the moment I felt like it would be okay, and I was wrong. And I think because of that I feel really guilty.[/QUOTE] It was an honest mistake. She asked you to stop and you immediately stopped. You didn't do anything without her consent here. You haven't violated her or anything and nobody would consider what happened to be you forcing her to have sex with you. [QUOTE=guterfreund;49495171]But I am worried if we find ourselves in a situation like that again, we will be reminded of this time.[/QUOTE] If she's upset due to past trauma, then the opposite will happen. Over time she'll break the associations she's currently making between you and her past experiences. Right now, most of her understanding of sexual relationships is based on the abusive one she was in - over time she'll get used to you and your current relationship will help her redefine what a relationship means to her. [editline]9th January 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;49495379]What do you thing would be the best approach on this matter?[/QUOTE] I would assume that she'll discuss it with him when she's ready to verbalize her thoughts.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;49495569]It was an honest mistake. She asked you to stop and you immediately stopped. You didn't do anything without her consent here. You haven't violated her or anything and nobody would consider what happened to be you forcing her to have sex with you. If she's upset due to past trauma, then the opposite will happen. Over time she'll break the associations she's currently making between you and her past experiences. Right now, most of her understanding of sexual relationships is based on the abusive one she was in - over time she'll get used to you and your current relationship will help her redefine what a relationship means to her. [editline]9th January 2016[/editline] I would assume that she'll discuss it with him when she's ready to verbalize her thoughts.[/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Behemoth_PT;49495379]I clearly said not to force it if she doesn't want to talk about it (later edited it though because I haven't noticed). However I don't think it should be such a bad idea for him to touch the subject just for the sake of testing the waters. If in fact she's not ready to talk about it, then drop it. Otherwise the discomfort will just linger in the air. I just think something must be done about it at least. I mean it sure isn't a comfortable topic for her, but I don't think it's not something you can just ignore and let go in a relationship if left unaddressed. What do you thing would be the best approach on this matter? [editline]10th January 2016[/editline] First of all, let me tell you something. Sex is sex. It occurs naturally and you don't need much ceremony to initiate the process. There is no need for a memo on the wall or an announcement - "We are going to have sex now, do you consent?". If you two were caught in the moment, started to get naked and it happened, I think all the events led you to believe it. Therefore it is not your fault that she reacted that way. I've been in the same situation with someone before and I know that you feel terrible. I know I did. And it was pretty much a similar episode. So what if you didn't stop right away, you were caught in the moment, you weren't expecting that to unfold, and I think that you've proven by now that it was never your intention to ignore her discomfort for your own pleasure. However you did stop and you did show her support and understanding afterwards. So you're doing good. She probably had a flashback of her previous relationship abuse. It is going to take some time for her to get used to sex as a pleasant and not traumatic experience. Also don't think that 1 month in a relationship is too soon to have sex. There is no "too soon to have sex", every relationship is different and each one evolves at it's own pace so there must be lots of couples out there having sex from day 1. Next time you're in an intimate situation, let her lead you instead. Give her control over the next steps during sex, ask her to guide you and all that and see how it goes.[/QUOTE] Actually, afterwards, I told her that for a while - not forever, but for a while - I want her to initiate intimate things between us, and I told her it's because I feel nervous after what happened, because I feel like I pushed the limits of her boundaries. And she responded by saying that the point of a relationship is for both people to be involved, not just one. I told her okay, but that if it made her feel uncomfortable what happened, we should both slow down with the way our relationship is unfolding. I told her that, since what happened made her feel uncomfortable, maybe we should wait quite a while (months) before considering initiating sex itself, and that it would be best if she explicitly told me when she feels ready or in the mood. She agreed, and I think these were good ideas. But the thing is, I haven't even been able to get remotely turned on since this happened. I tried to masturbate and I couldn't. I am afraid that whenever we do initiate some sexual activity between us again (not sex itself, but anything), I won't be able to be turned on enough to do anything, and that worries me too. Though, again, probably time will fix that as well [editline]10th January 2016[/editline] I think part of my anxiousness stems from the fact that everyone I have had sex with before has been really excited, and suggested it themselves, and were really into it. And I basically followed their lead. There was no doubt in those situations, because they took the reins. And then the one time I tried to take the lead, and with someone I really care about, it backfired badly. It's hard to just forget that

That's definitely a difficult situation. There's no way to tell how her past trauma will affect your relationship with her long-term - she might feel more secure with you in a few months or she might not. Just keep in mind that it's not your responsibility to try to fix her problems. It's understandable that her reaction is causing a lot of anxiety for you, and chances are that anxiety will affect your enjoyment of sex with her in the future. It's possible that she'll eventually be more forthcoming with you about why she was upset by what happened, but right now it doesn't seem like she's ready to discuss it.

That is understandable. Hopefully time will heal most of these issues, and if not, I think I will be prepared to tackle them as they come. Being able to vent and discuss these things has helped me quite a bit though. Thank you guys for the help

[QUOTE=dcalde78;49494353]nah I doubt it's that, usually conversation stems from a snap and it just never moves from that to facebook or text. I'll just keep talking to her and see how things go. it might be a rebound thing since she's recently single, it might end up lasting, I don't know. if I get a shot, awesome. if not I'll have to suck it up and move on. I've gotten better at just taking the reins and going for it but at the same time I always just want to wait that little bit to see how things pan out, and then I end up doing nothing. I've tried it on with the same girl a couple of times (last time was November) and I've gotten nowhere there so I've realised there's no point in trying that again. working where I do now (car dealership/parts shop) I don't get to hold conversation with ladies (what few there are :v:) whereas working in the supermarket I used to, I could stand and chat to the girls I worked with (the girl I've been speaking to was one of them).[/QUOTE] I actually have the same issue now. I worked at walmart for a few years and had no problem making friends and meeting girls. I worked there in Florida and got fed up with my life and said "fuck it" and moved to North Dakota for my new job. My new job is basically a route job, so my office is a truck, so I have a lot of problem meeting people and making friends, let alone lady-friends. Theres a couple qt3.14's on my route, but to me it feels unprofessional to ask out someone thats your customer. I wouldn't say no if they asked me out, but I tend to be unsociable unless I have to be so I tend to come off as an asshole. [editline]10th January 2016[/editline] Also doesn't help that people tend to chastise me and berate me for moving up here from so far away. Some people are borderline xenophobic towards me once they here my southern drawl, I pretty much have to actively hide from people where I'm from so they don't instantly judge me.

I'm the guy with the crazy ass girlfriend who ranted about me on Facebook a week ago. She just broke up with me after I told her I felt suffocated by her clinginess and that I started doubting whether I loved her. I don't know whether I really did, or whether I'm even capable of love. I feel sad, but I feel relieved at the same time. I hope she finds someone who can satisfy her better than I ever could. This was my first real relationship though, and it lasted almost a month, and I learned so much about myself during that month. I learned that I can get a relationship if I wanted one, and I also learned that I don't need a relationship to be happy. For the first time in a long time, I'm happy with myself.

[QUOTE=elevate;49497163]I'm the guy with the crazy ass girlfriend who ranted about me on Facebook a week ago. She just broke up with me after I told her I felt suffocated by her clinginess and that I started doubting whether I loved her. I don't know whether I really did, or whether I'm even capable of love. I feel sad, but I feel relieved at the same time. I hope she finds someone who can satisfy her better than I ever could. This was my first real relationship though, and it lasted almost a month, and I learned so much about myself during that month. I learned that I can get a relationship if I wanted one, and I also learned that I don't need a relationship to be happy. For the first time in a long time, I'm happy with myself.[/QUOTE] If after just a few weeks she was the one complaining about everything you did then she's the one with a problem. If she has really nothing good to say about you, don't waste your time proving her otherwise. Conserve your dignity and get out of there. Don't settle for anyone who doesn't adore you. And if you're in a relationship and you're constantly making a worthless effort for some respect from your SO it means you're in a toxic relationship. And it will drain your energy. Also bitching about you on facebook is pretty much your ticket out of that crazy relationship.

whelp, girl I like said she's been looking at flats with guy she's seeing. time to suck it up and keep looking I guess v:v:v

I had a dream that I proposed to my girlfriend of 2.7 years, it was wonderful. I think Im just about ready to pop the question IRL.

Man, I can't see myself asking that question to my girlfriend. Not that I don't like her enough for it, but I'd just hate to no longer be boyfriend-and-girlfriend with her. Marriage just doesn't really run in my family :v:

I fully intend to propose to my girlfriend once we get our own place. We did live together at Uni but it was at my place and I was too busy being a little bitch and trying to buddy up with someone I thought was a friend and I neglected her. Moving into a place together will be a test to see if I really have grown up or if I'm still the lazy slob I was at Uni.