Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

[QUOTE=VenomousBeetle;50981233]I wanna ask her if she's gonna be okay because she mentioned in a group chat something about possibly not being emotionally well enough to go to Kings Island, but I'm struggling with phrasing it in a way that sounds right. So far I've got "Hey, are you gonna be alright? What's going on over there sounds messed up. Do you think venting/talking about it would help?" Something about the phrasing doesn't sound right when I read it. [editline]31st August 2016[/editline] How do you guys usually offer support and to listen to someone's problems? [editline]31st August 2016[/editline] Or maybe I should just be like "So that rent thing sounds pretty messed up, what's up with that?"[/QUOTE] Christ, mentioning Kings Island makes me think you're in in Ohio? $500/month is outrageous for anywhere there. I've rented 2 bedroom apartments for that much in Ohio.

No, Indiana. [editline]31st August 2016[/editline] But yeah I don't doubt it [editline]31st August 2016[/editline] She has no license so accusing of extortion-like stuff going on probably isn't far-fetched

Indiana too. It's been a while since I've lived there but its not very expensive in most places :v:

To be honest, besides the rent part in particular I think I might have had some similar issues, with it sounding like she's stuck there. I hadn't had a license for a long time so I was basically handicapped with being able to get away, because I couldn't get the parents to hand over my documents or get a ride to the BMV. Start to feel trapped after awhile, can't imagine how terrible it must be being basically extorted at the same time. I dunno how it is, it sounded like she thought this was normal when she said something about how she expected the rent raise to only be $50-75 from 400, instead of $150. Must suck, dude. Anyways, I told her I'm here for her and she said she's feeling a lot better but is going to take my "offer to heart if something else happens" I told her it's valid any time and that I'm glad she's feeling better. I think that went well. I certainly feel less anxious.

For me its almost impossible for me to ask out a girl or do anything with new people. Mostly because of the shit that fucked up my head in highschool. For the girls, most of my class girls were either not interested, i wasnt interested, or already had dates. So that pretty much made me think i could never get anybody. This thought pretty much burned into my brain in one of the reasons why i cant get a girlfriend. The big reason why its hard for me to think making out or having sex with a woman feels weird in my head is half the shit i endured in the locker rooms. The Fucking hazing, i swear to god it was like everyday during my freshman and sophmore years. There were times i got pinned down on the ground by the jocks as someone shoved their ass into my face as i struggled to get loose. Sometimes there were times were they knock me down on the ground as someone jumps on me and dry humps me as other people hold me down. Everytime this shit happened, i struggled, i punched, i smashed people into lockers to get them to stop. Everytime i tried to react against them, they would just do it more. There were times i had to beg to my mom and dad (before he died) on the shit they did to me to tell somebody. They told my principle and the coach. The jocks would stop for a week, then they will continue to do it again, and again. Each time i screamed or yelled at them to stop, or punched or resisted. I was told i was a bully and a asshole, just to defend myself against the fucking hazing. I feel like this pretty much fucked me in the head socially and mentally. I feel like everyone thinks im a creepo, i feel like people think im a idiot or an asshole. Probably could never enjoy sex with any woman because this shit is burned in the back of my head. And i'm straight. Had to get that crap off of my chest. When im typing this i feel people would tell me "shut up bitch, Dude you are just overreacting." Thats what i think anymore, everyone either yells at me or makes fun of me. Even though thats not the case at all. Whoever does hazing or thinks its cool. Go fucking choke on a chode and burn in goddamn hell you motherfuckers. Sorry if what i typed is not suitable for the thread, cant fucking take it anymore...

[QUOTE=Deathtrooper2;50982018]For me its almost impossible for me to ask out a girl or do anything with new people. Mostly because of the shit that fucked up my head in highschool. For the girls, most of my class girls were either not interested, i wasnt interested, or already had dates. So that pretty much made me think i could never get anybody. This thought pretty much burned into my brain in one of the reasons why i cant get a girlfriend. The big reason why its hard for me to think making out or having sex with a woman feels weird in my head is half the shit i endured in the locker rooms. The Fucking hazing, i swear to god it was like everyday during my freshman and sophmore years. There were times i got pinned down on the ground by the jocks as someone shoved their ass into my face as i struggled to get loose. Sometimes there were times were they knock me down on the ground as someone jumps on me and dry humps me as other people hold me down. Everytime this shit happened, i struggled, i punched, i smashed people into lockers to get them to stop. Everytime i tried to react against them, they would just do it more. There were times i had to beg to my mom and dad (before he died) on the shit they did to me to tell somebody. They told my principle and the coach. The jocks would stop for a week, then they will continue to do it again, and again. Each time i screamed or yelled at them to stop, or punched or resisted. I was told i was a bully and a asshole, just to defend myself against the fucking hazing. I feel like this pretty much fucked me in the head socially and mentally. I feel like everyone thinks im a creepo, i feel like people think im a idiot or an asshole. Probably could never enjoy sex with any woman because this shit is burned in the back of my head. And i'm straight. Had to get that crap off of my chest. When im typing this i feel people would tell me "shut up bitch, Dude you are just overreacting." Thats what i think anymore, everyone either yells at me or makes fun of me. Even though thats not the case at all. Whoever does hazing or thinks its cool. Go fucking choke on a chode and burn in goddamn hell you motherfuckers. Sorry if what i typed is not suitable for the thread, cant fucking take it anymore...[/QUOTE] Sounds like you had a pretty rough time and I'm sorry to hear it. Have you considered getting the help of a psychologist if that option is available to you? I used to get bullied a fucktonne from about age 9-17 and I'm finding therapy is helping.

I feel like it's impossible for me to have a truly meaningful and deep connection with most people, and I only really realized it when I began dating seriously. This is something that I noticed about a year ago. It's really hard to explain, but I just don't feel like I can... "connect" with people in the way that a lot of other people do. I have friends who I enjoy spending time around, I have no problem dating, etc.... but it feels like I'm going through the motions. I almost feel like my life is a game a lot of the time- as if things are sterile, and non-personal. I almost feel like I'm spectating my life from the outside, and like I'm not actually me. I don't really feel strong emotions about anything. It's strange. When I'm in a relationship and things are starting to get serious I usually drop out because I just feel incapable of feeling the way that my partner does about me. This isn't normal, right? I'm asking here because it's affecting my ability to date (obviously) [editline]1st September 2016[/editline] I'm not trying to be an edgelord I swear

[QUOTE=phygon;50982750]I feel like it's impossible for me to have a truly meaningful and deep connection with most people, and I only really realized it when I began dating seriously. This is something that I noticed about a year ago. It's really hard to explain, but I just don't feel like I can... "connect" with people in the way that a lot of other people do. I have friends who I enjoy spending time around, I have no problem dating, etc.... but it feels like I'm going through the motions. I almost feel like my life is a game a lot of the time- as if things are sterile, and non-personal. I almost feel like I'm spectating my life from the outside, and like I'm not actually me. I don't really feel strong emotions about anything. It's strange. When I'm in a relationship and things are starting to get serious I usually drop out because I just feel incapable of feeling the way that my partner does about me. This isn't normal, right? I'm asking here because it's affecting my ability to date (obviously) [editline]1st September 2016[/editline] I'm not trying to be an edgelord I swear[/QUOTE] The word for that feeling, I think, is "dissociation." My girlfriend has a dissociative disorder that hits her pretty strong sometimes, and she uses a lot of similar language to describe it. She says it feels like she's only spectating her body, rather than inhabiting it. It's like life takes on a dull or muted quality, and she feels disconnected from the events going on around her. In especially bad episodes, she even has trouble determing what IS real. She'll develop false memories of things that never happened, or mistake real memories as falsehoods. Medication and therapy has helped reduced the frequency and intensity of these episodes, but she still has her days where she says things just feel a step or two removed from reality. Might not be nearly as bad as this for you, but therapy might be worth considering.

[QUOTE=phygon;50982750]I feel like it's impossible for me to have a truly meaningful and deep connection with most people, and I only really realized it when I began dating seriously. This is something that I noticed about a year ago. It's really hard to explain, but I just don't feel like I can... "connect" with people in the way that a lot of other people do. I have friends who I enjoy spending time around, I have no problem dating, etc.... but it feels like I'm going through the motions. I almost feel like my life is a game a lot of the time- as if things are sterile, and non-personal. I almost feel like I'm spectating my life from the outside, and like I'm not actually me. I don't really feel strong emotions about anything. It's strange. When I'm in a relationship and things are starting to get serious I usually drop out because I just feel incapable of feeling the way that my partner does about me. This isn't normal, right? I'm asking here because it's affecting my ability to date (obviously) [editline]1st September 2016[/editline] I'm not trying to be an edgelord I swear[/QUOTE] I have experienced this occasionally as well (or something similar to it, at least) and know how scary it can be. The most accurate word I've found for my own experience of it would be derealization (which is a type of dissociative disorder). It has always been episodic for me and I get the same experience of feeling like I'm looking at my life/experiences from the outside and being unable to emotionally connect to my surroundings. Derealization often correlates with drug use as well as past trauma and stress/panic disorders.

Been out with a girl a couple times who told me she isnt looking for a relationship but if i want to sleep with her i should stop beating around the bush and just say so. I dont know, being so blunt about it takes some of the fun away. She doesnt even like the idea of foreplay, literally pants down and get to work. Im not looking for anything serious either but it seems like a crap way of doing things.

[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;50983556]Been out with a girl a couple times who told me she isnt looking for a relationship but if i want to sleep with her i should stop beating around the bush and just say so. I dont know, being so blunt about it takes some of the fun away. She doesnt even like the idea of foreplay, literally pants down and get to work. Im not looking for anything serious either but it seems like a crap way of doing things.[/QUOTE] I sure wish I could find someone blunt about these things, to get to the point of it and do things immediately

[QUOTE=SebiWarrior;50983565]I sure wish I could find someone blunt about these things, to get to the point of it and do things immediately[/QUOTE] If thats what you like then sure. I just come out of it super unsatisfied. Skipping foreplay entirely is just so boring.

[QUOTE=RainbowStalin;50983598]If thats what you like then sure. I just come out of it super unsatisfied. Skipping foreplay entirely is just so boring.[/QUOTE] That is not even the beginning of foreplay, not sure what kind of foreplaying you are trying to get but what she says only confirms that she does want to have sex in case that is something you do want from her. This doesn't translate to you having to say "Yes i would like very much to have sex right now, please".

[QUOTE=darth-veger;50983640]That is not even the beginning of foreplay, not sure what kind of foreplaying you are trying to get but what she says only confirms that she does want to have sex in case that is something you do want from her. This doesn't translate to you having to say "Yes i would like very much to have sex right now, please".[/QUOTE] I have asked her about it and when i say no foreplay i mean like you both drop pants get straight to sex and then once you're done you zip up and go about your day. Like a 10 minute job. I dont see how thats any fun.

I ate 2 jalepeños yesterday. The shit burns so much.

what kind of robot is this girl

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;50983535]I have experienced this occasionally as well (or something similar to it, at least) and know how scary it can be. The most accurate word I've found for my own experience of it would be derealization (which is a type of dissociative disorder). It has always been episodic for me and I get the same experience of feeling like I'm looking at my life/experiences from the outside and being unable to emotionally connect to my surroundings. Derealization often correlates with drug use as well as past trauma and stress/panic disorders.[/QUOTE] The thing is for me, it's not really episodic, nor is it that severe. To be honest, I have a hunch that I might be [I]slightly[/I] autistic and / or have slightly sociopathic tendencies and then the depresionalization rises from the fact that I can't fully connect with like 99.8% of people. I feel like this is the wrong thread for this though, so nevermind

Could be depression.

Yes, it is depression mixed with past trauma. Even if you didn't feel it was traumatic at the time. People that feel this way tend to isolate themselves which just makes the issue worse. Therapy may or may not help but from experience you need to mentally recognize the problem and then push forward. [editline]1st September 2016[/editline] This is also why placebos are so effective with depression. It's because you've recognized the problem and are trying to push forward.

I slept ~30 minutes because the chick I took home takes up all the bed and I couldn't sleep after the initial blackout. She told me it was the best sex of her life. We'll see if it's true after she wakes up. I just wanted to share this because I've been depressed lately then this happened after random Tinder-date. I'm pumped and happy again! Will report what she says when she wakes up. :v:

Talking to chick about going to kings island she gets excited when I post a pic of "The Beast" (worlds largest roller coaster) ask "So you're into the big roller coaster thing huh?" "Why do you think we're going here?" .... I'm drowning in a pool of my own autism

thats not pc...

[QUOTE=Hilton;50992665]thats not pc...[/QUOTE] if you're expecting people to be pc on facepunch i've got news for you buddy

[QUOTE=darksoul69;50986395]Yes, it is [B]depression mixed with past trauma. Even if you didn't feel it was traumatic at the time.[/B] People that feel this way tend to isolate themselves which just makes the issue worse. Therapy may or may not help but from experience you need to mentally recognize the problem and then push forward. [editline]1st September 2016[/editline] This is also why placebos are so effective with depression. It's because you've recognized the problem and are trying to push forward.[/QUOTE] Why are you so certain trauma was involved? I can't think of anything in my past that was traumatic.

So is it normal that I find asking someone out online pretty lame or is it what people do nowadays?

[QUOTE=gooldude;50995176]So is it normal that I find asking someone out online pretty lame or is it what people do nowadays?[/QUOTE] If it's a person you met online I see the reasoning, but you should always ask out in-person if possible imo.

[QUOTE=gooldude;50995176]So is it normal that I find asking someone out online pretty lame or is it what people do nowadays?[/QUOTE] Do you know them irl? It's lame af. Are they someone you met online/on an app? Not at all

[QUOTE=phygon;50993066]Why are you so certain trauma was involved? I can't think of anything in my past that was traumatic.[/QUOTE] I'm talking about general trauma. If you've never had a traumatic moment in your life even as a toddler then congratulations.

[QUOTE=SgtTupelo;50992436]I slept ~30 minutes because the chick I took home takes up all the bed and I couldn't sleep after the initial blackout. She told me it was the best sex of her life. We'll see if it's true after she wakes up. I just wanted to share this because I've been depressed lately then this happened after random Tinder-date. I'm pumped and happy again! Will report what she says when she wakes up. :v:[/QUOTE] "Who are you? Where am I?"

[QUOTE=Big Dumb American;50995958]"Who are you? Where am I?"[/QUOTE] "Oh... Ew"