Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

[QUOTE=Cyke Lon bee;50914633]Fine but do you honestly think they should have the power to tell you to go see a doctor or face legal consequences?[/QUOTE] If you're harboring a treatable contagion yes

[QUOTE=Cyke Lon bee;50914633]Fine but do you honestly think they should have the power to tell you to go see a doctor or face legal consequences?[/QUOTE] Yes? It's illegal to knowingly pass on an STD or STI to a sexual partner. [quote]In many states, if you don’t tell a partner about an STD and your partner contracts the disease, you could face a civil lawsuit. STDs often require medical treatment laws-on-stdsto cure and some, like HIV/AIDS and herpes, are incurable and can require life-long medical treatment. Even if a victim’s damages aren’t high in physical terms, their emotional trauma and humiliation are enough to entitle them to compensation in some states. In New York, the law states that a person has a duty to warn about an STD. Why? Because the law assumes that individuals would not have sex if they knew about the disease beforehand whether that is accurate on a person-by-person case or not. A person not warning their sexual partner and transmitting an STD is considered guilty of battery. Typically, your partner could sue you for negligence or personal injury, and if you lose, you may have to pay monetary damages for your partner’s costs (therapy, medical treatment, loss of time at work, etc.) and injuries.[/quote] [quote]Criminal charges may ensue if you do not say anything to your partner. In states like California it is a felony for anyone who knows that they are infected with HIV/AIDS to: - Engage in unprotected sexual activity with a partner - Not tell the partner about the HIV status - Engage in unprotected sexual activity for the purpose of infecting the partner with HIV Anyone violating this law faces up to eight years in jail. California’s law, as in other states like Florida, makes it a misdemeanor (resulting in a few months in jail, a fine or both) if the STD is something other than HIV/AIDS.[/quote] [[URL="https://www.stdcheck.com/blog/stds-and-the-law/"]x[/URL]]

Haven't posted in here for a while. How is everyone's hot gfs?

[QUOTE=RobL;50916069]Haven't posted in here for a while. How is everyone's hot gfs?[/QUOTE] she's amazing :)

Girlfriend texted me tonight, said she remembered why she hated parties. Went to visit, seemed like a sex and coke party, her too drunk to remember she even texted. Left after an hour, told her she should stay if she wanted and she did. I feel like shit and never been so disappointed, not sure what to do.

[QUOTE=Tools;50916139]Girlfriend texted me tonight, said she remembered why she hated parties. Went to visit, seemed like a sex and coke party, her too drunk to remember she even texted. Left after an hour, told her she should stay if she wanted and she did. I feel like shit and never been so disappointed, not sure what to do.[/QUOTE] Drunk people will always think there is more fun to be had, even when it's 5am and everyone is fuckin passed out :v: I wouldn't take her poor decision making too much to your heart. She'll probably be embarrassed about it tomorrow

I've been having a lot of nervous breakdowns in the past couple months, and I think I just realized why. I knew that they all started because said something that upset my boyfriend, and then imagined that I had started a snowball that would lead to me doing more and more things that upset him, up to the point that he thought that he didn't love me anymore. This basically led me to start over analyzing every single little word that I said or decision that I made, and getting stuck in a nervous heap because I thought that nothing that I could ever say or do could make my boyfriend happy. The thought "I don't want to lose him" would keep looping in my head. I think I know what my problem is- for a while now, I've thought that my happiness is directly correlated to my boyfriend's. I thought that I could never really be complete without him and that if he left me, my life would be terrible. This is probably due to the fact that when we first got together, I was depressed. My boyfriend worked with me and helped me through a lot of my problems, because he was more mature than I was and could give me advice and support whenever something bad happened in my life. I began to depend on him to deal with problems I should have started dealing with myself, and I got into the mindset that the relationship was the only thing keeping me from crashing and burning. That was why I tried so hard to make him happy and why I hated myself so much when I upset him. He's been trying to tell me this for months now, but I finally realize the gravity of it: I don't have to sacrifice my own happiness for his. Making my boyfriend happy should always be a goal of mine, but I have to consider what makes me happy as well as what makes him happy before I make a decision. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this further, other than talking it out with my boyfriend? The fact that I can't seem to get past the nervous breakdowns upsets my boyfriend because he wants me to be happy, and wants me to realize that I'm not locked into only doing things that make him happy. I know that this is something I can fix or learn to deal with, and I want to work through it.

Going on my first date in like, three years. Pretty stoked.

[QUOTE=Cyke Lon bee;50914633]Fine but do you honestly think they should have the power to tell you to go see a doctor or face legal consequences?[/QUOTE] If you wanna keep your disease it's fine by me, your choice your responsibility your consequences If you can harm others you either get treated or get locked away

[QUOTE=Bathacker;50914561]So like... my first and only relationship ended last week after five years and because of a completely retarded reason... I want to put it behind me and eventuality meet someone new but like... I seriously don't know how. I'm not afraid of rejection or anything, I just literally don't know where people my age (26) hang out. I checked out the bars in my area but they're all sports bars so they're packed out with old fat guys and families with kids. Where else do people go?[/QUOTE] I'm in the same boat, recently lost all my friends including my longtime girlfriend at 19. I've started going to the gym and I think I'm gonna do an archery course thing, I've got no clue where to make friends but I figure getting out of the house is a good start. I'd suggest maybe doing the same then, people keep telling me to join hobby groups.

[QUOTE=RobL;50916069]Haven't posted in here for a while. How is everyone's hot gfs?[/QUOTE] She's now my ex gf whom I'm considering attempting to rekindle my relationship with if she agrees to get help for her issues

[QUOTE=Metherat;50916448]Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this further, other than talking it out with my boyfriend? The fact that I can't seem to get past the nervous breakdowns upsets my boyfriend because he wants me to be happy, and wants me to realize that I'm not locked into only doing things that make him happy. I know that this is something I can fix or learn to deal with, and I want to work through it.[/QUOTE] The best way to address anxiety is usually to humor your anxious thoughts and really allow yourself to explore those worst-case scenarios. Anxiety is something we construct ourselves - it's based on our own imaginations. Its beneficial purpose, though, is to help us mentally prepare for possible outcomes. If you're worried about your partner leaving you, take some time to really think about what that would mean. It's easier to be happy in a relationship when you recognize it as a luxury and not as life support. In your case, in some ways it might help to adapt a "single" mentality - it might help you redefine your definition of a relationship to something that grants you more freedom and independence.

So had my first appointment with psych today super good. they even had records of last time I went so I didn't have to explain my stuff all over again and the new psych was clued up on it so we just straight up started In the meantime I installed tinder I guess for the voyeurism more than anything else but also to sort of try and think about the idea that other girls exist and so far I haven't gotten any matches because I don't have any photos that show my face or a bio (I just have a darkened photo of me holding a cat and it doesnt show my face at all) but it's pretty entertaining, really sort of helps you understand the diversity of people that exist just by even the way they represent themselves with like one fuckin photo

[QUOTE=phygon;50918041]She's now my ex gf whom I'm considering attempting to rekindle my relationship with if she agrees to get help for her issues[/QUOTE] People don't change because you ask them to and if you have to hold a relationship hostage in order to bargain for what you want, you should already know it's not going to work. You're clinging to what's comfortable just because you don't want to be alone.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;50918069]People don't change because you ask them to and if you have to hold a relationship hostage in order to bargain for what you want, you should already know it's not going to work. You're clinging to what's comfortable just because you don't want to be alone.[/QUOTE] Or, alternatively, I shouldn't be attempting to help her with her crippling depression alone because there are people who do it for a living who could probably do it better than I could. Being depressed isn't part of who someone is. I used to suffer from depression but I learned how to manage it and now my life is a lot better. I broke up with her because she would have long periods of depressive spiraling (that were getting longer). I couldn't handle it because I was unable to help, making me feel completely useless which brought back my own depression. I'm not bargaining for anything, nor am I clinging to anything. If she learned effective ways to manage her depression instead of leaning on me for it then we'd be fine because I love just about everything else about her.

No, you missed the point of my post. One trend I've noticed that really irks me is how many people believe that if they pay a therapist for weekly sessions, the therapist is supposed to somehow magically cure their issues with words. Counselors do not fix your issues for you - they simply serve as advice-givers. You cannot help someone who does not want to change. If you are planning to mother your ex-girlfriend by monitoring her therapy, you have no way of gauging her progress and this lack of progress (or perception of it) will undoubtedly drive you crazy.

speaking as someone that has gone to therapy for years, nothing would make me not want to go (or not go purely out of spite) than someone monitoring my progress therapists are not magicians, they can't pull happiness out of a hat. if she doesn't want to change, she won't

I remember when I was a teen my parents dragged me through half a dozen different counselors and psychiatrists because none of them were getting results fast enough. They'd ask me after every appointment if the session helped and what I got out of it and I never knew what to say. It probably sounds like I blame them for it but my point is that it's easy to fall into that kind of detrimental behavior when you love someone and want them to get better. You'll drive yourself insane and you'll put more stress on your partner by making her own mental health about you.

GF is mad at me, but when I ask her why she's mad she said 'Nothing's wrong ugh' Thing is I literally can't think of anything I did wrong, I only asked her to hang out at the park with me and a mutual friend

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;50918437]GF is mad at me, but when I ask her why she's mad she said 'Nothing's wrong ugh' Thing is I literally can't think of anything I did wrong, I only asked her to hang out at the park with me and a mutual friend[/QUOTE] If something is wrong, you might want to back off for a bit and let her discuss it with you when she's ready. It can certainly be difficult to sit back and do nothing in a situation like that, but it's often your best option. I doubt she expects you to be a mind reader and she probably will discuss it with you once she has the words for it. Rushing a sensitive conversation can easily lead to unnecessary arguments.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;50918503]If something is wrong, you might want to back off for a bit and let her discuss it with you when she's ready. It can certainly be difficult to sit back and do nothing in a situation like that, but it's often your best option. I doubt she expects you to be a mind reader and she probably will discuss it with you once she has the words for it. Rushing a sensitive conversation can easily lead to unnecessary arguments.[/QUOTE] Yea I'm taking distance for now, not that I like it very much. I just want things to be okay :/

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;50919279]I always found this to be super immature[/QUOTE] Same, but almost every girl I know does this to their boyfriend. And every guy I know that has a girlfriend has had this problem too. Guess you have to deal with it...

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;50918371]No, you missed the point of my post. One trend I've noticed that really irks me is how many people believe that if they pay a therapist for weekly sessions, the therapist is supposed to somehow magically cure their issues with words. Counselors do not fix your issues for you - they simply serve as advice-givers. You cannot help someone who does not want to change. If you are planning to mother your ex-girlfriend by monitoring her therapy, you have no way of gauging her progress and this lack of progress (or perception of it) will undoubtedly drive you crazy.[/QUOTE] She does want to change, but she was leaning on me for it which was taxing. She should be getting help from someone who's licensed instead of an armchair therapist. I'm good at advice and helping people emotionally, but I fully realize that [I]I am not a therapist[/I] and I can only help so much. [editline]20th August 2016[/editline] I know how therapists work. The reason I learned to manage my depression was because I went to one.

[QUOTE=darksoul69;50910013]If you test positive then your doctor should be the one to send those letters. I don't understand why the clinic requires a doctors signature and the letter to be sent back. I wouldn't want a clinic I've never used before to suddenly know who my primary physician is or if I test positive or not for privacy reasons. But I'm not familiar with Sweden laws so eh.[/QUOTE] Medical records are a lot more open in most of europe than they are in the states. That's why it's so common for pharma companies to do their trials over there.

[QUOTE=Cyberuben;50919319]Same, but almost every girl I know does this to their boyfriend. And every guy I know that has a girlfriend has had this problem too. Guess you have to deal with it...[/QUOTE] In all my relationships I've told my partners that they have to be, to a degree, straight up about stuff like that if I ask- I tell them to either tell me what's wrong, say that they want to talk about it later, or that they don't want to talk about it at all.If they say "nothing" then I'll treat it like it's literally nothing.

Guys, so, yea, was with this girl that I'm really into, finally got my chance to do it. Fingered her, got a boner, she wanted me and as I removed my pants and thought about going in - it fucking died. Fucking boner died. I think I was nervous because it would have been her first time or sth. How do I deal with dissappointment in myself and in dissappointment I brought to her?

if you think boners are under your control you are mistaken

[QUOTE=E = MC Hammer;50920748]if you think boners are under your control you are mistaken[/QUOTE] I know they aren't, but this had never happened to me before. I feel so fucking ashamed.

[QUOTE=Ringo_Satu;50920725]Guys, so, yea, was with this girl that I'm really into, finally got my chance to do it. Fingered her, got a boner, she wanted me and as I removed my pants and thought about going in - it fucking died. Fucking boner died. I think I was nervous because it would have been her first time or sth. [B]How do I deal with dissappointment in myself and in dissappointment I brought to her?[/B][/QUOTE] ask her out again next time it goes down, go back to kissing etc until it goes back up It's nothing to be ashamed about, she's not judging you, just get back to it.

[QUOTE=phygon;50920781]ask her out again next time it goes down, go back to kissing etc until it goes back up It's nothing to be ashamed about, she's not judging you, just get back to it.[/QUOTE] She's not judging me, I believe, but I am not sure she'll go out again. Nerves are getting on me and I am afraid if the next time happens, I'll be even more nervous bc of this accident. Fucking hell.