Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

[QUOTE=_Axel;50849684]So since the beginning of my current relationship I've been introduced to the world of chick flicks. It's been a mixed bag for me, haven't seen one I considered really good so far. I don't know if I've just seen average stuff, is there genuinely great stuff out there?[/QUOTE] It's all subjective man.

Depends on what you're watching, really. Do you have any examples? They're a lot easier to enjoy when they're also comedies, in my experience

[QUOTE=_Axel;50849684]So since the beginning of my current relationship I've been introduced to the world of chick flicks. It's been a mixed bag for me, haven't seen one I considered really good so far. I don't know if I've just seen average stuff, is there genuinely great stuff out there?[/QUOTE] Does White Chicks count as a girl flick? Because fuck i love that movie

Chick flick comedies are pretty good. But romantic chick flicks are usually very boring Nicholas Sparks level garbage lol.

[QUOTE=gooldude;50838290]Damn this is the same exact way I felt when I broke up with my ex months ago. When i said the words "I love you" I never knew if I actually meant it. To this day I'm still unsure whether I made the right choice.[/QUOTE] dang, that's EXACTLY how I feel [editline]9th August 2016[/editline] On the plus side, a qt from arkansas is coming to visit so that's gonna be fun

Girlfriend doesn't want to go down on me, says she's experienced something bad in the past. Doesn't sound like a wild problem but it's something we bump into a lot. Kinda worried about her self-esteem in general, she doesn't really priorities herself more than others. Help?

[QUOTE=Tools;50853199]Girlfriend doesn't want to go down on me, says she's experienced something bad in the past. Doesn't sound like a wild problem but it's something we bump into a lot. Kinda worried about her self-esteem in general, she doesn't really priorities herself more than others. Help?[/QUOTE] Loving someone with damaged self image/self esteem issues is really tricky. I find sometimes when they really need a pick me up is writing a really long heartfelt message that explains how beautiful they are as an individual, mentioning little details on their face and how much you adore them and so on, really dig into the details about what makes them who they are. Depending on the person but the person I speak to really gets a great little buzz out of it, but it always depends on when the moment is right. Sometimes if they're really not happy with how they look on a particular day, a huge compliment will be brushed aside simply cos they will think you're talking shit. It's difficult but worth it to see them cry tears of joy/smile and be grateful. As for the blowjo thing, she might just not dig it, bro. The amount of times I've said "Oh i had a bad experience" to get out of doing something I don't like is probably too much. As for the prioritising others infront of herself thing; I kinda do that in order to give myself a sense of purpose, a lot of the time I feel pretty worthless and only feel a bit of self gratification when I'm helping someone else out. Just realised this post was not so effective at giving you advice and turned out to be more of a "listen to the shit I go through" kind of post, sorry :v:

i just can't handle the low self esteem thing personally, it's like 90% of the time you have to make them feel good about themselves and it just gets exhausting

It really is exhausting. But it really depends on how you feel about them most of all, some are willing to bend over backwards to try and alleviate it. But it does come with a price you're damn right on that

It's not really worth it imo. Solving self esteem issues is something they need to do on their own. Doesn't matter how many love letters or dozens of roses you get for that person, they still have to solve it on their own. It's super fucking tedious to deal with.

There's a difference between someone feeling insecure about your relationship and them feeling insecure in general. Affirmation is still important in relationships - sometimes people need to be reminded you love them, even if you think they know already. If someone has general insecurity issues with everyone, it's more likely to be an internal thing and not something that positive affirmation is going to help. In general, focus on what you have control over - you have control over your own ability to be affectionate with your partner, but you do not have control over how your partner reacts to that.

Is it close minded to think you can only ever date someone once (not literally 1 time, but as in attempt a relationship) with no exceptions? Or can rekindling be fairly successful given better circumstances. Can there be exceptions, and have any of you experienced that?

People don't always break up because of tensions. Sometimes life just takes you in different directions. In which case, a lot of people can definitely rekindle something they once had. It's all dependent on the circumstance.

In general, "rekindling" is only worth it if the original problem is resolved. If the things that led to your breakup have not changed, it will continue to be a huge issue.

Has anyone in here ever been with, er, multiple partners simultaneously? I wanted to hear some other's thoughts or experiences before I shared mine.

[QUOTE=Hunterdnrc;50859282]Has anyone in here ever been with, er, multiple partners simultaneously? I wanted to hear some other's thoughts or experiences before I shared mine.[/QUOTE] Talkin about fucking 2 women at the same time or dating 2 girls at once? I've done the latter and wouldn't do it again.

Turned out my girl had been through some tough shit just before I got with her, so even asking in to it almost broke her. Gonna run it through my brother in law, as I'm not fully confident in aiding a victim of sexual assault :/ Thanks for the other tips tho', will keep in mind to help her recover.

[QUOTE=Tools;50863319]Turned out my girl had been through some tough shit just before I got with her, so even asking in to it almost broke her. Gonna run it through my brother in law, as I'm not fully confident in aiding a victim of sexual assault :/ Thanks for the other tips tho', will keep in mind to help her recover.[/QUOTE] You're not her aid or her counselor though, you're her boyfriend. Speaking as another survivor, the last thing I wanted while dealing with PTSD was to be defined by it. She's still the same person you've probably shared plenty of happy moments with. She still has a sense of humor. Be there for her if she needs you, but don't treat her differently for it.

As some may have read in other threads last weekend was... eventfull. My friends are coming over again next weekend (20th, birthday ya see), but SHE asked last night if she could come down one day before. I'm kinda liking where that's going.

Man REALLY regretting breaking up with the gf now I feel almost like I might fear commitment, and that I was making up problems... but I also fear that if I successfully try to get her back, I might end up feeling the same way which would destroy her AGAIN. The issue is that she got so emotionally attached so fast that I'm afraid of hurting her. This fucking sucks.

[QUOTE=phygon;50869027]Man REALLY regretting breaking up with the gf now I feel almost like I might fear commitment, and that I was making up problems... but I also fear that if I successfully try to get her back, I might end up feeling the same way which would destroy her AGAIN. The issue is that she got so emotionally attached so fast that I'm afraid of hurting her. This fucking sucks.[/QUOTE] Do you regret breaking up with her because you love her or because you don't have any other friends and are lonely now? If it's the latter just go out and make some friends. Find a YMCA and go early morning to play basketball with other guys or something.

[QUOTE=darksoul69;50869187]Do you regret breaking up with her because you love her or because you don't have any other friends and are lonely now? If it's the latter just go out and make some friends. Find a YMCA and go early morning to play basketball with other guys or something.[/QUOTE] I regret breaking up with her because I miss her and she accepted me for who I was- and I liked who she was. The thing is, she was so fucking down all the time and I couldn't do anything to help with some of her issues so that made me sad myself. I just felt so useless when she would be massively depressed and I couldn't do anything to fix it. It wasn't a 24/7 issue but it was enough for me to want to break it off.... if only she were able to manage her depression a bit better without leaning on me for it, I'd be so happy to have her back in my life. I just don't know, man. I just don't know. Lord knows if she'd even take me back

Trying to get over this asian slut demon who despite being a slut demon I fell for like a dumbass. I should just fuck dudes and make things simple. Flirting with some country girl though, Irish country accents are some new level of interesting I tell you what.

[QUOTE=phygon;50869724]I regret breaking up with her because I miss her and she accepted me for who I was- and I liked who she was. The thing is, she was so fucking down all the time and I couldn't do anything to help with some of her issues so that made me sad myself. I just felt so useless when she would be massively depressed and I couldn't do anything to fix it. It wasn't a 24/7 issue but it was enough for me to want to break it off.... if only she were able to manage her depression a bit better without leaning on me for it, I'd be so happy to have her back in my life. I just don't know, man. I just don't know. Lord knows if she'd even take me back[/QUOTE] It sounds like she needs professional help. If you really want to be back with this girl make that a condition for getting back together (if she accepts).

Really shouldn't have invited this girl over for this long Why does literally every girl I attract have secret horrible awful life-ending baggage And her behavioral quirks are really pissing me off too (complains about being hungry, too introverted to come out and see what we have, and is a picky eater so if I bring something back she politely declines it). Like it's nothing ~absolutely horrible~ but NONE of this shit was apparent in the entire month that we were skyping I finally broke out of my shell and started dating and I feel like my quality of life would honestly improve if I just went "fuck it" and stopped trying entirely The weirdest thing about all this is that I'm an excellent judge of character, all my friends are fucking great, but anyone who I date/try to date has like horrible traumatic baggage that really fucks them up why [editline]12th August 2016[/editline] I don't want a perfect girl, I just want one who's problems are "I need to study really hard or I'm not going to pass the calculus final" and not "my brother raped me after my abusive ex threw me down a flight of stairs"

Sounds like you need to stay off online dating man. This will sound corny but youll meet the right one eventually. Youre gonna meet a lot of shitty people when youre actively looking for someone. Just lay off the internet dating and wait till you meet them

[QUOTE=Cyke Lon bee;50872357]Sounds like you need to stay off online dating man. This will sound corny but youll meet the right one eventually. Youre gonna meet a lot of shitty people when youre actively looking for someone. Just lay off the internet dating and wait till you meet them[/QUOTE] I'm not even online dating. This is just a girl I met in person who was visiting, we spent a few days together, skype for a while, then she came back

[QUOTE=phygon;50871218]I don't want a perfect girl, I just want one who's problems are "I need to study really hard or I'm not going to pass the calculus final" and not "my brother raped me after my abusive ex threw me down a flight of stairs"[/QUOTE] Almost everyone has experienced trauma at some point in their life. Instead of looking for someone sheltered, you might want to focus on meeting someone who has been able to recover from their past issues.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;50874929]Almost everyone has experienced trauma at some point in their life. Instead of looking for someone sheltered, you might want to focus on meeting someone who has been able to recover from their past issues.[/QUOTE] I'm talking about active issues. Of course I don't mind if they've had issues in the past, but I don't want to date someone who I have to be a 24/7 emotional crutch for because theyre suffering from secret crippling depression

[QUOTE=phygon;50875197]I'm talking about active issues. Of course I don't mind if they've had issues in the past, but I don't want to date someone who I have to be a 24/7 emotional crutch for because theyre suffering from secret crippling depression[/QUOTE] The worst part about that is getting attached if you decided to deal with it, you feel like some hero. You get taken for granted and used like a goddamn dog in the end. [editline]13th August 2016[/editline] Not worth it, if this girl has those sort of issues it's not worth the affection, it'll blow up.