Sex, Girlfriends and Shit VII: "Power Moves For High Quality Women" - General

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Sometimes it is better to forget the past, no matter what lengths you must go to in order to do so, the question isn't whether it's right or wrong but rather whether it's the right choice for you. I try not to repress memories because there's a lot to learn from the experiences I have been through and the mistakes I have made, but there's some memories that should be repressed. Memories are important to an extent because it can remind you of mistakes you made in the past so that you avoid them next time, or so you can remember good or bad experiences and what lead to those experiences so you can see them before they happen this time around.

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[QUOTE=Reyjr43;51201326]Sometimes it is better to forget the past, no matter what lengths you must go to in order to do so, the question isn't whether it's right or wrong but rather whether it's the right choice for you.[/QUOTE] No. This isn't Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. You can't just erase memories because you don't want them anymore. If you repress a memory, you aren't getting rid of it - what you're doing is stuffing it into a corner and trying to pretend you can't see it. You think you can prevent yourself from thinking about a bad memory by telling yourself not to think about it? Try this: don't think about cake. Don't let yourself think about your favorite kind of cake or how soft and fluffy it is. Don't think about the last birthday party you had cake at. How did you manage? It's still there and it is absolutely going to continue affecting your emotions and your behavior until you unpack that baggage and actually sort through it. You're only making it worse on yourself by stuffing it into that suitcase in the first place.

Repressing a memory will only make it more difficult to deal with when it comes back up again in some way. You've gotta make peace with it, not ignore it. My conundrum: my girlfriend is one of those people who always pushes being nothing but positive and always presenting a strong image no matter what, and even though I keep telling her it's okay to get pissed or cry sometimes, she's always apologizing for venting frustrations and getting annoyed. Is there a way I can convince her that it's okay to vent when you're frustrated and bottling it up in order to make yourself seem always positive and strong just going to make things worse for you? It doesn't happen often, but I can see that it's affecting her negatively.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51202901]The past makes you who you are, for better or worse. You have to accept it. It happened. You can learn from it, change from it, but do not repress it, it only makes it harmful.[/QUOTE] Nailed it. It happened, whatever. You're not gonna fix it. Everyone makes mistakes every once in a while, just don't repeat them.

[QUOTE=RenegadeCop;51202901]The past makes you who you are, for better or worse. You have to accept it. It happened. You can learn from it, change from it, but do not repress it, it only makes it harmful.[/QUOTE] That's kind of what helped me learn to forgive some of the people that have hurt me. All of us have been hurt at some point in our life but how we deal with it is ultimately a choice. It's normal to hurt for a while and need time to recover, but ultimately it is your own choice whether you move on or you keep calling yourself a victim. It's nice to have the support of others for a while, but let's be real, defining yourself by the worst things that have happened to you and not the best things you have chosen to do yourself gets old. Are you really going to be happy with yourself in the long term, or proud of yourself, if you decide to push away a problem and try your hardest to ignore it instead of overcoming that obstacle? I am happy with who I am today. I am proud of the struggles I have overcome. In a way, I have to thank the people from my past who presented me with those struggles in the first place so I could see how strong I was.

I remember being so resentful towards my ex and so willing to just supress everything because I felt so hurt that I somehow managed to remember my first tome. Yes, I can't remember at all. Honestly, it is kind of a relief since I can't really feel hurt by something I can't remember.

I have a few kinky friends so I took a crack at making something for them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ [t]http://i.imgur.com/Qs2wYZw.jpg[/t] Working with leather is a bit hard, not gonna lie. First time I tried something like this.

You should've test it to see it's durability and effectiveness.

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51195457]That's categorized under "quality time". The 5 languages aren't referring to verbal spoken languages like English, they're referring to the styles in which you communicate your affection. Quality time was the most commonly expressed priority among my classmates (poll taken among ~150 people) with about 90% of us voting for that as most important. I personally [B]prioritize acts of service[/B]. [editline]12th October 2016[/editline] I think the term I actually used when we were discussing it was under a slightly different context - "parallel play". This can certainly fit into what people consider "quality time", though I'd imagine the parameters for what quality time actually is can vary from person to person.[/QUOTE] I'm the same way, I show affection through primarily acts of service and she prefers to receive it via spoken affirmation. [I]really[/I] sucks sometimes because I'm not as "talkey" as she seems to want sometimes and that hurts her because she sees it as I don't care or don't value it when in reality its quite the opposite. By the way, hey doods. been a while. Here's whats changed: GF and I are renting a house together now. Thats some scary shit. We've spent the last 2 months solid trying to clean up the house from the last tenant, next step is cleaning the damn vents. Air filter was completely blown out and its pretty royally sodomizing both our sinuses on a daily basis [I]after[/I] replacing the filter. Best part was on the exact day that we were to get the keys to the house... I got laid off. Aaaand so knowing I'd get a new job within the month, we took the chance and hid that fact from the landlord and the property management company. Probably not the best idea, but I have a new job now so whatevs. Only thing now is I'll be carrying most of the weight because GF [I]drained[/I] her savings keeping this thing afloat until then. BTW 3 years together as of october 10th. Assuming things stabalize quickly I'm looking at popping the question either Christmas or shortly after the new year... Its about time I put a ring on her finger, shit's taken too long already.

i met a nice girl and went out 4 times in the past 2 or 3 months. I paid for everything, we had a great time, and then she told me she didn't want a relationship :/ I said that's ok and we're still friends but man I was hoping that would work out better for me. It's been two years since my last real relationship and every girl I've gone out with since has ultimately turned me down. I'm trying to keep my chin up but it wears on me. I keep asking myself why I bother, and I can't shake the feeling that I'm just somebody that no-one wants to be in love with ty for reading my vent I just had to put it in words, i don't talk to my friends about this stuff :/

Not sure how old you are, but a lot of young adults today are holding off on settling down in favor of advancing their professional lives. Chances are it doesn't have to do with you personally.

GF bought SM stuff, got the pictures today and I'm very excited to try them out

[QUOTE=Guy Mannly;51219565]Not sure how old you are, but a lot of young adults today are holding off on settling down in favor of advancing their professional lives. Chances are it doesn't have to do with you personally.[/QUOTE] This is happening to an extreme in many parts of Asia. Especially Japan. People right now are simply disinterested in actual relationships and families and children. Its causing a massive population decline that is going to get far worse before it improves. [editline]18th October 2016[/editline] [QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;51221414]GF bought SM stuff, got the pictures today and I'm very excited to try them out[/QUOTE] Kinky. I'm trying to figure out more about what my GF likes but won't tell me she likes. She says she wants me to be more assertive, but I want to know [I]more.[/I]

Does any of you guys have any tips regarding being too big for your girlfriend? We're in a long distance relationship right now, but she's coming to visit me pretty soon and there are some, uh, size differences between us. I'm kinda nervous about it. Help?

[QUOTE=Sandvich9;51224493]Does any of you guys have any tips regarding being too big for your girlfriend? We're in a long distance relationship right now, but she's coming to visit me pretty soon and there are some, uh, size differences between us. I'm kinda nervous about it. Help?[/QUOTE] What do you mean? Have you already tried and failed? If penetration is too painful for her or even straight up impossible, there's a good chance it isn't due to your size and may be vaginism. Otherwise I suppose it shouldn't be too hard, just make sure she's properly aroused before going in, and don't be too rough. Vaginas are quite flexible and can accommodate for the partner's size.

lube

[QUOTE=Sandvich9;51224493]Does any of you guys have any tips regarding being too big for your girlfriend? We're in a long distance relationship right now, but she's coming to visit me pretty soon and there are some, uh, size differences between us. I'm kinda nervous about it. Help?[/QUOTE] Drown her in lube. If you think you've used enough, chuck some more on. Do not be tempted to not use lube if it seems possible one day. You will chafe the fuck outta your head.

I'm about 9 inches bigger than my girlfriend, sometimes I rest my chin on her head when I'm thinking.

[QUOTE=cyclocius;51225804]I'm about 9 inches bigger than my girlfriend, sometimes I rest my chin on her head when I'm thinking.[/QUOTE] the innocence is so adorable

just broke up with my long term girl friend a few days ago, to be honest I dont think we were ready for it to go this long, but it still hurts bad, and I don't know what to do about it. Its a large part of my life just gone and I cant seem to fill the hole with just talking to friends, exercise, and hobbies. Should I just let it run its course?

[QUOTE=IceBlizzerd;51225839]just broke up with my long term girl friend a few days ago, to be honest I dont think we were ready for it to go this long, but it still hurts bad, and I don't know what to do about it. Its a large part of my life just gone and I cant seem to fill the hole with just talking to friends, exercise, and hobbies. Should I just let it run its course?[/QUOTE] You gotta let it run its course. I don't know how long 'long term' is in this situation, but she was obviously a big part of your life and that's gone now. You gotta let it heal.

[QUOTE=Kirbyfactor;51225849]You gotta let it run its course. I don't know how long 'long term' is in this situation, but she was obviously a big part of your life and that's gone now. You gotta let it heal.[/QUOTE] it was about a year and a half, I've never had something go for so long so it seems long term to me. In the end she cheated and I left. I know why, but grappling with it is something that's gunna take me awhile I think. One good thing to come out of this is she helped me believe in myself, I'm more confident. Even now that shes gone I still am, and I think that's something I should focus on. [editline]19th October 2016[/editline] Thanks Kirby

[QUOTE=cyclocius;51225804]I'm about 9 inches bigger than my girlfriend, sometimes I rest my chin on her head when I'm thinking.[/QUOTE] I have the opposite problem. All the girls I like are slightly taller than me. [sp] I'm 5'2" [/sp]

[QUOTE=IceBlizzerd;51225884]it was about a year and a half, I've never had something go for so long so it seems long term to me. In the end she cheated and I left. I know why, but grappling with it is something that's gunna take me awhile I think. One good thing to come out of this is she helped me believe in myself, I'm more confident. Even now that shes gone I still am, and I think that's something I should focus on. [editline]19th October 2016[/editline] Thanks Kirby[/QUOTE] If she cheated on you you're most definitely better off. If you stayed with her she would've destroyed all the self confidence you have now. In time you'll heal, and then later you'll find someone who is really worth it.

[QUOTE=Yahnich;51200578]so ive been single for a solid 6 months now and i still have not a single desire for a new relationship, like i've actively sabotaged things ive had going on feels strange[/QUOTE] I have done this too, are you still in love/hung up on someone? Cos that was my reasoning. Felt kinda bad about it but whenever the other person fucked up I was like meh, bye. I didn't have like the slightest bit of real effort for them and it made me feel like a dick kinda.

[QUOTE=Adelle Zhu;51226296]I have the opposite problem. All the girls I like are slightly taller than me. [sp] I'm 5'2" [/sp][/QUOTE] Same problem except in 5' 4". I figure it may not go along with social norms but fuck it. Who cares if you date a taller chick. It's not like it was our choice being manlets.

[QUOTE=Sandvich9;51224493]Does any of you guys have any tips regarding being too big for your girlfriend? We're in a long distance relationship right now, but she's coming to visit me pretty soon and there are some, uh, size differences between us. I'm kinda nervous about it. Help?[/QUOTE] Is her dick bigger than yours?

In January, I will have been single for three years. I enjoy the amount of quiet I have in my life but I wish I had someone to call my companion. I'm caught between justifying my singleness by telling myself that I should make myself my main priority. That I shouldn't get distracted by a relationship. But that doesn't really make the loneliness away. I don't know what to do. Is anyone else in this spot?