Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50608195]You have (empty) balls of steel[/QUOTE] I know my fellas swim due to previous experience, but it took her two months of convincing for me to feel okay with cumming inside. Never once has she gotten pregnant and she really is meticulous about the pill, she's one of the few women I've met who doesn't have negative side effects. According to most sources it's 99.9% effective when taken correctly, so I'll roll those dice.

Sitting on the sofa next to me disinterestedly watching Friends, my girlfriend suddenly turns to me and tells me that she thinks I should see a mental health professional. I ignore her, because I'm focusing on Jennifer Aniston's nipples and wondering how it all went so right. She tells me that she's noticed a pattern in my behavior where I appear cold and unsympathetic when she is down and needs comforting. What material are Jennifer Aniston's shirts made of? I briefly fantasize about being one of her shirts. My girlfriend goes on and lists things I've lied or been deceitful about last week; I mentally prepare for a sharp rebuttal. Interrupting her description of how I lied about aliens eating all the mint chocolate chip ice cream, I slide off the sofa and onto my knees. She knows what this means and I can see the fear in her eyes. I keep my arms pinned to my sides and start thrashing my torso around, slamming her back onto the couch. She starts to plead with me, saying we can talk about it another time. I lean over her and trumpet victoriously into her face. I knee-walk back to my part of the couch and roll onto it. Then I rewind the episode back to the time before she started talking. How do y'all talk about things within your relationship?

Small update on my situation; we broke up. Trying to remain good friends but things are pretty awkward right now. Just wanted to let it off my chest

[QUOTE=Squidman;50611095]Sitting on the sofa next to me disinterestedly watching Friends, my girlfriend suddenly turns to me and tells me that she thinks I should see a mental health professional. I ignore her, because I'm focusing on Jennifer Aniston's nipples and wondering how it all went so right. She tells me that she's noticed a pattern in my behavior where I appear cold and unsympathetic when she is down and needs comforting. What material are Jennifer Aniston's shirts made of? I briefly fantasize about being one of her shirts. My girlfriend goes on and lists things I've lied or been deceitful about last week; I mentally prepare for a sharp rebuttal. Interrupting her description of how I lied about aliens eating all the mint chocolate chip ice cream, I slide off the sofa and onto my knees. She knows what this means and I can see the fear in her eyes. I keep my arms pinned to my sides and start thrashing my torso around, slamming her back onto the couch. She starts to plead with me, saying we can talk about it another time. I lean over her and trumpet victoriously into her face. I knee-walk back to my part of the couch and roll onto it. Then I rewind the episode back to the time before she started talking. How do y'all talk about things within your relationship?[/QUOTE] :what: [editline]28th June 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=ZpankR;50611106]Small update on my situation; we broke up. Trying to remain good friends but things are pretty awkward right now. Just wanted to let it off my chest[/QUOTE] Zero contact for a while man. Go your seperate ways for a few weeks, maybe a couple of months and then see how you feel. You might realise that you can't be friends with her.

Man there's this girl I've been continuously sort of Facebook stalking because I used to work with her and she's really cool and her Facebook is always full of cool events that she's going to or has been to. But it took me some time sort of just absent-mindedly looking through Facebook to realize that she's not even 21 yet. Not that I'm much older, but it was a little jarring when I thought she was older lol. She's cute as hell though and likes going to the art museum a lot which I go to fairly regularly whenever there's a new exhibit. I might go to an event there at some point this summer and see if I run into her.

Art museum? Marry her

Listen... She cute but I don't know too much about her except what we talked about when we worked together.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50611300]Isnt it odd to go to an event just to hopefully run into someone?[/QUOTE] I always intentionally run into people. The pay's real good

Just quickly Google what's in the museum and become interested :smile:

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50611300]Isnt it odd to go to an event just to hopefully run into someone?[/QUOTE] I wouldn't go just for her, nah. Like I said, I usually go to the art museum regularly anyway. Would just be a little plus. She'd likely be with someone anyway. Most people don't go all the way downtown alone. Except me, I guess, as long as it's early in the day.

So, right, I've known this girl for like 2 years and she was in my guild. We talked a lot when the guild was still going and used to play a lot with other friends. Fast forward to now and I'm gonna be with her for 3 days with another guildie of ours. Now, would you think this girl could be lying about liking the other dude? Hear me out. She has definitely said "I like this guy" outright to me, so obviously she does but she said stuff to me like "I want to spend time alone without everyone else" (I imagine other people are gonna be there). So I took a few days off of work. She's also acting really flirty and maybe that's just being flirty and it's harmless but I dunno What do you guys think? am I overthinking this? I probably am.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50612622]I'm not sure "I like this guy that isn't you" translates to "I like you"[/QUOTE] Yes I know, but it's more complicated than that. I didn't really explain it very well.

[QUOTE=josm;50612570]So, right, I've known this girl for like 2 years and she was in my guild. We talked a lot when the guild was still going and used to play a lot with other friends. Fast forward to now and I'm gonna be with her for 3 days with another guildie of ours. Now, would you think this girl could be lying about liking the other dude? Hear me out. She has definitely said "I like this guy" outright to me, so obviously she does but she said stuff to me like "I want to spend time alone without everyone else" (I imagine other people are gonna be there). So I took a few days off of work. She's also acting really flirty and maybe that's just being flirty and it's harmless but I dunno What do you guys think? am I overthinking this? I probably am.[/QUOTE] Sounds like you really like her and are insanely desperate for her to reciprocate that to the point where you're misconstruing her words into meaning literally the exact opposite of what they mean. [editline]28th June 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=josm;50612816]Yes I know, but it's more complicated than that. I didn't really explain it very well.[/QUOTE] "I like person that isn't you" is actually really concise, clear, and blunt. Doesn't sound at all complicated.

[QUOTE=Cyke Lon bee;50612859]Sounds like you really like her and are insanely desperate for her to reciprocate that to the point where you're misconstruing her words into meaning literally the exact opposite of what they mean. [editline]28th June 2016[/editline] "I like person that isn't you" is actually really concise, clear, and blunt. Doesn't sound at all complicated.[/QUOTE] Yup, fair enough. I need to take a step back I think.

[QUOTE=josm;50612869]Yup, fair enough. I need to take a step back I think.[/QUOTE] Yea you honestly do. She's made a conscious decision to act on her feelings with this other guy, and you not giving her the alone time she asked for, just because you have feeling she won't reciprocate, would be insanely selfish of you.

Hi. I need some advice, so I will be glad if I get some but it is okay if nobody bothers. It felt good writing this, blowing off some steam. Sorry for cluttering your otherwise very good thread. I am not a regular in this thread but I have been poking around here from time to time and I always find very sound advice. Kind of a long story, not by any means the whole thing. There have been many more ups and downs in this, but none really relevant to this incident. There have been some close calls where we thought that we had to end it but managed to solve it. I will be referring to myself as E and my GF as R. I have been together with my girlfriend for almost four years now and known her for about eight years. We have had some minor rough patches as I am sure many couples have had, and we have had some major rough patches. We got together almost four years ago, and were together without any major fights up until she went on a graduation trip to Turkey with three of her friends. It is somewhat common in Sweden for people who graduate high school to go abroad, basically a week of partying. We were 18 at the time. I was a little bummed out that she went, but mostly because I would not see her in a week until she got back. We texted a little bit while she was abroad and everything seemed just fine. When she came back she was acting a little strange, disconnected sort of. I asked her about it and she brushed it off with "it was just such a great time, I am already missing it" the usual feelings one might have when arriving home from a nice place. However, she had found a couple of new friends. Some of the hotel staff, mainly the younger entertainment crew who were responsible for the guests having a good time, had befriended her friends and her. The instant she got back to Sweden one of the three friends and R started working to save up money to go back. R and a guy I will refer to as Ri were actively chatting with each other. She was kinda down and still disconnected with life back in Sweden, and the only thing she talked about was how great Turkey had been and the lovely friends she had made. She spent most of her time on Messenger, but lit up from her sulkyness the instant Ri wrote her. This did not go unnoticed by me, so I explained what I was seeing and my feelings of being left out and shoved aside and pressed her to be honest. She said that they were only friends. And so the day came when she had enough money to go back which was like three months later after working all summer. This time I was really not fond of she going back there, but what could I do other than ask her to stay. I trusted her and she said I could trust her. This time we did not talk as much when she was there. I called her once in the middle of the day, she was stinking drunk when she answered and just sounded rahter bored over the phone, eager to get back to whatever it was they were doing. I admit I am not a perfect guy, I became kinda stalky. I knew the name of the hotel, and one night I wrote her on Messenger and she instantly said she was going to go to bed. However, the "sent from" geo-tag revealed that she was not in her hotel at all, but a block or so away. I knew that the hotel staff lived close to the hotel, roughly a block away (because she would not talk about anything else while in Sweden I knew these things). My heart skipped a beat but I think I managed to convince myself that the tag thing was not super accurate. She came home, I went over to her place and sat down with her in the couch. She was just staring. I do not remember this part exactly because I have more or less suppressed it, but it went something along the lines of "I don't know if I love you anymore", but she insisted she had not done anything with Ri. She just "couldn't choose between you two". I went home and cried for hours. I had seen this coming from miles ahead, it was just so difficult to believe. Skip two or three months ahead, this part is kinda difficult to explain I think so bear with me. I had more or less gotten over this whole ordeal and promised myself to not be played like a fool again. I had just started seeing this other girl and we went to a big halloween party together. We had a good time and even made out. My then ex went to this party too, accompanied by some dude. She saw us making out and got some sort of epiphany, like "I don't want anybody else than E, I'm sure of it". Anyway, my date and I went with a couple of friends to an after party. One of R's closest friends who is also a good friend of mine was there. She was very drunk and at some point during the evening we were outside talking when she let it slip that R had had sex with Ri whilst in Turkey that second time. R had been unfaithful to me and then lied to me about it. This time I was not really sad, just furious out of my mind. I guess I was not really surprised either. R wrote to me two or three days later, wanting to talk. I reluctantly agreed, and went to see her. Only now she told me the truth, that she had slept with Ri. I did not tell her, and still have not told her to this day, that her friend had already spilled the beans. I played it cool, saying that it is good that she is being honest, even if it was late. We agreed to not be enemies at least, and left it at that. Over the weeks that followed we started writing more and more, and her regret was becoming apparent. She was asking me stuff like if there was ever a day where I could picture us being together again. I tried to wriggle out of those questions because I honestly I was not sure myself. There was definitely something between us, and had always been for as long as we have known each other. I just was not sure what to do. On the one had I had promised myself to never be trampled on again, and on the other hand there was this undeniable connection. Fuck. I told the new girl, my date on halloween whom I had been going on dates with for a while that I kinda fancied R again. Of course, she did not know about this whole Turkey situation. She was very sweet and gracious about it, saying that "if it's right it's right, who am I to meddle with it". I got back together with R after some more weeks of just talking and maybe meeting for a coffee. This time, she was a lot more fond of me. It was clear that she truly regretted her trips to Turkey. She still does, no question about it. Everything was great for a couple of months until I started doubting my decision, developing a very mild depression. I was angry with myself that I had fallen back to her so easily, R had broken an unwritten but very important rule in a relationship, unless otherwise agreed upon. To be faithful to your partner. The select people R told about her cheating on me seemed amazed that I had taken her back. R even said herself that had it been me who had been unfaithful she would not have taken me back. This was a rough patch but it eventually blew over and I came to the conclusion that fuck what other people think, what matters is what I feel. An unfortunate side-effect of my modest depressed phase was her developing a full scaled depression, which still lasts to this day. This depression is very much what I feel the beginning of the countless series of fights over virtually nothing we have had, not saying I do not have any part in it. I am probably a lot to blame for the depression and arguments we have had. If there is one thing that is positive about the depression it is that we always feel stronger and closer after we have resolved a fight. She really claims that "I am her one" and all that jazz, and we were thinking about moving in together this autumn. She is very eager, this is what she genuinely wants. Skip like, one and a half years. Until this morning. This requires some explaining. During the summers I stay at my parents home because I have a summer job in this town. It requires me to work weird hours and so I cannot always participate in things with friends or with R. This town throws a festival each year and brings like a small carnival to the town. The same carnival each year, same rides and attractions. R loves to ride these horrible contraptions but I really cannot stand these sadistic vomit comets. So, every year R goes into town to ride. The carnival workers are some real slimy people who prowls on girls, offering free rides in exchange for, flirting or something? Probably more intimate things as well. I know that they flirt with R, and that R plays along, letting them draw hearts on her arm and stuff like that in exchange for free rides. This morning I had to get up early for work, so I went to bed early, R came home some time later. When I woke up I did my usual morning routine, and as always I was going to tell R that I was leaving for work. I hastily clicked the home button on her phone to check the time when I saw some Messenger message from some guy I will refer to as C. I do not even remember what it said, but it stopped me in my track. All those Turkey uncertainties came back in an instant. Am I really going to be that guy who looks through my girlfriends phone? We never had a "strict phone privacy" policy, more like the opposite. I unlocked the phone and started reading these messages. Turns out, R has been very vocal with this C guy. Things like "I can't wait to see you again heartheartheart" and when asked if she would like to copulate she replied with a very flirtatious, but clear "Yes". Now, I know that she does this for the free rides, kinda. But I cannot help feeling betrayed. I wake her up and say "What is this shit? This is unbelievable. I think I might want to break up. What ever, I have to get to work". In hindsight, this was probably very dramatic and an over reaction. But still, there is this gnawing feeling. I still feel betrayed even if I have cooled off by now. We texted some after this and she claims that she really only did it for the rides and that she is sorry and that it was dumb. But then again, I promised myself that I would never feel this way before. This whole writing with someone behind my back, being a different person with someone else behind my back does REALLY not play well with me since Turkey. I am disappointed at myself for "being that guy" who looks through her phone, but at the same time I am glad because that sort of thing is not acceptable in my book, even if she claims that it was only to get free rides. It was just too much. I feel like my trust has been sacrificed for some free rides on a dumb carousel. I am hopelessly lost, I do not know what to do. Do I forgive her? If I do, I will most likely hate myself yet again for letting her off the hook. If I do not forgive her and we break up, well shit what am I supposed to do with my life? Who am I? What? So tell me your opinions on this, am I over reacting, all things considered? Am I dumb and gullible or am I a decent person for forgiving? P.S. I realise that the structure is super messy and I apologise for that. TL;DR, but I am afraid that most of the context is in the long post. My GF cheated on me in the past but I forgave her and now she is writing lovey-dovey stuff to a carnival dude and claims that she is doing it for free carousel rides (and is most likely telling the truth) but I cannot bring myself to trust her because of reasons. I feel betrayed by this, even if it supposedly is purely a trick to get free stuff. Am I crazy? Am I over reacting? [editline]1st July 2016[/editline] Fuck forgot to add, as of now we are on one of these 'pause' things while I work this out.

Going through her phone is definitely not a good thing to do, but in your situation you had reason to suspect stuff so I understand that. You're not crazy, you're not overreacting. If R was being all secret about talking to this guy, then that's definitely a red flag and it probably isn't as innocent and she's letting on. Bear in mind that I'm only working with the context you gave, but I honestly believe you should cut her off. Coming out of a break up fucking sucks, but I assure you it'll do you much better than going into "breaks" and trying to work with someone who doesn't respect your relationship as much as you do.

[QUOTE=Chili Banan;50628188] So tell me your opinions on this, am I over reacting, all things considered? Am I dumb and gullible or am I a decent person for forgiving? P.S. I realise that the structure is super messy and I apologise for that. TL;DR, but I am afraid that most of the context is in the long post. My GF cheated on me in the past but I forgave her and now she is writing lovey-dovey stuff to a carnival dude and claims that she is doing it for free carousel rides (and is most likely telling the truth) but I cannot bring myself to trust her because of reasons. I feel betrayed by this, even if it supposedly is purely a trick to get free stuff. Am I crazy? Am I over reacting? [editline]1st July 2016[/editline] Fuck forgot to add, as of now we are on one of these 'pause' things while I work this out.[/QUOTE] To be honest; if she can feel normal at all sending those kind of messages to that guy AFTER already cheating on you for real one time. It's something I'd call a massive red flag for her to even have the ability to do that after cheating on you before. I personally don't think she deserves you after everything you said. Like psychojake said, you seem to respect the relationship much more than she does in actuality.

Gotta say, that was a really well written story. I completely understand you. Going through someones phone is not a thing you should generally do but you have all the rights to do it because she already proved that you can't thrust her 100%. Thrusting your partner completely is one of the most fundamental pillars of a relationship. You can't build a lasting one if it is damaged. Like kiteshugo said, cheating is a massive red flag. It's good that she regrets it, but it will never be the same. This is kinda why I personally don't tolerate cheating, I just don't wanna walk around with any doubt of a girls loyalty. But before I start giving my personal opinion, I also wanna point out what kind of view she might have. As with every problem, you have to look at it from different sides before you can really judge. Your girlfriends' depression might have an important role in this problem. If someone cheats, there is more going on than just irresistible lust. In my experience, there is always another reason. A person who has a healthy mindset and a healthy relationship will never cheat. Why would he/she? Said person doesn't need to because he/she is perfectly happy the way things are right now. But apparently, your girlfriend felt otherwise when she was in turkey. And about the texting, I can't imagine that someone flirts just for free rides. That's actually a terrible excuse. It kinda seems like she is desperate for attention because of her personal issues. So, with that said you have a couple of options. I personally don't see you break up easily because you really seem to love her and care about her. On the other hand, you don't wanna get confronted with this kind of bullshit and worries. Breaking up is hard but it might actually be for the better. It's a tough choice, but if I were in your shoes I would've known my decision. Look, she might tell you that she things you're the one and you might feel the same, but every relationship which lasts for more than a couple of years will seem that way. You still have a long life in front of you, do you really want to share that with her? This might sound really hard for some of you guys since this is a sensitive subject, but do you really want a girlfriend who is depressed and mentally unstable? Do you think she is worth all the troubles? If you are unsure, then the answer is probably no. And I personally think it should be a no. I can keep talking about this and if you need someone to talk to you can always send me a pm, but my final advice is: choose what makes you happy, not her.

I know it may seem like a tough desicion due to your feelings for her, but to me, the answer seeems pretty obvious. She cheated on you for free carnival rides. I cant see her ever really being in a long term monogamous relationship if she doesnt value your trust enough to not jump into bed with a carni for a free ride on the tilt-a-whirl. Fool you once, shame on her. Fool you twice, shame on you.

[QUOTE=Birdman101;50629097] She cheated on you for free carnival rides. I cant see her ever really being in a long term monogamous relationship if she doesnt value your trust enough to not jump into bed with a carni for a free ride on the tilt-a-whirl.[/QUOTE] To clarify, she cheated while in Turkey a couple of years back, not with the carni dude. That was only messages over Messenger. Though I can see how it can be counted as cheating with the messages. Thank you all for the advice, sincerely. We have spoken a bit and decided to let a few days pass to see how we feel. I can't help but feel this is all my fault though, so I feel terrible. I guess I'll update as things go along, all I can say for now is that I feel super strange. Nauseous, afraid, and lonely.

From what you've posted I would say it's definitely not your fault man. If she was just flirting with this carnie guy for free rides she could have at least told you that was the case, instead of never bringing it up leaving you to find out this way.

When you said it's kind of typical for girls to flirt with carnies for free rides, I assumed you meant like, when they're standing in line. Not that they add each other on social media, talk to each other from home, and talk about setting shit up at a future date. That strikes me as more suspicious. Frankly I don't think it was a great idea to get back together with her in the first place. You shouldn't be in a relationship with somebody where you constantly wonder if you're right, or where you have ANY cause to think she's unfaithful. And in this case, you have one huge reason. You can definitely find someone who doesn't fill you with all these doubts.

[QUOTE=Chili Banan;50629274]To clarify, she cheated while in Turkey a couple of years back, not with the carni dude. That was only messages over Messenger. Though I can see how it can be counted as cheating with the messages. Thank you all for the advice, sincerely. We have spoken a bit and decided to let a few days pass to see how we feel. I can't help but feel this is all my fault though, so I feel terrible. I guess I'll update as things go along, all I can say for now is that I feel super strange. Nauseous, afraid, and lonely.[/QUOTE] Feeling that this is your fault is a common response in a person with very little confidence in themselves. This is not your fault. If she was unhappy, or felt neglected, she should have communicated this instead of flirting with other guys for free carnival rides. just to reiterate, its not at all your fault. Leave her man. You can do better. Think about what you want here - are you comfortable in a relationship where your partner openly considers the options of other people while being with you? Even more than that, do you want to spend your life with someone who has taken those options in the past and not cared enough about you to control themselves? To me all this says is that you are dating a person who doesnt care enough about you to forgo flirting with other men. As for your special connection, you will find a better one with someone else. Give yourself a chance.

[QUOTE=Chili Banan;50629274]To clarify, she cheated while in Turkey a couple of years back, not with the carni dude. That was only messages over Messenger. Though I can see how it can be counted as cheating with the messages. Thank you all for the advice, sincerely. We have spoken a bit and decided to let a few days pass to see how we feel. I can't help but feel this is all my fault though, so I feel terrible. I guess I'll update as things go along, all I can say for now is that I feel super strange. Nauseous, afraid, and lonely.[/QUOTE] Mate, this kind of person isn't trustworthy and you already know that. There cannot be a relationship without trust and you already do not trust her because she has broken your trust several times. She's not taking the relationship seriously, which you are. The longer you stay in this kind of relationship, the more it will hurt. Yes, it will definitely hurt a lot at first to leave this relationship if you leave soon, but I promise you it's going to be much better than what kind of relationship this will lead to. You're even beginning to see her behaviour as something normal which means she has already hurt you to the point where you've normalized it & it will impact further relationships. I understand how you could forgive her for what she did, I've reacted the same way as you. I also know the consequences and paranoia this kind of relationship leads to. Please man, don't stay with her.

Is it normal for a girl on the pill to skip her period/have it happen late? Apparently this week was supposed to be her "off the pill" week but nothing happened. The thing is, we never had proper intercourse, any attempt (always with a condom) failed because it hurt her before any actual penetration took place. The only penetration we ever had was earlier this week, managed to put a finger in all the way, which was a big milestone, but no semen or anything so that doesn't sound plausible. The closest we could have got to an accident was when I accidentally unloaded on her face during a handjob, and she went to the shower right after that. Given that she never put a finger in herself I don't think this could have caused it, could it?

so there's this girl I went on about 2 dates with and I don't really like her based on our times together (she smokes a LOT, not really that attractive to me, very hypercritical, just not my type) I don't have any experience ending this sort of thing (as some of you probably know) but I want to do it ASAP. any advice on how to do it? would a simple "hey. I think we should just be friends." over text work in this context, since thid thing is pretty new?

[QUOTE=NixNax123;50633639]so there's this girl I went on about 2 dates with and I don't really like her based on our times together (she smokes a LOT, not really that attractive to me, very hypercritical, just not my type) I don't have any experience ending this sort of thing (as some of you probably know) but I want to do it ASAP. any advice on how to do it?[/QUOTE] Just be honest and tell her you're not interested. Trying to give her signals or something hoping she get the hint will just require more effort on your part for no reason. I mean, the whole point of dating is to know whether you feel like having a relationship with a person or not, it's normal to back out of it, you won't cause emotional distress like you would ending a two years long relationship, unless she's very clingy in which case you'll dodge a bullet.

[QUOTE=_Axel;50633475]Is it normal for a girl on the pill to skip her period/have it happen late? Apparently this week was supposed to be her "off the pill" week but nothing happened. The thing is, we never had proper intercourse, any attempt (always with a condom) failed because it hurt her before any actual penetration took place. The only penetration we ever had was earlier this week, managed to put a finger in all the way, which was a big milestone, but no semen or anything so that doesn't sound plausible. The closest we could have got to an accident was when I accidentally unloaded on her face during a handjob, and she went to the shower right after that. Given that she never put a finger in herself I don't think this could have caused it, could it?[/QUOTE] yeah it's normal, same thing happened to a girl I was with before. don't sweat it

On vacation back in the same town, same condo I went to with my ex last year. It feels super weird since that was one of the last super happy memories I had with her before things fell apart. Sleeping in the same bed we shared so long ago feels so strange. Dunno how to handle these feelings, since I still think about her pretty often still. We broke up 9 months ago and haven't talked since November. Mostly just a vent post, but any advice would be great. Should I reach out and talk to her as a friend or is this just nostalgia talking?